Chicago Cubs @ Houston Astros Official Gamethread

>oh boy the footbawl game is starting!
>Welcome to the Sprite™ Arena for this Mustards vs Bullets clash!
>Hi, I'm Chuck Stevens alongside DeAndre LaBarnes and welcome to the ESPN™ pre-game discussion brought to you by Burger King™ - eat it your way - and T-Mobile™ - keeping you in touch
>So DeAndre what do you think about the Mustards this year?
>See here whiteboi, I tink the Mussards finna...
>ok that's all the time we have, let's go to Becky Coalburner for the on-field report
>Hi Chuck, so I was in the Bullets dressing room earlier, and let me tell ya - I'll have a hard time walking in the next few days. Anyways, I spoke to the Bullets coach and he told me "we want to score a lot and keep them from scoring"
>thanks Becky, now it's time for a short 15 minute commercial break and we'll be ready for kickoff
>Nice Mustards kickoff, got a good distance on that and it looks like a timeout called for the Bullets
>boy, that was an early one. The Bullets coach better be careful, he only has 9 more timeouts this quarter
>ok time for the Samsung™ Instant Replay™ on that kickoff
>and we'll be back after another commercial break

Nice

whoa!

Hey Hey! HEYWARD WITH A SOLO SHOT HOMER
1-1

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Told you Martin sucks

based wife beater

RUSSELL!
BACK TO BACK JACKS!
2-1

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>Minute Maid Park
>took years to build

Whoa!!

>okay addy just pretend the ball is your wife
>t. cubs batting coach

Why is this idiot in the big leagues again? Can we just call up Forrest Whitley already?

DFA RIGHT FUCKING NOW

!!

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BOTE WITH HIS OWN SOLO SHOT
3-1

It would be nice to get home runs while men are on base though.

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This guy is getting lit up like a menorah.

No proof he touched her unlike the Astro's closer.

underrated.

There is nothing wrong with disciplining your woman. It's what God intended.

Go Cubs!

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Burn this meme park to the ground.

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not even back-to-back-to-back HRs can save this boring ass thread

>first at bat in the majors
>hits a double
I like this stubbs guy already

getting lit up like a Jew in an oven

The cubs are actually in the lead so I can't spam >cusb

>Enron Field

Good guys are leading, it means the thread is in comfy mode and not shitposter mode.

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>fisher
>being useful
Can our guys get uninjured already? I'm sick of this gimped lineup.

They should have followed Robin Williams' advice.
>Isn't Houston home of the artificial breast? Put a big nipple on that fucker, call it the Titty Dome! Call'em the Houston Tits and Astros. Doi t!

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They should put the hill back in the outfield like the good old days.

Martin will never be anywhere near this level. Hopefully he only gives up one run this time.

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>tfw no field with barbed wire, hills, and a stream in the outfield
I think baseball would be a lot more popular if there was retarded meme shit in the outfield

Needs lions

they should follow robin williams' example

MULTIBALL!

And if they allowed this

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lets do it maybe add a cheeky dog that steals the ball and the outfielder has to recover it

Wrigley Field is still the GOAT because the Ivy covers a brick wall. One visiting team outfielder is almost guaranteed to kill themselves running into it every season.

Racism is banned at Wrigley Field thankfully.

Saved by Marisnick again

YES BASED (((BREGMAN)))

Fan interference, Heyward could have gotten that.

They should really let the players open carry

You can open carry in Texas.

this park feels more babby home run then miller

jesus

I know he still has a few ABs but before the drama and injury Russell looked good last year. Maybe he does well this year and his numbers look nice so far

I meant on the field

No Miller is definitely much easier for hitters. Minute Maid is still pretty hitter friendly though.

>Get thrown at
>Do everything to get your face from getting smashed in
>Ump says you swung your bat doing it
Garbage ump.

He swung the bat retard. It's a strike.

Pretty sure Baez dominates fresh pitchers\

Hopefully he crushes it

No he didn't.

>josh james
The ride never ends

Why can't the Cubs get hits when someone makes it to or past 2nd base?

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OH NO BROS

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>AT&T
Congrats on having the worst theme in sports history.

FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES

>Base your new park off the Boston Meme Park
>Suddenly your team has good offense
Hmm...

Alright rookie catcher man it's up to you. Fisher will just flyout again.

