/cric/ket World Cup Final Pre Match Thread #2

hey (ya hey ya you think you got it oh you think you got it but got it just dont get it cos theres nothing at all)

sweden

We use hey

They also invented English, 'cept over there it's called angleloggedywigwog

stores and marketting all say trousers
yeah say chips
ive literally NEVER heard an australian call petrol gas
it's zed (and haych)

Can we get Queen Elizabeth II to deliver the trophy to the winner?

this just in: your culture is defined by whether you say pants or trousers

*starts up leafblower*

It's already home ;)

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zed I meant

Soccer instead of football

we say football mate, just refer to the superior code as such.

the US, but only a weird outlier like Hawaii, Alaska or Oregon

Underwear = pants, unless they're boxers. Knickers for women

>make own sport called football
>prefer American entertainment over British
>dollar
>big roads and cars

Looks you like Americans mate

Because Mark's a fucking spastic.

soccer is English, mong
they used it when we were colonised. it only died out over there recently

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>call petrol gas
>say zee instead of zed
BASED brainlet

this is grotesque and I'm glad we don't say this

They also have a very high rate of circumcision and drive automatics more than manual.

No one under 50 says knickers anymore.

our football predates soccer
90% of the entertainment you get here is australian (our sports or our reality tv shows). australia is a relatively small market for movies
the dollar that has the queen's face on it
no one drives big cars here, the australian car of choice is a holden ute or commodore, even those jap ricer cars are more popular

lawncunt laying down the law

Peep Show is too funny.

Any good modern British comedies out lads?

tbf I think only boomers are circumcised there and all of about 10% of the younger gen are.

Official thread theme:
youtu.be/PfdvAVkg1X0

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>In recent years the rate of circumcision in Australia has fallen and it is now estimated that around 32 percent of Australian men under 30 are circumcised.
*becomes less american*
BASED

never saw a cut penis here and I've seen a lot of them

Nonce

bit rude that

It's only haytch if you're Irish or taught pronunciation by Irish.
It's 'aitch otherwise.

This "sport" is fucking stupid

infant circumcision will be banned in the entire west (except perhaps the US) before 2030
screencap this

same honestly. none of the lads in my classes back during school were cut except one of the indonesian kids.

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I'm Irish by heritage

zimbabwe doesn't seem too bad desu youtu.be/URFYUNZ_qvI

inbetweeners and shameless were better than peep show

remember that time a mutterican Kylie tried to trademark "Kylie" and got btfo? good times
shaking my head.com.au/entertainment/celebrity/kylie-minogue-beats-kylie-jenner-in-battle-to-trademark-name-20170207-gu708v.html
youtube.com/watch?v=WSFDCmmsqEI

every sticky usually just gets filled with /pol/-tier shitposting and LE ROLL UR NUMBER xD and COUNTRY BELOW ME IS SMELLY xDDDDD

>replying to Americans

youtu.be/iP1RNJVcNIU

honestly thought nothing of rihanna but since seeing her at the cricket the way she cheered on her team, i've thought about nothing but fucking her

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Seen both. Is Black Books any good?

we say haytch you dog cunt

And f/a/gs

at gym

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fingered hex in a nightclub ama

yeh it is, you seen all of the ‘that mitchell and webb look’?

google.com/amp/s/www.musixmatch.com/lyrics/Cranky/Australia-Don-t-Become-America/amp

Reddit meme

That would indicate that you're either of Irish descent or where taught pronunciation by someone of Irish descent or that they were ad infinitum.
The letter is 'aitch. And there's literally nothing wrong with being Irish, your best cricketer Irish.

that meme has been here since like 2012 lad, if anything they took it form us

Nope. Those are the guys on Peep Show right?

Wonder if Canada and Australia will keep the monarchy once Charles is in power?

my grandparents are irish but i wasnt taught english by any irish folk

Jimmy neesham is so fucking réddit

Haitch is working class pronunciation

you bowled a wide in the ashes final? how can you live with yer sen?

really don't understand why americans think we watch a lot of their media. apart from a few shows like got no one watches tv to begin with. and all the boomers watch australian reality shows like MKR and masterchef. outside of that its just sports with the two dominant codes being domestic australian sports.

the royal family are more popular here than they have been in decades

What happens to /cric/ in the brief interlude between the CWC Final and the first Ashes test?

Does it die?

aye thats the badgers

The ignorance on display here makes me want to kill myself.

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If you're some sort of low class pleb.

Because they got BLACKED

The Ireland test at Lord's .

it's a fucking nightmare trying to watch the odd good show they produce legally there's no way the average bogan would know how
just a laughable proposition

It turns into /comfycric/

Americans are dumb as shit. I've been told here I speak good English for someone from England.

