/bundes/

>Er war damals Polizist und wusste somit genau, welches Gehalt er in seinem restlichen Leben verdienen wird
Kemme eternally btfo once again.

Could I realistically get tickets for Köln - Dortmund or is it just not happening?

> Amerixcans

kohlchan.net/.media/cc53e0cc494e69d0545b6a001e691cb8-videomp4.mp4/dl/Disneyland CoonTown.mp4

lmao

Youd have to be a registered member of FCKöln to be in the first "pool", but Im sure that youd be in the end of the priority. Usually they first 1-3 days tickets are available to the members, but big games are sold out within the first 2hours when the high priority fans get dibs.

Good luck.

>Ungeachtet namhafter Zugänge wie Julian Brandt (Bayer Leverkusen), Nico Schulz (1899 Hoffenheim) und Thorgan Hazard (Borussia Mönchengladbach), die erst später zur Mannschaft stoßen, ist Hummels die größte neue Attraktion im Kader. Jeder seiner Schritte wurde am Freitag bei der ersten medienöffentlichen Einheit von zahlreichen Kameras verfolgt. „Für mich ist Mats der beste deutsche Innenverteidiger“, schwärmte Sportdirektor Michael Zorc.

Respektlos

people who should be permabanned
- that ami /pol/baby
- that retarded bauernösi
- all those other virgin basementbabies from /deutsch/ crossposting

also 14h kovac PK, surprise granaten announcement from uli incoming, they got the double deal: dembele and sané

actually based

qrd on benni henrichs? is he a granate?

lel brazzo truly well versed in deal making

very unrealistic even if you’re a member of köln or bvb.

>spox.com/de/sport/fussball/bundesliga/fc-bayern/1907/Artikel/fc-bayern-pk-niko-kovac-fiete-arp-im-live-ticker.html
Oh theyre just presenting Arp. I was hoping for some Granätchen like Henrichs or Ünder so the memes can continue.

this, kalle just yesterday said that süle was the best

Ja stimm ich dir zu Brudi uezs
Lol und jetzt warten wir mal auf die Granaten von heute was? xD

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I thought Hernandez and or Pavard were the best?

>HAVERTZ „Ich vermisse Brandt“
Come to Borussia *bang* *bang*

> Rückschlag für den FC Bayern: Laut italienischen Medien war der deutsche Meister an einer Verpflichtung des 17-jährigen Italieners Lorenzo Pirola von Inter Mailand interessiert. Allerdings holten sich die Bayern eine Absage ab.

OH NO NO NO!

Dont give me hope user...

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süle is the best german cb, kalle said. hernandez the best ever in the buli

Jolle :D

damn, they really are scraping the barrel

>Ich vermisse Brandt“
homokusen

hmmm homoküssen
:3

Ich... möchte... Granaten.... sehen....

uli, is that you?

Ich auch Brudi

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>posting age old /deutsch/memes
just have sex, ösi, pls
it’s embarassing, really

ULI LEAVE THEM ALONE, THEY HAVE BARELY RECOVERED FROM WHAT YOU DID TO THEIR BIKES

Was willst du Brudi

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what did he do to their bikes?

Hallo wo sind die Granaten

ja
WO SIND DIE VERDAMMTEN GRANATEN AAAHAAAAAHAHAHHAAHHHHHHHHH

>still no granaten
>just fiete arp
being a bauer must be suffering these days

Hat bestimmt der Rainer gefressen die fette Sau

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looks like the average schluchtenscheisser

how do uli and kalle make it out of bed in the morning these days?

>Subway
Literally the worst franchising model in the world, putting all the risk in the hands of the franchisee.

true, but i don’t think guys like jonas hofmann care. it isn’t his real job and he got enough money to compensate for everything. if they were clever they made a gmbh to be the franchisenehmer. no biggie

Würstchen im Schlafrock

This PK is pretty cringy. Im out.

>actually watching
retard bauern baby

DIE HAM HIER AH RIESICHE GRANATEN NEIGSCHMAAST

fuck off /deutsch/babies, der drache war nie lustig und wenn ihr euch im spiegel anschaut, dann seht ihr doch genau so aus

yeah no I don't, at all, actually

have sex

>"Bei Leroy weiß ich nicht, wie schnell es gehen wird. Der Markt muss erstmal loslegen. Wir werden schauen, wie es ausschaut. Klar, man muss schon zusehen. Letztes Jahr hatten wir 19 Feldspieler und viele Verletzungen. Bei der Belastung, den wir haben, musst du als Trainer immer vom Worst-Case ausgehen. Wir werden wieder die Gejagten sein. Die Kadergröße im letzten Jahr brauchen wir. Wir haben junge Spieler, aber bei denen kann man nicht sofort ausgehen, dass sie performen. Wir brauchen 3, 4 junge Spieler. Das haben wir soweit kommuniziert. Mit 17 Mann wird es nicht reichen."

Ey Loide die Bayern alda lol

>der markt muss erstmal loslegen
so, they really have no plan other than hoping
based bauern

Meddl Loide

>Pressetext über die Bayern oder darüber was Uli letzte Woche Mittwoch zum Frühstück gegessen hat
LOL

KICKER JUST SAID THE DEMBELE DEAL IS AS GOOD AS CLOSED. HET IN HERE ITS ACTUALLY HAPP NING,!!

