/bundes/

this is goodmark

Yes but they'll finish below Pauli

is he ok? :(

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>Ein Vorfall bei der Schalker Champions-League-Pleite gegen Manchester City im Februar (2:3) landet vor Gericht!

>Die Staatsanwaltschaft Essen hat gegen drei Schalker „Fans“ (27, 30, 45) Anklage erhoben. Gegen den Hauptangeklagten sogar wegen versuchten Mordes. Das bestätigt Britta Lampen (35), Sprecherin des Essener Landgerichts: „In einem Fall lautet die Anklage auf versuchten Mord.“ Die Schwurgerichtskammer prüft, ob die Anklage zugelassen wird.

>Wie BILD erfuhr, sollen die Ermittler davon ausgehen, dass der Hauptangeklagte (30) sein Opfer gezielt töten wollte. Laut „Spiegel“ soll der Schläger MMA-Kämpfer sein. Opfer Paul W. (32) war offenbar erheblich betrunken, soll die Schalker provoziert haben.

Is it on ARD or ZDF tonight?

no doggo don't do it ;__;

welt.de/sport/article194532029/Ausgemusterter-Bayern-Star-Jetzt-spielt-Boateng-sogar-bei-Men-In-Black-mit.html

>Schalker „Fans
kek, did an user write this?

hyggelig

>tfw no CL final on free TV
t-thank you, gabidalizm!

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sry ZDF needs the money for indoctrination lessons

now THIS is something i can relate to!

We couldn't be confirming worse news. Beloved Sevilla star José Antonio Reyes has died in a traffic collision. Rest in peace.

Nice of them to take pity on him

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Halt doch einfach deine scheiss fresse

>be big man
>try to kill some guy who called Schalke gay
>get dabbed on by a Bild journalist

GRANATREICH

kollege bleib mal auf dem teppich hier ok. geh nach hause und nüchter dich erstmal aus aber zackig.

>Neuer
>Trapp
>Ulreich
what happened to our once great goalkeeper nation?

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oh no no no

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ORAAAAAAANGSCH TRÄGT NUR DIE MÜLLABFUHR

What about ter Stegen tho

All of our good goalkeepers were testosterone driven maniacs... a dying breed in our effeminate society

Neuer is slowly getting back to shape so it shouldn't be that big a problem. Not against the likes of Estonia or Bulgaria anyway.

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Who wants to be a goalkeeper or a referee anyway? Can't understand those people

reminder that we all are going to watch the women's world championship next week

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Is tabea playing?

>be a Lauch
>absolutely don't be athletic
congrats, you may be 1 goalkeeper

>be a Fettsack
congrats, you may be 1 goalkeeper for your Dorfverein

>be shit at footie
>have 0 frens
congrats, ur a ref

i always liked to play as goalie

I regret not becoming a GK... I mean how hard can it be? Getting into professional football on easy mode.

Me, I even was captain of the team.

Thats what Löw said before the Mexico and South Korea matches

>t. Felix Zwayer

Yes yes

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Is everyone ready to laugh at Bayern when they fuck up Sane transfer like they did with CHO?

>This English
Kek

no

Dänemark ist eine ____. Und ich würde sie mal gern ______.

Bitte mal ausfüllen.

>Paul W.
Paul Walker?

Dame, ausführen

Fotze, nageln

nette, treffen

gilf, fisten

Nation, annektieren

Ungläubige, konvertieren

dralle Mutti, schnaxeln

soziale Konstruktion, sozial dekonstruieren

Just get a longer line

this but unironically

schöne Gegend, besetzen

basado

what a grade A qt :3
>shes actually 69

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wow really, looks like 75!

she could be 120 for all i care. definately would.

botoxfresse bah

Hammes to Neapel

still wood

ugh

This is so fucking comfy. I wouldn't trade Northern/Central Europe for all the white sand beaches and palm trees in the world.

cute

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Gib back Pommern and Preußen

Hehe yes

yeah right. some days i think that our landscape looks like shit but some days i think like you. i guess it has a certain unique charme.

