/trans/ - haha edition

Just because your name is Everton doesn't mean they're going to sign you

DO NOT

CHAT

TO

ME

Arsenal hired a guy named Arsene as their manager, so it worked for them

The club was named after him though, that's different

Then Everton should just rename themselves Everton in honor of him

>Jay
It's G

Who's going to save Sunderland lads

No one, they're never getting back into the PL now

nobody can, it's cursed
they'll spunk some more money on memes and then lose the playoffs again next season

>edition in the title still
Not liking this.

Jovic

Attached: 1556917083791.png (663x801, 938K)

Might get rimmed tonight lads

>Saido Berahino has been sacked by Stoke City, Sky Sports News understands.
>He has three years left on a contract which runs until 2022, but Stoke have told Berahino his contract is being terminated.
>skysports.com/football/news/11701/11728924/stoke-sack-saido-berahino

Who wants to bet on his next club?

leave the dog alone

Imagine actually fucking her face haha, that would be so weird! :)

Sunderland

Member when he was hyped up?

thank you, rarebasedswag tumblr

West Brom

kek

Attached: josh.jpg (640x480, 42K)

>gf wants me to be like liverpool when we have sex
>ask what she means
>says can you stay on top for ages and then come second

haha that'd be super gay, I definitely wouldn't want that haha

Hoeness wants Boateng out.

What about a swap with Ramos?

Go back to LadBible faggot

How many days are we into the window and how many actual quality signings by 'top' teams have been made? None. That's what. Sadness consumes me.

Attached: 1558892888060.jpg (577x768, 116K)

Attached: 1499441135280.png (228x204, 120K)

Everton signed Lossl

Everyone's saving their money for Grealish in case Villa lose tomorrow.

I went to the library today to pick up a book I ordered on the history of The Hillsbrough Disaster, when I asked the Librarian she said she didn't have any record of it. I demanded to know why and she said "It's not our fault", "Yes, that's the one I ordered" I replied.

that doesn't even make sense

based

Brandt for 25m will probably be the bargain of the window

Give it at least another week friendo

youtube.com/watch?v=qO5yMXShggk
Comfy evening listening before having to get up at 4am

I don't get it

Attached: 1454584020510.jpg (1200x675, 121K)

>Henchoz is Sion's new manager
Well that was predictable as hell

>I don't get it
Get out of /trans/. Right now. Not even memeing. Out. Now.

no lol

Attached: 1373597864427.jpg (320x309, 19K)

Dortmund made moves for Brandt and T Hazard.

YOU ASKED FOR IT.

Attached: Slappu The Apu.gif (767x680, 2.76M)

Not even any spicy rumors desu

Just Griezmann and De Ligt using United to get big contracts from Barca

>say top teams
>you mention Dortmund

Attached: fed up pepe looking away.png (402x398, 126K)

>Matthijs de Ligt:"We've still two games to play in the Nations League, after that I'm going on holiday where I will decide what happens next" (Talking about Man United/ Barca transfer saga)

Is this the worst and most boring summer yet? Literally no interesting sports to watch
>cricket
>women's football

Attached: 1332369234580.jpg (500x628, 85K)

Sneijder to United

Cricket is fun to have on in the background lad. But you're missing
>Nations League
>Gold Cup
>French Open
>Copa America

Oh fuck I fell asleep for a bit. I'll just dump what I have.

Moise Kean has reportedly agreed a new contract with Juventus until June 2024 that will quadruple his salary.

>FC Barcleona Club President Josep Bartomeu has once again moved to back manager Ernesto Valverde.

Eintracht Frankfurt forward Luka Jovic believes that Italian or English football is the ideal future environment for him.

>Celta Vigo are set to raid relegated Girona for striker Portu according to reports in Catalan newspaper Diario Sport this weekend.

Liverpool midfielder James Milner has revealed that FC Barcelona skipper Lionel Messi called him a 'donkey' during their Champions League clash on May 1st.

>Everton, Crystal Palace & Newcastle United are interested in OGC Nice winger Allan Saint-Maximin, according to Nice-Matin.

Brentford have agreed a £2.8m deal with Fiorentina to sign Danish midfielder Christian Norgaard.

>Charlton owner Roland Duchatelet is keen on finding a buyer for the now Championship club but Lee Bowyer expects talks to step up a notch in the coming weeks.

The Premier League seems to be the most likely destination for Bayern Munich midfielder James Rodriguez, says Mundo Deportivo.

>Bayern president Uli Hoeness has advised Jerome Boateng to leave the club and take on a new challenge.

Liverpool are not planning to make a summer move for Lyon forward Memphis Depay, Sky Sports News understands.

>Thomas Tuchel says he cannot guarantee Neymar and Kylian Mbappe will be at Paris Saint-Germain next season - although he wants them to stay.

Saido Berahino has been sacked by Stoke City, Sky Sports News understands.

>Marcos Rojo has confirmed he wants to stay at Manchester United and believes he is in Ole Gunnar Solskjaer's plans, despite holding recent discussions with Boca Juniors.

Leeds owner Andrea Radrizzani is planning for next season amid reports he may sell a stake to Qatar Sports Investments, Sky Sports News understands.

Gentle reminder

Attached: uefanationsleague0312[1].jpg (2461x1641, 457K)

>Man Utd have ruled out a move for Ajax defender Matthijs de Ligt, according to Sky sources.

Andre Gomes could be one of the players to leave Barcelona, and The Times reports today that West Ham have offered the club £18m for the midfielder, who spent last season on loan at Everton.

>Barcelona president Josep Bartomeu has confirmed the club is working on departures from the Nou Camp as well as incoming transfers.

Joao Felix says he is happy at Benfica amid speculation of a summer move to Manchester City.

>Manchester United and Arsenal have been alerted to Atletico Madrid star Thomas Partey's £43.5m release clause.

Neil Lennon says he hopes to bring success to Celtic "going forward" after being offered the permanent manager's role.

>Oldham defender George Edmundson handed in a transfer request on Saturday, following a failed bid from Rangers, Sky Sports News understands.

Juventus are prepared to offer Paulo Dybala and Alex Sandro in exchange for Manchester United midfielder Paul Pogba, claims the Sunday Express.

>Multiple sources maintain Maurizio Sarri is likely to join Juventus and Fali Ramadani will help negotiate his release from Chelsea.

Dries Mertens shrugged off transfer speculation after scoring in a 3-2 loss to Bologna. “I don’t think that was my last game with Napoli.”

>Borussia Dortmund director Hans-Joachim Watzke hinted they are interested in Mario Mandzukic. “At the moment he’s at Juventus…”

Ex-Arsenal & Bordeaux striker Marouane Chamakh has announced his retirement from football at the age of 35 - tells BeIN Sports he intends to become a manager.

>Lille have transmitted a provisional contract offer to Watford winger Dodi Lukebakio, face competition from a pair of Bundesliga sides

L'Équipe tomorrow call Tanguy Ndombele's departure from Lyon "certain" and Nabil Fékir's & Ferland Mendy's "probable".

>Tottenham are eyeing an £80m double swoop for Bournemouth's Callum Wilson and David Brooks, reports the Sun.

Liverpool are open to selling Xherdan Shaqiri and replacing him with Villarreal's Samuel Chukwueze, says the Star.

>Chelsea boss Maurizio Sarri is the favourite to become the new manager at Juventus, reports Tuttosport.

Arsenal face competition from Manchester United to sign PSG midfielder Adrien Rabiot, according to reports in the Sun.

>Sergio Ramos could leave Real Madrid this summer after he is believed to have fallen out with Florentino Perez following their defeat to Ajax in the Champions League, says Marca.
>Manchester United have enquired as to his availability as they continue to search for a centre back.
>If Ramos leaves the Bernabeu, Liverpool defender Virgil van Dijk is the first defender on Madrid’s list to replace the Spaniard. Kalidou Koulibaly, Matthijs de Ligt and Jose Maria Gimenez are also on their radar, reports AS.

James Wilson will leave Manchester United this summer at the end of his contract, according to the Mirror.

>Napoli have been given the green light to begin negotiations over the signing of €30m-rated Tottenham right-back Kieran Trippier, according to Gazzetta dello Sport.

Although he already announced he was leaving Roma at the end of the season, midfielder Daniele De Rossi is considering retirement rather than moving to a new club, Corriere dello Sport.

>Ipswich Town have agreed to sign goalkeeper Tomas Holy when his contract expires with Gillingham next month.

Radamel Falcao has played his last game for Monaco, according to L'Equipe.

>Former St Johnstone and Brechin City winger Craig Thomson has agreed terms on a deal to join Airdrieonians.

Thomas Tuchel has signed a contract extension with Paris Saint-Germain that will keep him at the club until 2021.

>Chelsea want £130m for Eden Hazard, Sky Sports News understands.

What qualifies a team as 'top'?

>tennis
>whatever the fuck the gold cup is
>south american football

Attached: 1469996455305.jpg (770x533, 48K)

Didn't read lol

Manchester United have reportedly offered Ajax captain Matthijs de Ligt a £12.3m-a-year deal in an attempt to snare him away from Holland, according to The Sun.
Barcelona are also said to be interested in the 19-year-old, but will not be drawn into a 'wage war'.

