/heem/ - Future Champ Edition

Khabib Nurmagomedov plans to open a network of Khabib Time toilets worldwide

Russian fighter Khabib Nurmagomedov, who owns the UFC lightweight title, plans to open a network of pay toilets around the world, which will be called Khabib Time and gather people of all ages under its roof. The implementation of this project will begin as soon as possible, since by the end of next year, Oryol intends to launch 150-200 toilets, and after the end of a career, it will be up to the business.

"A good toilet will not hurt anyone. I just started having money, we are building toilets here (at home), we are also working on Moscow toilets. I want to have 5-6 toilets in Dagestan, in Moscow 5-6 Toilets. We are currently working on a project to open Khabib Time toilets around the world. We already have a project in London, Jeddah, Oman, Dubai, Istanbul, and Moscow. Somewhere towards the end of next year I think that in Russia and abroad I will have 150-200 toilets. This is a business that I want to open in this area. In a global sense, this would be I will be after the end of the sport, but at the moment I am a professional fighter. I don’t want extra things to distract me from the main business. I saw the toilet project in the form of a hunk. It’s certainly interesting in the future, if you have money, you can build. You will crush Habib with Habib ", - said Nurmagomedov

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Like peaches and heems B

My ancestor :)

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Apologize

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sucks Khabib - GSP didin't go because of Ali Abdel Aslezze stupid face and UFC wants Conor rematch.
could fill the SkyDome.

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2/10

Chinnaker is calling out Jones too now lmao
youtu.be/HqYpBCT8ajg

@4:10 btw

He's three times the size of him

Reem bless

can Jones even cut to 185 ot they all think about going up to 205?

this weekends card is terrible

Going up, but Jon has claimed he could make 185 before

Whittaker knocks out jone§ round 1, 2:43 left on the timer

Then don’t watch it! Nobody’s asking you to and nobody is asking for your opinion so shut it goofball

>goofball

kek

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This guy is fighting this weekend's fight card lmao

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Khabib is doing a UK tour and it's 50£ to attend the live interview or 320 if you want a photo with him afterwards.

sex tape with Ortega when?

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Why would you want to meet him? What would you do with a selfie with him? Get a few (you)s? He’s just another man. Grow up.

Why do anything, user?

my balls are hot

I didn't say I wanted to go I'm not a Muslim I was just answering your question

>visible herpes

doomed and blackpilled

>I'm not a Muslim

you don't have to be a muslim to be a fan of him, what it has to do with anything?

they make such a nice couple

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You have to be a Muslim to pay that much to hear him talk about Allah in a live interview. Who charges for an interview? Him and Conor are the same

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based

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I feel like heeming every here today so don’t try me that means you coral

I'd like to see you try

He looks like the average KSW fighter.

Reem
Lawler
Hunto
Shogun
Nogs
???
Ultimate Boomer Championship

okay but don't heem me because i have concociusnlike symptums from my bjj class

*steps forward*
*rolls ankle*
*taps*
I win the rematch.

try me, you goon ass will be submitted in the 2nd

You’ll want to get on some seebeedee homeboy cures seetjurs and conshions me and the fan have been tankin it for monts

What a shit main event desu. washed up reem vs ezekiel choke meme. One of these cans will get TKO'd in the first round uneventfully

reminder that masvidal won the fight, maia won the decision

Reem is still not past his prime.
Prime Reem heems DC
Prime Reem heems Bones
Prime Reem heems Fedor

USADA heems Prime Reem

this guy is natty by ufc standards

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cuban genetics bro

Max won the war

Kelvin won the battle

>be white belt in bjj
>train for a few months
>take my coach and upperclassmen's advice to not explode and instead try and use technique
>leap past the other mouth breathers who started even before me because of this unreliance on power resulting in a quicker development of technique
>still get heemed and put out of training for a few days at least once every few weeks by some retard mongoloid who is trying to do some WWE shit

>guy is out on his feet
>go for a takedown
what was meant by this?

