You are now manager of Manchester United FC. How do you fix this shit?

I channel my inner >Moyes

Sign Bale, Coutinho and Isco

Demand a transfer committee. Demand that all players can be sold, especially one’s on high wages and bad effort (Pogba/DeGea/Sanchez)

Play a modern style of football. Either Pep/Klopp style and buy players accordingly giving no huge money in salaries/transfer fees unless they can prove themselves in the club.

This desu

Psychologically hound my players over social media

Just ask if someone can send a nuke to Manchester and end this shit once and for all

Buy Sancho, skriniar, tagliafico, joao felix and koke

Put the forgotten elite man in charge

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I wonder if Ed has looked into an official arms manufacturer sponsorship deal to profit off of something like this.

Sell De Gea, Pogba and Martial
Buy Bale, Mahrez, Isco, Courtois and Dybala

Sup. Table for two please.

Ask the board for those players, so I can set team like this and win treble. Easy.

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>Bale
>Dybala

Why would they want to play in the europa league?

>that awful midfield
>rashford
>current de gea
top 4 at best.

This.

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>Felix dabbed on 10 men and now everyone want him
*sigh*

>I call a team meeting and wait for the squad in full MUFC branded wear
>rub a thumb over the sacred crest on my chest as I visualise the success that is to come
>the boys turn up ashen faced, heads hung
>tell the lads not to worry, everything's going to get better from now on
>everybody's going to stop hating them and start loving them
>and best of all, they'll all have a part to play
>the boys lean in, eager to hear how we're going to turn it all around
>it all starts with team bonding, I tell the boys
>who's heard of aruba?
>the lads clap and cheer, and some dance
>I watch them in their ecstasy
>one of the lads jumps on a table and starts to perform a dance move with his arms
>their smiles are so wide
>they don't know what is to come
>the bomb on the plane
>the wreckage from which none of them will survive
>busby babes times ninety six
>I tell the boys that they're all flying out one day before the staff, so they can party without being watched
>they roar and beat their chests
>but their flesh rots now, limbs missing, my mind playing tricks, my guilt manifest
>all of them now, consumed by flame
>the shame almost overwhelms me
>but then a mangled, burning corpse millie shuffles by me and I feel fine again

autism

Midfield is good, Pogba is top 3 CM (if he play with quality players) and Matic is good defensive option, sure someone like Kante would be better, but I try to keep it realistic.

Matic can't clean up the shit on his own.

You want to bin the rest of the current squad but keep Martial and Pogba?
Jeez, it's a good job you've got me to balance the IQ round here.

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Their entire squad needs an overhaul, they are actually awful. Mou Unironically did a good job getting 2nd place with them

Well memed Wojtek, but Trippier gives the game away.

Unrealistic targets and some of this team wouldn't even be good. Trippier at right back? Pogba as part of a double pivot? Alex Sandro hasn't been class in like 3 years. No way De Ligt is going to manure

Oblak
Trippier Maguire Varane Shaw
McTominay Saul
Bale Coutinho Sancho
Martial

The end of this was quite well written, well done. I was entertained

Pogba, Sanchez, Young, Fred, Lukaku out
Ryan Fraser, Mitrovic and Rice in

Send De Gea, Pogba and money off to Real Madrid in exchange for Navas, Varane, Kroos and Casameiro. Splurge on Sancho. Replace Valencia.

>trippier
>coutinho

Sell Pogba, Lukaku, Mata, Herera, Young, Phil Jones, Rojo, and Darmian.
Send Sanchez off to China and Valencia to MLS.

If they want to play a more traditional 442, bring in Mitrovic instead of Van de beek, and use Rashford as the other striker. The squad I've put together is young and wouldn't challenge for a title right away, but over time could become an incredible team.

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how did Alena end up at United?

>Kroos

Yikes, matey - do you not remember Schweiny?

Pay the players more moneh so that they are more motivated to win the goals and make the championships

De Jong and Arthur coming in have blocked his path into the first team. Especially if Barcelona keep Coutinho. Unless Aleña can adapt to Busquet's role as he ages, i don't see how he'll become a mainstay in the starting 11. So, United come in and offer a lot, maybe with a buy back clause.

>6 new first teamers
>still 0 leaders
>first 11 has an average age of 14
them numbers dunt add up lad

>Adapt to Busqeuts role
But that's what they bought De Jong for

Rashford will grow into being a leader, no telling with the other young lads either. There is no way United will challenge for title soon. They have too much dead weight and need an overhaul. Keep some of the current players for rotation and start the rebuild. Simple as

Ok but then they still have Raki and Countinho. There's no way they aren't planning on playing De Jong a lot next year, and Busquets still looks to have several years left. Aleña is years away from being a mainstay in the starting 11

>Rashford will grow into being a leader
he needs to learn how to take freekicks first

is impossible.

Requires a billion pounds sterling.

holy fucking based