/heem/

What a day of mma fights
#blessed
#lovemma
#heemsself

Wake up DC

Attached: HULK.png (907x714, 509K)

Easy win for Rory

This was a boring fight. Grappling is boring to watch.

Mike is a pill addict, I don't think he smokes anything.

I think that Christianity has killed Rory killer instinct

My guess is meth?

Nobody cares about that fatass photoshop master. He will never fight

I watched one of Fitch's vids. Guy eats more memepills than woodley

Fitch
Rory
Fitch
Rory
Fitch

Unironically. But I could see Rd1 going to Rory.

Fitch would wrestlefuck Usman.

Attached: paulanergirl.jpg (128x145, 10K)

48-47 Fitch

The scorecards are taking too long, the fix is in.

Lawler killed Rory

The ref just read the scorecard aloud too close to a mic, Rory won lol

Usman is a far better wrestler than Fitch

Reminder: POSTLIMS to follow this fight

I'm not entirely sure if this is true, but rumor has it that he eats used tampons.

This but unironically. Fitch would dominate Usman

>Trap/Hip hop version of Sandstorm
Is nothing sacred?

Attached: screen-shot-2015-04-01-at-18-26-27-1024x519.png (767x431, 330K)

>deliberating for 10 minutes over this obvious result

RORY will deffo win, Coker wants that

GET THE FIX RIGHT YOU CUNTS

DRAW LMAO

BULL SHIT

BULL SHIT

BULL SHIT

BELLATOR IS FUCKED

>Draw
OK, this is based.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

FIXED AF

LOL

LMAO nice save there Coker.

>five full rounds of "action"

Majority draw BAHAHAHAHAHAHA what a way to end a shitty fucking fight

lmao

This is why nobody watches your bullshit cringeator lmao

Attached: n08A8NO.jpg (600x805, 54K)

>two true warriors

Attached: _95cc0ed64ed5b8a31d40ae11c5b02c33.jpg (306x306, 20K)

BULLSHIT

FITCH WON

SIMPLE AS

I can't believe I watched one guy lay on another guy for 25 minutes to result in a fucking draw

Smellator at its finest

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

>BELLATOR
>BELLATOR
>BELLATOR

Fucking robbery, fuck that stupid faggot rory and that mudslime firas

Rory moves on in the tournament now LMAO

HAHAHA lellator neiman is going to sub Rory

draw my arse, colour it in with crayons

Which round was scored 10-8? And for who

>thinking fitch won

stream shit itself just as he said 47-47, even the stream has had enough of this shit

HAHHAHHAHHA

It’s a fight you absolute fucking faggot, not a wrestling match. Fitch did less than zero to hurt the opponent

Has Fitch ever won a fight

>this post fight interview

Attached: 1547869572370.jpg (396x691, 117K)

Based ending I got worked

well done Bellator

Rory won easily imo

Robbie deleted his chin and Neiman is going to sub him

Why is Rory putting himself down so hard right now? Is he that torn up on getting Fitch'd?

Rory is flushed lol

>draw after one side obviously won
What the fuck, is this boxing?

Attached: 1526190564733.jpg (1378x2039, 1.09M)

>Christianity killed rory
thank you jesus

Lmao rory wanted to retire tonight

Attached: 138c9498-a1c6-11e7-9b87-8db76d366795.jpg (558x699, 77K)

some kino Rory asmr right here

Told you Christianity killed Rory LMAO

>t. got cucked by wrestlers in high school

holy shit get a sports psychologist

Heemed by the Lord

"I lost because I'm too pious"

LITERALLY WHAT!?!??!?!?

Rory is going to become a monk??????

Wtf, feeling for Rory here

>The lord took my heems away

>he watches bellator.

Attached: 1518923901376.jpg (485x390, 21K)

Some good shit nigga. you out there smokin mid and dont know shit about mma

Wrestlefucking is boring enough to watch at least get the decision right holy shit that fight was terrible

Fair call

I agree, Rory was robbed

wow, that was weird

Lol no. He wouldn't get him down. Usman also hits way harder than Rory.

Current Fitch may beat Maia on the ground though, no joke.

Dumb kikestians

BASED FITCH

>i can't pull the trigger
>i don't know
>but eh..
>as a man
>i have to get out of here
>something is different
He really sounded confident for his next fight.

Attached: Bellethots.png (851x586, 441K)

Rory is low test

It's got to be Fitch getting a 10-8, no way it was Rory.

Attached: _____.png (250x418, 121K)

Take it up with the commission you fucking retard. Fitch dominated that fight whether you like it or not

god told me to pull butterfly guard, he also told me hell is real and it's full of animals

That's not what happened dipshit.

Retard, lay and pray ain't shit.

He's gonna retire before the next fight, book it

Might fap to Rorys sister

>uh yeah i think fitch won but ok
Bellator

Attached: 6.jpg (852x480, 38K)

Rory's bitch is pretty cute

did rory just retire?

It sounded like that for sure.

>yeah...I mean...I have no testicles but I am still a man...I dunno... I mean...incel...Yea Forums...loser.

did you cum at least?

YA YA YAAA

Attached: YAAA.jpg (1000x667, 135K)

He's lost his smile lads.

Such a technical fight lads! It really put it into perspective how bwa hahahahanananaahah fuck lellator

It's very interesting, Bellator's there trying to hype his next fight, but Rory's basically saying he's not for this anymore and he's literally Bellator's Champ

He has CTE. that failing to pull the trigger is a major symptom, its what people noted about Muhammad Ali before he retired, he wouldnt throw any punches and people thought it was brain damage even back then.

>Imagine being Sonnen and having to promote and get excited about this

Lol fitch was juiced out of his fucking monkey brains for this and couldnt win against the flushed husk of roidry mccuckold

Based Chael trying to spin that obviously foreshadowed retirement.

