/heem/ - Permaheemed Edition

youtube.com/watch?v=awe17wZLP8c

Attached: schaub.gif (600x662, 657K)

Another fantastic One Championship event in the books. With 2.6 BILLION potential viewers, it is the largest MMA organisation in global history.

Just fight with your hands low bro what's the worst that could happen?

Attached: Karate meme ended.webm (1280x720, 2.93M)

MONEY LAUNDERING
MIESHA TATE AS THE COMPANY BICYCLE

Stop. I can only get so erect.

JOHNY HENDRICKS TAPPED TO GSP'S GUILLOTINE

JOHNY HENDRICKS TAPPED TO GSP'S GUILLOTINE

JOHNY HENDRICKS TAPPED TO GSP'S GUILLOTINE

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dude #handsdown bro

Attached: MvP btfo.webm (1280x720, 1.58M)

Why is Sage such a can, lads?
He has everything going for him - great genetics, loads of monetary support, good coaches, his life is entirely dedicated to fighting, hasn't had many injuries, given plenty of chances in big organizations, etc.

and last but not least: early stoppages

GLORY prelims starting. Good card

Cringe

Lel. Fuck Chatri and his bullshit.

Do you have a stream user?

>getting pushed into a corner as a karate guy?
>better dirty box with your eyes closed :D

This is always bad, but looks worse in a square ring with an actual corner.

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Favorite post-fight celebrations?

Attached: The Exorcism of Jack Hermanson.webm (982x552, 1.34M)

D*mn right and don’t you dare try to stop me

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DJ flips, Josh Barnet throat slashing, Derrick Lewis whatever-that-is.

Also this soldier marching.

Uh, sweaty....no
There were 2.6 billion potential *live* viewers, sure. But when you account for potential viewers of the replay it is literally infinite

TILL CALLS OUT LAWLER

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Absolutely based! Toilet Till™ finna get flushed by a boomer

youtube.com/watch?v=Bje_8Y7KUfM

Good fight, if Till is cleared for it.
Although common sense dictates he should rest more after being shadowrealmed.

Oh no no no Hobbie would heem this lad's career

Why does till hate his chin

Based Till volunteering for another spicy heem webm!

Attached: squid.png (397x391, 126K)

yeah i'm thinking this is based

based cazzie
More like robbie split decisions him lmao

PLEASE MISTER N-

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Cunt

When people hit me, I don’t fahkin move

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chael too slow (already weighted in)
youtube.com/watch?v=Y2FuSNqrqGI

Hello, ISS

youtube.com/watch?v=wfltikFvhWc

Attached: darren flushed till.jpg (1080x1339, 108K)

>Let's meet at flushed weight

We got Jamawl here clearly he's a black dewd

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WE'RE NOT HERE TO TAKE PART

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Have at it lads

Attached: lets ride.png (512x707, 754K)

Did Woodley get injured? While Robbie could heem both, the Toilet Till fight is a near guaranteed win if they stick to 170.

lmao

>Robbie could heem both

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Im not being funny here but it’s not going well for us lot with this not here to take part we’re here to take over count bispeng opened that trap door with his little hardman mate never went anywhere really we got hendo and a dodgy decision plus inches loser or legend didn’t he watch rock film anywhere then we get fucking Askham and his knights of Camelot he didn’t fit mould did he couldn’t pull in female fans shall we say then we had pimlocks and his gay arse knee he survives that then loses all because his head weren’t in right place left his oil treatment at home didn’t we don’t our Jimi manuwa he’s a hitter int he knocks me out or gets knocked out soon hits that top 3 jobs fucked then we’ve got our Darren does business at home then goes walk about again does too inverted swan dives one in America but that London one stings why you allowed people into secure areas Wembley arena just so you could advance Leon or does askren curly locks get you off that much you had to do them both a favour?

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>Robbie could heem Tyron
lmao who do you think he lost the belt to you fuckin cazzie

What’s next for him when he loses?

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the way I gotta was a way of being able for itself, and it had a little more significant things into it than it is the only thing I would want. The vat was lost and it had to exit to the exit within the vat of exit the exit within the vat and the vat was lost and it was the only exit to the vat and the exit of the vat is is within the exit the way the separation is is not being able for the exit to the exit within the vat of the vat within a certain degree degree in human consciousness or not a certain degree of certain level of certain way to the exit of exit the exit within the vat. The exit exit and I’ll exit the way to the realm.

