/cric/ OFFICIAL ENGLAND VS AUSTRALIA WORLD CUP GAME THREAD #2

GAMON UMP

Haloooo

Imagine being named after a toe

not seeing any natural variation out there lads

ump is elite ngl

absolute state of that umpiring

nice to meet you
youtu.be/ZTrYBU_wocY?t=9

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L M A O
M
A
O

Donald Trump is #nomypresident

Reckon england needs more intent so they capitalise on their chances

farter looking shit

last digit is how many wickets England win by

Business idea: Lofted cover drives

reckon england wish they hadn't dropped two catches and been on the wrong side of an umpire's call lads

How do traps get full on tits?

>Mel

Make it fucking stop please

Please stop posting ladyboys and start posting westernized Asian sloots

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based mountain street shitter

>Roy
was it autism lads

phone's ringing, it's the boss

Bit sexist there lad

BAD news bros..

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>that autism roy stare to the panning camera

Look at the fucking fungus infection on the wicket table! See those circles, it’s basically ringworm. Disgraceful England

Isa :D

oh gd gd

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archer doesn't look english to me

She sounds exactly the same as that other woman commentator

#LONDONISOPEN

here, pic of the gf. watching cricket with her right now

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well he is mate and that's enough out of you

Officeworks makes bigger things happen apparently
Hope it works on my penis during sex

> isa
muh dick

Rain looms

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warner looks like he's going to get out with every fucking delivery

How do you look a citizenship mate?

Got a blocked nose boys. Help?

isa wet at the thought of being reunited with KOK come the ashes

Cringe

You don’t look like an abo

go grab a nasal spray from the pharmacy. works fucking wonders

that bod is ridiculous

Dat ringworm. I cannot unsee it

reckon england are thinking about taking some wickets here lads

the boys seeing it like watermelons lads

mum used to suck it out with her mouth, ask your mum to do that

Shut your cazzie mouth

Domino's Philly Cheesesteak Pizzas and McNugget 50-packs

I can't focus on the cricket when isa is commentating because her soft buttery caramel voice puts me in a trance

He's the most british looking lad in the squad, apart from moeen

indigestion on the cards lads

>that fucking movement
what the FUCK lads

haha so is it going to stop swinging soon?

where the fucking wicket

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physically recoiled reading this.

Otrivin my nigga. Only use as per instructions.

>Mumbai hospital
RIP his kidneys, eyes and liver.

It'll stop swinging as soon as we bowl.

swinging and seaming like a mofo

There is Melbourne cricket club members in England?

NEED a skinny protestant aussie gf from brisbane

Why are there so many empty seats in the crowds?

sniff some white tiger balm mate

Classic jammy Australia

Imagine the smell.

I hope he's ok

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Sick about hearing the slope meme

BASED warner lads
darkie copping it

> 4.5 RR
grim

hello I'm a white englishman who likes cricket and rugby

would I be welcome in aus please respond

otrivin dependency is no fucken joke, they really do mean stop using it after a couple of days.

youtube.com/watch?v=uJLvM5ND3s4

Will Joe Root?

Grim

LBW when?

business idea: level out the pitch

Will Mark Wood?

BASED
yes lad but might i suggest watching aussie rules footy as well?

We're just full up last week sorry

What were those English ladies eating?

Name a more ridiculous saying than "there are many ways to skin a cat"

If the ground is uneven why don’t they just renovate it then laser level it like you would find at any suburban Australian cricket oval?

NEED Isa to suck me off while wearing an MCC jacket lads.

Expect banter about your accent but if you laugh with it and dont sperg out people will like you

Does this accurately represent /cric/?

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just don't be a fuckwit lad she'll be right.

Does Ricky Ponting take orders from Justin Langer?

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This video makes him look like the victim, but after having a browse of his channel I think there's more to it than that. The bloke is psycho

>female members
Disgusting

Racist

Poor lad unfortunately went near the ghanges and inhaled too many poo fumes. Praying for his speedy recovery

Where does something like that even originate? Surprised PETA isn't all over it.

fuck warner and finch have gotten so lucky

"We'll have a bowl mate."