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BASED FUCKING STUBBS THIS GUY IS ELITE

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We're going to find out something is rigged about this stadium some day.

wtf I love fisher now

Learn how to get a jump on the ball. A decent fielder would have caught that

obnoxious luck bullshit

>Jump for a ball
>Coming in front of you
This is how I know you've never played outfield.

I said "get a jump on the ball" which doesn't literally mean jump you ESL monkey

BRANTLEY YES!

>Build a giant outfield
>Dude just get a jump.
Ha

WHELP

nobody even warming up in the bullpen

"nah i know he gave up the lead and still can't get out of it let's just let him lose the game"

holy fucking shit maddon

>cusb

This is lying down behind a cow and taking it in the face, open mouth.

Don't give up yet cusb. Josh James might have one of his meltdowns and give up a bazillion runs.

rip division lead

those total luck hits got me heated

This game already feels like it's over. The fact that the Cubs can't string together hits in this meme park doesn't help.

Please

>That first 'strike' on Heyward
>Umps rigging the game for the Lastros now too.

come on astros let's get at least 5 more runs in this game

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>flys out
How did Tyler White turn into Evan Gattis 2.0 so fast?

>Suddenly the Lastros can't hit
Hmm....

They should play this real baseball rules and not baby league. Lester would be 1-2 with an RBI.

None of the guys that just got out have hits in this game.

>Lastro's only good hitters are one used to the meme stadium's dimensions.
No wonder they can only win at home.

D F A
F
A

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Lester is pure cancer

Stubbs tied the game with a clutch single hit and this is literally his first ever major league game. Fisher, who put them in the lead, is also a minor league callup who has had minimal time playing in the stadium.

>clutch
You mean pop up the ball into a huge outfield.

>Josh James
I told you he might have a meltdown. It's not over.

Bote!

Bote McBoteface

BOTE WITH A 2 RUN HOMER!
5-6

SCHWARBOMB!!!!!
6-6

We got a game again

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>huge outfield
Pretty sure minute maid has one of the smaller outfields in the league.

SCHWARBIE!!!

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Schwarblegarbbl

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FUCK DID THIS NIGGER SERIOUSLY GIVE UP ANOTHER HOME RUN WHILE I WAS TYPING HERE? GOD FUCKING DAMN IT

>Astros have to abuse their giant outfield to get hits
>Cubs can only score with home runs
Burn this shithole to the ground

Based Schwarbs

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>We got a game again
Basically we’re back where we started but tired.

>Rondon up
Please please please

This, fucking most hideous stadium in the MLB

>Baez

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Inb4 Astros get some more meme doubles to take the lead again

Just got here, Fucking kek

Alright that should mean Rondon for the 7th and 8th innings which should be okay. I kinda doubt Osuna will close again, so maybe Pressly will do take care of the 9th. Time to score some more runs.

>lester back out

NONONONONONONONON

I can't even pay attention to this game, I'm too distracted by my burning disgust for the stadium. Who got paid to design that pile of garbage?

me

>sewers down 5-0 late

thank god

Oh we can't have nice things.

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(((BREGMAN))) FUCK YES

BABBY WIKE HOME WUNS

stupid bullshit

FUCK YOU THEO FUCK YOU - TRADE MADDON FOR MANAGEMENT

What's the secret behind his jewish magic?

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this fucking dumpster fire of a bullpen

they need to make moves now or the season will be lost. no reliable guys at all, they're wasting time waiting on morrow, who will never throw another pitch for the cubs

get a closer. holy fuck.

I really can't stand home run derby games.

Steroids and a meme park, just like that Brewers guy.

are the asstros really going to be the first team to sweep every opponent on the way to a WS

Doubt it. The Twins kicked our ass last time we played them. They're legit.

Reply if you go to games with a mitt.

sup nigga

Can they do it?

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That's just asking to be jinxed.

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man astros are super lucky

HEYward

Time for a 3 run Bote blast.

FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES HOW DO THEY WORK FUCKING STRIKES

yeah their 65% win rate sure is pure luck

Oh wait, it's Descalso who's going to shit the bed because he should have been demoted last week.

Might have been messy but Rondon gets the job done. Just gotta hold on for 2 more innings.

>Descalso couldn't run that out.
Speed up your divorce Zobrist,

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i'm sure some of their wins are because of their awful park too

>still crying about the park

>They have the best home record.
I'd bet a month's pay some of their wins are because of this meme baseball field they got.