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UK TV is flooded with it

cannot comprehend it. Leaves a weird metally taste in my mouth thinking about people doing it

No, it's basically just threads like this with nice off topic discussion until cricket is on again.

that's bullshit but I believe it

pavement

circumcision
winningest
obesity (c)
56%
political brand loyalty
women's soccer (wk)
SPLC
---DODGE CHARGER LOWER ORDER - "DRIVE BIG"--
mormonism
trayvon
gun violence
healthcare expenses

FTA tv here is literally nothing but Australian or british tv shows. The only american stuff we get is big bang theory and the simpsons (repeats from years ago).

good band
no dismemberment plan

>inbetweeners and shameless were better than peep show

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going to the gym is a reddit normie meme. Imagine trying to fit in with the horror

Had a bit of a tough day lads I went to the opticians and they say I’m going to need glasses

soldier worship as 12th man

fuck I wish I lived in Harare. youtu.be/XVKFZVUZxWc

Annoys me how they think union Jack flaf is the England flag

t. skins fan

Poop Show was never good.

so does every white man eventually

get a nice expensive pair and it'll improve your overall look I reckon

Inbetweeners: Quintessential example of life as a working class teenager in Sixth Form
Peep Show: Quintessential example of Adult Life (from Mark's pov that is)

Nah Australia is more like UK. The ranking goes like this

UK
Ireland
New Zealand
Australia
Canada
USA

Top is msot like UK bottom is least

reckoned Skins was more on the money from an Australian perspective

Skins is for normies.
Most bongs I've met have been socially awkward pathetic worms like the four inbetweeners.

Think that's why I found it so funny. Will is LITERALLY me.

It's funny how often I've heard Brits moaning about how Australia is somehow becoming Americanized. Not clever Brits mind, usually they are triggered when I call it soccer and the conversation goes that way.

Australia is less like England, more like Dublin and Scotland.

the inbetweeners was way more true to life than skins

Yeah browsing different frames online now going to have to wear them all the time so it’s not the kind of decision you want to rush

Ireland is just Diet England

first four seasons were great. also, definitely on the money as a suburban kiwi teenager too.

As someone from England, Australia isn't very different at all. People here do behave slightly differently in some regards, but the kiwis are the same so I put it down to the colonial mentality.

Considering that a portion of Ireland is in the UK, I've no argument.

t. loner freaks

we were mashing house parties and railing gear every weekend, skins was defo more relatable than inbetweeners

I'm quite sure you've never had a conversation with anyone about that.

Are the 4 different parts of UK any different?

Been to South Wales didnt feel indifferent from England

guys, wanna here something funny?
Jacob Italiano
hahahahaahah

Win wars

lose weight

Wales isn't, neither is Ireland

I can't speak for the Scottish, I lived in the south of England

Win cricket world cup finals

*minds your tone*

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>Kane Williamson
>Technically sound
o i'm laffin!!!

literally who is that

I would know better than you whether I had or had not though, wouldn't you agree?

/cric/ is a non-normie general
normies go to /trans/

reddit: the post

Nobody on Yea Forums has a lifestyle like Skins

according to one of your fellow brits here he is the man with the funniest name in all of sports

>knowing you had to specify cricket world cup finals as we are a nation of champions
self own

inbetweeners wasn't that funny
relatable but not funny

based Kylie, got deep dicked by so many alphas, Michael Hutchinson, Nick Cave, Robbie Williams. She's a legitimate treasure
youtube.com/watch?v=FSJCSWWe2UE

Well fuck you I'm not rooting for you tomorrow anymore

>who is jamal blackman

>replying to Americans

Wayne Kerr, former Irish rugby league international.

might have sharted myself
more to come

North Wales they speak a different language in some towns, that's about it really

>'England's team is full of South Africans!!!' says the Kiwi.
>'But the New Zealand team has more Saffers in it than does England though', replies the Englishman.
>New Zealnder is shocked! Englishman rocks!
send to all indians

>becoming a Chinese colony

BASED
youtu.be/39zKhsT5naI

who?
Watling and Wagner aren't playing and de Big Man is from zimbo

Never been there but i get the vibe the Republic is more like England than the North

why do you all think your opinions on TV shows matter so much you reddit tier freaks

>munro (not in first XI)
>????

ni hao ching ping pong lee kum kee

gotta admit this is true lmao

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It started because one yank asked for British comedy recommendations and a Skins vs Inbetweeners debate started

twitter comedy is almost as bad as Instagram comedy

>be having
why do americans talk like this? god i fucking hate everything about america.

hah, that's literally me XDDD
minus the sex of course ;(

PUT IT IN ME ARSE LOVE
SHAG ME YA TWAT

americans think brits talk like stewie from family guy

>he's never seen 'Give me the facking towel'
It's like watching a female Joe Hart have sex

Ebonics.
America is a black country (and that's a good thing).

