/cyc/ - Tour de Suisse, Stage 9 + Slovenia, Occitanie

I`m in love with this Swiss podium thot.

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Yikes are those thots post wall?

They look like 24 year old italian girls

Furkapass 2436 metres
Hope they can breathe that high.

>are those thots post wall?
It's the same girl.
What you mean - post wall?

"the wall" is that term incels use to describe this mythical age when a woman's looks fall off a cliff.
don't worry about it.

I can't even breathe 5m below sea level because of hay fever baka

>mythical

yeah right mutt, maybe in your plastic nation this natural process doesn't happen but here in europe its easy to see 25 year old girls who like like theyre in their thirties

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>in europe its easy to see 25 year old girls who like like theyre in their thirties
Just as easy to see girls in their 30s who look like they're in their 20s.
The problem is porn/Instagram combined with not going outside and talking to actual women in real life.

They lose the ability to tell the difference between a photoshopped image and a human being.

After yesterday's stage.

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Ok, understand now.
Whatever, I don`t care, she's gorgeous.

That doesn't matter retard everyone ages and at some point their looks will deteriorate, that point is called the wall it's a fact not some mythical thing.

I`d still date her even if she is post wall.

'the wall' is not only an incel meme you american. Here it is actually the meme that italian girls are godesses untill 21 and then turn into fat housewives in an instant because they age rapidly irl.
Will have to take an shower now i guess, conversing with an american feels filthy

>that point is called the wall it's a fact not some mythical thing.
I'm not denying the existence of the term, I was explaining to that it's a term used mostly by frustrated half-men.

>Will have to take an shower now i guess
An Arab taking a shower? Well, there's a first time for everything, I guess.

>tfw a podium thotty will never give you a kiss on the cheek

>Y-you are Arab!!!!

Expected and Dissapointed at the same time.

Tfhu tfhu

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I hope Aru comes good again. He's got a good suffering face

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Might happen in another life.

This mad descending. I keep anticipating disaster every time they drive over a wet patch.

you talking shit about italian mommies ?

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You now remember Beloki. Or not, if you're a zoomer.

I'm an aussie in London and brits are a bit on the nose. Turns out they don`t bathe that often. I think it's the same on the european continent I heard.

Even if I was a zoomer, I'd know Joseba Beloki's crash. It's part of every Lance Armstrong career retrospective video package.
(Trying to sell cycling to NASCAR fans with crashes)

Poor bastard was never quite the same after that.

You now remember Jens Voigt in the 09 TdF

For me, its huge john carthy

Where is tiz hosting his streams now ? Dont want to visit his site if possible

It's not that big a deal mate. Just cherish the fact that your girls don't turn into blimps when hitting said wall. Just single mothers like every other country.

I actually didn't. That looks really shitty.

Anybody here seen the Wouter Weylandt crash live? I still remember the helicopter shot where they showed him laying there, his face completely busted and blood spewing out of his nose. Fucking Italians, that shit still haunts me.

saw all of those desu, Weylandt was the worst. Also remember Vino being carried by his teammates after breaking everything. Dutch cunt getting killed in Rio also looked pretty bad

>Anybody here seen the Wouter Weylandt crash live?
No. I don't think I want to.

Do you remember Annemiek Van Vleuten's crash in the Rio Olympic road race? For a bit, I honestly thought she was dead. The second camera motorbike passed her and she was still in the same place where she went down, having not moved at all.

Also saw this live diddnt even know that i watched TdF as far back as 1999

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Yeah, I thought she was dead too. I couldn't watch anymore and turned off the tv. After a while I read she was ok and was just in time to see Van der Breggen win from a lost position. Of course it's >women's cycling but that was a very memorable day.

Just came back from another ride short ride.

Welp, at least I have a chain ring (the middle one with 38) that is working flawless with all the gears from 11-32 cassette.
29.3 km/h on about 31 km distance.

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Guerini, yeah I saw this too. Was so happy that he still won.

Both the mens and womens races were fantastic, they really did a great job with that parcours.

Same, for sure thought she died right there, the way she hit her neck on the side of the pavement + no movement whatsoever afterwards.

>Cobbled climb
top comfy kino (only shite weather could make it even better)

I agree. I was just thinking that the Tour should include a stage like this, before remembering that no one would attack and it would just be everyone staring down at their stems the whole time.

>before remembering that no one would attack
S(he) be(lie)ve(d)

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I assume you mean a stage where there is only uphill and downhill and no flats whatsoever? I think that short stage in last tour was like that, that was pretty based.

