haha offseason
/hoc/
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i eat ass
The other thread is pretty gay 2bh
I eat wings
gonna pass on the undies thread tyvm
Shall for non gay thread
Stan Bowman is starting to feel like some kind of sabotage plant. I know no one likes Chicago but i wouldn't wish this dude on any other team.
go knights
Stan bowman had his pick leaked hours before the draft lel
so this is the thread?
this thread... is the thread
6 word horror stories
>don't forget, you're here forever (Ohio)
this show any good leafs?
wrangler jeans are gay and for boomers
>last man alive heard a knock
The pick doesn't bother me. I posted on here that he was picking Dach on lottery day. It's the trades and contracts. I swear if he went into a car dealership he would end up paying more than sticker price
Whats his end game?
>welcome to Ohio, enjoy your stay
head shoulders knees and toes (knees and toes)
crashing this league with no survivors
Seattle Swedens
>Grease needs a place to crash
>Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio Ohio
AHHHHHHHHHHHH NO STOP
>tfw your home is other peoples nightmares.
Ohio is comfy. I'm not sure why it gets all the hate.
>kippers ans randy rooffied your drink
TED FROM AKRON
*clap clap clapclapclap*
if i woke up in Ohio i would kill myself
without finns you win
19 players out of 27 are canadian
>I am from Ohio, how many is six?
Redpill me on Ohio
/cric/ RUNS /hoc/
Ohio? Oh no!
Yeah runs us cups of coffee
*dabs*
My thumb gets so tired scrolling all the way down to find /cric/
I imagine a lot of you look like this dude
Did someone say cricket
Would take this bribe
whatever happened to him?
Who here is from knockemstiff, ohio?
/cric/ RUNS AWAY from /hoc/
got one more dart lads, should i kill'r now or wait til morning
Some say he’s heeming twinks to this day
what would you do for a klondike bar?
Always save one for morning if you can't go get more
what he said
Pay the fair market price
general reminder that he still hasnt recovered
thanks lads
quit smoking cigarettes you fucking retards
i quit buying them but my friend gives them to me like they're candy
Does he put his cock in your mouth and tell you it’s a banana too
Has comfy parts, horrid parts, and v nice parts. Cleveland sucks, but Cincinnati and Columbus are unironically nice cities. Lots of heroin. Created the NFL and professional baseball. Cedar Point is great. Tim Horton's USA headquarters used to be there. Is currently full, so fuck off.
>not smoking it now for an excuse to grab a cheeky coffee from 7/11 and another 2 packs in the am to get your dollar off
who cares what other people do?
...you mean it's not a banana?
what vice should i fight off first: alcohol, smokes, porn or drugs
Think I'm going crazy lads
/hoc/ does
whichever is easiest for you
me. why do you care about what i decide to care about?
Quitters never win
what is going on my fren, talk to us
porn makes you stronger
>alchol is the ennemy
>running away from the ennemy is cowrdly
_____ from ______ ?
Depends on the drug>Porn>Smokes>Alcohol
>smoking
>jeans
if you don't wear exclusively levi's, you're a confirmed homosexual faggot
>alchol
>ennemy
>cowrdly
what did he mean by this?
Don't even know where to start
Alcohol is the worst for you
Smoking is the easiest to quit
Porn isn't even bad for you
Drugs can be fun, plus you have to be somewhat cool to even get them
sorry about writing, am an alcohol
Rooms so hot that after 4 sets I'm literally dripping
Cleveland is literally the only decent place in Ohio. Cincinnati and Columbus are literally glorified trailer parks. Cincinnati shouldn't even be considered Ohio it's Western Kentucky.
>scare tactics for children
don't forget to take a shit while doing your squats
imagine how strong bionic bulju has gotten by now
imagine how far away he wants to be from edmonton by now
BASED retard
lets play some hockey shit
shit negro that's all you had to say
You need to smoke for so fucking long to get lungs like that. Not to mention your lungs will heal when you quit
sorry i'm a retard
twitter.com
What BTFO the Bruins more?
