/trans/ - Necks > Ass > Tits edition

>The fears of Crystal Palace fans that Wilfried Zaha might have played his last game for the club against Bournemouth last Sunday appear justified, if a report in Thursday’s Daily Mail is to be believed. By their account, the 26-year-old winger has told the club’s owner, Steve Parish, that he wants to leave Selhurst Park for pastures new in order to play Champions League football. In an interview with the Mail last month, Zaha made his ambitions clear. “For me to be better, to achieve what I know I’m capable of, I have to aim to play at the very highest level, to win trophies,” he said. Potential suitors can initially expect to be charged up to £80m, a fee Zaha is concerned could price him out of the market. In speculation that could send Palace fans over the edge altogether, Manchester United are rumoured to be eyeing up their full-backs Aaron Wan-Bissaka and Patrick van Aanholt.

United are also reported to be “closing in” on a deal for Swansea’s lightning fast midfielder Dan James. The 21-year-old, who had the plug pulled on a move to Leeds in the closing hours of deadline day in January, was still wanted at Elland Road but won’t be going there now Marcelo Bielsa’s side have been consigned to another year in the Championship after losing their play-off semi-final against Derby. United have also been repeatedly linked with a move for the Borussia Dortmund winger Jadon Sancho, but the German club insist the 19-year-old, who is not particularly keen on joining a club in an apparent state of turmoil, is going nowhere. Due a major overhaul this summer, United have also held talks with Monterrey’s Mexican midfielder Carlos Rodríguez.

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Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=gm2LuwMwdYc&list=PLhjLO-ekrsRsuMz4lsW-mNy600vtJpyuy&index=6&t=0s
instagram.com/evie.erikson/?hl=en
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adam_Rainer
twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

>The Bayer Leverkusen winger Julian Brandt has caught the eye of Tottenham’s manager, Mauricio Pochettino, whose notoriously parsimonious boss Daniel Levy is likely to be more amenable to paying the £21m release clause on the 23-year-old’s contract when the alternative is taking a far more expensive punt on a certain injury-prone Welsh winger who is surplus to requirements at Real Madrid. Barcelona have decided to cash in their chips on Philippe Coutinho following the Brazilian’s underwhelming sojourn at the Camp Nou. Chelsea, Manchester United, Juventus and Paris Saint-Germain are forming an orderly queue for his services.

Following Gonzalo Higuain‘s failure to pull up any trees while on loan at Chelsea from Juventus, the Argentinian is likely to be sent back to Juventus. The future of Maurizio Sarri, the man who brought him to Stamford Bridge, also remains up in the air and the Italian could lose his job even if Chelsea win the Europa League. The Watford manager, Javier Gracia, is being considered as a potential replacement should Sarri be handed his P45. And finally, Rafael Benítez will hold talks with Mike Ashley about his future – or lack of one – at Newcastle on Thursday, while West Brom remain hopeful that Chris Hughton will take the vacant manager’s job at the Hawthorns.

>hurr me copypaste from guardian me so funny durr

Nicolas Pepe is our generations Messi

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Villa or Derby, who's getting promoted?

hopefully derby

What kind of food should I transfer to my stomach?

I've accepted it's going to be villa because Derby would be too fun

>The Bayer Leverkusen winger Julian Brandt
>winger

derby would break their own record low points total if they went up

any updates on the De Ligt to Liverpool situation?

Get yourself a chinky lad

Edwards is on it now la

>Dutchlad didn't reply to me about my question about our /trans/ Day in the Life and the Carvey image
Why lad?

I don't think there are any good ones here, last one I tried boiled their food to mush.

Where is van de Beek going la?

Zaha is incredibly overrated at this point. Not even a top 10 player outside the top 6

He should stay at ajax desu

I hope him,Hakim and neres all stay desu

Try a trans chinky lad, a.k.a. Thai food

>Poch
>Alderaweed
>Vertonghen
>Kane
>Lloris
>Sissoko
>Son
>Moura
>Brandt
not bad

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Got any player that needs buying

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If you want it so bad, make it yourself

t. Not the photoshop dutchposter

idc about ajax but would be better for van de beek

>doesn't get it
He's our /trans/ photoshop lad. He's a tradition. He's for US. The 'do it urself' meme is awful. He's the good guy. The regulars are all good guys.

Madrid are going to sign all the chads this summer ffs

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>hazard
>chad

I remember when Zaha, while playing for Manchester United, fucked Moyes' daughter and was removed from the team. Fucking kek.

52m

How the fuck do they do it?

Put him bum on pogba's body, with jovic's neck and face and you have giga chad

Cringe

Get a room already

are you that angry dutch cunt who's posting in every thread about brit flags because spurs beat ajax? lmao, state of fucking you.

someone's jelly

Virgins

>fighting in a /trans/ thread

get the fuck outta here you clog wearing faggot

>notoriously parsimonious
haha yeah

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Who will be this summers /trans/ winner and who will be the /trans/ loser?

he's getting mad in several threads over spurs beating ajax and city being outed as an oil club.

City/United winners Arsenal losers.

YB after making good money on half their squad, and YB after selling off half their squad

winner will be ajax. they are going to sell half their squad for around 500 million

Loser will be United after buying Bale, Dybala and Boateng for 300 million

Do you rate Dybala?

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Arsenal won't be signing anyone good, that's for sure.

As reported by @EuroUnited6 & @ManuLonjon: bit of an internal crisis developing at Rennes - Julien Stéphan seriously questioning his future.

>Sky Germany are tonight reporting that Eintracht Frankfurt striker Luka Jović will join Real Madrid for €60 million & will sign a 5-year deal

Valencia will sign Real Madrid striker Mariano Diaz this summer should they qualify for the Champions League, report Diario AS.

>Inter midfielder Joao Mario has been sent home from training after showing an alleged lack of effort.

Italy has scrapped its early transfer window as the summer market for its clubs will be open between July 1 and September 2.

>Atalanta boss Gian Piero Gasperini has reportedly agreed to become Roma’s next Coach.