But yes there should be more stages like that, valleys ruin mountain stages.

youtube.com/watch?v=v6mj0jf647E

11 years ago in Tour de Suisse I thought that Frank Schleck was dead, commentators thought so too. Then he just shows up again kek

>ARU

:(

Dont think Hirt is strong enough to go alone after the ascend they should have sent Kudus in the break to work for him after an attack

>no one would attack and it would just be everyone staring down at their stems the whole time.
That's what grand tours are, nowadays. You watch for scenery and comfy threads.

Jesus, must have spent years cobberling that road.

nice
Gilbert one comes to mind

They did attack some in the giro though

nice hairpins

Based Astana train, they have been crashing races with no survivors all season long

>the virgin movistar sitback
vs
>the chad astana murderpace

Does anyone know if the descent is cobbled too?

>German Eurosport showing Tour of Slovenia instead

Scenery is so comfy. Why we have no mountains, gib plz

The old road is, but it looks like they are descending over the new road.

They are doing a stage like that in the babbies giro.

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The fact Benoot is doing so well in this tour really shows how poor the climbing talent is here

Yes the field is really weak

Yeah, besides Bernal and Thomas all the good climbers went to the Dauphine

Benoot is a pretty decent climber tbf, he said himself that the Flemish races are not really his specialty

This commentator's accent sounds ridiculous
is it Irish?

>not watching dutch eurosport with based Karsten

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Sean Kelly probably cant stand Eurosport UK muppets

>having a tv contract in 2019

>mfw Hugh carthy gets caught in the final km

He wont, he is definitely stronger than the chasers and with this profile there is barely any advantage of riding in a group anyway. Maybe if the big guns in the peloton go absolutely crazy on this last climb, but I doubt it.

Kind of ridiculous what Carthy is doing here, he just destroys the field all by himself, from km 0. Inhaler has arrived or what?

It's not that weird, you could clearly see INEOS not really bothering to set a big pace when they were controlling the peloton so that's what allowed it
I guess it's surprising that nobody from the chasers/break is able to match him, there's some good riders in there

Its a weird stage where there is literally no valley sections. All climbing and descending is steep enough that there is a barely an advantage from riding in a group. If there is one stage in any race where it would be feasible to ride away on your own at km 0, this is it.

Still a hell of a performance though, but definitely not unbelievable.

Furkapass, time for inhalers and oxygen bottles.

Carthy has the same ridiculous body type as Dan Martin.

Hirt vs. Ineos train

Such a coincidence that only British riders are able to do this kind of stuff lately :>)

1 stage in the tour withour power meter and without radio contact

Thought?

It seems to be the day of lanky climbers

>avg 410 Watt

Ooouf ....

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no shoulders......

Sucks for me, to big a frame to be climber (195cm), not muscular enough to be sprinter

what do?

>i weight more than 100 kg with my frame
thank god for e-mtb

I don't know what you're talking about, Brits are all clean god save the queen :^)

time trial specialist.

Put some muscle on.

Im planning to do this exact ride during my holiday in a couple of weeks, for me it will be 150km though because Ill be starting and finishing a bit further down the rhone valley. Judging by this its going to be pretty comfy but also a bit unpleasant. I love cycling, lads.

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>I myself plan to climb Mount Puck as well

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Why is it always lanky tall Brits that can pull out incredible efforts....they are clearly below their normal weight, yet can produce power to no end and recover over night again.

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>Mount Puck
Oh I think I will

mmm

British mountains make brits naturally better at climbing :^)

both him and Dan Martin have huge head, no shoulders, tiny noodle arms, rectangular torso, weird legs with kinda beefy tights but stick thin lower legs.

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Didn't they try that some years back and the riders went on strike or some shit like that.

Marginal gains, my man. They bring their own pillows and mattresses to the hotels. They practice warming down. They put flavoring in the bidons to encourage the riders to hydrate more.

Literally no one else does that.

This moto/heli credits thing is cool as fuck, do other races do this?

>irrelevant for decades
>start dominating the sport out of nowhere
Not suspicious at all =^)

>They bring their own pillows and mattresses to the hotels
Tbf other teams are pretty stupid if they dont do this but after seeing in what hotels astana is staying despite their budget. YIKES

That was just over race radio.

I don't have a problem with the radios. It's the power meters that are killing the excitement.
>Oh boy, I should attack. I feel great and my opponent looks pretty gassed.
>*checks numbers*
>Hm...guess I won't.