>They forgot his last fight
I hope you don't forget how you called him the GOAT.

leave lawler to me

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>Robbie could heem them both
>Robbie, the only man who has managed to get heemed by Tyquil in half a decade

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He lost cause he got outwrestled lol

ONE or BKFC together with BJ Pin

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Did /myguy/ Sage lose?

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Yikes

Tyron's a bitch.
>me thumb
>uggh me thumb

Who needs a tum?

Sometimes I get the impression that /heem/ is a highly racist general thread. Everyone seems to unanimously root against any muslim fighters. Disappointing.

Petty based, finally a company with integrity and values I can get behind

Please tell me she was recording Sage

Here
Everyone
Enjoys
Muslims

Here's the official /heem/ rooting order:

White > Asian > Muslim > Black > Brazilian

Send him to One Championship.

> English

Name one muslim fighter who isn't a bum, a cutbabby wrassler, a homosexual, or all of those combined.
Jon GOAT Jones is a man of god. There will never be a mudslime GOAT, because God is a fight fan and would never allow it

Cant wait for Robbie to put his head on the canvas

Angela prefers to keep it in the family.

>Clinching the entire time.
He was up against the back of the cage and did nothing, that was hardly Usman putting on a masterful display of wrestling. The only fight Woodley looked good in since he got the belt was his Toilet Till fight, and we know where that train went.

youtube.com/watch?v=awe17wZLP8c full schaub special

Swap BR and muzzies

muslims worship the same god tho

White>Black-skinned white men>Asian>Ngubu black (when he is fighting ameriblack)>Mudmen>Ameriblack>brazilian monkeys

What if Stipe destroys DC?

Is he all of a sudden back in the GOAT HW/could-beat-JBJ discussion?

Or is he still just some HW.

It''ll be interesting to see what happens if he wins.
JBJ teased a Stipe fight a few days before JBJ/Santos was confirmed.
But maybe DC will want a trilogy with Stipe?

Who knows.

>White
Lol loser

Stipe is in the HW goat discussion and has far more credence in it than DCuck

He'll need to win the trilogy as well

Attached: DC clips some can.webm (1280x720, 2.93M)

MW. That being said, the only reason he had any success in WW was that he is a cutbaby who missed weight. In MW he has a terrible reach and all of his striking will be shit, and we know how his BJJ and wrestling are.

Yikes, couldn’t even make it 5 minutes. Definitely NOT a drawl, b.

Same way I felt about Gastelum, and look how far he got at MW.

kek

stipe is a can who knocked out a few bums/wrestled some boxer

Imagine if he gets morked by that gay pornstar

did sage fought this morning? how it was?

Gastelum's wrestling and BJJ isn't anywhere near as bad as Till's, especially defensively on the ground. Everyone knows how how to flush the Toilet Till after he has been exposed.

hilarious

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I made it only to the asian barber part and x'd out. They should play that entire special for prisoners at Guantanamo bay

Event of the year?

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>flat on the floor before the referee can even get in there
HEEM DEADY

>Modern day renaissance man

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Schaub is living proof that it’s not what you know, but who you know. Dude went from being a meat head bum in the UFC to having a comedy special on Showtime.
POWERFUL Joe Rogan
POWERFUL Bryan Callen

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I told you, Aoki can't do shit without pants

Attached: postbetter.gif (498x280, 3.23M)

>joe doing the intro
joe wipes this dudes ass b forshure

all 3 of them are about as funny as schaub though

He never had to struggle for it

15 mins in and I'm trying to watch this objectively. It's the worst standup I've ever heard.

>I need six weeks to miss weight

I think the real news is that Tyron hadn't signed yet.

TILL ABSOLUTELY BTFO BY SANTIAGO

Attached: poked.png (591x377, 56K)

We need a 175 division to accommodate big boy Till.

Based eyepokes man

wew, irreversible flushed by ponzi scheme

Seriously, what race is Schaub?

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based argentinian santa claus

flushed once again

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BY GOD HES DEAD
STOP THE FUCKING FIGHT HES DONE

Great power.
Stipe got FLUSHED.

HOW DO YOU DO

white

Want to see Ponzi fight again.

