/bundes/

>Alba signs Nnoko

I've been a Liverpool lifelonf for 3 years now. Glad it finally paid off

>Ich bin ja kein Junior mehr
What else is he if not a 25 year old youth prospect

THE NUMBER 4 OF THE WORLD RANKING TABLE

based Nerman the terror of thots

Ugh

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all liverpool yesterday did was loop the ball high up the field and hoped that some fast nigga would get it. horrible football but tottenham was just even worse with ali playing on the 10 even worse than müller. literally wanted to kill myself watching that game.

Sup /bundes/
Amerifat here who just moved to Germany. I dont know much about Bundesliga or Soccer in general aside from the names of a few famous teams (Dortmund. Schalke, Bayern Munchen etc. Which team should I follow?

>amerifat here
prove it. post witthoeft

I had to google that to know wtf you were talking about. Why would posting a german Tennis player prove I'm American? I dont get it

Guys I'm also an American who just moved to Germany (and a girl btw) where can I meet cute German boys?

kek ikr. luckily i was drunk during the entire thing.

support the team in which you live or you are a plastic

You would know if you were a bundes regular burger instead of a larping casual.

I know I'm not a regular, you dipshit, that's why I'm asking about teams.

Follow buyern, you get to win at least one title a year and have one dissapointment in the CL. Its the most consistent "emotional rollercoaster" and the football is good. Might get boring after a while but for the time being its good. Which part of Germany are you staying in and for how long?

paderbundes is the only logical choice here

What it means to be a depp?

I live in Oldenburg. I'll be here for two years

Yea Forums is full of normies, nowhere else sneedposting could have taken off

Are you a postdocslave or how did you end up in that shithole.

Fuck Niedersachsen uezs.

Fuck off, we don't need any fatmericans here. You will never be respected or liked here no matter how friendly people pretend to be towards you

Cringe
Doing """consulate work""""?

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>What it means to be a depp?
t. Depp

Yes yes then follow Bayern or Raseballsport Leipzig. Id even say Leipzig is the better option for you.

Just telling the truth fatty

I'm doing work with the Deutsche Marine based out of Wilhelmshaven

come to Groningen brother

Theres plenty of fat people in Deutschland. The Krauts have zero room to talk about fat Americans

Based glorified welfare leech

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Will you teach them how to build maintainable ships?

post witthoeft

Idk how much influence I have, but I hope so. The base in Wilhelmshaven is pretty shoddy

Hope the Greens will dissolve our military

Please do so, the Marine is a fucking joke, even compared to the rest of the Bundeswehr.
>0 working helicopters

well you must think of our army as something like a state sponsored militia.

support Werder Bremen

I've heard all the U Boats are fucked too and same with most of the tankers. Yikes. From what I've heard the standards of work in the Marine is all weird too. They barely stand duty, get wasted on the ship and everyone is having sex with eachother. Crazy shit that would never fly in the states, but hey man I'm just some foreigner here along for the ride.

No, the /bundes/ support of bremen was last season. This season we are /union/

Everything is fucked, they can barely scrap enough material, people and brain to have 2 ships running for international missions.

More details on the crazy sex though.

Well, I'll be on one of those two ships.

Sex ist streng verboten auf amerikanischen Schiffen. Apparently not the case with the Germans. Theres junior sailors who share rooms with senior sailors. Blows my mind bro

Hello!

Thank you for your kind suggestion. We are working on improving the quality of our thread and will look into this possibility.

- /bundes/ council support

Like your presence here underlines and probably just like in the US, only the dumbest people join the military

Glad to hear it

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I wouldn't say that. In the US theres a lot of smart people in the military... theres a lot of dumbasses too, but theres some sharp tools in the shed as well.

No idea about Germany. Seems like the military in general is just not really well respected

US military and their alphabet agencies have much higher standards than we do, tho. stuff like having a 4 years degree as a bare minimum to join FBI speaks for itself i think.

