/hoc/

this thread... is the thread

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6 word horror stories
>don't forget, you're here forever (Ohio)

this show any good leafs?

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wrangler jeans are gay and for boomers

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>last man alive heard a knock

The pick doesn't bother me. I posted on here that he was picking Dach on lottery day. It's the trades and contracts. I swear if he went into a car dealership he would end up paying more than sticker price

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Whats his end game?

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>welcome to Ohio, enjoy your stay

head shoulders knees and toes (knees and toes)

crashing this league with no survivors

Seattle Swedens

>Grease needs a place to crash

>Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio

AHHHHHHHHHHHH NO STOP

>tfw your home is other peoples nightmares.

Ohio is comfy. I'm not sure why it gets all the hate.

>kippers ans randy rooffied your drink

TED FROM AKRON
*clap clap clapclapclap*

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if i woke up in Ohio i would kill myself

without finns you win

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19 players out of 27 are canadian

>I am from Ohio, how many is six?

Redpill me on Ohio

/cric/ RUNS /hoc/

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Ohio? Oh no!

Yeah runs us cups of coffee
*dabs*

My thumb gets so tired scrolling all the way down to find /cric/

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I imagine a lot of you look like this dude

Did someone say cricket

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Would take this bribe

whatever happened to him?

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Who here is from knockemstiff, ohio?

/cric/ RUNS AWAY from /hoc/

got one more dart lads, should i kill'r now or wait til morning

Some say he’s heeming twinks to this day

what would you do for a klondike bar?

Always save one for morning if you can't go get more

what he said

Pay the fair market price

general reminder that he still hasnt recovered

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thanks lads

quit smoking cigarettes you fucking retards

i quit buying them but my friend gives them to me like they're candy

Does he put his cock in your mouth and tell you it’s a banana too

Has comfy parts, horrid parts, and v nice parts. Cleveland sucks, but Cincinnati and Columbus are unironically nice cities. Lots of heroin. Created the NFL and professional baseball. Cedar Point is great. Tim Horton's USA headquarters used to be there. Is currently full, so fuck off.

>not smoking it now for an excuse to grab a cheeky coffee from 7/11 and another 2 packs in the am to get your dollar off

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youtu.be/i0L8lfpGXQ8

who cares what other people do?

...you mean it's not a banana?

what vice should i fight off first: alcohol, smokes, porn or drugs

Think I'm going crazy lads

/hoc/ does

whichever is easiest for you

me. why do you care about what i decide to care about?

Quitters never win

what is going on my fren, talk to us

porn makes you stronger

>alchol is the ennemy
>running away from the ennemy is cowrdly

_____ from ______ ?

Depends on the drug>Porn>Smokes>Alcohol

>smoking

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>jeans
if you don't wear exclusively levi's, you're a confirmed homosexual faggot

>alchol
>ennemy
>cowrdly
what did he mean by this?

Don't even know where to start

Alcohol is the worst for you
Smoking is the easiest to quit
Porn isn't even bad for you
Drugs can be fun, plus you have to be somewhat cool to even get them

sorry about writing, am an alcohol

Rooms so hot that after 4 sets I'm literally dripping

Cleveland is literally the only decent place in Ohio. Cincinnati and Columbus are literally glorified trailer parks. Cincinnati shouldn't even be considered Ohio it's Western Kentucky.

>scare tactics for children

don't forget to take a shit while doing your squats

imagine how strong bionic bulju has gotten by now

imagine how far away he wants to be from edmonton by now

BASED retard

lets play some hockey shit

shit negro that's all you had to say

twitter.com/GoldenKnights?ref_src=twsrc^google|twcamp^serp|twgr^author
based

You need to smoke for so fucking long to get lungs like that. Not to mention your lungs will heal when you quit

sorry i'm a retard
twitter.com/GoldenKnights/status/1143341220095094784

What BTFO the Bruins more?

>Losing 3-1 to the Blues in game 7
>Losing game 6 in 17 seconds against the Blackhawks?

