/heem/ - Trigged Pussy Edition

The more I listen to Joe Rogan in UFC events, the more i can't stand it.

We need a new person doing fight commentary.

*wins the story*

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Do you, really?

dude, the only noobs who didn't catch it 2-3 months ago are cazzie fucks like you

name some better MMA commentator

YOU CAN TALK HOT ON THE INTERNET, BOY
THAT'S THAT GOOFY SHIT, WE AIN'T INTO THAT, BOY

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CAZZIES OUT

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C R U Z
R
U
Z

>wins the match
>wins the rematch
>wins the fight
>wins the story
>wins the battle
>wins the war

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His weakness is losing to people with striking defense.

Based Ben Askren... Masvidal dickriders in full cope mode.

damn even haters can't deny he dominated controlling the center

some of the best heem oc eva

I have never seen someone get permaflushed flushed in 3 strikes until last saturday. Ben might as well retire.

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n-nothing jorge, your new hair is c-cool bro

>"Fucking looked away. Goddamnit, where's the replay?"

>I said I gave your wife HERPES, faggot.

*Posts shit about you on twitter AND tags your children so they see*

Pssh, nothing personnel Jorgito.

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someone send this to ben

it will cheer him up

>D-DANA? I D-DONT FEEL SO GOOD

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Wtf is wrong with Poope? The man looks like a drunk bum.

youtu.be/nPeCQtU7u4A

Absolutely baste and SCUMGANG pilled.

George should've called out Amy Askren

*wins in life*

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Masvidal is a fucking clown but what do you expect from an adult that's inspired by 'Scarface'

askren should have tried winning and then we wouldn't have to deal with this shit

Too gummy.

yep but he had to go for a meme fluke flying knee, If he subbed Askren there would have been no doubt

best event ever
>Cockhold finally meme'd out of the ufc
>Whorehey with the cleanest and quickest ko of a fucking BUM shit talker, also meme'd out of the ufc
>Holly 'It's maam' Homewrecker meme'd out of the ufc
>Jones exposed against a weightlifting middleweight with a torn acl, soon to be meme'd out via J Walker
fucking based, Masvidal destroying the front half of Askrens brain was a GOAT moment

>Masvidal says "I gave him what he deserved". Also said "I wish the referee tripped running to Askren so I could give him some more".
Youtuber comments gloating over this KO laughing at Ben
Disgusting stuff

lol
*Askren wins the sorry*

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Jorge Masvidal: "It's not over for Ben either. If I see him at Whole Foods, I'm going to slap this dude up."

I just rewatched the 4th round of Santos vs Jones in slow motion because of that one Judge giving it to Santos and he was right Santos won that one too.

Santos 1,2,4,5. actually one of the worst robbery in history.

YouTube commenters are barely sentient, who gives a shit? These are the same people that have been quoted as saying:
>3 PIECE AND A SODA XD
>DUDE HE WRESTLES BEARSSSSS
>TONY'S THE TYPE OF GUY WHO
>ARTEM THA GOAT XD
>DUDE... THOSE DAGESTANIS

I was at my MMA gym rolling on my matt with some bros and noticed that my ass was getting really sore. It stayed sore for a week so I went to the doctor to show it him.
I said "Doc, give it to me straight. What wrong with my anus?"
He said "Do you practice MMA?"
I said "Yes."
He said "You've got the heemorrhoids.

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Nanaka.

Wouldn't it be cool if we had old Japanese honour culture here in the West so that the only way Holly could avenge herself for losing 3 title shots would be by taking a big ole' knife and spilling her guts all over the floor?

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mmm, fuck yeah

this is a pretty dicey dicey spin on the usual elessdee123 stories

can someone please inform me what ben askren did to make the masvidal so triggered?

Imagine having such a small dick that you boy Askren.

being a superior fighter and white
his "win" was purely a lucky shot, the rematch will be a spic domination slaughterfest

masvidal is just salty that his people are literal communist NPC insects compared to Svperior Askren Grecian genetics and history, he knows his time is running out before he's shown a true display of skill instead of his nigger--tier "ooga booga i run and knee like a retard"

I thought Diego would be the one getting brutally heemed in 5 seconds and Masvidal would be the one getting smothered for 15 minutes

What hypetrain will Askren fanboys jump on now? Is it straightforward transition to Masvidal?

Invest in Punished Ortega if you're smart.

I wasn't here yesterday. Can someone post webm of askren getting heemed?

Pettis train, WW champ 2020, screencap this shit.

I'm glad you're back to riding his dick now, it only took a year.

yeah didnt say that
forgot the >
it was an honest mistake

You're a weirdo.

His boyhood contract is really riding on his next performance.

I bet you have children chained up in your basement.

youtube.com/watch?v=hfXRSmXOEIU

LADFS ITS FUCKING UP

>but ben dindu nuffin
>he was only joking
Bens way of shit talk is sneaky- on the face of it seems harmless but in reality its a slimy underhanded way of doing it.
Just look at what he did to Kamaru Usman.Started calling him Marty and basically shit talked him the whole time while the guy already had a match with Tyron.Before Kamaru BTFOd tyrone everyone was making fun of him Marty this and Marty that.
In a similar way Ben brought up the training, constantly made snide comments on jorge ,derailed his fight plans and called him a coward that ran away from a fight with him.His why you mad bro? and screaming goodbye georgieeee as he walked away is a perfect example of his slimy ways.Meanwhile when met one one you can see him slink away and shy from confrontation.

Ben is basically the typical 4channel poster.And that HEEMing he recieved is what happens when poor little Yea Forums whiteboi meets a real Aztec Warrior.

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If the worst thing you get called in this life is "Marty", I think you made it out alright.

it really hurt his image tbhf. more people know him by marty than the nigerian nightmare

As if that 30% bullshit didn't.