Retard, getting taked down only matters if A) the beat the shit out of you, B) they pass your guard C) you don't smoke them on the feet and D) you don't have to defend submissions constantly. I gave Fitch round 3. MAYBE round 5.

Yeah, that was weird.

marty has one(1) KO in 10 fights retard. Literal pillows where bones should be. He makes Fitch look like Tyson

>Sonnen math

Chael working the marks and BTFO'ing judges

Fitch won. DAZN flushed.

He won 1 round MAYBE 2.

He's definitely considering it, didn't fight well this fight, if he lets Fitch advance there would be no objections, and it's a Grand Prix to determine a champion so he doesn't hold up the division. Perfect timing.

In Bellator maybe. In the UFC lay and praying for about 90 seconds guarantees you the round.

...and 5..eat shit fuckstain

Jesus whispered to me, and said I need to aim for the decision victory so my opponent can have a longer career and also hell is real and it's full of animals

wtf is wrong with bellator, all their fights are dissapointing.

He was trying to but he's even too much of a pussy to do that

I saw him knock one guy out. Never saw Fitch know anyone out. He hurt his last opponent several times. Literally never seen Fitch hurt anone with an individual shot always through fatigue.

Rory sounded like he's committing suicide soon

how's that moldy weed

Bjorn got his Native Casino Indian friends to lay a powerful curse on Bellator when he was ousted.

They should just book the fight for Fitch and have the winner get the belt.

Reminder we're now in an era where UFC are staging fights harder than Jap orgs like Rizin

Hardy's opponent i mean wtf

Attached: 1375285200951.png (421x433, 239K)

>draw with John Fitch
So Rory is on BJ Penn's level, then?

>yeah...I mean...i dunno...I may just swallow a bullet tonight...maybe hang myself...I dunno...I thought...I just wasn't feeling it...

>nicknamed "Lifeguard"
>can't even guard your own life

You're right nothing happened for 25 minutes. Boring ass fight

Rory is too pious to hurt people. Heem bless.

>literally can’t refute or make an argument
It’s the same boring shit Fitchs been doing for 13 years

Can crushing is staging a fight?

Nope want my 25 minutes back could have just watched porn. At least when wmma fighters put on shitty fights I can stare at their ass during the fight.

Bravo bellator. You've done it once again!

Seriously. What the hell is wrong with them?

Rory just wants to get back home to /biz/ and crypto-trading
It's hot hot hot right now, the rebound is ON

>Rory pops for coke
>Baloons in weight
>After a couple of years of non stop coke and pints he reenters the gym
>trains hard as fuck
>gets a fight against Usman
>Is draw-robbed from a clear win after almost getting KO'd in the last round
Don't be suprised if they book this angle.

Lol, no. His gnp was shit, no posture into those shots. Rory could model moisturizer with his post fight face. Fitch didn't pass guard. Spent two minutes surviving a triangle even though Rory was smushed against the fence. got lit up standing.

Fitch did better than expected, but that is largely due to Rory being non lethal standing and backing himself to the fence to stop the takedown. Out in the open, he would've gotten out.

Fitch stole some tricks from Khabib though, lol. (preventing Rory from getting to his knees)

>Fitch won 5 rounds

Wat?

The postlims will save the show.

So Rory gets to continue even with a draw?

What MMA should do is in extra round if the judges have it even like they do the ultimate fighter.

Robbie deleted Rory
Wonderboy sent him down the shitter
The Lima fight flushed him
Mousasi ethered him
Fitch sent him through the void

if you're literally feeding a guy to another guy knowing the outcome, isn't that basically staging?

jacare is about to heem himself

yeah, creepy desu

its the new Qatar of football.

post her

Postlims are based, nice chill cooldown fights

Fitch passed his guard multiple times, what are you even talking about?

>Fitch stole some tricks from Khabib though, lol. (preventing Rory from getting to his knees)
Thats a pretty common grappling technique. What is wrong with you?

why would you even try to defend that fight?

Will Gracie finally shadowrealm him?

Fitch knocked out Alves many years ago on Fight Night 5 on a lucky upkick
youtube.com/watch?v=MHHSzm2Lh3k
Turn your speakers down.

Give me a funny filename for this lads

Attached: 1556420510340[1].webm (1280x720, 2.94M)

It would literally be Fitch vs Hendricks all over again lmfao. Fitch fell like an oak tree from that left hand.

bjorn's dad is winnebago man. the winnebago are a native american tribe. the lore goes deep

Should have started his career later, done at 29 y/o, that's sad.

No dumbass

What am I defending? That an uber can getting crushed isn’t staged? Why are you such a faggot?

Passing guard means side control or mount. Half guard is still a guard.

I mean pulling his bottom knee up so his kneecaps point to the ceiling. Only seen Khabib do this consistently.

Wasn’t funny the first time

You can generate rotational force with ZERO posturing of any kind

>corelets can't into this fact

yes it was

I smell another Majority Draw

Coral here on my way home from BB&T.

Had an absolute blast at the fights tonight.

Can’t post pics on my phone because of a range ban, but when I’m home I’ll post some.

Chrissy Blair is so much prettier is person my goodness.

Go to a live ufc event if you ever have the chance. The energy and passion of the fans is insane!

>replying in literally a minute
At least give me some anticipation. Desperate much?

Which he did multiple times

>mean pulling his bottom knee up so his kneecaps point to the ceiling. Only seen Khabib do this consistently.
Yes youre still a newfaggot that’s obvious

((((((((((((((((((((((((((dazn)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Drive into a semi.

BASED Rory working the marks.

