/cyc/ Tour de France edition - Only 3 more days!!!!

>only 4 mountain stages
That borefest.

I think Nibbles might pull something out of his hat.

Why do the French people hate Froome?

>rosbif

ALLEZ PINOTTTT ITS YOUR YEAR LA

>Poomoulin in Jumbo-Pissma
They'll be unstoppable la'

There's 7 mountainstages, of which 5 have mountaintop finishes (and one of the two that doesn't is a brutal stage nonetheless containing both the Izoard and the Galibier)
It's a great parcours this year

Only stages 14, 18, 19, and 20 are mountain stages, of which 3 have mountaitop finishes, the rest is hills.

based retard sticking to his guns

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This is the only one where your argument is kinda true, definitely the shittiest mountainstage

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Like, does it only count to you if a HC is involved? This is a tough one as well

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Any chance this madman might die on a downhill?

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I hope he doesn't.

I do hope Alaflip dies somewhere along the route.

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>does it only count to you if a HC is involved?
It counts when the pack is certain to explode, these stages will barely bother them.
Save this post.

6 will definitely crack the peloton, quote me on that.

Look at the altitudes, the general drop and the lenght, it's not as hard as the picture seems to show.

You look at the percentages of Planche de Belles Filles especially near the top and then realize this comes after a long day of climbing

>board of the pretty girls after three (3) cat 1 climbs will not guarantee the pack to explode
Based retard.

>board of the pretty girls
Sounds cute in English.
>three (3) cat 1 climbs
They're too short.

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If Porte crashes with him

I just hope Fuglsang has his big off-day early on. Rationally, I know third place is absolute best-case, but I just know that hope will cloud my judgement if he starts out with a couple of good mountain stages.

Cyclism is the gayest sport in existence and I want to run over every puto biker in his faggy little outfit I see on the road.

*wins*
youtube.com/watch?v=IovfurZnj1w

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user, why do you hate cycling?

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>implying costa ricans have bikes

Aquafresh, your ignorance of other lands is very burger. Are you sure you aren’t a proxy?

I know that you're in between Panama and Nicaragua, and that your capital is San Jose. I don't know if your economy is well off tho. I'm guessing you're not as poor as some of of your nearby countries in middle america though.

I also know that we beat you on penalties in 2014 by meme subbing in Krul for GK

>I don't know if your economy is well off tho.
They save a lot on the budget because they're the only country without an army (they think that someone will defend them in case they're attacked lol).

Based vino

Holy shit, Valverde looks really scary thin. This was a week ago when he won Route du Sud, guess he's going all out to cuck Quintana once again

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Team presentation tomorrow lads

>a bunch of deformed junkies in tight outfit
I can't wait.

>58.6 kg

P I N O T
I
N
O
T

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>There will never be a single stage climb of Olympus Mons

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>6 stages for each letter
>Called the 'Week of the Mons'
Damn we were born too early

Even if we terraformed Mars this thing would still top above the atmosphere, they would all just die midway, it would be fucking glorious.

i really really wanna get into this can somone help me?

watch stream
read /cyc/ / /TdF/
Spam >pinot whenever he does something (ESPECIALLY when he fucks up in a descent)

Grats u are now a spee cycling expert

just watch
>using gears
>we stay in the same thread
>NO NEW THREADS

no but seriously, what do you wanna know bro?

tiz-cycling.live for streams. Be prepared for comfy scenery and chateaus in French countryside.

The >pinot era ended
We've entered the P I N O T era

>tfw had to suffer through Eurosport ads and stream going down and >tashatam for the entire season
>tfw finally time for comfy TDF which is shown for free without ads on Dutch television
Can't wait for comfy Maarten & Herbert

For me, it's the >Pino era

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>chateaus

CHÂTEAUX you illiterate mongoloid piece of shit !

which part of France are you from lad

>château noun
>châ·teau | \ sha-ˈtō \
>plural châteaus\ sha-ˈtōz \ or châteaux\ >sha-ˈtō(z) \
Based Merriam-Webster. I for one shall be using the form châteaus.

Actually hon(honhon), it's the >yates era
Can't wait for Abdul to get exposed again in the third week

Auvergne.

I don't know where you find that Ghengis but it's 100% wrong.