>Arsenal are keeping tabs of Samuel Umtiti's situation at Barcelona, as they look to strengthen their defence this summer, according to the Mirror.

Leeds will make a decision on Marcelo Bielsa's future "in the next few days" with their option to extend his contract expiring next week, says owner Andrea Radrizzani.

>Manchester City are planning to hold talks with the representatives of winger Leroy Sane in the coming days in the hope of securing him to a new contract, Sky Sports News understands.

Everton are demanding at least £100m for Richarlison, with Manchester United and Barcelona eyeing a shock move this summer, according to The Sun.

>Manchester United have made contact over a summer move for Atletico Madrid's Antoine Griezmann, according to the Mail.

Nick Pope has put pen to paper on a four-year contract with Burnley to commit his future to the Clarets.

>Real Madrid will make a new bid for Eden Hazard after the Europa League final, but do not expect Chelsea to do the Belgian any special favours for winning the trophy. (Daily Telegraph)

Well I gave you Nations League then.

Real Madrid's hopes of signing long-term transfer target Kylian Mbappe have been given a boost. Paris Saint-Germain coach Thomas Tuchel extended his contract with the French champions on Saturday and will now enjoy greater authority. The German has refused to rule out the sale of Mbappe, which is encouraging news for Los Blancos, who would likely need to make a world-record offer to secure the World Cup winner's services. (AS)

>The Premier League seems to be the most likely destination for Bayern Munich midfielder James Rodriguez. The Colombia international's loan spell in Germany is set to come to an end and the Bundesliga champions appear unlikely to trigger a £37m option to buy the 27-year-old. Rodriguez knows that his chances of playing at parent club Real Madrid are slim under Zinedine Zidane, and so a move to one of Liverpool, Arsenal or Manchester United is on the cards. (Mundo Deportivo)

Real Madrid are reluctant to loan any players in this window and would rather sell unwanted members of their squad. The Spanish giants had 11 players out on loan in the 2018/19 season, all of which are set to return, and will look to sell them in order to fund Zidane's rebuilding project after a disappointing season which saw Los Blancos lose 12 times in La Liga. (AS)

>Juventus are willing to sell Joao Cancelo this summer, with Manchester City and Manchester United ready to do battle for the Portuguese right-back's signature. The 24-year-old only arrived in Turin last summer from Valencia, but could be the subject of a bidding war between the Manchester clubs, with Premier League champions City emerging as the favourites. (Tuttosport)

Manchester United striker Romelu Lukaku is a key transfer target for Inter this summer. The 26-year-old will only move to Italy if the Red Devils agree to a prospective swap deal which would see Croatian winger Ivan Perisic depart for Old Trafford. (Calciomercato)

I honestly don't expect anyone to.

By the way. De Ligt has yet to decide where to move to.
twitter.com/ESPNFC/status/1132642858530484224
Anyway, continuing.

>Juventus coach Massimiliano Allegri has emerged as a target for AC Milan. The 51-year-old will leave Turin this summer after winning 11 trophies in five years and Milan chief executive Ivan Gazidis has contacted Allegri to see if he would be open to a return to San Siro. (Tuttomercatoweb)

Real Madrid have made a £79m bid for in-demand Napoli centre-back Kalidou Koulibaly. The 27-year-old has been heavily linked with a move to Manchester United but is seen as the perfect replacement for Sergio Ramos, who could be on his way out of the Spanish club. (Corriere dello Sport)

>Juventus forward Mario Mandzukic could sign for Borussia Dortmund after the Old Lady announced that coach Allegri would be leaving the club. Dortmund director Hans-Joachim Watzke has refused to dismiss speculation surrounding the German club's interest in the Croatia international: "At the moment he's at Juventus, but you can't rule anything out in football," he said. "I know Mario is a forward who always wants to play." (Bild)

Lyon midfielder Nabil Fekir could leave the French club in this summer's transfer window. Club president Jean-Michel Aulas has given the 25-year-old permission to depart after his move to Liverpool fell through last year. (L'Equipe)

>>Borussia Dortmund director Hans-Joachim Watzke hinted they are interested in Mario Mandzukic. “At the moment he’s at Juventus…”

Based Džu.

>Sunderland should have new investment in place within days if they are promoted to the Championship.

Attached: 1341753729329448.png (268x268, 25K)

De gea
Marcelo ramos deligt shaw
Pogba matic mctominay
Bale rashford sachez

(I forgot to finish filtering news. Oops.)

>Daily Mail
Sir Alex Ferguson is being sidelined by Manchester United and feels hurt and isolated.
>Manchester United and Arsenal have been alerted to Atletico Madrid star Thomas Partey's £43.5m release clause.
Benfica say they will not sell Joao Felix for anything less than his £105m release clause this summer.

>Sunday Mirror
Manchester United are turning to Benfica defender Ruben Dias after Napoli slapped a £150m price-tag on Kalidou Koulibaly.
>Manchester United have launched a £70m bid for Ajax's brilliant young captain Matthijs de Ligt.
Liverpool and Spurs' England stars have gone radio silent - until after the Champions League final.
>Liverpool will not be signing Sergio Ramos contrary to reports - but not because of Mo Salah.
Tottenham have been told to pay £20m for Leeds midfielder Jack Clarke.
>Real Betis are set to turn their attentions to Thierry Henry with Rafa Benitez ready to snub them.

>The Sun On Sunday
David Silva could have played his last game for Manchester City after being tempted by a £12m tax-free retirement jackpot for a club in Qatar.
>Ole Gunnar Solskjaer will welcome Manchester United's stumbling stars back to training with the message: It's fit or bust.
Premier League rivals Manchester City and Liverpool have been put on red alert after long-term target Nabil Fekir was told he can leave Lyon.
>Dennis Wise has backed John Terry - not Frank Lampard - for the Chelsea manager's job.
Danny Welbeck could move to Lazio to get over his Premier League blues.
>Bournemouth boss Eddie Howe may pounce for Swansea right-back Connor Roberts.
Derby will have first go at signing Harry Wilson on loan from Liverpool next season if they win the play-off final.
>Liverpool winger Ryan Kent will get a move to Aston Villa whether they go up to the Premier League or not.

>gets gifted with bizarre own goal
>fucks it up anyway
Fucking BLUNDERLAND.

>Sunday Telegraph
Sunderland should have new investment in place within days if they are promoted to the Championship.
>New Scotland boss Steve Clarke has assembled a team of informal but high-calibre advisors.

>Evening Standard
Everton are favourites to sign Arsenal striker Danny Welbeck on a free transfer this summer. Welbeck would prefer to stay in England and several Premier League clubs have expressed an interest, including West Ham, Newcastle, Crystal Palace and Wolves.
>Napoli are hopeful of completing the signing of Tottenham's Kieran Trippier for £22m after the Champions League Final.

>Manchester Evening News
Manchester United goalkeeper Dean Henderson still expects to return to Sheffield United on loan next year after talks with Ole Gunnar Solskjaer.
>Manchester City are braced for another summer of heavy spending as Pep Guardiola looks to improve his squad for next season.
Having missed out on Jorginho, the need for a Fernandinho successor is even greater 12 months on and Atletico's Rodri is the preferred option. The 22-year-old midfielder has a buyout clause of £60m.

>Liverpool Echo
Liverpool manager Jurgen Klopp has revealed what new signings can expect if they move to Liverpool this summer: "When a new player is coming in, I don't give them any information. I let them play, I learn about what is good naturally and what we want to adjust," he said.
>Manchester United have been put off by Everton's valuation of Idrissa Gueye. United are admirers of the midfielder but are reluctant to pay upwards of £35m for the 29-year-old.

>Newcastle Chronicle
Newcastle United midfielder Isaac Hayden is attracting interest from West Ham - who are also long-term admirers of his Magpies team-mate Jonjo Shelvey.

>Real Betis are set to turn their attentions to Thierry Henry
Do they want to get relegated?

>Birmingham Mail
Benfica have warned Joao Felix's suitors they will have to pay the wonderkid's full release clause to sign him this summer.
>Wolverhampton Wanderers are among a host of Premier League sides said to be interested in the 19-year-old attacker, who shone as Benfica won the Primeira Liga title.

>Express And Star
West Brom owner Guochuan Lai owes the club £4.1m because of a loan he inherited during the takeover. When Lai bought an 88 per cent majority stake off Jeremy Peace for £200m in 2016, he inherited a £3.7m loan the holding company owed the football club. It has since accrued interest and is now a debt of £4.1m.

>Leicester Mercury
Leicester City are not trying to sign Bayern Munich winger Arjen Robben. City have been linked with the 35-year-old after rumours started on social media that manager Brendan Rodgers, who knows the winger from his time as a coach when Robben was at Chelsea, was plotting a move to bolster his attacking options.

>Yorkshire Evening Post
Leeds are braced for a bid from Tottenham for Jack Clarke amid strong interest in the winger from the Champions League finalists. They have yet to receive an official offer from Spurs but the Premier League club are targeting the 18-year-old's signature after his breakthrough season at Elland Road.

