/cric/ - Australias best BTFO by NZ B team

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Who is the Sidney Crosby of the /cric/ world?

>no cricket on to discuss
>make a thread to discuss said nothing

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You boys watching game 7? Sharkies are up 2-0 in the first period

convict roo fuckers on suicide watch

King Kholi > flat track test bully Smith

wrong

Incorrect

You’d be right, user, if this was OPPOSITE LAND lol

just put a picture of poojibuls face on my dart board

at the toil

grim

fuck off sebbo

just told sebbo to fuck off lads

toil and trouble

Just dropped some red balls in the cricinfo comments section lads.

Ho on...

tui going nuts outside lads

Viet for lunch

Viet store closed going to the wog shop instead

>430
>Lunch
Mate it's Ramadan you should be fasting

Nothing in cricket can compare to the theatre we saw in the UCL. /wog/ rules!

Tell me about the women’s t20 challenge. Is it as good as the wbbl was? Is my gf playing?

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crave a wog gf
got a trashy quality about them that I can't ignore

Watching attack on titan

yikes

I dont get it, why did they only play to 6 wickets?

Thursday night pissup on the cards

Limited overs? Aussies probably got their 50 balls.

just stuck a map if New Zealand on the inside of my bog

odd thing to do

You get 1 wicket for each state in your country. New Zealand got 3, one for each island. Really shows how terrible USA is when they still can't compete.

Nicole please take me back. I never should have let you go. We were meant for each other

Answering no questions correctly during your cash builder is the ultimate dick shrinker.

magic mushrooms have been decriminalised in Denver lads

you arrive in Denver 2025

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hugged madoka lads
she WILL lead Australia to the CWC final and smash a winning century

Got 18g dried atm lads

test cricket is the only drug I need

There is no planet b lads

Would Zacky B be known as Zacky A on planet B?

there is no me b either tb h

just bowled a doosra

in a perfect world men like Zachy B would not exist
but this is not a perfect world

*knows literally everything about test cricket*

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so true

getting into banitsa weather soon lads

Might put up a "no bald men allowed" sign on my banitsa stand

There is a NZ B cricket team and they beat the top Australian side

your Blundell's, your Young's, your Williamson's

archer looked good last match lads

for me its the 250th anniversary of captain cook landing in new zealand

Captain Cook was a racist and a bigot and I'm glad that the brave Hawaiian natives speared him to death

thinking about a peak Matthew hoggard

thinking about big asian breast's

That apostrophe screams lack of higher education.

/cric/ is an upper middle class private school educated general

the AI has spoken lads

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reckon I did it deliberately and am actually highly educated

Lads I don't want to enjoy things anymore, wtf is wrong with me?

lads Yea Forums is having a hiccup lads LADS HELP

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imagine lacking so much confidence you can't even put yourself on top of your own pyramid

was on top of your mum's pyramid last night mate

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are you the one who made all those originally? can you upload them for me la

the pyramid is a result of collaboration, all the power players in /cric/ participated

What can I do?

Lawnjesus has transcended the pyramid.

no but I have two others

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based. i only ever saved the eva one

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Maple walnut ice cream on the cards

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Why would you call yourself Richo when your real name is Joseph. What the fuck is wrong with this cunt. If you're going to use a trip you may as well make it unique or interesting, not just another mans name.

this is the forced meme

Hey y’all

he likes Richo the aussie rules footballer lmao
even sadder because he's from an NRL state

this is not the post

thought about cricket at work today lads

only way to get through the toil

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Reckon he dreams about muscular AFL players spit roasting his sister

god i'd love to see this

Can't wait until trans health Care is fully funded so you wagies have to pay for my top surgery

Trip on Joseph

we'll wait until the suicide tax bites us m8

based as fuck

the only positive thought i have for transgenders is that they have a much higher rate of killing themselves

Australia, Pakistan, Sri Lanka, Australia, Australia, Australia

Transgenders are almost always from divorced or single parent families.

Based Te Riu-a-Maui

me reading the eligible voter list in dandenong desu

Hi is this /cric/ or /snip/?

honestly cricket is the antithesis of circumcision

Why stop at the foreskin? If you're going to chop it off, take the hole lot off and make it into a faux pussy like I have.

just found out that clayton is the only melbourne suburb where more people are born in china than australia

stuff.co.nz/world/australia/112610509/australian-toddler-fed-vegan-diet-was-malnourished

had unprotected sex with a slut and my cock is itchy and bits of skin are flaking off

am i dare i say...done

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go to the doctor lad

for me, 7.75 inches long, 6 inches of girth, with a foreskin that smooths out nicely behind the glans

#elite

honestly i think the penis average is far too low

feel average yet am above average in every regard

i'm cut so nothing good about my package

If digits I have the best benis in the west

unluggy uce

Bunch of faggots in here

Don't use it as an insult please

yeah a lot of nz posters in these threads.

gay, big brained, and big penised here lad ama

>lose to New Zealand in the cricket
>get mad at them
EVERY.

