/Heem/

this

youtu.be/COkVyCFplNY

>growing up my heroes were stand up comedians
>this is a lifetime dream of mine

OH NO NO NO
WHAT DID JOE DO TO THIS DUDE

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Haters keep losing, maybe they enjoy it by now?

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Favorite Venezuelan MMA fighter?

*wins*

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Based

Wake up Francis.

there is zero chance schaub ever considered comedy until he became friends with Joe lmao

Why, because you said so? Are you God?

im an extremely casual mma fan
i don't think about the sport at all other than watching an event once every few months
fast forward to last night me sleeping
im at a reception for something, could be booking a hotel, buying a bagel, i dont fucking know
i look left down the hall and you can see a room with people sitting on the floor
i can see 3 or 4 but 2 of them are very clearly conor mcgregor and tony ferguson
idk why but they apparently get into it (or don't) and mcgregor starts violently kicking ferguson in his spine while the latter is still sitting on the floor
10 kicks in mcgregor stops, fergusons head saps, he's unresponsive
a couple of seconds later he vomits out what seems to be a bucket of blackish blood
i wake up

what did my brain mean by this

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he actually says
>my harrows
instead of my heros
kek

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Kailin Curran returns this Friday

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She fucks niggers

holy FUCKING B A S E D

>those wrinkles
bitches know tanning comes with a tab, right?

Are the rumours true...?

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proofs

why is that retards in this thread always try to start a new meme by repeating the same dumb shit over and over again?
what do you get out of it bro?

Are the rumours true...?

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Afraid not.

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damn, first he fucks the bitch then he brands her?!

Smolyakov is one of the worst fighters I've seen in ufc. He is a bum. Do ufc recruiters at least watch fights of the guys they want to hire?

White women simply can't resist BBC

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I don't get why she had to take her shirt off for this

Yeah they can

t. cuck

Johnny Walker slaps your girls ass, what are you gonna do?

Sit down, be humble whiteboi

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Gorilla purple belt squeezed the shit out of my body with a body triangle today. Wasn't tapping because body triangles aren't legit submissions. Might have heemed my spine honestly.

cope harder, wh*Toid

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definitely had to go braless

That's like 10 girls with their bfs. Doesn't prove anything other than their individual preference.

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she's dead to me

can we get over this white boy cope and post our favorite wmma fighters?

Why do you pretend to be a different race on the internet? The memes have warped your feeble mind. Either that or the mutt meme is more accurate than we thought.

If a manlet falls in the ring does anyone hear it

He won a majority decision, you cazzie nigger

Cory Sanhagen absolutely G-G-Gadooshed that manlet link though.

when and who is boston salmon fighting next?

Awww did your feewings get hurt by a little trolling? Post your favorite wmma fighter

Don't worry, i dreamt last night that I met the Archbishop of Constantinople in a poorly lit shoe store un Australia

I'll tolerate gays but I don't like them

No, you're just a pathetic white pussy who probably has no girlfriend. I don't follow WMMA but I have this picture, might be a kickboxer dunno.

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>everyone on the internet is white and everything they post is to be taken literally
Anyway, here is my favorite wmma fighter. Follow her on instagram. No bully pls

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God I wish that were me

>Mutt was pretending to be retarded
She looks sad lol

She lives in Hawaii my guy. You can tan in your living room at night. There's no avoiding the sun

it gets better when you've drunk too much water and you vomit

I lived in Hawaii for three years and I didn't leave a leather bag

I don't get how they give Aspen the Holly fight, which I think means they are investing in her, then when it gets taken away they give her a literal can that she's already beat. How does this make sense? She's gonna best Sijara, then what? How does this get her closer to fighting for the belt when Amanda retires and vacates it after sleeping Holly?

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>finally convincing my friends that MMA is a real sport
>ufc gives a title shot to Derrick fucking Lewis on the next PPV

Why does UFC do me like that?

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Is anyone even close to beating Jon Jones?

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Jessica Eye is fighting for a title, female rankings are beyond meme

Say my name

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Smifpilled

The first champ/champ/champ?

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Jones is a boring decision machine, he can't beat anyone other than bloated middleweights.

Don't forget 5'9 DC being HW champ

What are some fighters with tiny dicks

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I hope Bobert will move up after the izzy fight to fight JJ. I think he has a chance

I think that would be a Rory/Mousasi situation, b

This

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Manlets are boogiemen of the division. Too explosive, strong and compact for lanklets to comprehend.

Most fighters are listed above their actual height in MMA like in basketball, For example, Romero is listed at 5'10 in his wrestling statistics

Gabi

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Whittaker is too tiny and a chinlet. It would be exactly like Moose vs Rory.

Manlets = boogie man
BJJ = boogie man
BJJ + manlet? Ultimate boogie man

You'll see when the LHW division manlet heems Jon Jones

Cowboy will win

Impeccable timing on that camera flash

They are not even close fighting style wise. I would understand DC vs JJ comparison but this is just silly

lads I missed the fights on saturday to spend time with a woman and it was totally worth it

its fuckin chaos

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I am now going to tell you why Santos will heem Jones

• Santos is a power puncher
• he punches harder than Smith
• he is shorter than smith and throws quicker and harder
• he is an inside fighter unlike Smith
• no one is talking about a Santos upset because they think that if anyone could have done it, it would have been Smith
• Jon has to wrestle
• Santos will uppercut Jones' head into the stratosphere when Jones even tries
• Santos is too explosive for Jones to bullyheem on the outside
• Jones will get heemed in the clinch
• Santos has a Chad big fuck off hammer tattooed on his chest
• jones has a virgin bible verse on his chest

Putting my life savings on Santos. I will report back when I am rich.