5 seconds and a soda

the fuck are you on about? that has nothing to do with this

On the surface it looks harmless but in reality thats what everyone remembered and said about him Marty this and Marty that. He was like a joke.And he wasnt even fighting Ben.Ben just decided to mess with him.

I thought we were talking about Marty's image. Did you have a stroke in between typing that out?

Sounds like a Jew to be fair.

I mean someone said askren must be one judging by his jewfro

>He was like a joke
That bastard!

Super Flushed Bros

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yeah no fucking shit that hurt his image, but that has nothing to do with askren shitting on usman

Nicknames are some of the most vile diatribes you could ever spit at a person. May Ben Askren rot in hell for such crimes against humanity.

COPE
O
P
E

you are a catty fag that argues like a woman

You really are underage, aren't you?

who's the next big thing at heavyweight?

>*loses half his matches*
>*gets lucky knee*

BRO US COMMIEROACHES ARE RISING UP

No, I'm serious. Ben's a big meanie. You can give someone brain damage, piledrive ugly dykes into the canvas, spit at cornermen, and shove refs; but calling someone by their collegiate nickname is out of the question. Fuck that guy!

What's the real reason Holm is getting a divorce?

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>undercase letter posting
You'd think that you would put forth a better effort in hiding the fact that you're mad. You're the first person I ever seen to be butthurt by the fact that their chosen fighter won.

my dick

>What's the real reason Holm is getting a divorce?
She's been getting a divorce now for a year and a half. Is she having second thoughts now considering that her career's over?

Blaydes can still be good.
HW is mostly a desert, though.

I like JJ's happy arc.

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>been getting a divorce now for a year and a half
That's seems about right . I'm not sure what her husband does but he must either want some stuff or she does if it is taking that long.

D-do I have a shot at her guys?

10 years from now, the only noteworthy highlight in Curtis Blaydes' MMA career will be the line "Big Titty go home."

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>ur mad lmao

that comment really got to you huh. effeminate redditor

Fuck marry kill

How can people claim Santos won? Hos gameplan was to sit back against a courner and when Jomes would show any initiative to fight he would unleash a fury of fists, that's not called aggression, that's called boring.

Pure kino event.

It's pretty common for athlete marriages to break up at the end of a career

Will rose ever break up with goofy

holy shit I'd love to see these 3 take turns pissing on each other if you know what I mean bros

its all true, all of it

Is your name Jons Jones

I think even you can do better than Eddie from Iron Maiden.

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Nobody is saying you cant do it.Just dont get mad when you get ridiculed after a heeming for your slimy ways.
Le keep that same energy

Antonina > Shevchenko

You're the one trying to say that Ben Askren isn't a piece of shit. Go back to YouTube spamming "BOOM ROASTED."

>defending Ben Askren this hard
You need serious help.

They seem too weirdly dependent on each other

are you high? nowhere in my posts did i imply that ben isn't a piece of shit

dont fucking @ me again retard

Imagine being cuckold enthusiast MixedMollyWhoppery and making a 2 hour video dedicated to Pat's pedophilia.

Get madder, cry harder, and spray more shit into your underwear.

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okay reddit good one

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You can't bring up Reddit when you're Ben's biggest fan.

Lol i was doing the exact opposite
That was about ben and his redditors not masvidal

So I had the office for myself this morning, and decided to rewatch Jones - Santos and give you the official Heem™ scoreboard

Jones vs Santos UFC 239
Round 1
> 9 - 10
> Santos landed more leg kicks this rounds, a couple of good straights, Jones had the octagon control, but Santos wins on damage and more sig. strikes landed
Round 2
>10 - 9
>in this round Santos hurt his knee, started missing a lot, Jones controlled the round completely, scored more good leg kicks and couple of body kicks, he wins this round clearly ( volume, control )
Round 3
>10 - 9
>Santos spent the whole round with his back to the fence, had a couple of good leg kicks in the beginning of the round, but whenever he came forward missed everything, Jones controlled from outside with kicks, and had a really nice elbow that was almost a knockdown ( Santos slip/fell and got up immediately ), Jones won the round with damage and control
Round 4
>10 - 9
>Good straight from Santos in first minute of the round, after that same old from Jones, complete control and a lot of "front leg sidekicks", since Santos literally didnt score anything except that one straight, the round goes to Jones for volume and control
Round 5
> 9 - 10
>Jones was a lot more passive this round probably fearing the possible KO and thinking that he is infront on scoreboards, jones had control for the most of the round, but didnt land much, Santos came forward in flurries and was landing from time to time, Santos wins this round on damage and volume

OFFICIAL HEEM™ SCORE:
>48 - 47 Jones

It wasn't a really close match, rounds 2,3,4 went to Jones pretty clearly, and round 1 and 5 were closely matched, rematch could be interesting due to Santos injuring his knee, but isn't necessary

>Reminder that you aren't allowed to give your opinion on how the fight should be scored or giving your opinion on judging criteria when replying to the official scorecard
>Pointing out internal inconsistencies is allowed

>long posts
goof

What did you mean by that paul has 1 punch ko combo

I need to see cock guy ktfo once more then release him

> holly looked like dogshit and lost
> jones looked like dogshit and lost (robbery)

jackson's is a trash camp. they all have this meme shit like teeps and side kicks and no basic skills.

>loses to cans

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>and a lot of "front leg sidekicks"
they don't count for literally anything. He got whooped and smashed 1,2,4,5 santos.

