/heem/ - Relaxing Edition

Upcoming events:

06/14 - ONE FC Hero Series June
06/14 - Bellator 222 - Machida/Sonnen
06/15 - ONE FC Legendary Quest
06/15 - ROAD FC 054 - La/Yang
06/20 - ONE FC Warrior Series
06/22 - UFC Fight Night 154 - Moicano/Jung
06/22 - Bellator 223 - Mousasi/Lovato Jr.
06/22 - GLORY 66 - Doumbe/Nabiyev
06/22 - Bare Knuckle Fighting Championship 6 - Lobov/Maliginigee
06/29 - UFC on ESPN 3 - Ngannou/Dos Santos

news:

>Wonder boy wants Nate
bjpenn.com/mma-news/ufc/stephen-thompson-eyes-war-with-legend-nate-diaz/
>Volkanovski is alternate for 240
mmamania.com/2019/6/12/18663532/ufc-alex-volkanovski-standby-save-ufc-240-max-holloway-frankie-edgar-bail-title-fight-mma
>Khabib says Tony is next
mmafighting.com/2019/6/12/18662850/khabib-nurmagomedov-trashes-conor-mcgregor-shoots-down-possible-rematch
>Hubris
mmanews.com/dillon-danis-im-a-level-above-everybody-in-mma/
>Surprising back story
bloodyelbow.com/2019/6/12/18654753/hakeem-dawodu-mma-kajan-johnson-pull-no-punches-podcast-video-interview-ufc-news-pnp

OP pastebin: pastebin.com/gEp5ckuN
previous:

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Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=d2i6XRKHFJI&feature=youtu.be
youtu.be/rN0ietnlQV4
youtu.be/G83_zQPVkHE
urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=HEEm / H33m
archive.4plebs.org/sp/thread/65984101/#q65990802
youtube.com/watch?v=amJShFHvbuY
youtu.be/PFnkWjmvMOA
mobile.twitter.com/TheZaneSimon/status/1138849182570012672
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

>Diaz OP
>Calendar
Yup, this is the thread

>He say to me, please, I beg u, do not keel me
>Why do I fight guy who not win nothing in three year?

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CONOR MCGREGOR BEGGED 'PLEASE DON'T KILL ME' AT UFC 229

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>on my usual tapology run
>find shitty india org that has little to no info
>get a nice old afl style super trashy mma

youtube.com/watch?v=d2i6XRKHFJI&feature=youtu.be

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this looks like the one

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you guys think khabib wanting to fight Tony instead of conor is doable or will dana force the rematch?

Why would that whiskey guy be fighitng Khabib???

If khabib keeps saying it it would be hard to go another direction.

prime schaub would heem ngannou

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$$$

He probably wants the Conor fight and is using Tony to sell it. A rematch, especially if Conor gets a tuneup with a guy he can look good against like Al,
Edson, or Cowboy, would be great business for Khabib and he wouldn't have to suck terrorist cock to put a roof over his head.

Prime Tony would heem Ngannou

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>if Conor gets a tuneup with a guy he can look good against like Al,Edson, or Cowboy
conor loses to any of those

>

Not a McGoober fan but I reckon it's possible he could stop Tony. Of course this all depends on what kind of state he's in these days.

Much more likely is him gassing in the 2nd round and getting dismantled.

my body is ready

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Nate unironically beats khabab, Porier, Halloway, Sperguson, and Goob

are these niggas seriously fighting in the dark?

Of course it's possible, but it's definitely unlikely. Conor has no one-punch-ko power at this weight. Conor has no reach advantage against Tony and I don't even need to bring up grappling, lmao.
What do you think Conor's winning gameplan against Ferguson would look like?

>Porier
Nate had his chance wtf happened?

>it is reported that aldo is 168lbs/70odd kgs.

>Yet Conor, whom is 3 inches taller and has a longer reach, has stated many times being 170-177lbs max. hes a huge FW and big LW
Conor has also had his weight stated as 155 and 160lbs during his two arrests.

>People here claim khabib is 200lbs walking at 5'10 and not particularly large framed.

>Till walks at 200lbs and is huge for a WW.
Source

>Brian Ortega said during open questions, that he walks around at 185lbs/82kgs then cuts to 145lbs/64kg

>However, Georges St.pierre says the largest he got to(joe rogan podcast) was 190lbs, to make middle weight, which implies he was about 180lbs+ back in his WW days, and he was abig framed WW.

I had to delete all my source links, but google what I wrote for yourselves to research.h

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Pooprier bitched out

If it was 2015 Conor, then keep distance, select powerful shots that would rock Tonys dodgey chin and ko him. I wouldn't of doubted conors ability to beat all these guys back then, he has amazing accuracy and balance , but fame went to his head and hes a shell of a man.

Poirier > Khabib because fate has ordained that habeeb vs t ferg is never to happen

khabib doesn't care about money homie

It all depends on his power at 155. I'm inclined to agree with you that it's an issue.

If he can counter well and keep on top of Ferguson's volume then that'd be a good start. I actually thought Cowboy had a great blueprint for dealing with him in the first round, but then of course Tony Ferguson happened, like it usually does.