Reem used to be my boy but I can't support a chinlet. Ubereem would heem those three

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Why are Europeans such frail, effeminate, stupid PUSSIES?

meet power with power, pussy

Every alpha in the old world either left for the new world or died in a world war. They are an embarrassment to us US/CAN/AUS chads.

>”Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves. Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend. Gawltdawg”
-Brendan Schaub

The spaz wh*te belt is real, you have to control them and tire them out. What exactly are they doing?

fuck muslims, fuck brazilians, fuck the chinese
blacks are ok

Dunstin checks chins

fuck mexicans too, forgot about them

lao tsu was a beast of a peach fersure

Not racist me
Judge my fellow man on his character not his skin
Only one race the human race, united against w*men

Kevin knows this is MMA and the fans don’t want a kickboxing match. We want all aspects of the game. Based Kevin always giving the fans what they want.

Favorite ref /heem/?

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Not sure who chop suey is Chin but believe or not I learned that form callen

Josh Rosenthal was great oveall. Only made one real bad mistake with Weidman/Munoz. It's too bad he decided to grow marijuana illegally and got gaoled for a few years. Though he's back to reffing these days, just not in the UFC.
Keith Peterson aka mini-Rosenthal has been good so far
Has Jason Herzog made any big blunders?

this is the one

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based and beltranpilled

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bump because we can't allow /heem/ drown in the homosexuality of soccer

Yea Forums is a proud homo board

Bruh those thighs

Just a jacked slav boy

>Yea Forums is proud
:') thanks bro

based qt posters

what the fuck is this? Names? Vid? That looks like some WWE shit

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The virgin puritans went to the Americas while the chad rapist drug dealing murderers went to Australia/NZ

it's true
t. chad rapist drug dealing murderer

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He was talking about it weeks ago
We have monsters here mate. Slav genetics
I like swaggy G. The black guy with white hair who takes no shit from anyone

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Australians and NZers are huge pussies.

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fuck off anklet mong you deserve every injury you get

Your foot looks like my grandpa's

knew that would rile you anklelet hehe

>Training will be fun they said..

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i you never return to training and you get arthritis in your ankle as you age

Someone post the cain-cringe pic

> rapist drug dealing murderers went to Australia/NZ
> parroting crown horseshit like the toothless chav cunt retard
Yeah, and the people sent to the gulags in the Soviet Union were actually drug dealing murderers, too.

Political dissidents on trumped up charges were sent away.

I thought it was you with a broken ankle?

no i hate the stupid attention seeking neek

>neek
Ah you're the migraine bong

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nah i only post her to berate the ankelet and occasionally talk about wrestling

You definitely are the cte'd white belt you can't even figure out how to reply to a post and your spelling is appalling.

Jared Brooks/Jose Torres

bjj girls are thots so probably pretty loose

fuck off nonce

Stay mad fag

Go cry about your headache again.

obsessed

You've been trying to make yourself a copypasta since you posted it

Tony's a fucking sociopath

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Obsessed

andrade loses to good fighters and beats ok/bad fighters

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come on lads can we all together agree that ankle poster is the worst brit poster on heem

ankle poster is luke?

This is Luke

obsessed

I assume Luke is the guy upset about it, he's sad enough of a person to be.

Why dont you go find out cutche boi

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Fuck Adesanya
Fuck Masvidal
Fuck Usman

That is all

Kind of gay you want to fuck a bunch of dudes

Obsessed as fuck. Fucking weirdo bongs and your obsession with the discord.

t. luke

favorite bentleby biggums moment?

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God I wish that was me. I want to roll with Gabbi so bad.

Discord trannies revved

>mma
>real sport

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y'bsessed

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She's only lost to Joanna at strawweight and has wings over two of the three fighters who beat Rose. All of her losses at 135 came to much larger women, and she also has a win over Pennington which is ridiculous when you consider she's only 5'2.

>3 peace and soda! xD

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I've got the next thread b

Askren hasn't even started qith the trash talk and already lives in his head

can Askren manhandle him?

