/heem/ - BisGOD edition

this fights making dana rage, can confirm.

Ben Askren and Khabib Nurmagomedov would like to have a word?

>both these dweebs going for submissions
I don't think they got the memo

>get caught in guillotine
>trip him and fall into his guard making it worse

Attached: Tybura makes Pesta Pasta.webm (1280x720, 2.81M)

nba league minimum: $838,464
ufc starting maximum for no names on this show: $10,000

Lmao his boxing is crisp but he's too weak to get a submission on this roided ex footballer

I guess you didn’t get the memo. Dana only wants finishes on his Contender Series. Not wrestlefucking. The boys need to stand and bang, just bleed, until someone falls down. Dana will not even acknowledge whoever wins this shitty snooze fest.

Yeah but they are a multibillion business with multiple organization and deals with ESPN, NBC, CBS. Vs this fat bald greedy fuck still doing the ppv method and selling garbage merchandise overpriced.

>that cheeky grin when he clinched up
Based bjjnigger

Based Bisping getting some work as a commentator under his belt.
Didn't know you were referring to this event specifically, buddeh. Just tuned in.

I have a bad feeling dana is gunna sign some of these boring retards to please the people who threw a bitch fit on twitter when he didnt sign that UK faggot

>trying to squeeze one out
imagine firing goldie and hiring this guy

KYLE DAUKUS TRYING TO SQUEEZE ONE OUT

NO FINISHES

They're the same shit commentators just different names

Literally only retards sign up to ruin their mind and body for the same or even less money than they can make working low income regular joe jobs

What is with these dipshits and not trying to finish with ground and pound. Like if you get enough consecutive hits to the noggin they'll stop the fight lol

I feel like there would be more finishes if some of these guys paced themselves and stopped going for it so hard

Lol Dana not impressed. No chance he gets a contract. Dana should just rename his show Dana White’s Kickboxing Series if he wants finishes

>this is the future of the sport

I agree when we're talking about the bums we've seen tonight but there are some exciting ass fighters in the UFC already who are getting paid great because they put on a show but if you aren't a good fighter or a KO artist idk why the fuck they would ever want to be a fighter

UFC is a cult

I think if no one else does anything impressive Duakaus might get signed just for being a submission artist with clean striking.

LOL Mexican Cody garbrandt up next upcoming knockout

JUST BLEED

Attached: Marlon Sandro uppercut...webm (640x360, 1.65M)

Not happening. Dana White doubled down on not signing him and basically said he’s right and for any other organizations to sign him if they disagree.

this featherweight hawaii nigger fought at 170 in his last fight

>12-7 record
My spice senses are tingling

What is with the MMA media being up their own ass about not liking exciting fights? Why do they pretend that 80% of the fans aren't just bleed brads.

Atleast we get to see sanko during the interviews

>12-7 record
Incoming can, finish imminent

if he spams punches to try and finish he'll just end up losing position dummy eat a salad

good shit heres hoping he stays true to that

>when you realize this is mma's version of the nfl draft

>another wrestler
boy I'm at the edge of my seat

if dana hates wrestlefags so bad why does every fight feature at least one of them

mmajunkie.com/2019/06/dana-white-doubles-down-brendan-loughnane-ufc-contract-snub

Kek, no way. He’s making his intentions known

pineapple nigger is a major cutbabby so he could tibau a win here

>You now remember that guy that claimed he learned to fight by watching anime getting nuked in 10 seconds

Did contender series end?

>based egg

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Idk not sure

Attached: HEEM ME INSIDE.png (1138x526, 537K)

manlet fights are almost over boys LHW is next we might see a heem

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dana wants wrestlefags to fall down and die in front of him.

succesful strikers are already making money elsewhere. Wrestleniggers are the cans of life

How did we get 2 straight weeks of garbage

Last fight was at MW lol

and they aren't allowed to get money from their own individual sponsors

You mean stylebender?

user, I...

gonzalez fucking sucks

This
Boxers go into boxing
Thai fighters complete in MT
Elite bjjshitters compete in bjj
Wrestleniggers have nowhere to go except MMA

You know, it was really Jessica Eye that won the war here

Attached: 1560107642803.webm (1280x720, 2.93M)

it was 2 bums who won all their fights by submission brotha that shit dont count

Had to turn this shit off. Another shitty decision with a wrestlefucker. Why are they wasting Dana’s time?

>What is with these dipshits and not trying to finish with ground and pound
Because its fucking stupid, pointless, and is only ever relevant if you are dragged to the ground with the other guy while taking him down or attempting to throw him down

Its a silent protest against the nonsense regarding kicks to a gorunded opponent, and a statement regarding Gracie Ju Jitsu that the Gracie Hunter made well damned clear

Ground and Pound aint got nuthin on stomping and kicking an opponent to exhaustion

Nah, he was some goofy-looking dude on Tuesday Night Tendies last year. I think they said he trained at Jackson-Wink

I can't take another failed submission attempt this is madness lmao

You mean Luis Pena?

ufc has had alot less submissions succeed in this year, sub are really dying off in effectiveness

look at rory/gracie

UFC is very cheap but you can't undersell the fact that the UFC has 40 some events a year where the NBA has 1230 regular season events a year plus about 75 playoff events. That means a shit load more revenue for a similar quantity of athletes per event

dana white's stinky smelly can series

zzzzz

Attached: heemsleepy.jpg (600x450, 19K)

Can’t wait for Dana to rip into these guys performance at the end of the show. Pathetic. I hope he offers zero contracts.

all this mangrab mmm

Attached: mmgay.webm (960x540, 2.9M)

So glad this fucking bum definitely isn't getting signed. Hope for basically this. Saw it pop up as I typed

Gonzales should actually get a contract he was too good

this retard is actually happy about that performance?? LOL

NO FINISH, NO CONTRACT.