Julian Brandt is expected to join Borussia Dortmund if he decides to leave Bayer Leverkusen this summer, Sky Sports News understands.

>Tomasz Kuszczak, Greg Stewart and Cheikh Ndoye are set to be released by Birmingham.

Paulo Dybala’s brother has claimed that the forward wants to leave Juventus this summer.

>Barcelona are tracking Angel Gomes as he approaches the final year of his Manchester United contract, according to the Manchester Evening News.

Hopefully Derby so Villa have to sell Grealish

He’s very talented but his attitude stinks.

>Arsenal won't be signing anyone, that's for sure.
FTFY

I suppose it's easy for United to "win" when pretty much any signing will be an improvement. I don't think any top class player will go there though. Career suicide

France vs. Italy: Under-17 EURO stream:
youtube.com/watch?v=gm2LuwMwdYc&list=PLhjLO-ekrsRsuMz4lsW-mNy600vtJpyuy&index=6&t=0s
youtube.com/watch?v=gm2LuwMwdYc&list=PLhjLO-ekrsRsuMz4lsW-mNy600vtJpyuy&index=6&t=0s

Lots of future Ngubu's on show, so PL fans better start scouting them early

Why do Arse fans make such victims of themselves when it comes to transfers? Spurs survived a self-imposed two window transfer ban and they're fine

>video unavailable in your country

Godin to Inter.
Tierney to Lestah.

Book it.

Because this isn't just a two season thing. If you go right back to the PL start, Spurs have spent more than Arsenal in total. If you look at chairmen investment stats (ie, who has given money to their club to fund transfers) Arsenal is the only PL club with 0%(ZERO).

because Arse don't have Poch to make something out of nothing

lads ive been trying to post but Yea Forums keeps telling me upload failed, what do i do?

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because Poch has the Spurs academy and had to give youths a chance to go well, whilst Arsenal's academy was plagued by injuries to all their promising players and the ones that HAVE made it to the first team are gash.

With UK leaving the EU, Prem clubs gotta wait for them to turn 18 instead of 16 to sign them legally

It's easy. You don't fail the upload

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Who's that, I feel like I've seen her face before

Quick rundown: lots of blacks

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Need that screen edited to /trans/.

We do. If we only had some kind of based dutchman to carve us these shops

no clue

Neither of the guys either side of the player in yellow shorts are U17. Come the fuck on

Whats this bint browsing? Actually nevermind that need everyone to know that I'd cum on her legs

sadly the only dutch we have is the clogwog shitposter

Derby for the memes
Villa for the unironically

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The hero we need

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Can you even satisfy a grill like that if you don't have an 8" x 6" dick BREHS...

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>With UK leaving the EU, Prem clubs gotta wait for them to turn 18 instead of 16 to sign them legally
How will Liverpool tap up all the 16 year olds from abroad now?

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If Everton can't hold on to Digne, Gomez, or Richarlison, they are definitely /trans/ losers.

I hope you weren't pretending to not be the Dutch shopper earlier.

Digne to spurs pls

Has she done porn?

Everton could realistically win the league you know

Real /trans/ posters don't reveal their secrets

(It wasn't me, there's a bunch of Dutch posters)

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That was my greatest meme I ever made. The other is a secret and depends on the CL result.

thank you based photoshop bro. Are we doing another eatery collage this year?

>Everton could realistically win the league you know
Honestly, yes. Look at their results against top 6 sides. A few tweaks to the defense are all they need.

You're a true hero

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Post insta

instagram.com/evie.erikson/?hl=en

reverse image search

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This is exactly how I picture all of you. :)

>Track & XC FSU 23’
ah fuck i don't have a shot

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>that's why you don't have a shot

KEK

Same grill

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Imagine licking her tummy

she gets blacked

This, but unironically

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Imagine being within 20m of her trying to get a whiff.

is this the same girl?

It's from her insta, so I'd assume so

My job interview went well today

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What's the job lad?

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Luka Jovic has completed a £52.4m (€60m) move to Real Madrid from Eintracht Frankfurt,

The 21-year-old Serbia international striker has signed a five-year contract with the Spanish giants, which will earn him £18.7m a year.

weren't they putting off the annnoucement until after the last matchday?

>they'll pay Jovic £18.7m/year
>apparently wont pay Pogba €15m/year

pogba would also cost them 240m, jovic is cheap

casting couch tester

jovic > poobag

so you get fucked in the ass before they start shooting to test out the couch?

Are you the dutch izombie guy maybe?

That's kind of low.

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>will earn him £18.7m a year
more than greaseman lmao

he is the dutch izombie/riverdale/barry/trans poster

apparently bayern and united tried to buy jovic so thats why his wage is so high. having to outbid united on wages cant be easy

Who's Barry?

doubt bayern were in for him

She looks like she _____ _____ ____

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post moar white cuties like this
i need to follow new ones on IG

...likes large cars?

Why wouldn't they be? Lewandowski isn't getting any younger

I don't know the details. I haven't gotten the job yet, I just did the interview

that's why they're going after a guy willing to play second fiddle, like werner.

loves her mom

Werner would be a shit choice for them though. He lives off exploiting space, which he won't get playing for Bayern

doesn't wear that swimsuit to get a tan

SUCKS BLACK COCK

depends on the opponent. a werner would be a nice option against top teams.

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go back to Yea Forums

?

fucking hell i need a girlfriend

almost as much as [spoiler]Spurs need some CMs[/spoiler]

Tbh I fully expect them to go for Haller in a couple of seasons time

He's accusing you of posting underage girls
Because Yea Forums is known for being a bit noncy

What's next for Ryan Babel? His contract at Fulham is up

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shan't be giving him any (you)s then

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careful guys. the porn deleting Janny is online. hide your sexy lady pics

>Allison is go--

will be a single mom

Matthijs de Ligt is just the Aryan Eder Militao

Do you think jannies hate fun because they're jannies or do they become jannies because they hate fun?

