I need a haircut but don't wanna go to the barber

don’t do this
I tried it a few months back and I JUSTed myself, cutting your own hair is much harder than it looks

take the buzzpill m8

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going to print this off in a bit so i can show the barber what i want. does anyone know if you get to have your picture back?

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patrician choice

There's plenty of youtube tutorials on how to do this.

Literally me for the last 10 years. I don't know what to ask for other tham "short back n sides #2 taper and style it on top" - they all do a bad job. Best cut i had was in Greece

I had this nightmare yesterday but I literally got a 5 minute haircut for £5. Over in no time and feel far better when its done.

I take in pictures with longer hair than I currently have and tell them to use a #1 on the sides and back

Just let it grow out

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This but honestly.

>his barber doesn't have a fixed set of old racist fools that are either old neets that don't know how to use the Internet or just old guys escaping from their wives
Your lives are pathetic

kek when I went yesterday they were talking about still having golliwogs

Just go bald and not have to worry about haircuts anymore lad

Based and redpilled.

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just don't cut it until you go bald

>going to new barber
>doesn't understand what I want
just cut it short you fucking faggot, how hard is it to understand

Imagine not just going to a Vietnamese barber who can't even speak English

if he's too autistic to go to a barber then it really doesn't matter how shitty it looks

>He doesn't just get his mum to do it
>For free

if you wanna look like a disgusting animal, sure

ah yes, the Dylann Roof look

>tfw your gay hairstylist from El Salvador gets deported & no one else can cut your hair just how you like it

Fuck Trump!

BRO THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH SPORTS OMFG WTF BRUH?

based

reminder the purpose of short hair is lice control in slaves
long hair = the kang way

cope harder hairlet

>he thinks people actually like the look of long hair
OH NO NO NO NO NO NO

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I'd rather kill myself

i'm only trying to please 1 person user
that's me
maybe one day when you stop being insecure you'll understand

Watch some filthy janny remove this thread of board culture just because it's off-topic. They kill the board

Barber stories?
>go to my old cambodia lady barber
>she cut fine and can speak entry level english
>start chatting random shit
>found out she escaped from the kherm rouge and hid in small box so her sister from America can help her moved here
That was cool.

Also small talk isnt hard you faggots.

>y-your are coping
>h-hairlet
It really sounds like you're the insecure one here, though.

>being a hairlet
It ok, Blake. Not everone look good with long hair stay blasted

>tfw prematurely balding so I just use a #2 and shave my own head
its convenient af but I wish I still had hair

Maybe i should just find a hairdresser gf so i avoid this social awkwardness

i do this because i have curly hair so even if i fuck up it's hard to notice
just get your hair wet and do it in front of a mirror

If you cant even do some fucking small talk with a dude, good luck getting a gf, faggot

Pretty sure you have to be a bald labourer to get a hairdresser gf, which kinda defeats the point.

I shave my hair myself once every 2-3 month because having hair is annoying. But you don't have, you can just do it every 6 or even 12 months. As a bonus, they will grow out in natural shape.

Wouldn't mind shaving my head, but would probably look like a mong.

The lord blessed me with great hair though.

Haircuts aren't necessary

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Take the buzzpill. 2 for the sides 4 for the top and beard. Resist the temptation to make it longer or it won't look as sharp.

B&Rp

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>having a jewfro

i'm also circumcised

>As a bonus, they will grow out in natural shape
Don't do this, you'll look like shit

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imagine the smell

You ever end up with someone elses hair in ur arsecrack and you end up wondering how the hell it got there? Imagine finding one of hers, would literally take you hours just to pull it out

take the buzzpill motherfucker

it takes 10 minutes

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literally what

Is that alternate universe Griezzmann?

Not that time because of daily practice for years.

Basically if you rub your bare ass on people's heads your ass hairs sometimes Velcro out their hair and it's uncomfortable

Had two combined for ten years. Neck yourself.

new trim. anyone brave enough to rate

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i can't tell

LOL ONLY TWO
Take your own advice, loser

Is that your NEET father?

Just shave it la

Post your current hairstyle lads, I'm literally Steven Adams.

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i've always wanted to have a 'hitler youth haircut" but never dared ask for it fearing the girl freak out or is secretly jewish

fuck it

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hows this?

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Mine barely even say a word. I don't care if they chat a bit, but I'm paying you to cut my hair, not have a conversation about what's going wrong with your life.

based
fuck the hairlets

pretend to be asleep. works every time for me

sometimes I buzzcut by myself but it looks way worse than a barber haircut
I end up very ugly

do it like me and let your hair grow. You'll look like dogshit either way

>barber shop I go to is all italians.
>they do good haircut and speak to each other in italian all the time so I don't have to small talk.

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Stop shitposting and get ready for tomorrow, Jokic

>End up very ugly

Maybe, just maybe, (and I'm doing this entirely based upon guesswork) but it might not be just the hair.

>Ayy looka dis faggoncini, spaghetti spaghetti autistico eh

Cringe

yeah but with a proper haircut I look gud

don't you have a phone?

yes but i dont want to end up getting hair in it

yo user, what can I do for you today?

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u show the pic once and put it back in youre' are [pocket m90

>walk into the nearest barber
>everyone is black
>they immediately stop talking and just stare
I guess I should’ve realized it was for black people when they spelled cuts with a z

>Going for a dump with hair that long

VERY silly and potentially embarrassing!

just go and do it
stop being a little b with a little p

Lemme get a skin fade texture on top. Did you watch that game last night? Crazy

Sex with her would probably feel like a threesome. Pretty sure that hair has a personality all its own

>silly

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just fuck my shit up f a m

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in europe it's
>walk into the nearest barber
>everyone is turk/kurd/arab
>they immediately say hello and keep talking

I went to a new barber two months ago and they dont talk at all thank god, had to abandon my old one after this.