>Special ed class

His lips didn't connect for more than 10 seconds for years. The guy is a walking radio host

Would be hillarious if Askren just wrestles him for the entire fight after all the shit Masvidal talked

>I'm not big on social media you know
>check his twitter
>3 tweets per day

UFC champions by the in-cage speciality 2019
[b]Striking Specialists[/b]
Jon Jones
Israel Adesanya
Dustin Poirier
Max Holloway
Henry Cejudo

[b]Wrestling Specialists[/b]
Daniel Cormier
Kamaru Usman
Khabib Nurmagomedov

[b]Brazillian Jiu-Jitsu Specialists[/b]

It's quite clear that the pendulum has turned to strikers dominating the UFC, but will we ever seen a Braziluan Ju-Jitsi specialist raise to UFC champion level again?

Thawts on /ourguy/ Aubrey Marcus?

He said many times it's his manager who post there. His is a legit brainlet

>Jones
>Cejudo

>Striking specialists
This better be b8

>Cejudo
>Striking Specialist

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Jones relies on his striking much more than his wrestling

>will we ever seen a Braziluan Ju-Jitsi specialist raise to UFC champion level again?
Ortega made it to a title fight at least

After spicvidal said he want's to "torture" him for 14m50s and then get a finish it will be kino when he gets wrestlefucked around on the mat for that long before getting chocked out or tko'd like he's done with BJJ/kickboxing/sambo/eastern martial arts masters for years.

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Me on the left.

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Pick one and only one wingman

1) Natty Paulo
2) T-City
3) Ruke Lockhold
4) Ben Asskren
5) Nate Diaz

Is it possible Whittaker can’t make 185 anymore?

I legit hate this dude but I've never seen him fight. Is any good? Is Ashkren gonna heem him?

till's next opponent?

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discord.gg/Bf9EYp

It's gonna be very satisfying to see an upstanding member of society beat up a lowlife, uncivilzed thug like Beansvidal.

>Masvidal was retarded even before he got CTE

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>wrestling specialists
>No GOATren
>Khabob and poosman
t. Abalisleeze

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I'd argue he is a wrestling specialist who just likes to strike because he is pretty damn good at everything and has a 7' wingspan.

>1) Natty Paulo
Why not, wouldn't be my first choice though
>2) T-City
Cool dude plus I height mog him, that would be my first pick
>3) Ruke Lockhold
Douche
>4) Ben Asskren
Probably not the best with women, doesn't look sylish or youthful at all
>5) Nate Diaz
Retard thug with a speech impediment, would scare away all but the trashiest girls

Just knocked out Toilet Till but his wrestling isn't the best I think

The only guys on that list WITHOUT significant wrestling from a young age, are Israel and Max.

Everybody else wrestled as a kid, to some extent. So really, wrestling experience is completely OP. You can learn striking and jiu jitsu later. But if you want to be elite, you should be on those wrestling mats as a lad. Or just be gigantic for your weight class, like Holloway and Israel.

Has anyone got the Alistair Overeem American psycho webm?

It says champions, l2r

discord.gg/Bf9EYp

"Funky",[2] is an American professional mixed martial artist and former Olympic wrestler. Currently signed to the Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC),[3] Askren is a former ONE Welterweight Champion and former Bellator Welterweight Champion.
no u l2r

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OR it's because wrestlers are more likely to go into the UFC. Elite strikers can make more money in their own sports.

3 piece and soda was an amusing line at the time, what's reddit is obsessing with it and not moving on.

>say something funny and cool at the time
>everyone else keeps repeating it, "SAY THE LINE, BRO! SAY THE LINE!!!"

Don't do this. Not everything needs to be made into some eternal meme.

It says 'UFC champions' though

Is there money in any striking martial art besides boxing?

is 50k minus expenses worth looking like this two weeks after your bare knuckle fight bros?

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This bitch won't talk now

Same with
>muh ballz wus hawt xD
Reddit just keeps repeating it until it is not funny anymore

Exactly, I laughed at the time. It doesn't need to be a forever meme. Just move on, folks.

