What is the lamest professional team name in every major sport...

What is the lamest professional team name in every major sport? I feel like pic related is an easy choice for basketball.

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for me, it's the golden knights of las vegas

Utah Jazz in the NBA
Washington Nationals in baseball
Ottawa Senators in NHL
River Plate in football
Cleveland Browns in NFL

no, it's the teds
>took until now to win a single playoff series
>went all in
>btfo in round 2
>back to irrelevancy

>MLB
Los Angeles Angels ("The Angels Angels", would be fixed if they went back to Anaheim Angels or California Angels)
>NBA
Utah Jazz
>NFL
Washington Redskins
>NHL
Anaheim Ducks (they ruined it when they changed from Mighty Ducks to Ducks)

>Washington Nationals in baseball
what's wrong with Nationals? I find it very prestigious like the Patriots. Alpha.

Ducks are far shittier as a team name, people only give it a pass because of disney nostalgia

this isn't about teams in general just team names, retard

The jazz is a great name. It's just not suited to Utah.

Redskins

How is a genre of music a great name for a sports team?

I don't know but pelicans are pretty mean bastards. When I was in Australia some pelican robbed this chihuahua in its mouth, just picked it up like, and took off. The stupid owner, a woman, had let the little dog off the leash in the park.

Nashville Predators
Atlanta Falcons
Charlotte Bobcats

Generic ass animal names are lame. Toronto Raptors is pretty retarded too but at least it's kind of different. Kind of stupid though.

You could say a team played like a tight band. Saying your team played like cardinals sounds a lot worse.

Raptors is a fine name and tying it in to the Jurassic Park films is pure marketing brilliance because it is so fucking stupid. Makes me want to wear a cartoon raptor shirt around purely to annoy the cool kids.

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Utah Jazz

They were just thinking of a logo they could slap on merchandise to sell to kids. The kids love that shit but it's such a dumb name.

Of course the Pelicans are a soulless name. New Orleans only has an NBA team because they stole the original Hornets franchise.

then you'd be calling them the "jazzmen" or something make it a concrete noun or an adjective, not some kind of abstract concept

the name "raptors" should unironically go to utah, where they discovered a species of raptor.

then "jazz" can go back to new orleans if they want it. not sure what toronto would become, though.

A slightly abstract concept is a lot more interesting than an animal name. Unless your team is called the Wild. That's just stupid.

"Rays" will soon be "Expos"

The Toronto Pelicans

I think Pelicans was an old minor league baseball team name from the area.

expos would be the lamest in baseball if they still existed. what the fuck, montreal

Yikes!

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Expos is a soulful name. The only bad part about the Expos is Le Stade Olympique

imagine kansas city naming their team the Cons because they had a successful auto convention there in 1922 or something

But the name sounds good linguistically so who gives a shit. Plus they have a cool ass logo and a based mascot and they had a lot of great players. Much better than the >rasy

>The only bad part about the Expos is Le Stade Olympique

There's a reason why it is also has "The Big Owe" nickname since it took the city 30 years to finish paying off the debt while it kept falling apart

Ducks are fine. The Blues have a stupid name. So do the Stars.

Lakers.

LA only had one natural lake. And they drained it. What the fuck is a clipper and a dodger as well?

Holy shit LA teams have dumbass team names.

That's what happens when all three of the teams you mentioned were moved to LA

a clipper's a kind of boat, and a dodger is a trolley-dodger.
read a book, nigger.

no excuse for lakers, though

clippers are a sailing reference they used to be in san diego

Another case of a team moving and not changing the name. The Lakers started in Minneapolis

Seattle SuperSonics.

>Lakers
>Inspired by Minnesota's nickname, "Land of 10,000 Lakes", the team christened themselves the Lakers.

>Clippers
>a contest decided on "Clippers", because the city was known for the great sailing ships that passed through San Diego Bay

>Dodgers
>The team name, Brooklyn Trolley Dodgers, was coined in 1895

They should have changed it when they went to LA.

Call themselves the Wolves. Since timberwolves make no sense in LA.

That was fan chosen. It has a good ring to it.

Fucking hell, does LA have anything original?

Angels Kings. Ducks Rams

Rams came from Cleveland.
Ducks came from Disney
Kings is generic

Angels is okay, though

*the Los Angeles angels of Anaheim

bluepilled

not so fast

>the team was renamed the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim

>The club was founded in 1993 by The Walt Disney Company as the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim, a name based on the 1992 film The Mighty Ducks

>The Cleveland Rams were founded in 1936 by Ohio attorney Homer Marshman and player-coach Damon Wetzel

Vancouver Canucks
New York Yankees

Galaxy then!!!

>The name "Galaxy" was derived from Los Angeles being home to the "stars" of Hollywood

that's the dumbest fucking meaning behind the name holy shit

Whether their in LA or Anaheim, Angels makes perfect sense because Los Angeles translates into "The Angels".