All the good lanklets go to boxing for more money

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> 35 to 33 on UFC 3 ranked
> 33 knockouts, 1 sub, 1 decision
> Lost all by knockout

Will heem anyone on Xbox

UFC 3 would be so much better if they hid the fighter selection

Unfortunately when he steps in the ring he'll realise "oh fuck Im fighting the strongest bbc on the planet" and his morale will be gone

It does if you play ranked.
> mfw I choose Darren Till and my opponent is Maia

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UFC games are so shit. Fight Night needs to come back

Nope. Johnny Walker is the only one with the tools and he's way too green. Maybe in two years.

At least at HW there would be a small chance someone could KO him.

Close your eyes. What do you see? Its Colby, isn't it?

Those on the PS2 were so good

Santos is gonna spin his jaw fella
Johnny walker is going to get grapple fucked by Jones, anyone with his height and reach will never get near. He is technically so much better and no one comes close. The only hope to beat jones is a powermanlet of the division, when I say manlet of the division I mean a shorter, much more powerful fighter, a 6' wrecking ball, unironically this is why Santos will get on the inside and fuck him up sideways

Not even an ironically amusing gimmick

List of non faggot Americans
Masvidal
Diaz Nate
Diaz nick
Woodley
Jones

That's it. Absolute disgrace of a country

When Britain first, at heaven's command,
Arose from out the azure main,
Arose, arose from out the azure main!
This was the charter,
The charter of the land,
And Guardian Angels sang this strain:
Rule, Britannia! Britannia, rule the waves!
Britons never, never, never shall be slaves.
The nations not so blest as thee
Must, in their turn, to tyrants fall,
Must in their turn, to tyrants fall.
While thou shalt flourish great and free:
The dread and envy of them all.
Rule, Britannia! Britannia, rule the waves!
Britons never, never, never shall be slaves.
Still more majestic shalt thou rise,
More dreadful from each foreign stroke,
As the loud blast that tears the skies
Serves but to root thy native oak.
Rule, Britannia! Britannia, rule the waves!
Britons never, never, never shall be slaves.
Thee haughty tyrants ne'er shall tame;
All their attempts to bend thee down
All their attempts to bend thee down
Will but arouse, arouse thy generous flame,
But work their woe and thy renown.
Rule, Britannia! Britannia, rule the waves!
Britons never, never, never shall be slaves.
The Muses, still with freedom found,
Shall to thy happy coasts repair,
Shall to thy happy coasts repair.
Oh, blest isle! with matchless beauty crowned,
And manly hearts to guard the fair.
Rule, Britannia! Britannia, rule the waves!
Britons never, never, never shall be slaves.

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Shit taste

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She's a chad

can't wait to see Bernardo's fat ass again, the other hue girl that's fighting hair looks cute too

what a little degenerate

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why is she so smug all the time?

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who /mod/ here?
who /gay/ here?

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Why can't anyone beat Jon Jones?

He is a genetic freak in a weakest division. That's aside from his super high fighting iq of course

>fight iq
lol what an idiot you are

SOMEONE WITH NOOOOO SCRUPLES WHAT SO EVAAAAAAA

Coral Springs Father Fucks Little Boys In The Men's Locker Room Of ATT

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Airplane you here?

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DEREK MESSAGE FROM THE NORTH

THIS GUY IS A FUCKING ZILCH

I agree but I disagree with your argumentation my dude

I won't fall for it anymore.

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i wish i had the luxury of posting from the shores of america on a fancy smartphone but lest these proxies die faster than ryan jimmo in a parking lot

Hey spammy if I get you a job on the docks will you stop? I'll introduce you to James Luhrsen and Scary Jerry.

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This is the spammer. Moderation team look for a BROWARD COUNTY FLORIDA UNITED STATES OF AMERICA DNS THIS GUY'S DAD MOLESTS LITTLE BOYS

Off topic post
reported
LOL literally a coordinated attack

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listen frank i'm sorry i gotta work a double shift at H&H Bagels. and no offence but this holiday is a little blurrtblrtlrburtubtt ... out there.

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I could pin anyone ITT in the Feats of Strength

mma real sport am i right

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LOL

JON JONES SLURRING HIS WORDS FROM THE DRUGS IN THE CORVETTE BLESS

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michael....

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Derek Schott
@Punisher_Bass

Me this whole weekend: I don't give a single fuck about Avengers or GOT, I'm going to watch Cobra Kai, American Gods, and Supergirl.

Also me this weekend: Somebody actually saved the entire first American season of Junkyard Wars!? SQUEEEE!

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gahahaha

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*dabs on millennials*

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Ohhh, so this is what heem means

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Good posters:
Me
Lithcuck
Predictionbros (3)
Calendarbro
Gertrude Merez
DYEL Dutchman
Rory Fan
Russian
Serb Horse Heemer/Fasion Matters
Cody Fan UK
canADANian with wife and daughter
Edgestonia
Adan
I own heem
Brandon
Syk Fuk Goofus
Coral Springs
Florida Millionaire
Florida Tampa
Poland Joanna Nuthugger
SpergOP
Brit Judo dork
Weidman fan
Is Conduit a meme
heem general OP
Ireland Namelad
Bangbro
Kenya
Boxswede
Dockbro
Anyone else other than...

Terrible posters:
Australians

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This nigga actually thought he was good because he beat fat old Canboy Canronne. Was there a more satisfying KO in recent history?

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>Is such a newdork casual he doesn't know Edgestonia
A bit sad (!), mate.

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Did the toothless kike have the audacity to not stream again? ill come down to vegas and end your life next time blud

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>upgrade browser
>36 captchas
what changed need a british tech support expert on this one.

