/trans/ - Edition goes in all fields edition

Jovic...... Chelsea.........

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Kos...kosm...

Have you even approached her?

Her plane crashed

>Sergio Ramos has told president Florentino Perez that he wants to terminate his contract to go to China on a free transfer
Thoughts?

Fear the noodle sponsor...

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More likely than United

Guys just heard from a guy in a white dress that the nufc deal is completely done.

What the fuck is this pastey skinned stick? She looks malnourished and deprived of vitamin d

They are going to cuck United out of Koulibaly, aren't they? Militao doesn't seem ready to get into Real's starting XI yet.

was this in Sam's Chicken?

Pepe's Piri Piri, caught him outside on the phone and asked him about the deal, confirmed it was all done.

>UEFA suspended Barcelona's transfer ban pending the appeal letting them sign Suarez etc.
>UEFA refused to suspend Chelsea's pending the appeal

Give one justification for this.

Koulibaly doesn't want to leave Naples.

Ancelotti said he won't be sold like yesterday.

Chelsea are being made an example of

chelsea are cunts

I guess we'll find out by the Europa League final what is actually happening with CAS

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she is peng as fuck m8

UEFA are corrupt, as are Barcelona and Chelsea. Barcelona are more relevant so they got more of the benefit. Obviously neither team should have their transfer ban suspended as that ruins the whole point of a transfer ban

UEFA support spurs

Holding out for a better offer from the upper divisions

whats the point of covering your hair when i can see how nice your ass is shaped?

>UEFA Jews

>Giving Chelsea a break

pick one nigel

Yeah, kind of how Pique said Neymar would stay and then he left a few days later.

Women are a meme

YID
I
D

Even Islam cant stand up to Western influence

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masha'Allah

if she weren't a product of incest i'd have done her

Brehs

Who actually believes NUFC is being taken over? Doesn't a "takeover bid" happen literally every transfer window for them? Why does this only happen in the transfer windows?

I want to believe

do you hear our prayers?

Anyone else agree the wembley nets are too deep?

Need to be about 1m deep max.

Why does that matter?

Takes away part of the thrill when the goals are so big, goals take forever to hit the back of the net.

You'll never see a goalkeeper in his own net at wembley because then nets so far away.

>Here’s some grim news for anyone who fancies a quiet life. Newcastle’s slow-burning takeover saga could be about to conclude, with the Dubai-based billionaire Sheikh Khaled bin Zayed Al Nehayan reportedly set to be on the verge of releasing them from their Mike Ashley-shaped yoke. He is a half-brother of the Manchester City owner Sheikh Mansour, and Newcastle are yet to deny that a deal is afoot, offering nothing more than a “no comment”. Just remember to log out of Twitter, and perhaps all of the internet, when we are all discussing their duopoly at the top of the league in five years’ time.

Meanwhile, who can possibly beat a good homecoming? Paul Pogba certainly enjoyed it when, in that Stormzy-orchestrated big reveal, he returned to the place – one of the places – he knows and loves back in August 2016. A shame it hasn’t worked out so well, then, but the Manchester United midfielder might have a convenient escape valve at hand. What about another magnificent return, but this time to Juventus? It could be a goer: the Old Lady would consider offering Paulo Dybala and Alex Sandro, two players who could help speed Ole Gunnar Solskjær’s deep clean up a bit, in return for their former hero. That could be enough to pip a procrastinating Real Madrid to the prize.

>Real could do with getting shot of Gareth Bale before another big name comes in, but that might prove tricky. Everyone knows they’re making eyes at Eden Hazard, but Christian Eriksen – who only has a year left on his Spurs contract – is also setting their tongues wagging. Swap deal with Spurs for Bale, in a continuation of our returning-legend theme? It looks unlikely but presumably something will have to clear the logjam.

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>Newcastle are going to be relevant again if the sheik's cousin buys it
What a time line, boys. Arsenal down to 10th like I said they would be.

A player Real and United would both like is the outstanding Napoli centre-back, Kalidou Koulibaly. But Carlo Ancelotti has scotched that one: the Serie A club’s boss has said he will stay for another season, unless somebody ponies up around £132m. United might turn their attention to the more affordable young Benfica defender Rúben Dias.

>It hasn’t worked yet with Neymar, so who would Paris Saint-Germain like to bring them that elusive Champions League prize? It’s James Milner, of course: a report claims Thomas Tuchel would love the versatile Liverpool veteran to come and teach his lads a thing or two about European success once his contract has run down after the Champions League final. Filipe Luís, the burly Atletico Madrid full-back, could be enlisted to add further steel.

Where are Manchester City in all this early transfer posturing? They’re locked in a dark room with Leroy Sané, apparently, and no one is leaving until he’s agreed to sign a new deal rather than join Bayern Munich. But Sane knows he isn’t one of Pep Guardiola’s go-to guys these days and the sense is that he would like to try his luck anew as a main man in Bavaria. Could Sané and Callum Hudson-Odoi, whose Chelsea future remains unclear, become the new Arjen Robben and Franck Ribery?

>Grim news for Everton, meanwhile, with West Ham reported to have bid £18m for André Gomes, the Barcelona midfielder who pulled the strings on loan at Goodison last season. Marco Silva is desperate to get his man nailed down permanently so needs to show his hand – with Spurs also waiting in the wings to snaffle up the Portugal star. Mauricio Pochettino is an admirer, although he is strongly in for the Real Betis schemer Giovani Lo Celso, who could cost a princely £52m.

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Post more hijabi bad bitches

>Ramos
Even a retard like him has realized he can't fully display his elbow Krav Maga potential with VAR

Switzerland squad for the Nations League finals.

Vargas, Okafor and Coemert are also part of the squad for the first part of preparation, to make up for Xhaka, Shaqiri, Zuber and Freuler arriving late due to club matches

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Don't go Mbabu

He already has, he's moving to Wolfsburg

>Shaqiri
did he have to stand on a box for that photo

Just had a season ending alcohol injury lads, boss is fuming.

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berahino style or?

>that one with the massive chebs in a shoe shop

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Don't go Mvogo

What will happen with Kovacic this summer? He ended up quite impressive at Real, both good offensively and responsible defensively, but he really disappointed under Sarriball.
I understand that Chelsea can't keep him because of the ban? Is he really good or was his level this season his real level?
Would you want him at your club?