>be the "GOAT"
>can't beat a Green Rope Capoeira KO artist with a fucked up knee

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fighting is so fucking tough, not only did he get BTFO in competition but he's now permanently brain damaged and has to handle fat virgins mocking him openly on twitter

Perfect

Jessica eye wins the rematch

>b-but he was going easy when he saw santos injured
>he c-could have ended it if he wanted to for sure

Dumb as fuck

"I think I'm going to win" and "I'm the best wrestler in the division" is not trash talk

Jon, you piece of fucking shit, I spent a week hyping you up as the GOAT to my coworkers and then you deliver a boring split against a dude with a bum knee. They already don't respect me, now they probably think I'm delusional.

I just wish they didn't use clips from the podcast for the fucking main card fight intros. Seems tacky.

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They should just do a collage of schaubs texts to Rogan

>3 piece and a soda

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*_____*

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fuck that, it's the whole mgm grand buffet in your face now

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Too much work for them to sift through all those booty pics for Joe to hook him up with another special

Based

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I know this general is filled with schizoposting, but do you really talk about fighting with your coworkers?

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>BOOM ROASTED

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Imagine being this worked

what are the acceptable topics, o wise one

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If Tyron got fucked up so badly, why would Jorge stand a chance? Who can defeat what’s his face at 170?

/box/ here, Jones lost to a man with 1 knee nice """"GOAT"""" you got there wilder would sleep him in a minute

Ppl not getting knocked the fuck out. I work in an office. What do you do?

maybe because jorge won't stand against the cage and do literally nothing for 5 rounds. Woodley is dogshit.

what a fucking pussy

No need to be mean

that's a 5/10

yes, but wilder would get destroyed because lol leg kicks and wrestling are actually effective on real fighters, let alone inexperienced boxers.

jones should have used knees, could have thai clinched to victory

Man, Tonys confidence is growing fast. He looked so thick, nice and smooth in his last interviews. Habib is absolutely done. Also Tony is a Bisping fan. BASED

post your thug rose gear

In hindsight Masvidals only mistake was those 2 extra punches to the jaw. He really should have aimed them at Ben's orbital.

What kind of sterile, woman filled office do work in? I work in a restaurant and all the men are big MMA fans we watch the fights together, but I figured working in an office was no different

Woodley deliberately lost due to an arrangement by Ali. It also my neither Masvidal or Colby are getting title shots. Ali has the UFC by the balls and rigs it all for the best result for his guys.

>triggers heem

Askren's post-fight twitter comment was unironically 10/10 tho

I just can't support a common thug.

Dude has lost 13 times. 13 FUCKING TIMES HAHAHA

yeah he's not even a serious threat

He lost the battle but the war is still raging on.

go back to soccer?

>whooped and smashed
lolwut?

*wins the story*

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whooped, smashed, ducking a rematch

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Motivated Masvidal heems Tyrone and Snoozeman in one night

this. Tony completely mogs bisping here.
Canbib hasn't faced any top competition yet

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Rat party

Tony bless

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>Kill, fuck, marry

Comprehensive List of Current Non-Garbage UFC Welterweights

1. Colby

rat party

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1. you need to learn how to keep the volume levels consistent for all the clips; that's pretty painful to listen to

2. the vid made me unironically like Askren more and Masvidal less

Based russian tonyposter

*wins Heather Hardy*

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Kek yeah the "fights once a year munster interim champ"

>a real Aztec Warrior
lol no. jorge is just a dime-a-dozen street cholo.

You sound like that kind of guy who makes a big deal bout "micro-aggressions" and "trigger words" and no vegan options on the menu.

Trick question.

kek
I hated this guy when he beat Robbie, but I'm turning the corner.

that's a good reaction from ben

>When a fighter loses it’s important to go back and watch the fight to see what went wrong.If Ben can spare (say) 10 hours to study tape he can watch the fight 7,200 times.I’m pretty sure if he does that he’ll notice what went wrong and find a new game plan

LOL studying the tape for 10 hours (7.200 times)
*wins the brainwash*

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ytoids only know how to lose.

HARDY WORK!

>t. Jamal

check now the contradiction.The leftist Heather Hardy well known for feminism and anti-trump fanatic sympathizes with a Trump fan and of course mma fans still sleeping to this

Masvidal's a dick for those shots after the knock out. Worst of the dicks. What an absolute garbage human being. I get bad blood but two shots when he's stiff then mocking him by flopping around, what the fuck man. Someday karma will catch up. His whole act after the fight was disgusting.
Jeorge acted like an almighty prick after the KO. No humility or respect whatsoever.

Fuck cubans.
Fuck minorities.
Fuck toilet jeorge.
Askren win the rematch.

I'm out.

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yeah hardy work my ass. I could rather cut my dick than post hardy work again to this nazifem

nah man im guy saying talk shit get hit

you sound like guy saying , h- hey man no mean words after you heem my soul to another world

SCUUUUUUUUUMMMMGAAAANG

damn that cutie is there in the front row again, who is she?

really was, I wish Jones got the L tho

has anyone seen this movie?

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jon comfortably won. deal with it.

>2 extra punches
>cumon step it up

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b-but thiago landed like 3 more punches ;_;

>comfortably

>He make memes! HE MAKE MEMES!
i absolutely need to see redditsanya get knocked the fuck out

perspective my man, you can clearly see that Tony's closer to the camera

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PURE
UTTER
SHOULDERMOGGING
I don't mind that Tony is a cutbabby. Because he BTFO's all other cutbabbies. He's like the Blade of cutbabbying

Wow, Dominick Cruz really is a 135 lb bitch

Seeing so many "WHEN SHIT TALKING GOES WRONG" posts and videos now. Why is the narrative so warped? Jorge was the one seething and talking all the shit.

Masvidal just has an super old school and traditional code of honour. He's a fighter, not an athlete, so it would be silly to expect him to have any virtue. The guy's a prize fighter, it's a gladiator ring, it's perfectly natural for him to be ruthless. There's no point being offended by if.