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>leaving out serbbro and based nephew
Also the best webmer we have is an aussie.

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>not recognising copypasta

I bet the last of my gambling funds on Canelo so there's a fairly solid chance he's losing

>this retard doesn't know Aussies own heemcord, and thus heem

Longboat Key is a town in Manatee and Sarasota counties along the central west coast of the U.S. state of Florida, located on and coterminous with the barrier island of the same name. Longboat Key is south of Anna Maria Island, between Sarasota Bay and the Gulf of Mexico.

The racial makeup of the town was 99.24% White, 0.07% African American, 0.08% Native American, 0.43% Asian, 0.01% Pacific Islander, 0.01% from other races, and 0.16% from two or more races. Hispanic or Latino of any race were 0.67% of the population.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

WHAT IS STEVE RIVERA'S PHONE NUMBER I'M CALLING HIM IN 2 1/2 HOURS FROM MY MOM'S PHONE AND GETTING JADE ON THE DISCORD

youtube.com/watch?v=JkhaK9ZeVyw

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*wrestleheems your favourite fighter*
pssh, easy

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Anonymous Thu 19 Nov 2015 01:00:33 No.63659539 ViewReport
>longboat key
>poor

they wouldn't even let you near here you fucking zilch
Anonymous Sun 15 May 2016 18:02:37 No.67615392 ViewReport
Not mine. They're not allowed in Longboat Key.
Anonymous Fri 01 Jul 2016 17:47:53 No.69131282 ViewReport
longboat key
Anonymous Mon 07 Nov 2016 21:51:24 No.72431776 ViewReport
How many /heem/ posters are unironically from Florida?

I know there's Tampa
maybe Longboat Key not sure if he was trolling
Coral Springs
Satellite Beach
Anonymous Sun 15 Jan 2017 20:11:15 No.73690700 ViewReport
>Longboat Key
Anonymous Sat 04 Feb 2017 22:00:58 No.74034714 ViewReport
>longboat key, florida is worth more than england
just stop

lol

archive.4plebs.org/sp/thread/69127506/#69131475

if youre not from garden city fire department
if youre not from longboat key
if youre not from the docks of the los angeles harbor
if youre not from the kelseys at edmonton
if youre not from coral springs
if youre not luke from the discord

you mean NOTHING to me
fuck you
fuck the state
fuck the jews
fuck laws
fuck civilization
fuck religion
fuck anyone disagrees with me
fuck anyone who isnt me
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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holy shit airplane = coral confirmed

WHO WOULD DO SOMETHING SO DESPICABLE SOMEONE WITH NO SCRUPLES WHATSOEVA

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Which fighter had the toughest height cut? For me, it's Hunt vs Struve

Matt Hughes cut 2ft after his fight with that train

In many ways, he went off the rails.

new thread:

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BJ Penn vs Clay Guida

Thoughts?

NGANNOU

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Brock has officially retired.

Stipe vs DC 2 official

twitter.com/bokamotoESPN/status/1123383447601467393

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Have been in a bit of an panic since that Schaub trialer came out

never understood the hype of a brock return, dana is just shameless

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Mieshas got a peach onner

slimy peach so many vitamins

Permaflushed Penn should've retired in 2010

>Hardy was convicted on domestic violence charges against his ex-girlfriend, but he appealed and the case was dropped when the victim did not show up in court to testify.
>Billy Padden, who works as a boxing coach at American Top Team in south Florida, was a probation officer for 10 years and a court investigator for 10 years in Philadelphia, said he believes Hardy had no malice during the alleged incident.

“I watch Greg Hardy hit grown men and make them limp as a noodle in seconds,” Padden said. “If he had any malice the night of this alleged incident, the woman would be dead.”

Thoughts on this peach of a coach

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obviously he was planning to fight, but going off the roids changed his body more than he expected so he pulled the plug on the idea.

Stipe also go smashed inside a round, Junior should get the next title shot after he smashes Ncannou.

Brock vs Hardy

he's probably right,grab a bitch by the wrist and yell at her and boom your a wife beater

why is Dana feeding literal cans out of nowhere to this wife beater cheater?

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>yolo tattoo

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I’ve just realized Schaub is on the rushmer of comedy and mma...

>beat my kids
>neighbors call the cops
>"Well officer... if I beat them maliciously... they would be dead."
>"Good point, sir. Carry on, I'll just be going now"

What a retarded argument, coach.

i don't know, he's not even that popular

schaubs not hard to find if u know where to look my guy

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to build up the fighter. because he knows he is a draw. which is why you're talking about him right now and he is a staple of heem

lmao

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wrong one

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look at his nostrils

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My fave female wmma fighter is

Nate hasn't fought in 2 and-a-half years, his brother really is a bad example

Coral that wasnt actually me so you are the real h8er for posting that all the time haha check mate bud

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We're truly lucky to have him.

The real question is why is Schaub sounding like such a faggot jelly hater everytime he talks about Hardy?

twitter.com/bokamotoESPN/status/1123400744240074752

WGAF DC wins again

The fight nobody really wanted or cared about seeing. Sometimes I look at the ufc heavyweight division and think, watery even doin ere?

Ngannou vs DC is what the fans really want

DC vs Jones 3 at Heavyweight is what the fans really really want

Brock vs Hardy is what the true heemsters want

i mean it's better than the shitshow DC vs Lesnar would be, but i would like to see Miocic fighting again before a rematch

llmao schaub is a millionaire with a likely 500,000 a year income while hardy is a woman beating fag with a bad reputation, not to mention he's fighting for 20 grand

I'm sure Stipe will get an immediate title rematch after publicly feuding with Dana White over his pay

this duo makes me proud to be an mma fan

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Dana had no say in the matter

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Guys I don't really like DC vs Stipe 2, I don't want to see my man get heemed again by that cheating fat fuck

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she was banging khalil rountree but honestly who wouldn't

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Send location now, sheepfucker

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There was a lot of flukey shit that happened in their first fight. Doubt Bork is retired tho. God damn they need some new heavyweights

>letting a nigger put his mark on your wife

yikes

Do any fighters smoke cigarettes? If I reached that level of fighting I would.