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>I understand that Chelsea can't keep him because of the ban?

They actually can and probably will.

Didn't read lol

His level this season is his level in PL (for one season). At La Liga, he'd have more time on the ball and more space in midfield.

This season isn't really a defining one for Kovacic. Though, from watching his Real and Chelsea performances, he's either under utilised or just not good enough to be world class.

I don't know what it is about Kovačić, but he seems to be lacking that one thing. I don't know what that is, but I always feel comfortable with him on the ball. What's even his best position? Is it, dare I say it, regista?

Welcome to Newcastle

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Centrocampista diagonale

>Still finishes 14th

Usually enforcing the decision is suspended in case of an appeal when there is a reason to believe that the appeal has some legitimacy behind it. Appealing for the sake of appealing won't cut it. It seems that there's little reason to believe Chelsea didn't sign those youngsters illegally.

20 teams is too many, tired of shitters like villa, norwich and huddersfield yo-yoing ffs

no Bürki?

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>Newcastle United owner Mike Ashley has agreed to sell the club for £350m to the cousin of Manchester City owner Sheikh Mansour. (Sun)

great people are calling fake news on it

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Are selfies allowed on Yea Forums

If you had a million dollars, who/what would you buy?

haha real funny you stupid ignore ramous its you idiot

An apartment in the most southern part of Russia. Fuck winter.

>Selling Neymar and Mbappe
>Linked to Milner

Are PSG done?

He's stepped back to focus on club football, same as Hitz. It's a pretty tight decision between him and Sommer, so it sucks extra hard for him that he's basically stuck as second choice

Would you still eat Kraft Dinners?

>welcome to grozny

I only found out that Grozny is a real place a few weeks ago

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Reminds me i need to watch bald and bankrupt on youtube

A gf

2 gf's

>Grozny

In Croatian "grozni" means terrible. Did Russians call a city of theirs "Terrible?" Why?

Is Bumble a meme app lads? Can't be fussed with this nonsense to be honest, sick of matching with qt women only to have them not message within the 24 hour window.

Good idea on paper to make it so the woman has to message first, bad in practice.

It means "intimidating" in Russia.

Get on whatever app that lad was on last night chatting to french babes

In Russian, I mean. That's how the fortress around which it was built was called.

>french babes

Not a fan of the hairy armpit look ngl

You'll learn to like it or you'll carry on wanking into a sock.

Victor Moses welcome to Fenerbache

great another shithole propaganda piece for a murderous regime

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>or you'll carry on wanking into a sock
Man, that's fucking filthy. Use tissues and flush them down the toilet or just go and ejaculate into the toilet.

>Tottenham "one step away" from completing £25M deal for Newcastle forward Ayoze Perez, currently leading Napoli in the race (CalcioNapoli24)
can I get a redpill on Ayoze Perez?

Only if they show your hairy (Boi)pusy

baffling bid
£25m don't make me laugh, he's worth £5m at a push

Shouldn't flush tissues down the toilet, blocks the sewers. Use toilet roll.

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Only very recently developed an end product. He's been pissing me off for years and just got good in the last few months. I'd be happy with 25m which should tell you everything.

Wow Neymar is almost 30?

lad that works hard and can't finish
will do a pretty decent job of warming tottenhams bench though
unbelievable that they would throw £25m at him, being honest I'd say £10m is too much for him

Premier League Proven™

>lad that works hard and can't finish
I had that problem, if you know what I mean.

>mfw a few years ago the whole area had toilets ejecting sewage because some fucking brainlet flushed a jacket potato skin and it dabbed on the entire system

Some of the things people flush are unreal. Do you know what one of the most common (after wipes and tissues and kitchen roll and condoms etc) objects is for blocking the main sewage system? Nappies. What kind of fucking retard would even think about flushing a nappy? Stupid retards, that's who.

Next big upcoming star

>it's a "Spurs overpaying for a Newcastle player" episode
god i hate reruns

>that 15 year old boomer

Cundy is only on sportsbar once this week, wtf? Got that wet nonce darren lewis on, though perry groves should be a laugh.

>blocks the sewers
Moving out soon, not my problem.

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funny, I had the exact opposite of that problem

>Liverpool are buying Depay

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twitter.com/SkySports_Keith

promising times ahead for NUFC. Hope this new owner Sheikhs things up

Servette have signed Martial

Former Celtic, Charlton and Hearts striker Tony Watt has signed for CSKA Sofia in Bulgaria

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nice. I might finally get to see more newcastle matches in europe.

Gonna go see Booksmart tonight lads. Will post my review around 11pm: keep a beady eye out

also
>sunderland fans right now

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>female Superbad
Hard pass

a subaru WRX STI Type RA and a house between the bourget lake and the annecy lake with enough land for permaculture and some wilderness to develop

Aren't Subaru's cars for lesbians?

youtube.com/watch?v=A_MORGCcrzE

Impreza wrz is literally testosterone: the car

doesn't look lesbian to me

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scooby oi oi

You'll have to wait and see, won't you

>mfw Subaru's became really popular where I live in about 2000/2001
>mfw literally every single person who owned one was some kind of drug dealer
>mfw the only exception was a butch as fuck lesbian
>mfw turned out she was a drug dealer too

I'm almost in agreement with this guy.

That's what it's pretty obviously being advertised as.

theatlantic.com/business/archive/2016/06/how-subarus-came-to-be-seen-as-cars-for-lesbians/488042/

It's just the American Lesbians that buy the Subaru SUV's, you guys are right. My bad

That car and the videos I just watched are awesome, I should start watching rallying again, I look like a young Sébastien Loeb as well

already seen it its whack

You haven't read my scathing critique yet
Nor you

Any Balotelli rumours??? His contract runs out

Radamel Falcao could return to Atletico Madrid this summer, six years after he left the club, Mundo Deportivo reports.

>Premier League clubs Everton, Crystal Palace and Newcastle are interested in signing Nice winger Allan Saint-Maximin, according to Nice-Matin, who has impressed in Ligue 1 this season.

Real Madrid coach Zinedine Zidane has convinced captain Sergio Ramos to remain at the club, according to Marca.

>Chelsea have no plans to sack Maurizio Sarri this summer, Sky Sports News understands.

Carlos Carvalhal is back in management with Portuguese side Rio Ave. It is his first role since leaving Swansea in May 2018.

