Buy some shite from Asda via self checkout

its a lot more convenient to have reusable bags instead of accruing a shit ton of bags or having to throw them away each time

Why wouldn't you want some handy canvas bags though? This thread stinks of poverty.

I sure hope a white person isn't this poor

I'm coming the police.

It's only convenient situationally. Generally takes longer and odds are we aren't as good at packing the bags than the pros.

Are you 65?

>shop at the Albert Heijn
>pick the hottest cassier
>make eye contact
>the bitch smiles at me
>live of this high for the rest of the week

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What kind of smelly dirty cunt does this i genuinely am upset at you

literally how are they are convenience though
unless you have a girlfriend (unlikely) it means you have to carry the bags into the shop or have them in another bag you wear on your back and still you'd probably forget them like half the time so they'd be pointless anyway

they give those out for free here, plus if you scan them during self checkout you even get a discount every time.

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>it means you have to carry the bags into the shop or have them in another bag you wear on your back
you fucking retard you put the bags inside the cart /basket

you would make a girl carry your bags? what the fuck is wrong with you

>get home and memory fap

>going to festival with the lads
>2 bags for lives packed full of cans
>making hella ground knowing they'll never break
>Meanwhile, you're spilling spaghecial brew all over the floor because your 5p tesco bag didn't even make it out of the car park

>go into to buy razor blades
>oh that whiskey I like is on offer
>have to buy something else so i don't look suicidal

and why would you have a trolley or basket if you're buying 5 items or less (the limit on self-checkouts)
girls have handbags

I saw some youth swear at a Morrisons worker over this the other day and when I saw a couple of other youths in the queue start to gesture my heart sank when it quickly came apparent they were only backing him up. Scum, subhuman scum.

Off to Australia with you

toilet paper and soap make it seem like you want to keep living

>drinking beer
are you 19?

>and why would you have a trolley or basket if you're buying 5 items or less (the limit on self-checkouts)
because carrying 5 medium sized items in your sounds like a stupid inconvenience conducive to dropping things around like a cunt
just use a cart

>go grocery shopping
>spot a cougar eyeing me down and smiling
>spill my spaghetti when i feel her gaze upon me

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1. they're stronger than plastic bags, so you can put more shit in them, meaning you can carry more at once
2. they're reusable so you don't have to get rid of a bunch of bags after shopping
just shove all of the bags into one bag, stick it in the shopping cart or basket when you start out. this is fucking basic stuff m8

>get some chocolate buns
>but select the plain ones at self checkout
they'll never catch me

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>go to the grocery
>buy seemingly normal shit
>the cashier and bagger make start analyzing my purchases like a post-game report
couldn't go to albertsons for weeks after that

I always play a dumb game of how much shit I can hold without any of it falling out of my hands when shopping. Fuck baskets and trolleys

yep do this with the organic veg

>go shopping
>forget to tip the cashier, bagger, and cart handler

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What's your record m8? 6 items here.

>Go shopping
>See qt
>See same qt in another isle
>And another
>And another buying the same thing
>And then in the queue for checkout
>Imagine life together
>Pay for my items
>Get in my car
>Cry

*hurrying out of tescos with 8 full bags for life*
ahh lads ive got the grocer--wocer--wooaaaAAAHHHHHHHRRRGGGGG!!!! *trips over a quran* WAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEYYAAAAAAHHHHGGG!!!! *slips on the wet floor* *topples from the weight of the bags* GERONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNIMOWOWOWOAAAAHHHHHHHHHH *does 3 somersaults, groceries flying everywhere* HHHHHHHWOOOORRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGXXXXXXXZZZZZZZZBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBHNNCVKVV!!!!!!!!!!!! *lands on my feet* *notices a muffled "POP"* *looks down* HAHA UH OH *camera pans down to show ive just landed on your bollocks* aha did i do that?? *faces camera, winks and shrugs*

>find the cheapest fruit/vegetable
>use that items code for other products

kek

I just use them as bin bags like I always did with the old type.
Apparently "bags for life" need to be reused a whole bunch of times to be more environmentally friendly than the old type, so that's not quite working out how they planned.