BASED STATSGOD

What's the main club these days? Family Bar still open?

haha lads this..
wait for it...
IS THE POST HAHAHAHAHA lads look at my funny post lads ;)))))

Why are all the people on police ten 7 polynesian lads?

youre not supposed to point that out mate

white people arnt funny enough to make a scene when the policeman has a camera guy following him

cricket and homosexuality go together like modelling and anorexia

Reckon this is an attempt at epic contrarian humour and isn't serious

I watched last weeks episode and tonight's back to back, I was going to ask the same thing in /cric/ tttt.

The first bit tonight with that fat poly on the beach was hilarious

Bit weird that there was a very pedo vibe to it all, then he gets dropped back home to the wife at their state house.

Felt a bit sorry for those kids who got rolled by taro eaters for their phones, their shitty facial hair and anime phones blatantly made them as asians studying here, but getting a brain bleed after being stocked it something else.

Left my oneplus 5 in the shitter at pak n save once, when i realised I went to the info desk nobody turned it in and nobody was answering when i called it normally, spent the day tracking it on the google app and then hit the loud call function and some old fat poly had it and probably didn't plan on ever handing it in except when i did the loud call he shit himself and had to answer

do I watch cricket because I'm depressed? or am I depressed because I watch cricket

statsLORD

>shitting at pakins
You're not a poorfag are you m8?

You’re probably depressed because your a bong. All bongs are miserable by nature

not true, we are mostly a happy-go-lucky bunch with a hint of melancholy

reckon cricket has nothing to do with it in any regard, honestly.

Its better than Countdown for range and price. And I just needed to shit mate give me a fuckin break

You're depressed because you're balding and can't maintain an erection

need ayy lmao gf lads

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actually, the knowledge that I am not zachy and in fact have hair and a functional penis makes me feel a bit better

Cats been vomiting her food on the carpet a lot recently lads

Hairball treatment?

Get a wide shallow bowl so she can't eat her food as fast m8, worked for my boy when he was acting like food was going out of fashion.

need qt short hair gf lad

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No hair in it. Think she's been gorging herself because the neighbors cat has been creeping around our lawn.

cats are animals

do one you fat alcoholic

So are Indians.

>says the sheep shagger

defend your turf m8, couple of rounds above that cats head will sort it right out.

Good point. Reckon psychiatrists should just show their patients a photo of zachy and tell them at least you're not this train wreck of a human.

Got the spray bottle. Hose would go well though.

my cat never spews

based wild blood in him
comes in with gashes and patches of fur missing all the time

I’m a broad shouldered middle class Englishman from a wealthy background, meanwhile you’re a literal nonce from fucking New Zealand. You are over thirty years old and I live rent free in your head HAHah state of your life

Time for /cric/ cat posting. DO NOT post any pics of that faggot little daniel.

Think my comment struck a nerve with zachy b

Not sure anyone that's 5'3'' could be considered "broad shouldered" tttttttt. Maybe plebby is the lovechild of Warwick Davis.

Mine came in with the other cats claw ripped out in her face. Glad it didn't get the eye

i've got a feral cat
attacks me quite a lot and kills about 6 animals a week but doesn't fight with other cats really

mine ambushes my feet when i wake up and always brings in mice and shit

hes a good cat, conks out really easy

Get your cat to do something about that Indian who was posting before

Fucking based kot. One of mine tore her claw telling the neighbors maine coon to fuck off of our property when she was 6 months old, but my other cat gets on with the big bastard, so it's pretty funny seeing them all interact in the garden.

kek look at this literal wog saying he's australian but only watches soccer. absolute state of wogs

cats of /cric/

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Post little daniel

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Got an internship interview tommorow lads, any advice?

