>Juventus are planning to go shopping in London for a Max Allegri replacement. The Italian champions intend to stop off at Not White Hart Lane first and ask Tottenham if they can have Mauricio Pochettino. Daniel Levy, Tottenham’s gnarly negotiator of a chairman, will direct them towards a storage cupboard where he keeps Jacques Santini, Juande Ramos and Tactics Tim. Juve can choose from Jacques Santini, Juande Ramos and Tactics Tim. In fact they can have them all if they’re feeling adventurous. But they’re unlikely to be allowed to return to Turin with Pochettino as their new manager.
Not to worry, though, because Juventus have alternative targets. Off they head to Stamford Bridge, where Chelsea’s suits appear to have to convince their Italian counterparts that all those “Fuck Sarriball” chants were actually an ironic tribute to Maurizio Sarri. Juve are said to be prepared to stump up £5m in compensation for Sarri, who has impressed them with plans to play Cristiano Ronaldo as a holding midfielder, but they could face competition for him from Roma.
>Manchester United don’t have to worry about finding a new manager. Ole’s at the wheel. He gets it, you see. Not enough to stop David de Gea from refusing to sign a new deal, though. It seems the Spaniard, whose current contract runs out next year, has had enough of life at Old Trafford after seeing pictures of Phil Jones’s new haircut. Paris Saint-Germain are lining up a £60m bid. In better news, however, United are closing in on Barcelona’s Ivan Rakitic for £48m, Swansea City’s Daniel James for £15m and Crystal Palace’s Aaron Wan-Bissaka for £50m. Meanwhile Juan Mata could be off to Newcastle, who hope to keep Sean Longstaff away from United.
Arsenal are eyeing Dynamo Dresden’s Markus Schubert as a replacement for Petr Cech, who is heading back to Chelsea in a new sporting director role. Schubert, a Germany Under-21 international, is available on a free transfer. Arsenal are also looking at River Plate’s Exequiel Palacios as a replacement for Aaron Ramsey.
>Tottenham have decided to look elsewhere after failing to convince Palace to give them Wilfried Zaha in exchange for a book about luxury cheese rooms. The north Londoners are searching in Spain for attacking reinforcements instead and like the look of Celta Vigo’s Maxi Gómez, who has a £43m release clause in his contract.
West Ham tried to sign the Uruguayan forward in January, but they have other forward targets now. Manuel Pellegrini is planning to rival Newcastle for Club Brugge’s Wesley Moraes, who did 17 goals in Belgium last season, and he also fancies a reunion with West Brom’s Salomón Rondón, who played for the Chilean at Málaga.
>Frank Lampard, manager of Frank Lampard’s Derby County, will try to sign Chelsea’s Gary Cahill if the Rams beat Aston Villa in next Monday’s Championship play-off final.
I really hope >we will sign at least three players.
I saw brandt in that dormund shirt today and it honestly made me so fucking angry I just couldn't contain myself. I went out for a drive in my new BMW and I saw a white blind girl with a black inhuman ape and I was just so angry that I drove past them and splashed them with my venti late. The looked very angry. I wish the Jewish levi would sign some players. Just anyone. I hate women. Why won't they show me any attention at all. My roommate the other day said that he lost his virginity at the age of 14 and I went to my room and cried and cried and cried. I calledy mother to comfort me and she said that I am ever so handsome and that women just don't understand how lucky they are to have me in their presense and the filthy apes that fuck these whores are simply animals.
It would be great though if we could sign lo celso. I've seen rumours of malcolm coming anf that would be OK too. I'm very angry over brandt and I will never forgive him
È uscita la notizia sull AGI (Agenzia Giornalisti Italiani), sicuramente la più affidabile delle fonti dalle uqali è filtrata finora la notizia. Tutti gli elementi combaciano con quelli da me raccolti finora ( ho diverse fonti all interno dell' ambiente societario) e posso confermare tutto. PEP WELCOME TO JUVENTUS.
Cameron Morris
why would pep leave city?
Jason Hill
Because it's the only way to get the English to stop crying since he's turned City into a machine and all they can do now is whine
Caleb Taylor
don't think he cares about that la
Nathaniel Jenkins
how long until this bald faggot moves to psg, wins 3 league titles and retarded faggots keep calling him the GOAT?
Even I could win the scudetto w/ Juve, I wouldn't even leave my home; just talk to the players on the phone
Adrian Rivera
Yet here you are, being a waste of oxygen on Yea Forums and being a dirty greek
Logan Perez
>american flag
a worm's opinion is worth more, you mixed race, kike bowing, fat faggot mongrel
Kevin Adams
He says as he posts on a site founded by an American while using American websites and consuming media through American companies like youtube kys useless shithole were most of you have dirty arab blood, hairy mongrel
Gabriel Gonzalez
>tf >calling others mongrels Haha
Jace Parker
>greek >not a mongrel
Your kind has been cucked by the turks for generations
Jordan Cook
Fuck I’m jelly desu
Chase Hernandez
>I was just so angry that I drove past them and splashed them with my venti late toppest of keks