>Crazy shit that would never fly in the states
Literally every branch of the military is full of alcoholixs and retards

>american degrees

Just look at the state of their police force. You can literally become an officer after attending some courses at evening school

>Youssoufa Moukoko (14) hat den früheren Schalke-Nachwuchsspieler Donis Avdijaj in Sachen Tore pro Saison in der B-Junioren Bundesliga West überholt. Das Sturm-Talent von Borussia Dortmund, das 2016 vom FC St. Pauli in die BVB-Jugend gewechselt war, erzielte am 26. Spieltag seine Tore 44 bis 46 per lupenreinem Hattrick (Endstand: 6:0 beim MSV Duisburg).
25 games, 46 goals, 8 assists

>stuff like having a 4 years degree as a bare minimum to join FBI
Not in all cases, also you underestimate how fucking easy most Unis in the us are

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Bro, Yea Forums is probably the most normie board on this site. Incels, weeaboos, neckbeards etc generally hate sports

Dood? Wat nou?

buttgart - bvb u19

tv.sport1.de/sport1/
tv.sport1.de/sport1/
tv.sport1.de/sport1/

Jogi must nominate him now!

could be true, maybe. but at any rate having a degree as a requirement, no matter how easy it is, is still better than hiring fresh 18 year old high school grads lmao

Maybe not CIA or FBI and stuff, but you only need a degree to become an Officer. The majority enlist fresh out of high school

jz 1 kaffee

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Yea Forums might be full of normies, but our /bundes/ subreddit certainly isn't!

They'll have a return leg, right?

>buttfart

bin dab0 kollege

Wanna know why Germany doesn't actively participate in any missions? It's unironically because the military of the biggest economy in Europe isn't able to. The German military doesn't really exist anymore at this point, it's just a shitshow of broken vehicles and some Assis pretending to be soldiers so they don't have to live on Hartz IV.

The Bundeswehr is well respected for being an employer that pays well and doesn't expect you to do anything.

this is the finale

Wish I was German

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>dfw if Poland would decide to invade tomorrow the would probably succeed

If it weren't for the Amerifat bases they probably would

What we do untill /bundes/ begin again?

5 weeks and based Eintracht starts EL quali

>Frankfurt
>based

>It's unironically because the military of the biggest economy in Europe isn't able to
no. it's primarly because the german military does not serve german interests.

>The Bundeswehr is well respected for being an employer that pays well and doesn't expect you to do anything.
You clearly don't know what you're saying. The Bundeswehr struggles with finding IT experts because the highly skilled ones earn 3 to 4 time as much.

Die Mannschaft nu squad numbers for Euro 2020

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shitposting breh. you're no fully integrated /bundes/bürger until you shitpost tßh f4m

Obviously you can earn more money with an employer that requires you to do work.

And the Bundeswehr serves the German interests perfectly by being weak and not triggering our French friends while allowing the US to sell us shit.

HEJA BVB

>Kehrer
>Ulreich
>Draxler
>Hector
>Trapp

hahahahhaahhahahahah

>buttfart

OH NO NO NO NO

>Not listing strikers separately because you have none

>IT experts

youtube.com/watch?v=T4v3zQj8ZkI

schabe user btfo yet again

>IT experts
>muh AI
>muh industrie 4.0
kek and thus the bundeswehr gets wrecked by yet another meme

Hector is the worst, not only is he a 2. Bundesliga shitter who conceded 47 (!) goals, no there are also 2 better LB in the squad
What the fuck are these people at the DfB doing, its ridiculous

The fact he has >40 caps means there is hope for us all.

>Jogi still nominates Hector instead of Max

cant make this shit up

in case you forgot, deciding game in the Europa League playoff today

17:00 Sturm Graz - Rapid Wien

in case you forgot, Sturm won the first game 2:1 in Vienna

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>3-1 lead at HT
>lose 3-5

just buttgart things

For me, it's the city with a big ass Hill in the middul of it

Also I did good by being a lask lifelong

rapefugee BVLLs would stop them

>rapefugee
Umm sweety this language is very problematic. They're called Merkelmen

Based Dortmund... who can stop them?

Ah, shit. I missed the game.

How are the young ones looking? Pherai is supposed to be a pretty good. Has the cancer that is Raiola as agent and all.

fuggin nadsi

based, Schlossberg is best Berg
worried about LASK though, coach and best player already left, next season might be tough for them

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>U19
I only care about Moukoko

Moukoko will unironically cause the next 7-1

when will this 12 year old fella peak?

WC 2022 and 2026

based bernd

Bruv you guys haven't had a proper striker in half a decade now.
Everyone just wants to pretty pass always, nobody has that killer finish anymore.

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>who is Schurrle

man, I remember being on KC in 2015, when Flüchtlig was wordfiltered to Tütenwein

How old are his kids anyway? If they are playing and have even a fraction of their father's talent they could be good.