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madrid got played, this is a kid with one good season and they are paying him 20m
that's not far from alexis' wages lmao

he said this before that game
"Virgil has definitely developed over the past few years," Babel said. "I think he can get better by 30 per cent. I still feel he plays on 70 per cent. He can do much more. He can be fast if he wants.

"He does have a weakness, I don't want to say what it is. I don't think in the Premier League anyone has made that aware yet."

see you in 2 years when he scores a league winning goal

Is his weakness that he's not even a top 20 cb and has worse stats than mustafi?

>Necks > Ass > Tits

He's right, Van Dyke is still not the complete defender. All you have to do is watch the first barca - liverpool game to see that, he pretty much stood still whilst Messi blitzed past so he could keep his precious "muh no dribble" stat. That said, he is a definite upgrade on Lovren and Matip

so on top of the high wages they'll have to wait two years? lmao absolutely scammed

dabs on all defenders

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>Liverpool believe their team's effectively complete, but there's a need to strengthen at left-back. Bristol City's Lloyd Kelly has been looked at. Decisions are to be made on loan players including Wilson. VVD should be the next for a contract extension. There is no set transfer budget- Paul Joyce
>no set transfer budget
MESSI IN
Also VVD contract extension is interesting, the guy has four more years on his contract, joining Firmino on a lifetime contract?

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Even more overrated than van Dijk

Reminder to listen to sky sports transfer talk and laugh at how out of touch they are

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>Real Madrid ‘make contact’ with Liverpool over stunning Mohamed Salah transfer once Eden Hazard joins
>Liverpool, Arsenal, BvB are considering buying Zaha.... for £80m
Fuck sake lmao.
>Christian Eriksen and Fernando Llorente could make way for Andre Gomes and Ryan Sessegnon
>Atletico Madrid targeting Arsenal striker Alexandre Lacazette to replace Antoine Griezmann
>Atletico Madrid plot move for Chelsea defender Marcos Alonso to replace Filipe Luis

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>>Real Madrid ‘make contact’ with Liverpool over stunning Mohamed Salah transfer once Eden Hazard joins
>>Liverpool, Arsenal, BvB are considering buying Zaha.... for £80m
fugg :DDD

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>Zaha

le step over and lose the ball man

People should know better than to buy Fergie rejects for large sums of money. Sir Alex knew when a player didn't have the right mentality and got rid of them.

I don't get this Zaha meme. He's shit. Arsenal could do a lot better than him for £80m. Liverpool should go back to getting Fekir.

>Kelly can also play centre back
SIGN THIS MAN

>People should know better than to buy Fergie rejects for large sums of money. Sir Alex knew when a player didn't have the right mentality and got rid of them.
But Fergie bought him and he arrived under Moyes and then went back to palace

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He's the modern day Le Tissier.

At the very least the Dortmund part is absolute bullshit, considering it's looking like they're spending around £45m with another possible £20m.

So overhyped by certain supporters, incredibly lazy and nowhere near the quality top teams need?

just ruined all opinions of toothpaste flags desu

Also the only thing separating his club from certain relegation.

Liverpool too, Zidane wants Mane and Liverpool will never buy Zaha.

Zaha is well known enough to have people constantly talk about him, but obscure enough that no one pays attention to his downsides. If he actually wants to move his most realistic target is Everton.

.

apparently nothing is agreed and Atletico let it slip he was leaving because he was planing another LA DECISION documentary

It seems Zidane isn't very excited about Eriksen, and Real Madrid would rather get him for free when his contract ends next year.

RM hasnt really done well with "10"s, they didnt do their best with Isco, James, Ozil and Sneijder

eriksen hasn't been good this season.

madrid need so much help i dont know where they can start desu. what do you think they will go for assuming hazard and jovic are done

wut?

yes

don't know about that

he's been pretty good
dele alli however...

>dele alli however...
I hope he's on the bench in the final

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It's just 'Dele' now

2 goals and 4 assists in Champions league
8 goals and 12 assists in Premier

not really bad (+ what he did for his national team)

Basically, it seems Zidane wants Pogba and is very meh about Eriksen.

>Trabzonspor goalkeeper Ugurcan Cakir could be joining Liverpool in the summer, according to Turkish outlet Ajansspor.

>he's been pretty good
hasn't impressed me when I watched spuds.

liverpool are fucking memers. why do they never sign a normal player

Loftus-ngubu ruptured his Achilles tendon.

to be fair poch is a retard and plays him as a CM to shoehorn in alli

good.

Trying to build the ultimate meme team, Kelly and Cakir are elite though.

No, it's bad.

yeah, that's been bothering me too. He's wasted playing so deep.

>my opinion matters more than statistics

apparently real madrid agree with me.

Worse than PSG

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>stats are the most important aspect
let's play spot the north american

>tf
>tp

Tielemans, Zaniolo, Van der Beek to spurs when lads?

who would you rather have in Eriksen's place

You know it's true.

reminder that you shouldn't reply to americans

alli, unironically

sissoko. eriksens skills arent needed nor translate to CM

>Zaha
Dear Jurgen Adolf Klopp we have enough Mbombos in our club , please buy someone that is white.

based

*finishes 5th*

Hot Take: Wolves and Everton will make the Premier League have a top 8 instead of a top 6

The 40%

Everton could realisticlly win the league you know

Everton won't do shit

>Everton

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>Everton

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we are big spenders now. you wont be laughing soon enough cunts

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*buys another #10*

Spending millions on shite though la
Sigurdsson is the only top player in the squad

>Everton

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Well if you dont spend big you might get a cl-final :)

Memes aside why are Everton underperforming so much

Everton DNA la

Retard transfers

Lads isn't the weather just sublime. My tan is so whopper I'm gonna start using black emojis on whatsapp. Three cheers for global warming

It's too hot

Sleep tight /trans/

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As an Everton fan this is the right answer, but only because Steve Walsh and Koeman are the retards. I'm interested to see what Silva and Brands can do with a transfer window of their own, hopefully we can at least keep Gomes / Zoomer.