Lol the main thing I don't get is why he hated Askren so much. He's just a watered down Chael, he makes the weakest comments kek. Don't know how Masvidal was set off by him so much, but he knew the risks man.

everyone loves when a nerd gets bullied

reddit loves to create the feeling of “muh talk shit get hit muh when the bully gets bullied” to feel like they are the heroes

It's great to see one dimensional self proclaimed best wrestlers get btfo

fans are deluded enough to this is a sport and not an organized bloodbath

Do Urijah have one more win in him?

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One more fight against Dom

If that was true he would have lost to askren

Smartest ufc fighter?

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he stopped hitting him when the ref told him to he literally did nothing wrong grow up

for me, it's alex "astro girl" chambers

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This video should cover it
youtu.be/I8I1N8r747w

LOL beneil gadooshed is off the terrible card this week

>Beneil Gadooshed

Kek. Klose would have beaten him anyways.

Masvidal needs to be taken down a peg

150/half hour gets you something like that

>Beneil Gadooshed
unironically would've been out pointed and probably subbed Klose

Lol reddit is doubting Masvidal's street credentials, saying about how easily offended he is and shit. Do they think that kind of person is like in the movies? It's how they are irl. Shut-in retards

what's santiago ponzinibbio doing

waiting on a USADA ruling

>currently writing "Ben runs into Jorge at Whole Foods" fan fic

wouldnt mind that desu theyre both kinda flushed

I thought the whole point of being street was that you're easily offended and find every excuse to consider something disrespectful

Rate his title reign Heem

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*wins the rematch*

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The more you chimp out the more you will be respected on the street. Stoic ganster is a thing from movies. Real G are low iq macacoids who always try to get into troubles

>The more you chimp out the more you will be respected on the street.
I'm going to assume you're not 'respected on the street'.

the weak should fear the strong

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what race is this guy

There is no "streets" anymore. At least here. I haven't talked to people who were doing shady shit for years and they all have normal jobs now.

native buttchin

Cringe at Adesanya putting on a ghetto hood accent. bro you are from fucking new zealand
At least he didnt do the nigerian accent like Marty

>beat old man lawler
>got gift decision against a guy ko'd cold by a lightweight
>toilet till

that's a yikes from me

Who are you talking about?

Motivated Tyron unironically btfos Marty

meant to reply

*GADOOSH*

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>takes everything tony worked for

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Huge fan of chess

>implying Nate is ever going back down to LW
Jorge..... it's time

Masvidal heems Tyrone, but Oozeman will turn him into a pancake.

most LW's walk around heavier then WB though

>170lbs fight
>history repeats itself

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I'm really excited for Colby to shit on Masvidal to hype up their fight only for Jorge's reptile brain to completely turn on Colby and end their friendship and end his meme

What are the lamest match-ups that you're convinced are happening? Mine are
>Woodley/Usman II (and III)
>Colby/Jorge
>Nate/Khabib
>Tony/Dustin
>Tony/Gaethje
>Jon/Weidman
>Reyes/Santos
>Cruz/Cejudo

they've been friends forever, lived together, Jorge is usually on Colby's corner. Jorge knows Colby is playing a character, they're bros for life

Gooby is 1-1 at LW and 1-1 at WW. Which division would he do better in if he stuck to one?

FW is his best weight. Time to go back on that Auschwitz diet.

Just rewatched Jones-Santos and I only gave Jones round 3. First time I thought it was even/Jones edged it and I don't know why. Think the champions advantage meme won him the decision

>Who can defeat what’s his face at 170?

>Hannibal Silva
>Kunchenko
>Ponzinibbio
>Zaleski
>Alhassan as soon as he proves his innocence
>Luque

7/10

streamable.com/m5n1k

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could current day Schaub unironically heem Luke?

Has Memesvidal changed the meta for takedown defense against wrestlers? Knees can be countered by slipping and still shooting but flying knees need a backhand heem like Fedor vs Arlovski. I'm thinking Chael-tier one dimensional wrestlers are done

Can you please stop posting?

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>but flying knees need a backhand heem like Fedor vs Arlovski
Or you can just take a step back. Crazy, huh?

worst champ ever
>da ufc rayciss
>da fans rayciss
>joe rogan is rayciss
not to mention his boring defenses, the only exception being Till who should not have gotten a fucking title shot for that chess match with Wonderfag

Only one of them is me

would still take him over usman

lmao look at this bitch he can barely walk

Woodley's champ reign is only out-snoozed by Usman's title run

> I only gave Jones round 3
this is what I said and frenchman saidpeople are coming around. Santos was robbed blind. Jon Jones had nothing for Thiago Santos.

>dude's talking about my culture and my ethnicity

when did men say anything racial

>men
*Ben

Dana has kids

one more run at the strap brother

Did she get botox?

Hitting 30's really does damage to a woman's psyche when it comes to body image

Ben claimed to not be able to understand him, adding he needs a translator
Something to that affect
Thiago and Thiago's team haven't dispute it, why are you nerds?

t. toilet Till

thoughts on pre-CTE Askren vs Maia?

would have been fascinating see how askren would deal with maias bjj

Askren would have won if he wasn't knocked out in the first 5 seconds.

Wake up, Stipe. It's been over a year now. Your wife is starting to get worried.

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Askren wasn't out.

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Kek

You need to be an absolute retard to dispute anything. There is literally no way to prove that a decision was unfair. Scoring is subjective
Maia is old and he gets gassed very fast. I don't think he would be able to do anything to Askren
True. But he was and that's the beauty of mma

Blatantly early stoppage, Ben was just getting up

>Will rose ever break up with goofy

It's a matter of time if she loses again then Pat will drop her like a bad habit.