I just say those things whilst I'm wanking to make up for it

You should come visit. We've got hipster vegan cafes in Dublin somewhere, and comfy cricket grounds.

haha that is sooo british and just overall a great observation

alri bruv nans popped.off to the grocery want stick it up me growler

british rappers be like ‘shes sucking on my willy and its quite delightful come to west gloucestershire and you will catch the rifle’ lmaooo

Bloody dirty sod x

Especially with how many white chicks are breeding with black guys these days. Feels good to be black in USA right now

LOOOOLO WYIPIPO BE LIKE *PRONOUNCES WORDS CORRECTLY* AN SHEEEEIET

Wait, I can fix this.

what are you thinking... xx

Here UK is famous for:
Shakespeare
Beatles
Rolling Stones
Spice Girls
Harry Potter

Football and British comedy aren't as mainstream which is a shame.since I'm a big fan.

alright, what the actual fuck is wrong with yanks? it's actually impossible to have a conversation with one on the internet without them bringing up black guys having sex with white girls, they shoehorn it into any conversation at any opportunity they get. kinda creepy honestly, like their brains are rotted from porn.

this is better than that wank Let Forever Be clip

amazes me how everyone in america sees us as high class gentlemen yet everyone in europe sees us as barbaric savages and hates us because we get hammered beat up locals and trash cities haha

americans are absolutely sickening creatures. suppose that happens when your brain is pumped with hollywood bullshit 24/7

reckon the population of /afl/ went down by a third post-ban
two fantastic games of footy and 200 posts, just grim

All English accents sound the same to yanks. And English, Australian, Kiwi and South African accents sound the same to yanks as well.

Probably because lower class Brits dont really come here.

Either way UK ranks #1 in soft power so I guess the British have a good reputation overall.

>she's sucking on my willy and,
>it's really quite delightful
>come over to west Gloucestershire and, >you will catch the rifle

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It's because your neighbours know you better than some rando bloke in the next town over does.

Have you been to USA? Walk on a street and it's all you see.

*steams into you with an anglo headbutt*
how about that for some soft power

actually had multiple sceptics ask me if I was British

love how they'll say British too as if English accents sound remotely Scottish or as if they know Wales exists

I meant to post this song and film clip, boy I feel very silly
youtube.com/watch?v=63vqob-MljQ

Bruh here in America UK Britain England and London are all the same thing

soft power is what zachy calls his genitals

Not in the based South

BBC and the Queen too. Some British shows like Dr Who and Downtown Abbey

In the south it's all rednecks with mullets bum fucking each other in the streets

zachy on the ropes

Northern Ireland is rightfull British clay

Remember a few weeks ago when you all called me a cuck for my boss taking my ticket for the opening game?

I have two for the final.

i remember when arctic monkeys were a ‘thing’ and alex turner was the flavour of the year american lasses were creaming for my sheffield accent

Nah I like your country very much.

BASED

To be fair, soft spoken Australian sounds quite similar to southern English. Sometimes takes me a few seconds to realise

Dont remember them being popular here but I really hate One Direction

American girls always love Big Strong Foreigners and their Big Strong Accents

there's an actual thing where americans put on a british cadence to sound smart and adopt british vocabulary
granted, this is an extreme example (and for some reason, I find this idiot endearing and lovable) but it illustrates it quite well
youtu.be/sqYV-GLnxQU

Hollywood has so many Brits its crazy

Just now ·

THIS POST IS FOR THOSE WHO SAY, "VIRAT KOHLI CANNOT SOAK PRESSURE AND IS A WALKING WICKET IN KNOCKOUTS."

Let's dig deep..

96* vs Bangladesh in Champions Trophy 2017 Semi-Final.

T20 World Cup 2016
82* vs Australia in virtual Quarter-Final (high pressure game).
Steve Smith in the same match got out for 2.
89* vs West Indies in the Semi-Final.

41* in Asia Cup 2016 Final.

T20 World Cup 2014
72* vs South Africa in Semi-Final.
77 vs Sri Lanka in the Final.

43 vs England in Champions Trophy 2013 final. After rain the match got reduced to 20 overs per side. It was a low scoring game and Virat was the highest scorer of the match.

And then we have his knock of 35 against Sri Lanka in the 2011 World Cup final which is the least talked about. To most of you, 35 may sound average but only an intelligent cricket fan would know the importance of those 35 runs which came under immense pressure. No one talks about his 83 run stand with Gautam Gambhir after we lost both our legendary openers. That was actually the moving phase of the game. Virat Kohli was so young at that time still he absorbed pressure better than Sehwag and Sachin on that particular day.