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Shit players

How do you rate richallison?

you too buddy :)

>"He does have a weakness, I don't want to say what it is. I don't think in the Premier League anyone has made that aware yet."
If I were a PL rival of Liverpool, I would pay millions to get this secret out of Babel. It could be the difference when facing Liverpool next season.

Babel is a lifelong though.

A bit on and off, but he wins matches when he's on his game. People also forget he's 22 so he's still got his best years ahead of him.

Well he didn't bother to tell his Fulham team mates

Pretty much all of the transfers done in the first window by Brands and Silva have been great. Richarlison and Digne had an instant impact; Bernard took a bit of time to get used to the league but is now working great in the system, Virgínia is going to be the backup keeper and has got a lot of talent; Gomes and Zouma have obviously been great loan players and both are good enough to stay on if the transfers can go through.

Mina is the only one with a questionmark looming over his head. He has had injury problems which kept him out of the side so we will have to see how he develops next seasons.

marry kill fuck

Mina I think struggle only because Zouma was better. If he got a better run in the team and formed a partnership with Keane he could still come good.

Brands has the issue now really of deciding whats more important: Keeping Gomes and Zouma or strengthening other parts of the team (RW, CF, CDM). I just hope Moshiri is generous enough to dip into this bank account to allow either outcome to happen.

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no one is buying zaha for 80mil

no, he’s so overrated.. I would only pay £30m or less for him if I was in charge

>and Patrick van Aanholt

This lad's agent is on fire. Linked with big moves every window despite being shit.

Vidic is top 5 all time center backs, him and Rio were so fucking dominant.

>no one is buying zaha for 80mil

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didn’t fergie let zaha go after he got caught fooling around with fergies daughter?

Le Tissier was based, you take that back

it was >oyes daughter. she was 16 too

I'm seeing a pattern here. What next, buying back Michael Keane for £60 million?

lack of team cohesion due to just buying players instead of improving the level of play with the team they have already

>lack of team cohesion
I'm fairly confident that's been resolved. By the end of the season morale was high and everyone was playing well as a team.

remember to dialate /trans/ lads

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pls don't sully this wholesome thread with such vulgarity.

fuck left, marry centre, kill right

fucking hell. this is like soi kino

Bertrand Traore is an Everton target this summer, according to Yahoo Sport France, with the former Chelsea winger impressing in Ligue 1 with Lyon.

>Trabzonspor goalkeeper Ugurcan Cakir could be joining Liverpool in the summer, according to Turkish outlet Ajansspor.

Milan CEO Ivan Gazidis is reportedly on his way to London to meet Chelsea boss Maurizio Sarri.

>Hoffenheim have announced the signing of 25-year-old Hannover forward Ihlas Bebou on a 4-year deal, €10m fee

Hertha BSC will look into the possibility of extending the loan of Liverpool midfielder Marko Grujić. Sporting director Michael Preetz: "I’ll give Jürgen Klopp a call."

>Bild have rubbished Sky Germany's report suggesting Luka Jović will join Real Madrid for €60m, they claim the Spanish club have offered €50m while Eintracht Frankfurt want a fee closer to €70m

Everton & Leicester City are interested in signing 21-year-old RB Leipzig striker Jean-Kévin Augustin. The Bundesliga club may be open to selling the Frenchman but no formal offer has been made - Telegraph

>Laurent Blanc turned down Fulham in December & remains in the conversation for the AS Roma job. (L’Éq)

sry

>Trabzonspor goalkeeper Ugurcan Cakir could be joining Liverpool in the summer, according to Turkish outlet Ajansspor.
This is utterly bewildering. He hasn't even got 30 league appearances. Why would anyone be interested in him outside of Turkey?

Barca signed Todibo even though he only had 12 appearances in his career.

>you want 80? make it 100 and you got a deal

IIRC isn't Bertrand Traore one of the reason chelsea is facing a transferban?

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>with the former Chelsea winger impressing in Ligue 1 with Lyon.
not really

love you swedebro

>tfw a pawn

you too sweety pie

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United are selling their best players and will sign shit older players plus overpay for them

>their best players
?

Yeah, but he will retire before they actually get banned

lads I am starting to get scared that chelsea will lose against arsenal

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Pogba, Herrera, de Gea

Based.

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If Spurs sell Eriksen and replace him with Gomes their fans should give up on ever winning a title.

Pogba is a talented player, but he doesn’t work hard and is a huge cancer in the team.. they should be glad RM want to buy him..

Doesn’t matter when everyone else on the team is worse than him but they’re getting contract extensions

He plays him CM because Dembele is gone and none of the other CM's at Spurs can pass.

>lose
>to Arsenal
Should top yourself if that happens lad. RIP LRL.

I'd pay to watch the former managers of Man United play poker or some shit together, and just talk shit about each other for a few hours. Moyes, van Gaal, Mourinho, Solskjaer, maybe Giggs

>lost the fa cup final to arsenal
>lost he comunity shield to arsenal
I am getting used to it senpai

I'd take an hour long triple interview with Moyes, van Gall and Mou were they just go over were they each went wrong at United. That would be interesting.

Have you finished transitioning?

Or you could do >us a favour and lose anyway. Sarri will be sacked even if he wins, so lose, you have Top 4 so new manager can sign new players.

It feels like ever since his second year at Juve, he had stopped trying

>Liverpool are plotting a surprise summer move for Tottenham Hotspur centre back Davinson Sanchez, according to Don Balon.

>Irish guy comes into my group chat
>first thing is to moan about the English
They're fucking caricatures.

>Tottenham striker Harry Kane is one of nine Champions League finalists named in England's initial 27-man squad for the inaugural Nations League finals despite his fitness being "an unknown".
Why?

>Don Balon

>>>Bild have rubbished Sky Germany's report suggesting Luka Jović will join Real Madrid for €60m, they claim the Spanish club have offered €50m while Eintracht Frankfurt want a fee closer to €70m
Chelsea pls

where are barca at

>Bild
German Don Balon t b h.