Who is Ponzi's manager there's no way he wrote that shit

>he came out of the bathroom, dude was asian as fuck *prances like a fag

I wish the crowd laughter wasn't edited in, legitimately curious how the crowd reacted to this loser

Haircut every week on Tuesday

Every week

Colby levels of savage

>You'd be surprised at the absolute state of cawlmedy in 2019

´ate brazilians
love brazilian jiu jitsu
simple as

Schaub is #cancelled

>my new barber is named jamal
>turns out he's asian as shit
>he messed up my hair cut
>i was too afraid to say anything so i was like "see you next week bro!"
>end of the bit

that's actually the first bit
about his regular barber jesus not being there
so he had to get cut by jamal

that was it bros
thawlts?
i don't mean to hate but if the rest of the special is actually like this...
why not give him a few more years
i mean really
wouldn't it be better for his career to do a few more years of this shit before getting a big special
why not release a 'mini' special on youtube first

fuck man
this is BAD

Leave Robbie to me

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>It’s a “Schlub gets clowned by an actual comedian and gets visibly offended” episode
streamable.com/j3tlu

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in schaub's defense, that was quite the fuccboi comment to make

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>knocking fat guys out
oh I disagreeeeee

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How you gonna make it in cawlmedy with thin skin and a yuge ego, my guy?

We can all agree now that Rizin > One > Bellator > Road FC > UFC > your local amateur promotion

IMAGINE watching wmma

How did he miss his jab?

Sofa King based

He was beating Big Ben until he lost

We shoulda made it a crater during the missile crisis

Toilet Till has some poowater yet to be flushed.

>Till
really disturbing how many people got hypnotized by Vinny Shoreman

Muslims arent a race. They’re a group of filthy animals

>lentz-oliveira
This episode again

GLORY is live right now bois

nooooo

muh uber chad

I thought you guys were exaggerating. Nope. Holy shit. I made it to the 5 minute mark.
>I'm so like a girl, I cut my hair often, hurr durr. So ghey...
>Jamal but ASIAN HOLY SHIT
Those are not skinny jeans. They're fucking yoga pants. What the shit? Is he really a closeted dude?

Well, Joanna is starved for male attention

Oof. Imagine being an former UFC fighter and people not being the slightest bit nervous to insult you right to your face. Also Shaub not going back at him makes him seem a bit like a bitch. All he could do was say "knocking fat guys out" instead of directly telling the dood he could knock his ass out fer sur b

GO ISRAEL!

Appreciate his broken brain for these decisions

ya just dont appreciate good calmedy bee whens your spheshiawl coming out ya homeless cat?

Lee looks massive at 170.

it's really not a big deal, have sex.

Rafael dos Anjos vs. Kevin Lee
Antônio Carlos Júnior vs. Ian Heinisch
Megan Anderson vs. Felicia Spencer
Vicente Luque vs. Derrick Krantz
Charles Oliveira vs. Nik Lentz
Davi Ramos vs. Austin Hubbard

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Schaub made more last year than the entire HW division not named DC combined. Fighting is for retards.

youtube.com/watch?v=l51I7sRk5gE

Embdeded

is this how 36 year old men in los angeles act? or is it how 16 year olds in los angeles act and he's trying to appeal to them?

You wouldn't understand because you're not a modern day Renaissance man.

much better for him at 170
youtube.com/watch?v=0qdySjlCt7U
youtu.be/K0MwX4a16_0?t=190

Rafael Dos Anjos
Antônio Carlos Júnior
Megan Anderson
Vicente Luque
Charles Oliveira
Davi Ramos

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*squeezes your fistbump*

Attached: 15064561485724.png (496x357, 286K)

rafael dos nachos
antoni
megan
vicente
oliveira
davi

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name one funny millennial comedian

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is that his mom?

Unironically the least funny thing I've ever seen. I'd rather watch Amy Schumer talk about her vagina for an hour.

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Kevin Pee
Antonio Fartos Junior
Megan Assderson
Vicunty Luque
Charles Pooliveria
Davi Rammyass

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I can't help but feel bad for him. He's honestly trying his best...

Yeah.

this would be great if they reviewed it on opie and anthony 10 years ago pausing it with colin quinn and patrice o'neal

could the room quiet the fuck down please

>Every UFC to ONE FC transfer gets smashed
>ONE has cancelled two events in China
Everything is falling apart for Chatty Sitawilabingbong. How long until we find out that he's triad affiliated and ends up in a Chinese prison for corruption charges?

I'm just not seeing it

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How do you guys deal with your diabetes while on a bulk? asking for a friend

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To be fair I think somebody with better timing and charisma could have pulled off some of those bits.

wtf kevin lee is white

Low Key Lee
ACJ
Meegan Canderson
Luque
Do-Bronx
Ramos

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oh no no no no

look at the top of his head

youtube.com/watch?v=sbMgca3Csi8

Sage is a can and DJ and Eddie had guys who looked a division heavier then them

Lots of one-sided fights on this weekend's card.
Bad card.

Woodley should just retire. He clearly has one foot out the door and Lawler was a great matchup for him.