Yeah he will be. You bongs invented the english alphabet but you can't even read it, Boom roasted

Not really sure, but I assume the big ones (muay thai, kickboxing) aren't too bad

>Natty Paulo
>'Why not'

Because you literally have 0 chance with any thottie standing side by side with Natty Paulo, that's why not.

Ben Askren is literally the only choice, Nate Diaz will get you killed and the other three have won the genetic lottery.

Jokes on you, I'm polish

Leave Cormier to me

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>won the genetic lottery.
>mutt
>pube beard
>5'8
>skinnyfat soiboi body
>chinlet
For sure Ortega's got a peach of a DNA sequence

>not a picture of Holloway

Interim Champion = #1 contender with marketing gimmick
do fighters really not get that? How are these guys walking around with pride and talking shit about being interim champs did they actually fall for a marketing gimmick? Your number 1 contender.

For sure, he would not get wrestlefucked and choked out with ease by DC.

he's so cringe
too bad masvidal won't be able to finish him

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You're fucking wrong and dumb. Don't ever post about something you don't know shit about again you faggot asshole.

How's Cormier going to take down an NFL player? dumbass casuals baka

You make a valid point. I guess I don't really get the wingman thing. Is your wingman supposed to look better or worse than you?

>spaz white belts fucking people up

but dont you guys see how legitimate that is? If you can't stop a spazzing white belt from hurting you you got problems

>bjj guy gets into street fight
>ok now DONT SPAZ OUT
>I SAID DONT SPAZ OUT
>NOOOOOOOOO STOP IT

Damn, that hurts bro. Do you think they get paid less than UFC fighters?

*boom roasts you*

I hope you guys are happy, that had so much karma

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Low IQ post

why isn't amanda nunes fighting the people who beat her?

You're offending the Nord. His response will be funny.

Why is womens MMA such a mess? Seems like everybody can get heemed (or decisioned, realistically) at any time.

Your ideal wingman would be:

1) Fun to be around
2) Someone you have a good time with
3) Not a pussy if shit hits the fan
4) Not a pussy if you have to open a set of chicks
5) Comparably good looking as you, but slightly less (if you're a hard 7, he should be a 6.5. If you hang out with gigachads, you ain't getting butt; if you hang out with manlets and autists you'll be king of the autists, but that's not great)

Cat Zingano keeps losing so can't get a title shot, the others aren't even in the UFC

>greggtits
Is that an O&A reference?

Cat was out for ages and she's lost her last two, Davis lost her last two as well, and the other two aren't in the ufc.

>got put out of commission by white belt resisting in ways he didn't want him to

Yeah I reckon Masvidal gets wrestlefucked, size difference and shit

You can get a three piece with a soda any time you want /heem/.

Send location.

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I guess Askren qould be ideal then.

>4) Not a pussy if you have to open a set of chicks
What does that mean?

Whose is this?

That's the Monkey God he got cut even though he won his last fight

It's only you who keeps going on about it.

Nice, thanks for sharing! I'm going to order two, one for me and one for my wife's friend Jamal.

You're right. White belt is the 'survival' phase of jiu jitsu, it's the first chapter of Riberio's Jiu Jitsu University book. Spaz white belts are annoying, but you've got to learn how to deal with them. I will have a fun roll with a chill white belt, but the guys that come at me hard will get pressure cooked.

Actually, that's how I roll with everyone. You know the guys that want to play around a bit and have some fun, and you know the guys that want to go to war. It doesn't change, even black belts are still like that. They just get better at coming at you hard and aggressive.

What happened to the kino angle?

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I'm so tired. I just want to sleep. But there's still much work to be done

Angles like that were just too kino honestly. It took me out of it so fast when they'd switch to it. It was jarring.

>you know the guys that want to go to war.
No such thing in BJJ lmao. What's the worst thing that will happen to you? Having to tap? That's a brutal war you got there, Chin.

Puritans were not pussies, they were hard men and women. The Americans literally kicked the most powerful empire in history out of their country with nothing but a few rednecks, muskets, and steam-powered mobility scooters.

The colonial Americans were some tough sons of bitches.

War in a jiu jitsu context, dummy.