I know this list consists mostly T20 knocks, but here I'm talking about knockouts. Be it in ODIs or be it in T20s. Yes, he hasn't scored much runs in 50 over tournament knockouts but it's not right to judge him just on those failures.

i used to notice it when i was a gamer, played with a group of 5 americans and they started pronouncing certain words with a slight english accent subconsciously. even started using some of our sayings which was rough on the old ears

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...

yo a more flow than the Thames
word knowledge like oxbridge
a tributary
yeah I give tributes many
drop loads
see them them all go to sea man
OshKosh B'gosh South on Sea An

>The Indian Brendan McCullum

*surreptituously raises my gun fingers to the air*

Fuck off, vile Scotcuck.

The best version of Britain
youtube.com/watch?v=6jQ_bOP0HfY

but brendon mcullum scored 59 with a 220 strike rate in the south african semi

tell me about this
youtu.be/GVYpM3RTCII

think fina is giving my gyno. hard to say though because ive also put on weight. how can you tell the different between gyno and just being a fat cunt?

thinking about the opening four balls of the 2015 cricket world cup

love this video

Their girls are hot

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They jinxed it and now defeat looms

can you milk them la?

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they've gone and done it again lads

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no my nipples just seem puffy. i'm not close to being a fatcunt like you.

lol thought the rules were in effect

shall be shitposting here tomorrow

Absolutely based trolling

Imagine the state of Yea Forums if they lose again

Oh NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO is Bane dumb?

God save the Queen vs God defend New Zealand

BASED

Is it just me or does this come off as desperate?

should see the 2015 edition mate

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English girls are ugly in comparison

So many ass holes I'd love to lick desu

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They jinxed it

>poopeeland
Oh nonononononono

I swear it's that one seething Scotfaggot again.

Is Michael Clarke /our guy/

Attached: 1535794907004.jpg (499x767, 57K)

hmm

Hmm how do I get an eyebrows gf? Have one at work but she's muzz.

;_;

Scots are worst posters on here besides us.

Australia the best

All other test nations should prepare thier ass holes now for when they get TOPPED by big glorious Irish penis

Morgan is English

Shes an Indian mutt

Can't jinx it because he's not English

>cricket's going to get cut off on Channel 4 for the F1
Honestly who the fuck still watches that

Accept Islam and ask her to marry you

imagine her eyebrows going as you lick her clit

Wonder if they're into black guys

Where is the clit though

Yeah I know. I'm talking about Ireland test team

only person I know who follows it is quite literally daniel ricciardo's cousin

Hey dumbarse, do you know how I know you're not an Irishman?

Yeah but he's making celebration threads.
It's pretty obvious what he's going for.

dunno mate it's essentially a theoretical concept to me right now

wait, just so in understand: the cricket world cup is moving to FTA, and the channel is channel 4, but it'll be cut when the f1 is on. Where does it move to?

more important question is why the fuck was the final not yesterday so the F1 issue could be avoided

yup this as well. the ICC is fucking braindead i swear

A channel 4 side channel (more4)

Very good question.

good question lad x

More 4
Which is I don't even know what channel

oh, that happens here too. cricket moves to gem during the news then back to 9 after the news is over
still retarded that they'd schedule it on the same day as the f1 tho i reckon

I have followed it one and off, but the last couple of years, and this one in particular, have been absolute fucking snorefests. Even by the usual F1 standards.

It's the British GP which is one of very few FTA grand prix.
Basically sport broadcasting in the UK is dire.

Oh, ok grand. Trying to think of some good snacks and grub to get in for tomorrow, English and New Zealand cricket themed, any ideas?

Does the local pub show it?

118 on my virgin box

Pubs are haram

lamingtons and anzac biscuits if you've got any in shops there

here sport is usually on the secondary channels in the first place.
footy is usually on 7mate (7 being the main channel)
f1 is on one (10 being the main channel)
nrl / cricket on gem (9 being the main channel)
etc

F1 is as dull as dishwater. Absolutely no personalities to make it interesting either

last race was fucking kino, the rest of this season has been so pathetically boring i've not watched anything more than the first lap of each race. feel bad because my old man's a big f1 fan and i like to watch with him

Infuzions prawn crackers

>British GP
>Wimbledon Final
>Cricket WC final

Quality scheduling as always

Alhamdulillah my friend
Hmm interesting poodiction

Haven't seen either of those here, but tesco does sell vegemite but kiwis prefer marmite which they also have but it's english. Marmite and butter on hot scones maybe?

genuine question because this is bothering me, how do you tell the difference between gyno and manboobs from simply being a bit overweight?

Big fan of punters hair transplant

I can get skips

Has it come home yet lads?

ability to milk them = gyno
no ability = bog standard fatcunt
nowt complicated
simple as
x

Ask and please link the thread here so I can have a laugh

this is incredibly cute I hope you enjoy yourself

i would but i dont want to cop a 3-dayer right before the final. dont have dynamic IP either.

what does this even mean you spastic cunt

I watched the first two laps, but obviously watching England tame the poos that day. Had heard it was good.
By all accounts the one before was one of the worst races of all time.