It really is tho b

He fell for the karate meme.

Kevin's gonna knock him out round 2 tonight's the night

That boy looking thicccc

DC is still so destroyed about Jones beating him that he's projecting that insecurity and taking it out on Stipe. This dude is a nut, I don't even like Stipe, its just legit weird that he said he wants to do to Stipe what Jones did to him.

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Dan hardy is CANCELLED

Tony turned him white after he made him tap

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STOP THE THREAD

Guys, I am bringing you the LATEST, yes, the VERY LATEST photograph of Nanaka STRAIGHT from her Instagram (just a day old!).

No, it's beign based. He is confronting the issue directly. He is owning it.
DC/JBJ aren't even on for a trilogy though. There has only been ONE DC/JBJ fight with an official winner/loser. And we all know that JBJ was on juice for the first fight.

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Trump is more welcome at a UFC event than Dan Hardy and his shitty commentating.

how could she do in brazzers

Jon took out a mortgage in DC's head

Every time I see that annoying Ortega Modelo ad I feel happier knowing Max took him to CTE city.

This. Any black fighter who loses via submission revokes their black card

spicy first round

When they said refugee integration i didnt think they meant integrating them inside my wife and my wife's son

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They prolly shot another version with Roidtega winning the belt

thought they just got a dl added to their tag

She'd make your ears bleed.

huh?

down low niggas

Yet to see a single person with their own special day a bad thing about schaubs. Just a bunch of homeless cats

Confronting the issue by projecting it on to someone else? Regardless of who ever he's fighting even if it wasn't stipe, saying you want to do something to someone that was done to you by another (that something that made you cry in front of thousands) is a sign of insecurity and mental fragility.

This fight has nothing to do with Jon and he's actively bringing him up in interviews.

>day
You feeling alright there coral? Have you seen the dislike ratio on that video bee?

It's relevant though.

Stipe is getting a rematch, just like DC got a rematch. Stipe is obsessed about the rematch, just like DC was obsessed with JBJ.

What are other muslim fighters besides khabob? If there's some they are not very vocal about it

Jon will forever live in Daniel "Daniel Cormier" Cormier's head

There are a tonne of Muslim fighters from the Caucus mountains regions. I guess Taisumov is the next biggest one after Khabib.

Some young Muslim destroyed Prazeres in his UFC debut a couple of months back

Belal Muhammad
Islam Makhachev
Kamaru Poosman (not entirely sure though)

Daniel "Double Champ" Cormier
Jon "Turanibones" Jones

It's a real shame we didn't get to see Artem vs. Caceres

>Bang Halle Berry
>Get a beer commercial
>Not even champ

Shit ain't fair, bros

Tfw you realize Sage is a can

Attached: volkov_free_money.webm (1280x720, 2.94M)

Based brit
>she is a BJJ white belt
I tap thinking into submitting her with my dick

HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG
I want to marry Joanna so bad.

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looks like she’s enjoying retirement

2/10 fightfu

>Bang Halle Berry
He was about 12 years late on that. Now she probably has cobwebs in her ancient pussy. No surprise he lost.

You wouldnt take a sip of her spit?

Attached: halle berry.webm (954x400, 1.91M)

That guy looks like he bet on Volkov by decision xD

I'm the new John Wick

body would be 8/10 if the tits were real
but they're not so 2/10 would not bang

If she ain't a dyke, she can take a hike

Excellent taste.

Karate, heh. That's funny

youtu.be/2Zf01h5_ZpI

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>main fight
>both coming off losses

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>Schab starts his special by making a racist joke in front of a california audience
Beast of an awareness, as much awareness as he had in the octagon

There was no audience

RDA
Shoeface
Spencer
Luque
Do Bronx
Ramos

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kevin looks ripped as fuck even at 170
rda, even though he's been a 170er for much longer, looks a lot softer
is kevin lee gonna bros?

Stream for Sitthichai fight?

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just finished watching it bros
honestly... it's not that bad
it's not really funny
there's way too much talking
but... he's an okay storyteller

I would give her a boston cream if you know what I'm saying

whats her height?

My boy roberto fighting tommorow
any mma related news, havent been reading the last week

toletto till got destroyed on twitter by ponzi scheme

dos Anjos
Heinisch
Anderson
Luque
Oliveira
Ramos

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Neil Magny got nerfed by USADA
The Rizin card on the 2nd has been finalized
Sage and Aoki got BTFO hard this morning

This
not many have the streangth to dig themself outta shit, but only the greatest keep eating their shit whole despite earning enough to eat caviat for the rest of their life

Who can realistically beat her?