Okay, say something nice about Nuno André Cardoso, reporters from Maderia are linking him with solid interests from Liverpool.

thank you based Don, so it was written, so is is real. amen

>>first thing is to moan about the English
yet they all support english teams

potato bastards

wtf don I thought we were allied

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>named in England's initial 27-man squad for the inaugural Nations League finals despite his fitness being "an unknown".
>Why?
He's your captain m8
Wouldn't it be awkward if you lift the trophy without him in the squad?

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nonce

>Don't be a Turk and own up to your genocide, Br*t
This is what he said to me. I was so tempted to post my memes but I resisted.

Because he's not fit? This is John Terry putting on a shirt to celebrate tier squad selection. We could have selected somebody else.

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This is like something off The Sims, such is its awkwardness.

Bild is good as long as it's not Sport Bild or the article in question is behind Bild+.

Imagine Vardy leading England to it's first continental title in over 50 years. Ideal timeline tbqh

>american education

Vardy isn't in the squad.

I mean, I'd take an injured Kane over a healthy Solanke any day, but that's just me

song idea: old town road by lil nas x but the lyrics go "ima take my horse down to the old town road n jerk it off till i can't no mo"

I meant, in place of Kane

Sometimes I really hate being a zoomer and being associated with these fucks. Dear boomer spee, not all of us are like this

If your a /trans/ lad you awight
T. Boomer

>your

Ah reet. Well, the hope is he will be fit. The match is just under three weeks away. Assuming he doesn't play in the CL final. Southgate is gonna have fun with 25% of his team being from Liverpool, 25% from Spurs and then like 25% from City kek. Remember when Arsenal used to put a load of good defenders for England? Keown, Dixon, Adams, Campbell, Cole? What's happened? Chambers is shite. Holding is perma injured. AMN is a weird player.

Lads how do I get an instagram gf

(You)

>when you find out your mum is your dad
definitely won't result in a fucked up kid who kills himself

step 1: have money
step 2: don't not have money
bonus points if you're famous/attractive but at the end of the day that doesn't really matter

Don't bully me Spurswede! I'm HELPING YOU.

To start, find them and send creepy messages every hour for 6 months and then ask for bob and vagene.

Hope Hendo is played in his more natural position in the England squad, he has been really good after Fabiniho was bedded in.
Hope Trent plays too, he is in great form.

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>Real Madrid are set to test Liverpool's resolve this summer by submitting an offer for Egypt striker Mohamed Salah, 26. (Canal+, via Mail)

Eintracht Frankfurt's Serbia forward Luka Jovic, 21, is on the verge of a £52.4m move to Real Madrid. (Sky Sports)

>Barcelona are planning a move for France striker Antoine Griezmann, 28, who has announced plans to leave Atletico Madrid. (Goal.com)

Manchester City are willing to pay the release clause for Griezmann. (Sport Witness, via Manchester Evening News)

>Chelsea's Spain defender Marcos Alonso, 28, is on Atletico Madrid's radar. (AS, via Sun)

Manchester United forward Marcus Rashford, 21, and Arsenal duo Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang, 29, and Alexandre Lacazette, 27, are potential targets for Barcelona. (Mundo Deportivo)

>Bayer Leverkusen's Germany forward Julian Brandt, 23, could snub both of England's Champions League finalists Tottenham and Liverpool in order to stay in Germany. (Sky Germany, via Mirror)

West Brom's 29-year-old Venezuela striker Salomon Rondon's hopes of a permanent move to Newcastle hinge on Rafa Benitez staying in charge at St James' Park. (Newcastle Chronicle)

>Atletico Madrid president Enrique Cerezo says Manchester City target Rodrigo, the 28-year-old Spain forward, will only leave the club this summer if he wants to go. (Manchester Evening News)

Manchester United executive vice-chairman Ed Woodward has pledged to use the club's financial muscle to help Ole Gunnar Solskjaer rebuild following a "turbulent" season. (Sky Sports)

Attached: First Thing To Do When Playing Women In RPG's.gif (360x360, 640K)

...

>The agent of Atletico Madrid's Ghana midfielder Thomas Partey, 25, has confirmed his client's release clause amid reported interest from Manchester United. (Manchester Evening News)

Wolves are planning a summer move for Reading's 18-year-old forward Danny Loader. (Football Insider, via Birmingham Mail)

>Former Crystal Palace chairman Simon Jordan believes the Eagles should sell Wilfried Zaha this summer and says £60m would be a fair price for the 26-year-old Ivory Coast forward. (Talksport)

Manchester United will net up to £15m if Crystal Palace sell Zaha this summer due a lucrative sell-on clause for their former winger. (Mail)

Attached: Father and Son.png (1982x2000, 2.01M)

Sorry no booli

Fuck off, we don't want your Messi vs Ronaldo shitpost threads, Twain.

>Eintracht Frankfurt's Serbia forward Luka Jovic, 21, is on the verge of a £52.4m move to Real Madrid. (Sky Sports)
ree why does it keep going down

>11 minutes into the transfer window
>Still no signings

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If Arsenal sell Aubameyang, watch them finish 10th at best.

the transfer window's been open since 12:01am yesterday

>1 day
>no transfers

sad

>REEEEEEEE fucking do something Marina

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what about Jovic

WHERE'S STAN? HAS ANYBODY SEEN STAN? WE NEED TRANSFER MONEY STAN.

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What is this gay shit?

arsenal fan being an autist

not that you fucking retard

>not copying the Chelsea fans

still applies

only somebody truly autistic would get mad over a fucking meme

well this is Yea Forums

>Manchester United have switched their attentions in attack and are now closing in on Swansea's Daniel James as one of their first signings of the summer.

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this is /trans/, not /furries/

Think they are still trying to wrap up the Javi Martinez deal first la

Which club called Danny Rose crazy then?

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Any cunt coming to Celtic?

alan pardew

I heard United was interested but I never believed it

they're making fun of >us

Anybody got the 'I Believe It' image from the 'I Don't Believe It' guy?