>you now remember Enric Mas

Ballerini won European Games in Minsk

he is proof that quick step ain't doping just cunts

Remember? He's 24. This is 2019. Are you posting from the future?

who won at what???

>Ben Swift was actually keeping the pace, only about 10 guys left

All Brits should just be banned, this is getting retarded.

They had to give all the blood bags to Vivian.

Wait, really? He has the hairline of a 37 year old

European games is our new pedant to things like Asian Games. Seems like Italy was the only country bothering they also sent Cataldo

>nederlander die spreekt over haarlijnen

haha

Rohan Dennis really is doing great this race. I always laughed at his GC ambitions, he always choked massively trying to drag his fat ass up the climbs, but now he is actually staying with a very small elite group. Good for him desu.

That's interesting, I've never heard this stereotype over us before

Mas dead.

kaal

What other stereotypes are there?
I know height, cheese, marijuana, and some feud with the Germans over bicycles.

domme belg, ga friet bakken
that we're cheap

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Seems like your struggling with some insecurities, Yves.

I don't race anymore.

Talk me out of buying another set of carbon tubulars and an electronic groupset.

>>that we're cheap

Thats 100% true and actually our greatest quality. I have a fuckton of money to spend on the things I like, just from being cheap as fuck in terms of living standards.

Do whatever you want, yolo.

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based we west flemish do this as well

Easy. Since you don't race, you're probably fat. Carbon wheels still have rider weight limits. You don't want to be on a bike when your rim shatters into a million shards.

The electronic groupset, though, I can't help you with. EPS is fucking awesome.

>yfw Bernal and INEOS win the next 8 editions of the TdF

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switzerland is really beautiful, i wish i could live there
i'd love being a farmer and living in a quiet town in the alps

>not knowing about Evenepoel

based

don't you have beautiful mountains full with farmers in north portugal?

Dubs and Bernal crashes

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based Evenepoel, WvA and especially MVDP will save cycling

For me, that ice water is scary

race leaders were cucks for punishing him for this
Also, rolling

full of snow and such? of course not
all we have is rural hicks and wildfires

They did?

he's too crash prone

rural hicks are based though?

look at lampaert he is one

I estimate Lampaerts IQ at

>Anglocucks talking about Miles

No way , you think that because of his accent. Here in belgium he is known as quite witty doesn't come accross stupid at all.

To be entirely honest, that puts him above average for a pro cyclist

Isn't that just average in Belgium?

why do everybody bully him? even his own team twitter account (which is kinda weird since he's belgian champ and DQS is a belgian team)

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...

only for Walloniggers

Great stage desu, they really should have more stages like this.

where did the belgians are retards thing come from anyway. National IQ of both nations is literally the same? Unsurprisingly as we are closely related gentecically.

Why isn't the ausfalian attacking?

Show us the fight for 3rd ffs

>where did the belgians are retards thing come from anyway.
From the French. It's the accent. It's the same reason they think people from Quebec are stupid.

I think its in the way you talk, it just sounds fucking retarded to dutch people.

Until Evenepoel. Then he can focus on Ullrichs cigarette smoking record.

I believe if you let the rest of the world choose which accent they prefer most would prefer flemish as we don't have that guttural arabic sounding g sound

The virgin cancer Armstrong the chad smoker Ulle

What is Ulrichs cigarette smoking record?

>forgetting about Pogačar
g'mon guys

lol. based Ullrich. Failed a drug test in the off-season because he tested positive for ecstasy.

two bottles of whiskey and some mdma a day :)

This. People with an accent that is not from the big cities in Holland are probably historically viewed as farmers and uneducated.

But they cant hear how much you butchered the dutch language

777 in 7 hours iirc

Well, this was a fun little stage.
Thanks boys. Time to jump on the bike and get some in training miles of my own.
See ya.

TIZ YOU FUCKING KIKE

Did you know drug testing in tennis is a big joke?

Agassi was on crystal meth during his career and never got caught lol
lmao, dutch language it's epicentre was in flanders from 13Th to 15th century and then a hundred years in antwerpian brabant and only then in holland. You should question yourself why dutch is constantly winning the ugliest sounding language classification nowadays

hugh carthy imperious man mountain

Wtf just at the finish they had to fuck up the stream.

>tiz cycling dead

Meh

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I did my ride at 9:00 this morning because its hot as fuck here. Then after I was done showering I was just in time to watch the start of the stage. Absolutely max comfy sunday.