>Lancashire Telegraph
Blackburn manager Tony Mowbray says Rovers will have to be 'cleverer and cuter' than their Championship rivals in the summer transfer window. Mowbray returns from India on Saturday after his week-long meetings with the Rovers owners to discuss the budget for next season.

>Barnsley Chronicle
Barnsley appear resigned to their fate where goalkeeper and captain Adam Davies is concerned. The 26 year-old Wales international has been linked with Stoke for several weeks now and it appears to be a case of when, not if, he moves to the Potteries.

>Bristol Post
Kenny Jackett says Portsmouth are not one of the clubs interested in Bristol City striker Mo Eisa.

>FC Barcleona Club President Josep Bartomeu has once again moved to back manager Ernesto Valverde

Good. It was Messi fault they underperformed

>Edinburgh Evening News
Hibs hopes of enticing Marc McNulty back to Easter Road have been boosted as Reading boss Jose Gomes revealed he needs to slash the wage bill by moving players on.

And that's it. I hope this is the last time I compile news from Sky Sports.

What do you mean, you've never heard of the Gold Cup? Why, it's only the highest quality football tournament north of the Americas! Witness the beautiful game be butchered by CONCACAF's unique brand of murderball, refball, and the likes! Watch as North American powerhouses such as Mexico's C team, MLS' American All-Stars, Trinity and Toboggan, and whatever the fuck a Curacao is! Please watch our continental competition!

Attached: 1499911846511.jpg (800x600, 310K)

>It was Messi
>last two games they lost he scored the only goals
???

Concaf is memes because of the shit meme teams you'd never watch at the world cup compete there/ Where else could I cheer on /our clay/ Bermuda?

Stop posting rumours

Daily reminder Deepfake AI has been improved so much it can now make still images turn into animated things.

Also, hope we're all cheering for Atlanta in Serie A? A win will put them into the CL for the first time ever.

Also hot take: /trans/ doesn't just deal with players. It also deals with managers and occasionally owners.

Based 'getting mad at rumours' poster. Glad I wasn't wrong to include you in the update.

Roma in top 4 pushes Spurs to pot 3 for the UCL group stage seeding

>Liverpool are open to selling Xherdan Shaqiri and replacing him with Villarreal's Samuel Chukwueze, says the Star.
That ngubu is very good, would be a great backup option for liverpool

>3 games
>all the countries playing in them are shite
I’ll pass

This is their debut Gold Cup, and they're in the easiest group (with Costa Rica, Haiti, and Nicaragua). They also have Nahki Wells in their preliminary roster, so who knows, maybe they can pull off a quarter final finish

>If Ramos leaves the Bernabeu, Liverpool defender Virgil van Dijk is the first defender on Madrid’s list to replace the Spaniard. Kalidou Koulibaly, Matthijs de Ligt and Jose Maria Gimenez are also on their radar, reports AS.

Would Virgil even leave or would Liverpool even consider selling? They could probably demand 150m and get it from Madrid to be fair

If Spuds win CL they'll be in pot 1.

>150m
Make that 200m

I'd rather Atlanta got into CL. Whomever wins this years CL is soul crushing for me so I do not care bout seedings.

>Also, hope we're all cheering for Atlanta in Serie A?
Of course, debutantes are always cool. Also I want to see Freuler go from completely average midfielder to starter for a CL team

VVD wouldn't leave Liverpool any time soon. Maybe if they dont win anything in 2 or 3 years he will probably look to move

Anything below 200mil is not realistic. I doubt they would sell though.

I want to see another Traore tier player play in the CL final and win the CL tbqh.

>if they dont win anything
>if

*Djimi Traore

I think they will win the CL final, as much as I would hate to see it. Spurs are just bigger bottlers than Liverpool are

Need more rumours

i'm pretty sure the woman in the couple that lives like two blocks from me is having an affair

Atlanta are losing 1-0
Milan are winning 2-1
Inter are 0-0

Unless it's with another woman I'm not interested

there's always the charity shield

it's not, but you did ask for rumours

Atalanta just equalised.

interesting...

Keep us updated

Attached: 1503076895715.jpg (734x1200, 71K)

Apparently Celtic's transfer business is being scuppered as agents advise their clients of the abuse allegations.

Rafa was approached and knocked it back on that judgement. Players thought he was a shoe in.

Puts our appalling business last summer in perspective and doesn't bode well for the future . Also might paint Brendan's departure in a different light.

Source: lewis morgan

Thanks for adding the police transfer to the sticky
top kek
bbc.co.uk/sport/football/48398624

Theme:
youtube.com/watch?v=AM3Z7WiWksU

Attached: Tosh Bill Dududud - Duh Pawawaawaowwawaow-wow.jpg (361x361, 28K)

Guys like you make me feel physically ill. Like I can actually feel my stomach turn.
You have a team that most people would like to end the game with, and you have it after a week.

People like you two (especially Steven F) are why video games are ruined by microtransactions. Because you love it. You've always sucked at everything competitive. You got your ass handed to you in gym class, you were the guy who went 1/18 in counter-strike and the nerds laughed at you when you tried your hand at chess.

Then one magical day, you woke up and saw it flashing on your screen. The pack. You watched in disbelief as it dawned on you. 'I... I can gain a competitive advantage by simply spending money?' you asked yourself as you began to laugh manically.

You quickly reached for your phone and dialed a number you hadn't used in a long, long time...
"Y-yeah hi mom. I need to borrow some cash.. It's for a business opportunity".
Your mom complied, finally her son had become a man.

Then, the opening began. One amazing player after another flashed before your eyes as you opened packs with incredible speed.

After your 5000 dollar team was done, you took a final look in the mirror and smiled to yourself.
At long last, your time had come.

Shitty and credible at the same time. This is what will happen.

If Stoke are buying a keeper, where's Butland going?

Rafa's prioritising renewing his contract at Newcastle anyway. He'll only move on if he can't.

>you now remember Russell Brand got his start on The Bill

Goodnight, my dudes

Guys like you make me feel physically ill. Like I can actually feel my stomach turn.
You have a team that most people would like to end the game with, and you have it after a week.

People like you two (especially Steven F) are why video games are ruined by microtransactions. Because you love it. You've always sucked at everything competitive. You got your ass handed to you in gym class, you were the guy who went 1/18 in counter-strike and the nerds laughed at you when you tried your hand at chess.

Then one magical day, you woke up and saw it flashing on your screen. The pack. You watched in disbelief as it dawned on you. 'I... I can gain a competitive advantage by simply spending money?' you asked yourself as you began to laugh manically.

You quickly reached for your phone and dialed a number you hadn't used in a long, long time...
"Y-yeah hi mom. I need to borrow some cash.. It's for a business opportunity".
Your mom complied, finally her son had become a man.

Then, the opening began. One amazing player after another flashed before your eyes as you opened packs with incredible speed.

After your 5000 dollar team was done, you took a final look in the mirror and smiled to yourself.
At long last, your time had come.

bank holiday mate why you goin to bed so early lol

>Match with girl on Tinder a few days ago
>First match in a year
>She instantly unmatches me
>Match with girl today
>Send her a message
>No response after 20 mins
I'm worried lads

Attached: 1552126980773.jpg (221x257, 43K)

bro you swipe everyday and get 1 match in a year? that's wild

Get off Tinder if you aren't atleast a 9/10

I saw a cute Mercy cosplayer on there the other day, I have to have hope

>to the sticky

delete Tinder lad

She unmatched

Attached: 1402149317510.jpg (599x370, 44K)

She obviously miswiped you, lad. Post your mug so we can laugh. Before you go 'b-b-but you're strangers online!' you're literally doing that on tinder.

Is it because the drunk driving is grounds for breach of contract? Otherwise you can't just terminate him

I'm never going to post my face on Yea Forums

The worst thing a girl on Tinder can do to you after seeing your face is swipe left. Yea Forums can do worse

what kind of pictures do you use? pls tell me you dont have close up selfies

I have, you're just a fucking pussy.

Pictures of me on holidays, thought it would make me look the adventurous type

bet you're not being yourself on there

not bad lad. whats your bio look like?

Yes, and he was arrested the night (early morning) before he was supposed to be playing in a U23 match, and going out 48 hours before a match is a breach of club rules. Not sure if it's the drinking or being out late which is the breach as nobody outside the club knows the exact terms of his contract, but Peter Coates and the bet365 lawyers apparently feel they have the grounds to void the contract and terminate. Berahino's also apparently got a history of being fined for loads of minor infractions at Stoke. I think Crouchy said that he'd just knowingly show up late and pay fines because he didn't give a shit and was on high wages.

not 9/10 thats overblowing it, but you better be average or above
if you've never gotten any luck outside then there's no point by trying tinder, it'll be worse

Don't have one because I couldn't come up with something that wasn't incredibly cringeworthy

liverpool!

Attached: OguraYuka171116_6108.jpg (533x800, 210K)

>he was arrested the night (early morning) before he was supposed to be playing in a U23 match, and going out 48 hours before a match is a breach of club rules.
Some footballers are absolute fucking retards, how they got to that level of profession without brain cells is beyond me.

anyone watching antiques roadshow?

i'd figure something out, like a shitty name pun for yourself or something that is self deprecating. girls dig that man.

