/heem/ - "Dominance" Edition

Current p4p, skill-4-skill ranking?

youtube.com/watch?v=o7EOW5xw5hY

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>wish loudmouth

u
*heems*

Canby.

>flushed
>conor

yeah that didnt happen unless you call a dirty foreigner humping your leg a flushing

brain damage do do do do do do do do do do do do do do

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He trains at AKA when guys like DC and Khabib are there but yeah his swang and bang was putrid to watch

Ben "Sleepy" Askren

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George opened the floodgates, wrestling is fucking done. Gooby ends khabib's life in the rematch, cody will bang cejudo out, max will btfo frankie, masvidal will deport kekmaru
Face The Pain will start playing in the intro again, JUST BLEED era is back.

literally the bare minimum as he basically admitted in the post fight interview

i.4cdn.org/wsg/1562531126419.webm

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I was Askren won tobh guys

conor is more flushed than bj penn, objectively speaking

extra bonus on me kid

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But he almost choked his title like that
A few people came away thinking Santos could've won if he had both legs, he put a solid showing while Jones showed basically nothing

he really doesn't
he's at hard knocks all the time
he's also based there
maybe he'll come back to aka once in a blue moon but he's pretty much hard knocks fulltime
were there any aka guys in his corner?
for the yoel fight, javier was there
i dont think any aka coach was there this time but i could be wrong

What do you call this technique?

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why are dagestanis such bitch rats who only attack in group?
>diaz give them his back and ali and the other mizzie instantly stand up
youtu.be/g_Y3rmDxIc0

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Bj isn't remotely flushed, just unmotivated. If he brought that bouncer btfoing energy to the ufc he would be champ

I swear you couldn't script this shit.

All that stuff Masvidal was saying about ending him and this happens. It's actually insane. Stiff as a board.

Its a pretty well known technique called ‘the Schaub’

I agree but I’m gonna have to disagree. Mayweather gadooshed his whole fight style bu forcing to train Boxing for a year.

Conner is flushed technically speaking.

Nate literally went over to them and there was no attack, why are you sperging out like a sensitive bitch? Who cares

That hairline went QUICK lmao

That stiff leg gets me so horny

*Loses*

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niggersanya

Literally frozen stick

I just noticed I almost always wank after UFC cards. Anyone the same?

not a fan of your filthy cracker ass saying nigger but adesanya is a loudmouth who finna get heemed for sure too

Same desu. Helps me unwind and sleep.

Gotta release some of that test, bro.

youtube.com/watch?v=vgaml10-G6Y

Just how good are bellator fighters?

The Greek Statue

I’m sorry for offend your fellow muslim countrymen bro

yeah. its nice to get all the hype out of your system.

Kino

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>ends anime
Take the naruto headband off son. You're 30 years of age.

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Bellator is a work, it’s full of cans.

Lol Schaub is such a fucking embarrassment.

Khabib's simply feint-into-takedown is enough to fuck up Masvidal's strategy.

>Moves up and punks Jorge for 3 rounds

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i always feel sad and empty after a ufc card. i sit on heem for a bit while watching the presser, have a wank, vomit from too much alcohol and then miserably watch asmr then fall asleep.
i vomited on myself this morning, feels bad man.

I wank after everything

Ryan “the Master” Bader is a dominant double-champ there. Nuff said.

>Wake up Khabib, it’s over.

Fuck it looks so powerful, I'm legitimately surprised Askren is still capable of speaking let alone walk

will rogan and schob do a podcast publicly apologizing for hyping Can Askren?

ben wins the rematch

Goobs can't even keep his head on straight anymore. He's done.

This would be a pretty based fight if I'm being honest.

He wanted to beat Thiago at his own game and did, comfortably. Media and judges are retarded. Thiago almost mounted no offense outside of the first, had both his legs shredded, and got knocked down by a clean elbow.

kek I don't give a toss, you're just crying over nothing
We had a great night of fights and you're crying about a little verbal altercation. Sort your shit out mexico

*makes a meme*

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>Rogan: *goes on for 10 minutes about the unpredictability of MMA.
>Schaub: I agree

This happens every year between them both.Its not news
twitter.com/bleacherreport/status/1147705260355416064?s=12

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>fifteen minutes of flipping each other the bird and pretending to not have hurt feelings

cazzies think thid guy is actually good

thats a maineventer right there

>but i disagree my man

Are you implying that wouldn't be kino?

Jones is a low risk fighter. Once he felt Santos' power and knew he was injured, he decided to coast. Almost cost him even though it should have been a clear 49-46 with maybe a 48-47 in there.

Anyone else remember that sperg Masvibong? I miss revving him.

Will the diaz brothers literally ever fight again?

easily

*ends the meme*

not too comfortably and not really very decisively.

>for all the talk of his elite level grappling he doesnt have elite ways to get it to the ground
This is why he should have stayed at AKA and wrestled with DC and Khabib 24/7.

youtube.com/watch?v=KVsHIvxQmR4

>footage of nate diaz sparring cyborg

Could George be the one to heem Nate? Or is Nate truly unheemable?

>Schaub: hands down, best place to watch a fight is Vegas, B.
>Rogan: I don't know, Nashville is pretty great.
>Schaub: Oh yeah, Nashville is the best.

>moves up
He's been WW 2016 buddy

Wouldn't have mattered, he's injured all the fucking time and clearly doesn't take fighting that seriously.

It's good vs an articulate foil, like Conor or Ben, but otherwise it's just like any night out in Miami.

I do it before to help stay awake.