>would have been fascinating see how askren would deal with maias bjj

confirmed for patrician taste and probably watching bjjscout

>when did men say anything racial

most of it was tounge in cheek jokes like calling him George instead of Jorge etc. good sense of humour

After Askren wins the rematch Masvidal's gonna be on the masviDOLE (social services joke)

Masvidal tapped as well. We're going to the commission to overturn the decision

Attached: 1552093297850.jpg (567x568, 44K)

>jones haters coping after their boy got embarrassed by literal can performance jones

Attached: can bones.jpg (1080x720, 652K)

I don't like Masvidal and he's a dickhead for the last two shots but it's hard to deny he's Yea Forums and ben's reddit
Can't fault the logic

wasnt it kind of cringy how Masvidale went on on a tirade after koing my boi?

Attached: argumentd0fc73c00a.jpg (468x553, 23K)

Bum "Bumky" Askreech ladies and ladyboys

you do realize that masvidal's larping as scarface is also a gimmick. they both went full gimmick around the same time.

Post your face when The Nigerian Nightmare, cringelord Usman snoozes Masvidal to a 50-44 decision win

Attached: image%3A29166.gif (320x240, 1.99M)

walkout songs
youtube.com/watch?v=X_DVS_303kQ

I wanted Colby to retire askren.

great song, made awkward by association with the silence of the lambs scene though.

Its funny af when a fighter gets knocked out and people on his twitter comment "you got knocked the fuck out"

youtube.com/watch?v=rY-FJvRqK0E

colby seemed more alpha than jorge in tales of the grind

>stadium goes dark
>strobe lights come on
>tfw walking out to heem khabib cold
youtube.com/watch?v=j-c-zfOWmys

cope harder britcuck, khabib will retire 30-0 and london will be majority muslim by the turn of the century, alhamdulillah

Jorge isn't remotely alpha, he's extremely insecure and prone to spergouts

youtube.com/watch?v=wfPSZECLl3s

turn of the century? try 5 years

Attached: Idfuckme.webm (480x388, 560K)

m.youtube.com/watch?v=SpL-p3kBTn0

no

cringe but redpilled

Greg Hardy.

He will be the first man to HEEM Ngannou.Screencap this.

zhang entrance for sure vs Andrade

laserized Khabib,got u

they show the movie on the matrix at the same time ok got u

>just saw a truck with a full sized proper 12 advertisement
who the fuck is still buying it

youtube.com/watch?v=Q954LxEzyY8

@94090090
>Thinking the gatekeeper will get a title shot
lmaoing @ (You)

back to your shithole in chechnya protohumanoid

>thinking I will go back when some pussy pale sickly monkey tells me to
haahhhaahahhaha

*wins the ocean*
the absolute state of Australia got u

proper heemsters

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Blaydes is shite
Couldn't even wrestlefuck a novice in magumbo and barely escaped with his life fighting a flushed Mark Hunt

You wont go back because your country is full of missing links with 85 IQ like you lmao

*memes next to your corpse*

Attached: Johnny Zoomer.webm (358x832, 1.4M)

>55,7% of fans thought Thiago Santos won
>so far 682 scorecards submitted

mmadecisions.com/decision/10243/Jon-Jones-vs-Thiago-Santos

US,Canada,Brazil,UK,Australia lol why i think the entire /heem/ voted on this?

Attached: fans.scoring.png (526x641, 40K)

People who don't know JW Black Label exists and people who can't afford whisky.

/heem/ day was a moderate success. I was probably the most excited guy in the world about it. Thiago, I know you’re reading this. We all love you. Please take a hundred steroids and heem jbj in the rematch.

*Gets knocked out 3 times in the first minute*

Attached: Johnny Walker Chinlet.gif (375x250, 3.96M)

soon your kind will be extinct

Who won the story of this fight?
streamable.com/hp0rg

>see Urijah Faber video on UFC Youtube channel
>shows off his newborn

No way he is the father of that goblina

I count 4

jorge bless

Kek you're right

Holy shit I’m watching this at work and almost sharted from laughing

ameriniggers even once

>blacks acting white
cringe
this would never happen in africa

you'd better hope not
the cushy little developed nation with running water you squat in would become just like that shithole you scurried out of
and then who pays the dole to you?

Redshirt guy never tapped from the choke, he won the story, the battle and the war

we've been here before you and we'll be here after you
the white race is nothing but a ten thousand year old mutation of the black race, which is a million years old

wtf I didnt know Evinger is black

Attached: hcjAFm7.jpg (427x640, 34K)

For once, Dana was right. As much as it seemed that Thiago was doing damage, he did almost no damage outside of some weak leg kicks. Jon Jones posseses the strongest defense in MMA, his hands block strikes more accurately and quicker than anyone else. He didn't do a whole lot offensively, but he was certainly getting the better of most of not all exchanges, because he blocked all of Thiago's head strikes.

jan blachowicz vs dominick reyes is the fight to make

pretty good plot twist

Askren is the one with no code. Talking about who he beats up in the gym and practice.

He’s a weirdo and everybody should thank Ben for killing that reddit meme.

>I-I don't hate Jones and Santos clearly won!!

Attached: battle of cans.png (809x589, 45K)

>he's black now
wtf lmao
all I know is your race never did shit, and left to their own devices, they'll do fuck all again

>Talking about who he beats up in the gym and practice.
You better also hate cannor mcshittor for this

WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE

youtube.com/watch?v=dOpsIyg9dsw
Marty Doesinterviewsman is so fucking shaken by Colby holy fuck.
>lel im nat fighting u lol colby fuk u
>Colby has to take a fight with robbie instead
>umm well i actually wanted to fuck colby up lol but i guess he ducked lol
Fuck Marty

yeah but is JJ defence mastery capable of win the judges scoring? Maybe it is cuz the judges always favor champs.It is the challenger who has to do a hella well buildup game

what the fuck is wrong with him, like a month ago he was saying he didn't need to fight colby

Imagine having such a low IQ that you use a lucky knockout as an "argument" against the superiority of striking against wrestling and Masvidal against Askren.
If masvidal and askren fight 10 times, askren wins 9 times out of 10. This was the luck 1/10 where Masvidal loses. There is no argument against this and if you disagree you're simply low IQ.
No, this isn't coping or bait, it's the truth. Get over it.

where is proof tho

white shirt guy punching brown shirt girl was the highest fight IQ move fershure

hmm a lot of difference in body strikes.seems to me that Jones defense (Santos 7/21) was decisive in judges scoring

OHH OUT COLD!

