Does Yea Forums text and shit?

Pics or it didn't happen.

based and redpilled

Yes.

It's a way to feminize men

how so? man was designed to sit

I don't see how sitting your ass on a filthy toilet seat is cleaner than standing at a safe distance.

why is your toilet seat filthy?

It's a bad idea to take your phone or a newspaper etc to the shitter, that's how you end up getting hemorrhoids because you'll be sitting there for ages stretching your anus open necessarily. Take your dump and then get out.

unnecessarily*

I dunno about you but my asshole isn't gaping the entire time I'm sitting. Does yours open completely just by sitting down?

i read comic books and shit

No but if I take my phone to the toilet I probably sit there for an extra 10-15 minutes after taking a shit, and obviously when you sit on a toilet you kind of naturally take a position that helps to open up your anus, almost in a squat.

Yeah, old reflex from when I was a sprog and used to sit on Uncle Jimmy's lap.

Attached: D0oQu7PWsAA_OsJ.png (500x522, 109K)

Well that's just wrong. Going to assume you're 300+

Technology has really fucked people up

It's not up for debate, sitting on a toilet for longer than necessary has a direct correlation with hemmeroids. Of course it's not the worst thing in the world but I'd rather not have an itchy asshole all the time.

One time I was messing around on my phone for so long while shitting that my legs fell asleep
It was hell

>sitting on a toilet for longer than necessary has a direct correlation with hemmeroids

In other news, driving an ice cream van has a direct correlation with sunny weather.

Sitting on the toilet causes your anus to relax and the veins to till with blood, causing tears. The longer you're on the toilet the more pressure you're exposing it to. You don't have to believe me but don't act all surprised when you finally get hemmeroids because you're squatting on the toilet for an hour every day.

What are your favorite toilet features when buying new? Comfort height? Elongated bowl? Pressure assist? Slow drop seat?

i think once when i was younger i literally fell asleep
when i woke my legs were gone too

My favorite time of the day at work is when I go to take a shit

How long do your shits take that you can't stay away from your phone?

I do this at home when I'm tired. Also, sometimes I wait long enough that I actually have to shit.

You're getting piss particles all over the place by standing up. Now THAT'S filthy.

Inb4 someone mentions aim. Splashback is a real thing, you idiot.

peeing standing up is the oldest meme in the world. why stand when you can sit?

i like a sit down piss when i'm at home. it's relaxing.