Khabib is ducking Gonzalez

he sucks ass

>Ali in the audience again
Who is getting unjustifiably signed this time?

30-26, 30-26, and 30-26
>Hurr Durr he sucks

>laura being all touchy with these sweaty stinky fighters
she 100 percent rims her husbands asshole waht a lucky fucker

he decisioned a can. wow

NO FINISH, NO CONTRACT!

this isnt figure skating faggot

>humping some uber can to a decision
drawl & munster for sure

>averages nearly 1 takedown a minute
This wrestlebum isn't getting a contract

Lol shes low key exposing him

RUMBLE JOHNSON IN THE MAIN EVENT

he fought a can who was fighting two weight classes below what he normally fights at and couldn't finish him.

NO. CONTRACT.

Dana White's Tuesday Night Keep Undefeated Fighters Away From Bellator Series

DWTNKUFAFBS

Baeza put on a fun fight and was milliseconds from a finish, also won against a guy who missed weight by 7 pounds. He’ll get one if the next fight is shit

We are gonna be saved by the power of blacksplosion

I just had the same thought

Wait this is on ESPN+ now? Nice now I can watch it. Fight Pass should be dissolved.

cunningham will finish in under 30 seconds getting the only contract

daukaus is the only one deserving so far

>dana gives us 4 trashcan fights in a row to get us desperate and saves the BBC power for last to give us a heem
classic.

Attached: 14324157789004.png (400x400, 293K)

>ah gots me a sports sykologys n sheeeeeit

this boomer literally fought in strikeforce

Baeza scored 3 knockdowns vs a middleweight

Baeza gets it

>throwing punches with dumbbells
This guys getting heemed

looks like we got a couple of bangers, boys.

Attached: StandUpAndBang.jpg (400x209, 30K)

I’m hoping for another shitty decision wrestlefucking so we can get an epic Dana rant and roasting at the end of the show, topped off by NO FINISH, NO CONTRACT!

>despises wrestling
based

I just looked it up, it's Jordan "The Beverly Hills Ninja" Wright

>guy who literally outright says he hates wrestling Vs nog who has 100% heem rate
It's gonna be spicy

>100% finish rate
Poor little white boi

>tfw I serve up big macs
t-thanks bisping..

>black boii keeps shooting for takedowns
yeah im thinking no contract tonight

fuck this wrestlenog

gonzalez, Baeza could get a shot

hope we get some 2nd fights for some of the guys to try to finish another guy who won by decision

Loughane vs Gonzalez seems legit

>6'2 77 inch reach
OH NO NO NO

>american apartheid panic wrestling
lol

>Nig has 100% finish rate
>Is a wrestlefucker

Confirmed can

Fight pass is literally only for the obscure non-ufc shit and people not in the US

I wish dana had hair so we could watch him rip it out

>Doctor stoopage

Donkey Guard is the most realistic Guard in BJJ, because in involves getting attacked from behind while on your feet, instead of laying on your back and hoping an idiot has a nap with you

he fought like shit, lost 3rd round badly and most of the 2nd

These guys are terrible. I thought this show had some standards for the prospects it let on, but every fight today has been between utter cans.

heem hematomy

i buy fightpass for the complete library

Strikeforce wasn't that long ago, we're just now moving on from their middleweights

>be a blacksplosive heemer with 100% heem rate
>get even slightly pressured in striking
>immediately panic wrestle
DISGRACEFUL.

Hey bozo, what part of NO FINISH NO CONTRACT did you not fucking understand? We want killers in the UFC.

He clearly won the second.

ESPN+ has enough of the library for me it's not like I need to see every fucking fight

cunningham just spending his gas tank in the clinch doing absolutely nothing like a bum.

danas gonna hop over the cage and heem one of these bums himself

he lost the first 4 mins of the 2nd

just got home from work, how many fights left?

talent is talent, giving them another shot is not impossible

if you want finishes their is turbo cans with no defense, they also need legit fighters

Last fight. They didn't book any cans so no finishes so far

0

>lose first 2 rounds attempting shitty takedowns
>lay n pray in the 3rd

2000 fight iq from the nigger here

>3 rounds watching a pillow fisted decisionator
>we need more of this in the UFC
Yeah, nah. You're a cunt.

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What this format needs is an option to have Dana scream instructions through a megaphone in exchange for tips

lmao

holy fuck what a rough night I hope nobody gets a contract.