Greg hardy said he was gonna be the Michael Jordan of UFC

Based. Aspen Ladd is my favorite too

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Joe Schilling

It really is surprising that a nog who got kicked out the nfl for being a stupid nog is stupid

Ricardo Mayorga

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Yeah honestly that's just like so fucking incredibly dumb even for that goofball

Greg Hardy came from the NFL and is doing better than Shwab and getting more attention. Brendan is watching another, black male live out his dreams while he makes drunk retards laugh and watches his prime ex get fucked by someone who heemed him.

I just hope Beltran qualifies it so that DC gets penalized for cheating.

Wait so Stipe's method of just sitting out waiting for a rematch actually worked?

What a bunch of boring faggots. Go back to watching man drama.

The meta isn’t being a manlet, the meta is not being a skinny lanklet in your weight division.

Lanklets with meat on their bones, like Jon Jones, destroy manlets

Latte sippers actually believe DC wins the matchup more than 1 time in 10

Stipe DC 2 is happening lads

I am rock hard

>Lanklets with meat on their bones

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Lads I've waited long enough
I deserve my title shot

it does when you already beat all of the other “title contender” bums like Magumbo, Reem, and JDS

Well here’s the list of non faggot Brits

Masvidal is going to get ridden like a showpony to easy decision """victory""" joke matchup

>not boying redemption arc Stipe
Absolute 229ers
This is THE fucking fight

Is Dana going to flush DC lads?
DC said he planned to retire by 40, which he's already hit. Dana convinced him to stick around for a money fight, and it didn't happen and he's sort of been forced to take a rematch with Stipe now. With how much older he's getting he could lose this and it'd hurt his legacy quite a bit.
And it'd be UFC who convinced him to stick around

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2 months until george gets twisted into a beaner pretzel.

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Yes it was smart only Reddit complained about it because they love DC. It's smart to sit out sometimes. That's Yoel's current strat. Woodley sat out for well over a year after getting a split decision over Gastelum and was rewarded with a title shot. You gotta know how to play the game.

imagine the memes if he wins though

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I would love to see the Askren lovers cry. And Dana would probably be really red after seeing the person he traded for mighty manlet turned out to be an overhyped bum.

Stipe has zero chance.

yeah no shit

the whole “get rewarded for taking fights” thing is bullshit, you risk everything

if Sperguson has any sense he will just wait for the shot

Woodley was promised the title shot if he had beat Hendricks. Hendricks pulled out due to kidney stones after he fired his nutritionist because he decided he's capable himself to do it. iirc

Imagine seeing his perfect win record ending with 1 loss by Jorge of all people

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lmao special edvidal has no chance whatsoever

this fight is the ultimate example of a wrestlechad vs an iqlet striking autist

Damn good point, but at the same time I get the feeling he'll want to stay active and with him changing management he might negotiate something and do something stupid like take a Gaethje fight

Dana doesn't really care that much about Askren. I think he was just happy to get rid of Mouse, who just isn't a drawl.

Askren lost to Jay Hieron and some fat slow spic

john walker is taller and has similar reach, he can avoid the take down like gus by maintaining distance plus he has greater stand up tools than jones, i think in 2 years he could do it

>*poot*

>Just one more because you will like it And do not come complaining about the size of Bikini, I'm getting used to wearing it

Why people keep pretending Jones vs Gustafsson I didn't happened?

Is he the new Kevin Hart?

youtube.com/watch?v=vculhYaqQFs

Goddamn I really wanna re-edit this shitty webm. This shit bothers me.

Why do japs love freaks so much?

everyone does, those fights are the best undercard

please do

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That's fair. Gustafson waited out for awhile and it paid off for him though.

you know which episode the shimmy is from?

Has anyone EVER... excluding heavyweights... come back from getting BTFO so hard in two consecutive fights?

I have no idea unfortunately my man

Can't think of one atm. How's his next fight go you think?

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Hardy 100% has more money then Schaub lmao

Hope he goes to Thailand like Khalil rountree and actually adds kicks to his arsenal

I was just thinking that recently. Muay Thai is his base and he tries to outbox Woodley and a Cuban. His long legs are a huge advantage over his opponents too. Absolute brainlet

Attached: Till doing Toilet.jpg (809x567, 47K)

I back

>he tries to outbox Woodley and a Cuban
Wrong desu
Against Woodley he landed like 1 strike, not fair to say he tried to box him, he just tried to land on him and got countered. As for Mas, he boxed him but on paper he's the much bigger guy so it wasn't really a bad strat and he even dropped Mas early, so it wasn't exactly a bad plan. His head movement and defence was just really poor and he kept getting tagged until he was put out

Clawja is back

twitter.com/bokamotoESPN/status/1123431010983653377

iirc Bobby Knuckles lost a decision then got heemed by wonderboy, before moving up to go on a title run at 85

Clawja is flushed, lost 3 straight. If you think she beat Esparza then you are stupid and wrong.

Arjan Bhullar fights this weekend lads

Clawja and JJ should just keep fighting each other until they're ready to retire

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even though she's flushed I still would

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Marc-Andre Barriault is the next GSP.

Hello, I come here to fluff Stipe pillow. He still sleep so please no make noise. Thank you

Randa?? what a sad fight

SAD!