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could she beat conor bros?
thawlts?

My nigga Jair will be champ soon, you must accept it.

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Never realized Joanna had such a banging body. Can't ever see anything other than her horse face in pics. She should do all her photos like this with her face hidden

Megan Anderson down the line, maybe

Nobody has a good Martial arts documentary to watch ?

Holly will expose her. Cyborg just walked forward like a retard and didn't respect her power.

Cobra kai

Can't wait for my boy RDA to finally figure out 'le pressuring wrestler' meme and work that body so much he puts Lee on dialysis.

Oh fer ser just like Ronda could beat Floyd right b? I'm todally all about gender equality b I mean obviously a woman can be just as strong as a man of similar size I mean water we duin heur?

5'2"

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>Holm exposing anybody at this point in her career

I remembet watching on youtube how foreigners go to chinese tempels to learn martial arts and some cool fucking tricks
i wish i could

>kamaru fakenewsman

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diaz heems pettis

Warrior

Hey Lithbro, how come you don't attentionwhore about your training or fights anymore?

GET OUT OF THERE, ALAN

I firmly believe Gabi Garcia could heem 70-80-% here (me included)

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>heeming anyone when you don't ever fight

wouldve heemed poirier too but dustin pussied out

because I'm not lithcuck

How does any coach/gym take any pride in putting such a roided out fighter out there?

Fucking hell, good to hear. Here I'm thinking based Lithbro became another /pol/shitter

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based!

I'd like to see RDA just go out there and take Klee down in the first round. Obviously Klee is the better wrestler, but I think it'd catch him by surprise and RDA can actually work that top game he has but never uses because he always fights wrestlers and counter-wrestlers.

Well she has a huge size advantage on most people. It's the only way a woman would be able to heem a man. They would have to be roided up and way bigger than the man.

I agree with this. Very tough fight for Lee

Khabib sat and took a fookin propa shite on the bus

No one cares

Took a proper shit in Conor's mouth

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Weak up Paige

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sounds like lithcuck is an apt name then

I was rooting for Conor after Khabib bullied Artem but changed back to Khabib after the press conference and all the bs that Conor was saying

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Who's watching Sitthichai Vs Grigorian

t. kazem
conor was saying straight fax

Is that Game of Thrones? Wrong board, friend.

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Hey Megan,
How you doing? And how is Joseph?
You've done that greasy little manlet a real favour in dating him for so long. Have you thought about what's next once he gets cut from the UFC (and the paychecks start shrinking) ? He'll probably have to move out to Japan to compete in One and live in some little manlet Tokyo apartment. Does that mean we won't see you on UFC any more if you move out to Japan with him? I sure hope not. Why are you dating a filthy manlet anyway?
I'll drop you my Snapchat and you can hit me up if you decide you don't want to take a one-way ticket to Japan ;)

Love,
A fan.

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>She got beat by another woman, therefore she couldn't beat a man
Illogical argument. And you're aware that there was an MMA fight like roughly a year ago where a chick choked some guy out, right?

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That guy was an untrained retard with zero fight/exercise experience

>Broken foot
Doesn't count

RDA had a broken foot, not conor.

The first post made no mention of skill level, only size. Don't back track now, goof.

Mexican

Stream link for glory kickboxing?

>Wake up Kebab it's all over. You think weight cutting is your ally. You merely adopted being a cutbabby. I was born into it. Molded by it. I never saw a fighter my size until I was already a man and it was nothing but blinding.

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reddit.com/r/ufc/comments/bd06tb/footage_of_conors_broken_foot_what_do_u_guys_think/
Just accept that Khabib fought a disabled man and could never in a million years beat prime Conor

I'm not that guy, I should have made it clear, my apologies. Either way, Ronda would NOT beat Floyd or any man in decent fighting shape.

khabib had seizures

In an MMA match? Think you'd be surprised bee.

I knew that would happen to Sage, Cosmo was a horrible matchup for him.

>reddit
You're really trying here, I can tell

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sittachai getting worked right now

What would ronda do? She couldn't really do anything dragging holly down. Are we talking identical size/weight?

>the virgin toilet till head spike
>the chad super sage face slide

Bro we're obviously talking about fighters not just random goofs of the street. The first post mentioned Conor and the next one mentioned Floyd, but you're out here pointing out that randos could lose to a girl. We gettit. I bet you go to Chili's to order fajitas just so you can be the man of the hour so everyone will be like "woa snap crackle pop look at the big fajita man over here". You'll never be a drawl with that kind of attitude b.