Say what you want about Uli, but these are pretty based tbqh

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ALDA ES IST WAHR, KOMMT REIN HIER JUNGS!
GRANATE
GRANATE
GRANATE

>Angeblich in trockenen Tüchern ist der Transfer von Ousmane Dembele zu den Münchnern. Der Franzose soll für rund 90 Millionen Euro an die Säbener Straße wechseln.

Transferkracher: Millionen-Wechsel von Ousmane Dembélé zum FC Bayern fix | Fußball - tz
Nach langem Hin- und Her soll der Wechsel von Ousmane Dembélé von Barcelona nach München nun fix sein. Offenbar konnten oder wollten die Verantwortlichen beim deutschen Rekordmeister nicht länger auf eine Freigabe des deutschen Nationalspielers Leroy Sané durch Manchester warten. Gut verständlich - immerhin lastet seit den mittlerweile berüchtigten Worten Uli Hoeneß vor einigen Wochen großer Erwartungsdruck auf Brazzo und Co. Trainer Niko Kovac wird zufrieden sein, immerhin hatte er noch Bedarf an 3 bis 4 Spielern angemeldet. Einer ist nun wohl auf dem Weg.

ITS HAPPENING AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

OMG OMG DIE GRANATE IST HIER OMG OMG

BASED FUCKING BASED
GRANATE INCOMING
PRAISE ULI
PRAISE KALLE
FUCK SHAREHOLDERS
NO TITLE FOR YOU AGAIN

Pic related is Kalles favorite show.

And here is Kalles favorite song:

youtube.com/watch?v=UJtB55MaoD0

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say what you want about kalle - he just closed dembele
yeah, i think he’s based

Do you guys know about rice and meatballs in Curry sauce or is it strictly a Danish thing?

this is off topic duck off

I like curry bratwurst

>Der Hansi ist ein qualitativ hochwertiger Mensch.

kek, Kovac must really like Hansi Flick.

kek

it’s a nice thing to say for a stoffel like kovac

Fuck Kovac

>Drachenzoomer ösi is also the autistic customer
not the most shocking revelation

domino day *sips* now THAT was autistic entertainment

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Scheise Brudi

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>focus.de/sport/fussball/bundesliga1/focus-online-beim-fc-bayern-frankreich-insider-verraet-ousmane-dembele-kommt-und-fuehrt-bayern-in-europas-spitze_id_10910419.html

yeah, i think you shareholders all feel pretty silly now lmao

alter ist der jogi nazi?!?!!?

give me nudes of Carolin Blüchel thanks

god tier journalism

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Moin,

Jau.. kommt sehr symathisch und professionell rüber.. Tja, scheint so, als hätte PSG, wenn Sie Neymar, jr. nicht verkaufen, nicht allzu viel Budget für große Transfairs in dieser Phase ..
Wer könnte IHN denn kaufen (wollen) ?! Hmm.. ManCity oder Barca?! An Liverpool glaub ich weniger..
ManCity? dann wäre der Weg für Sanè Richtung München geebnet .. Barca? Hmm.. Griezmann angeblich ja auch zzgl denen die schon da auf den Flügeln spielen .. Coutinho, Malcolm, Dembele, Messi ..
Beide?! Eher unwahrscheinlich.. Glaub Kalle R aus M hat nicht so ganz unrecht mit seiner Aussage (...)
"wenn der erste Dominostein fällt, folgen automatisch weitere .."
Abwarten .. habe fertICH ..
• • •

O. Kahn

F. Beckenbauer G. Schwarzenbeck
Ph. Lahm D. Alaba
B. Schweinsteiger L. Matthäus P. Breitner
M. Basler K.H. Rummenigge
G. Müller

>"ist mein Bauchgefühl"
what would we do without experts

what are those glitzerkapseln for? for glittery shit?? for glittery vaginal discharge??

that's a really really nice ass desu

This would be the greatest thing that could ever happen to the BL. Imagine the weekly FC Hollywood memes about him trashing some villa. This is Breno 2.0. God let this be true.

nah, m8, uli has a way to tame rowdy french intellectual underclass. just look at ribery

he’s following the way of the domino. intellectually first class

OH NONONONO!! Dembele is fake news. Buyern BTFO

still don't know why Dembele would go to a club where he has to pay 100k € a day.

>implying Bayern gifting Dortmund another 20m for the literal messi Dembele wouldn't be top comedy

NOOOOOOOOOO! WE WERE BESCHISSEN WORDEN! ANZEIGE IS RAUS!

does bayern have ps4?

no only alien ware PC with LOL and Dota, no fortnite allowed.

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the dembele deal is off then

Wearing winter clothes now in mid July. Thanks to Greter Klimawandel.

Steffen (american GK #1) on loan to Düsseldorf

hello, i can’t tell you who i am but let’s just say that i’m an insider with a lot of connections regarding football transfers etc. i know a lot of important people all over europe, just sayin.
dembele won’t come to bayern.
sané won’t come to bayern.
uli will soon say goodbye to anything football related, bayern officials hate him nowadays. because of his schnellschüsse he has no support anymore.
bayern will announce henrichs tomorrow. schürrle next week.
screen cap you heard it here first

fuck off to /deutsch/ you’re retarded personal blog posts aren’t sport related

>Henrichs to Bayern
This makes absolute no sense, but I want to believe.