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Attached: fat manlet ends HW meme.webm (1280x720, 2.93M)

Are brazilians the mentally weakest?

seriously it seems like all hues never quite comeback after a their first loss from a streak

Masvidal deserved to lose this fight for being a cutbaby

Attached: Masvidal vs Iaquinta.png (755x449, 643K)

Why on earth would Randa accept this
What happened to clawja she seems like she doesn't give a shit anymore

Lmao I still can't believe they gave that fight to Al, what are some other good robberies? I've seen Hendricks vs GSP.

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Overeem beats Ngannou in the rematch

Shogun-Machida 1

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>Wake up Jon, it's all over.

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He has been accused of rape and abuse, and now all his social media is gone. I doubt he'll ever even fight again.

wat

Source?

Bumson doesn't have the fight iq to beat our guy

Attached: Elias-Theodorou-UFC-Fighter.jpg (765x1148, 59K)

cuz blood drips

try this angle yourself on a stationary bike -- it takes a lot of effort to make sure you get your cleavage in a selfie like that.

It was in the daily mail

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Bisping - Hamill
gsp/hendricks was 50/50 but Hamill for sure beat Bisping

Punished Stipe is our only hope.

if stipe loses, it' ring rust. he wins that fight 8/10 times

hell naw dawg

Yes I agree with that one being wrong, but to be honest all of these robberies are not as bad as people claim. And GSP - Hendricks and Dillashaw - Cruz were both 50/50 as well. Also watching Masvidal vs Iaquinta it is crazy he beat Till.

Who will throw the first eye poke?

Truly the Ford Focus of our generation

>have fun, babe, I'll keep myself busy white knighting adulterous whores online

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I'm worried for Rose, I don't know if she can beat this guy

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S h i i e t h e a d
H
I
I
E
T
H
E
A
D

I'll give you 1000-1 he fights again you absolute fucking retard

Claudia vs Carla is the biggest robbery in the history of the sport, Tibau vs Towelman distant 2nd

Dude he fucked underage girls in a different country, he's fucked. If he doesn't get 12+ years inside the Norf FC lads will see to him

This chick has ass muscles on her ass muscles

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Same last name, not UFC Jonny Walker goof

Gutted

His real name isn't even Johnny Walker

Schaub identifies with Hardy and is worried Hardy will surpass his peach of a UFC career.

Reminder to support /ourboy/ schuab
CTE is a serious illness and his story of overcoming it to get a showtime special in standup comedy is something we can all get behind.

#SupportTheFight

I #SupportTheFight
Heem Bless Schuab's bravery

Wake up, Izzy...

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I think Stipe may win this, but DC might not lose the fight as well and instead beat Stipe again. It could be a draw or a NC too.

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*injures analysis bone*

Also ahahahah fuck you DC and your stupid money fight

Attached: DC crying.webm (314x324, 646K)

>Smolyakov is one of the worst fighters I've seen in ufc
He is Russian, so of course he's a can, just like all the other Russian MMA """fighters""".

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Are there people that actually think this will happen?

This is a guy who has put away Karate and BJJ black belts away with ease, put away Sambo sport masters and TKO'd a bunch of muay thai and kickboxing memers. He chocked out Robbie who's a much better fighter then that wannabe spic.

I have to assume you guys are b8ing or just got here from WWE during the conor era.

Attached: goat.jpg (1280x720, 77K)

It is the UFC Johnny Walker it literally says UFC star

DC is fucking retarded. He's already beaten Stipe; he's got nothing to gain and everything to lose. Ngannou at least would have been an impressive win now that he's a legit fighter and not a hype train, especially if he beats JDS.

>got KO'd in the first round

UFC reputation would go down the pooper if they gave Stipe and immediate rematch. HE DOESNT DESERVE IT!

*Modelo spirit intensifies*

youtu.be/oFtTh_N9dN8?t=100

She's everywhere wtf

Man 202 was so good.

Attached: 202.png (727x386, 33K)

Best PPV along with 217, 214, 166, 148, 66

GOAT co-main result

You told me you didn't post here anymore you dirty filthy liar, this is Bill (BY)(THE)(WAY)

Swab's stand up sucks in the cage and on stage prove me wrong

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People don't like to hear this because of muh 189ers, but matchmaking hit a huge peak while the UFC catered to McGregor newfags

Attached: Glover eats shit.webm (1280x720, 2.78M)

I wanted Diaz, Teixeira, Story, Lim, Means, Mizugaki, Avila, Markos to win.

Is that a tooth or slobber? Also when is Rumble coming back, Barncat needs a challenge after he takes the title from Jones

Based BJ Penn continuing to provide us with heems even though it means he'll be a vegetable before he turns 50

happy working/non working day heem

clawja is hot af
what a slut, those nips might tear that dress damn

Post best crowd reactions to spicy heems

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That's the face ur mom makes when I show her my big peepee heh

Attached: volkov = free money.webm (1280x720, 2.94M)

youtube.com/watch?v=nxxnG1XydDI

NOOOOOOOOOOOO
I WANTED BORK
I WANTED BOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

Accurate prediction of hypothetical Jones vs Rumble:

>Rumble begins with a Kevin Randlemanesque attack
>Jon keeps him away with eye pokes and oblique kicks
>Rumble gasses out after 45 seconds
>Jones dicks around for a round or two, picking him apart
>Jones takes an exhausted Rumble down
>Rumble turns over and gives him back
>After a few unanswered strikes to the side of the head the ref steps in

There is zero chance of this fight going any other way.

the only 100% prediction is oblique and eye pokes

Actually there is an alternative possibility now that Rumble has been juicing for a year (he's been juicing since he moved to middleweight but only in picogram doses) and that is overpowering Jones and actually landing something.

prime schaub would heem ngannou

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imagine

i dont think he has the fighting spirit
after the shamefull loss against dc i think he shouldn't enter an octagon ever in his life and just fuck off and grow his weed
but he's like im qutting half way in a fight my fighting career, but ill stick arround and do nothing worthwhile smfh

>Forgetting 199
Cmon now

stipe got knocked out in sparring again

Truly embodying the Modelo™ Champion Spirit

proof?