>arguably one the best team in the league has the best home record
imagine my shock

dude its a shit park, what else can i say

>Cheating team cheats with stadium
>Has most wins as a result
Imagine my shock

Cheaters spotted!!!!!

>Tyler White
Can we dfa this fat faggot and call up Alvarez already?

Yeah I can't even post WHITE POWER anymore. He's not good for anything.

Oh look, another hit thanks to that giant ass out field.

wew

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>WHITE POWER
He'd be banned at Wrigley, because at least that ballpark has standards and you have to earn your hits.

I love this new elite Jake

this is maddon's best bullpen pitcher?

what the fuck

Maples did well yesterday maybe he can turn a corner

>cusb ban anything that hurts their feelings

Oh look, another meme hit.

>astros fans anytime there's a drop of water

>hit the ball into open space where there are no fielders
>suddenly a meme hit
cusb fans everyone

Being this butthurt he can't be openly racist in a civilized state.

>Open space that's only open because the outfield is huge
>LOL just get a jump on the ball.
Lastro fags.

>cusb

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>WAAAAAH THE OUTFIELD IS TOO BIG I CAN'T GO RUN AND CATCH THE BALL!!!!

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>Bragging about needing to cheat to win
As expected of the baby league.
You deserved to be kicked out of the men's league.

Imagine falling for clear bait

2 outcomes for Baez AB
>RBI
>K

baez: fielder's choice, bote out at the plate

>g-g-good outfield is cheating!

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>Giant outfield to create a hitters park is not cheat
>Worst girl
As expected

>b-b-bros how do I play outfield, it's too big!

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>losing to Yea Forumsstros AAA
>t-they're cheating

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Heal faster Baez, you aren't suited for a baby league position

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>Only posts anime when they're winning
>Not even good girls
Must be a redneck thing.

kek

>m-m-mom those rednecks are posting anime on Yea Forums again!

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so this is the collective brainpower of astros fans

though to be absolutely fair, i'm sure you don't watch away games

>man on 3rd
>no outs

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They're fairweather fans, it's expected.

>fairweather houston fans

but they only started watching them after the hurricane

>i-i-it's the park; it's not that my team is trash

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>best road record in baseball the past 2 seasons
Nice argument dude

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>Dinosaur Man goes 1-2-3 against the top of the order
Even if it's not high leverage, it's still progress.

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kek

>Only winning because of a meme park
>Get BTFO by the Roid Sox
LMAOing at your life

>he enjoys watching a team play in this wonky-ass pussy domed

the astrodome was a cool stadium that actually had history

this stadium is so much of a lemon that only minute maid wanted the name rights

Osuna really beats the competition

>lastros
Fuck off literal cartoon watching manchildren

>avatarfag lifelong shows up
lel

It's a worse version of Tropicana Field.

>Both named after shitty orange drink companies
Makes sense.

>m-meme park
cope

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Hey Disasstros fans remember this?

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>the astrodome was a cool stadium
The keyword there is "was." That piece of shit needs to be demolished already. Thank god I don't actually live in the Houston city limits so it's not my tax dollars paying for that.

Eat shit shitcago. Go stros

>Can't deal with the facts
>Can only use reddit buzzword
LOL

I want the hill back so I can watch opposing teams get BTFO again.

Wheres the astros avatarfag?

Go drown in a flood again weebshitter asstros fags.

>w-why are they posting anime on 4channel!

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youtube.com/watch?v=3XUd2Eiaq74

BASED OSUNA

gg cubs. Once we got our real pitchers out there (Rondon, Pressly, and Osuna) the game was pretty much over. Good job wrecking Martin and James though.

>57-24 away record
>46-35 home record
>y-you can't accept the facts
retard

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Thanks for proving they can only win by cheating

All weebs need to die.

>al west
>posting reaction images like an ironic weeb

>he says this while posting on an anime website

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gg asstros, i still hate you since the days you were in the NL central and hope your faggot team implodes though

Well these games can't be helped, these sort of ballparks and umps aren't good for Cubs pitching, and the order is entirely banged up so they can't string together solid at bats.

Hopefully Bryant and Baez heals up so they can come back in full.

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Yea Forumsstros win!
cusb """fans""" seething

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The Cubs might lose, but their taste in waifus is far superior to the Lastros.

Ironic weeb can't wait to see your garbage team go back into last place under the water where it belongs.

ironic weeb spotted!!!

CUBS SUCK LOL

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have fun in your flyover division

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