Be french

do not disrespect the warriors of walk

I can't even imagine how bad that rash afterwards must have been

what in the goddamn...

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t. have never tried speedwalking
worse than running

how though
and why do people speedwalk over running

Kek, that 2nd sponge slowly sliding into place. Why is that so funny?

i've never seen someone clinically die 3 times and still complete the event before

for me, it's diniz

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Pure sport kino.

Can't wait for the 50km Deathwalk next Year in Tokyo

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t. girl that had to give this champ the first place medal at the finish line

>see person literally drop down dead ne t to you
>keep walking and think nothing of it
True professionals.

It's not exactly natural moving, screws you up from the inside (thus a lot of shitting)
>and why do people speedwalk over running
For our entertainment

best part of the olympics

Speedwalking is unironically the most physically taxing sporting event there is, shitting yourself is perfectly acceptable when you're pushing your body to the absolute limit.

The fact that other athletes DON'T shit themselves is a sign of laziness.

based diniz

Is Deniz still compeeting?

Is this the sport that awards you gold medals for shitting in the streets?

Speedwalking is for faggots

That's the marathon. Deathmarch rewards you for shitting in your pants.

Take your Christmas tree down already, it's April!

based deathmarch

do you guys think they run when no ones looking

Is there anything in the rules of speedwalking that state you can't pull your shorts down and shit at the side of the road?

waste of time lad

What if another speedwalker slips on your poo in the middle of the road? Is he disqualified or are you disqualified for tactical shitting?

it was a great moment and one of the most sincere kek i had on Yea Forums, if you weren't there for both 2012 and 2016 deathmarches you failed in life.

no. it's basically mario kart for joggers. free for all

i think hes covered in poo and youre also covered in poo but now youre ahead of him by a larger margin in the race

No I mean, if he slips and falls over (both feet off the ground at the same time). Would the officials excuse him since his fall was the result of outside interference?

i feel like slipping in poo is within the rules
long as he doesnt just trip and start running to catch hinself
does someone watch each guy the whole race?

I dont get it. I always take a dump before running. Even if it's just a small

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uh oh... STINKY!!!!

>take laxatives before the race
>surge to the front
>blast the track behind you with liquid shit
>everyone behind you slips in shit and is DQ'd
>have a nice relaxing stroll to the finish line with pooey legs and collect your gold medal

maybe the poo would lube up the track and they could slide on it since both feet would still be down

Impossible. Someone's always looking and they will fucking rek your day.

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What the fuck was he doing there?

Good thing the women's death march is nowhere near as challenging, it would be nasty if they ever did something like that.

2012 spuh /deathmarch/ > 2016 spee /deathmarch/

someone must post the collage

the fuck did he throw away there? im not familiar with poopsports

check previous webm, he got a sponge in his short because he shat so much

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>He has the gall to insult the last heroic Frenchman in the world.

protect that smile

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how fast are you allowed to go before its considered jogging and youre dq'd

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based diniz

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as fast as you want, just as long as one foot is on the ground at all times

krokodil: not even once

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>not staying up with fashion trends
m.youtube.com/watch?v=m3mCTyZK59Y

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criminal

based and mongolpilled

i still believe he was a random jogger that wanna join the party

what did he do to him?

Absolute scum.

It's especially odd when this happens in a competition where you take the time to prepare yourself properly.

Reminder that with Tokyo 2020 there is a 150% chance that there will be a speedwalking anime made, as well as fetish manga if someone shits themselves again.

always aussie cunts cheating

DESIGNATED

full of tallents

Is this is what all those American Wallmart customers have been training for?

But the thing is that if you watch in slowmo, EVERYONE runs. Deathmarch is an absolute travesty of a sport, where you get eliminated on a whim by a judge even though you and everyone else knows you're running like everyone else.

they're probably drinking/eating someting very dense in energy and that has to go somewhere. and some user in the deathmarch threads said that their bodies will simply push it out at some point.

200% sure it will be warmer with 90+% humidity, it's gonna be an hecatomb

kek I remember the aussie madman that should have been DQ'd every 5 seconds.

Deathmarch through Siberia in winter when

>speedwalking
Fucking why? Just admit you're not good enough to compete in actual running events instead of this meme charade.

>Fucking why?
our entertainment. they're paying the shitting tax to stay at the olympics.

What the fuck did you just fucking say about speedwalking, you little jogger? I'll have you know I finished first in my event at the world championships, and I've been involved in numerous secret races against Australians, and I have witnessed 300 confirmed deaths. I am trained in keeping one foot on the ground at all times and I'm the top shitter in my shorts. You are nothing to me but just another target to overtake. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before when throwing a damp sponge, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, jogger. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of speedwalkers across the world and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, jogger. I can be anywhere, anytime, just so long as I keep one foot on the ground and I can overtake you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just without shit dripping down my legs. Not only am I extensively trained in walking quickly, but I have access to the entire sponge supply of the Olympic committee and I will use it to its full extent to wipe my miserable ass, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn jogger. I will shit fury all over you and my own legs, you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, jogger.

gentle chuckle

>British boomer humor

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2017_World_Championships_in_Athletics_–_Women's_50_kilometres_walk#Results

kek, nice """"""""""sport"""""""""""

This is quite the interesting thread.