>Losing 3-1 to the Blues in game 7
>Losing game 6 in 17 seconds against the Blackhawks?
>smok bad
>drug bad
>achol bad
>porn bad
bunch of losers itt
how do the knights afford all these contracts? aren't they above the salary cap?
wtf we playin tonight? I need something to distract me from the pitiful existence that is my life
You literally have that backwards. Cleveland is a dead city, where the only places to be are either the west side market or a suburb. Both Cincinnati and Columbus are routinely considered two of the most up-and-coming cities, owing to diverse economies and strong urban life. Cincinnati is basically Kentucky, but that's mostly because the entire state has moved to Cincinnati to find work. Still a nice city, especially if you like beer.
salary cap is for faggots
start anywhere you want lad, one thing at a time
What’s a good anime to watch?
Def Leppard - Photograph
It'll help remind you of wanting to jack off to your oneitis.
lets watch the entirety of the 2nd through 7th rounds of the 2013 nhl draft :)
Ajin.
fortnite
I thought that was Nickleback
I hope everyone's ready to make history!
I’m picking up the new Yakuza spin-off after work tomorrow. I’m very excited. I was torn between that and the new Samurai Shodown, but I’m too old to actually git gud at fightan anymore.
king of the thrill
let's watch shannon's live draft reactions video
fuck you guys video games are for children
I only play superior roguelikes
whats hocs favorite great lake
for me its huron
for me, it's superior because my race is superior
erie because
LAC SAINT-JEAN
America's national food is a cheeseburger.
What's Canada's?
kraft dinner
My left wireless headphone broke lads I wish I was never born
poutine
POUTINE
Which one did that black goalie drown in? That one for me
poutine, syrup on an ice stick, sushi
the leftover cheeseburgers we throw on the floor
Made it all day and forgot to eat again
for me, its /hoc/ lake, home of /hoc/ island
Can’t wait to HEEM those Fort Rupert Fruit Booties
lake mead
Canadian Thanksgiving potatoes with gravy
that's just french fries with brown gravy and cheese curds!
Annex the bird sanctuary in the name of the high council
not a Great Lake ya brown skinned simp
>you now remember that ray emery is dead
lol nigger
ketchup chips
sometimes i get annoyed at how stinky my farts get
We're all dead inside
who likes scary movies?
like how do you drown lmao like just move your arms and legs nigga
yo those Ruffles double crunch Hot Wing flavored chips
Will the Yotes make the playoffs next year?
he cute
i might
you have to ask the strong duck
No me, I’m a gigantic pussy. It’s actually kind of embarrassing. Just about anything with aliums scares the shit out of me. I was terrified of ET as a kid, I can’t tolerate the monolith scenes in 2001, and the x files music alone can keep me up at night.
>no battle bots gamethread
you should watch the 4th kind
>spin bots always win
>no one makes a bot that sprays industrial adhesive
it's on Yea Forums
thought there was only 3 if im being honest
>signs
King of boards
>tfw on a 3 day ban on Yea Forums for making a booker t thread today
Kintla
PEDOMOD COMIN' FOR YOU, NIGGA
Cum cakes
I saw that and it scared me, but it had Milla Jovovich and she’s a super cute, so it wasn’t as bad.
Even the scenes from Scary Movie 3 parodying that would freak me out.
eating some chicken
my nigga you in for a world of pain if you watch this youtube.com
i am a alien
eggs are nasty
fuck off space niggers, we're full
You don't have to tell me what happened but you do have to eat all these eggs
why are you doing this?
I just went grocery shopping today and this nigga eating all the /hoc/ eggs
I don't love them but David Crononberg's The Fly (1986) is one heck of a ride
*faint x-files theme plays in distance*
I need to stop listening to David Bowie songs. But my favorite song is Modern Love.
i always keep boiled eggs in vinegar in my fridge
i'll be probing your anus first smart guy
*fat wife braps in the distance*
*x-files theme plays*
our season?????
