Be soccer game

>Be niggertackle
>Be civilized and manly sport
>'People' literally pay for watching niggers in tight pants collide against each other.

>>be soccer game
>>score more points
>>lose the match because of the geographic locatio
literally impossible

Great thread. Upvoted

Not enough pauses to watch commercials, fag?

where did the var sinson meme come from? explain pls

about black bulls?

>be a national team of soccer
>go to a semi of World Cup
>the people of your country still don't suport you

>be brazilian
>live in favela
>get shot

For the love of God, lose weight.

You're one of the few countries that really can't talk

Nobody wants feminist slags to win anything.

You're totally not projecting Hans

Based. I cant wait for football season

Truly the American Dream is alive and well.

I mean, any sport can be oversimplified to sound stupid.

>be from any country other than the US or Canada
>constantly cry about gridiron football
Both do it

>be at a baseball game
>nothing happens
>people literally fall asleep in the stands
>four hours later everyone stands up and stretches because they just took a nap
>get hit in the face by a foul ball going 90mph
>can't afford ambulance bill

>goat sport
>not baseball

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Every sport is flawed, but soccer is the only one that is actually broken.

I haven't even talked about the obscene laughable diving. Or the ridiculous way they keep time. Or how they incentivize inferior teams to use (((tactics))) of parking the bus to rely on penalties to advance. Soccer is the only sport where you can dominate your opponent 100% of the match, win 90% of possession, shoot 20 shots to 0, and still lose because of penalties

The (((sport))) is a disgrace and every eurocuck favela monkey knows it

Imagine if in basketball they decided a tie game with free throws

soccer is literally the worst sport on earth. its no surprise only thirdworld subhumans like it.

>i'm a disgrace for the queen and the anglo tradition, even Canada is better at football

Watch Futsal instead. It's fun, fast paced, lots of cool moves and a goal is pretty much a given each match.

Cringe thread. Snapped.

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>the queen
The queen watches cricket, mate. It's always been the sport of royalty and upper class in England. She's even a member at Lord's. And Australia is the GOAT cricket nation so definitely not a disgrace there.

>anglo tradition
england is the only country in the entire anglosphere that even watches soccer.

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>royalty
>most popular amongs the lowest poos in India

Do you know that colonials were always rich, upper class people, usually of royalty? They exported it to India and it became part of Indian culture after the Indians ended up beating their colonial masters in the game. Same thing happened in Australia. Colonists weren't working class English.
And more to the point I'm talking about cricket in England. India has nothing to do with this, you seething brainlet.

>where did the var sinson meme come from? explain pls
in Spanish, V and B sounds are practically the same.
South Americans love the Simpsons for some reason.
If you have a thick Spanish accent, "VAR Sinson" sounds exactly like "Bart Simpson"

>Colonists weren't working class English
you are descended from lowlife criminals, "mate"

>Even Canada is better at football
Doesn't Auatralia not play it? I thought they had their own version of football.

Australia was a penal colony you dumbcunt. India was not, nor were their other colonies. And even the people who ran the show before Australia became an actual colony were all upper class. Please learn some history before your next suicide attempt.

>I thought they had their own version of football.
They do. It's a bizarre cross between rugby and Gaelic football. It's pretty fun to watch once you get what's going on.

>be soccer
>be the world’s most popular sport bar none

yea we have aussie rules football which is the most popular sport here (except in 2 states that prefer rugby). soccer is not even a top 5 sport here, aussie rules, cricket, rugby, rugby league, tennis, and motorposrts (f1 and supercars) are all more popular.

I'll always have it on if there's nothing else, especially during boreball season. The primary appeal for me is no commercials.

Is cricket the original baseball?

Yeah its been played for hundreds of years. Baseball is derived from another british sport called rounders as far as i know.