>Dybala
>Hazar
>Grease man
>Jovic
>Bale
>Entire Ajax team

Are there more players in the market than the money big teams have in thia transfer window?
Expect some cheap transfers lads

I don't understand why anyone wants to waste £100 million on this dirty stinking fucking diving piece of shit scum what whines and cries about every touch especially the ones he's just made up and clearly has big fish small pond mentality and will fail at any club where he is not only the main star but also the highest paid.

He'll never be able to hack it in the CL, never be able to hack it in a Title Chase and never be able to cope with being seen as just another player. In a team where he is the superstar he has a terrible reputation where all refs rightly think twice before believing a Zaha dive and will mouth off to the media every 5 seconds the second he is unhappy.

He is a bad investment, and I hope only my enemies will waste money on buying him.

>We could have selected somebody else.

Like who

Villa UTV UTV

>Strikers: Harry Kane (Tottenham), Marcus Rashford (Manchester United), Jadon Sancho (Borussia Dortmund), Raheem Sterling (Manchester City), Callum Wilson (Bournemouth)
were the ones picked, so Glenn Murray and Vardy? Troy Deeney?

Vardy's retired. Kane's expected to be back for the UCL final, his inclusion isn't that unreasonable. It's not the final squad yet.

Any update on the gf to user move?

lol the chink man wants to reproduce

Sorry lad but midriff > all.

Teach me your teenage pregnancy ways my headless friend.

gf is reportedly "very happy" with afc chad
user looking into more "available" options

After recent illicit approaches to minors, in which cash sums were offered, user FC faces a transfer ban for 8-10 windows

I was looking for it, too. Somebody help us, please.

It was reported that gf had agreed to a 15 year deal and came for a medical at user FC but due to leaving the deal too late, in the last minute of the transfer window, she got a call from another club and signed a 4 month performance based contact.

>£370kpw

I heard it was £8.7m a year so £170kpw which sounds a lot more realistic. Then again this Memedrid, they don't do realistic.

>rebuying Zaha
>for £80m
why not just tell Palace to fuck off? He submitted a transfer request which should reduce the fee already. £50m MAXIMUM in todays going rate of pacey "english" players

De Ligt to Liverpool when?

Clyne just kept getting injured and went on loan because he just wanted more game time.

>reading comprehension

Not as long as Manchester City racks up 90+ points a season.

Announce Werner.

I'm not sure what he's supposed to do exactly

>Atletico Madrid president Enrique Cerezo says Manchester City target Rodrigo, the 28-year-old Spain forward, will only leave the club this summer if he wants to go. (Manchester Evening News)
>the absolute state of MEN's fact checking

Shouldn't Liverpool be paying him so that they can fix that weakness?

>Canal+
Isn't that a film studio?

If it's just to lift the trophy, Henderson for example.

Gonna be thinking Liverpool will need to get 112+ points to win the league lads

why hasn't pep got bored of man city yet? what is it that he's wanting to achieve there?

CL win, isn't it obvious? That's what the sheikhs hired him for.

so what they're gonna do to my chelsea is wait for everyone to sign and then on on august 7th they'll delay it for a year

Everton and Leicester have expressed an interest in RB Leipzig striker Jean-Kevin Augustin. (Daily Telegraph)

>Real Madrid are 'ready to test Liverpool's resolve over Mohamed Salah' as Zinedine Zidane looks to revamp his attack ahead of next season. (Daily Mail)

Chelsea will reportedly try and sign Boubacar Kamara from Marseille if their transfer ban is lifted. (The Sun)

>Wilfried Zaha is prepared to listen to offers from Manchester United if they bid for him this summer, report the Telegraph.

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>palace want £100m for zaha

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>only 100m? Here is 120 and Moyes daugther

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Because Pochettino is better than Wenger, simple as. His entire team is academy + smart early recruitment buys. The players they promoted and scouted were good and Arse's werent. it just worked out.

>Grease going to Man City
Perfect

Tierney should go to Spurs

saw this post by a barca fan

''I’ll literally lose the will to live if we see a front three of Griezmann-Suarez-Messi next season. No doubt backed up by Busquets, Rakitic and Vidal. Christ.''

hes saying christ because he thinks its shit. literally any other team on the planet would kill for that lineup. talk about a spoiled fanbase

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Pic related

De Jong is going to bench biscuit

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They are not offloading suarez? I thought he was finished

>offloading messis friends

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>guardian OP
Oh good, this fucking redditor is back

back to /pol/ incel

any bombs from my boy don balon?

It is meant to be

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yesterday he said salah to madrid is a done deal, not even joking

the don hath spoken, and so it shall come to pass

>Pulis sacked
About fucking time.

Wut

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Sterling to Utd confirmed

>longstaff surname
better than shortstaff

Is Alderweireld gone this window?

Only if Utd don’t stump up the money for Koulibaly. He will be 2nd option

Juventus.

His head is so weird

Yes same with Eriksen. Can't see either of them staying unless they win the CL final. Even then I think Alderweireld wont stay.

Allegri confirmed to be leaving this summer. I have strong feelings he'll be United manager by Christmas.

>Tottenham will reportedly demand £40million for Kieran Trippier this summer, as Manchester United eye a move for the England defender.

>£40m
Also he wont go to United I dont think, no CL football and also not really a fullback more of a wingback. Everything in the latest rumours seem to hint towards English youngsters so I think they will make a push for AWB first before looking elsewhere in the RB market

I hope not, I am enjoying Ole.

Ayy lmao

Allegri to Bayern

Allegri to Chelsea

>£40m for kieran trippier
what the fuck is wrong with man u

Guardiola to Juve
Allegri to city?

Doubt it but Guardiola always says he wants to move after 3 years

lads,
greaseman, de ligt and rodri will join barcelona this summer

This is transfer suicide.

Don’t forget Frenkie

yeah, but frenkie is already official
and ronald koeman as manager
valverde will step down after copa final

Pep wont leave City yet, maybe in 1 or 2 years if he walks the league again like last season or City get banned from the CL. Can't see Juventus interesting him with the amount of rebuilding they have to do.
Doubtful about Rodri, other two are pretty much nailed on though I would think.