>What's the worst thing that will happen to you?
Well some people have gotten permanently paralyzed doing jiu jitsu. And broken bones and torn ligaments are pretty common.

>I'm talking about war in a chess context, dummy. People have twisted their ankles walking up to the chess board m8.

>getting paralysed just to be good at a meme discipline that gets completely merked by Ameriburger freestyle wrestling

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Chess is simulated war.

>The Americans literally kicked the most powerful empire in history out of their country with nothing but a few rednecks, muskets, and steam-powered mobility scooters.
Do you really believe in this shit?
Spanish and the French pratically gave the victory to them just to weaken England.

>The Americans literally kicked the most powerful empire in history out of their country with nothing but a few rednecks, muskets, and steam-powered mobility scooters.
Cringe. Firstly, the British empire wasn't the most powerful empire in history. Secondly, the only reason the revolutionaries won the war was due to the intercession of the French and Spanish.

'War' used casually just means hard and intense, the autism here is high spectrum. Any sporting match can be a war, doesn't imply literal bullets and bombs are flying unless you have autism.

Americans did the bulk of the fighting. And is Great Britain really going to complain about foreign powers bullying her navy?

>oi mate, it's just a few ships or sumfing. We're not really big sailors over 'ere.

(Laughing crying emoji x3)

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I'm in the discord trying to figure out who mocked my concussion

Honestly what are the odds?

I wonder how much fighter piss you could collect with a con like that...

wtf
Wanderlei Silva was innocent after all

That's pretty fucking awful

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Like how Ed Ruth got choked out by Neiman Gracie? Wrestlers almost never bother going to the ground with jiu jitsu specialists.

No gi jiu jitsu, or submission grappling as some call it, blows the doors off of every other grappling style for MMA and self defense. And it's only just getting started.

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So who took his blood?

Romero heems Stylebender
Ferguson heems Khabib
Ngannou heems JBJ
Askren heems Marty

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The people who planted the chip.

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what if Ige pops for PEDs now
tainted drug test?

So like, how did he find this out after they'd gone?

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Didn’t Tim Kennedy day some “USAF’s agent” watched him shower? You guys think maycee has been tested recently?

Submission grappling has been a thing for decades dumbass

>tons of champs are wrestlers
>not a single champ is a BJJ specialist

I rest my case

How's your headache?

Will be Bobert vs Israel be one sided or back and forth war? Who wins the story of the fight?

>be white belt in bjj
>train for a few months
>take my coach and upperclassmen's advice to not explode and instead try and use technique
>leap past the other mouth breathers who started even before me because of this unreliance on power resulting in a quicker development of technique
>still get heemed and put out of training for a few days at least once every few weeks by some retard mongoloid who is trying to do some WWE shit

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I don't really see how izzy can beat him. The level of opponents they encountered are too big. Moreover Bobert stylistically is very good against someone like adesanya because he doesn't stays in the reach a lot. Kelvin would be much harder to beat for him

Ah jeez my tummy hurts so bad guys

ouch sounds bad hope you're okay xx
ouch sounds bad hope you're okay xx

Shut up Luke

Holy shit lads. This is unedited.

Is this peak skinny lanklet? He is a 6'6 Welterweight. How do you beat this guy?

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Link?

It's a facebook link and Yea Forums doesn't let you post them
The link is here:
pastebin.com/J1KgGtBn

1:25:00 for this fight
Someone NEEDS to make webms. I'm watching this shit now and I don't know what I'm even watching

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>Wake up, Kamarudeen

Thanks

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I just finished watching
The manlet wins kek

Prime lanklet heems Ngannou once he learns how to strike

>pastebin.com/J1KgGtBn
Nice audio

No it hasn't. Not widespread like it's becoming. It's at a point where kids are growing up doing it, it was never like that in the past. Not in large numbers.

>50k
Source?

>Dat turbo lanklet getting his legs chopped right off the bat

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>mmanews.com/jason-knight-getting-paid-more-in-bkfc-than-ufc/
>Jason Knight was also forthcoming about how much his opponent, Artem Lobov, is being compensated for their bout tonight: “I heard that he’s making $50,000 to fight me. He put out there that he is making six figures in three fights.”