Attached: image1.png (295x640, 872K)

>Liverpool appear interested in signing Jack Colback from Newcastle United. The Magpies are asking £25m for the former England international while Liverpool has proposed a £20m price.

The ginger Messi will be Milner's spiritual successor. It'd be great.

milner doesn't need succeeding yet, he's going to play til he's 45

Noted, here's hoping for better luck soon.

What's your bio?

Specifically, he was arrested in London at 3 am and had to be in Stoke-on-Trent for the match the following afternoon.

you got this brah

"looking to vent to someone about my fantasy football team"

Going to wembley tomorrow,. absolutely bricking it

Lo Celso to be announced by Tottenham the week after the CL final

why, you never been to london before?

Lost there last year and it felt horrible, don't want that to happen again

Derby fan?

who's going to the UCL from Italy at the moment??

I genuinely don't know if you're taking the piss

Juve, Napoli, Atalanta and Inter I think

>buy a player just to sell him on in the same window
At least they get a profit from it, I guess. Seems kind of like a small club mentality though.

Based Papu getting Atalanta onto a CL spot. Is there anything more fun than simultaneous matches with implications for both teams playing? The race for the EL spots in the Super League ended with places 3 to 6 only being separated on goal difference, and going into the last matchday everyone from 3rd to 8th place could have made it onto one of the EL qualification spots.

>The ginger Messi

WRONG, that was Adam Campbell. Colback was the ginger Pirlo. We have a better ginger Pirlo know though.

Berahino fell for his own hype though.

>Scored 14 goals in his best ever season when he was 21
>That was 4 seasons ago
>Since then he's scored 9 in 86, including a season in the Championship
>Overall record stands at 38 in 188

Something tells me he isn't going to make it. Remember when he threatened to quit WBA because, basically, they were beneath a player of his talent? Whole thing is a fucking shitshow and whoever said he'll be at Blunderland next season is right.

West brom could have got 25 mil for him

They should be kicking themselves

He will retired before 30.

AC about to finish above Inter

It's actually pretty sad because this is a story that happens a lot to young players: They spend their whole youth training to go pro so they don't really have key social skills, get a big contract when they're like 16 and start earning way more money than a 16 year old should, get an ego and start going on big nights out, wasting money on spending sprees once they get on the pro scene, and before they know it their career is over because they're washed up at 24.

Football agents are to blame because they let these kids feed into all those lies and their own hype, then demand they get paid more, so they themselves can get a pay day. Surely something will be done about agents soon.

Attached: 1401913513434.jpg (287x396, 21K)

Asking if you're a Villa fan would give me the same answer

HOWEVER

lmao who the fuck came up with that

what does roma winning mean

Juve
Napoli
Atalanta
Inter

As of now

I'd forgotten about that, who was it again? Tottenham? I remember when my club was linked with him around the time and people were saying we should spend £30m+ on him.

That definitely wouldn't surprise me either.

That's true desu. I know Andy Carroll and he was sort of like that when we were younger. He couldn't play football with us in case he got injured, people would dab on him constantly because he couldn't get into a fight in case he got injured (or Newcastle released him), he couldn't come out on weekends etc. Then he had made it and was known, and he didn't really have us anymore.
I remember one night he was sitting outside the Casino in town, on his own, crying, signing autographs and just giving random people £50 to play some casino games with.
I know people meme about him, and he's completely crocked now, and he got some good luck along the way, but he is, or was, honestly a really nice guy. He was more happy-go-lucky and just liked a laugh, he was more shy than anything else. All of that went out the window when he started to get media attention because I don't think he could cope with the celebrity. If he'd stayed at Newcastle I genuinely believe his career would have turned out much more different.
Totally agree about the agents though. We should have learned from that African player who played for about 14 clubs in 14 seasons, purely because his manager was using him. I can't remember his name, I think he signed for Villa in one of the seasons. Someone will know who I mean.
I noticed a while ago how, during the transfer window, it was more about how much was spent than who was brought in. Personally I'd rather have XI GOATs that were picked up on frees than 25 amateurs who cost £100m each because, if we're being honest, now more than ever do transfer fees fail to reflect on player ability.

This inter empoli game has been so good

Big if true.
I always defended him, saying he needed a coach that would give him love. Maybe if he went abroad? At a club like Marseille?

>I remember one night he was sitting outside the Casino in town, on his own, crying, signing autographs and just giving random people £50 to play some casino games with.

Fuck

Attached: 47d.jpg (437x431, 21K)

You have been visited by Smug Gasperini. Champions League Football will come to you but only if you say 'Stay Smug, Gasperini!'

Attached: c9108e29-247c-4dd5-85a5-5b86e1b9054f.jpg (624x416, 30K)

Carroll stayed with Kevin Nolan for a while iirc, he definitely needs a pal.

'Stay Smug, Gasperini!'

Attached: Thank you based Papu.webm (800x450, 2.55M)

Oh yeah I remember that. Didn't Carroll get in trouble for doing coke too? I remember his breakthrough season in 10/11 I think it was, thought he was amazing

Moustapha Salifou? Yacouba Sylla? Eric Djemba-Djemba?

Stay Smug, Gasperini.... please....meme magic... work....

Attached: bad situation at arsenal.jpg (1092x1037, 188K)

He was fantastic, because he used to attack the ball and meet crosses early. Ever since he left Newcastle teams have used him like he's Peter Crouch, hanging lifted balls up at the back post, but that was never his strength imo.
I'd have him back at Newcastle in a heartbeat.

I sign Andy Carroll in FM some times. He's always released at the end of the first season. Did it for my usual Oxford game (I had some world class regens due to a bug on Day 1 available to sign from free agent list) and in my 2nd season Carroll banged them in the Championship.

I don't think Liverpool slapping a £35 million pound price tag on him, which was a lot at the time, really helped him. They overpaid for him massively and therefore his expectations were way too high and he ended up a symbol of Liverpool's failure for that time. Imagine if Arsenal signed Longstaff for £50 million, that's basically what happened to Carroll.

>Rafa was approached and knocked it back on that judgement
Rafa could walk into a managerial job at any top European club, why the fuck would he go to Celtic
delusional to think that he would only knock back the Celtic job because his agent advised him not to because of abuse allegations or whatever you're saying
this rumor that has always been bullshit and was peddled solely by Craig Burley

>why the fuck would he go to Celtic
He's a masochist

>kante dead
Arsenal will win

Attached: Chihaya.jpg (500x489, 144K)

Time for Big Ross to shine

Attached: 1491055875170.jpg (709x765, 253K)

It's amazing how I keep forgetting that him and Pulishit exist

Attached: slut lab.jpg (723x691, 99K)

Gib Tammy

I'm not sure if you're being purposefully negative so you're not disappointed if, by some miracle, Arsenal win, or you actually think that Arsenal are good enough to beat Chelsea. If you say 'b-b-but they did in 2017 FA Cup' that's just silly. Come on LRL. Then again, it's been so long I forgotten what LRL stood for again. Also show bob and vagene pls.

Attached: Saber is Autistic.gif (346x480, 1.74M)

Surely you mean the secret weapon Danny Drinkwater

I actually think that Arsenal are good enough, as t hey actually beat Chelsea 2-0 this season.

Remember that Origi was Liverpool's hero.
Drinkwater will score a tap in and Alonso will score a blooter.

I'd be more shocked if Willian scored

Chelsea have been shit against Arsenal since Conte.

This game is going to be decided by what Hazard shows up.

Imagine campaigning as a brexit party member
>I don't want this job, please vote me into it

I am sure they will do everything in their power to lose their job once they are elected.

Hazard's already in Madrid drinking sangria before the new season starts in his mind

Except they have no power to do that because they aren't part of the UK Government so lack any votes for or against a deal

>being so simple minded and vulnerable to propaganda

Which is the big irony about the brexit party

Doesn't mean anything, really. It's Arsenal, who have conceded the most goals ever in the history of their PL existence. Who have an ex-Chelsea player in goal who is a Chelsea staff member. An Arsenal team who have been shit since Ramsey got injured. An Arsenal team with so many injuries (as per usual) that it doesn't matter, it's a predetermined result. Kosc wants to leave because the club wants to sell any player who has a year left. That leaves Mustafi as their only CB. Holding and the Greek dude are injured. They have Iwobi on the wing, with Mickytarian unable to travel. Torreria is either injured or banned iirc. Xhaka and Elnemy are shit. That leaves youths and Ozil. Not to mention their wing backs are some retard black dude and I dunno who else.

That's why I voted for them lmao. Clown world mate. Embrace it. Our country is shit, it'll never be relevant and we're being replaced by wogs anyway. So lets enjoy the memes. That means Boris Johnson as PM and Brexit Party in the EP.

That's not exactly true, they are all MP's. Or some of them are. I voted for them because the others couldn't do any better (I wasn't gonna vote for the British Socialist Party even for memes). I won't vote for Labour until Corbyn is gone. I won't vote for the Tories any more as their backstabbers. The rest are useless.