That's not even the weirdest one

>[Sky Sports, May 5th] Napoli boss Carlo Ancelotti has admitted the club are "evaluating" Tottenham's Kieran Trippier as a potential summer signing.
>[Daily Mail, April 23rd] Atletico Madrid have joined Napoli by showing interest in Tottenham right back Kieran Trippier.
>[Goal.com, May 9th] Valter De Maggio has said that Kieran Trippier is "very close" to joining Napoli, despite interest from Juventus, Manchester United and Atletico Madrid

English players do get inflated transfer values thanks to their nationality but this is just fucking retarded

>Buying a meme twice

Please someone just put them our of their misery

But United get money back from the deal, it makes perfect sense :^)

>linked with championship who kids
>linked with previous awful buys
Somebody get ole off that fucking wheel

Casilas retired. F

This does mean Porto needs a starting keeper though.

>so many english/welsh players starting to play abroad
This is so surreal. I still can’t believe bale plays in spain

United fans. Who do you want this summer being realistic:

AWB - £35m
Daniel James - £15m
Jadon Sancho - £120m (unlikely)
Massively overpriced CB who will flop
Herrera replacement

I would like the starting 11 to read something like this

De gay
Shaw
Lindelof
CB
AWB

McTominay
Dab king
Herrera replacement

Lingard/Chong/Gomes
Rashford
Sancho

>he doesn't want Ole to blow 250m on championship players

Honestly buying young promising Championship players isn't a bad idea the market is fucking awful at the moment. United have bought big names the past few years and the majority have been Mercenaries or not suited to the league. Being in the EL they need players who want to put a shift in and have promise rather than big names who only want to join for a paycheck, they aint winning the league next season anyways so better to spend a season developing a good young squad then making the same mistakes in the market for a 7th year in a row. Only place they need to spend really big on is a good leading CB and a defensively competent RB.

>Lingard/Chong/Gomes
yikes!

Need a workhorse forward if you have rash and sancho/martial

Lingard is a bit shit but he puts in the yards innit

From what little we've seen, Chong is still a fucking kid with adhd chasing everything and Gomes seems a little bit more sensible but hes 2 foot tall ffs

How come no one's going for Rashford? Like Barcelona for example, Rashford would be a better signing than the aging Griezmann.

Because hes going nowhere

Sancho 100% wont join
De Gea will probably leave alongside Pogba

Realistically something like this would be good for United (dunno who the CB would be)

Henderson
AWB-Koulibaly-Lindelof-Shaw
Tielemans/Fernandes-McTominay-Ndombele
Greenwood-Rashford-Martial

This. As much as i dislike Lingard, when he puts his mind into it he presses harder than Klopp's front three combined

Being a midget doesn’t matter nowadays

Because Barcelona has an image to keep up and Rashford is the ugliest player in world football, next to Lingard and Ashley Young.

Is he the shortest in the league?

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Sell Poobag and Sanchez
Cillissen
Dalot Alderweireld Umtiti Shaw
P.Gross Matic Mctominay
Zaha Rashfor Martial

This team makes the top 4 at least

You're thinking of Real Madrid, Barca used to have Ronaldinho as their superstar.

Romero > cillesen

Nah Ryan Fraser is like 3ft2

Fraser is a bit taller apparently.

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True fact

>This team makes the top 4 at least

Romero makes too many mistakes and he's bang average for Argentina. Cillissen was brilliant for Barca in CdR and is doing well for the Netherlands.

Still has a few years to grow

True but I doubt he'd get any taller than 5'6

now that is a hot take
it's wrong, but a hot take nonetheless

Name 4 starting XIs in the league that are better. Also forgot to say this but sacking Ole and getting Allegri is a must.

5’6 is massive

Wolves would finish above that mess, Not that it matters Zaha and Umititi will go nowhere and that midfield is a mess

arsenal, spurs, liverpool, city

2 or 3 mistakes in an already miserable season makes him bad? Is de gay "bang average" now? Has everyone forgotten the yuropa league run or literally any time de gay was rested

How delusional do you have to be to actually believe in Solskjær?

Why don't United have buy-back clauses for Zaha and Depay? Really fucking short-sighted desu

Yea Forums were praising him a couple of months ago, will all the unlock posting and that so you all believed in him.

implying uniteds budget wont be spent on buying out ole's clause. smart driving

Klopp is a GOAT manager who makes shitters look elite.
Ole is a MEDIOCRE manager who needs elite players to carry him.

Players are the problem

Why would you want these fair-weather footballers back?

They do for Depay

To sell them on again for an even higher profit

> people thinking we should sell Pogba

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Its 30-odd mil for depay

Yes but no
If Man U had Klopp Poch or Pep they would improve at least some of those shit players they have now

not memeing or exxadurating, I never had faith in him even after the psg match
throughout their good run of form it felt like arsenal during the start of the season where they were on their undefeated streak, playing shit football with shit players but scraping the results

>even after the psg match
imagine thinking the PSG match was an Ole masterclass

>exxadurating

Zaha is a possibility if he pushes for a move, Barca might offload Umtiti because of his injuries and to make way for De Ligt, Lenglet already proved to be more than capable to replace him.
Who would you get to fix the midfield?
Arsenal are easily worse.

>believing this
The growth plates close at age 16. Hate to break it to you, zoomer

my autocorrect did that, no idea

not really you still grow a couple cm from like 18 to mid 20s

That's for women, user. Men could grow as late as 23 or something.

Palace want 80m+ for Zaha, hes just signed a new contract anyone paying more than bus fare for Zaha is a moron

How do they do it lads, how do United fans remain so optimistic?

Lol. Little manlet zoomers, I pity you

how am I a manlet for stating a fact
I'm not saying he'll become 190 cm tall but he'll go from 161 to like 165

really want to order this shirt

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kek, the discount though?