Could she SHEEM jon jones??

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>max holloway vs edgar
>cyborg vs felicia spencer
ufc 240 looks like complete shit

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welcome to this sport.

It wouldn't be that bad if the undercard wasn't so spiceless.

Masvidal's a dick for those shots after the knock out. Worst of the dicks. What an absolute garbage human being. I get bad blood but two shots when he's stiff then mocking him by flopping around, what the fuck man. Someday karma will catch up. His whole act after the fight was disgusting.
Jeorge acted like an almighty prick after the KO. No humility or respect whatsoever.

Fuck cubans.
Fuck minorities.
Fuck toilet jeorge.
Askren win the rematch.

I'm out.

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Have Gooby corner Nate and have him be Nate's stand, he just sits beside him at all the pressers and gives George verbal abuse while Nate relaxes

Yeah it does. Hopefully Frankie gets killed or crippled and I never have to watch him fight again.

There's a good amount of videos of women fight men in mma bouts and I can't find one where the man actually wins.
Should women be allowed to fight men? Is biology a meme?

It's another case like Gus 1 and OSP. Retards losing their minds because it wasn't a dominant finish for Jon. Gus 1 was way tougher though, obviously. Jon beat Thiago quite clearly regardless of the scorecards.

Askren deserves no respect. Just another wrestlefaggot with a mouth. Sonnen lite

>There's a good amount of videos of women fight men in mma bouts and I can't find one where the man actually wins.

You are watching wrestle-dominatrix fetish porn. I'm sorry, but it's scripted.

Neal/Price is the definition of just bleed. OAM/Tsarukyan should be a very technical grappling match. Can't blame the UFC for giving their young rising stars a chance to shine.

t. Cazzius van Cazflikker

The fate of all wrestlefuckers

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It wasn't really like OSP, Thiago left Jon pretty badly with the leg kicks.
The Smith fight was a comfortable and decisive win, this wasn't really

The only reason Jones is being defended, even though he gave a shit performance, is because he is a massive blue chip and fags are getting money betting on him. You can't defend Jones this time he couldn't finish Santos who had a bum knee for 4 rounds.

>Hurr durr Jones bet on himself to go to distant
>Hurr durr Jones was showing Santos respect

Dumbest fucking reach I ever read. Jones tried to exploit that injury by trying to stomp on it and wouldn't commit because Santos will blitz him. By this performance alone Jones will get heemed badly in HW.

OSP fight was very dominant, people were seething because Jon had him in a crucifix and shit and didn't bother finishing

Masvidal was scared of Ben's win streak and style, so he raged himself up into being genuinely confident. He's too basic to just let those feelings go after a win.

That same rage is what lets chavs/hood rats shout abuse at police.

I only meant in the sense that people score the fight stupidly and don't see Jon's performance for its full quality because he didn't look like the baddest motherfucker on Earth.

He cleanly beat Santos and he will destroy him in the rematch.

Best card of the year. Surprised they only charge $80 honestly.

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BASED
>murican wrestlecope

Yeah, but sometimes it works.

Smith could have asked for the win after Jones hit him with that illegal knee, and he would have got it. I wouldn't describe it as comfortable.

George is finished, got flushed by the ref. ben wins the rematch

I count 6 good+ fights.

who the fook are these guys?

>He cleanly beat Santos
Not by any standards

How do grapplers recover from last night lads?

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Still a shit PPV anyway you spin it. Imagine paying $80 for that.

I will watch Niko Price and then go to sleep. Fuck that card

So how was your Heem Day?
Mine was full of spice

Only looking forward to the power bar just bleed fight
No idea why the ufc is carrying Max, Frankie has no place in this fight. It was Volk's shot

By knowing that GSP and Khabib are the two GOATs of all time

No PPV is worth $80 IMO but hey, plenty of retards paid $100 for May/Mac. Whatever. We'll all still stream it.

How come there's no ufc fighters on hot ones? Imagine Gastelum chomping down those bad boys

in the hospital with extra amounts of CTE

>Jones left the octagon limping
>shows himself dancing inside the bus

lmao fuck off Jon you only did that because the building was booing you and you just wanted sympathy

How come you're literally here all day every day? Do you look like a cave trog IRL?

Bros, yesterday Santos clearly won both the story and the fight and I actually believe Adesanya could heem him. Santos was a meh MW while Izzy is the IC. If it was Adeaanya who was locked in there with Jones last night that would have been a round 1 KO by Izzy.

GSP was an elite striker also. Leghumpers like Khabib are done

cope

awful take Akhbar

It just wasn't that clean man. You wouldn't expect Jones to leave any doubt against Santos, he kind of did.

Oh FOR SURE b Izzy would easily take out Jones

My Heem Day sucked dick because the Askren fight got spoiled on /tg/. Fucking /tg/ of all places.

LETS BANG BRO
WINNER HAS TO BUY THE DRINKS

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Does Jon lose the fight last night if Santos has both legs? Jones just seemed off.

Nate vs Jorge would be a fucking awesome match

[citation needed]

Eh, not really. He beat him 4 rounds to 1, 3 to 2 minimum, without using any wrestling. Even let go of a couple of dominant clinch positions. He was bored enough to LARP as a kickboxer and made it work, as ugly and unexciting as it was.

>compares a mexican midget to yoel
OH FOR SURE IZZY IS GETTING THE WIN HUNDO P MY MAN

If it was faggotlasagna in there with him, Jon would have taken him down and elbowed him into a living death for the shit he was talking

Both Askren and Thompson, my two favourite fighters, received possibly career ending KOs from stupid meme shit this year. This sucks.