Arse beat Chelsea this season
both teams are shit though, think it's a toss-up

threatening to take large portions of the voting base will pressure the incumbent government into doing whatever

not him but i'm an arse fan and chelsea will beat us, arse are bottlers.

Odds on an october election? I imagine any hard liner brexit PM would want one, hoping to get a proper majority and able to do all their own plans

UKIP never had any direct power either, but they still got Cameron to promise the referendum because he was shitting himself about losing votes.
I imagine it's the same idea. Make the Tories too scared to can the whole thing like most of them would like to do.

I think it's more symbolic than anything else. They really want to send a message to the other parties with a huge win. From the way Farage is campaigning he seems like he wants more than to be an MEP

Hello where the FUCK are the transfers, thanks

Attached: spit.webm (1920x800, 3M)

>he seems like he wants more than to be an MEP
He does but he never gets elected as a proper MP, even back in 2015. His voting record shows he doesn't want to be an MEP either

I'd agree with you normally but injuries to Kante and RLC mean Chelsea will be playing with a crab-passing midfield of jorginho, barkeley and drinkwater or kovacic, while Harzard is busy thinking about ways to force his move through to madrid. Think even arse are 50-50 here

>That's why I voted for them lmao. Clown world mate. Embrace it.
you're a fucking moron lad. you're a child who thinks it doesn't matter cos there's nothing to lose when you still live with mum and dad.

UKIP transfer much of their squad to Brexit Party

I'm not sure about that, carnage + election and they could lose especially after doing worse in the last one when it was seen the time they called it as an easy win
I reckon Arse will beat Chelsea

>That's why I voted for them lmao. Clown world mate.
People voting like that caused all this shit
>lol, be a laugh for this vote, never going to happen
>oh shit it's happening

Rachel Weisz transferring spit to Rachel McAdam's mouth

my commision just arrived

Attached: 20190214_180237.jpg (4032x3024, 3.85M)

If you vote for the brexit party there's a high chance you've wired 500k to a Nigerian Prince before

Good level banter

twitter levels of banter tee be aitch

Likes on twitter are the new age currency

Speaking of which did anyone see Scheifer Bates trolling United fans by saying he had ITK intel that De Ligt was singing for united?

which club does your MEP support?

I live in Birmingham

So probably man united

Which MEP?

>he didn't see Barkley eviscerate Mont Negreo.
Don't think so lad. 2-0 win to Chelsea, maybe more with Arselels dead defence.

well one of them from your district

remember when Yea Forums was left wing and ironic racist instead of racist? no? then you're a newfag.

I've got 5 for my region. Trust a belgian to think up the most batshit insane method for working out an election

Imagine voting to ruin your economy lmao

Villa signed a player in Jan but loaned him out so he can try and keep his old club up, he's just posted this on twitter

Is this too soon considering the Sala thing or am I reading too much into it?

Attached: Screenshot_20190526-230219.png (1080x1587, 1.06M)

Left wing and pro-CP then it became right wing and anti-CP

Imagine unironically thinking Nigel Farage is a man of the people when he is a private jet flying elitist

proportional is used in most countries and is far more representative than single member districts

the cp was ironic except in germany, macedonia and russia lad. keep up.

Imagine letting muslim subhumans run amok scot-free in your country.

Imagine living in a favela and calling other people subhuman

It wasn't cp it was just banter

Mate he's claiming his luggage, he's arrived already

Don't forget Malaysia.

You know what I miss lads?

When Channel 4 and channel 4 showed late night baseball and south american football.

Fuck all on at this hour.

Would this hold up in court?

Twitter shows the results for "remainers" when you search for "milkshake" lmao

he literally lives in a £4m house, has children with german passports and no actual manifesto and pikeys still vote for him thinking he'll get rid of all the foreigns.

Only if you're white and rich

hate the slimy, snidey politicians more than the aggressive, shouty ones

You know when his kids got their German passports?

A day after Britain voted to leave

>anti-CP
user I hate to break it to you...

B-but he walks around with a pint

True, people like Messi and we all know he likes CP

FUCK OFF /britpol/ fuck off. This thread is for transfers and transfer related accessories.

>implying brexit won't affect transfers

Breaking News: I managed to get a bit of pork out of my back teeth. Still some left. I'll keep you posted.

>Man City chairman Khaldoon Al Mubarak says some rivals are 'jealous'

Haha. Yeah. Success. Not bought at all. Nuh-uh. Lets see Pep win a domestic treble with Bournemouth.

>speaking in welsh

fuck off

Lyndon Gooch, bruh......when he’s ready

>Lets see Pep win a domestic treble with Bournemouth.
Can you imagine this argument in any other profession?
>David M. Solomon, CEO of Goldman Sachs, what a fucking hack bro. Let's see him take over my local drug dealers accountacy books if he wants to prove himself the GOAT
People would tell you you're fucking stupid, rightfully. Good people end up in positions befitting their talent.

I love fucking /trans/ lads

>Good people end up in positions befitting their talent.
Pep literally started at Barca.

>Good people end up in positions befitting their talent
>Uses (((David M. Solomon))) as an example who attained his position based on good old fashioned (((nepotism)))

I understand you're point, and I'm on your side, but you really dropped the ball there senpai desu baka

Except Pep didn't start at the bottom you utter cunt, he started at Barcelona.

Would man city be as successful if they were managed by Steve Bruce?

Nobody said that Pep started at the bottom, just that the move that poster proposed encompassed someone at a top position deliberately moving to a worse position

>and I'm on your side
>ignoring the fact that Pep started at Barcelona and didn't have to work his way up
>cites the fact that his example literally involves somebody not working their way up as well
Well, by that logic, you're on the OTHER guys side.

no

Steve Bruce would have won the CL by now.

Yes, but that poster was referring to the comment that their owner said they're jealous of the domestic treble success. Pep winning it at a club that has had £1.5bn put into it by the owner since 2008 and has been successful with a string of other managers means that Pep having some amazing skills would be better tested at a less wealthy and pre-established successful club.

Neil Warnock would have won three successive trebles if he managed Man City

Depends on your definition of success. I'm sure Bruce could manage to not fuck up in a CL with such a stacked team but we'll never know.

Paul Lambert would have successive invincible seasons if he managed man city

Even Moyes could make a CL QF

Wait then aren't you the same as that Nigel fellow now?

>people memeing about other managers doing successful with City
>ignoring the fact that anybody... ANYBODY... can be successful if you're hands down the better team in the league
But no, the likes of Celtic being managed by Rodgers and Lennon and winning 3(THREE) trebles in the world takes some genius like Pep to do it!!!!

So, we all agree that Rodgers > Pep = Lennon, right?

Mick McCarthey would win the superb owl with man city

>mfw I've started another meme
I don't care if you stop now, even a few posts is enough for me to smile these days. Sadly it's a bit too similar to 'Everton could realistically win the league' which is my 2nd greatest creation on this board.

He started at Barcelona B

Do me a favour mate, can you nip down to my local chippy? They were out of salt last time I was there

Darren Moore would literally win every single match in the league if he managed man city

So, he started at Barcelona? Glad we can agree.

'Everton could realistically win the league' was created by Richard Keys you fraud

Attached: 1535210698876.jpg (1920x1152, 589K)

Still makes me smile seeing anyone calling EPL the Eritrean premier league

Um, sweety. Celtic have won three trebles in a row. Rodgers is a better manager than Pep. It's got nothing to do with City or Celtic being vastly superior to the other teams around them, oh no, it's all down to the genius indomitable, imperious, mastermind tactics of Pep and Rodgers! This is why Rodgers needs to manage City.

In 3 years at Man City with unlimited money to spend, Guardiola has gotten no further in the Champions League than Craig Shakespeare

Unless you're the delusional fan who invented it then you didn't invent it

And I know for a fact I put the post up that he replied to saying they could realistically win it so you're a complete liar

There's a very good reason people like him aren't employed by Man City. ABCs just don't want to admit hat Pep is elite

Christ mate I only wanted a little bit of salt, you've given me scarface cocaine amounts

B-but I did... I did first say 'Everton could realistically win the league' and then some Bradley Walsh poster kept replying to me for a day and I gave up...

>You now remember Leicester reached the CL quarter finals
It helped that they won the Group Stage lottery.

Proof or shut up.

You've missed the part where you kept posting rage reaction pictures saying "if Leicester can do it why can't we?"

Imagine being so buttblasted that Pep is a worse manager than fucking Brendan Rodgers.

And then beat Seville, the same team who beat Liverpool and Man United in recent seasons

the thing you have to love about football knockout competitions is you can have 100 times the wealth of your closest competitor, buy everyone you ever feel like buying, have every advantage going cos you're basically playing fm with every cheat going, and you still can't guarantee you'll win that trophy everyone considers you a bald fucking failure for not winning.

I did say once that if Leicester can do it, so can we. But I stopped after that day. Anything after that wasn't me. I was memeing anyway.

