Untitled

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

twitter.com/AdriaAlbets/status/1125892330559561731

GOAT captaining skills right here

He was probably too onions to say anything about it, and just sat there in the reception waiting quietly until someone noticed.

wtf lmao

metro.co.uk/2019/05/08/barcelona-team-bus-leaves-lionel-messi-anfield-liverpool-defeat-9439446/

He's ok. Liverpool gave him the bus fare and he caught the 86A to the airport in time.

just like me

Sad!

Diario Olé (Argentina) says he's leaving to Manchester City

i know that feel

>Messi was eventually able to provide a urine sample, while special arrangements were made to reunite the Argentine with the rest of the squad and coaching staff before they travelled back to Spain.

He got performance anxiety and couldn't even piss KEK

MESSI CHAU

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Probably for the best

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Lol

That fucking kids backpack

>holy hell its real
I missed it because I thought it was over and I had to work. How did this game possibly happen

jesus christ

Ter Stegen fucked up 3 times + 1 header

Legitimately one of the most JUST articles I have ever seen

>Barcelona’s team bus did not wait for Lionel Messi as it departed Anfield without the Argentine after the Champions League defeat to Liverpool.
how does this even happen??

top fucking kek

this it's a joke right?

He missed a piss test.

The absolute state

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Took him a while to muster up some piss simple as

>Messi, meanwhile, was required to undergo a doping test immediately after Barca’s crushing defeat at Anfield. And according to El Chiringuito, the process took so long that Barca’s team bus headed to the airport while Messi was still at Anfield

He was one of players selected for drug test

Other players pissed and went back to squad, messi couldn't piss so had to stay until he could make himself piss

They had him take a doping test, it was taking too long so the team left but messi caught up eventually.

kek, i feel bad for him

>HE FAILED A PISS TEST
>HE FAILED A PISS TEST

HE DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH PEE, HE HAD PISSED HIMSELF ALREADY

>he couldn't piss
or he was preparing the fake sample

eh, he probably wanted to fly 1st class alone

my main mans choking a urine test aahhhhhh

jesus christ thank god im not english

why does the guy with glasses look familiar

Wait what the fuck is this real? So much for team spirit.

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pee shy lmao
i bet he uses the cubicle too

Maybe because he looks like every second English specimen.

The guy with glasses works in my office. Honestly hes the most annoying cunt in the world.

you can't expect him to provide a urine sample after pissing himself on the field for 90 minutes

yes pal he doped this game, you moron son of a bitch room temperature mapuche baboon

>antonella had to be called in to yell "vamos" while he was in the stall

Also his second name is Blake so he refers to himself as the Underblaker

Hes an annoying redditor who chats absolute shit and only ever talks about football or WWE even though nobody else in the office watches wrestling because they're not 12 years old

>tfw messi career over

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Fake. I bet he asked to stay to make some shopping with Muttonella in London.

imagine even choking at the piss test

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fat messi

>pene frío

Messi was going so damn well... and then this happens.
Honestly fuck Barcelona defense for ever, bunch of retarded animals.

kek

>messi doesn't press
>hurr fuck barca

It took me 3 re-views to realise that he's actually smaller than everyone else in the shot. Tiny autist had a bad game, it happens, I feel bad for him now. Sad.

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>Muh press
The entire back 4 were a disaster

>Tiny autist had a bad game
he didn't tho

Messi cant score in England

Why does he have a randoseru?

he played 2 nice passes in the first half, then went MIA in the 2nd half.

scouse not english

Well maybe he personally didn't (even tho he did miss a couple of shots) but the game was sure horrible all around.

He's from the slip reaction webm

Lionel Pissi

>Low hanging backpack being worn on two straps
>Hands inside of hoodie
>Looking at ground with scowl

Messi should go to to a Slipknot concert with >de Gay.

And Barca management say they don't need de Ligt because they're defence is good enough, kek.

watch the game again

no thanks

what's the difference?