Zaha will never return to United and Umtiti's knees are exploded

United should pay whatever it takes to get Rodri and SMS

>shirt full of champions league references
>in a europa league season

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go right ahead, customer.

Medically it's 25 when heights are stopped being recorded.

sorry what was that farmers league

>LEGO

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>one Brandt pls, 50 mil, ummm no sweetheart that's a 25 mil release clause. Good day sir. See you in training next morning kiddo.

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Brandt for £21m is surely one of the bargains of the window. He would improve any PL team from what I've seen

What will be the biggest manager rumour this summer?

Poch to anywhere

If Rafa leaves Newcastle then he could go anywhere.

Not to Man Utd again, surely?

Allegri to Arsenal just because Arsenal think they are bigger than what they really are.

Probably, who knows maybe Bayern fuck Kovac off

>Doubtful about Rodri
very recent development
because rashford ends contract next season and any interested clubs have already agreed to get him for free in a year in exchange of a signup bonus

>Spurs
>Euros
shan't be replying to such an image any more.

Allegri to somewhere

Allegri to Leeds

Allegri to Lyon

Who can unlock Pogba at United?

Allegri to Celtic

*unlocks your dabbing niggers*

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NEVER EVER
FAILED UNDER MANCINI
PELLEGRINI TOO
KNOCKED OUT IN THE QUARTERS
IT'S PRETTY MUCH THE BEST THEY CAN DO

*tips fedora*

holy fuck those teeth

DESCHAMPS.

Nah. Pep is coping hard with his CL chokes by saying how much harder it is to win PL

JUST

what the fuck

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This is the latest team based on rumors

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Zidane said the same about la liga and he didn't choke the UCL.

>38 games vs 16
>hur durrrrrrrrrrrrr CL is harder
>Barca and Madrid and PSG and Juventus all went out to literal who's
Come on, it's harder to win the PL.

trippier for wan bissaka

To win any national league you usually just need to beat bottom ~15 teams and get a handful of points from your direct competitors

>Zidane said the same about la liga and he didn't choke the UCL.
He's right to judge, he won both with Real

>Come on, it's harder to win the PL.
Then why can't Pep win the CL?

Because City, at the time of their game, were playing for a quadruple and had to think about FA Cup and Title.

>were playing for a quadruple and had to think about FA Cup and Title.

Fuck, Cardiff on the weekend and Shrewsbury next Tuesday, I'd hate to have that shit on my mind in a Champions League quarter-final

>the £21m release clause on the 23-year-old’s contract
Is that really all he costs? Julian Brandt? The German NT player and widely considered best talent in /bundes/ is less than half a mustafi?

Without the release clause he'd go for 60m.

*dabs*

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Without the Jizyah he'd go for 60m.

>Julian Brandt would reportedly prefer to join Borussia Dortmund rather than Liverpool if he decides to leave Bayer Leverkusen in this summer's transfer window.

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*unzips limitless budget*

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Just checked United's reddit board and based on their transfer guide and realistic transfers this is their starting line up for next year as of right now. What place is this team finishing?

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why would alderaweed downgrade?

5th

He'll double or triple his wage by moving to united. Why else would anyone go there at the moment.

To play in the prestigious Europa league with S o y e s.

>you now remember Fred plays for United

May as well go to China.

>LE BUY ANOTHER 5 PLAYERS AGAIN MEME
Fuck sake. Why don't United look at Spurs and see that regular buying of new people doesn't mean success.

>Steven F

Why don’t United get Poch?

To be fair, Darmian, Valencia, Herrera, Rojo, Sanchez, Martial, Pogba, Lukaku and De Gea are rumored to be leaving.

They actually have to buy 5-6 players this summer.

Because Pep genuinely tried to win every trophy he could this year and wore his players out. Klopp sent out a load of 16 year olds for the FA cup and league cup so he could save the first xi and guarantee success for the more prestigious trophies.

>Fred

Attached: fred.jpg (616x638, 80K)

I guess. Lucky United can do that. However I seriously doubt it'll happen.

If Poch wins the CL, they might. Poch said he might leave if they win it (and he'd be right to do so, he could only top the CL with a PL win and then top that with a double).

[citation needed] but would be absolute top laugh

How many years of failure do man utd fans need to realize that they're not entitled to success and that fergie and his squads achieved what they did through hard work

The better team will always win the league because the bigger sample size means anomalies will be accounted for, but an inferior team can meme their way to the cup with flukes. You can win the CL without winning a single game.

Everyone knows that fergie kept his squads together and in line through hard work but the fans are entitled to be challenging for success, not slumping it out in 5th

>“The contract extensions of eight players since last April, including Mo Salah, Sadio Mané and Roberto Firmino means the combined incremental cost of wage rises alone is between £150 million and £200 million.“ (Paul Joyce)

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[Don Balon] There seems to be some truth to it. Waxtap players saying that Fred is nowwhere ner man u level

And don't forget bullying officials, which he self-admitted to doing in order to get favourable decisions. Like more penalties, fewer red cards, more extra time etc.

new

Not an United fan, but i wish they would invest in decent and cheap young players, but seeing that they are up for Lewandowski , i'm not very hopeful.

Fuck you. Pogba is cancer

>38 games vs 16
champions league is only 7 games for top teams
the group stages don't count

Didn't even know he had a heart attack.

Top 4 all have better squads.

Don't think it's Ole's fault. I think Manure should stop chopping and changing managers if they want to get anywhere.

>Is de gay "bang average" now?
>implying he isn't

Zaha explicitly wants CL football.

He has to go. He's not going to work long term under OGS.

Eh, if your pituitary glands act up you could end up with another 20 year long growth spurt.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adam_Rainer

I know that much. Obviously that means he'll be staying until he gives up or gets sacked.

this team reeks of 8th

Kaapsalon!

Barca will be the winners if they offload coutinho. Real will be the ultimate losers if they lose navas

All Dutch so kill all three.

Why Henderson instead of Romero

>sell Navas to Porto
>Liverpool dab on Porto in the CL anyway