Nah

>Can’t get a finish at the “prospect” level
>Talent

I’m gonna go with no. Send these bums to Bellator.

committed to the clinch

Based retard

Scott Coker's Wednesday Morning Contract Signings

johnson easily won that fight, retard judges wont agree

kek

holy fuck,that eye

>5 fights
>5 shitty decisions

Based Dana about to rip into all these bums. NO FINISH NO CONTRACT

Attached: IMG_5967.jpg (480x360, 8K)

LMAO

WRESTLENOGS BTFO

Wait.... what?

lmao so hard

>lay and pray for three rounds
>throw sloppy haymakers and knees in the last 15 seconds
>what you mean no contract??? I wuz fighting the whole time!!!
Back to the minor leagues

WRESTLEFAGS IN SHAMBLES

>easily
>can that can't even disengage off the clinch
How about both these bums just retire and chef it at Arby's.

based judges

bisping was always a piece of shit, even spit on dude's corner

Im so glad

>that failed handshake with laura sanko
I wish webmbro was here

He tried to warn us in the form of a song

k-kill me

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Hopefully Dana signs "I hate wrestling" Johnson and no one else just to spite all the grappleniggers tonight

NO FINISH NO CONTRACT!

>Rogan on UFC’s reported efforts to overturn Jon Jones’ only loss: ‘I am in agreement with this 100%’
bloodyelbow.com/2019/6/25/18758965/ufc-jon-jones-overturn-only-loss-joe-rogan-agreement-hamill-mma-news

youtube.com/watch?time_continue=29&v=u3uRVUO4LrA

Based or Cringe

Of course Rogan wants his bull to have his loss overturned. Jones was clearly landing 12-6 elbows, was warned and kept going. One of the few times Mazagatti actually did his job correctly.

if dana signs any of these bums the UFC is in trouble.

rivera said in a video "do you know that most koalas have chlamydia?" which was really a jab at bisping's aussie wife. mike wasn't having the extra spicy bants.

>I’M GONNA KILL HIM, I’M GONNA KILL HIM

based

>wrestlefucking a bouncer
we can't fuckin escape it boys

Business idea: dump green slime on the non-contract winners like on those old Nickelodeon shows

name a more flushed fighter

>All those heavy favorites

What did that payout +250 if that.

rogan is a joke. he tows the line perfect for dana. if some 12-6 elbows happened in the last fight he called he'd be screaming for the ref to stop the fight and all that other bs he says

Fucking based BJ, every bouncer alive is an insufferable cunt
Hopefully we get one more run at the strap out of this W

I hope they post this on bjpenn.com

Way to nip it in the bud

based and slime pilled

holy shit that lad swung on BJ what a friend

>I hope they post this on bjpenn.com
no. please no. we're finally rid of the bjpenn.com OPs.

Eye is seriously the corniest personality in the ufc

LMAO

i fuckin knew dana went soft after last week

no fucking logic

Yellow card on that buddeh. Any more slander and I'll revoke your /heem/ pass

You try dealing with drunk fuck wits all night who try to throw glass bottles and shit at you when you aren't looking because you rejected them on account of the vomit down their shirt.

for sure dont get knocked out b

>decision fest
>2 contracts one was a midget who couldn't even smash a 12-7 can
What the fuck

>Dana explains why he's signing the Ali fighters
Fucking dipshit signed the worst fighter on the card

damn I wanted that guy to get a contract

Dana White's Tuesday Night Speech Impediment

Does anyone know where Max Holloway is from? His accent is kind of weird, he looks Latin, but his last name sounds very white.

Ali's Wednesday night ufc signining

im not even staying for these dumbass interviews staring at lauras titties aint even worth it. shoulda been no contracts tonight i almost fuckin fell asleep

I hate how they tell BJ over and over to stop, literally begging him to let it go, but as soon as someone actually tries to get BJ off of him they all act like he's the villain. They pretend like they want the fight to stop but really they just want BJ to win. this is the same behavior that the nogs in the hood exhibit. I can't wait until CTEJ Penn kills himself.

Attached: bj_yair.jpg (1040x572, 106K)

bj can't let the fight game go. dude needs to find another hobby and move on

>they tell BJ to get off because they do not like people getting heemed on the street
>one of them tries to do the same thing BJ is doing by attempting to heem him
>wtf why are they objecting????
based retard

>Both is Ali’s fighters got contracts

I can’t even begin to imagine the type of dirt he has on Dana

it's the ride that never ends

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You got it backwards

How did both of Ali’s fighters manage to get contracts?

Attached: file.png (576x32, 9K)

BRAH BRAH BRAH
BRAH BRAH BRAH
BRAH BRAH BRAH
BRAH BRAH BRAH
i wouldn't last 5 minutes on that island

what are the chances of BJ having goodridge tier CTE when he hits his late 40s

>your friend starts a fight and is winning
>do nothing
>friend stops winning
>immediately jump in and act like a victim
if they didn't want to see BJ heem that dude why did they make no effort to stop him or break up the fight? only once BJ started actually getting hit did they care about breaking it up

that reminds me, who'd team tractor here?

Attached: prazeres spittle.webm (1280x720, 2.94M)

unironically 100%, he isn't even retired yet

who's*

Should have been 0 contracts. There were 0 finishes, so there should have been 0 contracts. Can’t wait for these bums to get starched when they fight real UFC talent. Will be easy money betting against them kek.

is it true both the cans dana signed are with literal 9/11 terrorist Ali Abdel Aziz?