>smok bad
>drug bad
>achol bad
>porn bad
bunch of losers itt

how do the knights afford all these contracts? aren't they above the salary cap?

wtf we playin tonight? I need something to distract me from the pitiful existence that is my life

You literally have that backwards. Cleveland is a dead city, where the only places to be are either the west side market or a suburb. Both Cincinnati and Columbus are routinely considered two of the most up-and-coming cities, owing to diverse economies and strong urban life. Cincinnati is basically Kentucky, but that's mostly because the entire state has moved to Cincinnati to find work. Still a nice city, especially if you like beer.

salary cap is for faggots

start anywhere you want lad, one thing at a time

What’s a good anime to watch?

Def Leppard - Photograph

It'll help remind you of wanting to jack off to your oneitis.

lets watch the entirety of the 2nd through 7th rounds of the 2013 nhl draft :)

Ajin.

fortnite

I thought that was Nickleback

I hope everyone's ready to make history!

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I’m picking up the new Yakuza spin-off after work tomorrow. I’m very excited. I was torn between that and the new Samurai Shodown, but I’m too old to actually git gud at fightan anymore.

king of the thrill

let's watch shannon's live draft reactions video

fuck you guys video games are for children
I only play superior roguelikes

whats hocs favorite great lake

for me its huron

for me, it's superior because my race is superior

erie because

LAC SAINT-JEAN

America's national food is a cheeseburger.

What's Canada's?

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kraft dinner

My left wireless headphone broke lads I wish I was never born

poutine

POUTINE

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Which one did that black goalie drown in? That one for me

poutine, syrup on an ice stick, sushi

the leftover cheeseburgers we throw on the floor

Made it all day and forgot to eat again

for me, its /hoc/ lake, home of /hoc/ island

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Can’t wait to HEEM those Fort Rupert Fruit Booties

lake mead

Canadian Thanksgiving potatoes with gravy

that's just french fries with brown gravy and cheese curds!

Annex the bird sanctuary in the name of the high council

not a Great Lake ya brown skinned simp

>you now remember that ray emery is dead
lol nigger

ketchup chips

sometimes i get annoyed at how stinky my farts get

We're all dead inside

who likes scary movies?

like how do you drown lmao like just move your arms and legs nigga

yo those Ruffles double crunch Hot Wing flavored chips

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Will the Yotes make the playoffs next year?

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he cute

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i might

you have to ask the strong duck

>en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_black_NHL_players

No me, I’m a gigantic pussy. It’s actually kind of embarrassing. Just about anything with aliums scares the shit out of me. I was terrified of ET as a kid, I can’t tolerate the monolith scenes in 2001, and the x files music alone can keep me up at night.

>no battle bots gamethread

you should watch the 4th kind

>spin bots always win
>no one makes a bot that sprays industrial adhesive

it's on Yea Forums

thought there was only 3 if im being honest

>signs

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King of boards
>tfw on a 3 day ban on Yea Forums for making a booker t thread today

Kintla

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PEDOMOD COMIN' FOR YOU, NIGGA

Cum cakes

I saw that and it scared me, but it had Milla Jovovich and she’s a super cute, so it wasn’t as bad.

Even the scenes from Scary Movie 3 parodying that would freak me out.

eating some chicken

youtube.com/watch?v=mO2W96NCiRc

my nigga you in for a world of pain if you watch this youtube.com/watch?v=8mplBymdWgI

i am a alien

eggs are nasty

fuck off space niggers, we're full

You don't have to tell me what happened but you do have to eat all these eggs

why are you doing this?

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I just went grocery shopping today and this nigga eating all the /hoc/ eggs

I don't love them but David Crononberg's The Fly (1986) is one heck of a ride

*faint x-files theme plays in distance*

I need to stop listening to David Bowie songs. But my favorite song is Modern Love.

i always keep boiled eggs in vinegar in my fridge

i'll be probing your anus first smart guy

*fat wife braps in the distance*
*x-files theme plays*

our season?????