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Ostsee >>>> garbage > having aids > "Nordsee"

but we all knew that already

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Tbh not watching the cl final in years cause of the kanisterkopffinal

Yes the picture shows Isefjorden

i wont watch it either. i only worry about how late night /bundes/posting will be possible when gorillion threads will flood the board.

sylt ballert brudi

Do you swallow?

eure erbärmliche fixierung ist typisch fettkindliche jungfraumännlein, glückwunsch

Ostsee is a sissy sea, Nordsee is for real men.

Do you swallow?

you obviously never visited Dangast and tried the absolutely delicious Rhabarberkuchen in the Kurhaus

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Why Germans love thiccc bread so much?

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a fucking benis

anyone watching Toulon Tournament too?

eggsplain this
youtube.com/watch?v=IdDfF4hXfj4

obinna playing for japan in goal

bruder was das

to be honest i dont raelly now either. just a bunch of national youth teams playing. right now england u20 vs japan u22 i think

Will probably try to finish the remaining episodes

Doggie say "bundes ist sheise"

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Germany's squad for France 2019

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enough is enough, hund. no more children for you.

Dogs are inferior. The smartest Pet one can have is the Pig.

>no tabea

Is tom gonna kys himself??

I meant of this.

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little quacker say "Halt die Fresse, Tom!"

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ew, the only U games i touch are U21 euros which are also this year.

yes yes

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Austria has a weird way of spelling “U21”

kek

Wrong

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>Der ehemalige HSV-Direktor Bernhard Peters (Foto) betracht den Run auf Fußball-Trainer aus Österreich spöttisch. „Ich muss jungen Trainern empfehlen: Beginnt bei Ried oder Altach. Dann kommt Ihr irgendwann zu Salzburg. Und dann wird gedacht: Oh, der hat aber viel gewonnen“, sagte Peters beim „taktikr-Fußballkongress“ in Köln: „Manche machen sich heute zu wenig Mühe, die Trainingskompetenz zu hinterfragen statt nur rein auf die Tabelle zu schauen.“
based hamburger warning germany of the ösi menace

Super-Talent Youssoufa Moukoko von Borussia Dortmund hat die alte Bestmarke von Donis Avdijaj vom FC Schalke 04 übertroffen und einen neuen Tor-Rekord in der B-Junioren-Bundesliga aufgestellt.

Moukoko erzielte beim Auswärtsspiel der BVB-U17 gegen den MSV Duisburg (6:0) bereits vor der Pause seinen Saisontreffer 44 und 45 im 25. Einsatz. Nach dem Seitenwechsel legte der 11-Jährige sogar noch sein 46. Tor nach. Avdijaj hatte in der Saison 2012/2013 44 Mal für Schalke getroffen.

Auch dank der Torgefahr Moukokos darf sich der BVB Hoffnungen auf den zweiten Meistertitel der B-Junioren in Folge machen.

Im Vorjahr hatte sich Dortmund im Finale gegen den Nachwuchs des FC Bayern München durchgesetzt, schon damals traf Moukoko zum Sieg. Die Endrunde mit den Halbfinals und dem Finale wird im Juni ausgetragen.

/our guy/ is unstoppable

would be funnier if he got younger every sentence

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drunk Taktik-Tobi sperging out on twitter

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ERA OF THE BULL

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based

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Where is the sperging?

simmering

just watched some highlights of dortmund and buyern 2013. man what a time.

eating this rn

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looks like we will have another milf president in /best bundes/ next season, this time an actual bombshell. Swarovski heir running WSG Wattens

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certainly an upgrade

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borderline sticc but she passes
never had the courage to try this. redpill me on this pizza.

7-1

I like the taste.

>sticc
as always: congrats on having been memed to adopt the beauty standards of a nigger

>tabea
>tfw all those sojajungen post about some tabea and ur ex is called tabea
:'(

based
very based
sigh...

sorry

where ist that?

Is the other betting user here? If you place a 20€ bet on the CL final BWIN will give you a free 10€ live bet and another 10€ freebet for the copa

this, it's grinding my gears too.

we had worse (to look at)

I will unlauch myself. Will start to work out with long and short bars starting today. Let's see how much progress I can make in the next weeks.