LawnGOD

Wear a tuxedo

see

stand up straight

go up to the boss and give him a good strong handshake and proclaim you're willing to work for nothing

yeah mate
do basic behavioural questions as practice, what makes a good team player, what's a time when you dealt with a difficult group member etc, do the STAR method and try to use part time jobs, sport etc as examples
also nail down the "why do you want to work here" question, this gets asked EVERY time. talk about clients they deal with, any charity work they do, their career progression (makes it sound like you'll stick around) and stuff like that.
also prepare an answer about trends in whatever industry it's for

t. gotten an offer out of every interview I've sat

Don't listen to this fag just do look the boss straight in the eye and give him a firm handshake

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dogs>cats

i like both

Grim stuff

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>bosnia and herzegovnina
holy fuck! PLEASE watch our sport

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No.

thanks lad

Imagine still believing that Australia didn't cheat in the last CWC

I find cricket is always a good choice for teamwork questions. I talk about how it teaches you to play a less glamorous role to support the team as a whole, like by holding your wicket as a tail ender while the other bloke scores and does all the impressive shit but knowing that both roles are equally important

>nz gets blown the fuck out by australia as usual
>nz starts seething about cheating
KEK

I would cringe hard if someone said this to me

everything you say in an interview is cringey HR people are not normal got to play to the crowd

>get BTFO in Auckland
>immediately run off to Bunnings to do some shopping

kek I've got two totally fictitious examples relating to playing club cricket
two of the company values are "safety" and "respect", so two of my examples are me telling some junior players to bat with helmets because of the rules and another is telling a team-mate to tone it down with the sledging and keep it civil

Tell them about the time you had to step in and stop some bigots from bullying a trans kid

I don't even work in HR, but jesus wept, you don't actually think they bite on this shit do you? It doesn't even sound believable in /cric/ let alone an actual job interview. Stop living in a fantasy world champs.

batting in the tail is unbelievable? happens every other game m8

>be albania/turk/italian mix living in australia
>dont watch cricket
>have a literal identity crisis
kind of feel bad for that guy lads.

No one actually believes anything in a job interview you dumb cunt, it's all a charade

so true

i know about teamwork because i watch cricket on the telly and you have to work as a team in cricket or you won't win, unless you have one or two outstanding players carrying a bunch of shitters which also works. when do I start

here's a little tip for you lads: very few people do this, but in a job interview, it is advantageous to embellish things you have done to make them seem more important and character building than they really are

Will be supporting Ireland in the upcoming WC desu

vocaroo.com/i/s1zNo9CfkFhh

BASED

Let us know how your first one goes.

i've never had a job and i'm 25.

why not

Have had blow jobs and hand jobs before. And also normal jobs haha

based lawngod

person says to irishmen 'blowjob', punch poerson because 'dont want job' LOL

haha gottem

look at this dude

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being buried under an avalanche of facts and logic right now

have sex

got depression today

Rome s 1 is so good

Hes not wrong

Magic mushrooms lad

who needs pre-marital sex when you have facts

risky

thinking about running for pm lads, going to be /cric/'s first pm
will make it illegal to be left-wing, cricket will be our only sport, and our national anthem will be replaced by a pledge that's just "this is the post"

/cric/ is socialist leaning though

detecting a hint of cucktoria in here lads

world is a fuck

Thinking about dosing my anorexic sister with a strong dose of magic mushrooms desu. She's been in hospital for 2 years now and it's getting a little bit silly now, so maybe a strong dose of psychedelics is exactly what the doctor ordered. Might also be a terrible idea as she's already been sectioned under the mental health act, and this could make her even more loopy haha

What's risky? You a poof mate?

Global communism is the answer to all of our problems.

capitalism more like cringealism

Does anyone still give a dollar a day to nig- I mean kids in Africa?

richo does

i would unironically vote for this

high amounts of redditism here

based

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so true

>restrict england to a score of 100 or more

why does zachy support pakistan over england? i dont get it

he got bummed by a paki once and liked it

fucking hate those rich cunts from claremont that went to christchurch and pretend to be working class but politically woke and put on excessive australian accents that no one actually sounds like and pay out the arse to live on fucking high street just so you can say you live in fremantle eg this absolute hack youtube.com/watch?v=JUNtzA4V_Is sure the other wa lads know the kind I'm talking about

youtube.com/watch?v=-uO6030qXiA
grim

Aden Curran law student at UWA from Mount Lawley and Vice President of Poetry at Creative Writing and Poetry reckons this captures growing up in australia

I’m unable to connect patriotism with sport

hate wogs (except zyzz)

this is so fucking true.

fuar

how big is your weiner

time for a nap

why do aussie suck that fag steroids jizz's cock so much?

aesthetic as fuck

My mate just visited paris and was shocked to see the amount of niggs and shit they've created there. He even said some parts are ever worse than india. Fucking niggers man lmao

lmao he was also saying that they don't even pay for the metro tickets, they just jump the fences lol. not only one or two, all of them doing that lol

fucking love cricket

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*leads /cric/ to the golden era*

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