It's the scum, I know. But still

>Toon could be sold to a sheik for 350mil

thesun.co.uk/sport/football/9160258/newcastle-mike-ashley-sell-350million/amp/?__twitter_impression=true

At least Pep has stopped his pathetic coping and said that this team will be judged ultimately on CL success. I expect to see Man City do a lot better next season

Level of discourse here is fucking atrocious ngl

Hey I'm not discrediting the R16 win, just saying if they got Madrid or something in their group they would've had a harder time. Everton could've qualified from that group.

Protip: if you're short on cash and you hear the call for last orders, just hand them your drink with like a third or a quarter left, say "put a half in that" and pay for said half and in the 4 times I've tried this you'll get handed a full pint back.

>Chelsea manager Maurizio Sarri has agreed a deal to take over as Juventus manager after Manchester City boss Pep Guardiola turned the Italian side down. (Italian journalist Tancredi Palmeri, via Sunday Mirror)
And yet this will make Chelsea win. Did it with Van Laal.

Man City has already peaked

Whatever you say mate

>contracts have already been signed and submitted to the Premier League between the two parties with Ashley ready to stand down after 12 years in charge on Tyneside
PLEASE

Well. Mr. Shakespeare isn't a fraud

Attached: 2142152364.jpg (613x459, 57K)

Atletico Madrid or Dortmund they'd have lost probably
Napoli and Seville would have been close, Leverkusan, they'd have probably still topped the group

Are you trolling or genuinely retarded?

>"if Leicester can do it why can't we?"
I remember the season after Leicester won it, Everton had a small good run of form at the start and everyone instantly started calling us 'The Next Leicester'. I even remember then having a post match interview with Barry about it were he awkwardly said 'Yeah, why not'. Then the season just went to shit as usual. But really, it could've been us.

Attached: 2654876544.jpg (1010x1200, 143K)

>He should have started at a shit club
>The son of a rich well off father who prepared his kid well should start at the shitters like me
>implying he didn't start with barcelona b before cruyff took the risk of wanting him at the helm despite faggots like you wanting other managers, claiming he would fail and SEETHING when he cleaned house and got rid of ronaldihno, deco, took yaya's place in the midfield etc
Oh and City with all the money in the world couldn't buy the kind of product they are on the pitch under Pep
Eat a dick, envious retards

Attached: mou.jpg (636x692, 134K)

>this desperate to gain 125ml of beer for free

>imagine thinking that Pep could do what he did at Memmouth and when (correctly) pointed out that any team in their domestic league where they're vastly superior to the competition can win domestic trebles starts to sperg out claiming it's not the same
Well, you're right about one thing, it isn't the same. Celtic is better. They did it three times. City have done it once.

It's not a matter of "should", it's just a fact that he can never prove himself to be the best ever if he only ever manages super clubs with unlimited resources.

>City with all the money in the world couldn't buy the kind of product they are on the pitch under Pep

Attached: 1557343074031.jpg (400x800, 246K)

Boomer humour is the fucking worst

Attached: Screenshot_20190526-235856.png (1080x543, 149K)

>tf
>tp
switching to a proxy to shitpost, eh? well played.

What even is that?

Nobody replying to your posts on /brit/ or /britpol/?

I don't get it.

Footy Journo, been breaking most of the stories about Bolton's situation this season

MLS

There is no jealously of man city. No one in the real world actually cares about them, it's on on Yea Forums they're talked about.

I mean the joke. How the fuck is that even meant to be a joke?

>all these /brit/pol retards infecting this thread
Welp, it was a fun few days while it lasted guys.

I think he's been on the tins

it's funny

Denying the fact is just proving you didn't and don't watch them now. Apart from them never playing and dominating like this on the pitch, it took united and liverpool falling apart at the end for them to win their first two premier league titles and the following season after each one was a disaster that comes from being a poorly run shit club because you can't buy sustained success

There's a reason why certain managers are given the keys to top clubs and others belong nowhere near them. There's a reason why juve want him. No one cares what a bunch of retarded weebs think
Imagine being stupid enough to think allardyce or pulis would do the same at City

He's a /trans/ Journo you fucking troglodytes

If you're autistic, maybe. It reads like the kind of joke a 7 year old comes up with. That age where they grasp the structure of a joke, but not what actually makes it funny

It's going to get worse for the next hour or so as their shit takes/banter get ignored elsewhere.

>because you can't buy sustained success
well you can, because that's what they're doing

>they’re referring to change UK as ‘CHUK’ instead of its actual acronym of ‘CUK’ on the telly
I wonder why

>It's the scum, I know

Fuck off, you knobhead.

Every team didn't have any history once

Weird to think that in 50 years time people will call citeh a big team because of all their success now

CHUK sounds like the name of a made up party from Coronation Street

More than just the scousers hate the sun, mate

It tool guardiola for that to happen, people saw city as a club with money that wasn't a real worry for anyone. Now everyone is crying because of what's happened since Pep has joined
Hope they win the league again next season

I mean the fact Brexit Party is gonna win is just gonna make all the nonces switch to shitposting about the other side for (You)'s and then you get nonces like here who don't give a fuck but like shitposting. When this is over, they'll switch back to tripfagging as a Celtic 'fan'.

Thoughts on this cameltoe?

Attached: 04773128-F507-493C-9402-1BBDD5848D86.jpg (2574x1713, 653K)

/trans/ used to always go off-topic late at night, you sniveling little sixth former.

lads, where will qtinho go?

Cause Chucka Umbonga wants people to think it's his party

>Every team didn't have any history once
What fucking retarded logic is this? Every team has their own history and accomplishments, and their own place in the football ladder. Guardiola didn't establish them as a domestic champion, some Arab injecting £500 million into the club did.

There's only like, 3 football matches left this season

Anyone know any hobbies worth taking up?

Any updates on the gf to user situation?

Learning spanish and watching South american football.

Take an evening off, mate

>There's only like, 3 football matches left this season
what do you mean

Close to agreeing a deal but gf's head has been turned by some last minute interest from Chad FC

user will need to fork up a lot of cash to keep gf interested

half of the world runs their leagues from winter to autumn, not just south americans

Championship playoff final
Europa League final
Champions league final

Nowt wrong with off topic posting but it's a fucking bore when it's the same lukewarm takes the rest of the internet is spewing forth

I don't care who wins the Johnny Foreigner trophy

Newcastle United owner Mike Ashley has agreed to sell the club for £350m to the cousin of Manchester City owner Sheikh Mansour. (Sun)

>Barcelona target Matthijs de Ligt, 19, will make a decision on his future after the Netherlands' Nations League games - and the Ajax defender says he does like the Premier League. (ESPN)

Paris St-Germain boss Thomas Tuchel says he cannot guarantee Brazil forward Neymar, 27, and 20-year-old France striker Kylian Mbappe, will be at the French champions next season, but he wants them to stay. (Sky Sports)

>Manchester City have entered the race to sign £40m-rated Monaco midfielder Youri Tielemans, while Leicester also want the 22-year-old Belgium international, who was with them on loan this season. (Sun)

Real Madrid manager Zinedine Zidane wants to keep Spain defender Sergio Ramos at the La Liga club next season, despite interest in the 33-year-old from Liverpool, Manchester United and teams in China. (Marca - in Spanish)

>Stoke City have told £12m Burundi striker Saido Berahino they are cancelling his contract following his conviction for drink-driving earlier this month. (Mail)

Tottenham have been told they will have to pay £20m for Leeds United's 18-year-old English winger Jack Clarke. (Mirror)

>Argentina defender Marcos Rojo, 29, has said he has been reassured he has a future at Manchester United.(Express)

Bayern Munich president Uli Hoeness has told Germany international and former Manchester City defender Jerome Boateng, 30, that he can leave the Bundesliga champions. (Bild - in German)

not as good as Tay's

Attached: gap.jpg (1200x1800, 596K)

Cycling and collecting JAV.

>Algeria and former Newcastle midfielder Mehdi Abeid, 26, wants to return to the Premier League this summer rather than sign a new deal with French side Dijon. (L'Equipe - in French)

Ex-Manchester United boss Jose Mourinho is yet to decide where his next managerial role will be after being sacked by the Old Trafford club in December. (Sky Sports)

>Spurs striker Harry Kane is expected to fly to Madrid with his team-mates on Wednesday as the 25-year-old England captain bids to prove his fitness for Saturday's Champions League final against Liverpool. (Mail)

Chelsea's France midfielder N'Golo Kante, 28, could miss Wednesday's Europa League final against Arsenal after suffering a knee injury in training. (Guardian)

>watching MlelS

Theres Nations League in about 10 days or so

in england yeah
but there's afcon, copa america, nations league, gold cup next month

Reminder that /OurJake/ took her virginity

Attached: article-1300990-0AB64278000005DC-230_226x435.jpg (226x435, 23K)

>political event in UK
>/trans/ becomes political
>BUT WE ALWAYS GO ON ABOUT OFF TOPIC GUUISE :(((((
You're so dense that you could be burnt for fuel.