What are you referring too? my shits still breathing its so fresh

It's sad to see Rory like this he was supposed to be the next gsp

>all these cazzies thinking Fitch didn’t merk Rory

Rosenthal doing a nice job on work release

I’m not the one driving I’m not a good driver

Except he didn't rotate his trunk either, lol.

Which round?

Been watching closely since 2011. Maybe I only started paying attention to that since Cruz pointed it out in UFC 219, but most guys just let guys do what they want with the lower body and focus on the bodylock and mat return them.

based coral, sorry i don't use discord anymore because you're a total bro.

How is a draw a merking?

well shit bro if i were you i would dry it and cure it before you get pneumonia

Glad you had fun, Coral. Schaub Bless.

retard lmao

Rory is sad because he spent all his money on bitcoin.

Don’t sweat it. Was glad to hear about your Nunes bet, did you have anyone tonight?
Thanks dude. Schaub bless. We all have to treat ourselves once in a while.

why do canadians love smoking wet weed

the only canadian grower i ever knew smoked buds straight of his plants and always said "you know it's good if it doesn't burn"

Imagine being the guys that sold on the top.

Imagine if MVP actually wins this tournament. Everyones high on Lima but wouldn't surprise me one bit to see him let a decision slide.

Rory sounded like he wants to retire after that clown fiesta. Was he planning to lose, and if so, was Fitch just so pathetic and incompetent that he couldn't even be fed a win?

>Bitcoin and Christianity
Rory got 'red-pilled' here and paid for it.

Even worse, he was paid in DASH when it was like $1200 a coin. $111 now.

Why does Christianity ruin everything?

It's cold so they sit inside all day.
Weed is great for that.

Nah bud, the KZ v Yair fight made me slowly stop due to how pissed off i was.

The strange thing is that for Brazilians, Christianity means they will be forgiven for killing someone and can kill in God's name. I dunno what went wrong for Rory but his Christianity is gay.

Larkin will win it.

The whole scoring system needs an overhaul, and I don't mean changing the 10-x format. Takedowns should be rated lower, and love taps to the ribs from above in a tight guard should not account for much. Pinning guys down should not be enough to win the round, this is not a fucking wrestling match. You gotta do the ACTUAL damage from the top, like Khabib or Akren usually do.

Oh and FUCK Jon Fitch, what a fucking faggot. I hope he gets taken down permanently if you know what I mean. 49-46 Rory

It was made by jews.

>coral
Man it’s hard keeping track. Is he scatty or not? Is he the dude who does picks?

>Another draw
God bless Bellator.

What the fuck bros why don't any other states get their own flag?

They should just make the crowd the judge like in Roman times. It will favor action.

Sounds about right.

this
fuck abrah*moids

heemwiki.fandom.com

Women should be kept in cages

the r*dditors will leave soon dont bother acknowledging them

>people actually watching bellator
is /heem/ finally dead?

When and how did Rory go from 'the weird goth kid of mma' to a hardcore Christian breaking down over Jesus in interviews?

Ah man that’s brutal.

Kurt Angle came close to fighting in the UFC.
Imagine what prime Angle could do to some of these bums.

Attached: Kurt_Angle_Steve_Austin.jpg (760x968, 33K)

Thanks, I’ll be back in an hour or two to use your epic memes :)

Will Rico Verhoeven ever fight for UFC? Also when is Cormier vs Lesnar?

ever heard of the crusaders buddy boy? He just needs some time to decipher what God was telling him in that ring and he'll come back stronger than ever fighting on behalf of the Lord.

Attached: crusader.jpg (184x184, 22K)

He's to pure for this trashbin of a sport.

holy shit why havent I thought of this

>3 of Bellator's big names fight on the same card
>people would rather talk about a card with a can-crush co-main and a meh main

The crusades was gay and bluepilled.

r u dumb?

Attached: rory red king.png (1367x768, 812K)

I have Mensa tier IQ to be fair.

Attached: 1512464429999.png (698x508, 107K)

Lads, you have no idea how bad it was. I was in the arena for the rory/fitch fight. Holy fuck it was grueling. The boredom was intense. A drunk guy was sitting next to me constantly screaming during the fight "FITCH IS A BITCH KILL THAT PUSSY" nonstop. He was also yelling during the co main saying "PUNCH HER IN THE PUSSY". I'm done with live mma events holy fuck they are anti-comfy.

alright goodnight heem the main card was ok tonight but the prelims were shit
bellator was >Bellator

it will favour mandrama and trash-talk and justbleed and all that bullshit

where are the webm's??

Attached: ``c r.jpg (670x377, 29K)

What coal mine did they pull this ref out of

They can just go for the knock out then if it's such an issue. And that's how you get the fans on your side anyway.

Reminder that Perry almost killed himself at the gym and jacare saved him

Attached: rory face lawler.gif (640x360, 509K)

Being retarded is an advantage in cage fighting

Attached: Perry dance off with Oliveira.webm (960x540, 2.94M)

based

Attached: denied.webm (1280x720, 2.95M)

They're mutually disgusted by the other. There's no way they can be physically intimate.

Deep inside they still needs cock.

Attached: 1523435601733.png (1000x1000, 1.33M)

holy FUCK mma is shit. lol

Attached: dont look.png (978x574, 858K)

Rory's gettin subbed by that gracie chad

nunes can do way better

Is this a fake relationship?

Imagine scissoring with Nunes with that fucking accent.

I resonate with nunes cos neither of us are probably gonna get any pussy tonight

glad another meme fighter got flushed

Attached: career-ending pregnancy.webm (1280x720, 2.93M)

Is the Perry fight worth watching? I missed it

i fell asleep
how was the main card

It was fight of the night

Pretty good. Hermansson used alot of energy looked like he was gassing and then apparently had unlimited stamina

Coral here I’m back home.

Here’s the pic as promised.

Got a couple more.