>it's a tiz jews his viewers episode

i've been here before

>whole site down

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INEOS MERDA

to wrap it up:

Tour de Suisse
GC: Egan Bernal
last stage winner: Hugh Carthy

Tour of Slovenia
GC: Diego Ulissi
Last stage: Giacomo Nizzolo

La Route d'Occitanie
GC: Aljandro Boomberde
Last stage: Arnaud Demare

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BERNAL CULO

Ineos merda but Bernal BASED

Bernal is a good boy, don't bully

Stop speaking our language then, cuck.

>imagine living in a made up country that doesn't even have its own language

Impressive by Rohan Dennis actually.

If he would be riding for Ineos, they would force him just to down his weight, to become a skeleton, and then use their typical Sky methods and he could be a potential GC contender.

What's with all those belgiand cucks not even finishing the race.

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???

Are you actually retarded? Nothing of what you said makes sense. >made up country : thank the brits for that.

lmao what a joke of a country

Aru doesn't look happy at the finish :(

Saving energy for national races.

Well, he knows he won't be in form for the Tour.

kom nr breda wollah, ktimmer je in elkaar

shameful display

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How can they look so fresh just a few minutes after that monumental efforts?
How can they hide their fatigue and pain so good or are they already recovering?

Where are the guys that gave 100% and can barely catch a breath for minutes later and look totally dead even hours after?

Nigel, is that you?

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Shit! Did I miss it?!

just train harder :)

he gone full punished this year anyway

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They are basically cyborgs now. In a decade we will know what kind of freaky genetic doping they are doing right now. Or motorized bikes of course. All marginal gains right ;-)

wtf is that trophy?

looks heavy....

>Konrad Patrick
Literally who?

>riding for a plastic oil country team
He learned the wrong lessons from Nibali

No I dont go south of the rivers

That's a good opportunity to win another vuelta.

Hes alright, one of the couple of Bora Boys who have started to shine this year while Sagan was being shit.

based
fuck Br*bos

Would be nice if we see a battle between Poomoulin, Roglic and Aru.

Would be more thrilling than the Tour for sure.

Cutie Ewan just BTFO Groenewegen right now on ZML tour.

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>tdf in 2 weeks

What's your hype level?

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>What's your hype level?
fuck anime /10

2/10

Anime is life...

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Hm, what will you do today now and the next weeks until the Tour?

I am gonna make something to eat now, and clean up my room a bit and then play some Quake and Warcraft 3.

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Pretty fucking high desu. Even got vacation during it for the first time in years.

Is there any good race before the tour?
Pro cycling simulator is coming out next week so I may play that shit.

national championships are higly entertaining

Dutch national champs are coming through my town but all the participants are literal nobodies

who cares

>not supporting you local riders

yikes

>Aru vs a bunch or literally whos

At least I'll get to see him winning.

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Hey ill probably still be on the roadside supporting, but its just a bit sour when there is no VDP or Groenewegen. Doesnt feel like a real national championships but more like a second tier race that way.

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Ulissi

link me startlist, fampai

Haven't seen one yet but i've heard Moscon for the TT and Aru and Nibali for the road race.

Let's rate the GC contenders for the Tour.

5 stars: Bernal, Thomas G.
3.5 stars: Fuglsang, Yates, Pinot, Uran
2 stars: Quintana, Buchmann, Landa, Kruiswijk
1 star : Poels, Bardet, Mas, Dennis, Porte, Nibali V.

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>Strongest contenders are Fuglsang, Yates, Pinot, Uran

Lmao may as well just straight up give the yellow jersey to Ineos

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I did not include any other Ineos riders in the list, as they all in the end for for G. or his substitute Bernal. And the rest of the Ineos team could easily all themselves ride for a top 10 result....UCI should introduce a budget cap.

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P-pls no bully :(

***** Pinot,
**** Fuglsang, Bernal, Thomas
*** Quintana, Kruiswijk, Uran, Bardet
** Poels, Yates, Landa
* TJVG, Nibali, Dennis

- * Porte will he make it through week 2?

Hm, from all that bike riding I actually got a rather low resting heart rate at 49.
Though it is not measured a few minutes after activity like the sports people do, but rather just me sitting, posting and moving to the kitchen / toilet occasionally.

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***** Thomas
**** Bernal, Pinot, Kruijswijk
*** Uran, Fuglsang, Yates, Bardet
** Buchmann, Landa, Quintana, Nibali
* Poels, Porte, TJ

Made before the Froome crash, obviously

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