GETS ME TO THE CHURRRRCH OOOONNNN TIME
Me next please
t. Kylee formerly Kyle from California
Hush now, the more you talk the longer it will take.
Doesn’t Jaromir Jagr believe he was abducted by ayys or something like that?
cytu dot be/r/offseasonhoc
get in here lads
Georges St. Pierre does
ive been plucking my errant beard hairs and placing them in a pile in the corner of my laptop. now they are gone. can beard hairs run away if you don't looking at them and should i be worried
House Hippos making a nest m8
is this it?
based house hippos poster
I NEED THESE BASKETS BACK!!
>not plucking your pubes and ass hair
of course. thank you i feel much more relaxed.
wish i could've seen him climb up atop my counter i had no idea they could be so nimble
comfy is just a code word for boring desu
plucking my ball hairs for 5 years now and they rarely grow back now. smooth sack
feels good too
i trim my pubes to about 1/4" in length so there's no need to pluck them
i do occasionally pluck my ass hair when im not wearing pants but they don't usually bother me. beard hairs bother me when i can reach them with my tongue
>Myers possibly going to Nuckies
2020 are year?
no sorry ya blew it in 2011, now ya fucked
no you
abhorrent thread if I'm being honest with ya 40 odd cunts
>2020 are year
>are
I miss hockey bros
my pubes are wild and unkempt
if Tyler Myers is the answer to your problems, you have bigger problems, so no
>he's never chewed his beard and pretended to be a cute girl sucking her ponytail
Weird
Why do nose hairs always grow back
i'll be on the ice 4 hours a day for the next 4 days, feels good la
i have more back hair than most /hoc/ posters have on their whole bodies
seeing the sheer joy in a girl's eyes when she's slobbering all over my freshly shorn scrotum gets my dick diamonds
>Florida gets to have 2 teams
>Quebec gets to only have 1
sunbelts wins again
who nose?
Why the fuck is that faggot trying to meme underwear
dunno m8
fuckin carlos
>modern love
absolutely based song
i've been learning space oddity, ziggy, and moonage daydream on guitar this past week
CARLOS!
Incredibly hi test
ultimate hockey player using a 1 attribute from 1 player per decade.
50's Ted Lindsey - Leadership
60's Bobby Hulls - shot
70's Gilbert Perreaults - hands
80's Wayne Gretzky - vision
90's Peter Forsberg - toughness
2000's Patrice Bergeron - faceoffs
2010's Connor McDavid - skating
the pooins lost game 7 at home LMAO
apehoop's kike commissioner just unironically banned the term "team owner" because it's """""dehumanizing and derogatory"""""
be grateful you have Gary in your life, he has fun with the boos and would never go so far to pander to subhumans
Please post cute pictures of your pet dogs, cats, or rats, /hoc/.
Hashek can wall off that player.
my sister's new puppy
I don't know he always looks like he wants to blow the place up when it happens
thinking of ening it all
Season don't fear the reaper
Nor do the wind, the sun or the rain
What is ening
empty netting
my pet rat. he licks things and has been crying a lot lately, he may need to be put down
that is merely the face of someone plotting for more shekels and a 33rd team in Guadalajara
I'd kick the fuck out of it. Stupid shit mutt
looks like he needs a bath
Thinking about >my team acquiring Bulju lads
>having pets
Emotionally stunted manchuldren
he is supposed to be atleast 1/8 dingo so he loves digging up random shit and burying it somewhere else. no doubt he was doing something similar on that day
Mario Lemieux
thinking about getting a pupper but i also want to travel to europe and perhaps elsewhere in the near future what do i do
Buy one and I'll "take care of it"
>Drafted first overall to the Edmonton Oilers
>7 words
My name is Sean let’s fuck
is Dubas a jew or just a 30 year-old zoomer?