That's right panjeesha, you should start preparing your anus now

the dinner

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the first few laps were okay, but it was the last few that were truly kino. i switched back to the cricket after the first few and it was only because someone mentioned in this thread how good the race was getting that I changed back. First time i can remember first place being contested right until the final lap. but yeah f1 has been dogshit for a long time now.

could be good

just don't put too much on and only put it on over a layer of butter. you need to work up to higher quantities, and even then you don't have much of the stuff at all. it's very strong

Looks good

what am I looking at
reckon I'd enjoy it but not sure what it is

explain la x

>hey! it's me Brian Cox! i'm smart because i"m on the telly yeah? don't question a single word I say.

Attached: brian-cox_wanker of the universe.jpg (1857x1081, 324K)

it's a mixture of scampi and fish fingers with baked potato and veg

Might get a chinky tonight.

I got you bro, I think you're being paranoid but no matter

physics? me?? rather watch one of Royal Society talk on the subject
youtu.be/zNVQfWC_evg
x

lads.

Attached: rainlooms.png (1810x812, 156K)

Yeah, I know but I'll be right. I can literally eat it off a spoon.

thanks la

I like it. This cross board stuff is comfy

*be's going to be to watch some anime then rest up before a big day of cricket tomorrow*

holy gosh darn cringe!

you've just linked to a post from 2014 about a milwall fan making a little girl cry mate

...

never watched a single anime
proud of it

Not even Space Dandy?

It's almost impressive how boring they've managed to make F1.

And this is coming from a cricket fan.

no
well I've watched some pokemon, some dragon ball z and some shin chan, but those dont really count as anime in my reckoning

but they wanna bring back refuelling which will totally fix everything!

could never see the appeal

I used to watch F1 but my Dad was into all motorsports when I was little so it rubbed off on me, getting up before dawn and going to races and stuff, also getting all your shit done early on a Sunday so you can kick back and watch the race.
I still like it but haven't followed F1 for probably 5 years by now.

girl I talked to a few weeks back is heavily into f1. told her how it isn't even a sport and it's shit. so im thinking im based

Literally me.

I tried to get into it a while ago because it has the ingredients for a true spectacle: world-class engineering, danger to life, glamorous locations and people. But then you sit and watch it and it's mostly a turgid affair and then Mercedes win.

Went to an Irish pub here to watch footy once and it was full of F1 ones wearing their team shirts and shit. I respect that they're into it but supporting Red Bull or whatever just seems so inorganic.

Support the drivers, not the teams which are all just corporations & brands possibly except for the few private teams. Unless you're Italian and then Ferrari, but yeah, there's a fine line there.
I'd say if you're Spanish you just support your Spanish drivers, if they change teams you go with them, it sounds strange but the teams don't deserve loyalty, no more than say McDonald's vs Burger King.

I loved F1 as a kid, back end of the Senna/Prost (& Mansell) era and on through the 90s.
These days the cars are too good. Nothing ever breaks, and aerodynamics are so finely tuned they can't get close to eachother and rely on meme shit like DRS to have even a semblance of racing.
And always having a single dominant team for long stretches just kills any excitement from competition.

British Touring Cars are on FTA so I sometimes watch that. When I was a kid I used to love rallycross because it was so amateurish, everyone got covered in mud and nobody cared who won. They've even managed to ruin that now by making it professional.

Is there a large crossover between the F1, Tennis and Cricket fan bases in the UK?

Add rugby union to that.
Sure I understand. I'm British and supported Hamilton when he was coming through but it's ended up being boring he wins so much.

F1 and Tennis, sure. Cricket not really.

tennis and cricket are both middle class sports

youtu.be/ZYAPgPH9hsI
CWC Final—NZ vs. ENG—The Theme Song

...

why does every cricket video uploaded by an indian have some irritating music blasting over it for no apparent reason

there is NO exception to this

>MGR
>Yea Forums

For me it's Dhoni whispering to his bat.
>youtube.com/watch?v=TxI1cPi1TIw

reckon it's to make chopping it up and reuploading it harder. seems to be the underlying theme of virtually everything indians do online. like how facey rolled out that "profile pic protection" shit (that just makes it slightly more annoying to save someone's profile pic and make a fake profile with it)

reckon australia might struggle to win the world cup given the current set of circumstances

The fact that they lost the semi being of paramount concern la

reckon it's hard to sandpaper a loss out of the record books ay

straffo loves F1, amongst other things.