>Juventus striker Moise Kean has reportedly agreed a new contract, which will quadruple his salary and keep him at the club until 2024, according to Gazzetta dello Sport.

Manchester United, Tottenham, PSG and Real Madrid are all interested in signing Real Betis midfielder Giovani Lo Celso, according to Marca.

>Juventus have identified Maurizio Sarri as their first choice to replace departing boss Massimiliano Allegri, according to Sky Italy.

Lyon midfielder Houssem Aouar has admitted he would be interested in playing under Manchester City manager Pep Guardiola.

>West Ham have had an £18m bid for midfielder Andre Gomes rejected by Barcelona, Sky Sports News understands.

Liverpool are eyeing Hull goalkeeper David Marshall as a potential replacement for the outgoing Simon Mignolet, according to the Star.

>Roma striker Edin Dzeko is reportedly on his way to Turkey for talks over a transfer to Fenerbahce.

>going to the cinema

Pointless, rather stay on here.

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Empoli President Fabrizio Corsi has confirmed that ‘the conditions are there’ for Giovanni Di Lorenzo to join Napoli.

>Sampdoria boss Marco Giampaolo will reportedly make a final decision on his future next week.

Arsenal manager Unai Emery wants to sign PSG right-back Thomas Meunier, according to France Football

>Nothing new/concrete for Lille attacker Nicolas Pépé - Inter Milan’s €60m offer remains in the table, with Liverpool, Manchester United & Arsenal “clearly interested,” PSG & Atletico Madrid are there too, according to France Football.

All advanced discussions that the club was having with targets have ceased suddenly, according to @Tanziloic. He claims that there is a big internal power struggle currently ongoing at PSG.

>Arsenal, Leicester, Liverpool & Everton have spoken with the entourage of Lyon winger Bertrand Traoré recently, according to @sebnonda.

Multiple reports in Spain say Sergio Ramos has asked #RealMadrid to allow him to leave on a free transfer to move to the Chinese Super League

And what I'm saying is, I don't need to.

Either the adverts are honest, at which point it's just another example of the movie industry's creative bankruptcy. Or the movie can't stand on its own merits, so they have to make it seem like an already known comedy

It's entirely because of Colin McRae Rally, the ps1 game.

>>Chelsea have no plans to sack Maurizio Sarri this summer, Sky Sports News understands.

Transfer ban definitely getting frozen.

He said yesterday he wouldn't walking around on the Velodrome pitch next season too

>Colin McRae

F.
I used to fucking love that game though.

Where are
>Ramos
>Boateng
>Alderweireld
>Godin
>Koulibaly
>Umtiti
>Marquinhos
going?

You know what movie does look decent? Brightburn

>Boateng
hopefully far, far away from where he is now

I really hope Godzilla is decent. I've been slowburning this hype for a long time

>Ramos
to the bank with his new contract
>Boateng
gonna stay at bayern forever
>Alderweireld
Manu
>Godin
Inter
>Koulibaly
Nowhere
>Umtiti
Dunno I'm sure he's going. Manu? PSG?
>Marquinhos
Nowhere

There was some reviewer who actually complained that they didn't focus enough on the human drama. In a fucking giant monster movie. You know what you're getting going into that, and it's not going to be Sophie's Choice

Looks like kino's back on the menu boys

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ummm sweaty enough with the toxic masculinity

All United.

>the Newcastle takeover is actually happening

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bbc.co.uk/sport/football/48420387

>Newcastle United: Mike Ashley in talks to sell club to billionaire Sheikh Khaled

H A P P E N I N G

Do you know any Newcastle fans so you can mock them for ever whining about Man City?

reminder that newcastle will be a plastic oil club if they sheikh takes over

>that tapas restaurant in town seems expensive lets go spain instead
>pays for airport parking
>ryanair flights of £30/each (ignores airport taxes LOL)
>rents car in majorca
all before he has even bought lunch. what is this bald cunt trying to achieve?

Imagine being excited about more Arab money teams
Imagine making an entire movie for the banter
Imagine associating with Northerners

Imagine imagining things

glad someone watched it

no prob, Noel

I don't give a fuck what you think
I hope we buy a thousand niggers for a million a week each and all of Yea Forums seethes forever

How did people ever get caught for murder in the 1930s?

Baffling.

That lad was incredible on FM11

time for people to get on the bandwagon now

Who will be their first marquee signing?

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Now that we can show our face here again, who are we gonna sign? Is that Messy lad available?

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>Newcastle fans whining about Man City

things that never happened, because we've all wanted a sugardaddy

What an atrocious, plastic specimen.

If I were them I would at least keep ayoze perez and almiron for a little while. they seemed decent for depth

3 mediocre PL players for 60m each.
Plus Robinho.

Neymar could be their Robinho.

lel

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Imagine posting on /trans/

Sergio Ramos

don't care if people call me plastic on Yea Forums if it means we can actually be decent

>mfw most of the butthurt I've seen about the Newcastle takeover has came from Everton fans

Why? Is it the Rafa thing?

digging this 'imagine' gimmick

Seriously though, I think Newcastle are getting Coutinho.

Everton fans are massive gimps

They think 7th place is their territory

Everton fans are worried and Jealous about potentially getting knocked off the best of the rest perch

We've entered the TOP 8 era

reminder Rafa is gonna get sacked and its going to be Portsmouth 2.0

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Everton are a sugar daddy team as well aren't they? Usmanov is basically Abramovich but richer.

planetfootball.com/trending/7-goals-in-10-days-no-wonder-liverpool-want-to-nick-joao-pedro-from-watford/

inb4 another oil sheikh buys Arsenal

Don't think so, IIRC the camera is lowered for him instead.

Imagine if they shoehorned Fat Sam back into Newcastle

Yes they are now, but have basically wasted all the money from the takeover on shit a few seasons ago.

*carves northeasternly*

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>Newcastle owners decide they have no interest of satisfying FFP and happy to be a top 8 team
>keep buying all of man city shitters for Billions of pounds
youre a retard if you think this WONT happen

I hope we do that, re-sign Kevin Nolan and Carroll and dip them both in gold every time they play.

Well we're already not in Europe so who gives a fuck, I hope we spend 500 million on Laporte.