It works, though.

This reminds me, how come there's a team called the "Canadiens" but not one called the "Americans". We have the "Nationals", but thats it.

You've got the yankees

rochester americans.
they're ahl, though

Makes more sense in that context given that it is hockey

nba is either pelicans or suns for lamest
76ers is the weirdest name

If it makes sense to call a team the Angels Angels.

>76ers is the weirdest name
>The name comes from the signing of the United States Declaration of Independence in Philadelphia in 1776.

literally learn your history pleb

Just from the MLS alone, all those wannabe European teams, which covers over half of the league. Anything with "FC" in the name, like Toronto FC, FC Dallas, and Seattle Sounders FC ("sounding" also being the act of inserting something into your urethra), then Minnesota United FC and Atlanta United FC, who doubled up on the Yurop parody. But the worst one of all is Real Salt Lake in a republic.

I'll just write all the Euro-wannabe MLS teams here:
Atlanta United FC
FC Cincinnati
D.C. United
New York City FC
Toronto FC
FC Dallas
Houston Dynamo
Los Angeles FC
Minnesota United FC
Real Salt Lake
Seattle Sounders FC
Sporting Kansas City
Vancouver Whitecaps FC

The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim

The The Angels Angels of Anaheim

I'd say Memphis is the real hometown of blues.

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The cleveland browns
Imagine being called a “brown”

Not him, actually calling it the date is definitely weird.

Even weirder probably, it's named after their coach's last name.

Imagine a team called the Cleveland Matthews or Cleveland Williams

Spot on.

Sounders comes from the Puget Sound you deviant.

You have to be 18 and of average intelligence to post here

for me, it's the $(ERS
how can you even pronounce such an abomination?

the saddest name in baseball is the Royals. It's a team in Kansas City, which is as far from royalty as you can get. then you find out it's named after the American Royal, a local livestock show where they sell meat on the hoof.

You used to.

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New Orleans Pelicans
Real Salt Lake
Baltimore Orioles
Vegas Golden Knights
Cleveland Browns

The Browns combined with their struggles is both lame and depressing

New York Yankees
New England Patriots

Yankees/Patriots are not the same thing as Americans, dumbass

Yankees to yanks are like Canadiens to Canada.

>no connection to nola
you and every other niggers are retarded, the team used to be based on New Orelean, hence, the jazz part.

>ORELEAN
IS THIS SOME KIND OF NIGGER DRINK

Dont reproduced and reported to ICE

>reading comp
You don't have it

Inter Miami is one of the most cringe things I’ve ever heard in my life

Wild is awful.

It's abysmal dude. I know you don't really have that shitty of taste.

...

Browns is a based name with a based logo it's just that it's unfortunate they're always shit which is easily memeable with literal shit. If they're good tho it's based

but theyre not, theyre the Los Angeles Angels / LA Angels

>at work one day
>man comes in
>he is american, I can tell by his accent
>say something like hello yank
>he says I ain't no damn yankee, I'm from missouri

Matthews and Williams arent colors brainlet

Nobody has said Buffalo Bills yet?
It was literally just:
>Hey once upon a tie there was this guy named "Bill" who went by the nickname "Buffalo Bill." He never lived here and didn't have any connection to our city and his nickname had nothing to do with us but wouldn't it be neat to name ourselves after him?

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>muh nostalgia
I hate try hard faggots like you pretending there is an issue when there is none for internet points. There is literally nothing wrong with ducks, they're a cool animal and it rolls off the tongue.

These two are pretty equal. Gaudy amateur nonsense.

it actually works tho. simple clean alliterated name with an iconic logo

Utah Jazz is based fuck off and stop listening to Bill Simmons. Nobody cares if there is no jazz there, it's an homage to the team history and it's a fun name for a place like Utah.

>oy vey this team name is too much fun for my super serious kid game

It's a boring name that's why

ducks are lame user
at least with Mighty Ducks it had some energy to the name
if we're counting defunct teams I'd say Ducks are on par with the Seals for lamest NHL name

>lmao praise American Jebus! *wears church mandated whitey tighties*
I'm not even religious but this is top level cringe

I agree with this and have said so myself

Fuck off you baboon. River Plate is a good name

>team history
nobody cares about muh franchises besides the ownership, once you move you move

>it's a fun name
not an argument

okay, reddit

Your original comment was pure reddit atheism but I'm not going to argue with a retard

>Be white supremacist
>Be retarded
They aren't in NOLA anymore are they?

>it's a "retard thinks Mormons are Christians and percieves slights against them as fedora tipping" episode
I hate reruns, and I'm not that poster you retard

Real Salt Lake

>In choosing the name Real, owner Dave Checketts intended to create a brand name that would become well known for its simplicity, as well as an association with the world-famous club in Madrid that the club had been striving toward.[3]

>One of the reasons for using Real was founder Dave Checketts' admiration for Real Madrid during his time as the general manager of the National Basketball Association (NBA)'s Utah Jazz franchise. Checketts also found it encouraging that Real Madrid had a basketball team as well.[4]

Very American

Every single American sports team name is lame and childish

true

Stupid Dixie.