>go to shops
>15000 people strategically block every aisle with their trolleys

Are you 16 or something

>not ordering all your groceries online to avoid wasting time in these crowded annoying places

cretin

>having other people pack your bags
the decadence that doomed the west

stealing from a self-checkout is basically the best evidence that someone is a shit person. i used to hate them for taking people's jobs but now i hope they can be used in the future to recommend certain people for culling.

Going just for the bog roll is the other embarrassing one, everyone knows that you're going to wipe that roll you're holding in your ass

incel

>all
shiggy diggy
they give you the shit stock that doesn't sell or is very close to the expiry date

>go to self-checkout on busy day, hungry people want their dinner
>halfway through forget to weight the fruit
>walk all the way back through the store and return 2 minutes later despite there's also weighting machines at the check out
sorry not sorry

>don't pay for my bags
Lads am I retarded or are there literally no bags there in Asda's? I've seen some other stores have them, but in Asda the bags aren't there, don't you have to ask for them?

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if anyone feels like perspiring I'd invite you to go ahead because I know I'm sure going to

this is Yea Forums so yes, probably

the worst are the grocery stores in canada that make you take your shoes off in the winter. there's never any proper fitting sandals to use and my socks always end up soaking wet.

Where are you shopping, 2002?

Tip is to get something hot from the deli section

>oh he's just getting something to eat and is probably out of toilet paper

you just sound stupid, user

>make you take your shoes off
This can't be a real thing, I refuse to believe it

>walking around bearfoot holding your milk in bags

America, please put Canada out their misery

>take item from back of shelf in case someone has tampered with the one on the front

I always go for one in the middle in case someone tampered with it and put it at back anticipating someone like you would go for back

The back ones are just the first ones before the minimum wage teenager puts the new box in place

even better evidence is if they don't return shopping carts :(

based

say that to me again and youre fucking dead

>go to self check-out
>purposely tamper with the scale to get the hot chick staff to help me
>brush my hand against hers as she taps on the screen next to me
>whiff the smell of her shampoo today
>go home and throw away the garbage food i bought
>figure out what to buy tomorrow

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>use self-scan
>several items' barcode doesn't work
>notify employee
>she tries to scan them herself as if that would make it work out of nowhere
>'just take them'

Absolutely based

Tbf most customers are fucking morons so it's worth her checking

does anyone else stick the bar of soap halfway up their ass when showering and move it in and out?

It's way more embarrassing to buy kitchen roll than it is toilet roll.

Everyone needs toilet roll but kitchen roll is for the clumsey

No

fag

>halfway up
pussy

>do full shop at tesco express
>can't fit all items in self scan baggage area
>fat hippo on till keeps looking at me
>now items not weighing properly as I adjusted bag
Fuck tesco express

i avoid shops where the people there recognize me from going so often

no, swipe it like I'm scanning a credit card
nobody should be fucking themselves with soap

i have to rotate the shops I buy alcohol from so they don't think i'm an alcoholic even though I am

>go to self-serve
>buying something that requires age verification
>press store login and use the pin that i saw them use last time
>dont have to speak to anyone
get fucked tescos

Kitchen roll is essential for patting meat/veg dry and cleaning / drying pots and especially cast iron stuff.

>inb4 muh dish cloth
Yeah, no thanks keep your lint spreading shit rags

Don't be rude

>paying for bags
That's as cuckish as tipping.

>no, swipe it like I'm scanning a credit card

Contactless or full chip insert? Cause literally no one has swiped a card since the 80s

i used to do that too when i was a compulsive alco

you knew exactly what was meant autismo

>patting meat/veg dry
this. especially meat

>using a cloth to dry raw chicken breasts
why.jpg

just at the self-serve and this has come up. what do i do?