Sounds like it's even less popular there than it is here. It's probably the fourth most popular or so here. It is really catching on in the younger generation, though.

this tea bee aich

comfy saturday mornings watching euro leagues or laughably bad mls afternoon games

there has never been an instant where you score more but somehow lost because of away goal rule you retard

>playing handegg
>calling it football
have sex

Yeah, soccer peaked in popularity here in 2006 after we did kind of well in the world cup, but it never really broke into the mainstream. It literally cannot compete with our big 3 sports (cricket, rugby league, aussie rules) so they can't even find a time to schedule our domestic league. In winter it has to contend with aussie rules, rugby league and rugby union which are all far more popular, and in summer it has to compete with cricket and tennis.
It simply has no room for growth since no one will ever watch soccer over our main sports and zoomers are more into aussie rules (more action, fun and easy to play, more ingrained in popular culture, more career opportunities, etc). And unlike America which has a lot of immigrants that love soccer, most of our immigrants are South African (rugby/cricket), Indian (cricket) or Chinese (don't watch or play sports)

>be american football game
>game lasts three hours
>only has 11 minutes of actual game time
An american football game is 2 hours and 49 minutes of ads.

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>oversimplified to sound stupid
Care to explain this?

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i dont even like american football but this chart is retarded. majority of a soccer match is just random passing in the mid field and the ball being turned over. its literally as boring as watching fat negroids standing around getting ready for the snap

Is there anything in life that America hasn't ruined?

>pooball fag
Opinion discarded

He's talking about away goals rule because he's only used to Franchise closed leagues system as a good customer.

>be basketball game
>fast paced high scoring game
>everything is always at stake in the last 2 minutes
>these last 2 minutes actually last 40
Just play 5 minutes lmao

Rounders is actually better than Baseball

umm, our most popular sport is aussie rules footy, mate. the oldest and only football code on earth that actually is constant action

this is true, basketball is actually the worst sport on earth.

I think i'll give cricket and rugby a try, handegg and baseball are just downgrades of these.

>Basketball is actually the worst sport on Earth
This. I'd rather watch golf.

>handegg
Doesn't rugby have a similarly shaped ball?

And their relation with gercucks

cricket's hard to get into but it's fun once you do. should keep an eye out for the world cup match between england and new zealand. it'll be a big game for both teams and the threads will be fun. rugby has a world cup later this year and is a very easy sport to get into

same. my problem with basketball is there just isn't enough buildup to scoring and because there is so much of it every score feels largely irrelevant. in other american sports like football, a touchdown is usually the result of a relentless offence scraping yards each play building up to a touch down, or a kino as fuck dragon down the field.

How on earth can you shit on soccer when you lot watch rugby league and cricket.

I don't watch rugby league but it's still more entertaining than soccer. Cricket is the most engaging sport on earth and as someone who unironically follows 11 different sports nothing comes close to (test) cricket for me.

>11 different sports
Oh, wow, what are they?

>I don't watch rugby league but it's still more entertaining than soccer.
Rugby league is even more boring than normal rugby. Imagine taking rugby, then removing all the interesting and skillful bits until it's just men running into each other then spazzing around on the floor.

> Cricket is the most engaging sport on earth
Lol just lol. Your minds are clearly addled by the heat, or spider venom or something.

PATRICIAN
Hockey
Baseball
Cricket
Rugby
American football

PLEBEIAN
Anything else

SPECIAL KIND OF RETARDED
Basketballl

NOBODY cares about gridiron in any way

>be hockey game
>score goal
>challenge goalie interference
>no one even knows what that means
>gary flips a coin
>tells toronto it was tails
>refs forget what yes/no is to heads/tails
>doesn’t matter anyway
>call no goal
>refs know that couldn’t have been right
>try to find a makeup call soon to make people forget
>player gets nudged
>call 2 minutes
>other team gets powerplay
>scores

I always see people, especially Europeans, bitch about it. If you like one type of football more than another that's your business, I think the flame wars are stupid.

>>blast the ball at a defender's upper bicep in the box from 4 feet away
That's literally not a handball though.

It is now, it's how Liverpool cheated their CL win.

Football is played on goals, not stats.