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GETS ME TO THE CHURRRRCH OOOONNNN TIME

Me next please
t. Kylee formerly Kyle from California

Hush now, the more you talk the longer it will take.

Doesn’t Jaromir Jagr believe he was abducted by ayys or something like that?

cytu dot be/r/offseasonhoc
get in here lads

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Georges St. Pierre does

ive been plucking my errant beard hairs and placing them in a pile in the corner of my laptop. now they are gone. can beard hairs run away if you don't looking at them and should i be worried

House Hippos making a nest m8

is this it?

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based house hippos poster

I NEED THESE BASKETS BACK!!

>not plucking your pubes and ass hair

of course. thank you i feel much more relaxed.
wish i could've seen him climb up atop my counter i had no idea they could be so nimble

comfy is just a code word for boring desu

plucking my ball hairs for 5 years now and they rarely grow back now. smooth sack
feels good too

i trim my pubes to about 1/4" in length so there's no need to pluck them
i do occasionally pluck my ass hair when im not wearing pants but they don't usually bother me. beard hairs bother me when i can reach them with my tongue

>Myers possibly going to Nuckies
2020 are year?

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no sorry ya blew it in 2011, now ya fucked

no you

abhorrent thread if I'm being honest with ya 40 odd cunts

>2020 are year
>are

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I miss hockey bros

my pubes are wild and unkempt

if Tyler Myers is the answer to your problems, you have bigger problems, so no

>he's never chewed his beard and pretended to be a cute girl sucking her ponytail
Weird

Why do nose hairs always grow back

i'll be on the ice 4 hours a day for the next 4 days, feels good la

i have more back hair than most /hoc/ posters have on their whole bodies

seeing the sheer joy in a girl's eyes when she's slobbering all over my freshly shorn scrotum gets my dick diamonds

>Florida gets to have 2 teams
>Quebec gets to only have 1

sunbelts wins again

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who nose?

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Why the fuck is that faggot trying to meme underwear

dunno m8

fuckin carlos

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>modern love
absolutely based song
i've been learning space oddity, ziggy, and moonage daydream on guitar this past week

CARLOS!

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Incredibly hi test

ultimate hockey player using a 1 attribute from 1 player per decade.

50's Ted Lindsey - Leadership
60's Bobby Hulls - shot
70's Gilbert Perreaults - hands
80's Wayne Gretzky - vision
90's Peter Forsberg - toughness
2000's Patrice Bergeron - faceoffs
2010's Connor McDavid - skating

the pooins lost game 7 at home LMAO

apehoop's kike commissioner just unironically banned the term "team owner" because it's """""dehumanizing and derogatory"""""

be grateful you have Gary in your life, he has fun with the boos and would never go so far to pander to subhumans

Please post cute pictures of your pet dogs, cats, or rats, /hoc/.

Hashek can wall off that player.

my sister's new puppy

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I don't know he always looks like he wants to blow the place up when it happens

thinking of ening it all

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Season don't fear the reaper
Nor do the wind, the sun or the rain

What is ening

empty netting

my pet rat. he licks things and has been crying a lot lately, he may need to be put down

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that is merely the face of someone plotting for more shekels and a 33rd team in Guadalajara

I'd kick the fuck out of it. Stupid shit mutt

looks like he needs a bath

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Thinking about >my team acquiring Bulju lads

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>having pets
Emotionally stunted manchuldren

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he is supposed to be atleast 1/8 dingo so he loves digging up random shit and burying it somewhere else. no doubt he was doing something similar on that day

Mario Lemieux

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thinking about getting a pupper but i also want to travel to europe and perhaps elsewhere in the near future what do i do

Buy one and I'll "take care of it"

>Drafted first overall to the Edmonton Oilers

>7 words

My name is Sean let’s fuck

is Dubas a jew or just a 30 year-old zoomer?

thanks for fucking the market after only THREE contracts you butterteeth nerd

ontario
been all over this damn lake, and will continue to do so

man you guys will blame the leafs for literally anything won't you

>solve 6 captchas in a row, several with at least 6-7 squares to click
>please try again
how can anyone ever EVER buy a google product