He'll need better TDD than we've seen (although his rate of improvement was impressive) as he won't just be dealing with wrestlers shooting power doubles.

Controlling the range + volume and being able to hang with Tony past r3 are going to be the biggest challenges.

I think that Tony's positioning when he's on the offensive can be suspect at times, but I appreciate he's an intelligent fighter and generally he only leaves openings in ways he has established will not be exploited.

I just think there's a route there for a high-level striker (which may not be Conor) to exploit.

Tl:dr footwork, counter-punching + combinations, not getting taken down, not gassing, staying away from those elbows. He'd be beaten soundly by Ferguson in all likelihood.

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Khabib does not walk at 200, that's clearly bullshit

It's nice to see that Tony is actually getting the credit from all fans that he's really, really fucking good. It can only be positive for his mental health.

>6''4 handsome white champ
>whiny loser vibes
>butt-ugly autistic dyel manlet nigger
>chad vibes

How is that works?

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Poirer - Khabib is much closer than people think. Poirers standup technique is the most crisp at LW and Khabib is very sloppy standing. He could easily get hit with a bomb coming in.

He's bigger than Porier

Literally what people say about every matchup of Khabib's.
Still undefeated.

>it's a "joe starts crying while reminiscing about Fear Factor" episode

HEY HEY HEY

He lost the Tibau fight

*double collar ties you*

Dude, 180 at the high end. Poirier about 170

oh fer sher Tibau didn't get bullied against the cage the entire fight

Best commentators in order
>Rogan
>Smith
>Anik
>Goldberg
>Cormier
>Cruz

based

Rogan hasn't been good since 207

In order of worst to best, yes.

Rogan is worse than the ONE FC over exited sperg commentator and Frank Trigg in Rizin

Fuck that guy and his game of thrones references

Based and heavyweightpilled

>no mike bisping or dc

gtfo

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Bisping fucking sucks, I'll take dumbass Dan Hardy over him any day.

Joe "I would let a monkey fuck my wife" Rogan

how dare you

he acknowledged he's a meme

2 days for pettis vs masvidal and Romero vs Barnett grappling matches

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Wait, Yoel is wrestling the HW Josh Barnett?

listen buddeh you have no idea what your spouting outta your shit filled mouth bro

>argues with Karyn about importance of keeping your chin tucked
>gets heem'd by Fatselum not keeping his chin tucked

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Luke Barnatt

The lanklet bong that gets heem'd?

>tfw Melvin Manhoef never fought in the UFC

He was supposed to beat Lawler

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He won the story of the fight but then Lawler won the story of their careers

women are shit

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So the Nick Diaz fight, but instead of a shitty stoner dumbass, it's Ferguson.

I would stick my dick in that serbian film style

Looks like Brendans' mouth

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Is there an MMA channel out there as horrific as this one?

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Believe you me podcast

So you’re saying bisping was right?

Mma world

I'm saying he's an idiot that talks out his ass. Why would he go against something he felt very strongly about.

It does

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I have no idea how people enjoy watching those shitty unfunny animations

Made by a towelhead

did you catch his face reveal?

perfect

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All those shitty channels with 5 minutes of a rap beat with recent tweets and instagram posts of fighters. Usually titled with some clickbait that's at the end of the video. There's like 10 of them

I've always pictured him being one of those creepy Indian types who sexually harass women over Facebook Messenger.

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Whatever happened to those non-muslim russians? I thought there was supposed to be a wave of fighters after Fedor? Like his brother(not Aleks) and some other dudes they train with.

Sergei Kharitonov is the last hope

Russians zoomers are obsessed with internet and technology. Aside from muzzies very few people wants to fight here

Roy Nelson vs Mark Hunt was the last Kino HW fight.

Prime Krazy Horse heems Khabeeb.

That three piece soda song is great

Man. Kharitonov, Vovchanchyn... They don't make em like they use to. *cracks one*

Makes sense. I just bankrolled a family vacation to Bali. We were chillin' by the poolside looking towards the forest and rice fields and whatnot, eating/drinking excellent food. My fucking zoomer cousins had their faces glued to fucking PUBG nonstop. THey might as well be in somalia eating KFC on a dirt road. Man, I got so pissed.
Yeah. Fighting is the poor man's sport.

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Nah. Brenben Schaub trying to stop his soul from ascending to the ethereal plane is pretty kino, IMO.

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Faber is getting heem'd, he almost lost to alex Caceres lmao

I imagined brutal street fights to be a pretty common thing growing up there, am I off base?

*Dong*
*requiem for a dream starts playing*
Yellow,

Today we will look at (insert fighter)
>look how he moves... completely in flow state
>years of depression and lonliness as driven him *flashback*
>until this very moment where... the univhersse has put him
>*grainy black and white slowmow*
>and then...he gets the knckout...againsy all odds right here

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Imagine being able to sit down with your son and show him the video of the time you heemd Cro Cop, you piecing up Gonzaga, and your first comedy special, all in the mansion you’ve bought and provided for him.