thanks for fucking the market after only THREE contracts you butterteeth nerd
ontario
been all over this damn lake, and will continue to do so
man you guys will blame the leafs for literally anything won't you
>solve 6 captchas in a row, several with at least 6-7 squares to click
>please try again
how can anyone ever EVER buy a google product
Ancient legend says impressively sized mighty beavs dammed off the great lakes
cope
most of the time i can post without even having to do a captcha
Passed out with Vaseline on my dick last night woke up with a rash
>tfw brown skinned but unironically the best poster on /hoc/
t. Father of dick rash posting from his own future which is our present
Modern family is a pretty good show for NHL hockey offseason
>pacific falling apart
yup i'm thinking it's are year (canucks)
That’s a good show but I think Donkey Kong is the best video game ever
>reddit family
Same, lad. I run both /hoc/ and /cric/
sky is the limit
/our year/
I think donkey kong SUCKS
t. k. rool
Fuck off rajitpul
You know something? YOU suck
>reddit kong
TIL Kyle Okposo's favorite cereal is Cinnamon Life, he said as much in an NHL interview
i watch reddits burgers sometimes just because of coach mcgurks voice
don't you mean archer's voice?
You know what I think about youtu.be
Samefag, Tuukka Rask just said he could eat 50 chicken wings in 10 minutes
It's good
Goind away for a couple of days lads. Keep up the good work while I'm gone
Please don't go
Please don't come back
Will come back lads, don't worry!
Anyone in downtown Winnipeg wanna go out tonight? Predrinks at my place
>zoomers in charge of iconic references
whoaho ho ho there big spender! TOTAL care?! Thats top shelf Listerine. You're bound to find someone to take you up
>top shelf Listerine
kek
Litsterines ranked
>turqoise
>orange
>whitening
>blue
>purple
>green
POWER GAP
>yellow
i can tell just by looking at your thumb that you're a faggot
When does the little League World series start? I like watching the kids.
t. Squanto
Why is she eating a lemon when she said this?
>anime
Literally who fucking cares?
I'm downtown right now on 4th and Trudeau meet me in 15
DAILY REMINDER THAT THIS IS YOUR AVERAGE MILD FAN
Everything is just wild right now
the only good weeb is a dead weeb
kek. i member this lad
don't care, Satsuki is best girl
Sad :(
hockey is for everyone
this is a falseflag I can tell by the handwriting
Literally this
>only
>not ooonly
>root
>not rooooot
Not him. Good riddance
Thought I lost my spoon I was about to shit my shorts
pepperidge farm remembers
Wait there was a nigerian player?
have sex
>spoon
master race
It was for cucumber salad with extra hot sauce
Allah commands that you eat with your fingers and also wipe your ass with your fingers
>oliver kylington is swedish-eritian
YOU JUST KNOW
What sauce can you put on poptarts?
wtf when did I enter /cric/
you can melt a little butter on top of them
You guys dare me to make a funny noise to put on vocaroo and post in small dick /cric/
reminder that the pedosota mild exist KEK MILD KEK
Do an Australian accent not poo
no, don't stir the shit bees, in their shit nest. leave them there, we don't need them coming here and shitting up the place (worse than it is)
do an impression of an australian doing a poo accent
based incel screenshotting his own cringe posts
lads
LADS
>rags
Give me something to read
In many ways the knights won that series
woah
Just had a superb ham sandwich
Careful lad that’s what killed mama Cass
gonna play edge of tomorrow featuring /our scientologist/ tom cruise in 5 mins
gonna move to the mountains and be a hermit prospector
I have to eat a pound of turkey in the next few days, gonna make some mean sandwiches
gonna tug one out and then potentially feel worse afterwards
prospect deez nuts bitch
surprisingly, that movie is based
Your mom's gonna eat my pound of sausage
BASED
that isn't even the good version m8
the mad lad
What did they mean by this?