>sun and 10°C

you're talking too much about this /deutsch/ thing, what is your problem?

the bundesliga really is suffering from the fact that no other "top" club can get their shit together for even one season. wtf is wrong with german league football, why is it so shit?

>Rosenborgwinslmao

Probably because Bayern keeps buying their best players. This summer is probably the first summer in 20 years, where Bayern didnt buy the best player from a club that did well last season. Players like Jovic, Sancho, Werner, Brandt... would usually end up at Bayern, but not anymore. The Bundes will become irrelevant in Europe the next few years, but the league will become an open race between the top 3-4.

Probably because Bayern is simply so much better than the other teams. They keep crying because Bayern buys 1 player from another Bundesliga club per season but that really only shows their small club loser mentality. With several years of Bayern absolutely dominating the league the other clubs have fully accepted and internalized this loser mentality, so they will always stay small.

>This summer is probably the first summer in 20 years
yeah, instead they did the verbal agreement to run down the contract shit instead.

and they still have time to get a customary striker to just sit on the bench and watch lewa

Yeah, but Jovic and Sancho are the standout players of last season. Werner is good, but not league-breaking.

>schürrle next week.
There will be a customer uprising if that happens.

What they gonna do? Write "KOAN SCHÜRRLE" on their Klatschpappen?

Based if it happens
>Havertz didn’t take the number 10

hello hello pls read my blog ty
>auswärts am 30.07, englische Woche
>could reach the stadium going there directly after work if I take the 1st train
>arrive back home too late to be fit for work the next day
>difficult to get Urlaub ._.
wat do
yellow Schein or ask Boss bitte bitte need to travel auswärts?

btw >inb4 Auto
you are aware that beer exists, right?

>Mats Hummels' wife Cathy responded to Kovač's statement on Instagram with two duck emojis, which means the statement is not true [Bild]

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he fled from his dad

>- that retarded bauernösi
Which one

it's probably because he got raped by his uncle as a little kid

My mum works at the customer callcenter and she just told me that Bayern is about to sign lewis Holtby.

finally
I've been waiting 8 years for this
now for rene adler

now food yes

GRANATEN CONFIRMED!

Is she a /bundes/ regular?

yes

she's

this lack of autosage is making me uncomfortable

>90min.com/posts/6407593-exclusive-leroy-sane-open-to-joining-bayern-munich-as-man-city-set-asking-price
Could it be happening? Is there a detonation in the near future?

CHO: 60%
Sane: 50%
Dumbele: 10%

Could be happenin? Is granate blow off soon?

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19:09 Echte Liebe

GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

CHO is dead for the foreseeable future, Achilles tears are a shitty injury and Bayern need depth now, not some time in November

>CHO: 60%

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>anything but bild as a source for German players
into le trash it goes

Not to mention that their plan with CHO is to get him on a free next summer.

what is Bild's take then?

nothing because that's what bayern have ligned up at the moment

>Transferkracher: Millionen-Wechsel von André Schürrle zum FC Bayern fix | Fußball - tz
Nach langem Hin- und Her soll der Wechsel von André Schürrle von Borussia Dortmund nach München nun fix sein. Offenbar konnten oder wollten die Verantwortlichen beim deutschen Rekordmeister nicht länger auf eine Freigabe des deutschen Nationalspielers Leroy Sané durch Manchester warten. Gut verständlich - immerhin lastet seit den mittlerweile berüchtigten Worten Uli Hoeneß vor einigen Wochen großer Erwartungsdruck auf Brazzo und Co. Trainer Niko Kovac wird zufrieden sein, immerhin hatte er noch Bedarf an 3 bis 4 Spielern angemeldet. Einer ist nun wohl auf dem Weg.

IT'S HAPPENING /BUNDES/ WAS RIGHT AGAIN

now masterbeeren

Bayern no buy player, Bayern bad

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Well Bild said that theyre "looking into plac C" with Bergwijn.

they're bad with or without new players. not even B tier in europe.

>Nach dem Fehlstart in der Bundesliga soll der niederländische Nationalspieler Arjen Robben seinem Landsmann Louis van Gaal und dem FC Bayern München aus der Klemme helfen. Der 25 Jahre alte offensive Mittelfeldspieler steht vor einem Millionen-Wechsel von Real Madrid zu den Bayern, die am Donnerstag ihr Interesse, aber noch keinen Vollzug bestätigten.

>Laut spanischen Medien sollen sich die Vereine aber einig sein. Kurz vor dem Ende der am Montag 24 Uhr endenden Transferfrist wird wohl nur noch auf die Zusage des 43-maligen Auswahlspielers gewartet. "Der Deal ist so gut wie fix, es fehlen nur noch Kleinigkeiten", sagte Reals Generalmanager Jorge Valdano der tz. Auch Florentino Pérez, Präsident von Real Madrid, bestätigte den Transfer gegenüber dem Radiosender Onda Cero.

Uli did it again guys

It's possible? Do you rate Aranguiz?

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If Bayern buy player Grug think Bayern destroy league
If Bayern no buy player Grug think Bayern stupid for no buy player
Grug smart

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I rate him for a team like Leverkusen, but he would never go to Bayern. Not going to happen.