Attached: BAA3E456-3649-4584-96C1-7D75F26B8C4D.jpg (3264x2448, 1.69M)

>JJ can outchin grown men.

Attached: CD186D98-40F0-4D13-A334-8CFD462331EE.jpg (3264x2448, 2.63M)

based

Yeah he gas-tanked jacare.

is he redeemed?

Attached: 1547960746039.png (1266x1437, 1.92M)

Do you have pics of Sounders?

Good but not great

Glover-Cutelaba and Perry-Evil Cowboy were the best fights

forgot pic. souza looks like JDS in the top section.

Attached: Untitled.jpg (529x659, 114K)

No, but here’s an Arlovski who I thought won.

Attached: B0B90ADB-0CE7-43F2-A300-AF1BF94FE604.jpg (3264x2448, 1.79M)

jacare too old
he was a scary beast on his peak
i dont understand how perry could have won on decission and not gass
great seats
mirin tbqh , how was it

Attached: 1526846316666.jpg (1080x1430, 156K)

Attached: souza-hermansson.rd1.jack-rocking-jacare.webm (1280x720, 2.9M)

>great seats
>mirin tbqh , how was it
Oh man it was a complete blast.

Attached: souza-hermansson.rd1.jack-rocking-jacare-and-going-for-his-special-move.webm (640x360, 2.95M)

He shouldn't have been dq'd here that is clearly a knee to the hand.

And only a bit. UFC put themselves in a pickle with Hardy. He was too high profile to have a normal career path, he needs fight experience and beatable dudes. Usually he'd be in a lower promotion beating scrubs but the UFC had to scoop him up because if he figures it out all the way he's gonna be great business. You gotta know that if the UFC didn't sign him that Bellator would've at the first opportunity. So maybe another 2 fights against scrubby heavyweights and then they'll give him a real opponent. For right now I'd just call him deemed.

I think Adesanya can get bullied if you can out gas him.

Is he actually a big star? I checked his Twitter and Instagram and his numbers don't look special.

Jack Hermansson most have a big set of balls to hop in Jacare's guard the way he did, Yoel wanted nothing to do with Jacare's guard.

Attached: Yoel Guard game.webm (640x360, 2.99M)

Insanely infamous. His notability would suck up the room in a lower promotion

He is a pretty big star relative to mma only because he had one good nfl season and he is a wife beater. He was mostly known for being a wife beater though.

I've always thought Jacares guard is overrated, like the fear is bigger than the risk. In recent memory everyone whose jumped into his guard has been safe. And his overconfidence in it means he doesn't try to get back up.

colby posts here and on pol
right?
youtu.be/7jPSseHd1Bw

That looked like he was tapping under his body there

joanna is such a fucking filthy kobieta

BASADO. Gostosa

Who do you guys have Aldo or Volkanovski?

Aldo. Volkanovski aint ready

Insane win streak though.

I wanna fuck Joanna more than ever just cause of this stupid “web em”. I’m going to head to bed with my beautiful fiancé who I can cum inside of whenever I want and the promise of a child is imminent. However something about this “web em”.

A L D O
L
D
O

Attached: Aldo Stephens.jpg (770x433, 52K)

Yeah only good fight 2bh.

volkanovski

Is Saunders getting cut

barely aldo

Impressive but hes a grappler, its easy for them to run up winstreaks. only impressive victory was a mendes who was over the Hill. we could end up seeing Aldo held down for 3 rounds but I sincerely doubt it, Aldo does great against grapplers

Seeing a lot of comparisons between Volkanovski and Edgar which I really don't agree with, I think he's a much more dangerous fight for Aldo. Brings that insane pace and will no doubt be trying to make Aldo gas.Think being 3 rounds and it being in Brazil though Aldo decision.

bisKING predicted hermannson to win, BAsedKING

I'm going to be on heem all day today so feel free to talk to me about anything.

anyone else feel sad for jacare?
just saw the press conference
he looks so sad bros
he didnt even want the fight
but you just know dana would fuck him over anyway if he didnt take it

who does the uk love?

No. Im shocked no one is talking about how Fitch just man handled Rory for 5 rounds on Jon Mcarthy was on the mic acting like it was obvious Rory was winning. what a fucking screw job

What should i do today

Yeah, that was disgusting but I loved it because fuck Fitch

Attached: just fitch.jpg (673x464, 64K)

This nigga is my height and weighed in at 190 pounds during fight night

I'm his height and 190lb and im skinny asf. Its not that hard if you have a decent frame.
In saying that, I doubt I could cut to 175lbs without dying.

Rory didn't because he was planning to retire after losing but Fixator has to make a bull shenanigans call and say it's a draw.

No webm of saunders sperging after being sent to the shadow realm?

>Poocare

Attached: 1538654155.jpg (1200x803, 155K)

Attached: imperator Dana.jpg (641x656, 80K)

Yeah I'm not even a wrestlefuck apologist but McCarthy really is too biased towards damage.
After a certain amount of time, control should be worth more

What i noticed when i went to ufc london the octagon girls are indeed hotter in person

How could you not?

Attached: Jacare sad.jpg (2048x1365, 796K)

how many times is his moron going to say "he's letting him lunch himself out!"

Attached: 081911CF-3D6F-487B-9AB6-891350BB7887.png (235x317, 120K)

JUST

ahah loser

Attached: Jack Hermansson.jpg (400x400, 131K)

Übercazzie spotted

Be humble.

I can not keep doing this to myself lads, I'm so tired. I need to get into a sport that's on during the daytime instead.

nah, bc he was bitching about fighting hermansson like "its not worth my time"

I think he felt that even if he won they wouldn't give him his title shot. Which probably would've been the case.