Ancient legend says impressively sized mighty beavs dammed off the great lakes

cope

most of the time i can post without even having to do a captcha

Passed out with Vaseline on my dick last night woke up with a rash

>tfw brown skinned but unironically the best poster on /hoc/

t. Father of dick rash posting from his own future which is our present

Modern family is a pretty good show for NHL hockey offseason

>pacific falling apart
yup i'm thinking it's are year (canucks)

That’s a good show but I think Donkey Kong is the best video game ever

>reddit family

Same, lad. I run both /hoc/ and /cric/

sky is the limit
/our year/

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I think donkey kong SUCKS

t. k. rool

Fuck off rajitpul

You know something? YOU suck

youtube.com/watch?v=RcP91tQ4ZSM

>reddit kong

TIL Kyle Okposo's favorite cereal is Cinnamon Life, he said as much in an NHL interview

i watch reddits burgers sometimes just because of coach mcgurks voice

don't you mean archer's voice?

You know what I think about youtu.be/w6Q3mHyzn78

Samefag, Tuukka Rask just said he could eat 50 chicken wings in 10 minutes

It's good

Goind away for a couple of days lads. Keep up the good work while I'm gone

Please don't go

Please don't come back

Will come back lads, don't worry!

Anyone in downtown Winnipeg wanna go out tonight? Predrinks at my place

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>zoomers in charge of iconic references

whoaho ho ho there big spender! TOTAL care?! Thats top shelf Listerine. You're bound to find someone to take you up

>top shelf Listerine
kek

Litsterines ranked
>turqoise
>orange
>whitening
>blue
>purple
>green
POWER GAP
>yellow

i can tell just by looking at your thumb that you're a faggot

When does the little League World series start? I like watching the kids.

t. Squanto

Why is she eating a lemon when she said this?

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>anime
Literally who fucking cares?

I'm downtown right now on 4th and Trudeau meet me in 15

DAILY REMINDER THAT THIS IS YOUR AVERAGE MILD FAN

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Everything is just wild right now

the only good weeb is a dead weeb

kek. i member this lad

don't care, Satsuki is best girl

Sad :(
hockey is for everyone

this is a falseflag I can tell by the handwriting

Literally this

>only
>not ooonly

>root
>not rooooot

Not him. Good riddance

Thought I lost my spoon I was about to shit my shorts

pepperidge farm remembers

Wait there was a nigerian player?

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have sex

>spoon
master race

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youtube.com/watch?v=jzhQMYKTsJw

It was for cucumber salad with extra hot sauce

Allah commands that you eat with your fingers and also wipe your ass with your fingers

>oliver kylington is swedish-eritian
YOU JUST KNOW

What sauce can you put on poptarts?

wtf when did I enter /cric/

you can melt a little butter on top of them

You guys dare me to make a funny noise to put on vocaroo and post in small dick /cric/

reminder that the pedosota mild exist KEK MILD KEK

Do an Australian accent not poo

no, don't stir the shit bees, in their shit nest. leave them there, we don't need them coming here and shitting up the place (worse than it is)

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do an impression of an australian doing a poo accent

based incel screenshotting his own cringe posts

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lads
LADS
>rags

Give me something to read

In many ways the knights won that series

woah

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Just had a superb ham sandwich

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Careful lad that’s what killed mama Cass

gonna play edge of tomorrow featuring /our scientologist/ tom cruise in 5 mins

gonna move to the mountains and be a hermit prospector

I have to eat a pound of turkey in the next few days, gonna make some mean sandwiches

gonna tug one out and then potentially feel worse afterwards

prospect deez nuts bitch

surprisingly, that movie is based

Your mom's gonna eat my pound of sausage

BASED

that isn't even the good version m8

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the mad lad

What did they mean by this?