Since the final is on FTA tomorrow it would mean the non-England UK countries will probably go ABE and support NZ if they even bothered to watch

I shall have a sensible chuckle however as Wales is technically represented by England (England and Wales Cricket Board) so they'd technically be barracking against themselves

Pretty sure the Welsh cricket followers are aware that it's their team too.
Don't worry though, if NZ wins England lose and if England wins it's purely because of one Irishman.

might have a cheeky wank lads

just ate sushi and I can happily say I've mastered the use of chopsticks
just another skill to add to my repertoire

...

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what other skills do you possess la

Hello Paki

>bald
>puffy nipples
>australian
wew lad, would not wanna be you

couple of days ago I ate a kfc party bucket all by myself. at least 7000 kcal in that meal. it was a single sitting after I had eaten at mcdonalds earlier that day and had drank some beers

You might be American, go get that checked out mate

flippin ell lad

back when I was an alcie I found it was wine that gave me a super appetite. Could down so much food that normally wasn't possible. Beer and cider though was too filling

Glad I managed to quit that and lose a ton of weight since desu, dark days.

thing is I'm not a fat fuck tho which makes it impressive

Consider switching to non-alcoholic beer. You can't drink as many but you'll still get the munchies and the relaxation.

I have had non-alcoholic beer when I was in jordan, it was aight I guess
I dont drink a lot but I went to a graduation party of a mate of mine and there was an open bar so I had to drink a few

aren't NA beers actually like 0.5% abv or something?

They can be

Hence the immediate need to laugh long and loud at them.

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blog on

You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. I wager you couldn't empty a boot of excrement were the instructions on the heel. You are a canker. A sore that won't go away. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you. Try to edit your responses of unnecessary material before attempting to impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will still be available to readers, but they will be able to access it more rapidly.

You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood. May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs. You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus.

And what meaning do you expect your delusional self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have to us who think and reason? What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake? You are a waste of flesh.

You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile one-handed slack-jawed , drooling meatslapper. You smarmy lagerlout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off, pillock. You grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john. You clouted boggish foot-licking twit. You dankish clack-dish plonker. You gormless crook-pated tosser. You churlish boil-brained clotpole ponce. You cockered bum-bailey poofter. You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb. You dread-bolted fobbing beef-witted clapper-clawed flirt-gill.

where can i find a stream for tomorrow's match?

yikes that's definitely cringe from me

probably be one on the insect enthusiasts subreddit, they have a thread where all the posts will be removed, but if you replace the link with ceddit instead of reddit you can see them all and there's usually an acestream there for HD viewing

open your mouth and you'll get a stream

Was just rewatching the nz v india semi
really a superb match, one of the best odis I've seen, kept you guessing right until the end

Imagine if England lose. How do you handle the banter after that?

kept you guessing right until India was 24/4 after 10 overs

I was watching it live and there were several points where I thought India might do it

We still believe
We still believe
We still believe

Not arsed about cricket so don't bother talking to me about it

it'd be rather ironic when peak NZ lost the previous WC and then a rather underperforming NZ this world cup somehow just strolled in and won the whole thing

Who is going to banter you? There aren't any kiwis to do it, we fucked the Aussies, and who cares what poopeople think about anything?

the only moment I started believing India even had a sliver of hope was after Dhoni hit that six but he was run out immediately after so that lasted about a minute

Start talking about footy transfer gossip and pretend I think cricket is for poofs.

Only Scotland is different really. You can't tell the difference between England, Wales and Northern Ireland.
Also Ireland is nearly identical to England too but they'd never admit it.

well shit lads they have us sussed

The majority of the Welsh and lowland Scots are just English anyway.

Yea Forums never misses a chance to laugh at England. Also Australians will be at the forefront of it all

Do white people really eat their peas one by one using a fork?? JFC

Oh, right, on Yea Forums. White noise then, really.

>yet everyone in europe sees us as barbaric savages and hates us because we get hammered beat up locals and trash cities haha
tbf they've thought of us that way for thousands of years now

ytpipo be lyke.. a spoonful of peas? too spicy for me!

grim, barebones cooking

no we use our fork to spoon it up

CHAD

mashed peas are a traditional British side aren't they?

>Kploanyi
jesus, looks like somebody slammed a hand on their keyboard

>grim, barebones cooking

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No.

>*steams into you with an anglo headbutt*
that you boris lad?

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all "traditional" british dishes are in fact rarely eaten here and more of a meme

mushy peas are very much still eaten

When you're wounded and left on Lord's Cricket Ground plains,
And the Kiwis come out to cut up what remains,
Jest roll to your bat and smash out your brains
An' go to your Gawd like a soldier.
Go, go, go like a soldier,
Go, go, go like a soldier,
Go, go, go like a soldier,
Soldier of the Queen!

Just did a big poo ladies

Haha clever.