>This video makes him look like the victim
It really doesn't

punter tells him what to do but pretends he's an assistant because he can't be fucked coaching year round and having to do shit like tour sri lanka

Has it always been pitching outside? Or am I having a brain fart

looks like justin farted

why aren't england just aiming at the stumps? Finch and warner are missing everything

220 is a par score here

Somehow neither of them seem to be industrious individuals

/cric/ is overwhelmingly no gf

I need a dollar dollar voiding my bowels is what I need

teams refuse to bowl at the stumps even though its proven very effective

Really talking up this pitch are the poms. Wonder why that could be?

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Does finchy have hearing problems or something?

England should win so pakis don't make it.

GET THEM OUT

>Women members
It's a no from me.

women are sub human and should be treated as animals

>took 200 years for women to become mcc members
fuck they managed to hold out pretty long

Considering going to sleep

>shart pood

Maccas doesn't give you diarrhea m8.

Finchy with the language

OH FUCK

There's more slope on this pitch than a Darwin tennis court.

God I wish I was that bloke with the asian gf

OH FUCK

just woke up lads

Just close you eyes and listen for 5 minutes x

based Asian gf lad

my boss has just absolutely gone off on one cos he's seen that the honours boards at lord's now have women on them
puttering to myself behind my monitor

Morning m8

based finchy

imagine the squawking in that room. yabbering about everything BUT cricket

Mark broke his Wood

we're winning lads

He looks decent enough. He shouldn't betray the white race by having an Asian girlfriend, but find a nice white wife to settle down and have children, hence increasing the fertility rate of White Australians.

based fucking boss.
absolute disgrace

Reckon American sports would pull it off air immediately after that naughty no no language

A few wallops could seal the deal here

Probably talking about men, bitching about each other and shopping, like they all do.

love a runs chase me

yikes

There not on THE board but they put them above the door for the balcony.

Reckon England will chase anything under 380

Reckon England are a bit garbage

yeah but qt asian gf

superior English commentary 2bh

>He looks decent enough. He shouldn't betray the white race by having an Asian girlfriend, but find a nice white wife to settle down and have children, hence increasing the fertility rate of White Australians.

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Shut your newcunt mouth

based

Good post.

getting very few (You)s

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Reckon most of my shits are runny

youtube.com/watch?v=k9n3-IwmY9M

good ol' JR loves it

>finch has a critical vunerability to the full in-nipper (as india showed repeatedly)
>bowl back-of-a-length shite
GJGE

Please win based Australians.

the incel pedo richo

even surfer chads have asian gfs now

have sex (with any race just have sex)

kys blank trip

reckon this isnt a 300+ pitch in all honesty.

same, it's weird. the usual forumla isn't working on the freshies today. i generally average 70+ per thread

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like in here you mean?

any TMS man in?

how contrived

This is the appearance of most white guys with Asian girlfriends.

Asian gf here AMA

@93727808
Good

have sex

based chink filter bro

Ahhh you coont

Does anyone else have smelly teeth? Like if I scrape some of the stuff my teeth it smells absolutely disgusting.

i'm the one posting asians in this thread mate

no I don't mean that at all you complete homo

come on straya play some fucken shots

>dermot

maybe its your fingers (or whatever implement you're using to scrape) that smells

Worrying trends, might have to switch up the tactics.

KEK based freshie making the /cric/ circlejerk regulars seethe

come to terms with the break up lads

brush your teeth you filthy cunt

Probably should give them a brush, mate.

>England opt to bowl
Aus go through today

@93727850
you need a new gimmick lad

What does this sentance mean?

Nah my other fingers smell fine, I brush and use mouthwash everyday so I don't know why it smells so horrid.

looking forward to Woakes running out of overs

what does sentance mean?

we're fucked lads

>THEY'RE GOING HOME

Andrew Sentance, CBE is a British business economist. He was Senior Economic Adviser to PwC, from November 2011 until October 2018 m8.

clean your tongue at all? does it look white?

me on the right when punter starts talking about his golf handicap

Not a big fan of how tolerant /cric/ is these days.

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Because their batsman are petrified of playing on anything other than a road

Imagine falling for the tooth brushing meme

>not flossing every day
fucken savage

England will be knocked out but fortunately don't have far to go home.