>"Alright, so there was like this rubber band hanging from the pull-up bar and this rubber band was like for workouts, it was a thick band.
We were about to do filming with the ESPN crew and umm, I don’t know what I was thinking, but I put my head in this thing and was like I’m going to do a neck workout.
>And work on my ability to take a choke,” Mike Perry explained. “So I lean forward and it wraps around my neck and so I flex myself so that I could hold on.
And in two seconds, as soon as lean forward (and flex), next thing I know Alan, from the UFC, and Jacare Souza are there.
>Alan is like slapping me and they’re pouring water on me.
But, they say Jacare, this while he was filming for ESPN, he was hitting a bag and he sees me, and Danielle was right next to me – she thinks I’m playing around, so she’s like ‘Mike quit playing’.
>So within two seconds I pass out and swing and then she’s hears a bang and she looks up and says ‘Mike stop playing’.
So I had hit my face against the metal pull-up bar and I’m passed out.
>Plus I’m still hanging from this thing.
I’m hanging myself at this point and Jacare sees me and runs over quick and pulls me out of this thing.
>Then they were like waking me up.
When I came too I was like ‘Oh man, it was a bad joke. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare everybody.’”

is mike perry retarded?

Attached: mike-perry-ufc-fight-night-118-qa-1000x-01.jpg (1000x600, 621K)

>be 6th degree BJJ blackbelt
>do absolutely nothing when your opponent gets in your guard
Poocare deserved to get flushed.

he would heem them all he's like dc if dc was 10 times the wrestler

thats fair ig idk it just seems dumb to have that mindset when fighting someone, it normally leads to getting heem'd

>tfw getting too old for a second shot and just lost to someone the casual viewer doesn't even know about
:(

Thoughts on poocare?

It takes a certain kind of person to post on /heem/ and I just don’t know... I’m a different man now. Schaub has been calling me. He was speaking to me tonight. I just don’t know if I have it anymore b

Beat Yoel.

Pooel*

wow lithcuck, how can you turn on your boy like that?

Im not lithcuck

jacare was out

Attached: the joker.jpg (540x305, 39K)

you telling me that there is more than one lithuanina poster on heem?
Get the fuck out of here, lithcuck

Pooel, pissrael getting flushed next

Attached: 1544196089071.jpg (329x330, 21K)

2019... I am forgotten

Attached: Stiopic.jpg (2000x1333, 170K)

coming for that big boy strap

Attached: Dazza.jpg (643x710, 79K)

EVERYONE AND ANYONE I DON CEHH

Attached: Toilet Till Flushed.webm (1280x720, 2.94M)

Ive just had the perfect fart.
AMA

where to boss?

Attached: flushed taxi.png (600x440, 388K)

>Souza is promised a title shot if wins
>loses
How many times have we seen this?!

Attached: 695.gif (450x253, 1.72M)

shoot yourself with small caliber ammo to build up resistance

nearest toilet

>Rory is a fightlet now

>where to boss?
Cain's house, and step on it.

You can add Aldo to the other seat in a couple weeks

Attached: Englands Muhammad Magovolkanovoskivitch.jpg (1280x720, 130K)

Dana is a dick and hates brazilians. No matter the environment, you will get screwed by the business if you are too nice.

Attached: STILL.jpg (628x315, 20K)

Lawler really flushed Rory didnt he?

Attached: heem rory is flushed.png (814x338, 31K)

He took his fighting soul, Rory is done.

But then you try and play by the book like this guy and lose you're going to get so much hate. It's a tough one.

Attached: Cejudo_v_Dillashaw_Press_Conference.jpg (1176x661, 432K)

Kek

>29 yo
>noselet
>fightlet
>retains title by majority draw
SAD!!

Attached: moosekillsrory.webm (900x506, 2.98M)

>Rory tapped
Sheeeit

How were the fights last night?

Attached: 05b4a77cac1191.jpg (720x960, 225K)

Play by your own book and your own interests to not get screwed by unknown consequences.

I kept saying I thought Lima would win that fight and getting called stupid, it's a shame he didn't really show up that night because it is a winnable fight for him.

Attached: Douglas Lima vs Rory Macdonald round 3..webm (800x450, 2.99M)

pretty good, im glad the perry meme lives on, hue cowboy has always been a bit of bitch desu, but he has that monkey strenght so i thought he would grind perry down.

Pretty sure he is fighting DC this summer

Remember that time Scrub Swanson thought he could beat Frankie and skip over Conor for the title shot? Then he got beat up and his jaw broken lol
>that was 5 years ago
Time is a peach of a beast bros

I have never seen Game of Thrones.

>all those people back in 2016 who thought Rory would still make it in UFC
Nigga is finna flushed

Attached: 1549319706062.jpg (1280x720, 47K)

>Flushed before 30
Damn

>illegal knee
>illegal elbow
if you think either of these exist, kill yourself immediately

Attached: haha how is GnP real lmao.webm (853x480, 2.99M)

this

Attached: Khabib Conor grounded knee.webm (960x540, 2.93M)

Now the Khabib fight makes sense.

me going to my favorite prostitue although she punches a lil lower...

heemansson is gonna flush pooel

Fight Greg.... Please.

That's a top 5 peach of a punch right there. I too think Aldo wins, but I love the dude he is fighting too.

Schaub used to pride himself on this and shittalk people that watched it. Then he started watching it and is 100% the biggest fan anybody who hasn’t seen it can lose his number khaleesis got a peach on her for sure

kek
>significant strikes
>3

>en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mike_Perry_(fighter)

10/10

Attached: mike perry.png (289x657, 154K)

Is Jacare officially the best UFC fighter to never get a title shot?

Poocare is shit

what is it about the ww division that favours sleep inducing leg staggers?