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Tbf Ben looked great before the knee, had octagon control, and 10-9'D the walk in. I had him up on the score cards until that point.

Jones is an underachiever. He was showboating and doing Anderson Silva shit, he even did a crane style stance or some similar bullshit. If Santos had fought more dangerously, I think Jones would have stepped his game up.

For sure, man, I agree.

But I disagree.

Jones gave a shit performance on purpose to make himself look like the underdog on his next super fight so he can cash out big.

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but Jon has 3 legs

...

Yeah, Santos landed like 9 out of 80 attempted head strikes. Jon was never in danger. Most MMA fans are dumb af.

>Do you look like a cave trog IRL?
Im finnish, obviously

that was embarrassing

Basado Bulleto

>/tg/thread/67133189

The fucking torrents just weren't fast enough

His leg did look swole as hell, tho, but a bit of benzocaine and ethyl chloride can get you back to the dance floor in no time.

Fuck, Marry, Kill

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crane stance is a viable strategy, newb

Like when Nate deliberately let Conor barely get a win over him (maj draw lol) so that he could be assured to get the rubber match eventually. 5-D chess, homie.

Why is Romero such a cutbabby he could easily heem Jon

I didn't realise I hated Brendan Shaub but now it's become clear.

Surprised more people haven’t exploited Jon’s chicken legs he leaves on a platter, that and him ducking circling left with his head sticking out only a feint hand protecting him, multiple times last night he walked straight back doing that too getting clocked and chased down, a longer and crisper striker could really exploit that, especially if they’re willing to risk an elbow to control his wrists, yank him forward and bop him in the face.

DCucks will ALWAYS seethe and use whatever they can to undermine the GOAT, but the fact of the matter is that Jon is so powerful he has to nerf himself and hide his power level to get a decent challenge. Jon "Saitama" Jones wims again.

A surprising number of (You) don't know how to do this.

t. Karate McDojo yellow belt

Confess ur sins

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Kill, kill, kill

Fuck Nunes, Marry Nunes, Kill Yara Greyjoy.

None of them, you weirdo.

He was one round away from losing to spammy, he looked like shit

Why are they sleeping on the UFCs dime?

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I don't doubt this, if Santos turned it up, so would Jones. I'm not saying Santos beats him with 2 legs or anything. But in the fight, Jones wasn't convincing. Comfortable, maybe, but not convincing. It wasn't a good performance and most came out more impressed with Santos than Jones

I can win the instagram story without having instagram.Beat that Askren

Remember when that guy got his skull caved in by a knee in Bellator?

Needs more bodies

>losing to spammy
kek

judges calling it a split doesn't make it a close fight in reality though. I get what you and are saying though. It's fair to expect more from Jones.

t. McDonalds obese brown stained tidy whities

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>Jon won
uh, no sweetie

I like Rogan, but sometimes he props up the biggest idiots.

Needs every slept fighter + Diaz.

>a longer and crisper striker
There isn't one, dumbass.

Kill em all

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Add Aljamain Sterling's dab if you can

OK lads, who revved him this time?

It's lame that because Jon is so dominant and has clearedthe division so much that all we have to look forward to is him btfoing dc a THIRD time

Rogan just didn't want to see him get KO'd anymore and realized Schaub needed some kind of career.

Yeah, that’s speaking hypothetically, dumbass. Was that too hard for your bird brains to understand?

WHAT. THE FUCK!

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>Yara Greyjoy.
cant unsee

> I'm not saying Santos beats him with 2 legs or anything.

There was a moment, when Jones slipped down with his back to the fence, where a two legged Santos could have rushed him and beaten his skull into a TKO.

Something dumb like that will be what gives Jones his first loss.

Are comedians not allowed to embellish the truth now? What happened to creative license?

>hurr why hasn't someone done XYZ to Jones. It's so simple

t . moron

Evangelista vs meme v p

This has happened many times through the years, surprised that there have been so few skull fractures and surprised that Evangelista wasn't KO'D by that knee.

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This is literally what brain damage looks like

why though

lol right. You should email your brilliant insight to Johnny Walker. You can find his manager I'm reddit. I'm sure they'll thank you for opening their eyes to this extremely redpilled gameplan.

I always feel like it's me. I /s/post about WMMA fighters on occasion and that seems to really get him going.

Schaub, aren't you late for weekly commercial on JRE?

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fuck nina
marry amanda
kill the goblin

>I'm reddit

Incarnate, I'd say. Take my upcummies.

Jonny Walker and Khalil Rountree are interesting fights for Jones if they are given a year or two to mature, and I still think Stipe heems him at heavyweight.

Jones will fuck up DC at any weight, though, he's in his head.

Lmao!

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They are, if the result is actually funny.

jesus...any moron can be a comedian nowadays if they have the connections

Imagine getting dinged up pretty bad in a car crash and screaming that you're Nick Diaz.

Doing a ching chong chinaman accent got boring about 100 years ago.

Please don't retire Luke, you said it yourself "I'd beat Jon Jones" keep trying, and keep getting flushed by plumbers

So sad Rockhold lost. But so happy Asscream lost. Anyone know this feel?

Looking forward to him shouting you out on PPV user. That gameplan you outlined is the stuff of legend.

Add luke

What a field looks like after battle

Dana White has been calling for a lot of retirements recently. Since he's a massive sociopath and projects everything, this means he knows that he himself should retire. Which he should.

Both are still my boys.

I was torn because I really wanted to see Faghold get killed by Smith. Might not see it now.