Welterweight fight card
Who would win these fights?
Title fight:
Ben Askren vs Kamaru Usman
3 round fights:
Colby Convington vs Tyron Woodley
Jorge Masvidal vs Douglas Lima
RDA vs Stephen Thompson
Elizeu Dos Santos vs Anthony Pettis
Michael Venom Page vs Vincente Luque
Andrey Koreshkov vs Robbie Lawler

wake up Stipe

Attached: DC targets the eye.webm (1280x720, 2.96M)

all a coin flip

Attached: stipesparring.webm (716x720, 2.95M)

Dana is going to need his yangbucks once the ufc is dismantled and there is a proper fighters union

Kamaru Usman
I would still go with Tyron Woodley
They're both overrated for me but I guess Lima
RDA
Anthony Pettis
Probably Luque I don't rate MVP much
Lawler since he's back on the juice

fuck you perkele
i didnt need to see my boy getting heemed

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How will Brock do in bareknuckle?

cant believe this dude kept insisting to the ref that that was an early stoppage lol

>He has been accused of rape and abuse

yeah he's a brazilian who fights people for a living, are you surprised m8?

Unironically Stipe wins the rematch

You guys think when I'm in the UFC Demi Lovato will go on a date with me?

beta as fuck

Why?

>When im in the UFC
You wont ever be beta

I think I will be, but if not I will be in Bellator.

You've never trained a day in your life

I don't understand these people who think it's genuinely hard to start training or it's exclusive or something, anyone can start even if you are a bit older.

Anyone can, but you have never trained. You are a viring loser

What is a viring?

You

It's not a term I'm familiar with.

Get a dog luke

Oh I am not Luke, I thought you were Luke to be honest.

>britishhumor peaking
great dialog u got there lads

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You would be happy for me?

b-but they eye poke affected his chin

I think they might have said it was a tooth on the broadcast but I dunno if it actually was

Attached: Stipe pokey dc.webm (1260x660, 520K)

shut the fuck up luke

Attached: Luke Rockhold and Demi Lovato.jpg (4525x3020, 1.83M)

bitch is dumb as bricks

She's beautiful.

as a brick

Do you train Sambo?

i train bears

I would like to become friends and you train me to wrestle.

nothing special
i'd see pretier girls if i'd walk for 10 minutes around my block

you need to be older than proper twelve

>Butt Chin
>Acne under makeup
>Jewrat nose
Yeah that is a super big yikes from my my mans. No wonder she shoots heroin

Perfect imperfections.

KYS for jerking off this junkie whore

You're all so negative.

i'd snort a line whith her most def

Ortega is helping her sober up.

Radiation sickness.

Had me going for a bit. This is about Mr. Wrestling II

Rogan had 3 black guests in the last 5 days

seething

If I had started training when i started posting on /heem/ I could Heem every here.
>t. joined Heem in 2014

I invented heem back in 1992.

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I only started training a couple years ago, biggest regret.

Kek why are Redditors so heartless about Stipe wanting a rematch? Calling it "whining" and brushing off his title run like it was nothing. Glad him sitting on his ass for a year has BTFO the haters. I don't mind either guy winning

>Turbo CTE'd Chinlet
Who cares about Stipe

Why’d you photoshop all his acne off

What's your gym name? I am flying to Norway tomorrow for work and want to come heem you

Askren was out

He’s gonna risk it all isn’t he bros

is Brendan Schaub?

Attached: spoober white.png (1200x800, 852K)

I want to mumble on her jumble

T-sperg = the boogie man

I've absolutely no idea what you're on about

Askren, Covington, Masvidal, Thompson, EDS, Luque and Lawler

>spend twelve (12) years getting up to a black belt in BJJ
>get completely rinsed by the average guy that's trained wrestling for 1 year
defend this

Attached: 1546433351487.png (531x720, 467K)

This truly the dumbest argument you can make. It shows that a brainless retard could be a court investigator for 10 years.

>Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, if my client wanted to kill that woman, she would've been dead with one blow

*wins*

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The LHW limit needs to moved down to fix HW. Too many cut babies are ducking the only weight division that matters.
LHW = 190
MW = 180
WW = 170
LW = 160
FW = 150
BW = 140
This saves MMA.

do it in kilograms and I'll sign

Don't they still stone women in indonesia

I find this comment funny because LHW was created after Tito Ortiz couldn't handle heavyweights

351st for Biostewie

tits tortilla doesn't matter

HOLY REDPILLEDOLA

Why does ufc pretend to be an internationnal organisation with champoins "of the world" while still using dumbass imperial pounds and feet and inches that no one understand outside of the U S of A

>Too many cut babies are ducking the only weight division that matters.
I agree, FW needs to be brought down to 140 in order to force cutbabbies like Max and Ortega fight in the only division that matters.

Attached: 1542176621139.png (644x635, 123K)

this too

We need to get to a place where we accept a fighters family is nothing more than a sacrifice to the blood gods

LHW was created because Tito couldn’t handle heavyweights before he even debuted?

Peach of a theory, b

Attached: file.png (131x130, 7K)

This is Swisop btw

What if you pick a song too short for your walkout?