Jacare won the fight in every way

I can't think of a notable opponent he's beaten in the last few years. He chokes against any real competition. He got killed by Rockhold lmao

more likely it's gonna be fatselum, i reckon they're gonna go back to yoel vs natty paulo

*is an annoying swedish prospect that flushes beloved prospect in your path*

retard

Aside from actually winning the fight

Based and hermano-san pilled

Attached: Tony Ferguson crazy training.webm (480x270, 743K)

I'm fucking pissed!

>He got killed by Rockhold
t.never seen the fight

Poocare was never good

>be old experienced fighter
>fight younger less experienced
>lose
wtf what is the point of being older and more experienced why arent all fighters just young guys whats the point of being old?

Something was off with Jacare from the start, didn't do his Alligator clap as he walked out like usual. An immediate rematch would be good both having full camps, for the interim belt.

>officially the best UFC fighter to never get a title shot?

Attached: marcus.jpg (183x275, 11K)

> kek

Yes, yes weve already discussed this a hundred /heem/ threads ago

Attached: piana.png (300x300, 142K)

Jacare? More like poocare, amirite?

Attached: Whittaker heems Jacare.webm (1064x600, 2.83M)

It's tough.

I haven't heard him drop a single Yea Forums reference yet desu. It sucks that Colby is the way he is. Having an actual /our guy/ in the UFC sneaking in a heem reference here and there would be pretty funny.

>Is Jacare officially the best UFC fighter to never get a title shot?
Does Tony Ferguson count?
And technically Yoel Romero never fought for a title, due to weight.

They used to have TRT so you could have experience + the big dick energy

That would be Smoliakov

We talmbout Brendan Schaub?

Idk about you guys but imo smoliakov looked very boston salmon-esque yesterday, dare I say, future hw and super hw champ?

B
P
S

Attached: IMG_6454.jpg (1056x1200, 248K)

>rockhold killed him
>the chris isn't a notable opponent

Attached: 1552491307665.jpg (460x606, 36K)

Say his name, /heem/

Attached: brentan schwoble.png (530x748, 797K)

Missed both cards, should I bother watching them?

What happened to Rory guys? He use to be a munster

Lol'd

Attached: 1555015770311.jpg (251x242, 8K)

>What happened to Rory guys? He use to be a munster
Unironically the Lawler fight killed his self esteem and confidence. He stopped being a warrior, and became an employee trying to do the job without suffering damage. Smart, but ugly. Look at Arlowski getting 10 decisions in a row, same. I cringe when heavyweights go to decision.

A couple days ago I was at my class during a free mat time I rarely go so these are always best for me since its in and out really quick and fits in to my schedule perfectly, everything seemed normal at first just rolling around getting absolutely destroyed by everyone until the last 15 minutes or so. I could feel that weird bubbly feeling in my gut and I knew I had to go. Before rolling I ended up drinking a Java Monster which NEVER agrees with me and I should of just waited until after to do so. But during those last 15 minutes I was in closed guard the guy on top ends up getting side control and then goes knee on belly, I kept trying to shrimp out but it was literally impossible he kept pressing harder and harder and my stomach got bubblier and bubblier until he went full mount. When he went into full mount he just completely slammed down on to my stomach and I Could feel brown canyon just BURST like a geyser. It reeked almost immediately and could see that my sparring partner could smell it. His face of pure disgust still haunts me. His nose basically trying to seal its self shut his eyes concerned and confused. I PUSHED him off and tried playing it off as I farted but my stomach is hurting so I should be safe and go to the restroom. I 100% think he knew I pooped myself because he didn't even say a word. My poor briefs were covered in a bmx track and my gi even had a few dots on it too on the inside. I didn't even bother finishing the last ten minutes or so of rolling. I just left and haven't came back out of pure embarrassment.

Attached: 589993924.jpg.0.jpg (1200x800, 115K)

>Le midget that got dropped by Mini Mendes
Bum. Punished Aldo starches him.

Attached: Tg9Ixjqy_400x400.jpg (400x400, 15K)

flushed out of the UFC by robbie reddit, permaflushed by gayguard. said it once and i'll say it again; whoever convinced him to take that fight was retarded

Keep your hands to yourself, buddeh

Didn't watch lellator but don't bother with ufc, Perry's fight was spicy but the rest were disappointing

Attached: Weed Man Dropped.webm (1280x720, 2.93M)

wake up Jessica

Attached: RoseNamajunas.jpg (1600x2352, 242K)

Attached: dYXYI6T.gif (480x360, 1.1M)

It’s a fight you fucking retard, damage is the only thing that matters. Even that doesn’t matter because if you didn’t finish you didn’t win.

Black on black violence claims another victim

how is cub still in the top 10 ?
he's a BUM

Attached: cuckswanson.png (3000x2629, 3.31M)

Ortega gang or don't bang

>Ortega gang or don't bang
hypejob, bjj with no takedowns, next

Damn Jacare looked so sad at the post fight press conference

Attached: Jacare sad.jpg (1600x900, 185K)

feels bad, he should probably retire now though. has had a great career but doesnt have the tools be champ at his age

Attached: JUST.jpg (432x525, 79K)

Can't wait for Spainsperg to come laughing at you Jacarefags

What did he say? Couldnt watch tonight, his dreams must have been crushed

Sorry sweaty, we are Yang Gang here

Attached: 20F0E097-3481-4F5A-B9DC-4D9DC0778834.jpg (2048x1364, 515K)

I read an article yesterday where Ortega said his dad literally came over illegally and that he's an anchor baby.
The wall needs to be built and we need to repeal the 14th amendment.

wtf I missed the /heem/ meetup

he's 2-3 to n his last 5,he has no businesses fighting for belt.
he was strikeforce champ, bjj gold medalist, he has enough accolades. time to rest.

I was dozing off during the main event. All I remember is hermanson knocking jacare down and going for a submission but not getting it. Was FOTN perry vs olivera? I bet it was.