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anons fantasy world: bernd gets brainwashed with propaganda and is a whigger
reality: bernd just looks at sticc and says 'meh'

how ya doin bundes

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Ähm your Mülleimer is on fire

did you cry ;_; ?

nice, but why are your glasses wet?

What the fuck is the caterpillar on the left?

Rodríguez is actually going to Napoli?

my mom owns the same Eimer. also there's a Bauschaumwurst on your table.

new fan here, who do I root for?

>expensive hipster Störtebecker piss bier

DISGUSTING!

Leverkusen of course
>fun matches
>Era of the Pill
>Company club
>big prospects
>BOSZ /elite/ tatics

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he's a neverkusen fan

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I wet myself
(it's very refreshing)

just some Dichtungsmasse-like stuff

it's great though

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>I'm not brainwashed, I would have noticed!

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prove that you're not the brainwashed one

Based fellow hue

I don't consume any media at all apart from textbooks and bundes and I don't take the latter seriously.

>I-I wasnt memed at all, I have always been into fat girls with fat asses, they are just the hottest thing ever and this is my own rational decision

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Very based

Thank G*d I'm not brainwashed. For me it's skinny and flat-chested, bonus points if she has a feminine penis.

ah okay now i get it. so because of the word "thicc" i got completely brainwashed and changed my entire life afterwards. oh man i didnt even notice haha well this happens faster than you think right!!

I don't consume any media at all apart from textbooks and bundes and I don't take the former seriously.

top tier woman are around 1,70m and 1,75m, having balanced tits and butt

thats another good example though, traps used to be considered disgusting and well... traps, then it got spammed over and over again and now you have masses of little faggots actually jerking off to that

triggered the pornaddict so hard kek

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>Verkauft Barcelona den 22-jährigen Franzosen im kommenden Transferfenster – zuletzt machten erneut Spekulationen über einen vorzeitigen Abgang Dembélés die Runde – kassiert der BVB laut der „Bild“ umgehend 17 Mio. Euro zusätzlich. Bedeutet: Trifft jener Fall ein, kassieren die Schwarz-Gelben insgesamt 142 Mio. Euro Ablöse.

by your logic i am a pedo because back then cp was spammed like pepe images these days.

would suck his dick

>based bulge, amirite?
>ugh it's just a girl
strange people

nice lie, t. actual oldfag

I'm doing +100 push ups and crunchs per day lads

i must be imagining the shitfest of Yea Forums Yea Forums, 7chan, anontalk, 12chan and later wwp then lol

cockmongler meme was based yes yes

there were single cheese pizza threads which got heavily moderated almost instantly, think like posting the Hope Solo pic on here nowadays. It happens in various threads but usually gets deleted right away

Yea Forums did delete cp when possible yes, but that doesnt mean that you didnt see it like every day. and on the other mentioned sites this stuff remained much longer. my question stands: if this brainwashing is so easy and happens by merely looking at things, then i wonder why i am no pedo now? hmm its almost as if reality works differenty lol

thicc kkkkkkkkk pqp rsrsrsrsrsrsrsrsrsrs

>its almost as if
Plebbit please leave

youtube.com/watch?v=6LHGY33cFiE

jz 1 neisaufen

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schabe user btfo once again

ZUNULLREICH

Prost

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ha ha time for Räucherfisch

Good luck Bruder. Hope you make it.
Here's something for inspiration
youtube.com/watch?v=yjiJAeBKVVY

>buyern bencher nominated over any of the 54 starters in bundes
>coach doesn't even have to show up for his paycheck
>someone is going to mention Özil

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/tipp/in on a 0-5 2nite

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Neger he injured or something.
bbc.com/sport/football/48471313

>Löw had dropped a dumbbell on his chest
How

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coaches have been sacked for sillier reasons

Probably just slipped I think.
He's no spring chicken anymore.

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Watching BT. I bet Campinio is on Sky. Cringe.

Anyone here wants an invite to passthepopcorn.me ?

maybe later
i'm out now

r8 my flag collection

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yes yes

kc tier

BT are showing it on Youtube. Not sure if it will work for our Euro friends though.

I thought the game would start at 8 and my pizza was ready at 8:10 ... now I dont have anything to snack for the game - FML!

get a second pidser

eat schogo

>no dk

what sender is showing the final??

ard/zdf??

anal sex mit jessy!