I'm sure Man City's early purchases weren't all successful either

*Robinho intensifies*

Time for the monday night club on 5 live

radio-uk.co.uk/bbc-radio-5-live

Cities success (despite oil money) was having the barcelona office staff

Will Newcastle be doing the same?

A lot of gacha rolls.

Ferraris are better 2bh. But I'm not as interested in fancy cars now as I used to be.

You can't clone Txiki, not yet at least

For what gacha, is the question.

They could try and poach some smaller team's successful management

Imagine digging the 'imagine' gimmick

>Bowser = Newcastle
>Mario = the premier league
>Peach = mackems in chastity cages

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How does one acquire a transfer like this?

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Total love knife material

By being a nice decent person who listens to other people without expecting anything in return

>inb4 mike ashley wants an additional 100mil at the 11th hour and blows it
I'm not gonna believe it until I see the fat bastard say it's done

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Imagine if Eddie Howe was manager of Everton with the money of City. They could realistically win the league, haha.

Players these days never show passion like this. The instant anything goes south they look for a way out, but she's determined to see it out to the bitter end. 10/10 would sign.

*gets relegated*

Imagine Mike Ashley doesn't sell

My head says that's what will happen, because he does this every single transfer window
My heart says its happening and Kane is going to be announced tomorrow

You just know it'll collapse

Wouldn't be surprising, Ashley has pulled out of selling Newcastle before a few times

Almost like he does it just to piss of the Newcastle fans even more. He never really wanted to sell, just to get there hopes up to see it come crashing down

You think the Sheik is buying newcastle because of the prime slags?

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It happens because the offers are never real, there's never any proof, you just get some of Ashley's media buddies to circulate le takeover rumours and that's it. Might even be the same this time.

Dat jaw on the right, I'm a bit jealous honestly.

Looks like De Ligt is back on the menu boys.

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This is true. You need someone who is willing to fight. She's definitely fit to wear the shirt.

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1 > 3 >>> 2 > 4

Now you're trying too hard.

This thread is shit. I can't believe I actually have to go to reddit if I want to discuss football nowadays.

I mean, that took 15 seconds. I wouldn't really call that trying

PRÖÖÖÖH :DDD

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If you go to reddit, stay there

good fucking god

only slightly less gross than the Taylor Swift Man Utd kit

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I mean you're trying to hard to make Bloodborne memes relevant. You'll make them stale too soon.

Meme supervisor right here

Get considerably more hype please /trans/

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>She wanted to kill him and then herself
>He's alive
>She's alive

Why do we keep pretending that women are just as capable as men?

Hazard going to be announced soon?

Imagine wanting to discuss football

good fetish

Just watched The Highwaymen.

Utter shite.

>Sells Newcastle
>Buys Arcadia
>Still makes profit
>Literally everyone wins

To be fair, he was stabbed several times and lucked out. See

Gonna take a monster shot right to the mouth lads

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Very high quality discourse indeed

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Shola coming back as DoF for Rafa?

Sign him up Sheikhy son

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reddit was a mistake

I forgot Obertan even existed.

unironically they could get shearer. without ashley in charge he probably would love a role at the club. doubt shearer knows the first thing about being a DoF though

What do Geordie EDL supporters think of all this?

>Sister goes to a party
>Falls asleep
>Memers there start trying to feed her food when she's asleep
>Recorded the whole thing and think it's funny as fuck
>Could easily have choked

Fucking dickheads! What were they hoping to achieve? Should I go around there?

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newkasbah will try to sign de jong but end up with the wrong one, rodwell, andy carroll and pepe
cap this

>The masked man

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Stop acting all tough. I doubt you could write "love" this many times in your own blood.

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OH NO NO NO NO

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Striker coach maybe, or employ him as a happy smiling geordie who just walks around the grounds and says good pr things to the media about the club.

What fucking stadium is that

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What the...

>Those moon runes
>Real writing

Keep moving, Fritz, this doesn't concern you.

Good effort lad

>falling asleep first

deserved

the fakest tweet I've ever seen

fake news

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got a smile on her face hasn't she? fucking loving it

reminder that /trans/ is an anti-murder general

JUST

That makes me think she's lucid and playing along, or having a dream about sucking dick.

>having a dream about sucking dick

She's just turned 18 mate, I don't even think she's ever seen a dick before never mind sucked one. So don't say things like that about her.

Yes, go and ask for the rest of the stuff they filmed.

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Islam is like if Yea Forums was a religion

Bargain signing of the season has already happened btw

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Murder is cool as long as it's only attempted and done by a qt like this.

instagram.com/yuyuyunochan/

WHOMST

I've known girls that sucked like 10 dicks before they turned 18.
I knew a girl who sucked 3 guys in a row when she was 14.

Looks like he's wearing a wig

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I'm thinking Everton could realistically win the league.

>Just turned 18
>I don't even think she's ever seen a dick before never mind sucked one.

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>kills

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Tell us more about life in the banlieus

>In hoc signo vince

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Is there anything better than being a /trans/ lad?

Confirmed.

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DAT BRILLIANT ALIEN

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I knew girls like that when I was younger too, but my sister isn't like that. I think they took drugged her and took advantage of the situation. I'm going around there and I'm going to see what they have to say.

Having a /trans/ gf.

let us know how the ntr goes

would become customer

Ellis Simms, scored 46 goals in all competitions for Everton U18s last season, and now signed a pro contract.

How do you say 'howay the lads' in arabic?

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youtube.com/watch?v=tpQqH4H_SUQ

For me, its the new NUFC kit

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كيف الفتيان
(kayf alfityan)

>yes, I am considering selling the club to an Asian/Arab/Bolivian billionaire... pls renew season tickets and buy new shirts from Sports Direct pls

Every season.

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>Haven't really hung out on /trans/ before
>Everyone seems like good lads
>Watching for updates on the Newcastle front
>Checking out new leaks (no one decent, just seen Lena Meyer Landrut, but I don't know who she is, you might because she's German)
>Raining
>Going to 420blazeit
>Nice can of Dr Pepper open

At the minute I can't think of anything better, no.

twitter.com/meganm_8/status/1132984812007034881?s=21
Based.

>tfw always get excited for youths
I will never learn.

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...Jack?