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>go to grocery store on a warm sunday
>look at all the qts feet in sandals

this technology is not available in brazil

It is, it's called looting.

oooh look at him, FRESH parsley. la dee daa.

Putting a bit in the tip of your johnny makes you last longer - doesn't work as well in the spice bottles

*injects all the items with a syringe full of aids blood*
whoops what am i like?

who is johnny

Won't it go up your japs eye

>water is wet

excuse me what

cart round-up is the best job you can get in the supermarket, working outside away from the managers and customers.

basically putting a bit of parsley in the tip of your johnny makes you last longer - though doesn't work as well in the spice bottles

>swipe it like I'm scanning a credit card
then you shower with the rest of the ass soap next time? wtf

I am now living the johnny parsley lifestyle.

>tesco
>every little helps

what did they mean by this?

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look after the pennies and the pounds will take care of themselves

regarding the bags, i have two small purses where i store my triangle-folded bags. they're light, small and hold 6 or 7 kg each without a problem
i always use normal cashiers, not those auto-mumbo jumbo ones

how is sticking up your ass any better?

but where's the noun? should be every little bit helps

My checkout story from last week
>have 20 euro in 10, 20 and 50 cent coins
>go to supermarket to get rid of them
>select items that add up to exactly 20 euro
>go to self checkout and put in all my coins
>slot the last coin
>fuckingfinallydone.jpg
>screen says I still owe more money
>ain't got no more money
>press cancel
>receive a 20 euro note back
>take my items and powerwalk outta there

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would expect nothing less from a potato monkey

it's not, really, but neither are ideal

Pretty dumb post

speak on that

>hot blonde tanned cashier touches my hand while moving an item
>immediately start to imagine our married life
I'M SO FUCKING HORNY AND LONELY

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The store closest to my apartment now has self-checkout and reduced the normal cashiers. I avoid this store now because I'm afraid I'll do something wrong. I can't go to the normal cashier either because it would be embarassing as everyone knows that I'm afraid of the machine then. Fuck this world.

1) I usually triple/quadruple bag
2) because I reuse them

How is it faster to go through the regular registers that usually have people with full carts waiting, faster than a 20 item max uscan? And you really trust some minimum wage dunce not to smash your shit

at the stores near me the self checkout is usually the place with longer lines and the system there is that the cashier also bags so no risk of a dumbass high schooler. They do a good job.

>get to checkout
>finish scanning all my items
>enter pin in backwards
>get everything for free

Lmao

It means they sell horsemeat while passing it off as cow/pig products

>at the stores near me the self checkout is usually the place with longer lines
Doubt it. But hey, some user on the internet said it, so it must be true
>and the system there is that the cashier also bags so no risk of a dumbass high schooler. They do a good job.
I'd still prefer to bag myself than some low wage cashier who hates their job & is just trying to get through the line

How do you steal a bag, don't the staff have to hand you one?

It's only in the seriously shithole places that they have to do that, most ASDAs have them on hooks underneath the conveyor belt for you to pick for yourself.

>pick a nice thermal bag that normally costs a quid
>"Did you bring your own bags?"
>click Yes
>start scanning items
>"Sorry, I didn't recognise that last item. Please remove from the bagging area and try again."
>attendant comes over
>show them on screen where the 29p reduced petit filous definitely scanned
>they get their little scancard out and enter their password so they can override
>remember the stolen bag
>notice the price tag still on it
>hope the staff member doesn't notice and put two and two together
>speedwalk past security on your way out
>alarm goes off for the person behind you
>speed up on your way out to the carpark and avoid eye contact with anyone else

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This.
I can hold a lot of shit, but i always fly to close to the sun and drop something.

What is a neck tar card at Sainsbury's anyone knows? They keep bugging me for one was so annoying during my stay at UK.

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What sport is this? Sounds amazing

In America there are still some places that only allow swiping. Mostly really small places that don't want to pay for new technology or places that need to have very fast checkout and inserting takes too long (the processing of the card, not the physical task).

nectar card, you earn points as you spend and can then get a discount/rewards