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well i dunno, i always meided kc wie die pest but now since it died and was reborn as kohlchan i am an /int/ legend

>klose
>talent
lel, customers

yes I am here
are ABLs still seething?

The ylilauta-kc fighting was ebun x-------DDDD
Do you remember the American lawyer that married Ukrainian grill?
>/int/ legend
Kys

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SPD back then
>Wer nicht arbeitet, sollte auch nicht essen können
>Weitere Zuwanderung unterbinden
SPD now
>

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Ded since 2014

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Reminder to that we are watching wundes world cup next week.

nö, fuck off

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The only woman's sport I'll watch is tennis

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>he was ever alive and not just a meme

based danamutt

>tom
>pajeetom
ugh

she looks like Annette Schwarz

of course we will

who dat?

Katarina Mommyley will save them

see

not really apart from being drecksblond and having Glubschaugen

go to bed Martin, you're still drunk

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also giant fourhead and knubbel nase

The YT girl someone spammed here?

naja der donis hat zwar nix im kopf aber ist wenigstens kein betrüger

Don't you dare to slander /our guy/

kek the state of Maddin

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And it fucking sucks, Löw should fucking stop playing 4-6-0 that cocksucker. I'm still mad that we never saw peak Alex Meier at the EC 2016

I guess so

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#weggeschulzt

/bundes/

werd ich auch noch wegschulzen

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yeah yeah "alex meier"... t. Sandro W. aus G. (C.)

I'm asking because they don't look alike

cute

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and I am replying although I have a sever case of prosopagnosia

halt die Fresse, tom

danamutt >>> d*nmark

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What kind of German name is that?

bavarian

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Sara is a perfectly German name.
I don't know about the family name, but my dick gives her the benefit of doubt.

Knew a guy in the Marine that didn't set a single foot on a ship in 8 years but became fatter and fatter every year from all the drinking.

wew danmutt looks like *THAT*?!

OK danke

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>31°C
>its only the second of June
im already fed up with this summer

Enough, finally gonna get that fucking Klimaanlage

Time to show off your gainz. You made gainz during winter and started to cut in time, didn't you user?

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probably the best thing to do, yes

of course not

Oh shut up you crybaby. It's 34°c here and it's 8fuckinpm in the night.

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Why are you drinking a potato

Literally dying rn since my bastard of a roommate broke our cooler and fucked off home
It's a coconut

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barrage-hinspiel: xamax- aarau 0:4
barrage-rückspiel after 45 minutes: aarau - xamax 0:3
tune in, boys

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I got used to the heat quite quickly last year.
Today has been the first properly hot day here and I’m a bit miserable, but I enjoy good weather generally, so I’m looking forward to the summer.

sorry, we are all watching Sturm - Rapid, starting in 4 minutes

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It's called Wechseljahre.

just said the same to myself. its almost 30 degrees here but i dont really feel it. one advantage of going through desert tier summers i guess.

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where can i watch?

Im watching here in bad quality

cdn.livetvcdn.net/webplayer.php?t=ifr&c=1187192&lang=de&eid=809868&lid=1187192&ci=116&si=1

thanks :3

ugh, i think i need to find some kind of hobby.

>Let's talk about six
Kringe ultimo.

Anyone watching U20 world cup? Knockout rounds start tonight.

sturm look so bad. every time they attack they invite rapid to score and create nothing themself doing so.

>Loris Karius zu Werder
what the hell?

cam ahn Italy score sam facking gols

>you now remember Tim Wiese

>4-0, 0-4
>not rigged I swear

Are you assuming I ever forgot about Tim Wiese? He's still in the news every few weeks.

>Robert Enke

>FC Bayern, Real Madrid, Inter Milan, Lille or FC Bayern, Real Madrid, Lyon, Atalanta is a possible cl group

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Jesus what for? Wrasslin?

Tim is an absolute giga chad. Nothing can stop him. No 90 year old Opis, no nu-male cars. Nothing.

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Hope Greens will tax the shit out of ACs

Yeah, and for generally talking about football stuff. Some Bremen news site I frequent posts an interview with him every now and again.

He seems a pretty chill dude, I just remember him for throwing in a goal at Ibrox in 2008 UEFA Cup.