Gonna be interesting when the come up against The Saints

I live in the south of Paris, in a place where the rich go to private middle schools and the poorer go to shithole before getting grades permitting you to get into a decent high school (I went in one of the best in Paris).
But yeah middleschool was hell and I had to fight each year not to get bullied.

she's smoking a fag at the scene of the crime? that's amazing honestly

Similarly I ended up in /seriea/ last night because there was no other football on and they are a great bunch of lads.

Based

...Jamal?

>Nice can of Dr Pepper open
Nice. I recently started drinking Dr Pepper Zero. I thought it would taste horrible, but it really tastes just like regular

Rashid?

...Raekwon?

Spurs are getting trashed this Saturday, right?
I'm scared, I really expect a trashing for some reason.

And wearing crocs AND calling her mum to tell her she's gonna be busy for a while. No fucks given.

Oh shit, shouldn't have logged into my Yea Forums pass with fb

who /bundesligaplayoff/ here

>Kloppo
>not bottling it

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Teams don't often get trashed in finals, it'll likely be close until the last 20 mins when the winner will step forward.

Oh, shit. I almost forgot about that. Time to laugh at Stuttgart.

Rooting for Union for Berliner Derby. Also Stuttgart deserve relegation at this point

>mfw I was honestly going to go itt last night because I couldn't find any other active football threads
>mfw didn't bother because I just wanted to talk about Football Italia (the one from the '90s)

>Dr Pepper Zero

Does it? I used to drink Coke Zero when it first came out and it was fucking awful. It's turned me off all the Zero shit because of it.

>but my sister isn't like that

huh, user, I...

Lads it's tottenham.

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>on BT Sport ESPN so you only get the shitty stream without the highlights at the bottom and stuff

Not kino.

Yeah, I was wary because of the taste difference between regular and zero of other drinks, and was sure Dr Pepper would be one of the worst in terms of that. But I honestly can't taste a difference.

Do away goals count?

I've just thought, I tried the Sprite Zero and didn't even notice the difference until I looked back at the can once it was finished.
I'll have to give them a try. Based Dr Pepper, bro looking out for me.

I might get corrected on this, but the commentators said it would only go to extra time if it ends 2-2, so I'm guessing so

The Sprite and cucumber stuff is really nice, I bought it by mistake the first time.

One responsible for holding out the ball, but not actually attacking, seeing as he dribbles like a motherfucker, but doesn't use that ability to break defensive lines.

who /plastic toon/ here

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>Why yes, I do watch Serie A!

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No go on the cucumber front. It's like 98% water and has a bizarre "dry" taste. Do not like. I went off those ones that are mixed with some strange fruit or vegetable. Mind you it was years ago so I should probably give them another try.

based

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allah akhbar

>giving a shit about the transfer of 50% of Ravioli moving from Bologna to Spagetti
no thanks

>Hirving Lozano will not play in the Gold Cup due to a knee injury
based, it's our year la'

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You're right.

Also Gomez at Stuttgart, that's a blast from the past.

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>yes...yes.... bow to me
I really hope this is Portsmouth revisited

>your best player is not even a benchwarmer at Buyern
Yeah no

i realize my pic is very confusing. that is just some journalist who broke the news, not the new owner.

>I really hope this is Portsmouth revisited

No, that's Sunderland's fixture next season. Stay mad.

Getting dangerously close to having too many ngubus

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They were mentioning that the last time a Stuttgart player scored as many goals in a season as Gomez was Ottmar Hitzfeld. Based Gottmar

At least they won the FA Cup, I'll take that

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>nathan ake is dutch

oh

As much as I like Davies, he's not our best player (yet). Borjan is probably our best

>that entire team

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Vermeer looks like an older Mvogo

>Hateboer

Why are Dutch names so based.

Tell me about Pikeys

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why do krauts love denim jackets so much

Aliterates really nicely with his first name 'Hans' as well

Follow @sjfoot.co.uk on instagram for leaked football shirts and to buy cheap shirts

>still buying footy shirts
this is an over 18s site

Could you guys please stop importing niggers to your country? Thanks and have a good night.

Stop exporting them then

This one

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having blacks in your national team just shows how successful your country's empire was

this is only correct for European Countries.

Don't expect Newcastle to get good anytime soon desu. New owner will have a bit of cash but if this was sizing up to be city-esque the media circus around it would be far, far bigger. They'll just consolidate as a mid-table club.

He literally tried to buy Liverpool for 2 BILLION last year.
This is fucking huge. Another total up-ending of the order on the cards.

Deschamps' slaver-esque management of his team was amazing to be fair.

finally another set of fans I can call plastic

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Lo lo, lo lo, lo lo, lo looooo, lo lo, lo lo, lo lo, lo looooo..

I mean it is 8 on a bank holiday evening so most of the hacks won't be in the office

Plenty of local reporters who seem hyped as fuck

>that Alexa ad
>it instantly starts playing the Mark Ronson/Amy Winehouse version
Seems like bullshit

Messi has spoken

even though the fan base was huge before?

They'll do an Everton and sign a bunch of players they don't need and fail to strengthen holes in their team.

City have always had a great support even when shit too.

You mean like when they had 3,007 fans turn up for a home game

based

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LAD

>65 unread texts
H-h-haha, I'm that popular as well. All people get that many texts right...

Based

problematic

Milner is better than Neymeme

What do Everton really need though? Sometimes I wonder if they don't just need stability, keeping a good coach for more than a year.

it was a nice day lads but the dreams over

twitter.com/CraigHope_DM/status/1133092598904705025

Ah well

@ma77vr 8 minutes ago Replying to @CraigHope_DM @Matt_Lawton_DM @AdamCrafton_
Nice one cheers, sons crying

Silva can stay, the team performed well enough towards the end of the season to convince me that he is capable of putting together a good team. What we really need is a striker, obviously, a right winger, and a backup for right back, and this is on top of signing Zouma and Gomes permanently, otherwise they need to be replaced too. Luckily we have a competent Director of Football this time around so I'm hoping he gets what we need.

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>Liverpool sources describe group as time-wasters.
Not like the sheikh would be very excited with a 5% share, FSG will always be absolutely dominant in the foreseeable future.

Nah mate fuck off we're signing Elano

Sergei M. Savic to Jewe

Insigne to Inter

Inzaghi "Le coach" to Jewe

Sarri to Riomma

>Tortelli to Ravioli

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>HOLY FUCKING BASED OIL DADDY COMING TO SAVE US AND TREAT OUR CLUB AS A TOY
count your blessings, toon anons

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>Why yes, I do care about Giovanni Tortellini moving from FC Mortadella to SS Lasagna. How could you tell?