>le feel
kys

but that's not a Tony Ferguson fight

Please faceapp that pic of Luke there

Dustin spilled the beans. Also, this is the most Yoel inspired shit I've seen. That non-chalant swagger to the side then just takes off.

if nate beats pettis (and he will) I think this is the fight to make

Luke didn't deserve such suffering...

We all loved him right? We were just busting his balls, didn't really hate him, right?

Ben Askren became a legend and completely changed how folk style wrestling is done in the last decade.

He tarnished his legacy and an entire generation of fans only known him as a victim of a highlight reel . That is kind of depressing.

I hope he doesn't hang it up. He has so much more to offer grapplers in MMA.

>Luke fully flushed
>his model career will be heemed by his rapidly receding hairline
Poor Luke. At least he was born rich and can just surf instead, though at this rate he'll probably get eaten by a shark

I liked both, but it's always nice to see such incredible knockouts. They'll bounce back. Luke should be a human sperm bank instead of a fighter.

Literally didn’t say anything like that you retarded fucking monkey. Are you just mad you didn’t need Askren level brain damage to be so fucking stupid?

How much better would heem be if all Bongs and Spics were rangebanned?

Post yfw masvidal hated askren for being a "weirdo" but askren has aspergers

Attached: Hurr.png (582x626, 282K)

no to quote gambbred i want to see this cuckhold suffer i genually hate him and i smile and feel a rush of joy seeing him lose seeing his face crumble in dispair.

askren was never good

Lol so fucking triggered for no reason, not my fault your parents are siblings

I like South American anons. They are usually the nicer ones on this board.

You'd get caught in the net, Mr 56%

t. 160cm mapuche maldito

>
> >Luke fully flushed
> >his model career will be heemed by his rapidly receding hairline
> Poor Luke. At least he was born rich and can just surf instead, though at this rate he'll probably get eaten by a shark
>>>
>Anonymous 07/08/19(Mon)00:37:12 No.94070824▶
>
> I liked both, but it's always nice to see such incredible knockouts. They'll bounce back. Luke should be a human sperm bank instead of a fighter.
>>>
>Anonymous 07/08/19(Mon)00:37:15 No.94070833▶
>
> Literally didn’t say anything like that you retarded fucking monkey. Are you just mad you didn’t need Askren level brain damage to be so fucking stupid?
>>>
>Anonymous 07/08/19(Mon)00:37:27 No.94070845▶
> How much better would heem be if all Bongs and Spics were rangebanned?
>>>
>Anonymous 07/08/19(Mon)00:37:37 No.94070854▶
>File: Hurr.png (282 KB, 582x626)
>282 KB
> Post yfw masvidal hated askren for being a "weirdo" but askren has aspergers
>>>
>Anonymous 07/08/19(Mon)00:38:07 No.94070882▶
>
> no to quote gambbred i want to see this cuckhold suffer i genually hate him and i smile and feel a rush of joy seeing him lose seeing his face crumble in dispair.
>>>
>Anonymous 07/08/19(Mon)00:38:16 No.94070892▶
> askren was never good
>>>
>Anonymous 07/08/19(Mon)00:38:17 No.94070895▶
>
> Lol so fucking triggered for no reason, not my fault your parents are siblings
>>>
>Anonymous 07/08/19(Mon)00:38:22 No.94070902▶
>
> I like South American anons. They are usually the nicer ones on this board.

Seething armchair mcDojo white belt is SEETHING. Go peddle your "analysis" on Sherdog or reddit.

They would 100% throw down before the fight started. Who is scarier, Jorge + Yoel or the Scrap Pack?

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>Askrenfags so trigged they're spamming scat agin
OH NO NO NO

>
> What a field looks like after battle
>>>
>Anonymous 07/08/19(Mon)00:34:03 No.94070620▶
>
> Dana White has been calling for a lot of retirements recently. Since he's a massive sociopath and projects everything, this means he knows that he himself should retire. Which he should.
>>>
>Anonymous 07/08/19(Mon)00:34:25 No.94070642▶
>
> Both are still my boys.
>>>
>Anonymous 07/08/19(Mon)00:34:31 No.94070648▶
>
> I was torn because I really wanted to see Faghold get killed by Smith. Might not see it now.
>>>
>Anonymous 07/08/19(Mon)00:34:50 No.94070667▶
>>>
>Anonymous 07/08/19(Mon)00:35:04 No.94070680▶
>
> but that's not a Tony Ferguson fight
>>>
>Anonymous 07/08/19(Mon)00:35:40 No.94070704▶
>
> Please faceapp that pic of Luke there
>>>
>Anonymous 07/08/19(Mon)00:35:53 No.94070720▶
>
> Dustin spilled the beans. Also, this is the most Yoel inspired shit I've seen. That non-chalant swagger to the side then just takes off.
>>>
>Anonymous 07/08/19(Mon)00:36:00 No.94070726▶
>
> if nate beats pettis (and he will) I think this is the fight to make
>>>
>Anonymous 07/08/19(Mon)00:36:30 No.94070769▶
> Luke didn't deserve such suffering...
> We all loved him right? We were just busting his balls, didn't really hate him, right?
>>>
>Anonymous 07/08/19(Mon)00:36:42 No.94070777▶

Hey man, I'm literally giving you props for engineering the masterpiece that'll dethrone Bones Jones. I can't wait until the UFC finds out about your galaxy brain. heem's very own will go down as the GOAT coach!

Yoel could kill the scrap pack by himself.