Leatherpant tribe no get new hunter
Leatherpant tribe dumb

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lol..........................

one man midfield for Leverkusen
Bayern don't need more boomers tho

> 30 year old talent

>Everton confirm Lookman is being assessed (scan). Left the stadium on crutches, hopefully just a precautionary measure. #EFC

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Why are Bayern so reluctant about signing Werner? Who are they waiting for? Kane? They won't get anyone of Lewandowski's quality anytime soon and Werner is a top quality striker anyway.

they dont really need him yet so why pay 40m+ for him if you can get him >for free next year?

Yeah, I get that, but there've been some rumors that they don't even really want him for free.

>Werner is a top quality striker anyway.

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He doesnt seem to have the mia san mia mentality tßh

Probably just deflection to create the illusion to the public, that they didnt poach him 2 years before his contract ran out.

>still no big signings

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He's though

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>micky maus league

>Bundfeffefigfa bfad

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A few interesting test games tomorrow.

*ahem*
Granate.

problem is,werner is the kind of striker that works best in counter situations. he's not great when his team controls the game,and that's kind of important for bayern tactics.

if he goes to bayern,he'll mainly play on the wings,i'd say. but he's not a top class winger,so he'll come next season for free.

Jz 1 Paella

Young Boys Eintracht sounds nice

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this but unironically

>Domino-Effekt für Bayern: Kommt Icardi zu Juve, muss wohl Mario Mandzukic (33) weichen. Laut der aktuellen Ausgabe der SPORT BILD ist der Name des Münchner Ex-Stürmers zuletzt beim Rekordmeister gefallen.
DOMINO

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the Dortmund way

eh, didn't Mandzukic leave because of Lewa?

Technically because Guardiola didnt play him and the Bayern bosses "ignored" him for a year and eventually he just got the message and he left.

Kinda ungrateful considering what he did for Bayern.

he got to play for one of the best teams in the world. he should be grateful for this opportunity and show some respect

? Werner only works with 60 yards of space in front of him. You saw how useless he was at the WC

He was the one who made the 2 goals against Schweden possible, though

That’s one good action across 3 games where he played all 90’...

this

Which makes him the second best german player at this world cup, but I generally agree with you, his style of play doesnt fit Bayern

>his style of play doesnt fit Bayern

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no matter what, he'll always be /ourguy/

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Mor to Galatasaray

this

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i can back this

that's not my original funny post!

Based Hurensohn

So Yussuf will bang in 30+ goals next season now that werner is going to boomern

good night

yes nachti

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lol

>Mandzukic maybe to Dortmund or Bayern

how did /bundes/ end up as /bayern/?

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>Der FC Schalke will "alles tun", um Alexander Nübel (22) zu halten. Ein erstes Angebot zur Verlängerung soll vorliegen - eine Entscheidung wird aber dauern.
Schalke gonna get Goretzka'd again.

because dortmund blew their load early in the transfer window.

I think Vizekusen or Floppenheim will buy someone half decent though too so I don't get why everyone is banging on about Bayern.

dubs and bayern sign Sahne tomorrow

Dortmund already finished their transfers before the window opened and the other clubs are too poor to buy anyone of interest.

leverkusen have already signed 3 XI tier players

did someone say lever?

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>shareholder projecting

>I think Vizekusen or Floppenheim will buy someone half decent though too so I don't get why everyone is banging on about Bayern.
Leverkusen bought Demirbay pretty much a week after Brandt officially went to Dortmund for a record number (32 million, higher than any Dortmund transfer ever). So Leverkusen was thinking of loaning Odegaard, which didnt work out and now theyre thinking of buying Olmo from Zagreb.

The truth is thisThe only club that had the money (selling Auba, Pulisic...) already spent it, the others cant afford it (except Gladbach with the Hazard Euros and Leverkusen with the Brandt Euros).

Bayern is "waiting for the domino effect", so obviously were killing the "Sommerloch" with memes about the elusive and mythical Granate.

Granate never ever

>Im Interview mit der „Sport Bild“ kritisierte Rafinha den Umgang seines Ex-Trainers Niko Kovac mit ihm und seinen ehemaligen Teamkollegen.
>„Dieses Jahr gab es viel Stress, viele Spieler waren unglücklich. Es gab Phasen in dieser Saison, in der wir alle Probleme hatten – nicht nur die Spieler, die sauer sind, weil sie auf der Bank sitzen. Irgendetwas zwischen Trainer und Mannschaft fehlte, vielleicht, weil er nur wenigen Spielern vertraut hat, zu selten den Kontakt zu den anderen gesucht hat“, so der Defensivmann. Dass die Situation sich in diese Richtung entwickelte, habe auch damit zu tun, dass Kovac im Laufe der Saison immer weniger rotierte. „Spieler mit großer Qualität saßen permanent draußen, das hat für große Unzufriedenheit gesorgt.“
>Besonders sauer stößt dem Brasilianer dabei auf, dass er ,..., in seinem letzten möglichen Einsatz vor heimischer Kulisse nicht mehr auf dem Platz stand. „Das war ein Tiefschlag, der negative Höhepunkt. Ich war so enttäuscht! […] Der Trainer hat mir mein Abschiedsspiel weggenommen.“
>„Niko Kovac und ich hatten vor der Saison ein Gespräch, in dem ich ihn gebeten habe: ‚Wenn du nicht mit mir planst, lass mich gehen.‘ Er hat gesagt, dass ich meine Einsätze bekomme. Aber es kam anders – zumindest hatte ich ihn anders verstanden.“
> „Vielleicht ist es auch schwer für ihn hier, weil es nur große, erfolgreiche Spieler mit viel Erfahrung gibt. Für Niko ist das nicht leicht.“ Für die Zukunft rät er dem Coach deshalb: „Ich hoffe, dass bei Niko alles gut läuft, er lernt und Dinge verbessert. Dieses Jahr hat es nicht gut funktioniert.“

Has any Bayern player said anything good about Kovac yet?