Good movie
>tampon bay, pres trophy, first round
>habs, second round
>laffs, first round
>panthers, third round
>bruins, miss
>wangz, miss
>sabres, miss
>sens, miss
>islanders, cup final
>caps, first round
>flyers, second round
>devils, first round
>pongs, miss
>canes, miss
>rags, miss
>jackets, miss
>shorks, second round
>flames, first round
>knights, first round
>nucks, miss
>yotes, miss
>ducks, miss
>kangz, miss
>oilers, miss
>preds, first round
>jets, second round
>blues, first round
>avs, third round
>hawks, cup champ
>stars, miss
>mild, miss
cap it fags
cytu be/r/offseasonhoc
I don't understand it
Why would anyone cap a post that is essentially 100% guaranteed not to happen
Is sebbo fat and smelly?
yes
Why is it so underrated
>flyers
>devils
>sharks
>hawks cup champ
retard
Lovely pupper.
: )
>hawks
>cup champs
With THAT goaltending? I’d say that the flames or avalanche are better to slot into the western final than them
did that for baiting purposes, but crawford was pretty great when he came back from concussion. lankinen is showing some promise too.
>Trusting Crawford to put up Stanley Cup winning goaltending for an entire season+off season after 2 back to back massive concussions
Yeah sure thing, Mike
>i-i was only pretending to be retarded
Crawford is suffering from vertigo. I don’t think a goalie can recover from such an issue. Delia isn’t amazing either but he’s serviceable. The hawks should call up gravel when he’s ready but I’m not a chiraqi faggot
Thanks. His name is Quigley.
Requires an account though. Is it free to join?
Those are so fucking disgusting how the fuck they ever sold one of those I’ll never understand, most disgusting thing I’ve ever tasted and it’s supposed to be “candy” go fuck yourself dont @ me
considering he just called the (((media))) to start rumors that make Point/Rantanen/Aho look like comparable players that are also getting 9.5-10.5/year offer sheeted?
YES you faggot fuck Dubas and fuck your team of overpaid zoomers
Yes one GMs statement regarding other players totally affects the entire market you fucking moron
just fell asleep, lads
>Crawford is suffering from vertigo. I don’t think a goalie can recover from such an issue.
he averaged about a .950 after he came back in february, so it seems like he's dealing with it pretty well.
>Delia isn’t amazing either but he’s serviceable. The hawks should call up gravel when he’s ready but I’m not a chiraqi faggot
i think if the next starter comes from inside the org, it's gonna be lankinen.
yes
>blackhawks
imagine being the only team to be winless against the golden knights
nice
dream of me please
watching raw lads
get off my /hoc/
kwab
just woke up
huomenta
hyvaa soumi or whatever
morning
faggots
Henrik lundquist
He was annoited “king” but he has no rings
He blew so many 2 goal leads in 2014
He escapes lots of criticism from the media
He always gets a pass for consistent failures
....suomi
Only 6 more days until Jim signs Myers to another Eriksson-tier contract
The Sedin twins lmao more like the three stooges
Huomenta Suomi
the canucks are, and always have been, truly an irrelevant team
Hyvää huomenta Suomi
good morning benisland
Why dont the leafs just let Marner get offersheeted and use the cap space to sign Duchene or Panarin then use their picks and the offersheet picks to trade for a Dman or another good winger?
surely if h benning wouldn't take that seabrook contract then he wouldnt be retarded to sign myers to a horrible contract
spoiler: he won't be offersheeted
Lads how do i deal with the fact that im going to die one day
by kys lad
have sex
ww3
just remember that we all go through it
Don't, live in constant fear until you are 70
They should do this, except for because of this .
Starting to think they should do it anyway. Fuck player agents.
reading boomer opinions on hfboards lads
woah, how'd he get over there?
>teleports behind your defencemen
>heh
h-he's fast!