Good movie

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>tampon bay, pres trophy, first round
>habs, second round
>laffs, first round
>panthers, third round
>bruins, miss
>wangz, miss
>sabres, miss
>sens, miss

>islanders, cup final
>caps, first round
>flyers, second round
>devils, first round
>pongs, miss
>canes, miss
>rags, miss
>jackets, miss

>shorks, second round
>flames, first round
>knights, first round
>nucks, miss
>yotes, miss
>ducks, miss
>kangz, miss
>oilers, miss

>preds, first round
>jets, second round
>blues, first round
>avs, third round
>hawks, cup champ
>stars, miss
>mild, miss

cap it fags

cytu be/r/offseasonhoc

I don't understand it

Why would anyone cap a post that is essentially 100% guaranteed not to happen

Is sebbo fat and smelly?

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yes

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youtube.com/watch?v=k836KhSu93o

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Why is it so underrated

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>flyers
>devils
>sharks
>hawks cup champ
retard

Lovely pupper.

: )

>hawks
>cup champs
With THAT goaltending? I’d say that the flames or avalanche are better to slot into the western final than them

did that for baiting purposes, but crawford was pretty great when he came back from concussion. lankinen is showing some promise too.

>Trusting Crawford to put up Stanley Cup winning goaltending for an entire season+off season after 2 back to back massive concussions
Yeah sure thing, Mike

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>i-i was only pretending to be retarded

Crawford is suffering from vertigo. I don’t think a goalie can recover from such an issue. Delia isn’t amazing either but he’s serviceable. The hawks should call up gravel when he’s ready but I’m not a chiraqi faggot

Thanks. His name is Quigley.

Requires an account though. Is it free to join?

Those are so fucking disgusting how the fuck they ever sold one of those I’ll never understand, most disgusting thing I’ve ever tasted and it’s supposed to be “candy” go fuck yourself dont @ me

considering he just called the (((media))) to start rumors that make Point/Rantanen/Aho look like comparable players that are also getting 9.5-10.5/year offer sheeted?

YES you faggot fuck Dubas and fuck your team of overpaid zoomers

Yes one GMs statement regarding other players totally affects the entire market you fucking moron

just fell asleep, lads

>Crawford is suffering from vertigo. I don’t think a goalie can recover from such an issue.
he averaged about a .950 after he came back in february, so it seems like he's dealing with it pretty well.
>Delia isn’t amazing either but he’s serviceable. The hawks should call up gravel when he’s ready but I’m not a chiraqi faggot
i think if the next starter comes from inside the org, it's gonna be lankinen.

yes

>blackhawks
imagine being the only team to be winless against the golden knights

nice

dream of me please

watching raw lads

get off my /hoc/

kwab

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just woke up

huomenta

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hyvaa soumi or whatever

morning

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faggots

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Henrik lundquist

He was annoited “king” but he has no rings

He blew so many 2 goal leads in 2014

He escapes lots of criticism from the media

He always gets a pass for consistent failures

....suomi

Only 6 more days until Jim signs Myers to another Eriksson-tier contract

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The Sedin twins lmao more like the three stooges

Huomenta Suomi

the canucks are, and always have been, truly an irrelevant team

Hyvää huomenta Suomi

youtube.com/watch?v=pl5yxWBqnxM

good morning benisland

Why dont the leafs just let Marner get offersheeted and use the cap space to sign Duchene or Panarin then use their picks and the offersheet picks to trade for a Dman or another good winger?

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surely if h benning wouldn't take that seabrook contract then he wouldnt be retarded to sign myers to a horrible contract

spoiler: he won't be offersheeted

Lads how do i deal with the fact that im going to die one day

by kys lad

have sex

ww3

just remember that we all go through it

Don't, live in constant fear until you are 70

They should do this, except for because of this .
Starting to think they should do it anyway. Fuck player agents.

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reading boomer opinions on hfboards lads

woah, how'd he get over there?

>teleports behind your defencemen
>heh

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h-he's fast!

Is it too early to call him a bust?