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Süle has, since he got his chance under him.

>tfw LASK wins the CL
>tfw Wolfsberger wins the EL
What's going on in Innsbruck? Why can't Swarovski take over Wacker again? Kind of funny seeing Wattens in first league while Wacker dropping back to the second division

What is the Dortmund DNA about?

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LÖSCHEN

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Echte Liebe.

>come to BVB, so you can get benched by me

*shakes*

>Er war damals Polizist und wusste somit genau, welches Gehalt er in seinem restlichen Leben verdienen wird

So this is what is important to tyrants. Makes sense.

Also: Really disappointed by FC fans here.

10. Juli

>16 Uhr: WSG Wattens - FC St. Pauli

>17 Uhr: Feyenoord Rotterdam - SV Darmstadt 98

>18 Uhr: FC Bad Dürrheim - 1. FC Köln

>18 Uhr: SG Dynamo Dresden - FC Wacker Innsbruck

>18.30 Uhr: Sportfreunde Eisbachtal – 1. FSV Mainz 05

>18.30 Uhr: Borussia Mönchengladbach - 1. FC Mönchengladbach

>18.30 Uhr: VfL Osnabrück - SC Union Nettetal

>18.30 Uhr: SC Verl - SC Paderborn

>19 Uhr: FC Winterthur - VfB Stuttgart

>20 Uhr: BSC Young Boys – Eintracht Frankfurt

Why is everyone in Frankfurt a criminal?

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BESCHISSEN WORDEN

>Sowohl der BVB als der FC Bayern hatten sich zuletzt klar positioniert - und dabei wenig überraschend auf ihren eigenen Spieler gesetzt. Nun war es also an Reus, eine Bewertung vorzunehmen. Und der Dortmunder Kapitän bewies, dass er sich im Laufe des Profi-Karriere das Rüstzeug eines Diplomaten zugelegt hat.
>"Mats natürlich", sagte er zwar zunächst mit einem Lacher - dann jedoch erklärte er ausgleichend: "Sowohl Niklas als auch Mats sind hervorragende Innenverteidiger. Sie bringen alle Facetten des Fußballs mit: Beide sind gut am Mann und im Spielaufbau. Niklas ist vielleicht etwas schneller unterwegs als Mats, Mats hat dafür das bessere Auge für den Gegner und den Aufbau. Die Diskussion müssen wir gar nicht anfangen. Beide sind sehr gut."

I don't even know where to begin with counting all the fails

> Olmo hat Bayern abgesagt

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

You can't make this shit up.

Helge has truly started the fire. based.

>Bei Galatasaray ausgemustert: Ex-Leverkusener Derdiyok wechselt zu FC Bayern München

Source? Last I heard Tottenham had better chances, but Leverkusen was a close second.

please go back to re ddit already

>Sow already injured
more like S'Ow ^^

dumme Sow #welcomeRode

I wish we had domino day during Yea Forums days

Based.

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>Fortuna Düsseldorf holt Erik #Thommy vom @VfB
(loan with option to buy)

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>trapp

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Interview with Rangnick
zeit.de/2019/29/ralf-rangnick-rb-leipzig-fussballsaison-vereinsmanager-brasilien/komplettansicht
>Rangnick: Nationaltrainer zu sein, das gehört zu den Dingen, über die ich in Zukunft nachdenken würde.

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dying of kringel

Mein Gesicht am Ende der nächsten Saison

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Uhren Cup today.

FUUUUUUBBALL
BIEEEERRR

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who the fuck is olmo?

>when you crashed out of the CL against Traktor United but the Festgeldkonto still has a few million on it to bet on Barcelona to win it

>rafinha
opinion discarded

yes hello, where the FUCK are the promised granaten transfers, uli? i’m losing patience over here, uli. you’ll better have a good explanation, uli.

literally me

You just know

>tfw you get no Auswärtsticket bc all those Hartz4-Assis buy all tickets before you have Pause
I hate poor people

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Doppelschlag soon

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you shouldn't have bandwagoned the shareholders

>I said to julian "only the best of the best chokers belong to bvb, you will have learned a lot about that at leverkusen.
>he said, "what about mario, he won the world cup"
>And I replied" mario was drunk, he had no idea what he was doing. Come to dortmund, fulfill your destiny"

I stay to my local club.

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Serious post time, before the delusional neverkusen boys get here

>micoud
>valeron
>zidane

these tall, decently athletic (strength, balance, agaility) yet technically gifted players were rara, and since then we have seen nearly nobody similar.
HOWEVER
is havertz the first of that kind to appear in a while or have I missed a few?