>have bad social skills and anxiety
>hate the barbers because of dumb small talk
>few months ago due a haircut and spend the whole week building up the courage to go
>go there and just keep saying my lines over and over in my head so I dont spill spaghetti when he asks what I want
>"1 back and sides and just trim on top" over and over again
>go in and ask lady at the desk do they do haircuts like a fucking retard
>barber shouts over to me "hey lad take a seat will be with you in a few mins"
>sit down and realise I forgot to take my jumper off and so I do it quick while still sitting down and my t-shirt comes up showing my skinny fat belly
>look around hoping nobody notices
>barber asks what I want and I tell him perfectly
>begins chatting and I just keep saying "yeah" and "ah you know how it is" to everything he says because I cant think of anything
>he asks what I am up to for the day
>it is a friday and I panic and say not much but for some ungodly reason I finish the sentence with "it's my day off"
>I don't work
>I'm a NEET
>he asks "oh nice one a day off, what do you do?"
>I panic and my mind drives through my village and the first thing I see is my local pub
>say I am a bartender at said pub
>"Ah I know that pub! never seen you there though, will have to get a pint off you next time I am in"
>just kind of laugh and say "yeah"
>he spends the rest of the haircut talking about changing barrels and shit while I just "yeah" and slightly laugh my way through it
>say bye as I am leaving and he shouts to me what beer he usually drinks so I know what to get him when he comes in
>walk home in the rain thinking of ways to kill myself

Fuck barbers and their shitty small talk.

mystifying logic

think l shall have the old JUST today my good man

I need a haircut but I've never been to a barber before. In my town there's only women or some old fella in the back of a newsagents.

I don't know how to choose one or what haircut to pick or how to ask for it. I just want something fairly low maintenance, something I can take 30 seconds in the morning to run some wax through and be done

the lesson here is to never lie because they always catch up with you

should've use the good ol' "i work from home on computer stuff"

Hahahahahaa you fucking spastic

Is this some American humour nobody else understands?

>tfw you get the gay barber and he keeps rubbing your shoulders and kissing your neck again

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>tfw get tingles when female barber does my neck

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kek having your hair cut in Germany is a nice and easy business transaction. We are all autistic and so are our barbers, so other than saying your preferred haircut and "yeah that's fine" at the end nothing else is required from you

>tfw qt hairdresser gf
>tfw sitting in the kitchen on a Sunday afternoon listening to old music ballads from the 1940s as she cuts my hair
>tfw keep making her giggle and she tells me to stop so she can concentrate
>that look of contentment and happiness on her face when I tell her she's done a fantastic job and give her a kiss at the end
>tfw she doesn't exist

>tfw she doesn't exist

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B-but who cut your hair then a-user ?

youtube.com/watch?v=w3qPMe_cCJk

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>Hey user, are my roots showing?
Will you be honest with her, Yea Forums?

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looking good man

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>tfw trying to explain to my good friend why Yea Forums is the thinking man's board and explaining board culture to him and this thread comes around
>it gets pruned
Janny don't do this to me

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Jesus Christ faggot what is wrong with you

The idea of bringing a picture of some dude and saying "I want to look like him" always struck me as homosexual and delusional cringe.

Even the straight ones can't resist doing that to me

>when the hairdresser slaps you because she thinks you're wanking under the cloak but you're just cleaning your glasses

most of these motherfuckers have hideous grills and this lays it out in the open for all to see

>when the hairdresser gives you some paper towel to clean up your mess at the end

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I love it when the chubby but fuckable ones straddle your thigh

>not taking in pictures of yourself

Sometimes I find random long hairs in my underpants bro.

Dunno how it happens

My city has been overrun by Polaks and Turks. Never give money to any Turk hairdresser (or any cash business) as it's a money-laundering front for their drug running. Seriously, don't. They did a random stop/search and found £500,000 in cash in a van.

but it's basically acceptable now as undercut

Have sex with your barber
Is he cute?

up you go.

I always go to cut the hair in the early morning, its not so crowded

Go to a turkish one that get you in and out asap

>milf hairdresser bends over out of nowhere and starts showing me her yoga stretches as I'm getting ready to pay for the haircut and leave
w-what the fuck lads

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To be sure you get it back, mark it with something of yours, like some kind of bodily fluid maybe.

I’ve been going to the same barber since I was 4 years old lads

I know this feel

lol not just shaving it yourself with buzz clippers in 5 minutes...going to a hairdresser + tip

what a zilch on stilts

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Me too user. I'm afraid of the time she will die in 30 years and I have to find a new barber.

If you don't go to a real barber shop you don't know SHIT about sports.

£5??? What's ur city?

That looks very expensive to maintain

Is asking for coupe garcon considered offensive?

this... this is fake right? PLEASE tell me you’re not that autistic

Now you HAVE to get a job at the pub.

can you give me a justcut?

>go to barber
>he’s like ayo wassup, what do u need?
>I’m like fine, I say short on the sides with a v fade at the back
>ok
>start cutting my hair
>only respond with “huh-huh” or polite answer when he question me
>leave without a single spaghetti spilled
y’all oughtta master the art of being both confident and silent

>go to barber
>just fuck my shit up f am
>stare at the tv
>dont say anything
>let him move my head around when he needs to
>he asks if i like it
>say i do no matter what
>pay
>leave
easy

Exactly!

>2019
>Not having 19 different barbershops to choose from!

t. Chicagofag here!

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based

>not being bros with your barber so he does your pubes for free

Except 99.9% of people aren't half as handsome as Kurt. That shit is hard to pull off.