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Because being an Arab's toy is so much worse than an Englishman's toilet.

>Why yes I do care about Narancia's transfer from the mortal realm, why do you ask?

Ironically, that Sheikh is probably shitting on some Instagram model as I'm typing this

because Mike Ashley is the worst owner in existence?
>a bloo bloo we relegated twice a bloo

who /lifelong/ here?

>City have always had a great support
Not really. They were just a bunch of white people.

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I bet a handsome gentleman like this has 65 unread texts.

>because Mike Ashley is the worst owner in existence?

In the top flight, how many worse are there?

For me it's Stan Kroenke.

This guy is just clickbaiting

The article he links to says none of the stuff in his tweet

This is why Americans have an advantage
Their sports like gridiron, baseball etc are niche basically everywhere outside their country
So they can regulate and limit pay, transfer fees etc without repercusions
If let's say the FA did this then the players would just move to Spain or Germany

Homosexual
Bad Teeth

We don't care what you think

Getting relegated twice in ten years is pretty awful given Newcastle are comfortably mid table for wealth and crowds

God I wish Britain was Muslim

Yeah but he will be sacked at the first sight of a bad form.

Kanker Jood.

go to west ham and it is

Kroenke is nowhere near as terrible as Mike Ashley

Still yet to hear a single reason from Newcastle fans as to why mike ashley is so bad

>A whole list of one based on a club that has never spent money and a manager who literally played moneyball for 20+ years because that was his preferred method

Alright, don't ever reply to me again.

It's one word, kankerjood

>never put any money into the club
>actively takes money out
Hmmm.

If you don't know by now you're a fucking retard and I won't be spoonfeeding you just for you to go 'nuh uuuuh'

No way, we've already been through a patch of bad form towards the middle of last season and Moshiri came out to basically say "We can't afford to sack him, so we'll just ride it out", and in the end it worked out. I can easily see him being our manager for a while still.

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>w-we only spend £40m a year

>b-but the 10th highest wage budget in the country is too low for the toon

I'm not doing it mate

Who is the most likeable PL club owner?

Thank you.

They've made a profit most years you nonce

>REEE HE USED HIS OTHER COMPANIES AS SPONSORS AND NOW THE EPIC ST JAMES STADIUM IS ACTUALLY THE SPORTS DIRECT.COM STADIUM

Leicester's

F

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Unironically John Henry. He runs that club pretty well and Liverpool aren't afraid to spend money

Net spend is absolutely irrelevant. Newcastle have spent circa £230m on footballers in the last 4 years.

Also has a based wife.

>w-we only spend £40m a year

Now consider that Sunderland spent £35m on transfers in fucking League One.
Just in case you were wondering, yes, they will be playing their games there AGAIN next season.

Delia Smith

RIP

>gets triggered by other clubs bidding on a player
no

Wait, so now that Aston Villa is up, Grealish to Spurs is 100% off?

Yeah, definitely 35m in that.

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on WHO
Murphy and Muto were about 12m each so where has the other 205m come from you fucking wanker
Just shut the fuck up

Still, he doesn't trigger the FFPfags and no one is demanding he spends more money, sounds pretty based to me

well done, that's 2 players out of the 31 players brought in on permanent deals by newcastle in that period.

WHERE ARE THE TRANS LADS
Fuck this, starting the trans window before the European finals is a disaster of an idea.

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Kieran Trippier
Harry Winks
James Ward-Prowse
Nathan Redmond

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The only two that were above 10m, cunt.
Post some stats if you're so confident.

>The only two that were above 10m, cunt.
you don't even know your own club, do you really need me to tell you? how about gayle, ritchie, wijnaldum, mitrovic?

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>Gomez
He's going to smash his ankle again.

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I said stats faggot, there's nowhere near 230m there

Transfers cancelled this season lad

I'm not copy pasting 4 years of Newcastle transfers, but I have already totted it all up. The total is £230m. Feel free to come back with a different figure. You will be wrong, but feel free.

>tfw your club has two fullbacks
>fullbacks are some of the most important players in the team
>tfw an injury away from 5th

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Poor Winks

> beIN SPORTS will have Jose Mourinho and Arsene Wenger as pundits for our Live Arabic studio at the Wanda Metropolitano for the Champions League final between Tottenham and Liverpool in a world first.

I'm not going to do that either mate, you keep being deluded.

>Buttland

Jed Steer when?

Yes, keep being deluded despite practically all your transfer fees being public.

Not him, but what point are you trying to prove? Newcastle have the 15th highest spend over the last 5 seasons and finished 13th. Gross is irrelevant because that doesn't determine how much the owner has given to that amount, and that's important because that's what your argument is, that's why we use net.
If you buy a player for say £1m, sell him for £20m, and then reinvest that £20m, the £20m hasn't came from the owner, it's came from the player sale. Hence why we have to use net for your argument.
So who did Newcastle outspend? Four clubs who were in the Championship for several of the past five seasons (that means they generally don't spend as much as PL clubs), a club who are the definition of a selling club, a club who've never spent big, and Watford.
In other words, Newcastle fans should be happy about outspending Championship sides and Tottenham, and should be over the moon that their owner is so generous by giving them nothing other than (most) of what they can generate from player sales? I think I get what you're trying to say, it doesn't make any sense because you weren't comparing it against anything, but I think I get it. I just want you to run the whole net and gross thing by me again so I make sure you understand the difference between what a club has to spend and what the owner GIVES the club to spend. I'll give you 5 bonus points if you can do it without using semantics.

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in the last 4 years newcastle have spent £248 mil
and in that time they have received £152 mil

for a total >net spend of £96 mil
>based rafa

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Typical entitled geordies expecting to outspend the titans of Bournemouth and Brighton

>netspend

Justnoncethings

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based moh

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Depending on the paper you consult it seems that a) Sarri is keeping the confidence of the Chelsea hierarchy b) Sarri is going to get SACKED by Chelsea c) Juventus are going to buy Sarri for 5m and he's already making decisions for juventus regarding their squad

I'm thinking Nami Hoshino.

As in, the outside of a potato? How is that any more difficult for a sewer to process than a turd is?