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Petrosyan lost

I think a woman with good wrestling (Andrade or Suarez for example) would beat Connor.

Holly has elite grappling dude. Floyd has probably never stepped foot on a mat in his life.

>I-I didn't say it, b-but it's obvious
Say what you mean, mean what you say. M'kay? Don't ever come sideways at me again, cotton picker.

reminder, this man is so good he beat yoel Romero with a broken hand

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"buv" haha based, I remember Till trying to say Ponzi was ducking him

Can anyone explain that picture where Tony Ferguson is uncomfortably close to some ugly kid with a stupid hat on? Wtf was going on there

Andrade is 5'1 she wouldn't be able to touch Conor. Water we evun duin heur?
Listen b if you want to be a drawl you gotta understand subtext. I can't jus be out here explaining everything to everyone because some autist doesnt get subtext. We gettit it's tawlf to take everything literally, but sometimes you gotta use context clues to understand that you're the goof. I can't be out heur doin this I gotta wach game of thrones and do stand up b it's tawlf.

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If UFC was fair they would just have Vincente Luque fight Lawler since he keeps losing his ranked opponents. But I think Edwards would be the smartest choice.

Reminder Poel is 42 and doesn't want to fight anyone besides Shittaker because he knows he'd be exposed as a flushed old man. Shittaker has only fought Poel the past two years so he has to hype him up every chance he gets.

>MMA fight like roughly a year ago where a chick choked some guy out
was a trump supporter so he hardly qualifies as a man

Horrible take desu

Yoel would heem any 42 year old on earth

and i would heem you!

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looks good with the hat like that

They weren't surprised

Hermansson beats Poel

RDA
ACJ
Spencer
Luque
Oliveira
Ramos

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heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeem

HEEEEEEEM

>Heemed by a literal can in strikeforce
>Decisioned twice by a welter-weight

le invincible cuban super hero XD

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Aspenn Ladd

wtf are you watching

Please tell me Alex won

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lol

Based

I think I was surprised

Nice Friday night you've got going on there blud.

Cat Zingano
Alexis Davis
Sarah D'Alelio
Ana Maria Índia
Valentina Shevchenko
Aspen Ladd
Jessica Andrade

Worst poster on /heem/ and a mega caz

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he scored a high kick knockdown and immediately after the 8 count he landed the flying knee KO

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You won't be laughing when Amanda is tapping to strikes from Aspenn's vicious ground and pound

It's out and it's terrible
youtube.com/watch?v=awe17wZLP8c

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LMAO
But now Brendan can just use the excuse of ‘internet trawls’ review bombing his awful special. Even though it’s just not a drawl.. Whatelsey’got chin?

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True, I'll be fapping

recreating rich vos' standup cringe from 25 years ago down to the embarrassing outfit

I think none of us were really surprised

>literal mustache
s(he) wants to have a baby i hope she won't be carrying it because it will be unbelievably ugly no matter who else is involved

RDA
ACJ
MEGAN
LUQUE
LENTZ
RAMOS

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Where in the fucking hell do you see a mustache you closet homo?

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Shevchenko beat her twice.
Cyborg most likely wins the rematch if it happens.
Megan beats her once she gets more experience.
Andrade too small and loses.

BASED LEAF POSTERS

Thank goodness

>Shevchenko beat her twice.
wew

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Alhassan vs Luque would've been good.

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>tfw no supportive sister gf

>proceeds to turn in such a timid performance that even Woodley would be disgusted

I want Luque to fight a top 10 guy

for me, me its quite funny

Yes

yay

Luque vs Lawler would be insane, but since he lost to Edwards I guess Edwards deserves it more.

Joe Rogan is fucking sadistic for pulling the strings to get him onto big stages like this 3 years in. He's fucking awful. He needs a decade of practice before sniffing this kind of thing. Oh well, time to cringe,

youtu.be/MUuhhX4hUgI

How do you think you'd do against me in standup?

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Any RDA webms?

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I think you'd be surprised

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Based Robbie being a human punching bag for our entertainment

>le wing hooks then shoot a double man
What a boring fighter

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>RDA? I heard his mom has tickets

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based colby beating the snot out of that animal

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Colby is a badass fighter

HEAD MOVEMENT

>double
Clearly shooting a single

Based

RDA's heart is insane the amount of times he got back up against Colby and Usman. Truly a fighters fighter. He's going to pour it on late against Lee.