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imagine paying skinner 9x8
imagine paying hayes 7.14x7

50s Geordie Howe - libido
60s Brett Hull - tolerance
70s Larry Robinson - compassion
80s Jarri Kuri - inclusivity/diversity
90s Eric Lindros - goatee
00s Chris Chelios - age
10s Ovechkin - patriotism

Never too early to call a player a bust.

imagine paying karlsson 11.5x8

imagine playing aho 6x8

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Contracts should be discussed in terms of Cap percentage

Is it bad If I only know the players on my team? I can't remember all of these shitty European last names of other teams' players.

very true
luckily, >my team signed our karlsson to a friendly 5.9x8

Which is about 8m more than >your team could afford

imagine paying karlsson 14% of your total cap for 8 years

i know most players, but i'm really bad at remembering their numbers even on my own team

>giving a shit about the cap
sick of the cuckoldry in this previously glorious sport

>...........and with the 5th pick............... in the nhl 2020 draft..................the new york rags are proud to select..........................................from india...........................................................

>manju...............

*pulls out knife*

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Imagine not caring about the ability to sign skilled players in a race for Lord Stanley's Cup

rph

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come watch hockey clips on cytube, lads

play something other than hockey clips

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God you west coast trannies and faggots are insufferable

we just finished watching a movie, but we can do that too

link?

cytu be/r/offseasonhoc

Lemonparty.org

desu

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Please pat him on the head and tell him I said he is a good boy.

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We watched a video of some schizo gook in San Fran last night

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Who did they shoot? Angry ruins fan?

Guaranteed none of these people gave a rats ass about the Blose until the SCF

nah i think it was a hill billy canes fan

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Basketball

neekeri :DDD

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handboll

hockey

No racism on my hoop field

i'm listening

sorry, lapp

>a clearly drunk brett hull tries to explain to a crowd of 100,000 that "let's go blues" is over because "we went"

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For me? It's goalball.

what's it mean?

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based emmy-award winning aly lozoff

There should only be nhl teams in areas, where its possible to play pond hockey

does water freeze at different temperatures in other parts of the world?

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that's literally everywhere

come watch random clips over at cytube, lads

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>stay scared m8

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UH OH user I'M GOIN-
BRAPPPPPPPPPP BRAP BRAPBRAPPPPPPPPP BRAP
OH NOT MY PANTIES
BRAP BRAPBRAP

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I am posting emotes for /hoc/ cytube

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The cutest player of all time

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canes offered aho 6 million aav

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>oilels

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Bullshit

young nigga gotta get to the money

William Karlsson has to be the most swedish name I’ve heard

Should I get a Robin Lehner or a Matty Barzal jersey?

Börje Börgelsson

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Why care about goalies? They never score. Same thing about defencemen

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mir doesn't look too pleased with the twinks in this picture

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i don't get it

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they're both faggots

>tumblr

got it from bing images. thats my excuse

The official list of based team:

>Habs
>Rags
>Avs
>Flyers
>Canes
>Kitties

there are women in the hockey hall of fame

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based
based
trash
trash
trash
trash

incel

all of them who have gotten in have done stuff to build "womens" hockey though. Nobody aside from Poulin / Knight / Szabados are getting in from this generation

>flyers
>based
try again

what about coyne?

Panarin-Zibanejad-Kakko

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yeahs ok im alright with that but the thing is there is 5 women currently in the hall of fame and they have all been inducted as 'players'. there is a different category for 'building' womens hockey, literally called 'builders'

she could probably get in if she captains a national team to olympic gold. She does have some significant notches already

what if kakko busts?

pk subban is based

someone getting the new thread ready?

he's bust proof. literal savant. probably dreaming about getting pucks deep right now

does anyone on the rangers even speak finnish??

can someone be bust proof on the >rags?

Mika does

kakko is fluent i believe

new bread is ready

I understand where you are coming from. I hope in the future they just induct the ones who have clearly separated themselves from their peers

why can't you just fucking wait

i wanted to make a north america house hippo edition

hockey is for everyone except for niggers trannys and the danish/finns