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you forgot about legendary draxler

has any one of you experimented with things up the bum? if yes what and how was it?

the only technical gift julian has is his ability to lose the ball AT ANY TIME, ANYWHERE!

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Granate, jetzt.

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based Maidens

Ibrahimovic/Dzeko/Arnautovic for the very tall guys

Lewandowski/Kaka/Pogba for the not as tall ones

back to your Drachen thread, zoomer

2/10

I was thinking playmakers, I should have said. pogba fits
Kaka almost fits but he relied on his physical freak status to help him more

>muh Granaten
this is a Domino world gramps, just gotta wait for the first stone to fall and then Draxler will be ours

pictured: the bauern domino market

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Jetzt ist der Transfer perfekt! Nach BILD-Informationen verlässt Jeremy Toljan (24) Borussia Dortmund und schließt sich dem italienischen Erstligisten Sassuolo Calcio an.

Der Außenverteidiger wird für ein Jahr ausgeliehen. Die Leihgebühr liegt bei zwei Millionen Euro. Im Anschluss hat Sassuolo die Möglichkeit, den U21-Europameister von 2017 für fünf Mio. fest zu verpflichten.

>DMINO

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btw the Lügenpresse (das Erste in that case) shows Maidenscastle vs Brownsilence live, but fuck that shit. Well I'll guess my year starts at home vs Sixty Munich

I was thinking that's what you meant but all I could think of were those loose fits

recent ones(that are playmakers) I suppose would be Talisca, Correa, Ilicic and Perisic

pictured: the bauern domino market

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more like LOLjan xD

if by domino you mean pic related

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>barely used, world champion, just 80m

>die Möglichkeit
He'll be back in Dortmund next year

left Neven Subotic
right: Sandro Wagner

yes, my execution was bad, but that was supposed to be the joke

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based 10kg curlbro

ah sorry, forgot to open your pic, my bad m8. would have laughed if i did.

2nd half
youtube.com/watch?v=zlBJpmcQwmM

Nah, as I said, bad execution, but thanks for finding it funny anyway

era of the bull

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wann hat er das gewettet?

English faggot

>calling people English
state of your upbringing, Fotzenknecht

>Paderborn

>Baderporn

#eotb

3 years ago :)

>porn
what does he mean by that

>This is a real club in Germany
Explain yourselves

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ballack

Holy fuck ...

>Transferkracher: Millionen-Wechsel von Julian Draxler zum FC Bayern fix | Fußball - tz
Nach langem Hin- und Her soll der Wechsel von André Schürrle von Paris Saint-Germain nach München nun fix sein. Offenbar konnten oder wollten die Verantwortlichen beim deutschen Rekordmeister nicht länger auf eine Freigabe des deutschen Nationalspielers Leroy Sané durch Manchester warten. Gut verständlich - immerhin lastet seit den mittlerweile berüchtigten Worten Uli Hoeneß vor einigen Wochen großer Erwartungsdruck auf Brazzo und Co. Trainer Niko Kovac wird zufrieden sein, immerhin hatte er noch Bedarf an 3 bis 4 Spielern angemeldet. Einer ist nun wohl auf dem Weg.

Will he fix Bayern?

Are you trying to make a xenophobic post?

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@94137927
very low quality bait ugezs

OH NONONO
look at Gladbach's new home kit, leude.

Cologne DESTROYING these farmers

90m €

no different from CD Palestino in Chile or Dalkurd and Syrianska in Sweden
And Türkgücü München has existed in some form or another since 1975

sign Junya Ito
He's too good for the Belgian league

tv.eintracht.de/

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>no more Jovic
It hurts...

Joveljic > Jovic

Or maybe you could have friends or family buying the ticket for you or have a better than wageslave-tier job.

kek

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>vorgebrüht und eingeschweißt
absolutely saupreis
you are only allowed to buy fresh Nürnberger

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>uhrencup
>trophy isnt an uhr

Idk who that is

the guy Frankfurt bought to replace him
comes from the same village even

Olmo Alder!

see

Art 9 I GG, faggot

>Rönnow
wtf denmark

yeah my stupid shitpost became a stale and lame pasta, with constantly changing player names. i am so proud....

>bankfurz

you missed the Schürrle in the first line, dumbo

>Guillaume Hoarau
This guy is still playing?

yes hello, what is this uhrencup meme?

>2019
>not knowing the Uhrencup

top olmo

Dortmund just signed probably the best player we've ever had in Gio Reyna. He's 16, already assigned to U19.