Shit canning Canada, Germany, and Finland would be better.

Awww the wittle incel is mad! Do two functioning legs trigger you?

Fuck, just imagine how fucking embarrassed Askren is right now. How could his wife fuck him knowing that he was absolutely destroyed like that? How do you have sex with the man that was dominated that badly? Holy fuck imagine being him.

Can someone Photoshop mike Perry doing that lay down celebration

Honestly 4channel and Yea Forums should be American exclusive.

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>m-mommy hes talking mma instead of scat porn!!!

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t. 202er

can I get a webm of Luke taking those final blows from Jan while his body was going into seizure.

white people like to be eccentric specialists, too much contrarianism whites are obsessed with being different from everyone else

All you need to do is ban anyone who is a virgin

Sounds like you want to get down with the funk.

You gotta learn to take a compliment chief

music for these moments?

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He got dominated in that recent wrestling match too, but no-one minded. He's a business owner who's involved in charity, that attracts a better class of woman than the HIV cholos that follow George around.

I had 5 parlays on this card an missed all of them by one fight

fuck this shit. Fuck askren for being a can. Fuck luke for being can and fuck that muzzie autrian for being a can as well

The only person who shouldn't be banned is Aus webmbro.

Who's fans are more annoying and intolerable, GAYgards or ASSkrens?

>And I heard, as it were, the noise of thunder
>One of the four beasts saying,
>Come and see, and I saw, and behold
>a white horse
THERES A MAN
GOING ROUND
TAKING NAMES

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You gotta get laid, boss, and preferably within your own species if possible...

Get on the Nunes train, it has no brakes.

this is why im a weak faggot that will never experience any glory, if I got cucked on a global stage like askren just did I would have to kill myself like those japanese failure NEETs

>be from a country with a shit wrestling culture
>can't tell a whizzer from a mat return
>ride a collegiate wrestling legend's (something Bongs know absolutely nothing about) nuts
the fuck is wrong with you boy. get a new shtick

fake news. who ever diagnosed him is another pill pushing dealer doctor. he’s so far from anywhere on the aspie spectrum that it’s just the in vague disability to score leddit points. completely normal university graduate well spoken super social and comfortable in any environment.

asscream could have stayed retired a 19-0 can crusher and olympian
but he just had to enter the UFC.. now he's been heemed twice in two fights and lost that 0

Stop talking like someone from the dust bowl, I can't tell what the fuck you are saying.

Okay just did. Can you forward that brilliant advice to Lucas Lutkus now?

Thank you for your sacrifice ben. Aldo can finally die in peace.

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he did it for the money, he was already old and flushed

exactly my point. you're embarrassing yourself son.

Jones never kicked thiagos left leg after the injury. Not once.

>he doesn't know everyone from the northern midwest are german cultured autists

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HEAR THE TRUMPETS HEAR THE PIPERS
ONE HUNDRED MILLION ANGELS SINGING

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Big dog, sex involves multiple people, not your anal beads.

Yeah son, I should be whizzing a new shtick and riding nuts. Straw sucker.

He did though

rockhold folds jon like a ralph lauren polo

Jones thought Santos had injured his foot.

verbal 10-8 for the englishman

Nice love handles. What was this FOOL thinking getting in the octagon with real fighters? He should have stayed retired with his padded record against literal whos and gooks.

Tbf Santos switched his stance quite a lot.

Understood. You mind sharing your gameplan again? I forgot to jot it down.

That's what you're already doing. I'm gonna need you to refrain.

It’s right here in the thread, big guy. You doin okay, bro? You still gotta get laid, guy.

>picks heemed by one fight again
eternal picks gatekeeper

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I don't see it. Seems like you deleted it out of embarrassment.

Appreciate the advice to me. Can't get enough of that world class insight.

I don’t know if my dick can handle this bros

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photoshop a tiny set of balls onto that thing, and that's exactly what naked Masvidal would look like.

I'm not saying I would fight you, I'm saying i would KILL you if you ever did some stupid shit like that.

You’d be surprised.

damn masvidal looks like that

Hey there was a fight 2 or 3 events ago where the person uppercuted their opponent like this, what fight was it and does anyone of a webm of it?

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>I don’t see it
Yeah, I figured. Emotional little incels tend to lose focus. Lack of sex and human contact all that jazz. I’ll be sure to be more mindful from triggering you next time, little man. Really sorry!!

Is nunes gonna be the /heem/ hope solo?

askren unironically wins the rematch, just needs to not get hit by a flying knee

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I can't believe you deleted it. It was really good insight. Do you plan on charging Johnny Walker for your services?

One of the biggest things any grappler in MMA needs to develop is either a good jab or good teep, Some strike that helps mange the range, So they're not swarmed in by flurries or rushed in like that jumping knee, they can jab or teep their way into the clinch then.

So did anyone save yesterday's Holly Holm's fanfic?
really want to read it now

Who here /hungover/? I think I'm permanently tapping out from drinking bros. I really mean it this time. I'm tapping to alcohol-san's strikes

Do you think that knee fixed Askren’s ass burgers or made it worse?

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>he picked askren

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Is this way of asking if there's a cure for you?

This. Ryan Hall has a neat hook kick he spams, Askren is fucking retarded for immediately going for a blast double dry without any set up or feint on the man sprinting at him

Went from Sherlock to Rain Man in five seconds.