Attached: 1519046286484.png (725x598, 1.67M)

>implying Yolandi doesn't have the goat tier camel toe

Attached: download (10).jpg (181x278, 10K)

>Tottenham have been told they will have to pay £20m for Leeds United's 18-year-old English winger Jack Clarke.
Lol

Würstchen Uli didn‘t say can, he said should. I wonder who is retarded enough to buy that shitter.

That's going to start becoming quite a standard fee for premier league teams

Sup lads where are the transfers?

I have it on good authority that Javi Martinez is due to sign with Everton within the week

Until the 18 year old wonderkid turns around and hands in a transfer request

remember when teams wanted to buy Willian for like £50m last summer and Chelsea said no?

>Stay Smug, Gasperini!
Stay Smug, Gasperini!

do you lads ever get the urge for drunk fast meat-based food about this time? just looking for suggestions. very drunk. very hungry. would like something meaty. not your cock, user. actual food.

>Soccer Aid is doing mix gender teams now
But why.

Find the first pizza place on just eat and order a meat feast pizza in part of a deal

who cares, soccer aid is bent shit for fags

I want Balotelli to become a coach after retirement from playing

i said fast. pizza takes at least half an hour laddy. i'm looking for quick solutions here. you have been no help whatsoever. i'm going to fry bacon and eggs and there is nothing you can do to stop me.

You're just fucking over your hungover self tomorrow here when you don't have the cold pizza to eat

Love (the Netflix show) kind of sucks

>the angry gimmick poster is back
wonder where he went

What's it about?

no fuck you i'm doing it .will post pics x

Yeah, you're better of watching 'You'

Not even meme'ing, it's more thrilling

>no (0) [ZERO] {NIL} transfers
youtu.be/rVN1B-tUpgs

stop watching N*tflix

Attached: 1484656648269.png (300x297, 230K)

>Implying varg isn't the boilerplate template for incels

Nerdy guy falls in love with loose cannon girl and they explore modern love together. Gillian Jacobs is good in it, but I'm mostly just hatewatching at this point

incels will inherit the earth while everyone else is watching Basedflix on their Basedphones and consuming Onions in their cubicles in Basedllicon Valley

Applauding this post

Attached: D7iEfC4WwAc8hgW.jpg (1600x1067, 290K)

the filters actually made the post much funnier

There was a Femcel (Female Incel) uprising in Japan yesterday. Stabbed a dude because he didn't want to stick his dick in crazy. NOT like my Japanese animes at all.

>NOT like my Japanese animes at all.
What is School Days

very based and cool of her
the global incel revolution spreads

>FIFA has announced a transfer ban on Incel United, which will prevent them from signing any gfs for the foreseeable future

School Days just had bad ends and the anime adaptation decided to go with it as LE EPIC TWIST. But that is irrelevant, in School Days they all fuck Makato, he even convinces a lesbian to do it with him in a quasi-rape (I'll let you fuck me even though I don't want you to and you'll rape if me I say no anyway but this way I can protect the girl i love) and them boom, Nice Boat.

That's like banning Mike Astley from overspending

>Supports state that the transfer ban will not stop Incel United looking for gfs for when the ban is lifted

I feel sorry for Newcastle and their owner, then I remember that Arsenal haven't had a single penny from their current owner for the last like 14 years or some shit and realise they don't have it so bad.

HELP LADS, iv been chatting to some French bird for a few days. Looks like she wants to meet, where so french girls like going on dates to. Also i dont speek French!!
HALP!

Attached: 20190527_012815.jpg (1440x2213, 644K)

Omelette du Fromage

Oh piss off, arsenal are in a Europa League final, they don't have it bad.

if this is a language learning app which is it?

Take her to a gin bar and spend the entire date smoking a cigarette and staring into the distance

Guaranteed sex

potage bon femme rodney. potage bon femme.

Considering they once went a season unbeaten in the league, they've fallen pretty far from that

je suis want le sexe

Nottingham forest once won back to back European cups

Arsenal fans should enjoy where they are, it could be much worse

*ehem*
Assalamualaikum~

Attached: 1035.jpg (630x581, 46K)

That's my point. If Arsenal can do that, then so can Newcastle :^)

Say your phone was stolen by one of your mates who can speaks French and he did it as a laugh and you can only speak English.

How will he explain that to her if she doesn't speak English?

You're getting catfished m8

Okay I definitely misread that one but I'm on the tins and can you blame me when it comes to arsenal fans

Also arsenal probably get a lot of revenue in from their £1000 season tickets where that money will buy you a 6 bedroom house in Newcastle

but are still in the europa league final and able to sign players like ozil and pay them 250k a week. the 'poor arsenal' fans need to fuck off.

voulez vous coucher avec moi c'est soi

By doing it in a text in French?

Oh for sure, but most of that money gets to the owner who uses it as a bank. So, it's pretty shitty deal for them. They turned from a club that could challenge United and win the odd thing, to a club used as a bank for some rich American Jew.

Not any more. Stan is forcing sales now to 'reduce wage budget' and the reason Ramsey didn't get a contract extension was because he wanted over £200k which is the utter limit.

Appreciate all the advise lads!!

But crisis averted, I think she is just talking about much more into the future. Wants to get to know eachother more

Attached: 20190527_013753.jpg (1440x2055, 610K)

Hope arsenal win the Europa League and spurs win the champions League so spurs can purposely plan their victory parade on the same day

Why tf you posting screenshots as if we speak surrender?

Fights would be bants. But they'd obviously separate them. You have to plan that shit weeks in advance. Arsenal did it in the QF's.

Longer the lie goes on the more it'll hurt.

why are you on an app trying to talk to french birds if you dont speak french?

Um, it's our countries tradition to fuck the French, sweetie

Because its "fun".
Its something diffrent and at the end of the day if it dosn't work out i dont have all my eggs in one basket. Gives me an excuse to take a weekend drinking cheep French beer.

>cheep

>literally lost all the wars against France until the 18th century

>This opinion
>That flag

Miles Jacobson is knowledgeable about football

>not speaking french
I speak Dutch, English, German and French fluently, why is it so difficult for the inhabitants of perfidious Albion to learn other languages?

We fought with the French to control the world, and we won.
Well we beat the fight out of them and we just gave it a rest from 1814 onwards.

90% of the time for us there's no point.
We're just playing the percentages.

We don't need to because everyone already speaks out language

And we both (decided)*

It's not an opinion, it's a fact. Every 'famous' victory like Crécy or Agincourt, there was defeats such as Patay or Verneuil and the eventual loss of the war.

The reason the French didn't become the dominant power is because they bankrupted themselves funding the Yanks in their Revolution, which in turn lead to their own Revolution and unstable governance. The fact they managed what they did anyway shows that had they not essentially fought the war for USA with the Spanish, the world would have looked very different. It'd have been much closer. The other reason Britain emerged as a dominant power is because William of Orange brought over secret Dutch ship designs which combined with British designs and eventually lead to copper hull plates which massive increased sailing speed.

>Dutch
Dead language that your government is going to have to massively support with cultural programs to keep alive.

You bored tonight pal?

>The reason the French didn't become....

Very true, this guy knows his history.
And our alliance in the Crimean war was a preview of our continued military cooperation till today.

you're good lad she already talks about getting into relationship. you could invite her to a porno cinema like in that movie and it'll go well
she might also be a bot, weird syntax

Yeah. Lack of transfers, innit.

>Bayern Munich president Uli Hoeness has told Germany international and former Manchester City defender Jerome Boateng, 30, that he can leave the Bundesliga champions
Sign him Arsenal. Him and Mustafi in CB would be memes.

Hahahahhahahahahahahhahaha HAHAHAHA I just saw this paper headline. Fucking bamts.

Attached: _107118411_times.jpg (976x821, 137K)

I want a swap with Ramos.

That's clearly a bot m8
And a shitty one at that.

Is Andre Gomes really good? I watched him four times this season and he really looked decent.

thank you duolingo, very cool

Attached: IMG_20190526_220128.jpg (720x211, 25K)

>the STATE of the get
Fucking Y*nks.

we could do anything and you would be obsessed with it

Who cares

Not liking this angry at everything gimmick you're doing lad.

But...I'm not angry

Attached: 1554297190180.jpg (1080x1349, 73K)

Oh sweetums, I think you are.

Attached: cute black grill 2.jpg (1080x1080, 120K)

I'm really quite calm right now

Attached: 1557311742272.webm (640x800, 2.74M)

I want to see a huge mega transfer, who’s it going to be this summer? Mbappe? Neymar?

Mbappe and Hazard will be the biggest

Are you sweety, are you? Look deep inside yourself, honeybun.

Attached: cute black grill 1.jpg (1242x1225, 295K)

Hazard most likely. Mbappe maybe. Salah maybe. VvD maybe. All depends on the CL result. But Hazard is 99% gone, it's all down to Chelsea autistically screeching for an extra £10m.

>yfw Newcastle really do get bought out by the Sheikh's cousin and they make the curveball meme transfer that no one seen coming, like Robinho to City
>yfw it's Mbappe

She reminds me of Sekai though.

Mbappe to Halal. Maybe Neymar too. That'll free up funds for PSG to buy more players.

>Neymar and Mbappe to Halal
That'd cost £500m alone. I was under the impression Madrid had to SELL players this window because of FFP?