>shut up before I ankle pick you
alpha as fuck

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i unironically believe werdum is just as mentally unstable and likely to kill his family

I heard he walks around at 3000 lbs

Tony is crazy

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Just heard the Sage news
LARGE yikes

Chatri signed two flops

Now that Masvidal vs Till happened does anyone change their mind about RDA beating Till?

bruhs...

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Americans look like THAT?!

DONT YOU EVER SAY ANYTHING ABOUT MY MUM EVER AGAIN

i wonder what her brother does for a living. how tf do you come back from that

Bad match up for Rafael. Till is huge, manages distance well, and lets not forget he dropped Masvidal early and was doing good in that fight

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wake up bird brains, it's all over

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>lets not forget he had one good punch against a fat lightweight before getting flatlined
Cool

The difference here is that Joe Rogan is actually likable and somewhat relatable. His comedy may not be great but he gets a pass for the most part.

Barnaby Schweppes on the other hand..

>manages distance well
Sort of. He leaves his chin out in the air and relies on his height to lean out of the way of punches. That's how Masvidal caught him, he timed his lean because Till is a limited, formulaic fighter and gets into the same habits. Also Till isn't going to push RDA against the cage and threaten/shoot for TDs, he'd stand and strike with him. RDA is one of the best in the world when people don't pressure-wrestle him, see Pettis, Lawler, Cerrone, Bendo fights.

>Joe Rogan is actually likable
Stopped reading there.

I don't think it's bad.

It's been 4 yrs since RDA won via ko/tko and only has 5 in 39 fights

...

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I thought he heemed Magny but it turns out he choked him out. He dropped him if I recall.

So?

>i get impatient like a long bid -get so vexed i hit the wrong kid
>shit gets awkward, like i'm on a drug and I can't get off it

just heem things

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Feel a little bad for big brown desu

Why bring up the masvidal fight when it's not likely that RDA will knock him out. Till was winning. He cracked him early, landed some clean shots, and even took him down

so if ONE is based and redpilled, what does that make ufc?

gay mafia

You need a traumatic childhood to be a real fighter

Is that Rose

ONE FC is antiwhite (and therefore B&R)

>everybody calling out robbie lawler like he's an easy fight now

yea

brendan schaub just blocked me on instagram

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*makes you look like a can*

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askren was out

khabib had seizures

big titty went home

not gonna lie think i could beat the guy

>Choked unconscious by Bum Asscreamed
>Got laced up by a 155 manlet
>Heemed dead by Toilet Tyrone

I'm only 1 min 37 sec in. Skits are still going. What can I expect?

Because Masvibum flatlined him. RDA can hang with or exceed him anywhere

I invented Jacapoo

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>'It reminded me of Rich Vos' early standup except Vos was better dressed'
>blocked by Schaub's instagram janitor in literally 1 minute

Get off the stage!

Cant be worse than amy schumer?

THIS IS WORSE THAN SUSICAL

For me, it’s Brindhosh Singh, the best standup sneaker connoisseur

A lot of stores about things that happened to Brendan. Here's the quick breakdown:
>Time Brendan got a bad haircut
>Time Brendan watched the Hulkogan sexed ape
>Time Brendan got super high on edibles and went to McDawnawlds
>Time Brendan went to Texas and all the racist Texans thought he looked like a homo
and then finally
>That time Brendan's dad forced him to do football and then forced him to do MMA when all he ever wanted to do was be a stanup cawmedian which leads in to him recounting the Browne fight

Broom sweep

youtube.com/watch?v=MylhoTBrLrI

if she wrote these jokes she's funnier than schaub

>zsazsishional comic

I bet you got blocked by a bunch of other people at the same time

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schaub is like the guy who used to bully real comedians

comedy wasn't his dream it was the last resort

doubtful, roast jokes are rarely written by the person that performs them

you'd be surprised

But Uncle Dana told us Savior Sage was supposed to bring balance to the force, not leave it in darkness

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checked

Oh, come on. It's not that bad. I'm enjoying the racial humor so far (5:00).

patrice talked about that roast he said he just wrote some stuff on the plane and made up the rest as he went along

nudes when?

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is that sasha grey?

yeah but he was an actual comedian and knew how to roast

The ending is straight up revisionist history. He basically says he never wanted to play football or fight and his dad forced him to, then he says he knew he was going to quit fighting and go into comedy in the locker room after Browne. He named the special "You'd Be Surprised" in reference to him saying he thought he could beat Cain Velasquez in a wrestling match after the Browne fight. He downplayed Rogan retiring his ass bigly.