Too bad his "son" is mentally deficient and won't give a shit or know if his dad was good or bad at fighting or carlmedy.

somebody redpill me on Coral

>Yellow
Kek
what a fucken faggit

Lurk moar newfag

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You think Schaub remembers all that in 10 years?

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This really boggles my mind how people find this funny

Is anyone taking picks for bellator tomorrow

Fucking lol, forgot all about this pseudointellectual.

Brendan Schaub simply did not have it takes to be a successful UFC fighter

Well, people think Ben Askren is funny so there ya go.

_subvreting people into thinking someone who doesnt exist really does exist for the luls

wew lad your so 1980s russia

Unironically feel bad for you. H8ing on another mans success that has no effect on you? Literally buncha jealous bitches baka

i personally liked the cerrone tony one but....im just a virgin cazzie

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Unironically feel bad for you. Moralizing towards anonymous posters on a shitposting site. Literally smol brained white knight.

youtu.be/rN0ietnlQV4
p4p
Numero uno

What's the current heem meme?

tony

source on this wankery?

Mindsmash

Friendly heeminder: Schaub made more money talking with his bro for an hour here than you will make this month.
youtu.be/G83_zQPVkHE
youtu.be/G83_zQPVkHE
>hurr but I’m better because my friends on reddit h8 Schaub too!
Grow up! Buzz buzz
youtu.be/G83_zQPVkHE

the eternal schaub

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My diary desu

me

No

Nunes vs CejuGOAT for the 135 Womens belt is the only fight to make

Cant use spoilers, so reverse image search this and click on the first link

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>open first video
>YELLOW
>close it
thanks bro

Who has the best bunda in the UFC?

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urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=HEEm / H33m

you

90 lb dune coon

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*walks out to evanescence in a duster with two airsoft desert eagles*

Khabib is undefeated

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>Shev starts blowing out women on a monthly basis
I guess I'm down

We talmbout blow the belt?

Toilet Till won the story of the fight

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>2000+19
>still calls mcgregor mcnuggets
>still calls khabib tiramisu

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When I was in school we had two rival neonazi groups who were fighting non stop and had a fight club where you could fight between lessons. It was more than 10 years ago.
As far as I know it's an average school now. I see zoomers who is studying there now and no one of them would survive in the place I grew up. And it happened practically everywhere. Even in Omsk where Yan lives and it was one of the roughest cities in Russia.
Yeah. I am happy that they live better than I did but they are spoiled brats who can't appreciate anything

>had a fight club where you could fight between lessons. It was more than 10 years ago
Lol we did the same thing minus the neonazis

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh based????

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>he's hurt
>that shot hurt him
>stop the fiiight :(
>legkicks, can't take too many of those
>[watching top 10 guy destroy a can] we're looking at probably the greatest combat sport athlete in history

kek this, that shit is atrocious

Has Tuivasa ushered in the adlay era?

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*sucks air through teeth*

*cancels your undefeated status*

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Can we get a “one more run at the belt” meme going for the California boomer? I’m almost certain they will give him a title shot if he wins his comeback fight

I fucking hate Faber

bullshit, he definitely beats Al

He fucking hates you

Are any of these fights actually going to happen though?

>one more run at the belt, brother

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there's no way that cucknuggets wins the khabib rematch, he's adamant on flushing his career completely

Faber could unironically beat Cejudo if he still looks like he did against Brad Pickett

I don’t think conor even trains anymore he wil probably just show up get hugged against the fence and get his huge paycheck

I don't think he even wants to fight anymore. He only shilling shit now and bragging about something. I don't think he would decline the fight if khabib proposes it but I am 99% sure he won't fight anyone to break his losing streak and earn the title shot

Without hesitation state unequivocally who your favourite femal fighter is now.

Wish i went in HS with her and i was one of the lucky guys

what do you mean?

favorite /heem/ moment?

Joe Rogan Gang ranked in order from highest to lowest
>Eddie
>pre-JUST Bill Burr
>Alex Jones
>Theo Von
>Joe Rogan
>Brian Callen
>Young Jamie (Reddit audience surrogate)
>Joe's "Buddy of Mine" who he makes up all of his fake stories about
>Brian Redban
>Ari Shaffir
>Brennin Schaulb
>Joey Diaz

what was the old asian lady

thats hot af desu

archive.4plebs.org/sp/thread/65984101/#q65990802

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Based

Nia made Bill love a dog only to make him give it up.

>PLEASE Dana just one more run at the strap
>BJ you've had 8 one more runs at the strap in a row

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>2019
>still listening to rogan

kek janny

Khabib is underestimating Dustin and he gets heemed

Why hasn't USADA caught pretty much anyone this year if everyone in the UFC is on steroids?

>Shittystrikingbib gasses by round 3 after getting all his takedowns stuffed like he did with Al and Goob
>Engages in standup, tried to pretend he is less gassed than he is, threatens a few takedowns so Dustin will be hesitant to take advantage of the situation
>Dustin sees through his deception, swarms him and Fatbib gets blown the fuck out

anyone here who actually hates bisping? seems like I'm the only one

everyone loves this piece of shit for some reason

Khabib never won a war.

motivated BJ mogs Khabib

He's the undefeated champion have some respect for the man.