He needs to work on his entries a lot better. Just leaves his chin hanging there willing to eat any counter. But nobody fears his nonexistent striking so feinting and level changing wouldn’t work like it would for lack of a better example Khabib-Conor where Khabib got Conor in a range and positioning of the feet to anticipate the takedown then BOPPED him with the knockdown. Askren doesn’t have that speed, fluidity, or coordination to his striking, even if he did catch someone off guard with it, it would still be so telegraphed and weak he would get countered hard and be put out of position like Vinicius Moreira is with his awful strikes a la Menifield and Anders fights. He should take my online masterclass

:)

was there a webm of jones' flyin knee in any of the threads?

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my favorite part about this is yoel exposing lukes soon to be JUSTed hairline right before heeming him

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what will be the next big heem?

I stopped being fin.

Looks like he physically dragged his hairline back to land the uppercut.

Its not deleted, my man. You just gotta have sex and you might regain the focus to find it. I could lay out a gameplan for you to get laid if thats what you need?

>162 me gusta
kek

Everyone with half a brain did.

Me heeming your mom’s pussy.

IT'S NOT FAIR FUNKBROS HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BEAT MARTY AND GET THE STRAP AND BECOME THE UNDISPUTED UNDEFEATED MMA GOD AND RETIRED WITH HIS LEGACY, AND NOW HE IS GETTING SHIT ON BY CASUALS EVERYWHERE HE GOES IT'S NOT FUCKING FAIR HE DID NOT DESERVE THIS HE BANTS WERE FUNNY AND QUIRKY HE WAS TO BRING THE FUNK NOT GET DUNKED ON

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Got in a fight over seating with this lone drunk guy at the bar after the chiesa/sanchez fight last night.

He was taller than me so i instinctively went for his legs and held him down till security seperated us. Am i a wrestlebabby?

Askren was winning until he lost

Truly the GOAT coach. Can't wait for heem's own to take over the fight game.

Edgar is getting heemed into retirement

Faber

now youre gonna call me the N-word?

...

Ladd getting slept

Sure bro that would be wonderful!

He could learn some fundamental tools to help set up his wrestling, and come back stronger than ever. Or he could retire. It's 50/50.

cuz they were taking after askren

I feel a bit bad for Luke but his heemed faces are fucking hilarious

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I bet his wife made him sleep on the couch last night.

every time I root for someone they lose

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The hospital couch?

Is there any flushes that can even compete with the way askren got flushed?
Has a fighter every gotten than btfo?

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Can you root for Masvidal next time?

Pls. Would be pure just bleed, Nate and Jorge just boxing

It's a bad investment to bet on anyone who isn't Jones, Nunes or Ferguson.

Well his next fight is going to be the one that decides everything unless Dana keeps him around so he can see him get destroyed constantly.

Aldo was of an even bigger magnitude

CM Punk.

More like jorge getting boringly guardfucked by nate who is bleeding profusely from a jab, nate losing a split decision then complaining on twitter that he actually won and in fact he has never lost even one decision

despite his inadequacies i did not foresee him shooting for a takedown into an obvious flying knee

Weidmans smug smile in the crowd when Rockhold falls

Dude, he is 34 with below-amateur tier boxing. He has zero chance of developing anything actually serviceable at this level in his career. You don't become an ammy boxer overnight.

Cyborg getting flushed at her own game was embarrassing, but Amanda hits the horse meat hard so not a 1 in a million flush.

Gooby completely flushed Aldo.

Velasquez flushed Lesnar.

Hospitals don’t treat bums.

oh yeah i forgot about that one.
One flush that i always loved was rampage flushing chuck.

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this
the funky era hasnt even begun yet

Dana will feed him to another well rounded fighter. It might even be a rematch. Normally I'd say Dana will try to find a way to cut him, but ESPN fucking love Askren since he makes so much internet money.

Cejudo is based

When Khabib vs Ferguson does happen bet the whole enchilada on Tony since he will be coming in as the underdog on that fight.

Is anyone on here actually, truly, genuinely upset about Askren losing or are you all LARPing because you're fucking weird?

Give him a mediocre jab and the ability to feint from it into a takedown, and you fix his style.

i don't even watch mma i just post here for fun

Rose in the bus attack

I root for any fighter that Dana hates, so I'm upset.

What is that even supposed to mean? This reads like some nigger too edgy for reddit but too much of a faggot for Yea Forums

>Dana tries to bury Ariel for good
>ESPN loves him
>Dana tries to bury Ben for good
>ESPN loves him

Deep down Dana only traded Mighty Mouse for Ben was to see him get heem. He didn't get it on the Lawler fight, but he got it on Masvidal. Like you said though he will try to get rid of Ben, but ESPN loves him because he brings more viewers whenever he goes.

"the fight clock is brought to you by Model-owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!"

dana unironically has an iq of 85

I wanted him to win but I'm not really upset about it, especially given the circumstances of how he lost

based

They need to start arresting and incarcerating people who brag about illegally streaming the UFC PPVs.

Hang on, do people actually post on /heem/ sincerely?

*wins*

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Silva clowning Weidman then getting heemed sleepy is the all time GOAT
vitor punching wandy like 70 times in the head is a good one too

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Any time he gets knocked out it's glorious.

Poor Luke ;_;

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Khabib, R1.

A traumatic event like could trigger him to become more autistic.

No. I've literally never even watched a fight live. I've only seen highlights.

Watching streams isnt illegal, downloading or actually distributing the stream itself is

there's the one autist who posts walls of text of "analysis" that nobody reads. everyone else is just in it for laughs

cope you brainlet bitch

Watching isn’t illegal, hosting the stream is. Watching copyright content doesn’t break any rules, it’s when you download it that you break the law.

why are you stealing posts from reddit lol

why does he ever stand up at all
why not just ome out on hands and knees
give up your back to create a scramble when they go for it
can't be kicked or kneed in the head
punches will just bounce off his afro and give him limbs to scramble off of
am i a genius

In many ways Silva flushed himself.