Wellmer? Na klar!

It's a special slang, reserved only for bundes posting.

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If Julia and carina are bundesfrau, is ana then bundes mommy?

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I will go the tankstelle and buy another pizza. I am already fat, so it doesnt really matter.

that's the attitude

yes why not

jz 1 dusche

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gleich fuppes alder

junge es ist so widerlich. von 0 auf 100 wieder direkt 5000 grad, 4 monate wieder nur am abschwitzen.

heul nich du memme

so ungenuss brudi, wieder nur am ölen hier. gestern noch miesester winter dies das und heute saharah was los ey

my work gives out Tencel shirts and they are super comfy in the heat

Been thinking of buying something made from that.

more like the /bundes/ matratze

Jesus Christ, how can i not watch this final on free tv?
Is Dazn trying to get boycotted or smn?

>Frogposter
You won't do anything which also unfortunately means you won't kys yourselves

>marcel reif is commenting the final on swiss tv

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What channel?

>all this blatant faggotry called opening show

heul nich du meme

these women were absolute 10/10's tho

The ones playing violin?? I agree

yeah, i gasped like a kid

BENULDY :DDDDDDDDDD

leloalma

topkek. affenzirkus

I thought Spurs was (((their))) team

aloa

Hat er mit Absicht auf den Arm geballert? :P

yeeeeeeeeessssssss

Kloppo is going to bottle it anyway.
This old whit*oid is cursed. CURSED I TELL (YOU)!!

I would

What a clever nigga, who knew?!?

All pundits warned us that this would happen eventually

lol

Football is getting more exclusive with every passing day.

Teleclub zoom

cheers bundes

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so much wasted potential

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Prost, mein Kamerad!

imagine the smell

hmmmmmmffffffnn......ahhh...yessssssss

Actually it smells like like weekend midnight trams x 1000.
Would not recommend.

...

Is he also watching the game right now?

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nice dribs

me on the left

LEWD

Is that a Gothic font t-shirt?

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>all my streams are shit
>have to get up early tomorrow becuase >wörk
I'm out

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kys

soccerstreamsdotnet

>working on a Sunday
I hope you are one of these Alten-, Krankenpfleger Versager

quock :(

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or male protistute

I'm a chef

Reif is fucking worse than he is fifa
How did he even become a commentator with like that?

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I'm sorry. enjoy your drugs though.

Good question. I hate him too.

>Versager
more important than some uni graduates tbf

i was so happy when he retiered at sky and i thought i would never have to listen to this retard ever again and then i had to listen to him commentating the dfb pokal final. wanted to kill myself

is klar chef

Anyone watching the ucl final lads? Don't really care about the limey bastards but want to see jurgen make it desu.

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yawn-o-rama

It's still shit work and all your colleges are Ausländer.

Remember, if you drink "craft" beer that costs more than 1€, you are either a Sojajunge or a Saupreis.

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he died after he shoved that Grimme Preis he got for that game in Madrid up hiss ass. He was replaced by a bad double

me
yes yes

until we legalize euthanasia

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Can't find a good stream.

Thank god Kane is playing
t. Liverpool

Thank god Ali is playing
t. Liverpool

>inb4 the match ends 0-1

literally arbeitsverweigerung: the game

I am watching the game in polish.
Slavish languages are fucking weird.

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I will

Kek.. I think zoomer me actually sent a similarly worded email to Premiere

Quite a few of them are poles and syrians. But pretty much all of them are based desu.

*quite a few
alcohol is one hellavu drug

>On nie mówi po polsku
LAMO

>not warching the game on dazn
absolutely pathetic

>9,99€

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>paying for that absolute cancer service

>this is a CHAMPIONS LEAGUE final

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>EPL
What did you expect?

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>I suffer on Germany

>This has been the worst cl finale ever

Change. My. Mind.

Thanks god this is an odd year and people soon forget about odd numbered years.

there is something odd in my pants ;)

yes yes yes

Halftime 2 started and reif hasn't stopped since then talking stories instead of commenting
SHUT UP YOU FUCKING MORON

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hodd

armschwuchteln bitte. dazn ist die beste sportplattform

Remember when bundesbrainlets claimed that Klopp couldn't defend?