This. And he never will

Based!

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Because they're in on it. They turn a blind eye to most people, but they need to look like they are doing their jobs. Jon's suspension got reduced dramatically because of his "co-operation" with USADA. They let everyone fly under the radar to let the UFC give the impression of being a genuine clean sport with most fighters being natty. They get Jonny Bones to offer them up a sacrificial lamb every now and then so they don't look suspicious. I assume Costa will be next offered up after his fight with Romero, because they're pushing HARD with the Yoel natty genetic freak meme.
Look into it

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Damn. Same shit over here, lol. We won't fight inside the school. But if we ever saw any group from other school (uniforms are mandatory for everyone), it's a fight.

He's okay. The game has def passed him.

He's buying his own hype cause he manage to spark conor (who looks like shit, tbf).

What did janny baleeted?

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GDR is a good bet she is going to TKO Aspen Ladd.

hating bisbong is a pre ufc 100 attitude

ummmmm did someone say Michael "The Count" Bisping

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They use something that isn't banned or it's easy to hide obviously. TJ was on juice for years and they only got him recently for EPO. Testing is a meme

TJ only popped because he ran to any open mic and bitched about the finish

If someone with the integrity of TJ can pop then I believe Nate that they're all on steroids.

TJ Dillashaw was a big one I think.

>Novitsky famous for an EPO bust
>USADA only JUST started testing EPO
I got a bridge, wanna buy it?

They pretty much gave the game away when they said they don't even regularly test for these things because the expenses. Chael got busted for blood doping years ago, yet they don't bother with EPO testing because they're greedy jews. I bet it's the number one thing fighters are doing. They won't even crack down on it either. They just used TJ to spook fighters and they'll bust someone else in a few years to spook fighters again. They don't give a shit

>Who has the best bunda in the UFC?

Mackenzie Dern. Tetas too

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All of them

one upon a time maybe, she's a gaping 350lb whale of a mother now

Nate, and no...but there are certain limited similarities

She's staying in shape for someone who's pregnant

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um swettie, she isnt pregnant anymore, she already schaub'd out the baby

does anyone train jew jitsoo here? my first competition is in a few weeks, what should i bring with me? a guy in my gym mentioned coconut water but that sounds like a meme

Like yesterday tbf

It's good for electrolytes. Pretty much just a less effective natural version of an isotonic drink, unless there's something else I'm missing?

this

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and she still looked decent at the very end. She's not going to blow up like most amerifats.

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The problem is it's impossible to detect what their take because almost everything nowadays has a very small detection window. Moreover sum of the stuff they take is not even in the list of banned substances. They take some high end shit only Olympic athletes and high end athletes can afford

jones will lose
>t-this time!!!

*somersaults off your back* oh, I think you will be surprised

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Chael has never had a good fight IQ

Why is everyone trying to make a case for Poirier? He is getting a title fight for fucking up a Holloway that went up a class and came in looking light. Everyone else he beat recently is either old like Pettis or Alvarez or overrated like Gaethe. Khabib is going to fuck him up on the ground. Khabib is always way heavier than everyone which allows him to maintain top control so easily. Don't be fools because you hate the muzzie. Ferg is our best shot. Bet Khabib and make the easy money.

reminder Bobby Knuckles is the GOAT
youtube.com/watch?v=amJShFHvbuY

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Unironically what did he mean by this? I have never seen anyone do this in my entire life.
He looks like he is trying to invent a new transition into anaconda choke without gator rolling

By any means necessary, Joe.

*strolls into the thread with my hands down and my chin up*
Hello, sodomites.

Does Stipe win the rematch?

fair warning my bee, i've been banned a few times for posting street heems, janny doesnt like it. be careful

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Tony mogs Verdum
Colby loses to Verdum

My bad bee, I'll get rid of it

would be highly appreciated if you guys let me make the ext thread

what do u think heem
should we let him?

You need to have a certain height of ki to appreciate Bobby. Plebs think he is a boring, milquetoast indivudual, but those on his level can sense that his power level is off the charts. I bet he is so seething at Adesanya for acting like Le Anime Man yet only watching pleb naruto.
Bobby is /ourguy/ and he is going to end the Redditsanya meme

So that is the true power of Basketball Americans.

He tried to explain that there is this move in wrestling, but either it was executed so incredibly poorly or it was a fixed fight.

The reason Werdum started shit with Tony is because he was getting brutally handmogged by a LW

Candesanya is bum, based Bobby will embarass this faggot nigger badly

Why did MacKenzie Dern let a subhuman cum inside her? Also, why didn't he cum all over those amazing tits instead? Do you think he licked her feet or pits?

So many questions

So Bellator 222 is 8am for UK? what the fuck is that timing.

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>its true
que the fuck

Imagine begging 38yo retired GSP to fight you at 155 for "muh legacy"

why do white women do this?

I just imagined it, what now?

seems like it's wrong, it's supposed to be on 10pm eastern time which is 5 hours behind us so 2am like it usually does or it might be true and 2am might be the start of the very first fight on the prelims, fucking ridiculous.