Sure he must be rushed off his feet

>le german posting obscure porn gimmick
Still undecided on wether I rate it or not

w-where

>obscure

wew

Can someone explain how chicken and chip shops in England make money when they sell all their food for dirt cheap?

Money laundering for the Paki rape gangs

It's horrific quality and they employ family members

For like a few quid an hour each too.

All a front for child prostitution ring

Morleys is pretty good tbf

I would by my mother everything she wants. I wish my grandmother was still alive so I could buy her everything as well.

Your love.

$1m really isn't that much these days, I'd buy a nice flat in central London to rent out and then spend the rest on frivalous stuff because it'd probably only be like £100k left

Loads of 20k flats in Scotland so I can become a slumlord and rent them out to pakis for 300 quid a month

Buy 2 or 3 houses in some developing area in Ontario or BC, once I sort it all out I'd rent them out and then just fuck off travelling for a few years. After I come back I'd just do drugs every day, preferably coke, until I die.

Two flats, one kinda small sized in Paris 5e (500k) and a bigger one near Paris (400k) so the price doubles when le Grand Paris happens.
I'd then pay nice holidays to my mother, brother, me and my wife.

1 million cucknada dollars is like 600k euros m8

Put it in the bank and retire.

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Just got back from kinoplex. It's a genuinely hilarious flick, if a little too woke for my tastes

>retiring with a million
Unless you're 50 and live on 30k a year, you'd be fucked after 20-30 years

>Everton

That cunt True Geordie has been moaning forever about Man City and I bet he won’t say a word after Newcastle get taken over.

The redpilled option. Use interest payments to live on.

looks like utter wank for 17 year old femcels

Based femcel poster

why is pharmacology so hard bros

They won't get taken over. Ashley has pulled the same shit for 3 seasons in a row now

It's a tough pill to swallow

Isn't that the easiest field in the medical world?

Theyre like slavs but native

Vermin that deserves to be exterminated

Easter road stadium

The night brims with defiled scum,
and is permeated by their rotten stench.
Just think, now you're all set to hunt and kill to your heart's content!

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Based and Valtrpilled

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>spending like a twat

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>30k a year is spending like a year
Not everyone lives off 1 pot noodle and a can of coke a day and never goes outside or does anything but sit on a computer, you twink

I'm really happy someone understood my post

a house? 1m isn’t that much

god that looks so stupid

Just beat Gascgoine la

Have you heard of talksport singles, fella?

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just what was needed to liven this thread up tonight

>Tottenham defender Kieran Trippier has been left out of England's 23-man squad for the Nations League finals, but captain Harry Kane has been included after an ankle injury.

>Spain defender Sergio Ramos, 33, has asked Real Madrid president Florentino Perez to let him leave the club for China. (LaSexta - in Spanish)

Chelsea boss Maurizio Sarri has agreed terms with Juventus which would earn him a £1.2m-a-year pay rise. (Mail)

>Belgium manager Roberto Martinez is the first option to be Barcelona boss if Ernesto Valverde does not continue. (RAC 1 - in Spanish)

Netherlands manager Ronald Koeman, former Juventus boss Massimiliano Allegri and Arsenal manager Unai Emery are among the replacements being considered by for Barcelona boss Valverde. (Mundo Deportivo - in Spanish)

>Juventus' 25-year-old Argentina forward Paulo Dybala has confirmed he wants to remain with the Serie A champions next season, despite being linked with a move to Manchester United. (Independent)

Arsenal have made contact with AC Milan over the transfer of 20-year-old Italy goalkeeper Gianluigi Donnarumma. (Tutto Mercato Web via Star)

>Real Madrid must pay Paris St-Germain's 27-year-old Brazil forward Neymar £1.2m a week in order to take him to the Bernabeu. (AS via Mail)

Real Madrid need to raise 300m euros in player sales this summer. (Marca)

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>Eintracht Frankfurt's Serbia striker Luka Jovic, 21, believes the Premier League or Serie A would be a suitable destination for him as he considers his next move. (Die Welt via Mirror)

Manchester United and Real Madrid could challenge Tottenham for Real Betis' Argentina midfielder Giovani lo Celso, 23, this summer. (Mail)

>Manchester City are also monitoring Lo Celso. (Manchester Evening News)

Ajax's Netherlands defender Matthijs de Ligt, 19, says reports linking him with a summer move to Manchester United should be taken with a "pinch of salt". (Fox Sports)

>West Ham have had an £18m bid for Portugal midfielder Andre Gomes, 25, rejected by Barcelona. The Spanish side want between £25m and £35m for Gomes, who spent last season on loan at Everton. (Sky Sports)

Swansea City are resigned to losing Wales winger Daniel James, 21, to Manchester United for £15m. (Manchester Evening News)

>Lyon's 20-year-old French midfielder Houssem Aouar, who has also been monitored by Liverpool, would be keen to play under manager Pep Guardiola at Manchester City. (Mirror)

Germany legend Lothar Matthaus is "sure" Manchester City's Germany winger Leroy Sane, 23, will join Bayern Munich this summer. (Sky Sports - in German)

>Former Chelsea and Tottenham boss Andre Villas-Boas has agreed a deal to manage Marseille. (France Football - in French)

Bayern Munich president Uli Hoeness has told 30-year-old Germany defender Jerome Boateng that his best option would be to leave the club. (ESPN)

>Burnley manager Sean Dyche says he is under no pressure to sell any of his players this summer. (Lancashire Telegraph)

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>Real Madrid need to raise 300m euros in player sales this summer. (Marca)
I told that lad yesterday that Madrid wasn't going to be buying Mbappe and Neymar because they needed to sell €300m.

He had 2 good matches all season.
Amazing considering his form of last season.

>Arsenal have made contact with AC Milan over the transfer of 20-year-old Italy goalkeeper Gianluigi Donnarumma
Who the fuck writes this shit? Donnarumma will cost £80m easily. That's double Arses budget and 80% of it if they somehow luck their way to a EL win.

It's not even the initial cost of Donnarumma, he's literally the 2nd best paid gk in the world

Exactly. Who the fuck writes this shit? I hate it. If it was City or United I could see it.

That greedy mercenary is probably trying to get a raise or start rumours so he can fuck off to a bigger club. Agents and players start this shit themselves to get interest in them

Might as well say he was contacted by F.C. United, both are just as believable. All the journos have done this, linking half a dozen fucking GK to Arse when they have plenty of GK's.