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Yeah, he's a fun guy. Not the greatest keeper ever, but he had his moments despite the occasional blunder. His performance in the "Derby Weeks" of 2009 where Bremen played against Hamburg 4 times across three different competitions was great. Especially when he jumped a Hamburger in the face, foot first, lel, but he also saved us in penulties.

>In der neuesten Ausgabe von „Spielerfrauen on Air“ planen die Ehepartner von Dennis Aogo und Steven Zuber, ihre Höschen zu verkaufen! Für einen guten Zweck… Mira: „Kennst du den Tanga-Sammler? Den gibt es wirklich. Der hat einen eigenen Account auf Instagram. Der schreibt mir und fragt nach Tangas. Überleg mal, es gibt Leute, die wollen meine Tangas kaufen. Aber ich würde die nur für einen guten Zweck verkaufen.“ Ina: „Das ist eine gute Idee. Schreibt uns mal, wohin wir das Geld spenden sollen. Wir brauchen keinen Spielerfrauen-Flohmarkt so wie die anderen. Wir können Tangas verschenken.“ Mira: „Nein, nicht verschenken. Verkaufen! Für einen guten Zweck. Schreibt uns bitte, wo das Geld am besten hin soll.“ Ina: „Das find ich richtig gut. Wieviel nehmen wir für einen Tanga? Wir sind ja bekannte Personen, da können wir noch mehr verlangen. Oder nimmt der nur getragene? Das fänd ich eklig. Socken und Füße ist ja schon krank. Aber Tangas?“ Mira: „Oh mann ist das eklig, die waren ja in der Arschritze drin.“ Ina: „Aber ich finde, das ist eine gute Idee. Dann haben wir auch mal was Gutes getan mit unserem Gequatsche hier.“

>a piece of clothing that has been in the ass crack is disgusting
>being fingered, fucked and licked there isnt though

now finally the time for my sneakersocken has come

>being fingered, fucked and licked there isnt though
Does sex with a 0815 girl involve these practices? My virgin friend wants to know.

zum beispiel

Man City
Real
Inter
Leipzig
patrician's group

no, but if you wife a girl or have a gf for some time and dont try some things out then get ready for a boring ride.

Why do you think you're one of the big guys after that pathetic EL performance? Get in line at the back of the queue.

is "muh politiker" the most brainlet argument ever?

>aarau
lmao

How do you even fuck up that badly? All they had to do was not fuck up a 4-0 lead

kek

i literally dont know. i think the first result got to their head a bit much. sandro bürki got offered sports director at gc and basel was suddenly interested in patrick rahmen. i guess they überschätzten sich

Yeah, in the same way the Henchoz to Sion announcement rattled Xamax before the first leg, it seemed their guys getting linked everywhere had the same effect.

Xamax are still pretty fucked though, they need a sports director of their own, but it's probably too late for that since 20 of their contracts are running out

>people who failed first year calculus lecture about love and relationship as if this was science

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Brah Germany while environmentally sound and economically stabile have yet to shake off hitler, you let that crazy fuck run around your office it’s almost as bad as when trump...

>Herzlichen Glückwunsch Kloppo, DU hast es verdient...

>Jürgen Klopp..., DU hast diesen Titel absolut verdient und ich habe gestern Abend in keinster Weise daran gezweifelt !!!
>Du bist der Weiterentwickler und Performer von sehr guten Fußballern die das Beste erreichen wollen. DU bist ein Menschenkenner und absoluter Empathieträger !
>Tolle Arbeit, Respekt... ???
Why are germans so cringe?

Put that German tongue on my American knot sack

kindly fuck off denbark

funny how i always read about hitler from americans
but its better you don't voice your opinions about actual german issues i guess

those slags are disgusting. no sane man cares about this

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d*nmark ins gas

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very generic face (and pointy elbows)

what a bully >:(

Yes

Löw is a complete fraud. Every national coach is but he pretends to have actual influence.

Who should replace him?

...

me

KLOPPO

just let the Bayern coach also coach the NT, it's the same team anyways

I think he will one day but not for a while. Low has been there forever, you would have thought that the Germany job would be highly sought after and a top coach would have got it by now.

He was amazing at based Bremen

You really want the NT coached by Kovac?

can't be worse than Löw

Don't die /bundes/

zzzzzzzzZZZZz

we're on le autosage

Da kann man schon mal Neger sagen

DER HAT NEGER GESAGT

why are m*ts so bum blasted?

got friendzoned by denmark