Is it too early to call him a bust?
imagine paying skinner 9x8
imagine paying hayes 7.14x7
50s Geordie Howe - libido
60s Brett Hull - tolerance
70s Larry Robinson - compassion
80s Jarri Kuri - inclusivity/diversity
90s Eric Lindros - goatee
00s Chris Chelios - age
10s Ovechkin - patriotism
Never too early to call a player a bust.
imagine paying karlsson 11.5x8
imagine playing aho 6x8
Contracts should be discussed in terms of Cap percentage
Is it bad If I only know the players on my team? I can't remember all of these shitty European last names of other teams' players.
very true
luckily, >my team signed our karlsson to a friendly 5.9x8
Which is about 8m more than >your team could afford
imagine paying karlsson 14% of your total cap for 8 years
i know most players, but i'm really bad at remembering their numbers even on my own team
>giving a shit about the cap
sick of the cuckoldry in this previously glorious sport
>...........and with the 5th pick............... in the nhl 2020 draft..................the new york rags are proud to select..........................................from india...........................................................
>manju...............
*pulls out knife*
Imagine not caring about the ability to sign skilled players in a race for Lord Stanley's Cup
rph
come watch hockey clips on cytube, lads
play something other than hockey clips
God you west coast trannies and faggots are insufferable
we just finished watching a movie, but we can do that too
link?
cytu be/r/offseasonhoc
Lemonparty.org
desu
Please pat him on the head and tell him I said he is a good boy.
We watched a video of some schizo gook in San Fran last night
Who did they shoot? Angry ruins fan?
Guaranteed none of these people gave a rats ass about the Blose until the SCF
nah i think it was a hill billy canes fan
Basketball
neekeri :DDD
handboll
hockey
No racism on my hoop field
i'm listening
sorry, lapp
>a clearly drunk brett hull tries to explain to a crowd of 100,000 that "let's go blues" is over because "we went"
For me? It's goalball.
what's it mean?
based emmy-award winning aly lozoff
There should only be nhl teams in areas, where its possible to play pond hockey
does water freeze at different temperatures in other parts of the world?
that's literally everywhere
come watch random clips over at cytube, lads
>stay scared m8
UH OH user I'M GOIN-
BRAPPPPPPPPPP BRAP BRAPBRAPPPPPPPPP BRAP
OH NOT MY PANTIES
BRAP BRAPBRAP
I am posting emotes for /hoc/ cytube
The cutest player of all time
canes offered aho 6 million aav
>oilels
Bullshit
young nigga gotta get to the money
William Karlsson has to be the most swedish name I’ve heard
Should I get a Robin Lehner or a Matty Barzal jersey?
Börje Börgelsson
Why care about goalies? They never score. Same thing about defencemen
mir doesn't look too pleased with the twinks in this picture
i don't get it
they're both faggots
>tumblr
got it from bing images. thats my excuse
The official list of based team:
>Habs
>Rags
>Avs
>Flyers
>Canes
>Kitties
there are women in the hockey hall of fame
based
based
trash
trash
trash
trash
incel
all of them who have gotten in have done stuff to build "womens" hockey though. Nobody aside from Poulin / Knight / Szabados are getting in from this generation
>flyers
>based
try again
what about coyne?
Panarin-Zibanejad-Kakko
yeahs ok im alright with that but the thing is there is 5 women currently in the hall of fame and they have all been inducted as 'players'. there is a different category for 'building' womens hockey, literally called 'builders'
she could probably get in if she captains a national team to olympic gold. She does have some significant notches already
what if kakko busts?
pk subban is based
someone getting the new thread ready?
he's bust proof. literal savant. probably dreaming about getting pucks deep right now
does anyone on the rangers even speak finnish??
can someone be bust proof on the >rags?
Mika does
kakko is fluent i believe
new bread is ready
I understand where you are coming from. I hope in the future they just induct the ones who have clearly separated themselves from their peers
why can't you just fucking wait
i wanted to make a north america house hippo edition
hockey is for everyone except for niggers trannys and the danish/finns