>some guys asked me out to watch the game with them at a bar
Quite glad i didn't tbqh

dazn
a
z
n

he isn't even on the pitch. checkmate

BORING

wouldnt be even that bad if liverpool wouldnt win 1:0 by a very strange(stupid) handball

>0 shots on goal by Rottenspam
>0

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>wouldnt be even that bad if liverpool wouldnt win 1:0 by a very strange(stupid) handball

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This final is like a call from your mother right before the fapping climax.

Close

>ja natürlich zahle ich extra um meine spiele mit zeitverzögerung und schlechter qualität

mainzZzzztastisch mätch

ugh this final ruined the CL season

*zu sehen

I don’t remember it anyway

so this is what happens when an EPL team can't hoof it out against a possession team in a CL final. nothing.

Not canceling after 1 Month

based Drunkmark

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>senilemark

87 years combined without a domestic championship. This is barely a UEFA Cup final.

shitty vs spörsch was very entertaining though

...

desu first time i watched teleclub zoom and i like the kommentator. much better than the srf mongs

jz 1 Hand of Pumpkincores

you know something's das when New Caledonia calls it shit ass

snacking on some tasty sunflower ones atm

imagine paying a shitton of moneyz for this cl """"final""""

>Dele Alli is worth 100me on tm

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mainz-hannover tier game

how did nobody mentioned the thot fliterzin showing her pussylips?

they will throw everything at Liverpool now and they'll score an easy peasy 2-0
now that we've got that settled, time to discuss the schland again

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>klopp getting his first relevant trophy from THIS

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that's haram

based Allison im Wunderland

>son
lamo

if they win, Liverpool will have broken the curse and we're literally entering their era of domination.

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she did it for advertisement. That behaviour is against the Flitzerkodex and therefore she was ignored.

YESRIGI

based golfsburg reject

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>game decided
>bundes: tut

WAS EN BRETT

Is Tottenham the biggest joke of football ever?

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oh wow what an exciting goal

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why?

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Fucking wot???
Reif is even worse than all of them
Anyway liverpool wins a shit game that nobody needed

>Schalke

so this is the power of eplel

Tottenham should honestly just Verein auflösen. What a shitshow.

man mountain matip

SIX TIMES LA

bad guys won
oh well

she cute

They will be embarrassed by this performance. I guess they were planning on keeping it a tight game and the early goal threw them but they should have changed plan.

Congratulations jurgen

On a more important note, Dominic Thiem had to leave his press conference room because Serena Williams didnt want to wait for him to finish

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KLOPPO KLOPPO KLOPPO KLOPPO KLOPPO KLOPPO KLOPPO KLOPPO KLOPPO KLOPPO KLOPPO KLOPPO

*she obese

imagine celebrating this absolute shitshow of a cl win

>needing a bunch of bundes rejects to win the CL
pathetic

The last thing you do with a meal is shit it out. Doesn't mean the meal was bad or you shouldn't eat.

yeah i would be ashamed really

shaqiris second cl title

Well, I guess it's time to leave for a month or two as long as scousers make this place unbearable

jz 10 halbe on kloppos neck

You know remember the snooze-fest of a Champions League final in 2019

bundes BTFO

At least he'll be happy.
>

BORING

nö

omg kloppo finally did it

reddit_söy_wojak.jpg

I NEED THAT WEBM

seethe elsewhere, smelly ABL scum.

fat&cute

what a fat cunt

frick off, perv

K L O P P O

man i will file a lawsuit against UEFA. this game was psychological torture.

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needing that trollface klopp image please

ok enough of this shit goodnight frens :***

klopp lel?
nachti

i really need that flitzerin webm uezs

>

THANK YOU BASED GERMANY FOR THIS FUCKING WEIRD WANKER GOAT

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>english finalzzz
>Penerpool
>Tepidspurs
>Harry Lame
>Heung Min Done
>Christian "Real Madrid" Eriksen

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no problem m8

Please take a moment to remember the worst run club in Bundes and 2nd Bundes.

rentfree

I am home now

Based Kloppo, never doubted him

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Well boys the month is over, feeling good

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>be the living meme of german football
>"just gonna use this new witty meme, rentfree, that will show em

very good, but 6kg seems like a lot. You wouldnt lie to your bundes frens, would you?
anyway, how did you do it/how are you doing it?