*tumbles over as you get slapped for 4*
heh

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Business idea: make a new trophy that is awarded to the holder of the bledisloe cup and the Chappel hadlee

Warners moving well.

Leaving for a couple of minutes, hope nothing happens during that time

rashid's gonna skittle this aussie team out in seven overs

This. I brush all of my teeth.

BASED Ruru poster

rashid plays for afghanistan mate

Imagine the smell

>We'll have a bowl

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*sniffs*

hmmm

KFC bucket for one seems like a shitload of food would definitely struggle

wood getting BTFO

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were masters of the gollabse with a last ditch tail end fiddy
shit changes quick cunts.

Haven't given a "you" to aussie or kiwi cunts on /cric/ for 2 years now.

Think we got 60% of our runs because they have fuck all fielders straight

dunno lads, i think we might have fucked it

Nah doesn't look white but I think I will, I thought it only affected your breath.

Will get right on it but some of my teeth don't have enough gap to get through.

its your only hope left

and oye hoye

>we'll have a bowl thanks

>Copestralia

Wood looking deadly here

You'd have to sit on the toilet while trying to finish it off.

J

>pood

haloooo

she smelled nice, especially her hair. mmm

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Test Match Special podcast

not a bad decision really, imagine starc in these conditions

That fucking Irish bastard has fucked us

300-0 I reckon.

>this over

OH NO NO NO

IT JUST KEEPS HAPPENING

me on the right

>M Knight Shayamalan stares down AVGN

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blessed image

IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE OUR YEAR

surprised at how these two typically useless cunts stood up to the moving ball

Personally reckon the meal deals are stupid. They need more flexibility and decrease the cost of single chicken pieces. Wish I could just go in and ask for x amount of chicken but its a lot more expensive than the big meals

youve got the best batting lineup in the tournament and anything can happen m8.

>bowl first
>overcast conditions, grass on the pitch, ball swinging wildy
>71-0 (14)
reckon this isnt going to plan for england lads

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stop talking about poo all the time

I'm going to top all Australians in this thread

they are livid about this unsuccessful toss arn't they

is Smith still pretending he's captain?

finishing off last nights pint

cumGOD will clean up here lads

Same lad, you need to buy these. You can bite down on them to get them between the teeth. Gotta floss under the gum on both sides of the teeth, not just in the middle. You're gonna bleed heinously for a couple of weeks before your gums get used to it though.

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Is sawdust cheating?

>Run rate: 5.07

Wow it's nothing, EZ lads

>pretending

Go to make some breakfast. Turn on 5live. ANOTHER women.

Sick of it lads, absolutely livid.

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stokes ey

He's an actor mate, that's what he does

If Jof hits Smith in the head with a bouncer we take a moral victory

Lyon is probably the most anti-English player in the Australian side

reckon england are looking for a wicket here

You made a shit call at the toss Eoin

Just seen the fixture run in lads, if we don't win this we are fucked

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the chicken's the most expensive thing they sell
they're better off forcing you to buy their rehydrated potatos with fryer scraping gravy and 2c worth of shredded cabbage

thank god our batsmen will get 400 without so much as breaking a sweat or i might be starting to get a bit worried here

not so sure Tbh

Hate those. Waste of plastic. I like the Reach freshburst stuff.

Need to go to the dental hygienist soon too. Always feel so good after.

>not being able to polish off a streetwise feast in a test session.
softcunts

Do it, they're all asking for it.

reckon you'll beat nz and india tb h

i really like this stand seems pretty comfy

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kek potato fag BTFO

Mum got those, I'll give it a whirl now.

for me its short asian gf

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Goodnight lads

Guha has a good voice for cricket, she's a typical cocunut though.

Those lunch meal things are the most economical option, literally cheaper to buy a bunch of those than it is to get a bucket but you get stuck with a bunch of sides you don't want.

wood got Australia on the ropes

boundary ropes that is

was meant to be with above post

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based fucking finch lads

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Not a fan of these insects tbqh.

been on these for a couple of years, still bleed a worrying amount

What happened to Wood's run-up where he put that foot back and pushed off it??