That is correct. Ali only had 1 fighter on last episode and he got signed as well

BJ is literally just laying and praying, their reaction of telling him to knock it off and get off the guy is relatively appropriate. The guy attempting to heem BJ is an escalation of violence and they escalate their reaction in response.
Overall I see this as a good referee decision and a 10-8 for BJ

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what top fighters does Ali have with the UFC? just khabib? did they threaten to leave ufc since the vegas incident?

gastellum, cejudo, usman

Attached: prazeres-vs-fabinski-2.webm (1280x720, 2.93M)

franklin

I wish DWTNCS was around back when Khabib was coming up so we got to see Dana seethingly tell him to fuck off back to Shitholeistan and no contract for him

stand up & bang dana is best timeline

Dana’s only signing these shitty cans so he can fill out his garbage watered down ESPN+ cards.

Why is dana so good at seeing the story of the fight?

[FLUSHING INTENSIFIES]

junior beats francis into a living death

Rapists who put children in cages are the BEST

you're not a real person

Attached: michel romero prazeres.webm (1280x720, 2.92M)

he was born with a special gift and its helped him turn the ufc into the biggest fight promotion of all time

It's simple.
Heem or attempt to heem and you win.
Hump or attempt to hump and you lose.

Was it autism?

how do you fix this card? 31 days and there is no good fights

Attached: 240.png (277x230, 9K)

Lads, jones vs trt vitor is free on youtube. Probably one of my favorite fights to watch imo. Roided up vitor going after Jones. Good times.

is this the Brendan Schaub general?

literally who: the PPV

based

Jones tapped

Is this was tailgating parties for NFL games are like?

youtube.com/watch?v=vqdSwkTUtsc

watched it earlier. Forgot how close vitor got with that arm

By deleting meme filler cards and putting the RDA/Edwards and Colby/Lawler fights on it.
The cards are so terribly watered down now. Look at the absolute fucking state of this august card

Attached: IMG_5970.jpg (640x978, 106K)

whats funny is how jones was shitting on dana hard for "allowing" vitor to fight him juiced and knowing. Then goes on to shit on cormier for blaming steroids for those wins against him.

Wow that is absolute cancer I will probably skip that trash

those

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honestly don't even know anymore with Beej

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fuck off, Just Bleed - you don't even understand the sport. You're here for the "entertainment product", not the athletics.

>womens flyweight
>flyweight
>womens flyweight
>bantamweight
>featherweight
>womens strawweight
>HEAVYWEIGHT
>womens flyweight main even

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>watch an asian movie on netflix
>it has bisping and michael jai white in it

noice.

>Half-naked fortysomethings beating the shit out of each other
Sometimes

What movie user

TAKE YOUR TIME BEEJAY

Somehow worse than 240

Why did Chuck look so insanely bad?

He clearly has impaired motor skills from years of head trauma.

He looks impaired to the point of needing a carer, he could barely keep his balance or focus his eyes. I say with full confidence that I think at least half this thread could heem Chuck today.

Tito is undefeated against washed up cans
>retired Bonnar
>retired Chuck
>BTFO chael on his run at the strap
He is coming for machida next

Yea it was actually sad to watch. You can tell just from how shakey he is that he’s got early stages of Parkinson’s or some other brain disease

KEK, imagine being a fan of the countduckula

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Triple Threat
He's one of the main baddies

Reminder that /heem/ will never see KOs this kino.

youtube.com/watch?v=mS4i7a-L-9M

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You just can't let it go can you luke

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Stivrene is a Total bum. Anyone could heem some lard ass who just stands in front and lets you haul

Based OP

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wilder is ducking the ford escort

Attached: Time's Up Wilder.webm (1280x720, 2.93M)

fat

gay

Ngannou’s KO vs Overeem is better. Ngannou has 50lbs of muscle on this stick and has the same reach. Ngannou unironically heems Wilder in MMA and KOs him in boxing

Marreta folds Jones like an origami

gay

you like cottage cheese?

Can we show box that our heems are better?

youtube.com/watch?v=Z3M0Oy_HAfQ
>ywn live this guy's life and be a 6'5 homeless chad travelling the world without a dollar in your pocket getting gibs from rich girls
Why even live?

Please don't post Rogan here. This is a high IQ general.

Which one is more flushed, Toilet Till or MoiCANo?

thank you

Rogan could put you into an intellectual armbar and theres nothing you could do about it, facts

Both are faggot cutbabbys who need to move up a weight class and fight guys their actual size

>thinks he is an intellectual
>doesn't even use Alpha Brain 15% percent off with the coupon ONNIT

youtube.com/watch?v=HoEn2RuZxdA

for me, its Vovchanchyn destroying people

>also don't forget the Buffalo bar, healthy and nutritious snack when you crave something good. This week go to onnit.com put the code ROGAN and you'll get 10% off of your first purchase. Doo it now!