Are there any kino fights scheduled for the upcoming few months?

>two paper views in one month
>current year
ESPN crashing and burning before our very eyes

Interesting prediction. I can see it too. Dustin obviously has a worse chin and striking defense than Goobs and Khabib packs a punch.

2019 is really shaping up to be the GOAT year of heems.

anyone can be anything with the right connections friendo

I support making it a federal crime. Let's see how tough these e-braggarts really are doing 5 years in a federal penitentiary.

Haha imagine haha

There’s one incel autist who gets really upset and spergs out the entire thread at actual fight discussion instead of paraplegic scat fetish, everyone just laughs at him

That man is going to be the next GOAT coach. Show some respect, idiot

In the end Luke won the lottery on Life.

soibois complained about masvidal's extra shots when jan fucking buried luke lmao

How do you fill the emptiness after great cards?

how will that affect burlington slab?

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No one cares what you support

Thiago won the story of the fight

He even threw one after Herb had put hands on him lmao

you actually solved it my guy

Masvidal sucks Luke. Asscream just isn't a UFC level fighter. It'd be like George beating you up.

Off the top of my head, they’ve done that since at least 2015

We'll see how tough you are in real life. Maybe you are. You'll find out behind bars.

It can be tough.

>Trades away Mighty Mouse and convinces Dillashaw to move down, so he can kill flyweight.
>Cehudo heems Dillashaw and cements the division.
>Trades in Ben Askren and sets him up against a stylistic nightmare, so he can humiliate Ben and the rival organisations he's championed.
>Ben becomes the biggest online draw overnight.

Dana is playing chess against himself and losing.

Good for you.

His head is really that tiny ?

You can post insincerely, like holding a disingenuous position for comedic effect, and still know what you’re talking about.

Lotta memers but a few people who know their shit post here.

Did you have sex yet?

The only people who scored the fight for Santos are people who wanted Jones to lose.

Oh, I think you'd be surprised

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Shob has a tiny head.

Lima x MVP knockout?

And he did lose.

>everybody who went to epsteins pedo island is getting exposed

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An uninformed and likely low IQ individual would be of that opinion.

he unironically did but no way theyre giving him a dec or a rematch, and Im sure theyre gonna feed jon jan or maybe walker next year. fuck dana

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Dana is a massive gambler and a sore loser, a perfect mix.

He will kill himself when he attempts to feed yet another striker to Khabib as part of his muslim expansion project but Dustin actually ends up heeming Khabib cold in front of the mudslime audience

>this question
Have sex

i've been watching mma since the mid 1990s i know literally everything about the sport

shut up luke

So you know better than an actual judge that scored it for Santos? Damn dude somebody finally get this guy some employment over here!

He gave Santos too much respect and for some reason got even more conservative when Santos was hurt. Weird fight

Talming bout heems my man? I agree but I disagreel.

>implying the judges know what they're watching
lmao fool

from the face he made after waking up I think he might be an entirely different person

Some needs to do a Punished Ben shoop. Hope he comes back and gets fed a few cans.

Are there any kino fights scheduled for the upcoming few months??

>when he attempts to feed yet another striker to Khabib as part of his muslim expansion project but Dustin actually ends up heeming Khabib cold in front of the mudslime audience

With the new 360 camera, we will get to see Dana's face in slow motion and HD.

post chinlets

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>So you know better than an actual judge that scored it for Santos?
Yes. No thanks on that low IQ low paying job though.

Askren won the subtext of the fight.

Brendan doesn't even add random L's into his words and he has NEVER agreed but disagreed
Fake news

Ben's got a fucking great chin. George's knee and Ben's chin were travelling towards each other with a big combined speed, it was like getting an uppercut from a sledgehammer.

Does anybody have a webm of that Jones uppercut. It looked like Tekken.

Yes Aspen Ladd is headlining next week. Rarely do you see such an unskilled striker headlining a card.

Give me your LinkedIn and I’ll connect it with Bob Bennett. You’ll change the NSAC’s bum loifes!

Once he saw Santos was hurt, I think he just decided to coast

Need the video of Ben tapping but supposedly the cameras avoided him till he was up so best shot is finding a crowd shot from twitter

I don't know man.. It's tough.

I invented the sport.

If Askren retires after this I'll never ever forgive this spic cunt

How can you call yourself a pro fighter and be that doughy?

those comparisons are great. then you see that tree trimming accident a brit posted on here and realise how ridiculous they are

Who’s Luke? Spicy drama?

askren is a spic?

Masvidal would have knocked a heavyweight out with that knee.

Excess skin from being a teen fatty and not training strength to failure.

The whole peaches thing is literally taken from a random meme. He has never talked about peaches. Friggen h8rs need to get a life! I’m not mad but it unironically does bother me

It’s a tough one to cawl, b. Fir shure!

According to Dana White, being punched by Ngannou is like getting hit by a whole car. I think a casually swung sledge hammer is a more conservative comparison.

He used to host the MMA Hour

Guys, after last night I watched Jon’s fights against DC again. How is his chin so good? DC landed flush in his chin with the same shot that dropped stipe like a half dozen times in the second fight.

You may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like.

if you get ko'd you're officially a chinlet

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That rumour is obviously hyperbolic bullshit.