MESSI CHAU CHAU CHAU

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>the argentinian Markovic

You know it's true lel

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>when you piss all your Sprite on the pitch

kek

Scousers are like the mutts of England. So your fear is misplaced.

>literally a kindergarten autist

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Can't relate. How does something like that even happen?

MESSI TO LIVERPOOL CONFIRMED

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Based countryman

yeah took me awhile to realize it's a shop

You're all doping mate, Pep made sure of that

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I can't stop laughing

LMAO

O CATALÃO

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*missis a piss test*
*missis the buss*

Yes thank god. We have enough brown people here already

I fucking love Yea Forums

Parece un niño regañado.

*puts 3 past getafe and eibar*

The inbreeding is strong in this one

damn
this just brought back the memory of a gay bloke commenting on my dick whilst i was pissing in a urinal on a night out
must have suppressed that uncomfortable memory pretty well

This is some of the best OC I've seen in years.

MESSI MESSI MESSI MESSI MESSI MESSI MESSI MESSI MESSI MESSI MESSI MESSI MESSI MESSI MESSI MESSI MESSI MESSI MESSI MESSI MESSI MESSI MESSI MESSI MESSI MESSI MESSI MESSI MESSI MESSI MESSI MESSI MESSI MESSI MESSI MESSI MESSI MESSI MESSI MESSI

He was on a comedown from last weeks doping.
He didn't think he had to do it again

People mocking him for this... It's hard to go again if you've been pissing yourself for 90 minutes prior

based

Damn today was shit but spee never lets me down. Also souds eerily realistic.

Norge is on fire lately, Martin. They are becoming the bests posters on Yea Forums, no doubt about it

lmao

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He just pasted faces over an old pic

>Wait... guys have you seen Messi?
>Not since last week, why?

Kek

Maybe it was a penis inspection day and he got scared. Teams do penis inspections, right?

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Lel

Was there no Sprite on Anfield for him to drink and push the pee faster?

Why was he always so red? Alcohol?

Barca need to buy Bonucci

They have 1 defender (Pique) who is hit or miss.

>Scottish
>Angry at every team other than his, who he was furious at
>Anger issues on top of that
>Constantly yelling at his players until he was hoarse
>Pretty unfit desu
>Heart issues

Alcohol wouldn't have helped, but he was destined to be pink given his lifestyle.

ESTA LLORANDO

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K E K

>watch him choke again

liverpool have a team full of captains
twitter.com/LFC/status/1125892702661431298

>implying Boipucci would have averted this disaster

Basadinho

Sounds like the type of autist who would fit right in around here

anglos genes

kek

staring to think barca actually dopes but only in camp nou

The invisible man

4th goal was completely Pique's fault.
Rookie-tier mistake.

Saved

It's easy being all uppity and happy when you pummeled one of the main contenders at your own stadium

How tall is messi really?

What's in the backpack though? Or is it just empty?

basert og redispillet

A nice comfy fourth choice slot behind bobby, divock and studge to see out the twilight of his career. Not a bad option honestly.

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L M A O

The virgin messoy

a MAC-10, his autism is kicking into high gear, the scousers pushed him too far

I guess you could say, Barcelona should've parked the bus.

They should've, sometimes the result it is what important. Asspain already learned that the hard way this WC. Now could they even? Barca defense was just horrible, they couldn't handle the press.

this is from the time this fad was used correctly

Either it took him a long time to muster up the courage to urinate, or he stalled so someone could fetch clean piss

shieeet

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Nice

There is no inbreeding in Liverpool. Not intentionally anyway.

Can I get a webm or gif when Robertson shoves missis head when he is down?

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Should've been sent off. Liverpool didn't deserve this result. They played thug football from the first minute. Dreadful performance by the referee. I don't know why I watch this sport when refs are selective in their punishment.

Best laugh I have ever had la, cheers

Underrated

*SHOVES YOUR HEAD DOWN*

>Scottish
>Anglo

Not the same thing ignorant French man

And Real Madrid and whichever terrible team you support*

I'm really worried for him. Is he actually on the autism spectrum? He shows all the signs for it. The guy acts like a lost teenager if it's not related to a ball at his feet. This isn't the first time he's acted like this.

wat lel

I was in Spain last week and saw a bunch british tourists there. Not even lying that 80% of them looked like the fine lads in this picture.