Rec me some kino fights on fight pass

All boston salmon's fights

Go watch some Islam kino. Islam vs Tsarukyan was FOTY when it comes to grappling.

Attached: Islam kino.webm (1280x720, 2.94M)

Dont want to watch him because fuck muslims

pilled and redbased

Ngannou is based

>Australian cuck fantasies

Huge fan of bangers here.

then you awkwardly approach the cage in silence

Just went and checked his insta to see if your were bullshitting, and it’s still there but some Turkish dudes hacked his it lmao

How you feel about mash?

You have to run

>42 years old
Damn

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Dreamt i met him in a backalley, i woke up with a headache and i had ejaculated

Attached: Yoel kills Cuckhold.webm (1280x720, 2.93M)

Never had those. Hilariously enough, it's getting much more radical these days. One province got the right to implement syariah laws, like they will cane people for missing prayer times, etc. But even they don't stone people.

Fuck that whole religion. And fuck those dagestani meme fighters.

has anyone used this as their walkout yet?
youtube.com/watch?v=ybGOT4d2Hs8

Based joe the cuck rogan proxy fagging

What about other religions, r u guys strick with them too? Also can u be openly atheist or get whipped for that
Nigga watch out what u write, they might have a sharia cyber police and u might get heemed

>tfw no hour long porno of yoel blacksploding into rockholds ass

sad_joe.jpg

Because hating 'white' people is cool nowdays
and everyone perceives stipe as white because of his skin colour

mmamania.com/2019/4/30/18524233/ufc-veteran-babalu-sobral-suffering-cte-cant-walk-straight-line-mma
>Today I can’t walk a straight line, I lost sight of my left eye, which is a big price (to pay). I have no balance today, my balance is almost zero,” Sobral continued. “The guys that start fighting have to know that the price to pay will come one day. For everyone. People only talk about the good things today, what they have accomplished, what happened, but what about what you’ve lost? What happened to you?”

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Based joelito is the true champ
i lost a bit respect to bobby for giving excuses after their 2nd fight

You just need to play chess to not get CTE

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Why do Chads choose to date trash? Brainlet

Cause she's way richer than him

luke unironically has Aspergers have you heard him talk

Attached: Rockhold Bisbanged.webm (1280x720, 2.93M)

A rich slut almost certainly won't stay with you. I hope Luke is smart enough to at least realise that.

Yeah. He'd be better off with a nice girl, not drugwhore trash. Lets hope Demi finally OD permaselfheems herself and luke escape.

They broke up a long time ago

It's started,bro. You're one of us now

Based

who's going to come out as having cte in the next few years?
my picks are
>chuck
>fedor
>overeem
>bisping
>bj

they're all fine cause they play chess

I very much doubt any of them have the brian cells left

Elkins outpaces all five

"the damaged"

Schaub beat cte

thepetitionsite.com/en-gb/747/593/719/demand-sanctuary-for-bear-used-for-sparing-ufc-fighter-khabib-nurmagomedov/

true warriors dont get cte
its just loser mentality

that's why i didn't put schaub on the list

Rogan has a big heart. Probably 700 grams by now. He's been blasting and cruising for over a decade now.

Chess regenerate brainium

For me, it's Streetbeefs. The best Mixed Martial Arts promotion.

Attached: file.png (550x472, 518K)

chuck never had a brain to regenerate

based

BASED

it is in an open field

Cause she eats more pussy in a week than you do in a lifetime?

Unachievable with pidarashka genes.

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She got a big booty so I call her big booty

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skrt skrtt

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imagine being homosexual

Attached: 1554144029106.jpg (682x1023, 73K)

t. low test fag

I miss the Slovakia poster

Attached: GoodbyeSensei.jpg (650x614, 188K)

All the organs grow apparently

Peak burgerpunk aesthetic, big fan of streetbeefs here. But to any Americans, is this what day to day life in the US is really like?

if i'm a fag for not being into masculine, muscular, titless women with short hair and tattoos then call me a cocksucker

t. slovakian poster

SNIFF

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Can rogan reach dana white if he continues red-maxing?

youtube.com/watch?v=8Pz83AF9bXQ

ok cocksucker

He was the ultimate fight fan, he's the only one that comes to mind when gender wars and brawl in a mall took place.

just let me bang bro

I do let you bang

let me bang *sniff*

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DC crying for his money fight, hope Jon heems him again

>DC crying for his money fight, hope Jon heems him again

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Hes a Faggot germ, cormier is giving stipe a rematch and he can't respect that.

How do some people seem immune to brain damage and CTE? This graybeard has been boxing his whole life and seems fine, even went the distance with Vitali Klitsckko several years ago.

How do I get achieve this durability? Is Cannonmode attainable natty?

Attached: Shannon_Briggs_(2016).jpg (480x360, 90K)

LET'S GO CHAMP

how you're hit affects it too, its why some boxers have literally just fallen down dead after being knocked out early in their career

Fighters you hope go on a career-defining and life-enhancing win streak?

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>Hey DC, you wanna give Stipe a rematch?
Nah, gimme Derrick The Human Can Lewis
>Hey DC, you wanna give Stipe a rematch?
Nah, give me the invalid fake fighter that juices
>Hey DC, you wanna defend your legacy against the only man that heemed you into a living death before you retire?
Nah, think Stipe deserves it

reddest pill

>he thinks Jones would fight at HW
Lmao so hard

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you need to be asthmatic and roid your ass until you can only say your dumb slogan. Shannon is still based

youtube.com/watch?v=eysbjW-Jmig

the only division filled with more bums than lhw is hw

And yet Jones talks about moving up for "the right matchup". For sure Santos,Walker, and Anderson are more dangerous than Stipe,Ngannou,Blaydes,JDS. Idiot

LE BASED BONES DC IS LE RIBBIT DAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! XDDDDDDD

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wrong

The difference is the punching power that bums have

probably the worst poster on heem

Look out for Yole.jpg, it's him.