It’s the prestigious tournament only the european elites can be part of

Sepp Blatter Gedächtnispreis

>team is called young boys bern
>age average is 25
WHAT THE DUCK THATS NOT YOUNG AT ALL

@94139072
ami go home

>Neil Young
>is actually rather old

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like that audi mickey maus cup?

the green cup is also pretty cool

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also doesn’t kneel wtf

I am home. Bundesliga has like 20+ U20 Americans this year. I'm going to get nice and comfy

>no ASSE

that doesn’t look cool at all

>just
slowpoke.jpg

based lineup

that looks pretty cool indeed

>no BSG Chemie Leipzig

deleting my record collection as we speak

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meant made it official, as he finally got his portugese passport

triggering my hayfever

>Portuguese
Thought he had Italian ancestry

All of /bundes/ is watching the Uhren Cup.

yes

Ragnick could imagine becoming the German NT coach. Would he be a good fit?

his mother is a porto geese

Sure

New Eintracht podcast. Basti really like DARK season 2.

not true am watching piper perry getting dicked

he'd become the next Ribbeck

>Frankfurt

What is this?

kohlchan.net/.media/ee95c0d5ccbfdb1de6efb91def0d40cb-videomp4.mp4/dl/1554284171216-0.mp4

Is life really like this with an irregular wife?

no

bundesliga.com/en/bundesliga/news/gio-reyna-wants-borussia-dortmund-debut-this-season-christian-pulisic-5499

"who was able to join Dortmund despite being under the age of 18 by virtue of gaining a Portuguese passport through Claudio's mother Maria"

>this defending

better than jogi? sure

not opening any dumb kohlchan links, babyman fuck off back there thx

So that means he’s eligible for the Moor NT?

this

think a giant cricket is giving birth in the background

>Shitgart

I think he's eligible for three teams, would have to make one time switch though, but his dad was one of our best players ever, doubtful he plays for anyone else

Jesus, Frankfurt is gonna get relegated

*sips*
Still remember my dad saying "ooohhh nooo" when they announced him on the radio.

yes

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USA takeover already starting (I'm jk, but seriously). Soto with two goals today. He was our best player at U20 world cup.

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he fucked the frog?

@94139492
stop replying to me i don’t want your (you)s

No he remember the good old time with his friends playing vidya. But he is old now. A boomer. With a child.

I'm bored. jt, post something funny.

a frog child.
he fucked that frog, m8

Maybe frog sister.

kohlchan.net/.media/0b50a515208e025c573192d663953b3c-videomp4.mp4/dl/yfdy2mMdQFyPO_1r.mp4

they will never learn will they?

also what does he say at 0:14/0:15? >Everywhere I go I get the same fucking ...

nvm I guess its smirk

It's a preseason friendly, don't overrate it. And YB have an alright squad

manlet: why is it OK for women to say "oh you're five feet" on dating sites? "you should be dead," that's ok?

foid: who said that to you here? nobody

manlet: women in general have said it on dating sites, you think i'm making that shit up? everywhere i go i get the same fucking smirk, with the biting lip.

kohlchan.net/.media/2cb2077f3db4b629dec9a56621416ff0-videomp4.mp4/dl/2cb2077f3db4b629dec9a56621416ff0-videomp4.mp4

> --- Regional Report ---

> Ein Dutzend Autos beschädigt
> Donauwörth / Ankerzentrum –

> Heute Morgen gegen 08.50 Uhr wurde die Polizei vom Sicherheitspersonal der Asylbewerberunterkunft in der Sternschanzenstraße davon informiert, dass ein Mann in der Unterkunft vor einem Gebäude randaliert.
> Ein 19-jähriger Nigerianer schlug mit einem armdicken Ast die Front- und Heckscheiben von geparkten Fahrzeugen der dort beschäftigen Mitarbeiter ein und kletterte hierzu auch auf die Motorhauben zweier Autos. Der dadurch entstandene Sachschaden wurde auf rund 50.000 Euro geschätzt. Der Mann wurde anschließend von Polizeibeamten der PI Donauwörth festgenommen.
> Ersten Kenntnissen zufolge ist der 19-Jährige nicht in Donauwörth untergebracht, sondern stammt aus einer Dependance im Landkreis Augsburg. Die Hintergründe seines Handelns werden derzeit noch versucht genauer zu ermitteln, er selbst machte bei seiner Festnahme nur wirre und zusammenhanglose Angaben, weshalb er zunächst ins BKH Donauwörth zur ärztlichen Begutachtung eingeliefert wurde.

< polizei.bayern.de/schwaben/news/presse/aktuell/index.html/299672

>diving in a pre season friendly

olombo

>Frankfurt
Still only a preseason friendly though

owo

16. Mainz
17. Frankfurt
18. Paderborn

Bet you thought Frankfurt would get relegated when they got kicked out in the first stage of the DFB cup

JOVELJIC JOVELJIC JOVELJIC JOVELJIC JOVELJIC

I said it was a preseason friendly, they barely mean anything.

Some of YB's new signings are looking pretty good, Spielmann's impressed in his playing time, their fullbacks have all looked pretty good, Zesiger looked pretty good too, further proving that nobody can look good playing for Grasshoppers, Martins and Sierro look like they bring different skillsets to the midfield.

Barring Henchoz pulling off a surprise with Sion, or Basel actually getting their shit together YB will probably run away with it again

>bayern will actualy buy bailey

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>imagine losing the Uhren Cup

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>he cares about the huren cup

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Bros, how the fuck do you pronounce the ch in sprechen? I can’t get it down

I trust Bobic. He seems to have a clear idea what he wants.

youtube.com/watch?v=PxZ31fZQh2g

kys

Loch Ness is probably the closest, not really many examples in English

stop being mean to Americans

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youtube.com/watch?v=-xl1BgrOFQ0

JUNGE PASS AUF ALTA JUNGE PASS AUF ALTA BOAH HAB ICH BRANDT ALTA!!!!!!!!