Do girls poop?

Non they don't, they have no need for it

Imagine a nice, relaxing day watching the skellies kill themselves for your entertainment. You think nothing too eventful will happen but here comes Diniz. He's rounding the corner, reaching down into his shorts. Oh, no. It can't be. It's a blood and shit covered sponge, right in his hand. And he's winding up as he comes near you. You know what he's about to do, but you can't move. You can only watch as he tosses that crap covered thing in right beside you, as shit is flung off in every direction. Next thing you know, there's something wet on your arm, on your cheek, a little on your clothes. You look down and it's shit. His shit. You look at the doodoo splatter on your person in horror, as he marches on toward his goal without so much as an acknowledgment.

based & redpilled

A talented RUNNER

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Death march was THE god tier shitposting event during the olympics not a minute of boredom

It was amazing, great threads too. Next Olympic deathmarch can't come soon enough.

The quintessential speedwalking book

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Why don't they just wear nappies like old people do?

It would slow them down.

The feces adds aerodynamicity

If the shit flies out of their ass fast enough, they get a slight increase in velocity

This is the closest I could find. It was during a marathon so it doesn't really count.

I never knew I needed to see a woman with diarrhea sprayed down her legs during a deathmarch.

Self discovery is a wonderful yet agonising process...

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loved the 2012 edition. Diniz was disqualified after 3/4 of the deathmarch but the officials didn't even tell him lmao

>At the 2012 Summer Olympics in London, Diniz was disqualified from the 50 km walk immediately after his arrival at the finish line in eighth position for taking a bottle of water at the 38th kilometer mark outside a zone provided for water replenishments.

OH NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

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>Not only am I extensively trained in walking quickly, but I have access to the entire sponge supply of the Olympic committee and I will use it to its full extent to wipe my miserable ass, you little shit.

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the added weight would totally destroy their movements and thus their pace

gotta get rid of the weight la

lmfao

Most of them aren't even walking correctly. All of them cheat by walking a bit too fast or not bending their knees enough etc.

Here's a woman puking after a 20k deathmarch.

I hope to god there's a women's 50k deathmarch introduced at the olympics as that will vastly increase the chances of delivering a poopfu.

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Nappies wear barely anything as it is. It wouldn't slow them down at all.

Except they can just unstrap it when they've done their business and a cleaner bike can come and collect it

ah yes the poop collector

Nice thread

ok I poop bike would be ebin

wtf is wrong with boomers? Why do they love these shitty boring sports?

i dont understand where judges draw the line between jog and speedwalk

Cringe and jogpilled

The virgin jogger vs the Chad race walker?

You have to have at least one foot on the ground at all times.

its actually a bit more complicated than that, the angle of the knees is important

Haha peepee poopoo

Just watch scatporn then

do they have someone assign to watch each runner all the time individually

Girls who do scat know they're going to poop... on purpose.

Where's the fun in that?

The fun is in them eating it in HD.

Sure, but I'd assume they eat a couple of hours before the match to allow their bodies to digest the food.

No, they are referees throughout the course watching them.
It's a game of "how can I break the rules the most discreetly possible to be the fastest".
Even if, rigorously, they're often breaking the rules (but it's not visible with human eyes), I still find it entertaining for the techniques they developped to still go fast and the stamina they have.

That is the kind of sport that would greatly suffer from video referee, as people would see all the time that they're cheating.

Do they get paid or is it a voluntary position?

Race walking is a fucking meme, but it's also very challenging. I'm a good runner, but race walking fucks me up. I only did it for fun in practice once or twice, but damn.

Did you shit yourself?

nigga bought his canada flag at a flea market

indeed that because race walking requires unatural movements, the body isn't designed for it.

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No, I'm still an amateur.

Eel insertion or an enema containing fish is much funnier

Ive already passed that stage. Also, those videos are old af, not to mention SD and censored.

>doing close-ups and slow-mo on somebody's sack and shit smeared ass

kek

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Anyone got that slow mo of a deathmarcher-grabbing-a-sponge reflection in sunglasses?

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Perfect, thanks lad.

Why the yellow sponges?

>everyone staring in utter disgust
>you can see the embarrassment on the guy but he just wants to pass them before stopping

Is this the most exhausting sport without any decent reward?

Obviously they push their system beyond the limits so that they cannot control their sphincter anymore, and all their internal organs are screaming and bleeding.

These people must be masochists. Little to no recognition, no money, only highlights are the gross parts in which someone shits himself.

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>kino
nigger

The unusual motion of speedwalking takes its effect on the athlete's bowels. That constant hip/waist rotation is like churning butter. Speedwalkers need to control their shit, either by taking precautions in the run-up to the event, or having an anus of steel.

Why not hook up a rig that’s essentially a catheter that you put up your butt? It’ll drain the poop into a bag that you could potentially use later

>that you could potentially use later

Frightening mental images

you mean why no brown sponges or why sponges at all?