12 more hours and you will again

This is the post
Cringe

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He said mashed. That's more the type of faggot shit you'd see on Masterchef.

to any britisher or poo peelander here. would you suck dick if it were to guarantee the cup victory?
you have to give it a proper chupa for a good 60 seconds. the penis is clean and of average size (or bigger if you prefer), no venereal diseases. nobody will ever find out.

Claim that cricket is a gay sport that nobody cares about

true patriot

>clean pp
No Briton will touch it unless there’s cheese.

>Also Australians will be at the forefront of it all
They can try.

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I reckon Kohli has sucked a lot of dicks to get India an advantage but still shit the bed

bigger the better m8

mashed means mushy in burgerspeak also it's the same fucking thing don't act retarded

Can you drill holes in your bat so you can swing it faster?

was triggered by

aha nah mate thats weird. hmm, maybe I'll lick it... Ok I'll do it

when are bats going to be made of composite materials

No, also why? Respect your willow mate

think the old kookaburras had graphite backing which they banned

alchy locks is a fat fuck and browses reddit

Traditional mushy peas literally aren't mashed, though.

Thank you for defending me Ireland

Burgers for lunch on the cards

Yeah, I know. Also jam isn't jelly and chips are hot chips in Australia. Fucking Public Schools are Private.

>o look, oi have blocked your flag and I can't see your post
pathetic. we all KNOW you are reading this poopee

Reduce wind resistance. Like a paddle for spanking children.

Can you turn your bat sideways to get less wind resistance?

There was that one time they Lillee use an aluminum bat. youtu.be/7Pak_0L3rhc

kek wat a drama queen

give us a kiss love x

I wonder if there are actually any pro cricketers browsing Yea Forums

>aluminum

fuck up kiwi nonce
clean my feces fucking serf castaway
cuck

Thank God the street shitters are out.

it's a hug dummy

now all that's left to kick out is your racism

ha, they had you in the group stages

drilled holes into ur mum's vagina m8

>the group stages where we were the only team India lost to

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>triggers billions of pajeets
Is she /ourgal/?

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I have it on good authority Ian Bell is a /cric/ regular

no you don't, be quiet

she is your girl indeed until you go clubbing with your mates one day and she drunkingly comes up to you and starts groping at your crotch area and kissing you, so you take her outside of the club and finger here there. the day after she screams rape and everyone believes her since she's a woman. you go to jail and get your life ruined. won't be laughing then.

On the highest authority in fact

We really need to get Warnie posting here. When the fuck is his son streaming again?

haha

If Ian Bell was a vintage meme he'd be Ian Lel

I put my soul and effort into coming up with a thought-provoking Gedankenexperiment and this is your response? bit cringe

Warnie is a busy man so I imagine he just lurks and laughs at the memes

Just fucking imagine the memes when Boris and Trump team up to dab on the EU

I'm laughing with you not at you

oh...*blushes*

Imagine the unit of an AMA he could do though. Especially if he got that verified capcode. According to the archive there’ve never been any verified posters on Yea Forums. We need /cric/ to be the first.

Worst time of the day for /cric/. Can't wait for NZ time and the match to start so all of you cazzie blow ins piss off

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Remember when NZ stinked up their group

guarantee you i am more attuned with the game than you will ever be poopee

>call /cric/ regulars blow-ins
>don’t call kiwis that’ll only be here for the final, at least until work calls, blow-ins
SNAP
Yep. That one’s going in my cringe compilation.

Engpakis lose their 4(FOURTH) Cricket World Cup Final tomorrow lads, cannot WAIT for this. Absolutely shivering with orgasmic delight to see Engpakis btfo at HOME of all places lmao. Fucking STATE of Engpakistan ''''country''''.

Did internet got cut off in whole India? Can anyone confirm?

>wats a strategic loss
>dhoni giving up that easily
expected more of you tbqh

Yes, it's 3am in the morning

sad picture into the obsessive ABE mind of scottish "people"

>Engpaki speaks back to a people who are whiter, more religious (Christian, not Muslim) and have better culture which isn't just red painted French
I'll be enjoying your seethe come tomorrow when Engpakistan lose.

Keep reading kiwi posts
Keep talking about kiwis
Keep thinking about kiwis
Keep seething about kiwis
Keep being jealous of kiwis
Keep watching kiwi cricket

This is your life now

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Imagine unironically being a Scotsman, Welshman, or Irishman.

Or being Manx for that matter... Yikes.

im beached iz

Ian?

>celts are white
>celts are whiter than anglos

>Manx
Literally exists as a tax haven and to piss off the Irish. I wish it was fully incorporated.

Even if England win, it'll only be due to the influence of Bmac. So it's a New Zealand victory either way.

Why would anyone be ashamed of being Welsh when we are going to win the only World Cup that matters latter this year?

clean my feces you swine

Not sure why this Scotch is looking for attention. No one in England considers you a rival or equal.