That's fresh, coming from the country that constantly bitches about football

That's simply not true, there are a LOT of homosexuals out there that do.

Hello non-American friends

I'll assume you're all new here as not one of you has followed the standard procedure for when an American makes a post/thread about football. Allow me to teach you how to deal with this situation in the future.

So you've encountered a confused and angry American posting inane and dangerous opinions on a subject they know nothing about? don't panic and don't try to educate them as you will only encourage them to continue. All you need to do is reply to them with the three short lines of text below and you will improve Yea Forums for not only yourself but everybody else as well.
>That flag
>This topic
Opinion discarded.

If its not just an American post within a football related thread but an actual football related thread started by an American, just change the third line of text from "Opinion discarded." to "Opinion discarded, thread closed and hidden.".

If you've accidently read an American post/thread about football and find yourself in agreement with what they have posted, remind yourself of the infinite monkey theorem and follow the standard procedure.

Feel free to save this post to teach other new friends in the future and remember... only YOU can prevent Americans ruining football.

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I don't hate your football. Just because a lot of other Americans bitch about it doesn't mean that I do it.

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How different are the two kinds of rugby? If you only knew the rules of one, would you be completely lost watching the other?

you still would say its luck? for a certain point of view the best shooters would get advantage.

>imagine watching basketball
Top kek

this was actually pretty funny

Does this clown really not see the irony?
>be brazilian
>get head cut off
>be brazilian's girlfriend
>also get head cut off
>have decapitated heads get shot anyway
enjoy life in your third world shithole,mate

>something happens
exactly.

Sad!

>"sports"

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Rugby is handpapaya

But..an actual shitload of stuff happens during a football game, unlike running back and forth the length of the field and flopping like sweet little nancy boys.

>goat sport
literally.

>away goal rules
what the fuck is this nonsense?

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My entire life, I have never tuned into a basketball game until the final 5 minutes. That's literally all you need.

Hockey is literally luck-based nonsense.

Never really got the sudaca/yuro logic about >tf tp type shit. There are plenty of people in murica who don't follow or understand any sports, and I'd imagine the same is true of your countries as well. With that in mind, when you write off americans as not knowing anything about soccer, you also bring along the assumption that all yuros and sudacas are actually knowledgeable about the sport.
It would be one thing if americans really didn't play soccer at all, but the reality is that a huge amount of people here have actually played at some point in their lives, and a lot of people either follow or know about some soccer league in the world, whether that's MLS or something foreign.
>tl;dr you probably know just as little as any given chantard american posting about soccer, so kill yourself.

I grew up in a little town south of the Kentucky border... things were simple. You tended the farm, raised the herd... and if anyone gave you shit? Son, you beat the fucker down. You were a man. And under that hot alabama sun you learned the values of christ, america, and manhood- the missisipi trio as my pop called it... may god bless his soul... And a man like me? Well when we weren’t out hunting or at the bar? We watched sport. None of that pussy european shit- real sport, arizona sport. I’d get back home... hang up my duster, cold beer, my girl cooking some fineeee BBQ... and id watch muscular, toned black men. Sometimes they’d collide into each other, sometimes bounce a ball... but they were always fine specimens. I’d watch those darkies sweat and toil for hours... and I’ll admit my loins stirred more than once... called it the texas rise, heh... and when I watched those guys play, my mind... wandered. I imagined them taking my girl... like animals- hoo boy did that get me goin! I remember, in the 12th ad break of the NFL playoffs powered by mcdonalds I’m loving it, right after the arbys presents: the danger kick! I noticed my missus watching those stallions on screen... stroking that pussy of hers. And I tell you what... without a word I drove her down the city, philidelphia- my home- and she made love to every nigger in sight. I milked my johnson more than ever that night. So when you pussy europeans talk about sport.... remember what REAL men play

Hockey is fucking unwatchable. It's just ping-ping-PEW! Hey look! The puck is just randomly bouncing around the ice until someone accidentally bumps it into the goal! Hockey fags are ridiculous.