Attached: Darren Till knocks out Masvidal .webm (1000x720, 975K)

Does any one of them win a court case? I think pink shirt would lose for sure but they're all a bit guilty

Finally the real footage

Jones' defence consist of sticking his fingers up to your face

lol both men readily hit the women but are too scared to swing on each other

If masvidal and askren actually went a few minutes or rounds and masvidal showed that he could stuff his takedown and piece him up to the knockout, then we'd have real evidence.
Literally anyone in this thread could sprint and flying knee or superman punch even heavyweights and knock them out in one strike, does that mean wed be better fighters? No, it means were just lucky. I'm not saying masvidal didn't win, I'm saying the win was from luck, which it clearly was. Everyone gets lucky and unlucky sometimes. It's consistency that's required to prove things and askren is far more consistent than masvidal.

Kek

this is the closest Masvidal will ever come to losing

in 21 ufc fights JBJ has never been hit flush, name another fighter who can say that
pro-tip: there are none

Askren being shit is why he lost

Till would actually beat Askren, way too strong in the clinch against Tyron and Askren probably couldn't even close the distance on him without getting clipped. He's coming back boys.

righto righto
where's the proof though

Boston Salmon

>assuming based mike brown hasnt already completely picked martys skillset apart
Shiggy

LMAO Who the fuck is with whom??

how come black girls don't prosper in WMMA? would they have more success if there was a heavyweight division?

askren loses to anyone in the top 20 9/10 times, even if herby is reffing

Masvidal being lucky is why he won
In both their records. Hundreds of consistent data points > one exception that proves the rule.
If you disagree, you have a low IQ

he only started doing it later rounds this time

ABSOLUTELY BASED
THE TILL COMEBACK BEGINS

Askren would get beat up. Maia is a better grappler and a better striker. Maia is more of a mixed martial artist than Ben, he has better hands. Askren's only slight edge is in takedowns, Maia is better at everything else.

Almost all of Maia's losses were from absolute munsters, and he beat some pretty good fighters in his day while Askren was busy crushing cans in the C league.

My boy Larkin already slapped him about

masvidal is so, so cool..

Askren is terrible. He is a slow marshmallow body and cant close distance with a professional fighter without getting destroyed.

I will br glad to make money off his cte in his next fight. I like the guy, he makes me laugh, and wish he had enough standup or speed to get inside, but he doesnt

Askren has never and will never beat a good fighter

Hulk Hogan cameo

Attached: HulkHogan.png (720x419, 603K)

efficiency predicts consistency. the fact that he was training it makes the luck factor much less significant. he was only really lucky that askren sucks so bad he basically headbutted his knee

my boy chris wins the rematch. Book it so be can get his mojo back and btfo Jones

Attached: IMG_6066.jpg (319x320, 29K)

>data points from different fights with different opponents at a different time
Masvidal 100% TDD and striking accuracy against Askren is a data point
I ask you once more
where
is
proofs

He does it every fight, and the refs are prob paid by ufc to not enforce it on his part

what are some fighters that never were good

What does the MemeMA division go upto currently?

>masvidal training and pulling off a one move knockout means he's lucky
the cope is so strong lol

beast of a peach right here b

Attached: 1559533635432.jpg (401x401, 47K)

Me.

instagram.com/p/BzmSHBjlab2/?hl=en
Till looking yuge. He's coming back bros.
ENTER THE BOWL

Kimbo Slice

being huge is not good for cutbabies but hopefully he gets to ragdoll askren

let him flush Askren from the earth completely

jumping straight to heavyweight
very based and redpilled approach

So long as the other fighter doesn't get lucky (which only happens 10% of the tme) you don't NEED to do anything but wrestle them. You don't need an explosive body or striking skills at all.
This makes people angry which is why they're jumping on a lucky knockout as "evidence" against the reality of mma.

Till and Masvidal, two fighters who ducked Edwards.

Shut up jose if askren was ever good he would have known the knee was coming, it was the most obvious thing in the world. Khabib prepared for the knee against gooby, Askren is a good wrestler but he is a terrible MMA wrestler

>how come black girls don't prosper in WMMA?

WMMA as a sport for female is too young, let it grown for the next few years. We will have an golden era of WMMA soon enough.

Women after middleweight would be fat cans. This chick is 6.3 and she probably weighs 200lbs at most. If she was in shape, you're talking 185 and could cut down to welterweight easy and she is 6 mother fucking 3.

A women's heavyweight contest would be fucking memes.

Attached: 8A608FB2-CFD5-4865-B75D-9416B106E4BC.jpg (500x667, 44K)

imagine believing this

What should Masvidal's next running opener be? I reckon the opponent will be prepared to counter punch so he should go straight into a double leg and catch them off guard

he should go back to the crane kick to the gonads, indefensible

flying leglock

Flying meme kick ala Werdum
that's all he has left

need her insta

I change my mind about the double leg. He should definitely go for a meme instant submission

Schaub
Liddel

wife material

Nice country you have there, Americans. Holy shit, imagine living in that everyday. Must be exhausting.

it was a rough day in toontown for sure

Like a somersault roll to double upkick. Does it have a meme name?

Damn, Cejudo looks like THAT?

hahahaha you mad?