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Post kino stoppages

Attached: 1447984086543.webm (1280x720, 2.88M)

>that stoppage
this is your brain on pot

Weidman=me
Munoz= my dick

Attached: Fight back, CB.webm (644x360, 2.85M)

What does elbowing your peepee feel like?

I’ve finally taken the redpill, I never thought I’d ever say this. But after watching Khabib-Conor Main Event Special on TV earlier, my mind has been changed. My mind has been changed in that the fight was WAY more competitive than I’d originally thought. He was beating the shit out of Khabib on the feet. His cardio has increased and held up tenfold. Conor not only won the third round against Khabib, but he won the first round, but he was winning most of the fourth round, but he won the story of the fight, and most importantly, Conor McGregor won the fight against Khabib Nurmagomedov that night. And he will win the war.

Conor beats Khabib in the rematch and I don’t have a single doubt in my mind about it. He is the greatest fighter to ever walk the planet.

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Why not just tap? It couldn't have made him look worse than that.

He quit on the stool right after this

Junior heems Francis

Attached: jds1.jpg (240x200, 9K)

based conor truther

so many weird rare strikes we need a ko from

rolling thunder and shoulder strike would be nice, a knock down usually gives a good gif but KOs will always be special

want someone to pull off the thing benson henderson did a few times where he had a kick caught and trying to do the spinning kick using the other leg

Lmao

I absolutely despise Herb Dean, disgusting subhuman nigger

Attached: Rockhold flushing Weedman.webm (640x360, 2.84M)

Damn he knocked the hair off his head

I bet somebody like Ryan Hall could work out a rolling thunder type kick that looks like one of his meme rolls for a split second

Fuck lads I want to go back :(

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>mfw ive trained under based peter graham

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>title fight
>last 30 secs of the round
>not letting the champ a chance

>this was nearly 6 years ago

AAAAAAAAAAAAA

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Didn't Silva lose his belt a longer time ago than his reign as champ? Must be close.

>why yes, I do tap to strikes, how did you know?

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Just about
Late 2006 - mid 2013
mid 2013 - present

Remember when Cain knocked down JDS in their rematch

Attached: 1453659650505.jpg (500x333, 45K)

Feel like shit just want him back
youtube.com/watch?v=t41fFAN4Pd8

Attached: hendricks.jpg (1600x900, 315K)

youtube.com/watch?v=3GZvnR1fX1I

Attached: two.jpg (1280x720, 96K)

i have a gut feeling jones is gonna get heem'd. if he presses forward and takes shot but pushed non stop it will throw him off. bank this jones KO'd late 1 round

He got beat
And when I say beat I mean BEAT

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this is my very drunk analysis. he has to prut pressure in his face, you can let jones in range where you get picked

now once jones gets heem'd we can be rid of danas baby fighter

I literally cant picture it. I cant picture jon not being in control of a fight. The mental picture is just not there for me.

>For me it's Brown Pyle

this will force a DJ Jones fight for the rubbermatch. THE DC retirement matcn

then you haven't pictured johnny walker

You good bruh?

Fresh schmo, guys

youtu.be/g1lZt09nmlQ

i can see it because his opponent knows he can't stand on the outside. he's got get in close and make it ugly. if hr does that it will rattle him. all his energy has got to go in the first round all or nothin strat. if he stars feeling him out bs then its over

yeah, it's all about the mix ups, he also has done a imanari roll to up kick that landed on maynard, i wonder if he could combo that into a single leg if it stuns them as they lean back to avoid the kick, even if he just drops to 50/50 he can knee bar most men faster then they can pick the right leg to pull out

For me it's Bang Kuntz

Attached: ufc seoul.jpg (960x960, 91K)

>J-Jon will l-lose......... THIS time!!!!!

everyone: ...
sperg: >J-Jon will l-lose......... THIS time!!!!!

>try to close distance
>get eyepoked
HE IS ALWAYS IN CONTROL

in other words mr hammer chest needs to press the match the entire time and basically maul him the fights where jones is siiting on the outside mean you're getting picked apart. i'm confident hammer chest will give him no room press and press. putting 5,000 right now on it

That's a lot of reddit in one post there

>Holly jumped up to #1 and De Randamie dropped to #3 for literally absolutely no fucking reason out of the blue

these rankings are so stupid

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i notice jones starts his fight slow. i say he needs to not wait for what he does and just get in ther and bang

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victory for hammer chest BiG UPSET. and then you will remember what i said HEEM my high fight IQ

Phoneposting sucks

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jon just takes him down and mauls him on the ground.
Why are we acting as if Jon doesn't also have GOAT tier fight IQ also? He's not going to get hit by a sloppy heem, it's why hes never ever been rocked once.
He watches a lot of tape and examines every opponent before the fight.
If anyone thinks this bum has a chance they're fucking delusional.

i think he will strike with him thiago is a chinlet and jon likes to embarrass his opponents

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because jon arrogance will get him killed. he will wait and wait for counterstrike when the fight opens. jones is not aggressive anymore he feels out opponents. big hammer chest need to surprise and bulldoze him, get it close and just go all out in 1 round all the enegery. this is my fight plan drunk on many vodka

>hasn't fought in 5 years
>why has she gone down the rankings?