Whoever made this should kts asap tbqhwyf

I'd be happy for you but it also depends on your time frame. If its in ten years Demi will be a fat junkie selling herself for smack

Dude please stop
why are all the nordics so goddamn faggy
i thought it was only the swedes

DC deserves Jones at heavyweight. It's his only chance at redemption. DC would be the GOAT if he beat Jon at heavyweight.

Jon knows he can't beat thicc DC, he isn't going to let DC have a redemption arc.

>Santos starches Jones
>Smif starches Gustafsson
>Smif/Santos II to close out 2019

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Stipe via decision

I hope we are on this timeline

unflushed fighters don't exist

Jones will get a rematch right away if he ever loses.

based

Stockon bitch

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>cancer defining
>defining
"Native" speakers in charge of knowing what the fuck they're saying in their own language.

Khabib would like to disagree

Leave him alone, why are you so aggressive Felix?

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>making an egregious typo
>while trying to get uppity about language
Oh no no nono

>cancer defining

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Have sex.

Ohaimas! Watashi wa Floyd ~desu

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>Johnny Walker
>fighting out of Southampton

Wat

Attached: 15064561485724.png (756x316, 27K)

Guys i have an announcment to make
pls stop virgin shaming, some people might feel really bad about it
ill try not to despite having been mean

i thought he trained in Scotland?
either way, he's based in the UK a lot I think

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Damn. I assumed he was fighting out of Brazil

Why would a brasilian train in the uk
makes no sense... You guys were never known to have good fighting gyms
In europe the dutch were the best

Kek I know you're cringing hard from making that typo rn, come on lad post something

based pride rules johnny
hues will reign again

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>Walker ended up receiving an offer from a Scottish businessman to train there and moved to that country. However, after a month he received no pay and left.[3] In early 2018, Walker made the move to England where he fought for various promotions and added 3 more wins to his record and earned a spot on Dana White's Tuesday Night Contender Series in August 2018. Although from Brazil, Walker chose to represent himself as from England as he felt that is where he was able to reach his potential.

>watching non-Japanese MMA
>ever
i seriously hope you guys don't do this

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Rewatched the Eddie vs Dustin 2 in anticipation of Dustin's fight with Khabib and I seriously don't know what to make of Poirier's takedown defense. First of all, there's fact is that Eddie took Dustin down twice, but it can be argued that Eddie succeeded on the takedowns because Dustin tried those shitty meme guillotine """chokes""", which he unsurprisingly failed both times. Now I'm left wondering: had Dustin not tried the meme chokes, would his TDD have held up against Eddie's wrestling? Truth to be told, I'm not convinced it would have, because jumping for guillotines like that reeks of desperation, especially from someone who prefers to stand and bang.

If we go back to Khabib, obviously those shitty meme chokes are not going to work on him, so if Dustin tries his jumping guillotine shit, he's definitely going down to the mat. But what happens if Dustin actually tries to stuff the takedown? Do you think he'll be able to stop Khabib? Give me some opinions, lads.

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Heard he raped a fella

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Oktoberfest makes german titties bigger?

Do you think he'll be able to stop Khabib?
"no"

freebie fight for khabob

I dont think hell have the size advantage as against max and khabib will hang and hump his leg near the cage
i dont think dustin will be the one to give halabeeb his first loss

Dustin will get taken down in the first couple rounds but take little damage while the pillowfist towel lover faggot gasses himself humping

Dustin has a much better chance than the 75IQ real estate guy did to spark the """"champ"""" late

Nigguh, no one has ever gotten up from under Khabib being less tired than Khabib. Khabib's top game may not be devastating in terms of damage, but it is stiffling in terms of how it affects both your gastank and your mental state. If Dustin wins this fight, it won't be through cardio, but through raw power on the feet and landing that one well-placed shot.

>who's next for her?

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rot pillet meine digga

the strap

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The day khabib fights people from his real weight class (that division full of grapplers) will be the day he gets flushed back to Afganistan

I still can’t believe what Jones did do Gus in the rematch. Gus is an absolute killer and Jones made him look like a puppy

This penis

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>Gus is an absolute killer
is he though..?

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If "those grapplers" belong to the same weight class as Khabib, they can come to 155 and fight him.

Well he did lose pathetically to Rumble and DC

Maybe he really is a can

Attached: smugbib.jpg (241x271, 14K)

Understand this, 155 is not khabibs division.

I have no idea how he keeps doing it, this is the 4th fighter he's done.

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Khabib making weight says your opinion on the matter is worthless dogshit.

Claudio Silva came here to train as well, doesn't make much sense.

he's so good at making weight that it almost seems like he ate that tiramisu with bad intentions

He's so good at making weight he made it in his last 3 fights and had the best performance in his career which proves that he was not drained by the cut at all.

>le tiramisu meme
how to detect a tony redditor 101
tony is a former welterweight, goddamn cutbabby piece of shit

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no, too many chinks

...

So that’s why he had seizures the last time, Muhammad?

He didn't. Anyone who regurgitates that nonsense outs himself as a mongoloid who hasn't even watched the interview.

Both are faggot cheating niggers, they hate themselves because they are so alike, but they kinda could do a buddy cop action film

your sponsors decide where you fight from, unless you can pay for your camp out of pocket

khabib doesnt do damage because people fight hard against him
this is very tiring
you either take damage, or gas out. cant just rest under khabib, you gotta struggle.

Worked

she had her guard passed every round, that's not how you win over judges