Rolling with the punches and seeing shit coming

wha delse ya got, chin(k)?

Jones subtly moves in the same direction as incoming strikes, which takes some of the sting out of them. Plus, he's too much of a psychopath to visibly acknowledge pain.

Why did Yakasami stop the fight when homeboy talmed to him to not stop the fight?

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>I aint mad, but I’m angry. 190 pissent.

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>spic gets one lucky one vs spotless opponent
>acts big and tough
why are shitskins so cute when the White man feeds them scraps?

In one of Ben's older fights some guy tries to flying knee him and he basically does the same thing as here, the knee hits him a little but not bad and the grads the guy midair and slams him. Cant find the gif now. I guess he tried to do the same thing but reacted too slow

Will he become the first openly gay UFC champion?

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twitter.com/One_Punch/status/1147938994535223297?s=19 here

Nearly won £770 from a fiver lads, could have really done with that but it wasn't to be. Was just banking on nunes to believe her own hype too much and forget to defend.

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What if he gets cut from the UFC? Dana still hates him and he was literally brought only because of his record.
After these two fights, he looks really bad and his now the fastest loser in the UFC.
Getting that loss just took out the only reason why he was even here.
He's not gonna interest anyone now, especially with his fighting style.

Colby Cancrusher

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why anyone wants to see this shit again is beyond me

Holy shit im retarded the guy is not even ben. I gotta sleep man fucking card was too good and gave me cte

Did you get meme’d by the Hawlsmeat poster?

>betting against Nunes

absolutely based, remember asking this yesterday. 10/10

Imagine the UFC without Dana and Toe Rogan

Askren was always shit

Rolling with shots. He is great at it.

twitter.com/SandhuMMA/status/1147898944153935872
So fucking epic and schwifty

Anyone who boyed Askren has to leave /heem/ right now. You should feel shame, but I know you have none. 3 piece out punk bitches!

Fuck off toothpaste nigger

I hate the people who make these edits. Wish I could heem them in person

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Where's that fucking loser who always replies to my posts with shut up Luke every single night? Bet you feel embarrassed now huh?

>but I know you have none

True that, I'm literally unheemable in that regard.

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*heems your boy into retirement*

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conceive believe achieve shut the fuck up luke

Askren lived on a Malaysian slaveship for years to be remembered for only this, brutal

JBJ wasn't CTEd by Ngannou. Stipe is after 4 heavyweight defenses so a simple DC punch had him out.

imagine if they book usman vs masvidal before colby vs lawler actually unfolds

might create beef between colby and masvidal

DC isnt a KO threat at light heavyweight

Any news from Asscream since his le hilarious self depreciating tweet

he fell into a coma, and died

He has been discharged from the hospital

you're a brainlet lmao

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Pettis was happy as fuck when George won yet Askren is in his corner

Enjoying a nice holiday with his beautiful wife and kids, knowing that there are more important things in life than fighting in a cage.

>The only way to beat Asskren is to do a flying meme knee that doesn't hit 9 times out of 10
Oh yeah, great "win" Jorge.

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cope. asscream's live is ogre

You did see that heem right? Adesanya fucking corpsed on camera during an interview when it happened as well. Fighters are fight fans also.

nah usman is busy faking injuries and wont fight before next summer

big yikes fucking moose

having a hard time counting his $200,000 payout

this
fight might as well be a NC, hardly a definitive show of who was better

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Nah, that knee shouldn't have happened, just like Andy Ruiz shouldn't have beaten AJ, it just doesn't fit with the overall story

You could make the case that based on the Rogan OHHH! factor Masvidal vs askren is the greatest fight of all time because Rogan was OHHHing around 60% of the entire fight.
Imagine a 5 rounder with 60% OHHH!

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>im not distraught and embarrassed haha, no really :)

Nunes Cejudo is the fight to make

>You did see that heem right
Uh I don't think you'd like to see something that brutal happening to a close friend, fight fan or not

wow he's just like us, but with a career ending heem that ruined his mental health and future employment in martial arts

>134k likes
yup, he won the story

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He will never be the same, all his confidence and brain cells are gone, I'm truly hoping he retires

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He'll be back in the octagon Q1 2020.

have sex.

new

he was spotted in some nightclub

and in a cemetery Q2 2020

based ben

nice catch, gave me a laugh

>spammer thread
no thanks

9.8/10 cringey

as a ring girl sure

How close are they, though? He might have just thought he was rocked not knocked out cold for 3 mins. What footage are you talking about?

I think he meant "Well I sucked".

shut the fuck up puke

get original nerd. ive seen this 50x

>holly holm by ko, tko or submission

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> 4 rounds to one
yikes

He could have tweeted this after any one of his fights

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maybe you should stick to soccer my guy

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Ben"gayturtle"akren

He's the new Andersen Silva. Just there to collect a paycheck, not get hurt and rack up a lame "w."

My couch potato uncles have better physiques than him.

I didn't get to see the jones santos fight last night, and I was very excited to see that 90% of the comments on youtube, heem, and reddit said jones lost. Just saw the fight and Jones took 2,3,4,and 5 pretty clearly. The crowd would burst into oohs and ahhs when Santos would swing wild and miss while staying quiet as jones stiffened Santos over and over with kicks. Round 5 seems to be unanimous online as a Santos round but Jones landed many good hard kicks while Santos landed 2 glancing left and 1 that was clean yet Jones was unaffected by it. At least explain round 5 to me I can even watch it pausing and in slow motion and Jones took that easily

Fencing

lets see yours , fat boy!