when mr hammer chest winns the fight please remember me

Screencapped

sure, bud

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Get in my guard

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if jon eye poke i say keeo opossite hand open to block but hus eye poke is usual conast jab he's not trying to full punch but just get the eye. to prevent his hand palm flat and block then attack with speed. fighters make a mistake trying to circle jones you will never win because his reach is like one of those mr sretch armsrtong toys

you have to bull doze in almost like a low running back and as you go up protect on up and then flurry jackto the attack. once he is hit you can take the hand covering your eye down and begin combo. now you should be very close to him but be war of front or side keep that he could do to keep distancy. unirinacolly i dhon't think hs ground game is good he will keep it up top he's cocky like that he believe he can ko him

How can you lose to Jones bro ahahahahahaha like bro just close your eyes run towards him and swing haymakers hahahaha like bro how is that hard

or a smarter thing to do; is tell ref herb dean that please watch eye poke. or another ting you can do is use thick contact eyedrops before fight to mititage the pressure UFC don't allow this but secret

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i know big hammer chest will win because i know how he fights. he is old school and 1 fighter a lot of boomer moves

ok 1 more drink and gone

Tony bless

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if eyepokes are a real problem why don't they wear swimming glasses

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do any of you even have a wikipedia page u f*cking bums

The fact of the matter is Jon Jones is a very good fighter and it will take someone who is very good to beat him.

Wake up jon

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Johnny Walker

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how many times will jon eye poke mr hammer chest?
my guess is 6

I have#t seen the odds, but I think Thiago has even less chance of being JBJ than Smith did.

beating*

marreta will fold jones like a empty wallet

Who wins in this weekend's upcoming main event? That's easy. I can whittle it down to two: Either JDS or Ngannou.

I'm the best ever. I'm the most brutal and vicious, and most ruthless champion there's ever been. There's no one can stop me. Aspen Ladd is a conqueror? No, I'm Rashad Evans, he's no Luigi Fioravanti. I'm the best ever. There's never been anybody as ruthless. I'm Gray Maynard,I'm Ricardo Lamas. There's no one like me. I'm from their cloth. There's no one that can match me. My style is impetuous, my defense is impregnable, and I'm just ferocious. I want your heart. I want to eat his children. Praise be to Allah.

Imagine tapping with one literal second to go.

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disgusting illegal strike attempt.
Only jon is allowed to cheat. Its like a video game. Jon has already completed the game so he is allowed to fuck around and enable big head mode or whatever. He has already won. Bums are not allowed to cheat because they are shit and are using the cheat codes to win when they cannot win in the first place.

*kisses vanquished opponent*

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DON'T HEEM ME BRO

I don't like seeing UFC fighters fighting in charity events. They are on UFC contracts. They should not be fighting in other organisations - including charities.

settle down Mr Grinch

prime schaub would heem ngannou

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never doubt myboy

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>ywn live in the timeline where Pride bought out the UFC

>7-7 record in the ufc
>2-3 record in bellator
>9-10 artem-like negative overall record in the biggest mma organisations

amazing goat you've got there heem...

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France is apparently going to legalise MMA events in France now. Guess I will no longer take the piss out of the French for being sissies. Oh wait, yes I will.

He didn't impress me against Albini. He's going to get heemed as soon as he faces a top 10 guy.

also has a nasally beta voice

>won 4 rounds against Silva
>Silva only won 1 round

>effectively beat the MW GOAT

As soon as he flushes Tuivasa you'll jump on the bandwagon.

I'll put my money on bambam

>I'll put my money on bambam
You probably did his last two fights, bet you were sure Manuwa was beating Santos too.

>well you saw me lose some fights my last 13 fights were all against world champions tell me anybody else that has that schedule

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Bet you're the kind of goof who says Chael wasn't a great fighter.

The worse their record, the cuter they become, the more they are /mygirl/

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2019 Chael fans are like 2017 Coral Springs.

I train BOTH of my hands. Do any of you do that? Do any of you train both of your hands? Because I do. Why do I train both hands? So I can punch you with either hand!

I could Heem you with one punch tho

Which fighter do you think the majority of this general could get off the couch and heem? No WMMA or manlet divisions count.
I think I could definitely heem RDA. Like if I just walked up to him and started swinging wildly. i reckon i could put him out.

chuch liddel easily

Toilet peeco. Hes so flushed at this point you could sneeze in his direction and wobble him

Define heem

Hillary voters are delusional urban retards that vote against their future transgender childrens interests

instagram.com/p/BzKJ4fqgmcN/?igshid=1ouzkjuagru1d

Yeah i'm thinking he's back

Heem
1. (noun) The act of heeming someone, especially in MMA
synonyms: BTFO, Flush, Send Back to the Fight Night Prelims, Finna Ended That Nigga Whole Career, BLACKED (in the case of a negroid combatant performing the heem on a human combatant), Toilet Tilled

>on a human combatant
reported

Bj penn or fedor

Is there any good fight for him?