Because they won’t be selling all their deadwood this summer. Not one

No, they will be, my point is that unless they sold their deadwood for like £300m then they'd be in the shit for it. I dunno what numbers they need to do but I don't see them selling enough to cover the theoretical £500m for those two. Neymar cost more than £300m, didn't he? I'm just assuming he'll cost that, with Mbappe at £200m. But they could both easily be more.

Also, greatest meme this summer was Madrid telling Liverpool they'd need to spend the release clause amount to get Ascenso which is like £600m. Somehow the newspaper decided this was worthy of reporting on.

>£600m+ for assensio
What are they smoking over there at the bernabeu?

Based Old Liverpool Lying Meme Poster. It's like €700m or something. Which is hilarious as he isn't worth even 25% of that.

any update on a literally fucking anyone to southampton move?

I'm not sure how many, but most leagues on the continent have compulsory buy out clauses in all contracts. Generally you make the price as high as possible so you have some negotiating room if a club comes in for them. Even if they offer a fair price you can tell them that unless they're paying the release clause you're uninterested and there's not really much anyone can do. Obviously if the release clause is met then the player doesn't necessarily have to leave, it's just the club can't stand in the way of the player discussing a contract because the bid has to be automatically accepted due to meeting the clause.
If the player is playing garbage then the release clause is irrelevant because you can still sell him for whatever price you want, it's just that with a higher clause you aren't really capping how much you can sell the player for should he have a good run of form or whatever (which is another reason they try to make them as high as possible).
Naturally a more meme club like Eibar aren't really going to be able to demand a player sign a contract with that high of a release clause because they don't have the draw Halal have and they don't want to be fighting relegation every season etc. Whereas being tied to a contract like that at Halal is much more likely to be signed for the reverse reasons.
We have much smaller ones here because they aren't mandatory (or they aren't insisted upon as much, I forget the actual "rules"). I remember about 8 years or so ago Messi had one for £250m or something, then once it started to get mentioned that City would pay that price he signed a new contract with a £500m release or whatever it was. The point is he still had the clause because you have to.
But at least you know why it's the case now.

Seems like he might be going to a PL club.

They'll sell plenty of deadwood to PSG and Man Utd. The transactions with PSG might as well be swap deals.

>brit on Yea Forums
>never played football manager
>doesn't know how release clauses work

whole point of a release clause like that is to make it impossible to sell the player under this current contract regardless of what kind of jewish tricks the player's agent tries to pull going forward. I'm a flithy disgusting ignorant amerifat and even I know that one Nigel

>West Ham offer £18m for Andre Gomes
Are West Ham literally retarded? You don't negotiate by lowballing your first offer by so much.

Right, who's going to newly oil-rich Newcastle? Is Robinho still playing?

LEL

You're 180cm without the trip aren't you ?? Trying to deflect the attention away. Fuck off you ginger cunt I'll always know its you. The thread is definitely heavier with you in it

'Stay Smug, Gasperini!'

idk man.
I dont think he has the echte liebe mentality

Who can stop us?

Attached: 61660496_10155955712327447_1003486213555879936_n.jpg (640x960, 77K)

There are like 4 ok players here.

she is peng as fuck m8

Ya

seré tu amigo, fren

>this shit barely legible font

Just use times new roman you twats

>barely legible
Get an eye test

Ajax defender Matthijs de Ligt says he is unsure where his future lies. Sky sources understand Manchester United have withdrawn their interest in De Ligt, leaving Barcelona seemingly as the front-runners to secure his services.

>Lothar Matthaus thinks Leroy Sane will join Bayern Munich this summer.

Senior sources at Newcastle United are refusing to comment on reports this morning that Dubai-based billionaire Sheikh Khaled bin Zayed Al Nehayan is close to finalising a deal to buy the club.

>Paris Saint-Germain are reportedly considering a swoop for Liverpool star James Milner, according to The Sun.

Antonio Conte will sign a three-year contract with Inter Milan this week, Sky Sports News understands.

>Wanda Nara has defended Inter striker Mauro Icardi after his missed penalty against Empoli. “These are things that happen to those who have balls.”

Genoa President Enrico Preziosi has branded talk of a possible takeover by Leeds United owner Andrea Radrizzani a ‘fabrication’.

>Inter will reportedly be forced to pay off Luciano Spalletti and his staff €25m as President Steven Zhang promises ‘to do the best I can’.

Goalkeeper Jasper Cillessen is leaving Barcelona with a ‘bittersweet feeling’ over a lack of game-time, report Diario AS.

>Real Madrid goalkeeper Andriy Lunin has told Leganes he will return to his parent club next season, according to El Mundo Deportivo.

Atletico Madrid will attempt to sign Monaco striker Radamel Falcao this summer six years after his exit, according to reports.

>Barcelona are set to be ruthless with player departures this summer following their disappointing end to the campaign, say Diario Sport. The Blaugrana are set to move on nine players this summer, according to the report, with Philippe Coutinho, Samuel Umtiti, Ivan Rakitic and Malcom the highest-profile casualties.

Midfielder Bernard Mensah has left Atletico Madrid after four years without ever playing a game for the club, it has been confirmed. The Ghanaian midfielder had been on loan at Kayserispor, who have now signed him outright despite Istanbul-based giants Besiktas also reportedly being keen on a deal.

>Manchester United, Tottenham and Real Madrid all want to sign Real Betis midfielder Giovani Lo Celso this summer, report Marca.

Sevilla are among the frontrunners to sign Real Madrid midfielder Marcos Llorente this summer, according to reports.

>Espanyol are expecting bids from Bayern Munich and Paris Saint-Germain for defender Mario Hermoso, report Diario AS.

Real Madrid are set to decide on the future destination of Martin Odegaard, who is returning to the club following a loan spell at Vitesse.

>Real Madrid Coach Zinedine Zidane held a face-to-face meeting with captain Sergio Ramos to persuade him to stay at the club, report Marca.

Alaves are set to move for €3.5m Celtic defender Jozo Simunovic this summer, according to a report published in Marca.

>34-year-old Mathieu Valbuena arrived in Greece today to complete free transfer move from Fenerbahce to Olympiakos

PSG Sporting Director Antero Henrique has been unexpectedly summoned to Doha for a meeting about the club's hierarchy - is his job in danger?

>André Villas-Boas has reportedly agreed a 2-year contract worth €600k a month with Marseille (FF)

>These are things that happen to those who have balls
>people who have balls miss penalties
It's literally the exact opposite though. If you have the balls to keep your cool, you'll score

Genoa survived lads

Attached: jej pepe.gif (220x220, 17K)

Not enough Ngubus or Aladdins for your liking?

Arsenal have returned 2,300 of their 6,000 Europa League final tickets

Placing these games in these corrupted shit holes is not cool.

Baku really isn't that far away and difficult to get to

>Newcastle United becoming an oil club
Now surely Rafa Benitez will stay.

Huh, I thought it was only 2200.

I cannot wait, I hope it's true so much.
Newly rich clubs always spend like lunatics, and Newcastle have a decade of pent up retardation.

AND LUCAS MOURA HAS BANGED IT IN TOP BINS TOTTENHAM HAVE WON THE CHAMPIONS LEAGUE

#COYS

Yeah, honestly I don't get all the complaints. I know it's far away and I know that people think that Europe ends at Germany, but Baku is not THAT bad.
I went to Georgia and travelled to Armenia this summer, it was relatively easy. How hard can going to Baku be?

The problem is that all avenues to Baku Have had their prices massively inflated because they can. The demand is also was way inflated. Normally travel to Baku is not in massively high demand from the west and so potentially 10,000 fans arriving over 2 days causes massive logistical problems.

From what I grasped air companies didn’t schedule enough planes to carry all the fans to Baku.

Not enough planes.
Also they cannot adjust the quantities, they are adjusting the prices.

based post from the future

Attached: spurs animu 4.png (500x500, 351K)

F U C K Lucas Moura desu

>André Villas-Boas has reportedly agreed a 2-year contract worth €600k a month
BOSS?

Marseille are completely retarded.
They are in Ligue 2 in less than 5 years.

I don't understand why this is an issue, they host a grand prix, there must be an influx of visitors for that too.

At Wembley lads. Nerves just about kicking in

the tough logistics are part of the fun

Who you there for?

Villa or Derby?

why are all the english finals at wembley

Derby

To bring the norferners and middulers to the souf and vaccinate them

Because we spent a billion quid on it

F U C K you, fellow drug addict.

Derby

Exclusiva Jugones right now lads, Ramos has told president Florentino Perez that he wants to terminate his contract to go to china on a free transfer

>China
WEW

autism

New thread

Attached: where do you think we are.jpg (944x712, 99K)

I'm really confused about England's youth teams. Okay, so there was an U20 Euros this year we didn't even qualify for, but I think we won it a few years ago? We also have an U21 team? Is that why we weren't in the U20 Euros because we have an U21 team instead or were we just too bad for U20? Fucking hell I just wish every team had the same teams.

Because thats where the FA do their pedo rings so they need to get events in to pay for the rent etc.