If GSP beats khabib, he got beat by an old retired man
If he beats GSP, he beat an old retired man

imagine saying you woud not fight at welterweight because you wouldn’t have the size advantage there

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It's strangest thing for me was that he wanted them to fight at 155-160 when it's obvious that GSP won't be able to make such weight. It baffles me

codys last fight where he heem'd himself

why don’t khabib challenge woodley usman Colby or even askren? is he afraid of fresh young competition? he says he’s small for welterweight but calls out a literal 40yo retired middleweight

>loses

Yes. In that case Jones should cut his legs and arms off and fight me at featherweight because I have never lost a round in mma. Should be good for my legacy

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cejudo is the goat, accept it

Khabitch is a virgin and a bum like you

why are you guys always seething about something or the other?

Relax.

King of the manlet pit, lord of all he surveys

I have a gf and you are gay.

Tibau wins the rematch

fuck off

You are walking home from the bar. It is late at night. The streets are now deserted. You walk past an alleyway. You hear a noise and you turn your head to the cause of the sound.
You spot a cute girl. She is sobbing and screaming for help. She does this because she is getting feverishly raped at a rate that can only be fuelled by cocaine. The individual raises his head and you recognise him. His pupils are dilated so much as to be fully black, and his mouth is curled into a grin. Saliva drips from his clenched teeth. He smiles a ghastly smile but there is no emotion in his eyes. He looks as if borne from a nightmare but you realise that this man is in fact Goobert. The beautiful young girl wails and begs for your help. You have no reason to assume that Goob will attack you if you just leave now, but if you stay.....
What do you do?

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>bottle is obviously closer to 4,5 inches than 3
>meaning she would look at a 9 inch dick and consider it the lower end of average
brehs..

isn't it also an opportunity for GSP to become the only one who had belts in three weight classes?

RELAX

Hang on brother. BJ is making a run at the featherweight title as we speak.

Beardless Conor wins the rematch

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Tell him good luck in the rematch and be on my merry way

he better hurry before henry "pest exterminator" cejudo gets there first

You have a bull and you sit down, bitch

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uhm call the police?

double team the girl

chant "ole ole ole ole" and wave my tricolour

I'll give him fake location so he will leave

Was Jamal being Asian one of the greatest twists in the history of media?

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kek BJ.
Only if Frankie beats Max

which he will Max is an exposed can

>being a sub-13 inch dicklet
lmao why do you still live?

tbf I didn't see it coming

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This is the personality type I fucking dread having to deal with when I hear an Indian contractor is coming on-site

imagine Cujedo with three belts and that gold medal

That is a SALTY recerd b

chihuahua

>Never won a title
>Popped for roids
>Lost to Silva twice in the worst ways possible
>One of the biggest heels in the sport
Yet he’s still almost universally loved today. How did he do it?

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>gets BTFO and cucked out of the belt at every single turn by Aldo
>Aldo loses the title
>Yeah I'm thinking it's time for one more run at the strap brother
based frankie

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based

>three belts
>implying when he heems Amanda he isn't taking both belts from her

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based eternal title contender man

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I thought Jamal will be gay white dude

More like brutality analy raped

I hope he wins so Aldo can get the next title shot

Rena made weight bros

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>that drained figure
wtf bros my waifu is a cutbabby. i cant believe this. I won't deboy her for this but i'm docking points

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Loose my number b...

>be cutbabby
>win
>don't be cutbabby
>lose

I own /heem/ and that’s that.

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Dana prays Poirier wins. Dana can then set up the rematch with Conor and Tony can fight Khabib for #1 contender spot

I hate niggers and always root against them. Just thought everyone should know.

I was going to say "based" but that is black people slang. Dandy.

>DC gets "injured" to duck Stipe fight
>Diaz pulls out because he feels "disrespected"
>Yoel and Costa both pulse picos

Is this shooped something looks off about him

could I also ask for your favourite female fighter please

thanks

>he doesn't root for nogs when they're fighting hues or asians
>t. Jamal

He talks really loud and pauses in the middle of sentences, so people think he's saying important shit.

Is it really...THAT simple?

Attached: Nate beats a child.webm (1280x720, 2.89M)

>that babby's skin tone

Based Dern staving off the white genocide by somehow managing to make an ethnostate-approved baby

He
Extravagantly
Eliminates
Machida

To be fair, I'd also be begging for GSP to cuddle with me for 5 rounds after seeing what Tony did to Cowboy.

youtu.be/PFnkWjmvMOA

The reason people are anti vegan is because they know it's a lie.

>Rogan

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Wtf is this?

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Win or lose Volk will get the next shot.

nah volCANovski fight zabit next

The Bellator weigh ins are through, where is the guy who "took over" taking the picks?

volcan oezdemir exposes maximum hollywood

Claudia's bum is underappreciated.

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The premier organization of this shitshow we call a sport

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At least we have this peach to look forward to.
>T-thank you Dana..