Beautiful.

and most normies mock them for looking ridiculous

What are the sponges actually for?

Shitting yourself is integral to the sport.

Imagine the smell.
Poopy sweat and sweaty poop.

vaj ju hef tu bi med?

can't wait for next olympic deathmarch threads

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officially for cooling I think
but in reality it's for soaking up blood and poo

was there even a black racewalker? I don't remember seeing one

They're probably all at the real running events.

People take laxatives before runs to lose weight and sometimes they're not completely empty.

i'm not here to laugh

You know, liquid shit isn't that sexy. I'd much rather see them dump a solid mass of former constipation into the seat of their panties.

Sweat doesn't smell. It's only after it's grown bacteria that it smells.

it's mostly asians, aussies and europeans for some weird reason

literally why would you torture yourself to obtain skelly mode for a chance to win a gold medal in that shit sport
why not do endurance running instead?

Right. But it does smell really bad when you exercise and sweat for hours. Then it's not just the bacteria but things like ammonia too.

Imagine being so autistic you'd rather finish the race covered in your own shit with everyone staring at you in disbelief rather than drop out.

Imagine being so autistic you didn't care that people behind you would be running through your faeces.

That's what that guy did

because they are motivated!

does anyone have the edit of the austalian race walker on hals tv instead of his rival from the racewalking episode?

This really is the most ridiculous sport. I simply cannot understand it.

Deathmarch 2016 seemed pretty underwhelming compared to 2012

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yellow card, probably for not having one foot at ground at all times

Nobody here has mentioned the chafing either. You aren't just shitting down your legs; you're shitting directly onto bloody injuries that sting like hell from the sweat. That's what happens to your legs.

By the way, that Diniz guy actually works as a postman in his day job. He practises racewalking by walking from house to house really quickly to deliver letters. If you live in France, you might even have received a water bill with his shit on it.

Imagine having a runner trailing behind him, it could be a good distraction and forced to slow down when they smell that shit

>a runner
D I S Q U A L I F I E D

Is shitting on yourself a way to distract the judges and simply run ?

I wonder what percentage of current posters were even here for the 2012 march

no Tallent ass clown

Diniz probably uses the junk mail that he knows people don't want and uses them for soaking up shit.

Japan already answered this question.
youtu.be/mhueNXyURu0?t=292
Not gonna translate the whole thing, but basically they scoured the country and could only find one person who actually wanted to do deathmarch and wasn't just a failed distance runner.

>tfw I was on Yea Forums but not Yea Forums
>tfw I spent the whole 2016 Olympics being told about the ultimate meme sport
>tfw I saw the 20km one but missed the 50km race because I had a job interview
>tfw I didn't even get the job

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Fucking hell, didn't think I'd find my part of history again. Can't wait for 2020 lads.

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why do so many fall? why don't we see these fall numbers at marathons?

Because it's harder.

>mfw clicking on this thread from the popular thread on Yea Forums's front page
I was not prepared
I'm not even a Yea Forums guy this shit is wild

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why the fuck do they need sponges?

god I hate yuropoors

Tell me about it!

>be brazilian
>live in a poop country

any deathmarch pepe's anons?

>tfw missed both 2012 & 2016 deathmarch

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when is the last time you shit yourself Yea Forums ?

This Friday or Saturday, I can't really remember.

sometimes i dont shower for a few days and put on some raggedy old clothes. then i go to various walmarts and shit myself. it gives me sexual satisfaction knowing eveeyone is snapping pictures laughing and discusted, plus it makes americans look bad. europoor btw

it's more effective then emptying a bottle over your head, you take the sponge and press it over your head, instant freshness la

They race at the ones that actually matter.

tripped and basieren

>Passing out from walking

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you all need jesus

What the fuck. Is he booby trapping or something?

i was here for 2016 deathmarch
it was pretty much only about shitting and that aussie

>tfw I was here for 2012 and 2016

>2024 deathmarch in Los Angeles
>it gets up to 115°F
>people start dropping like flies on Figueroa

Me lad

Kek
No one gave a fuck

>tfw here for the 2010 Vaughncouver killing tube

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i death march till i die nigga

08 walker

I've never heard of this but it sounds amazing and I need it in my life.

you don't train for years and then throw it all away by helping some smelly french man when he can't keep up

Wtf

Apparently the guy's real job is a high school PE teacher

Nigga probably gets bullied by his students now lmao

GOAT Yea Forums Olympic thread

Reminder that Tokyo will be 35 degrees with 90% humidity during the olympics.

GOAT deathmarch incoming.

it was but it could have been because of leddit/sp/ too

based nippon

can't wait for 2020

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lay off the booze, faggot.

Fun fact: this event is based on the 50km death march that jewish concentration camp inmates had to make back in 1943

I mean, if I was close to the finish and everyone already saw I might just try and go for it. Just clean yourself up asap after crossing the finish line before interacting with anyone. Everyone already saw you shitting yourself, it's not like the shame can get any worse.

More like high school POO teacher

Topkek

his wikipedia pics also both show him running...

>if you watch in slowmo, EVERYONE runs
proofs this!

I cant

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I don't even drink alcohol.