What did go wrong with your gene pool?

>Messi: ahhh save me poop
>Poop: ahhh save me messi

You tell me

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lol

>actually using the chad vs virgin meme correctly
holy fuck take my upboat

he wanted to let the rest of the squad think about what they had done

Why does Yea Forums hate Messi just because he has autism? Is it a common thing for autists to hate other autists?

wtf i love messi now

and they made him a penalty in the first leg too
liverpool know they dont deserve it, they will slip both the league and the cl

yes it makes them feel better, just like neets hating other neets
its a fact that all the ones typing have sex are the virgin ones

keep crying scatalan

Messi is my favourite footballer of all time. He is not GOAT, thats fatnaldo, but endearing nonetheless

>Why does Yea Forums hate Messi
What? It doesn't. Just neutrals with the cheeky banter after yesterday's nightmare.

People hating on Messi/Ronaldo are immature. Simple as that. in 5 years they'll be gone and we're going to be forced watching players like memebrappe and hazard dominating football. You'll miss the legends

That's really cute. He shouldn't force the footy lad attitude and just be himself that's endearing.

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why the hostility?

>be seriously discussed as the GOAT of the most popular sport in the world
>housewives throughout the world know your name
>have a large family
>beautiful wife
>3 kids
>hundreds of millions dollars in the bank account
>some brown chink sitting in his cramped appartment with dirty tile floors is worried about you

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All the things you listed don't matter though, it's just your perspective on what happiness and fulfilment should be like. We've seen more "successful" by common criteria people kill themselves. Or do you think if someone possess what you described they can't be sad or hurt in some way? Very shallow thinking.

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the superior anglo-saxon white male

whaaat? not cool not cool...

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>We've seen more "successful" by common criteria people kill themselves.
Give me an example. Washed up old Hollywood B-listers with broken families or irrelevant music boomer stars or edgy teen band prisoners of their own image pushing 40s and slaving for the industry lol? All I’m saying is that Messi is a well-adjusted, well-connected and incredibly successful man who’s got shitloads of opportunities in front of him and a loyal group of people that truly care about him, the amount of autistic self-insertion going on here is laughable.

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

man, the original Virgin Chad memes are the best

>Give me an example.
>Washed up old Hollywood B-listers with broken families or irrelevant music boomer stars or edgy teen band prisoners of their own image pushing 40s and slaving for the industry
So you ask for an example and then go on and provide it yourself. Why you elevate Messi's lifestyle and downplay theirs? They're all probably rich, well-connected and have a have good opportunities. There are many examples of entrepreneurs and others too. I'm not going to research it, it's irrelevant you can google it yourself. But that's besides the point. The point is it's what (you) consider to be the fundamental part of human happiness when it's not so and there's no such part since it's individual for everyone.
Now about Messi of course everything you said it true, he's doing well but that doesn't mean he can't be sad or nothing can harm him you know? And when you feel sympathy for another person it's natural to be worried when something goes wrong with them exactly what the Malaysian said.
>the amount of autistic self-insertion
Ironic. I can't believe I actually just typed all that painfully obvious stuffjust for your autistic self, how could you not get it, bratishka? You should leave your house from time to time.

Absolute madmen.

literally me

Mental health is no joke. If people paid more attention to Cobain, maybe he'd still be around. I don't care how much you earn or how big you are.

The Rain Man of Football has a nice ring to it.

hope so

>muh strum 3 power chords man
No thanks.

What a pecho frio

Would be kino desu

kek

It's Anthony Fantano

>he was given a drug test after that performance
what was they looking to find, ketamine?

fucking hell lmao

kek

If city lose the Premier consider this happening

Basert

holy kek

>city lose the Premier
Is this actually a possibility? Aren't they playing some fodder team from the bottom of the table?

Yeah, but this is football, anything can happen la

it's finished now