I was basically completely out of shape so everything was extremely exhausting for me which means minimal effort turned into a lot of burned kcal. Also literally eating no sugar for the entire month and below 10g Carbohydrates a day. And staying at a pretty big calorie minus every day.

inb4 unhealthy, I have never felt this good in my life.

Really helped that me and my lads had a bet going on who can lose most weight in a month. Really pushed ourselves.
But really losing weight is easier than people make it out to be.

The best Beatles song

youtu.be/vdvnOH060Qg

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For me, it's youtube.com/watch?v=rblYSKz_VnI

based Austrian accent he still got. But it really is a joke, Serena is such an entitled bitch, she probably would have chimped out or claimed racism if she wouldnt have gotten her way. And the organisators play along of course

nice. Never had to lose weight luckily, but I know too well about the out of shape for almost everything thing. Currently doing 1h bike rides to get a bit better condition wise again, its funnier than running for me. Still should change my diet aswell, certainly eating and drinking too much sugar. Would start lifting again aswell if I had access to weights, hate training between other people and therefor shun the gym
You doing any sports or really just proper diet?

youtube.com/watch?v=SNPp2IBO-T0&t=

>1h bike rides
Das ist diffikult!!

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youtu.be/lLeZof1wGps

youtu.be/v-bZtxKMfY0

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youtube.com/watch?v=Pbn6a0AFfnM

"Ich bin nicht behindert/
Ich bin schwer behindert
Ich bin Adolf Hitler/
Ich bin Rainer Winkler"
beste stelle uezs

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youtube.com/watch?v=Js-PC3iOxlE
Thanks

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based and pillpilled

youtube.com/watch?v=PUe6kduckos

youtube.com/watch?v=emjLXdsj6xA

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youtube.com/watch?v=7v8wjmjY2LA
Btw nandos is pretty darn good
Hopefully I can try Hesburger(!) Some day

Nerman probably didn't rape the thot btw

youtube.com/watch?v=z6QgND6sXbc

B*ckstory?

>t. Neymar's father

she invited the woman to Paris after seeing her Instagram and he pulled the punisher of pussy, it's what she's saying

Nerman father is based af

see

they don't cry rape when the fucking is good is all i m saying

T. Fuckmann

cope

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Dunno, but if you're a Chad you can do it

I got the new Rammstein album yesterday, and while "Deutschland" is a good first song, the rest is sort of mediocre and doesn't really leave a lasting impression.

Rammstein is pretty shit if you ask me

There are some good ones
youtube.com/watch?v=Gqhe46Vj2Tk

> the rest is sort of mediocre and doesn't really leave a lasting impression.
Puppe
A few other songs were good too

le autosage

how do i stop liking women?

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okay, that one caught me by surprise, I admit it

By realising that their only purpose is to bear children and that you only have to find them attractive

>how do i stop liking women
>by being attracted to them
ah yes, thanks

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I never had a girlfriend

best advice so far

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lmao what a loser

In that case you should kill yourself because gays as well as asexuals have no worth in my eyes.

>he's a slave to weltlichen Gelüsten

Hitler never had a girlfriend and he was cool af

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wrong and wrong

>Hitler never had a girlfriend
>American education

>Had his first ever gf when he was like 50
Face the facts nerds

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>Had his first ever gf when he was like 50
threre's still hope for you then

Exactly... Now I just need to fulfill my destiny of ruling Germany...

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He was busy fighting in a war, writing a book, spreading the propaganda about the jews, claiming power and hunting leftwing socialists.
You on the other hand are posting on forum where the main demographic are betas who waste their time with anime, video games and complaining about being virgins.
Get a life you sucker.

>main demographic are betas
As were almost all of the early Nazis

So it looks like my grassroots campaign is eerily similar. Heute shitposting, morgen die welt

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both of you should have sex ASAP

he didn't want to do it tbf

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>handschuhfach

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youtube.com/watch?v=T8tGCVavS5s

holy mother of cringe

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