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I wonder if Perrier has a sister named Remy

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My MMA nickname would be "the Taser Trigger"

Nunes became overrated after she beat Cyborg. She lost to Cat Zingano and was gifted a boring decision over Schevchenko. He second "belt" isn't even from a real division.

Schaub is fucking hilarious this just proves it
youtu.be/awe17wZLP8c

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Peach of a cawlmedy fan right here! Cheeto dust h8ers BTFO

SOON

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Tony's walk around weight is actually closer to 4000 pounds he should be a heavyweight.

Go to bed Sophie

I want to go gentle into the that good night choked between her thighs,lads.

Lose weight gain employment

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That's a genuinely good line lol

Whatever happened to that """"""judoka"""""""""' wanting all throws to be an automatic TKO? Did we bully him too much?

Having a panic attack rn lads. I don't know if I should pick RPeeA or Kevin Pee..

stopped it at the "took such strong weed man"

RDA thank me later user

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lee is a munster

Schaub actually does seem gay, watching this. I think Twitchy may be right.

unironically, how would he do in the ufc?

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Tbh some of the jokes are actually funny the worst part is his terrible delivery.

99% of "mma" heavyweights are sloppy bum boxers anyway
+stipe is a chinlet and dc is 5ft9

champ in 3 fights

Who are the most cte'd young ish fighters (no schaub)

i would agree, but isn't he like 6'8? any hw with a tiny bit of wrestling would beat him

max hollaway

How old were you when you started watching MMA?

I've gained weight but also gained employment

hot take

but probably the correct one

cut back on the sugar

I still say RDA wins, he is way too skilled to just get stuck against the cage and caught with the same 1 2 over and over. He would've adapted just like Masvidal did.

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Anyone got the Sage getting flushed webm?

His legs are too skinny he would be easy for any hw to take down and if he tried to fight at LHW Jon would kill him.

previous thread

I'd like to show her my heem hammer if you know what I mean

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I'm 29 now and was about 6 or 7 when I started.

Heeminder

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Would be pretty helpful if there was a link, huh

that adderall script is working wonders

Right here, idiot

grow up before i bury you, airplane.

Fuck you retard

billie and eilish pilled

18 I’m 19

about 12, 22 now

Tfw I can't remember first UFC event I watched, I think it was Diaz vs Penn...

It's because I finish work so late I am too lazy to cook anything so I just eat junk. Today I finished at nine so I got a drive through and two packs of crisps for tea. Not good. Plus I used to do bjj every night but because of the hours I work I can't do that anymore. Need to find something else I can do in the mornings.

BJ Penn, huh? Now THAT'S a fighter.

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>weighs 220 lbs

A link to the previous thread is very useful, which is why there's one in every other general

How does Tony fight at LW when he's literally a light heavyweight?

He's a munster my guy

i will make the next thread so you guys can use your time in a more productive way

much appreciated *touches my balls*

Please no schaub OP

I was worried I wasn't gonna have time to gadoosh one to Aspen. Thanks, mexibro.

I mean water we duin with barbers named jamawwl bee

Then he got knocked down and then he tapped lol

where would /heem/ be without schaub unironically. Would it still be the peach of a general that we know today?

based

NEW

didn't he get choked out from the bottom like a bitch?

Grow up

And Nuevo

Waiting for the proper thread

He actually walks around at 250 he should be fighting at heavyweight. Should be illegal what he's doing lads.

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dumb canuck

Be the OP you want to see in the world

If he fought at heavyweight, he would get ragdolled and submitted within 2 minutes by DC, or really anyone in the top 10. At LHW, he gets ragdolled by anyone in the top 30.

>rushes straight down the pipe
>wins
>Andrade rushes straight down the pipe
>wins
Is head movement and dodging a meme?

Anyone half-decent at wrestling or Jiu Jitsu will have him submitted within 2 minutes of the first round. Of course you'd have to get past his reach and top notch boxing skills.

Aldo running into the crowd in Brazil is pretty unbeatable.
2. Elkins after his KO of Bektic
3. Zingano after getting blacked by Amanda for 2 rounds

bumped into her and her new husband while they were in Albuquerque for their wedding, and holy shit she's cuter in real life

Absolutely 0 IQ, he didn't get knocked out in a fight that he was seriously rocked several times by a MUCH bigger man.
Till might be there, Adesanya has a shockingly shit chin, PICO IS #1 SCHAUB CHIN

Wrong. Leg kicks until he’s taken out in a wheelchair

>Former world champion has absolutely no answer for "Swing fists until they back up then shoot for a takedown" strategy

Big yikes

A pot of soup

Jesus, mirin that chin