>muh english/welsh/scottish/irish
don't want to step on anyone's toes here but to anyone outside of the islands it's the same thing
>b-but the rest of the world doesn't matter
okay

Imagine unironically believing it’s ever not shameful to be a thieving Welshman. You might as well be a Gypsy.

who are they la x

We'll be cleaning them up from lords later today

Grim weather here lads. Cat got scared by the lightning and ran away

>the virgin pussy
>the chad doggo

Sorry to hear that he’ll probably just hide out somewhere out of the rain and come back when he’s hungry

eh at least the welsh helped trigger the scots during the referendum. makes them at least marginally better

I personally do rate thieves above barbarians given at least thieves are part of civilization. Celts are just barbarians. And much shittier barbarians than Gauls.

good OP, well done my swarthy friend.

>tournament which has taken in 11 venues across England and Wales and been watched by more than 675m people worldwide.

in Welly?

Better not wake up tomorrow and see Ali on the team sheet.
I WILL be throwing bits of bacon at the next brown person I see if he is.

Enjoy prison. 1984world doesn't allow that kind of thing.

USA

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t.scotland
You simply aren't in any position to talk lad.

T.Works at the greasy spoon cafe next to a Seikh community centre

What? I'm not from Scotland, just telling you how it is.

>no replies
THIS is what I don't understand
>extend an olive branch
>get pissed on in return
'ate 'em la
fucking 'ate the lot of 'em

OHNONONONONONONONONOHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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if you did that to me I'd cave your skull in

She is back and soaking wet. Locked the cat door.

Yeah there was one really big lightning and she bolted

kek

Glad she’s back safe lad

It's 3.30 am here plus Yea Forums b& all mobile IPs(95% of people use LTE as it's super cheap) as the mods got butthurt over pajeets shitposting whiteboi and bbc spam on /pol/ with those IPs. You could just switch to airplane mode and back to get a new IP so the shitposting was impossible to stop

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my mate in Poorirua sent pics, looks pretty wild

Scottish people are literally the saddest people ever.

Perfect cricket conditions looms.

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think there's gonna be some bad news for you around 8 or 9pm lad.

Wonder what ratings it'll get. 100m?

Gonna start raining in a couple of hours though.

Grim that England has to lose again, but, always the bribes maid never the bride.

tomorrow
>cricket from the morning until dinner time
>wimbledon final during the second innings
>might even watch some cocksoccer in the evening (AFCON semis)
holy friggen comfy bro's.. peak timezone

Brown hands typed that

stream for Wimbledon la x

it's on 2 different free channels on the telly here, dont need to find a stream x

Boris is basically British Trump

>bribes maid
kek

seriously though mate, have a bit of heart for fucks sakes. you can literally WILL your lads to win.

>trump is basically american boris
ftfy

>your lads
This would imply he's English.
Hint: he isn't.

k x

Fair enough. How do you feel about Trump claiming to be the most British president in history?

World Cup followed by an Ashes series with a duke ball and greentops

absolute kino summer of cricket ladsd

>How do you feel about Trump claiming to be the most British president in history?
Excuse me?

He recently said before his UK trip he is the most British president because his mother was a Scot

>American wants to be British
He’s hardly unique

Boris isn't anywhere near as retarded as Trump

He's a shameless populist for sure but when it comes to the crunch he's nowhere the same

guys I just thought of a joke
>If England-Australia is called the Ashes, England-Pakistan should be called the Acid
spread it please my loves x

new

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Spot on ranking mate. The weather alone makes NZ more British than Australia

Hey, his words not mine.

took me a minute la, but it's sheer GENIUS x

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unfunny.

Grim
My gimmick is that the women's ashes should be called "The Arses". We all admire fine English and Australian women's behinds.

my dad joked about how much better south africa were before they had a bunch of knickers larping as cricketers

Trump is a full blown kike puppet who panders to retards and boomers, while not fulfilling any of his promises

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And Boris isn't?

fuck off you piece of shit you've been hating on me since day 1, its time we duke it out

i feel like he's a retard who forgot that most of your early presidents were pretty much just british. hell washington even served (badly) in the british army

i'd take your head off you dumb moozie clown

George Washington literally was British citizen at one point

I don't know about Boris

>Trump was raised by a Scottish woman
Explains everything

Is Modi? Genuine question

I genuinely don't know. He's the only pro-Hindu candidate so people vote for him. Guess we'll find out

Hes very supportive of Israel

He's kind of neutral in that aspect. He's pro two state solution.

Seeing England win will be based. Although I would have preferred Australia, the world cup should remain in select elite hands.

Sounds easy enough to test, then. Have any previous presidents had any closer links?

>Wins another "world" series

Be sure it's vegan bacon and you'll antagonize nobody, maybe you'll get a free stay at the mental home.

they normally only talk about muh Irish roots