>fistbumps after adjusting cock
Aussie are savages

you've all changed your tune, haven't you

Oh for sure, plackers are shitarse, there are much better constructed brands. Love going to see the hygienist, she always grazes my head with her massive tits.

not a fan of this post tbqh.

India have basically relied on Rohit and Bumrah to give them the edge, they've not been smashing teams. England will be praying for Roy to heal

>lands a 147 kph yorker bang on middle
>doesn't even look remotely threatening

fascinating bowler wood

Business idea: wiggets

finch is fucking desperate to get out here
he doesn't want to be out there

I've been defending Finch for a long time tbf. Just dont think he should open in test cricket

>shart pood

reckon england is wishing they didnt drop two catches lads

Last year I was in puerto rico and I met this acupuncturist, 26.
I tell you this broad's ass was the second coming, never wore any panties.
Brushed her teeth with tequila, every night she used to drink me under the table and I would eat her out while I was down there.

He's a middle order player in the long form. The selectors were retarded making him open.

starting to think wood is a bit of a meme

If England lose this it will be absolutely embarrassing if they are allowed to win the world cup. Imagine losing three times (at least) in a world cup at home.

why the FUCK are there adds on kayo? what happened to adbreak free?

Reckon the speed gun has an England setting to make them seem scarier than they really are

There's always ads during the drinks break on Fox. It's gaylord

starting to thing english bowling is a bit of a meme

which will you watch the cricket with?

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Why doesn't Maxwell open? Also what happened to Chris Lynn. Love memesloggers. Hate technically sound batsmen.

oh nononononono

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>Mel Jones

>literally all look the same
lmao

Might chuck one punch man on. Getting bored of this

thought england were supposed to have elite bowling?

He gets 16(10) every game

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They all look the same despite having different skin color

>Australia posting 380
>England chasing it down inside 40 overs

>al qaeda spinners
>elite

"no" they're a batting side only

maxwell is only good for meme hitting, would be a terrible opener. Lynn is dogshit and should never set foot on a cricket pitch again.

Gareth "The Architect" Southgate

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370 on the cards here lads

getting the feeling England might want a wicket soonish

maybe he means which hairstyle you prefer

england will get 350 at best

Just did my table predictor lads

1. India
2. Australia
3. New Zealand
4. Pakistan

cricketworldcup.com/bracket-challenge

what do you reckon he was describing lads

Moeen is fucking trash.

Kinda rude

based

Rolled my ankle pretty badly skateboarding on my lunch break today lads, hobbled through the rest of the day without my boss noticing. Do I chuck a sickie tomorrow and stay up tonight to watch this game?

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was lorde born at lord's?

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yes you should
maybe go to the doctor tomorrow as well haha

Shave your toes m8.

>skateboarding
are you 12?

gonna be a lot worse tomorrow, get some ice on it

>english fielding

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10 minutes then I start working on my assignment

why are all the boomers wearing the '92 kit?

didn't win lotto lads

Why do they all look so strange?

alright yeah looking pretty bleak for England.
enjoy the game lads.

Pack it in lads. Go do something else with your day

Here comes the blow out.

rashit getting blown the fuck out lads

rashid looking deadly

This is looking bad for englel desu

ice it you dumb fuck

based idea: cricket, except we change the rules such that it is just me having sex with your mother

England need to sub in Monty panesar

What the fuck are the poms playing at here boys

Based Finchy.

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SMART PLAY

hide it, go in to work and trip over a non oh&s compliant object, spraining your ankle and whatever else.
Have the rest of the world cup off

10 minutes then I start working on my daily lifting assignment

all a bit of a shambles this. feel like i've been duped into thinking england are good

Go to the doctor and get a certificate to say you are too hurt to work

Why do you guys hate Slats?

we're 18 overs down and the last time they have even looked like they might take a wicket was over 3

What an embarrassing team

shit commentator
mong
comes off like a cunt

england are only good at batting. no fucking idea why they wouldnt bat first, put on 350+ and psychologically cook our batsmen under the pressure of having to score.

And I thought Australia's bowling was shit.

i like him. never gotten the hate for him

t. tubbs

do they just have to sit and watch every game? sounds boring imo (in my opinion)

Based sandpaper lad.