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tfw they will never cut modaferi

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Thats not real is it. Holy shit

I'd rather watch my grandpa fight

all the memes aside, what the fuck is going on with juan adams ?
was his head put in a bench vise as a kid ?

his mom thought she could push it back in

>4 fat out of shape trash heavyweights
>Sam “The Cuck” Alvey
>2 WMMA bouts
Why is Dana punishing us?

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Literally won't even watch this one

Who is that man who looks like Loki?

come home white man

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AHEM

*pause

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The random can that Sam Alvey is fighting has a finish over Johnny Walker

Name my fight gang

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>all the memes aside, what the fuck is going on with juan adams ?
>was his head put in a bench vise as a kid ?

They found him in a glacier.

Every vegan male I see looks like he has aids, that's enough evidence for me.

the cringe and the bluepills

I still can't believe they cut my boy Elias

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Based. I'm all about the heavyweights. Nothing is more exciting than fights that can end at any moment. Manlet pointfighters, take a hike.

And given how that fight went, they clearly will never match another wrestler against him again.

dana was scared about mma not looking professional enough

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>Rogan

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>UFC pro """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""fighter""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Attached: elias theodorou spinkick.webm (1280x720, 2.94M)

The Unfuckables.

*puts Greg Hardy in a main event in your path*

they should've kept him for shits and giggles. I loved that fight.

Only cazzies didn't like this fight. It was the definition of k i n o

those 2 women have wins over the shevchenko sisters

Man Luke looks awful

that showtime low kick landed FLUSH, dumb cazzie

Dana fears the leaf

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He won a lot of fights, though. I'm not a fan, but it's a bad look to cut a guy just because he fights like a goof (usually successfully).

It's an even worse look to have a complete fucking retard like that pulling a positive record. He was exposing just how fucking talentless the UFC is.

Who the fuck gave him this nickname?

mobile.twitter.com/TheZaneSimon/status/1138849182570012672

>its a bad look to cut a boring perennial gatekeeper who’s made zero progress
oh for sure

he himself i bet

/heem/ didn't send him enough energy tb.h, imagine if he had won

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Hey losers. My name is Elias Theodoroux and I could almost punch every one of you

Either this or some gay promoter who watched the movie 300 before his fight

We're all fans of elias here, go to reddit

>runs away
>swats your shoulder
>gently kicks the side of your leg
pshh, nothin personnel

He is the proud descendant of the legendary Xanthippus of Carthage.

Elias literally did win it though. He was unironically robbed, Bumson somehow managed to do even less than Elias

Charisma goes a looooooong way

Elias would do great in Rizin or ONE, hopefully he goes to Rizin and not Bellator

The Showtime Stockton Slap missed by an hair, props to Brunson for the head movement.

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ONE has better fighters than ufc lol

I'm all for fibbing for a joke but this is just egregious

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this. As much as I hate Elias he won that "fight" no question

Imagine not dodging that

Hitler also paused during sentences and he was the biggest heel, like ever.
But he was pretty much loved when he was on top of the game.
I think there’s something to this pausing

I want to see Elias just get juiced to the gills and watch his meme attacks actually heem people. He would be perfect for Rizin

>OHHHHHHHHHHH HE HURT HIM BAD WITH THAT ONE
>BRUNSON SHAKES HE OFF BUT HE WOBBLED HIM WITH THAT ONE

That will never happen, but what you can watch is Michel Pereira, who is like an Elias Theodoro who actually fights

I cant believe i didnt watch this fight lmao

Agree. They give it to Brunson only because he scored takedowns but he didn't do anything with them. They were just lying on the floor. How the fuck it's more important than landed strikes.
He will get destroyed in ONE. I don't think they would even hire him tho. I bet the owner was very disappointed with Eddie

And they have over 4 billion viewers, how will Dana ever recover

if aliens ever came to earth they would then become potential ONE viewers as well, there's no limit to ONE's power

Fuck I want to see Elias in Rizin. They are the perfect fit for him and his style.

it was funny

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Beautiful switch stance mid combo

>check to see what Elias is doing now
>back to working invicta events
Still My Ring Boy

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Francisco Trinaldo VS Alexander Hernandez

UFC San Antonio July 20th

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he won and defended the LW belt

hardly an eternal contender

Drawing against Gray Maynard does not count

Hernandez is good, he fought Cerrone too early.

Yo Lil Fabricio.

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it boggles me how a guy with his athleticism moves so unfluently and sluggish

NGANNOU HEEMS JONES, DON'T @ ME.

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elias was throwing heat right from the bell

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>can't even heem Steepgay

I remember watching this intro and being excited by his pace but then realising that this was all he did for the entire fight

This is a 10-8 according to the new rules

Wait for the rematch, After magumbu heems jds, he's coming for the belt and to put stipe down.

