Reminder That This Actually Happened

>The Boston Bruins lost the Stanley Cup to the Blues of St Louis

Total meltdown chokejob on home ice. Absolutely embarrassing.

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Hockey literally has a shelf life of 2 days. Anything after that, and no one gives a shit.

- Signed, salty Bruins fan

The NHL needed a midwestern story line with select Canadian and former leafs to take the Cup from public enemy number one. The writing staff had really jumped the shark by inventing the "Vegas Golden Knights " and injecting them directly into the stanley cup finals. They needed a more humble underdog storyline, but they're reluctant to use their trumpcard of a maple leafs or Montreal Canadian cup run just yet, especially competing with the NBA writers Canada title story arc for 2019.

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I think one of the most subtle but forgotten themes of this year's story was the humble Blue Jackets sweeping the Lightining - gave you that unexpected "No one is safe" feeling for the rest of the playoffs and helped open up the Columbus market for the next few years

JUST

That's a hell of a theory. Tell me more.

With lebron james now in the West the Ohio market needed a hockey story

For decades no one thought that basketball, as a theatrical production, could make headway in Canada against the National Hockey League. The NHL’s scriptwriters were thought to be too naturally, intuitively in touch with Canada’s Victorian and Protestant values. And Canada, owing to its geography, had a natural market corner on “athletic” performers who could skate. The league could always come up with a backstory and an affable personality for a “Wayne Gretzky” (actually a figure skater from Swift Current named Kevin Feinberg) or “Alexander Ovechkin” (born Dennis Brian York in Nepean, Ont.)

Thank you. That's just the kind of story and theory I needed. Also, (((Feinberg)))

Head showrunner Gary Bettman adopted an ambitious strategy of colonizing new American markets, but failed to bring new blood into the writing room. He was left with increasingly cheap, desperate moves like inventing the “Vegas Golden Knights” and injecting them directly into the Stanley Cup final.

Accounts of when and how the so-called “National Basketball Association” decided to exploit this weakness remain cloudy. They say one of the writers was thumbing through the sport’s “bible,” the binder every television program keeps on hand to guarantee continuity, and noticed that basketball’s creation myth actually involves a Canadian inventor-hero, “James A. Naismith.” (This has always invited suspicion among the punters. How many Naismiths do you run across?)

Then who really invented basketball, and why?

This is non-ironically Bettman's biggest oversight. Assuming the Canadian market is 'locked' and letting it slip to the NBA. Lookout for secondary Canadian teams (Winnipeg/Ottawa) in the finals next year. They won't play their final Ace and put the Leafs in unless the NFL moves to the Bills to Toronto (which don't forget wasn't totally out of the question a few years ago)

You’ve been fed the Naismith fairy tale about a white (of course) Presbyterian educator from the northern wilds who looked at some peach baskets one day and had a brainstorm. This kind of Boy’s Own/G.A. Henty leftover was not much practical use to anyone writing for today’s audience. But it obviously provided a hint. NBA Inc. began carefully inserting Canadian characters into key plotlines. The risk of asking viewers to buy stage-trained Englishman “Steve Nash” (real name Gareth Cavendish) as double league MVP was high but justified. There were setbacks. The staff spent months analyzing its “Anthony Bennett” misfire.

The NHL writers have felt too comfortable with the Canadian fanbase to worry. This Canadian NBA title might force the NHL to play a trump card

Yet here you are

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>Leafs winning the Cup
Never.

The NHL could write in a deep playoff run for Calgary or Winnipeg just to keep us on our toes

Leafs will acquire a big defenceman by 2022 and that will be the completion of the Babcock, Mathews, Marner story arc

Then Canadians will be mollified for a while so a few small market American teams can take the chip

>Bombston fans were so convinced they would sweep

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Boston you are a disgrace

But on a serious tip, fuck Boston and the entire Jew England area.

Boston sucks. Faggots

If the defense weren't such absolute dogshit they would have won most likely. They outshot them by a ton, and kept losing momentum to dumb plays in their own end.