It puts the lotion on its' skin or it gets the hose again.

Fuck off Mohammed

Animal teams are always based in my book. It makes up for a proper mascot. Naming a team after a color like reds, blues, browns, etc is low tier. If not an animal, something like a senator or gladiator isn't too poor but still not great. Any team that is called something city is terrible.

That would go to the wild though

>calling your team royal
>in a republic
Europhiles are horrible.

I love them, but Packers is an objectively stupid name.

F

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>God tier
Named after regional identity/history (New Orleans Jazz, Ohio State Buckeyes, Chicago BlackHawks)
>High tier
Animals/ Animal themed
Colors/ Colored clothing
>Mid tier
Humanoid mascots
Vehicles
“Verb”-ers
>Low Tier
Singular concepts (Wild, Magic, Heat)
>Shit Tier
American and Canadian soccer teams with European naming conventions

this except move forces of nature to high tier

FC and United are passable but Real Salt Lake and Sporting Kansas City are embarrassing

For me, it's [City Name] United

Yes but it doesn't help that the other most common use for the word is in "chicken nuggets". Imagine playing a team of nuggets, or chunks, or morsels, or blobs.

St Louis blues is sort of a pun. There is an actual song called the St Louis Blues.

There used to be the New York Americans, an actual NHL team that did in fact play against the Canadiens. They were hit hard by WWII and went out in 1942. Never won a cup, but they did have a few award winning players.

This

>if they went back to California Angels

which they should

You could say they 'jazzed it up.' It works

>Generic ass animal names are lame.

That's almost every team's name, dumbass

Toronto Lakers

Make it LA's problem. Shouldn't be hard

>Ducks are fine.
Nope

>So do the Stars.
Texas is the Lone Star State

Wish they could have called them the Senators again, but the Twins probably wouldn't relinquish that

Diamondbacks, magic, Buccaneers and golden knights

Literally one of the best team names

>Lone Star State
Dallas Star

FYI this is the correct general ranking of names

>plural
>singular

why can't yuros into education?

>>Low Tier
>Singular concepts (Wild, Magic, Heat)
but the Magic and Heat are good names for those cities and appropriately unique. those 2 are bad examples. you even got a singular concept in the god tier status. it's not the abstract noun concept thats bad, it's the execution

>Browns
retreading a team name named after some owner or some shit from 50 years ago after your team got relocated and rebranded
>Pelicans
3 syllables is too many. I know there are plenty of them in sports but for some reason the Pelicans seems the worst
>Canadiens
Canadians.
>Angels
The Angels Angels of Anaheim, California.

no, if they "jazzed it up" then the team are like "the interior decorators" or whatever. "jazz" as a genre of music has no ability to do or not do particular things.
abstract names suck, and I will heem anyone who thinks otherwise.

>Iconic baseball team calls itself the Royals
Fag.

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>t. Still seething gremista, cruzeiriANO, flamengista and/or internaciomal faggot

For football its every single team that goes "City Name" FC

Change the Pelicans to the New Orleans Flood

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Most Based team name? Obvious choice is the magic, any others?

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Nah 'jazzing it up' works

>Even weirder probably, it's named after their coach's last name
>it's named after their coach's last name

Weather names desu

Thunder, Hurricanes, Cyclones, Storm, etc.

theres the Rochester Americans

Good Post.

Redskins is based you stupid sjw

Any "sox" name

except it's also a color

Jazz usually involves a scene with dancing, weed and booze. Mormons don't conger up that image well.

>cleveland BROWNS
>logo is an ORANGE helmet

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>jersey is brown

Brooklyn nets, fuckers traded their future away for aging superstars and are still and forever will be dogshit

New York Jets fan here. Who all named after planes. Winnipeg's old colors and logo were much better. New shit looks horrible

All this anger at the Cleveland Browns and nobody has mentioned the Cincinnati Reds

Sometimes I secretly wish it was the Phillies who had moved and the As who stayed. Athletics old times and classic but simple enough to be timeless

>Texas is the Lone Star State
Dallas Stars, formerly Minnesota North Stars.

Aerospace is pretty big employer in Seattle. In 60's everyone thought that supersonic air travel is economically viable.

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They were hit by >rags not keeping their word after the war. Dirty backstabbers.

>Oakland Phillies
interesting

The random animal names are fucking dreadful. Even worse if it's just some random angry predator type thing that has nothing to do with the area of the team.

>Real Sporting San Francisco United FC
The animal names have been that way here for over 125 years. I’d prefer to keep the MLS tier names to a minimum.

its a sad day when a leaf has to educate an american no offense leaf

>a fucking Plate
lmaoing @ this

for me, its Riber