>shadowbox for almost 30 seconds
>puss out and loose the first exchange
what did he mean by this

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>he thinks N'gubu will ever fight for the belt in his life even if he heems the entire division
>he thinks young daniel is ever going to show up to the rematch
>he thinks the heavyweight belt isn't on ice permanently until Bork or Jon fight for it
DC is going to suffer from an "acl injury" a week before Stipe comes to get revenge for eyepokegate

dc retires stipe

It does, and then he beat Gray and BJ in the rematch, then got robbed by Bendo twice

We'll see. Ngannou will be champion by next year.

stipe retires dc

he's done with LW tho

but his clan does

Daniel "Gerard Gordeau" Cormier

Are you doing the picks?

heem him and the slag... any other response is cuck teir

>Khabib
nate is literally the easiest ever possible matchup for khabib. He gets ragdolled and tossed around the cage like a fucking tennis ball
>Poorier
probably
>Holloway
holloway is basically nate with shit jiu jitsu so yeah sure
>tony
nate opens up so easily that tony gets a doctor stoppage 30 seconds into the fight
>goob
nate wins the threematch

he kinda looks like that porn actor with his pink ugly dick, mike adriano

Impossible. Stipe wins a split decision or gets heemed once again.

As I'm not a manlet, I'd be less concerned, but you'd still need to keep your chin covered and then stick a half brick on him.

Or hug him tenderly and get him on the deck in such a way that don't get mounted.

>Frog
>talking ugly dicks
never change /heem/

Stipe is hungry for victory and had a lot of time to master his game. DC was waiting for his Brock fight like a dog all this time and it's very draining. I honestly think Stipe is going to retire him.

Did UFC nerf wrestling already?
>Cejudo
>Khabib
>Usman
>Cormier
it's getting really tiresome

Ferguson gave Cerrone a 300 piece combo and a soda

>DC smugly waddles into the cage
>tonight will be easy work once again
>i'll call out brock again after this one. Maybe he'll bite this time
>Stipe jogs into the cage
>heh. look at the state of th-
>DC's smile falters as Bruce Buffer announces the beginning of the fight
>Stipe is wearing fireman's goggles
>WADDAGANNADOONOW DANNEHBOI HAH?????
>Oh fu-
>gets flatlined by Stipe

Hold on brother im ending the sambo meme

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lesner heems dillion danis

cejudo heems lesnar

Lmao i should get fat and become a heavyweight

Khabib, his father, and his teammates have all said he gets up to 195 range

>nerf

That girl who was sitting next to Frankie Edgar at the fights who was posted on here, turns out she's unironically an a level athlete and so is her brother. He just called Henry Cejudo a clown.

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atomweight champion with 6 months of training

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Holy fuck, was the entire fight this much of a meme??

snuck up on this dork with no shoes

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no chance in hell.

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Cejudo flushes him and Frankie

Yeah. It's one of the funniest fights I've seen. Right after the underwater dudes fight

Luke is an incel

True. She's unironically going to Stockton University (frankie and nate are friends).

Professors milkers?

>Whittaker
>Adesanya
>Yoel
>Costa
>Jacare
>Hermansson
>Gastelum
>Cannonier

Wake up

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Why don't more people do this lmao? Especially against high pressure guys like Fergusson. Based hockey check attack,

I'd heem her

>tfw childhood is over

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Gunner Nelson is a flow state fighter

if it wasn't for the fake 10/10 reviews schaub would have a lower imdb score than amy schumer

both heem'd senseless

Cringe

sorry kid my money's on the #1 wrestler in the united states unless you post your triceps

all me btw

here's your triceps bro
>puts on jurassic park dvd and fast forwards a half hour in

not my fault his dick ruins all his scenes although he always have the hottest new girls doing nasty spitty stuff

basically i'm uncut with a brownish dick and porn with dry (((cut penises))) are a huge turn off, it being super pink (almost fluo pink) makes it even worse

i really really like this post

OH LEON EDWARDS IS POURING ON THE PRESSURE

Damn he looks so broken, that hollow-eyed smile.
Retirement when?

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>even his cool spiky ivan drago hair wilted
feel bad for sage bros. He should have listened to dana sooner

>thanks, dad

Screw Brunson the bum who couldnt deliver a KO.
"Muh new more careful style"
BUM!

>getting Bisbonged so young
feels bad man

Do anyone remember that funny fight a black guy fought against a white guy (?). They said he was practicing kung fu and when he won he started to talk shit about grappling and how he deserve money than split decision and DC (?) said he needs to learn to how to grapple then. He was talking shit through all the fight and they attempted like 20 submissions one another. I remember it was a complete bum fest

Poirier vs Pettis?

>he's a Texan
It fucking hurts

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cowdad wins the rematch

>number one wrestler
>united states
kek dont make me spit out my shnitzel

based faggot poster

I was #cerronemissle but his utterly pathetic showing disgusted me and I hope he keeps his cracked skull out of the octagon permanently

why does rogan fap to legkicks so much?

he can't reach anyone's head

Rapist, you are rapist

which one of you?

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I found the fight. The fighter's name is Kevin Holland. The fight was part of the Gaethje x Barboza card

jajajaja based

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Towel, you are towel

how many Tills do you think The Platinum Princess takes a day? I'm guessing at least 3

Perry has the best nick name in the game but he is one of the stupidest people in ufc. I guess nothing is free, eh

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If Dustin beats Khabib he's the LW GOAT. Indisputable.