>Jack had a great gameplan
>He hit him hard and almost had him with the tight choke in the first
>He feels very sad, had a good camp but couldn't "put his game in the octagon"
>He feels he didn't fight at his best and couldn't get his game going
>He doesn't have plans for his next fight, he wants a vacation and time with his family
He stayed at the post press for like 3 minutes

Attached: JUSTcare.png (502x421, 242K)

>tfw no $1000 gf

First Embedded in history, will be posting first Dana vlog next
youtu.be/ZhevNN1BDnQ
youtu.be/ZhevNN1BDnQ
youtu.be/ZhevNN1BDnQ

at least he dindt have jesus talk to him in his sleep to stop hurting people

The Dana vlogs were so comfy. A lot of them have been deleted from the ufc youtube channel.

>tfw you never trained for any martial arts your entire life and you tell everyone illegal knees aren't real

This is the best entrance theme of all time
m.youtube.com/watch?v=ug_JdOQDxwY

This

You can’t make a body part illegal it makes no sense there is box such thing as an illegal knee it’s like saying there is an illegal penis

Can’t wait for Good Guy Greg to retire Arlovski in brutal fashion

Everyone is saying that but I thought Ion vs Glover was much more exciting. Boomers are my boys.

>2 girls 1 cup
damn, time really flies

Jacapoo looked usada’d, his delts and biceps looked tiny

prime rogan heems mencia

youtube.com/watch?v=gdugSUFbzws

Rogan destroyed that dude's career. I remember when Chappelle's Show went off and then Mind of Mencia became the new ebin comedy show on cable.

>Smolyakov was a Master of Combat Sambo, a national Greco Roman champion, and was 9-0 with 9 finishes all under 4 minutes before entering the UFC

In a lot of ways as far as I care, Greg Hardy is the greatest fighter in UFC history

>let me pretend to be dumber and make jokes about dick
Damn that is a great point.
There is "box such thing"(whatever that meant) as an illegal knee. You are leaning all your weight into a cannon. You have no idea how detrimental one of those blows can be to a person. People have had their careers ended in sparring because idiots like TJ Dillashaw bust that shit out even behind close doors.

Out of the top 15, Greg Hardy would heem RIGHT NOW
Arlovski
Tybura
Tuivasa
Abdurakhimov
Oleinik
Overeem

>Smolyakov was a Master of Combat Sambo
Not sure where you're picking this up from but it's wrong. He has a Master of Sport in Freestyle wrestling, and DC apparently did wrestle with him when he was 15 so he must've been somewhat legit as a freestyle wrestler when he was younger. Every Russian seems to have a Master of Sport rank in something, it kind of seems like being a Golden Gloves Champion, kind of common

Also Rogan would have been well within his rights to slap carlos the moment he called Rogan a bitch.

Rogan as a comedian is more known for this than any of his own jokes.

However let's be real, the bit about who's gonna build the wall could be made up be a million different people independently.

my dogs bjj sparing

You can also have your career ended from a concussion from being punched like TJ Grant. It’s 50x more dangerous for someone to shoot a takedown and dive right into a counter flying knee and get their skull shattered but its 100% legal and applauded. TJ deliberately targeted the back of Holdsworths head full force. Not a reasonable fight concern

SAY HIS FUCKING NAME

Attached: 1540657891253.png (1080x1920, 1.06M)

Thats what they said during the commentary. Buffer called him that so its what Smolyakov told him. Miscommunication probably. Guy is an uber can crusher roid babby though

SAY
HIS
NAME

Attached: 1512147075573.jpg (1599x899, 102K)

Define an illegal penis or stfu you dork nobody is reading your novels

Kek they probably just saw Russian and figured yeah he's on about Sambo
It's Freestyle wrestling though and he truly looked terrible. Even Pride didn't offer this level of crushing

BRENDAN
FUCKING
SCHAUB

Attached: 911472792.jpg.0.jpg (1200x800, 54K)

All glory to Schaublla

I don't think most people even know about the mencia joke stealing thing.

Post the 7th image in your schaub folder im not fucking kidding

Attached: schwab.png (448x601, 554K)

Who is Brendan Schaub?

Glad you asked!

Brendan Schaub is the greatest fighter of all time. He dominated the heavyweight division before branching out to conquer the entertainment world as well. He used to be known as "The Hybrid" because he totally encompasses what it means to be a mixed martial artist. Early in his career he relied on his raw athleticism, but he refined his technique as he progressed as a fighter. Some highlights are when he picked up a clean knockout of the legend Mirko Cro Cop and actually landed the first D'Arce choke in heavyweight history on Matt Mitrione. I could go on for days about Schaubs record as a fighter, but I think it really speaks for itself.

I'm sure you've heard of his podcast before, The Fighter and the Kid (tfatk.com/). TFATK really showcases Brendan's whit and charisma and there is also this little goober named Bryan Callen (the kid). Bryan acts as the foil to Schaub. The show features witty banter and fantastic interviews. Big Brown really creates a relaxed environment and puts his guests at ease. The interviews are like conversations between childhood friends catching up. If you need to find the latest episode, you can always check the top of the iTunes chart ;)

I can't he but be inspired by the man. If you want to know anymore feel free to ask. We all love him around here!

Attached: 1542051491815.jpg (637x472, 132K)

>This is /heem/ now

This is the only place I still go on Yea Forums but I think it's about time I leave this website for good

Attached: 1553195485385.jpg (900x600, 64K)

Good thing no one will miss you nigger zilch favorite female fighter???

Attached: 1499815957258.png (791x716, 1017K)

I've ben hanging out on /o/ and /trv/ a lot more lately.

good riddance

Attached: the goat jabs a can.jpg (2048x1280, 665K)

At this current moment (keeping in mind the UFC fu landscape or lack there off) i'm gonna have to say Kanna.