Cricket

REDEMPTION ARC
>REDEMPTION ARC
REDEMPTION ARC
>REDEMPTION ARC
REDEMPTION ARC
>REDEMPTION ARC
REDEMPTION ARC
>REDEMPTION ARC
REDEMPTION ARC
>REDEMPTION ARC
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>REDEMPTION ARC
REDEMPTION ARC
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REDEMPTION ARC
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REDEMPTION ARC
>REDEMPTION ARC
REDEMPTION ARC
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REDEMPTION ARC
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>REDEMPTION ARC

does ashley giles coach the english spinning attack?

fuck warner tbqh

Dogshit fielding

is this girl cute lads? met her on a language exchange website and she wants to meet up but i dont know if its worth the effort

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hate bon jovi
simple as

yeah, I'm seething
good post

nice bloke
t. had a beer and smoke with him at a wedding in Bali

I have something to say

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England sort it out

Australia collapse incoming

What's Finchy sucking on?

>20 overs
>110-0

it's over isn't it brehs

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>seething that warner is winning us games
low iq. dont care how much of a cunt he is as long as we win

halooo

moeen got me on edge lads

what will he do

It's in the merch shops over there. Was going to get one but my mate said the quality was garbage. Bangladesh tier workmanship.

nice to meet you
dont think she's a trap though

they should call england englistan lol

Very plain looking, but if you are non-white then go for her. If you are white then your responsibility is to find a white procreation partner

It’s going to be fucking hilarious seeing all the crying Aussies here when it pisses down with rain and the match gets drawn

glad I didn't end up getting one

shame because they're fucking great designs

>30 overs of batting practice
based

WAIT ON

lose to win

bit of a racist post innit

If Vince took that early catch we could be 3 down by now

Do people here not realise that England still have to bat?

It's hilarious how these insects always try and look as white as possible. Look how saturated that background is.

bowled moeen you fucking rag head

NOT Noow

accelerate now finch you fat fuck

i am white but just want to ahve sex and i find even plain looking asian girls more attractive.

billions

Australia you need to stop you're going to ruin everything

i.stuff.co.nz/sport/cricket/112062075/england-already-hold-talks-about-cricket-world-cup-victory-parade

Starc will take a fiver in these conditions

What happens if the finals get rained out?

yikes

I'd have sex with her if I wasn't already in a committed relationship with my partner whom I love.

india retain the title

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Shakib is still a better human being in every way possible

Australia will get bowled out for just under 200

Check em

unironically looks better to my eyes than the done-up glamour thots posted earlier

That picture of Warners kids always cracks me up.

genuine question lads, would a girl dislike it if i brought her to my room (pic related)? keep in mind i actually own this house (inheritance money, but she wont know that)

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co-champs (unironically)

Is Jason Roy related to Crown actress Claire Foy?

WALLOP

WALLOP

Probably because you're quite ugly so girls that seem more attainable become more attractive to you.

DAT WALLOP

>BASED FINCH >BASED FINCH >BASED FINCH >BASED FINCH >BASED FINCH >BASED FINCH >BASED FINCH >BASED FINCH >BASED FINCH >BASED FINCH >BASED FINCH >BASED FINCH >BASED FINCH >BASED FINCH >BASED FINCH >BASED FINCH >BASED FINCH >BASED FINCH >BASED FINCH >BASED FINCH >BASED FINCH >BASED FINCH >BASED FINCH >BASED FINCH >BASED FINCH >BASED FINCH >BASED FINCH >BASED FINCH >BASED FINCH >BASED FINCH >BASED FINCH >BASED FINCH >BASED FINCH >BASED FINCH >BASED FINCH >BASED FINCH >BASED FINCH >BASED FINCH >BASED FINCH >BASED FINCH >BASED FINCH >BASED FINCH >BASED FINCH >BASED FINCH >BASED FINCH >BASED FINCH >BASED FINCH >BASED FINCH >BASED FINCH

Pack it in Moeen you fucking hack

> those trees outside
doubt its your room m8

probably be highlights from the 2008 world cup

unironically hope pakistan takes englel's spot

>yikes

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>KEKNER

DUMB CUNT LMAO

GONE

GOTTEM

FUCK OFF KEKOLD

BOOOOOOOOOO

GONE
GOTTEM
FINALLY TAKEN A WICKET YOU SHIT CUNTS

>SHITNER
GOT HIM GO ON FUCK OFF

They already look whiter than any moderately tanned white person.