Yes and he is >our club legend now, so thanks

Sooooooooooo 1 geile Mannschaft!!!!!!

GUCK EUCH DEN SCHULTZ ALTER!!!! WIR ZERWICHSEN BAYERN ALTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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ami go home

dang love to have that kind of figure myself

you could finally perform in those gay porns like you always wanted to

youtube.com/watch?v=EQ2rKGgcSPM

> Brandt oberkörperfrei

Mein Pimmel ist grade wet

you’d watch, like you usually do :3

appreciating the beauty of the male form isn’t gay at all
mhmmmmmm

he looked as chubby as I imagined

>Mein Pimmel ist grade wet
your Pimmel is homo Junge

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Why do they indoor lactate tests with oxygen masks on? Is our Heimat so much verstrahlt? Merkel with her chemtrails?

hob gpupst

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have sex

see
you homo

>oxygen
they inhale the Froome mixture

nö sorry that was just me

have sex

any cheeky granaten announced today?

nö

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Frühstück to me in 8 hours, bet your 20 qm Wohnklo on it.

Hey ihr goilen barebackvoetzchen und pozzbesamungsstuten, euer godofpozz bringt euch ein seimiges spermapozzgeschenk!!!

Ich Pumpe schon lange goilen technoboys meinen Pozzsamen in die zuckenden pulsierenden spermagierigen enddarmfotzen!! Ich hab schon viele willige (und auch unwillige) Bottom-Boys mit meinem HIV-seim befruchtet und ihnen den HIV-Semen tief in den Mastdarm gepumpt wie eine hochleistungsdampfpumpe!
Das war geil und ich hab die Erlösung schon vielen eingespritzt!!

Ich muss garkeine geilen pozztricks verwenden weil ich meinen harten pulsierenden riesenschwanz direkt hart in die arschfotze reinpruegle bis der enddarm schwillt und einreisst mit Blut.

Jetzt Suche ich überall in Deutschland kleine geile feuchte pozzwillige fickopferstutenarschfotzen!!! In die ich meinen Semen einspritzen kann wie ein Geschenk des spermagottes!! GOIL!!! Ich will mein zähflüssiges, dickes, gelbes hivbeladenes schleimpaket in eure tropfenden, blutenden analfotzen schleudern (lüstern).

Vorm besamungsvorgang Ritze ich eure nasse afterschleimhaut ein damit sich mein HIV-Baby in euch richtig geil einnisten kann!!! Euer leben für das HIV Baby seim!!!

Ich will mein glühendes Sperma so tief in euch pumpen bis euer gesamter Mastdarm birst und reisst und euer darmtrakt übervoll isst!!

Ih bin grad so geil und will es wieder tun und wieder besamen und euch mit pozzrotz besprotzen!!!

Schreibt mir eine geile pm damit mein Pozzsamen pumpt wahrend Ichs lese!! Ich bin in ganz d mobil und kann ueberall meine Besamungsstation einrichten und den pulsierenden sprotz einspritzen!!!

>uralt /deutsch/memes
have sex

disgusting
also ami go home

It's not a meme boy. I can erlös you .... Just send me a pm on Romeo. I will be your saviour ...

have sex

most boring gimmick of all time

hanging 24/7 on /deutsch/ is more borin

God I wish I could sprozz you my pozz into your rectum! /bundes/ would come alive if all of you only had some days to live. Speaking of hiros plan to revitalize Yea Forums.

hey, uli here. sorry for no granaten. tomorrow tho...
be prepared for a big surprise. we will present the BIGGEST buli transfer this window at 14h.

real /bundes/ hours

also my Kühlschrank is almost empty and I'm hungry and no Bock auf Arbeit Morgen uezs

have sex

Uli is that really you? Grüß Gott, lieber Uli! Ich mag deine Würstl. Liebe sie schon seit 1 kleines Kind. Daniḱe Uli!

i really appreciate your kind words about my würstl. you seem to have that miasanmia mentality. care for a job? how good are you as a winger?

Hello German friends
Do Germans eat meats that aren't sausage or some sort of schnitzel? Like a steak cut or chops or something?
No bully

ami go home

Sure, Burgers are and were always a thing.
More or less real burgers, not McD or BKing shit.
Also Döner Kebab, the price performance is ok.
And we need more Taco food stuff. Could we trade some turks for mexicans?

yes, obviously, retard.

disregard
he’s a funny /int/ virgin.
you both should fuck off back to there.
also have sex

duh, like every other country, yes. e.g.
(Sauer)Braten
rouladen
gulasch
kotelett
steak, fillets etc. of different type and part of the animals (neck, rump etc)
geschnetzeltes
minced meat
poultry (breast, leg, whole, etc)
etc. etc.

fuck this funny faggot tho only low class retards eat those

Um... I said no bully
Ah thank you. The reason I ask is because all ""nice"" "German" restaurants here only serve cheap cuts of beef or pork in sausages or whatever and people act like it's fine dining. And when I look up German recipes most everything that comes up is sausage lul.

that’s normal for foreign restaurants in other countries is my impression. go to a greek, french, italian etc restaurant here in germany and you won’t get the whole shebang of original and varied dishes, normally you’ll get the stereotypical stuff people expect to be served

forgot schweinshaxe