Attached: Kannafu.jpg (600x400, 79K)

Me in the middle

good luck with getting laid and making it.

>dude, she's so hot

The other dudes from another the uk what are you talking about you mongoloid

Attached: ribs.webm (960x540, 2.93M)

>I'm smelling so bad that i feel like i'm an onion.

Attached: mqdefault.jpg (320x180, 6K)

that should have been Colby oppressing Tyron

Never trained mma, why doesn't he do anything to stop the punches

It's a glitch in the AI

When are they gonna finally update the negro pathfinding

>Never trained mma, why doesn't he do anything to stop the punches
liver's on the other side, he's just punching bone armor and unimportant muscles there. hurts, but doesn't matter. ,

Reminder Rory is a fightlet now

cringe

They are bussy right now with updating redeemed Jim Miller.

Attached: 012.jpg (600x373, 30K)

who finna gon win?

Attached: D5QGbNbU0AAoHV7.jpg (862x479, 105K)

Did you lose money betting on the overhyped bum Ortega or something?

Fitch. He has already won the story.

Rory bouta be the Reluctant King

What went wrong?

Attached: 112_Tyron_Woodley_x_Kamaru_Usman.0.jpg (1200x800, 144K)

lesbians are not even real

Too much time on TMZ, unironically

Tyquil threw the fight, homeboy doesn’t finna need to know how to throw a proper guillotine not a powerlifter guillotine

I don't know, he was never my boy (like Max) but I didn't expect him to """fight""" like that, he looked defeated from the start, went for a jumping guillotine TWICE and was way too hesitant.

Attached: Woodley_JUST.png (663x609, 576K)

This pastas is one of the few things I’ve done that other people have acknowledged. Fr*ggen based not heeming myself today

someone fought him in an uncomfortable way for the first time, and he can’t dig as deep as Usman

pretty much all the stuff Usman said was going to happen kek

that is so gay lmao

they need to abolish illegal moves altogether
I want eye gouges and groin shots to be the new meta, not lay and pray

Nice guy Rory is a shit tier fighter

>the new meta
literally cringed

Let’s check the record bud, and this is NOT revisionist history and I’m going off memory so it might be off. First he beats Kevin in like 2007. Kevin missed by over 10lbs, so Tyron was practically fighting a MW but Kallen was sick with the flu so idk it was also a split decision so it’s a toss up if you want to consider this a good win or not. Next he is supposed to fight our boy Johny, who beat him in college, but Big Rigg 8 2many steaks and Tyron weighed in anyway and got a title shot via affirmative action. He then got to fight Lawler who was coming off 3 brutal five round fights and heemd him early. Fair enough. Next he is up against Wonderboy. First fight is an obvious draw, Wonderboy wins the rematch. Even Tyron acknowledges this, watch his body language from the end of the fight up until the read he decision. Literally in shambles. Don’t @ me. Next he fights old man Maia and toilet till (I invented that btw). He never improved since Rory.

Judging needs to be changed, how did Rory win the fight vs Fitch?

The judges score it 47-47, 47-47 and 48-47 for Fitch

Therefore Fitch won the fight as he is the only fighter who won a judges score card. What a fucking retarded scoring system

Attached: yes yes well done.jpg (768x576, 60K)

So in many ways Fitch is the UFC welterweight Champion.

I would banana split you, kid. You have no business sharing your “opinions” unless you wrestled in high school or college, which you didn’t twerp.

Based Fitch

Hardy vs big pretty should be next

I wrestled bears when i was kid, dude, i also jobbed to Christopher Daniels in tna

Wat the f**k have YOU done?

Smolyakov earned a rematch

youtube.com/watch?v=NOA1phCIsDc

Can someone explain to me why Greg Hardy is so popular? I understand he had a good season in the NFL and then got released? If you were to compare him to a football player (actual football) who would his fame be similar to?

Brendan Schaub

For sure Greg Hardy is a munster house hold name my guy

He’s a drawl, b

Reminder that all American fighters except Jon Jones, Woodley, Masvidal, Diaz 1, Diaz 2, Colby and Blades are all faggots

>Blades
Its Blaydes you turbo caz

Greg Hardy is not a fighter

He’s a warrior

The Prince of War

Bisping is the king
And Schaub is the god

The kang of niggers

Uh that’s racist!?

agree with everything except i was the one who invented the toilet till. You were probably just the dude who invented the "I invented toilet till" meme

>Masvidal

Attached: 1545536647834.png (448x448, 182K)

Jacarrhea was poosadad looked frail as fuck

Www I'm edgy atheist

Attached: Screenshot_20190428-213707_Facebook.jpg (1080x874, 391K)

he isn’t a household name, he had a minute of fame on ESPN because of domestic violence

he's a black dude that beat up a white woman and everyone knows it so jews want to publicly shower him in money and fame.

When you need someone to beat a peach I’m your guy

To be fair white women deserve to get beaten up so Im a hardy missile now

>mfw atheists in 2019 still don't understand what the abrahamic god is supposed to be
You'd think that it's only internet retards that are like this but if you listen to any of the big atheist """"""""thinkers"""""""" like dawkins, or harris, they all say the same mind numbingly stupid shit like "lolllll sky fairy" and "wtf why are there catastrophes and hungry children if god exists???"

NEW

literally cringed

Attached: CytESTZ.gif (263x396, 649K)

cringing

Attached: 1515445412898.png (800x600, 735K)

The Rousey Effect. Too much media and confidence.

That shit was actually pretty amusing.

You give me the distinct impression of someone who hasn't actually read anything on this subject aside from memes.

Attached: all smiles.jpg (331x473, 26K)