LET ME TRY MY FUNKY REDDIT STYLE

*gets knocked out in 5 seconds*

Stop with the retarded "Wmma is shit because it's young" meme
Strikeforce started its wmma division in 2009, ten fucking years ago.
Ten years into the UFC in 2003 you had guys like Liddell, Tito, Vitor, Lawler, BJ, Matt Hughes, GSP. In Pride you had Fedor, Shogun, Rampage, Reem, Anderson etc
Even at the very beginning of MMA you had guys like Sakuraba who were legit fighters.
Fuck off with your WMMA is young meme.
Women just can't fucking fight.

Wait, did glasses girl straight up lie about big titty mouse girl hitting cripple mama?

So if Ben had just moved out the way, did Masvidal have any other gameplan or was it just that?

WMMA has potential long term just give it time.

I just saw a post on reddit that I agreed with so much (I gilded it even). Let's compare Artem to Masvidal. Paulie spit on Artem, called him all names under the sun, taunted him every chance he got, yet Artem responded in class, beat Paulie in a fair fight and then shook hands and went on with his life.
Now look at Masvidal. Askren made some completely innocent jokes. He didn't say racist shit. He didn't bring up Masvidal's family, or his heritage. He didn't spit on him or taunt him. Yet Masvidal asks like a thug with the follow-up shots and the classless celebrations. And then after the fight, he says he STILL wants to beat him.

Thoughts?

he trained for the knee, it isnt lucky when ben always has the habit of dipping down his head when going for the takedown. Its the same thing with rockhold getting kod, jan exploited luke's tendency to not see the left hook coming

5/10 if only for longevity
a lot of garbage fights

the very fat lady won

Bicycle kick Liu Kang style

Literally who cares? douchebags have won the fights and the fans the whole time in this sport. And the "genuine good guys" like GSP and Whittaker are so fake.

Artem is a cuck and used to losing

If Asscan was a based cool guy like Till Jorge would be nice

Attached: Boom Roasted.png (770x193, 30K)

this
literally a minute after cuck artem shook his hand paulie was already trashtalking him

How the fuck are GSP and Whittaker fake? Imagine being from such a shithole rat town that you look at someone being polite and seethe about it. Not everyone wants to engage in these niggerish antics you retard

milk shooting

Attached: 627be374-10e4-4919-947d-2e0a4831eef4.gif (245x183, 715K)

Lmao Cucksvidal has only two losses less than Artem

>Strikeforce started its wmma division in 2009, ten fucking years ago.

MMA as a sport is still young during the 90s and such. Yes the sport is going through a long process same as WMMA.

>In Pride you had Fedor, Shogun, Rampage, Reem, Anderson etc
Even at the very beginning of MMA you had guys like Sakuraba who were legit fighters.

You forgot Carano, Cyborg, Holm, Rousey, Megumi Fuji, Rin Nakai etc. I know it's a low number but it's still growing .

>Women just can't fucking fight.
If only women can only just boxing then it would be more entertaining than men right?

seethe

yeah and 21 more wins and not only known for being shit

I accept your concession.

Everything about those two is fake and for the camera. I bet you think Ortega is a total sweetheart as well.

>If only women can only just boxing then it would be more entertaining than men right?
what's your mother tongue?

What time will Ass cream be on the Jew Helwani's show?

cazzie doesnt even know GSP is a good friends with international drug lord Jimmy Cournoyer. leave him be, he's seething enough already.

not everyone is trying to mug you in an alley Alfie, move out of your merseyside slum and get a psychiatrist for your trust issues.

I miss GSP bro's, I don't like this thug era. Jones, Masvidal, Khabib, Conor... all thugs. Only few real good guys left like Ngannou.
Damn, I miss the GSP days. When he beat the living shit out of uneducated fool Nick Diaz.. cannot name a more satisfying moment in UFC history.

>what's your mother tongue?

My mom can suck a very good dick than yours mom.

Debate me faggot.

stop talking to yourself.
Bobby is coming for Crunchyrollsanya and he will politely apologise to his corpse after he kills him.

Attached: IMG_6063.jpg (1080x1080, 84K)

Dude is not the same fighter anymore.
Wonder why...........

Attached: 9d5.png (2688x2688, 173K)

seriosuly what's your first language

What about Holloway and Whittaker?

post of the thread

Artem heems Masvidal and you know it

How come boxers look much heavier than they are and mma fighters look lighter than what they actually are?

Artem is a nice guy and Jorge is an unhinged lunatic.

He's giving cazzies false hope like he usually does, if there's ever a rematch he will toy with santos like he did to cuckstafsson

He's obviously typing with a cock in his hand. Some Huezillian on a proxy falseflagging.

>I don't like this thug era
yeah, take me back to the days of Tito Ortiz, Ken Shamrock, Kimbo, and Rampage.

Attached: jake-shields-takes-shots-at-jason-mayhem-miller-after-strikeforce-title-fight.jpg (1200x800, 110K)

I find you to be very annoying. Can you please stop posting here? Thanks in advance.

The train different muscle groups. Boxers all look like bambi legged Kevin Nash.

upvoated

I speak Puto what yours

>h-hes so fake
>h-he makes memes now! my man makes memes!

Attached: genderbender.png (744x497, 529K)

xD

I could only imagine what most of them look like behind their screen.