Rumours by club (that I collected so far)

Arsenal: In: Kannemann, N. Pepe, Ziyech, Claude-Maurice, Manolas, Suso, Nicolas Tagliafico, Chilwell, Tielemans, Hermoso, M.

Schubert, J. Rodriguez, R. Fraser, Danny Loader, Cengiz Under, Malcom, Bailly, Navas, Neto, Saliba, Zaha, Umtiti, T. Partey,

Rabiot, Donnarumma, Sanchez, Havertz, Boateng, Schubert
Out: Mustafi, Lacazette, Mkhitaryan

Chelsea*: In: Nicolas Pepe, David Neres, Zaha, Aaron Wan-Bissaka, Marega, Quetglas
Out: Kante, Moses, Jorginho, Kovacic, Alonso
*transfer ban may be frozen

Liverpool: In: Sebastiano Esposito, de Ligt, Cardoso, Suso, Pepe Reina, F. Anderson, Ojrzynski, Leif Davis, J. Rodriguez,

Chukwueze, Kruse, Werner, D. Llorente, Depay, Fekir, Ramos, Havertz, Marshall, Cornet, Bergwijn, B. Fernandes, Pedro
Out: Lallana, Migolet, Wilson, Camacho, Shaqiri, Sturridge, Clyne, Milner

Manchester City: In: João Felix, Sebastiano Esposito, Rodri, Joao Cancelo, Maguire, E. Elmas, Isco, Lallana, Fekir, Aouar,

Aribo, Chillwell
Out: G. Jesus, Delph, Sane, P. Roberts

Manchester United: In: Andre Onana, Sessegnon, de Ligt, Bale, Ziyech, Pedro, K. Strootman, Donnarumma, Daniel James, Dybala,

Longstaff, Rakitic, Wan-Bissaka, J. Rodriguez, Perisic, D. Hoogewerf, Rabiot, Alderweireld, D. James, N. Collins, B.Godfrey,

Quetglas, Cillessen, Milinkovic-Savic, Isco, Koulibaly, E. Elmas, Gueye, M. Dembele, Firpo, T. Partey, Grealish, Ramos,

Richarlison, Griezmann, Sandro, Fernandes, Boateng, Lo Celso
Out: De Gea, Pogba, Darmian, Lukaku, Mata, Rojo

Tottenham Spurs: In: de Ligt, Sessegnon, Jota, Ndombele, Suso, J. Clarke, D. Ceballos, M. Gomez, Asensio, Cengiz Under, Bale,

Malcom, Bailly, E. Elmas, Lo Celso, Wilson, D. Brooks
Out: Erikson, Trippier, Sissoko

Rumours by club (that I collected so far)

Arsenal: In: Kannemann, N. Pepe, Ziyech, Claude-Maurice, Manolas, Suso, Nicolas Tagliafico, Chilwell, Tielemans, Hermoso, M. Schubert, J. Rodriguez, R. Fraser, Danny Loader, Cengiz Under, Malcom, Bailly, Navas, Neto, Saliba, Zaha, Umtiti, T. Partey, Rabiot, Donnarumma, Sanchez, Havertz, Boateng, Schubert
Out: Mustafi, Lacazette, Mkhitaryan

Chelsea*: In: Nicolas Pepe, David Neres, Zaha, Aaron Wan-Bissaka, Marega, Quetglas
Out: Kante, Moses, Jorginho, Kovacic, Alonso
*transfer ban may be frozen

Liverpool: In: Sebastiano Esposito, de Ligt, Cardoso, Suso, Pepe Reina, F. Anderson, Ojrzynski, Leif Davis, J. Rodriguez, Chukwueze, Kruse, Werner, D. Llorente, Depay, Fekir, Ramos, Havertz, Marshall, Cornet, Bergwijn, B. Fernandes, Pedro
Out: Lallana, Migolet, Wilson, Camacho, Shaqiri, Sturridge, Clyne, Milner

Manchester City: In: João Felix, Sebastiano Esposito, Rodri, Joao Cancelo, Maguire, E. Elmas, Isco, Lallana, Fekir, Aouar, Aribo, Chillwell
Out: G. Jesus, Delph, Sane, P. Roberts

Manchester United: In: Andre Onana, Sessegnon, de Ligt, Bale, Ziyech, Pedro, K. Strootman, Donnarumma, Daniel James, Dybala, Longstaff, Rakitic, Wan-Bissaka, J. Rodriguez, Perisic, D. Hoogewerf, Rabiot, Alderweireld, D. James, N. Collins, B.Godfrey,

Quetglas, Cillessen, Milinkovic-Savic, Isco, Koulibaly, E. Elmas, Gueye, M. Dembele, Firpo, T. Partey, Grealish, Ramos, Richarlison, Griezmann, Sandro, Fernandes, Boateng, Lo Celso
Out: De Gea, Pogba, Darmian, Lukaku, Mata, Rojo

Tottenham Spurs: In: de Ligt, Sessegnon, Jota, Ndombele, Suso, J. Clarke, D. Ceballos, M. Gomez, Asensio, Cengiz Under, Bale, Malcom, Bailly, E. Elmas, Lo Celso, Wilson, D. Brooks
Out: Erikson, Trippier, Sissoko

Chelsea are going to buy Kovacic for 35M, hopefully they can sell Barkley.

stop saying Chelsea are buying anyone when they have a fucking transfer ban

Always liked carvahal did well with that Swansea side. Good to see him get another go

The reason is because they may attempt to freeze it. They're waiting for EL to be over so they can sack Sarri and then will freeze it for their new manager. Also everything in has, at one point, been mentioned as a possible transfer by somebody in the media.

Acquire coitus

To Barcelona?

I think...

Attached: 1556813508357.jpg (1620x1080, 112K)

Olympiakos signed Valbuena.

Robinho is still playing somewhere in Turkey.

Will be even weirder than him getting the Belgium job.

...

>so they can sack Sarri
What for when he's already moving to Juventus anyway.

Explain the poor "punishment" barcelona received for the mistreatment of the spurs fans at the barca group stage game this season then.

Also poch touchline ban for the slightly late start in the ajax fixture

Man, I don't like UEFA holding managers responsible for late starts regardless of circumstances. Some referee could just deliberately delay the match and get the managers on both sides in trouble.