Handsome
Eastern
European
Men

>training partner clearly imitating gooby
HYPE

>didn't see BJ btfoing the bouncer
Enraged Motivated Drunken BJ kills everybody in this general with his bare hands

>couldn't even submit that guy

You’re an idiot

early in the morning
rising to the heem

>I think I could definitely heem RDA.
I think you probably couldn't

Next hw title fight will be ngbu stiopic 2

>nate comes back
>nate-tony-gooby is hype fight vortex
>(You)fc is more open to it because they got no hype fights at all lately
>Colby&Askren win, WW gets clusterfucked
>WW pussies finaly have no options but to call out Khabozo
>Nate, Tony & Gooby say fuck it and go for money fights instead of belt
>Khabozo is freezed out in his own shittiness a la Snoozley
>Colbsy starts shit talking, Askren starts "weight+wraslin opponents" arguments
>abdula fans DEMAND move to WW, MUH HONOR&SMESH
>Colby/Askren/Usman wins
Not as good as Tony win, but at least this timeline is not cursed.

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Lmao what the FUCK is with the new age tribal music
m.youtube.com/watch?v=YEUFNN_tgRQ

A great era
- Peak Cain
- Peak JDS
- Werdum's Strikeforce & UFC run (Werdum vs Overeem 2 is one of the funniest fights ever)
- TRT Bigfoot
The list goes on

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drug testing ruined mma

>great news guys we've got an improved EPO testing method

GOAT era

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There have still been trace amounts of a long-term steroid metabolite found in Jones' system in recent tests, Bennett said. It is the same metabolite Jones first tested positive for nearly two years ago.

espn.com/mma/story/_/id/27054665/jones-licensed-nsac-okd-ufc-239

Bet the house on jones

The McGregor era was unironically GOAT

>touching his dick
very intimidating

Contender Jones was great fun
>mfw he beat Bader and got the surprise shot
Dude seemed invincible. Now he just is invincible.

Yeah, doubt we ever get a run like this again
youtu.be/VXvg4ioc0wQ

I'm glad Holly got punched after the bell and lost because Holly Holm is a steroid cheat.

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I think you'd be surprised.

Who is your favorite female fighter? For me, it's Amanda "the Lioness" Nunes.

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Weili Zhang
Kanna Asakura
Angela Lee
Michelle Waterson
KING Reina
RENA

Paulie thought he was going to Heem Conor and he ended up getting decisions by artem.

I like how Jon Jones is proving how bullshit that 3rd Metabolite is. Literally there is no science in how long that will last in your system

He fucking lived and breathed steroids lmao

Post

youtu.be/u3uRVUO4LrA
I bet that crushed the bouncers ego.

Chaels making a vid on u right now kiddo, kiss your heem account goodbye

Amanda is what I like to call a "real dyke"
She truly is lesbian. I mean she like women and doesn't like men. Isn't that the definition of lesbian?
So what do I mean by "real dyke". I just to you what I mean! She only like women!

But you say to me "But we KNOW that! That is the definition!"

But WAIT! Most girls claiming to be lesbians (more specifically real dykes) are not really lesbians! They are just denying their attraction to men. And a womanly attraction for another woman is perfectly normal! It didn't matter if women found each other attractive during caveman times when we were evolving! A man would grab them and breed them either way! So MOST women have evolved some sort of homosexual attraction. There was not much selection against it compared to selection against male homosexuals! If a guy spends his time going after men as he does with women, he'll be at an evolutionary disadvantage! So homosexuality has been bred out of heterosexual men in a way that hasn't occurred with heterosexual women!

Isn't this post getting long?
So how can you tell a real dyke from a fake dyke? A real dyke is butch! That quirky little petite feminine girl you know who claims to be lesbian? She isn't! She is bisexual. Only butch masculine motherfuckers like Amanda THE LIONESS Nunes are real dykes. Full of testosterone!

Is Ansaroff a real dyke? Hard to tell, to be honest. She is much more masculine than most women, but she still looks feminine enough to be a bisexual. I'd wager that she IS a real dyke.

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Do you guys remember when Amanda Nunes (or as I like to call her "The Big Brown Dyke"! (BBD)) smashed Valuntina Schevchenko? (or as I like to call her "The little cumflake") I remember! Boy I was excited. Virile!
What an iamge!
Watching the BBD DESTROY the little cumflake was dastardly but good. Evil. To take such a joy in it is simply evil! But I do. I do take joy in it! Ahahahahaha. Suffer, little cumflake! Suffer under the hammer of the BBD!
I was cheering her on. I wanted more. I wanted suffering. Suffer ad know your place, little cumflake! Suffer and submit!

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For me, personally? I'd have to say Amanda Nunes.

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reminder that mcgregor hasn't won a fight in years and has never defended a belt.

BJ's first win in ages.

youtube.com/watch?v=4lI0F0CPjcE

Embededed

Most bouncers are actually chill as fuck, are only doing the job specifically as the manager of the bar/club instructed and just want to go home to their families safely.

>couldnt heem fatguy
>shirtless
>shoeless
>drunk
>island gook methhead
yeah thats gonna a kek from me dawg

You just gotta watch out for the manlet bouncers cos they got something to prove

Bouncers appreciate a good riddle.
If a bouncer is refusing to let me into a club, I'll approach him with a good riddle, or some other brainteaser.
They appreciate a good bit of intellectualism.

thats a fact, theyre even more enraged if their bald

I have literally never seen a bouncer that isn't bald

This pic is what's wrong with America.