Ah, nice. Stage 9 is in that area, no?

Yup, boring stage.

yeah, hilly stage but pretty easy, probably a sprint finish unless the peloton really doesn't give a shit

The finish is in descent and the stage is short, there will be a sprint.

Yeah agreed, unless peloton somehow gives people like De Marchi, De Gendt, Geschke etc a 15m lead.

more interested in where to watch, who to root for any quick guides on how to be a fan i guess?

>where to watch
sport.francetvinfo.fr/tour-de-france/direct/

>where to watch
see >who to root for
Anyone except the br*ts. I guess as a yank you could root for TJ van Garderen, if you like being disappointed. /cyc/ roots for a lot of different riders. Nibali is a main shared favourite but he's not expected to do much this tour because he's already done the Giro this year. Pinot is both a meme and a favourite. And Bardet and /AG2R/ get some love as well. But really, lots of riders outside of that are favs to some in here as well. Anyone except the fucking anglos and DEFINITELY not anyone from Team INEOS (formerly Sky)
>quick guides how to be a fan
What? I'm not sure how to answer this. Just watch and comment here and enjoy. Just make sure to not go "hurrdurr new thread when" when we've passed the limit. 1 thread per stage, that's it.
Also I guess, know that not all stages are worth watching in full. Flat stages in particular are generally not that exciting and generally consist of a 3-man breakaway that gets caught near the end by the peloton and then a mass-sprint happens. (note for when it can get exciting, a good rule of thumb is the peloton can make up 10 seconds of time per KM left. So if the breakaway still has a minute ahead at 6 km, things are gonna get close)
It can be comfy still, because of the nice countryside and castles and commentary, but it's not exciting.

That's about it, don't really know how to answer that weird question. How to be a fan, lmao
Throw pissbottles and tacks at Team INEOS, that's how to be a true fan.

kek that's amazing

could an horse ride up this?

Don't forget they all have asthma, so they'd die even sooner.
Anyway, it's quite misleading, as there's no ocean on Mars, so they don't count the height starting at "ocean level".
If there was no ocean on Earth, then you could count the Mount Everest as something like 14km high (8km high + 6km from the oceanic floor), or even higher if you count the base level at the Marianna Deep.

easily

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btw, they've recently found out that Finnhorse has genetical markers that prove it's descended from Mongolian wild horses. Something that hasn't been found out in any other domesticated horses.

>or even higher if you count the base level at the Marianna Deep.
It would be roughly the same as Mount Olympus. The thing is I'm pretty sure no one could climb Mount Everest with a bike even if there was a road.

>Highest climbs being done are 2km high
Yeah no, if you COULD climb up Everest without going through icey ladder death fields with a bike, and that was all the stage was, it still wouldn't be possible. Human bodies just don't function well enough at those heights.

Root for belgians and you are fine

Yeah that was my point. Some stages in the Dakar rally are at 4000+ and some pilots have collapsed (bikers).

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This is TdF and not a random spring classic, Johannes

>imblying
Maybe Le Breakaway Man in a hilly stage or GVA in a hilly stage / punch finish, or based WVA in a punchy sprint / TT, but outside of those, you're fucked, no GC chances whatsoever

Interesting

Are you guys sending van der Poel for the based rivalry atleast?

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Sadly not to this tour yet. I hope he goes next year

He should leave his current team.
It's a fucking circus.

I imagine he will, he'll probably have some great offers.
And despite being in a circus team, he still manages to win.

what if i told you he will sign for
>ineos

fun fact, you can't see anything other than olympus mons on top of the summit

Why won't the TdF go to french guiana and reunion? I mean the giro went to israel so anything's possible

>french guiana
>jungle stage
MAKE IT HAPPEN !

there's no road in Guyanna, except in Kourou for the rocket launchpad
then again, maybe we can have a sprint here, with the endline being under a fucking Arianne 5 rocket, for extreme French wanking basedness

>there's no road in Guyanna
There was a Giro some years ago where they went on dirt mountain roads where cars couldn't pass, there's no reason we couldn't make a jungle stage, this isn't the gay pride ffs.

I’m likely about to move away from my comfy small town where I can cycle freely to NYC
any tips on locations to ride that aren’t going to be loud and surrounded by people?
how far outside of the city would I need to go to find it if not?