Attached: 1562251749515.jpg (1434x1350, 189K)

why did he go for the heel angle or is he actually a douchebag

Attached: 1558071882939.jpg (659x623, 37K)

Rob laughing at him while he put on a ghetto american accent and worked himself into a seething shoot was the highlight of the presser.
He was genuinely stumped when Bobby said he was sorry if he hurt his feelings

2 seconds*

youtube.com/watch?v=rdZLaH-N9B4

Attached: summertime.sadness.jpg (640x800, 103K)

amazingly thin skin for a nigerian

he's insecure that Whittaker has beaten much better fighters than he has and is also younger

lmao this is the only meme whittaker put up. This is what Izzy was so mad about
instagram.com/p/Bw1jcEMhDnQ/?igshid=1bxpfavul5lt1

BJJscout noticed that Askren never sets up his double leg and just leans into it, ATT had it perfectly scouted

I don't get it
pls expln

>(Style)Bender
>(Grim)Reaper

oke so the robot is named bender I assume
ahaha

Israel is a bender (slang for homosexual) and Rob is a reaper (kills people)

streamable.com/luqkr

Attached: i hate niggers.png (452x460, 250K)

redpilled

Attached: boston_champ.png (350x254, 81K)

WMMA is the future, resistance is futile.

reminder that UFC has officially traded former flyweight champion and pound-for-pound GREAT Demetrious Johnson to ONE Championship for undefeated and recently RETIRED welterweight Ben Askren

Attached: becca23.jpg (1080x2076, 114K)

chiclets teeth

WHAT THE FUCK MASVIDAL IS SUCH A BAD PERSON HOW CAN YOU JUST CELEBRATE LIKE THAT YOU JUST GAVE HIM BRAIN DAMAGE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE SPORTSMANLIKE AFTER KICKING PEOPLE IN THE HEAD ACT MORE LIKE MY KINDERGARTEN TEACHER!!!!!!!

Attached: uzw1nlveexl21.jpg (495x362, 17K)

literally

Attached: fatso off the gear.jpg (1080x1349, 90K)

STOP HIM REF HE'S HURTING THE OTHER FIGHTER I CAN'T EVEN.. I'M SHAKING RN THIS IS NOT OK

best champ

He's just trying to sell the fight. In the words of Chael P. "People need to know why two men are entering a cage to get in a fist fight." We love Bobby but he always makes it known that not even he knows why he's fighting.

askrens 2 ufc fights have been more entertaining than all of DJ's combined

Attached: Conor at 125.png (633x447, 515K)

your quality of posts is consistently very low.

try to say chiclets teeth as fast as you can

Take a shower, hit the weights, get a clue.
How low must your t be?

Rob is cute!

Imagine being Izzy
>YOOOO MY MAN YOU GOT DROPPED BY YOEL
and having been rocked by a headkick from a fat 5'9 manlet that you had a 7 inch height advantage on

3 times FOTN, 4 times POTN

>Israel is fuming about memes
>meanwhile Bobby is in his gaff fucking about with spoidahs and having banter with his family
youtube.com/watch?v=9yNgtCVkAa0

why can't you guys stop talking about tea

Shut the fuck, stupid Dutch prick. Leave the Spaniard you're obsessed with alone

rob has a cute wife and 3 kids while izzy is still a virgin and trying to figure out why did he become a faggot, I'm thinking its because of his coach.

Attached: robwhittakermma_65037198_178927539785322_1555710163668498834_n(1).jpg (640x640, 62K)

based rob keeping his family safe

not one of those moments or performances have went as viral as askren getting ko'd. not even the memebar came close

Attached: tmNGq4fjzRE (1).jpg (1080x1350, 440K)

he's british

Bobby's wife is a qt
based

Can the next thread be an Adesanya edition?

cringe
ok u have a strong case here

redpill me on adesanya
why is he a gay?

another low quality post which does not pertain to the sport formally known as mixed martial arts

Same hairline as Jorge.

>Box and Wrestle my entire life, conviced its the best two bases ever...
>Pico: Heemed twice by literal whos
>Paulie: Loses a snoozefest freakshow to McGregors coke carrier with the worst generics for boxing I've ever seen
>Ben: MemeHeemd by dirty spic backyard brawler
Wtf lads should I just get into Akido or something?

Attached: wihi9741px831.png (1080x983, 731K)

I quite liked Izzy up until the Gastelum fight. But after that fight the guys been a complete flog. I think Gas lost the fight but won the story by actually damaging Izzys brain in that fight.

you ok bruv?

just b urself

unironically no
he'd get wrestlefucked and then try again next round

twitter.com/rayrod747/status/1148219679607087104

street fighting is the best base for mma

If Jorge didn’t score the most fast and brutal, perfectly timed, well planned knockout in all of UFC history he would have lost.

kek

Conceive, believe, achieve

why didnt askren just dodge the knee

...

absolute state of cazzies. Its literally the exact same thing Aldo did a million years ago

trane MMA dumbo

Low effort rubbish.

newfag

How mad is Goobs that others are having the spotlight now?

not mad enough to passive-aggressively tweet about it (yet)

Paulie was a bad represenative for boxing, because he's a feather-fisted point fighter that breaks his hands in all his fights even with boxing gloves. I like Paulie and I respect him becoming a world champion 100% through technical prowess, but as a fighter he had no physical gifts besides a decent chin.

Pico and Askren, you've got to watch out for the flying knee. This is why some guys shoot head-outside singles, because it's much harder to get kneed from there. Then you've got to watch out for the guillotine, but it's hard to guillotine somebody with good defense. I think the best and safest takedowns come from a bodylock, but it's hard to get there. You really need to mask your takedowns by having a complete game against good opponents.

sorry, what does trane mean?

before spico and ben, I was light mma sparing with a pro strictly mauythai guy at the gym and sure enough, I shot a double and he threw the knee,he pulled back so I didnt heem myself but saw that its very easy to happen... wrassle/ bjj fag beware

trane
verb
to trane

trane
noun
large locomotive that rides on rails

>"Who the fuck choked me out??!"
>"Get yo hands off my neck, ya little bitch!"
Honestly, that's kind of a punk move to choke that dude out and just glide outta there

>foot face joanna
kek