he's up and whirring lads

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WARNER YOU FUCKING CHEAT CUNT GO FUCK YOURSELF
FUCKING USELESS CUNT
GET THE FUCK ON YUR BIKE AND FUCK OFF OUT OF THIS TEAM UNTIL YOU CAN ACTUALLY SCORE RUNS

the most disgusting thing about that picture is the ripples in the carpet

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I can tell that picture isn't taken in Australia from one very obvious clue, I have seen through your ruse.

GOING TO BED MATE

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FUCK OFFFFFF

CHEAT CHEAT CHEAT

Based

You'd almost say it was standard to have plans drawn up for that eventuality.

neither did I, fucking $50 ticket too

That's what I was thinking, too, but I don't know how to go from meeting a girl to actually having sex so it would probably require enormous mental strain and effort.

get fucked Candice

Reckon Khawaja goes for 9 (24).

got him on a string lads

Fuck off you dirty cheating cunt. OUT OUT OUT. Enjoy the walk cunt

>Ussy coming in against spinners

Would be lying if I said I wasn't a bit worried

We’re back in black baby

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I did mate. 80 million

its a tough choice between the disgusting fucked up carpet and that tiny little bed.

Already disavowed that post. Fuck warner. absolute mong

I'm watching pawn stars on 7m8.

COLLAPSE STARTING

>Pakistani Englishman bowling to a Pakistani Australian
Clear indication of the invasion of Brown people on White countries and the impact ot has on demographics

Bowling first starting to pay off lads

>both are shit at cricket
yup, fuck them.

yes mate definitely

tipping that this won't be the catalyst for an improved english bowling performance and the next wicket will be taken only after the 37th over

Think Usman is playing for the wrong team here lads haha

Why didn't anyone Warner?

it looks like that plastic lino flooring which is even worse

reckon our middle order will crumble and we'll be bowled out for 260 lads

you underestimate just how shit out middle order is outside of smith. and we have no tail

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7-string
lol no

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Will Finch score a century?

and that's not necessarily a bad thing

you underestimate how utterly shite our bowling is mate, we let the group whipping boys afghanistan bat out 50 overs ffs

FUCK NIGGERS

Who?

I hate khawaja so god damn much

>get home from the cricket
>see this waiting for you
What's next lads?

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What Australia's batting line-up should be

1. Bryant
2. Finch
3. Short
4. Lynn
5. Maxwell
6. Wade
7. Cutting

Find a flaw pro-tip you can't

haha le ebic will finch is someone else rebly :DDDDDDD

It's alright lads, we'll get our best spinner on soon and we'll see a lovely Root 8-3

BASED WALLOP

>Find a flaw pro-tip you can't
>6. Wade
blacklisted so impossible. sorry mate

>no tail
>GOAT

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fuck the one in yellow

one in the yellow is nice with a bit of chub, rest are all too fat imho

yes mate

Test

Do NOT post that photo

reckon english people might be ugly as fuck lads

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think someone needs a wicket

The next generation of sumo wrestlers have an unusually western second name

William Finch was an English merchant in the service of the East India Company. He travelled to India along with Captain Hawkins during the reign of the Mughal emperor Jehangir.

Business idea:
Give Root a bowl

Our present in front and future in the background.

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I'll come in with an estimation of Australia's total in four overs

still crunching the numbers right now

Cameron Bancroft. Need someone to be a scapegoat for when you start cheating again

reckon this pic has a lot of potential lads
its quintessentially british

> 10 posts early
autism

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...

He's only allowed to bowl 20 overs in the whole tournament lad. ICC ruling after the realisation that no team can bat out his 10 overs

Hold on, Australia were 139 at the half way point you'd expect around 280 at best.

Englan have got over 300 plenty of times recently

>blundler

over here lads

Based cazzie with the high IQ thoughts

Just realised I haven't seen shops near me selling mars bars for ages.

Ominous signs here lads

bog standard chocolate has gone to absolute shit recently, best avoided.

Did the Balmy Army come up with any good bants about the sandpaper twins?