I once let a drunk dude in because he took his gf's bunny ears, started hopping and said "look i'm bouncing bro i'm one of you guys"

they dont make em like they used to

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this, I've been in a couple situations where I've bumped into a bouncer. one time it was a giganigga and his first instinct was checking if i was alright, the other was some roided but fat manlet wog who tried physically throwing me out before his colleagues and some good samaritans intervened

Europe is gay.

Holy shit that's true. Once tried to go to a bar, I passed but my pal was too drunk he wouldn't let him so I said "oh fuck" to my friend dissappointed. The bouncer instantly jumps and grabs my collars with both hands like fucking madman like I insulted him. Just trying to get anything to showoff.

good point, sometimes you cant tell cuz their wearing a black hat backwards

i have seen a couple with the hitler youth fade

is there anything more REDDIT than hating a fighter because hes "muh bad person"

If BJ's real name is Jay Dee then why do they call him BJ

Because his nickname is Baby Jay but you probably already knew that

Based.

I didn't think of that, I think I'm getting BJ levels of CTE

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yes, laughing at ''3 piece n a soda" n "my ballz wuz hott"

youtube.com/watch?time_continue=24&v=qKzh18yGKo0
lads what did he mean by this?

Literally name something more based than Khabib jumping out of the cage.

If le epin sperguson did that you would all start instantly stroking your pimple dicks.

Aldo jumping out of the cage

I don't know, but pretty sure our close friend janitor made that. For free.

jon jones ia a psychopath and a horrible person

And for those reasons.... Im thinking he's based

let me make the thread

Nope, he's a devout Christian, millionaire, husband and father. You on the other hand, I'm thinking 5 feet flat, I'm thinking with the 100k net worth.

he blowjobs on penises probably lol

khabib smesh the type of guy to send location to picogram bear and give his hot balls the Three piece and a soda, boom roasted

I’ll allow you to make a backup thread, I am making the official one though.

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I wanted to keep this private because I almost felt bad for Aussie poster. But now I will let heem judge for themselves.

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Champ Shit Only xp

You can try, fag.

Bj penn more like blow job penn lol

>Max vs Volkanovski
>Cyborg rematch with Dyke chick (I forget her name)
>Have the Yair vs Zabit fight for who should get next title shot.
Anyone of those changes by itself would make it a semi decent card.

I’m not sure I’m following you haha?

Colby vs Lawler is the fight

BJ is slang for blow job lol feel free to repost

Nah he's a world karate point fighting champion, that's how they fight

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In many ways......

what the hell is a 'blow' job

Michelle's father is caucasian I don't think she should be on your list. Maybe swap her out for UFC bantamweight Wu Yanan.

he looks like he can palm a basketball

Everyone that beats up other people for a living is a psycho

tmz.com/2019/06/25/bj-penn-fight-strip-club-bouncer-cops-called-ufc/
Who won, BJ or the doorman?

Dana 60 (you)s baby!

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she is fucking swole holy guacamole

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yeah you're right i mean who the fuck is THAT guy haha sweet

Y’ever seen blow the belt with Brendan Schaub? Should tell you all you need tknow my man

Friendly reminder.
archive.4plebs.org/sp/thread/92699819/#92700825

I hope he gets 20 years minimum.

He is bigger than the average nba player tbf

Okay!
We get it!
Cody's hot wife stopped having sex with him after he lost to TJ. We don't need to keep on being reminded about it.

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Heem, I need you to engage

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dimey dimes, the cody sitruration is getting dicey dicey

You think Cody ever uhhh swaps his wife for the sister

twitter.com/SUG_Grappling/status/1143553337100365824
Christ you’re all retarded paulie was right

she more masculine than i'll ever be :^(

For what? Living in your head rent free and violating your asshole into eternal buttpain?

Basedskren is major reddit. Masoydal became so meta and reddit thats hes become ironically unironic Yea Forums

The knocked out guy is a terrible striker. Just throws a hand out randomly and doesn't protect his face at all. Like a no-chin version of Ted Cheeseman

At least I’m not bj penn

And she's fucked more women too

>The knocked out guy
Imagine being this cazzie

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cazzies

the fuck

out

Official

TIMELINE:

>MMA barely noticed except when call "Human cockfighting" by John McCain
>Pancrase
>UFC
>Pride
>Saku/Bob Sapp
>Tito
>Chuck
>Fedor
>GSP
Everything great so far - sport growing and growing!
>Lesnar
>Honda
GSP & Lesnar leave
>Honda hype train is HUGE
>Conor
>Honda dies
>Conor hype train HUGE
>Conor/Diaz I & II
>Conor hype train HUGE-R
>Conor/Mayweather hype train!!!
>Conor shits the bed against Mayweather
>General public laughs at MMA, then forgets it
>Conor hype train derailed
>Conor dominated by Khabib
>Conor hype train a smoking wreck
>MMA growth dead
>BJ Penn extends sad af losing streak to 15 or 20
>BJ Penn now fighting local bouncers in the street
Y O U
A R E
H E R E

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give us a future projection timelineman, where will MMA be in 20 years?

>page 4