>Not VHS
You didn't enjoy the jurssic park experience to its fullest extent

lmao

>if Dustin beats a can he's the GOAT
I don't think so, a can crusher maybe.

Dana is unironically right. Sage is not meant to be an mma fighter.

>the showtime stockton slap

imagine being a leaf

He literally has a child and a wife.

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>mogs your path

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Boys, I have the perfect OP for when Tony wins the belt. Just letting you know.

GO HOOTERS!!!

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based leaf

You're About Two Years Too Late For That OP Pal

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What is the equivalent of a “Rat King” in mma. Intelligent responses only please.

Khabib

How can someone suffering from mental illness be allowed to receive strikes to his head? Tony shouldn't be allowed to fight

the design is so much better, I'm glad people are carrying theirs around

>Buffalo Wild Wings Waitress is waiting for your challenge

>c-c-cut him dana! Don't let tony fight!! H-h-he's mentally ill..... he can't be allowed to kill khab- i mean fight khabib..... its for his own health of course haha....
Duckbibittors shaking in their boots

It’s hilarious seeing all those dorks crying about mcgregor being done and here we are years later and he is bigger than ever.

been a tony fan since strikeforce boys

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imma steal this meme

reddit tier bait

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>Yoelito vs Chinchila for natty king title
das it mane

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luke heems shaub n rogan

>beat Kevin Pee
>become "champion"
this is truly the best division the PooFC has to offer?

>Rena not used to the American get in get out weighins and awkwardly making a quick bow

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unironically planning on having my first ammy fight at the end of the year/early next year. anyone who's actually trained/knows what they're talking about. give me advice.

Kevin Pee is a very powerful opponent for 1 and a half rounds. If he discovered jogging he would be unstoppable. I look forward to his late career One More Run At The Strap

eh at least kalvin ree was a top 10 fighter

I think you're talking about Kevin Holland vs Gerald Meerschart.

how tall are you? what're you training?

yeah I’m thinking I’m making the next thread

Luke is p4p the most boring mma analyst.
Just be better than your opponent. Simple as

Those weights on his ankles are kino

You are right

Best dressed fighter in the UFC.

5'9''; boxing, kickboxing, grappling, bjj.

The only reason they shouldnt let him fight is because it probably gives him an unfair mental edge

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All the best artists have some form of mental illness, that extends to martial artists. John Jones is a psychopath, for example.

send a hooker over to your opponents place the night before

What's your base?

>Jon Jones is a psychopath
>i can make this diagnosis because i read the wiki page and have the Hannibal boxset xD

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boxing
why?

You're right, he's actually a sociopath

when the guy walks into the cage just heem him
literally simple as

For how many years you've been boxing?

What about Schaub?

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5

Elephant Man-esque is schaub joe

PETTISED

weakens the legs

that is my precise fetish

More than enough for an amateur fight. Just find out what's your opponent specialization and train to counter. The biggest problem for boxers is checking low kicks, and leg strikes in general. Some people have problems with getting used to smaller gloves.

Get a manager. Don't let your fucking jiu-jitsu coach be the one that reviews your contracts

your gonna heem him then... focus on your wrassling. planning to fight at 145 or 155?

55, guy is slightly smaller than me with less experience

He's mexican, you ignorant fuck

you can literally jab his face off and then have your way... is it a smoker or on an event?

small event, like 10 people in attendance usually

>heemed by pettis
>starts doubting himself
>starts taking peds
I sorta feel bad for him

>Bellator is putting on the best card of the year so far tomorrow
how did this happen

are you trying to make a career of this?

Another one bites the dust

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Let’s not bring up Schaub once in the next thread, k guys?

why?

Has to be shopped

nah just for the experience

Let twitchy make the thread.

...

True, bee

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Better response than I expected.

shevchenko lowkey has a great ass, even though I get the sense it would pinch your dick off

I still wish Nate hadn't played with his food the second time around too, and had choked Canor out and had ended the stupid fucking meme

nice, well have fun its great having something to train for. im sure you know that already from boxing tho.

Drugs, booze and getting murdered by the muzzies

Nigganoo heems Jon Jones

Thought on luke chinhold at lhw? will he make top 10?

who the fuck is this?

he coudlnt even heem stipe whos a chinlet
no chance nigga

This

Its total bullshit and does nothing to even the playing field

But there you are, using a looney toon to detract and discredit the truth

Based and truthpilled.

Your conor noob card is showing

Because they want some dick

Just not your dick

Someone confirm what time the bellator main event is going to be UK time please. Google says 8am, doesn't make sense.

I shoot him

like a fucking fighting game

god i wish connor would just admit he was a hype job whose niche the sport evolved past and get out of the fucking way for tony, how rich do you have to become before you can be honest

why do all these faggots do is chase money fights when their already loaded, whats the fucking point

Strong Tekken 3 Lei vibes

my wife was the same weight as pre-pregnancy within a week after birth, fucking impulselet copes I swear

>why did the man who was dominating the fight intentionally do a nonsensical transition and get heemed?
he got paid to lose retard

Lmao look at Dana. He was not happy with this result.

Nothing can change that busted ass face though.