Yes it has. It has been widespread for ages. You’re just a fucking pseud retard

50k is for sure a munster purse my guy

It is especially for 15 minutes of fighting and significantly less force amplification to concuss (as confirmed by Artem)

front row tickets are 80 bucks i'm fucking going

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prime artem heems paulie

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>He is a 6'6 Welterweight
It's not even welterweight, it's fucking featherweight lmao

>Jon is a cheater! Jon is a ch-

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Literally one of the most boring fights I have ever seen, barely any punches landed for either side. Still funny though.

what the fuck is this

twitter.com/BrendanSchaub/status/1118628545540943872

Daniel is a clean fighter! Daniel is a cl-

youtube.com/watch?v=CAmNMx2ylHk

it's from the little rascals movie

>Cormier used the towel like a hammock
>GSP's coaches brought a tub of vaseline into the octagon
>Aldo grabbed the fence like Tom Cruise hanging out an airplane
>Pulsing
If you ain't cheating you ain't about that GOAT status

My fanboy is back

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Need you to join this mate
discord.gg/W9khWS

based bill

no way
yeah it's not great but I'd still say worth watching for how bizarre it is
Lanklet really didn't open up his striking at all

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It's 66kg, that's 145lbs lmao

watch him bitch out and not join, i'm going to ruin this guys life

Everybody is on steroids

Why shouldn't all fighters roid so they can reach peak physical form? It's good for the fans, it's good for the promoters, it's good for everyone.

fucking retard doesn't know what a war is

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Sorry I'd love to but unfortunately I don't fit the membership criteria as I intend to keep my penis intact and not cut it off

Chess is simulated war

Max beats Dustin in chess

Looks more like his mom lol. Busted old bitch.

People are afraid that the fighters start to destroy each others body parts like Vitor did

fer sure

Attached: max cte holloway.jpg (676x568, 89K)

He already did. Unfortunately judges score based on which fighter is bigger, not actually better.

because although /heem/ won the story, Reddit won the war and roiding isn't based anymore in the eyes of joe rogan despite joe rogan roiding

Yeah I'm thinking Uberreem is back
instagram.com/p/BwZpcUqAJlz/?utm_source=ig_share_sheet&igshid=1fis98faph2p9

imagine being assaulted in your house by vampires
in daylight, too!

Attached: lmao.jpg (601x346, 38K)

discord.gg/ZffDfff

Fag

Show me a pic of a kids' competition with over 100 participants outside Brazil from before the year 2000. Doesn't exist, maybe in Dagestan.

You're full of shit and a poser that spent 0 minutes on the mat.

Based GSP leaf btfoing fat Daniel Cormier burger

Have you ever simulated someone's death?

youtube.com/watch?v=k6CaOErNyKI

Fresh Schmo interview

Yeah, mine, after I fell from the roof when changing tiles.

he is unheemable

nardwuar + chip = unfunny faggot

are you ok now

Fuck Whittaker is actually a bigger anime fan than Israel I didnt expect this.

sauce

>show me this completely fucking arbitrary bullshit
Youre a fat fuck low income bitch. Go clean the mats again, Adan

Yes. When I fell I was left out of air and coughing, crying, thinking I'll die, etc. Several hours later I was fine, just pretty blue and purple on one side.

Robert said he loves Baki, Israel hadn't heard of Akira until last weekend when some interviewer asked him. Israel has actually only watched scenes of anime.

based, good to hear.

What’s Baki?

this will be the ultimate battle
The 28 year old boomer patrician Whittaker vs the 29 year old zoomer naruto plebeian

cazzie

What’s a cazzie?

Do any doomer UFC fighters exist?

pic related boberts favourite anime as per his twitch stream

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*delivers highlight reel heem*
I've lived a mediocre life at best and I'm ready to fucking die in this cage

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in many ways.........

"So you're throwing your hat in there against Jon Jones potentially?"

"Yeah, why not"
...
"Yeah I think it'd be fun!"

T H i C C

Attached: ladd2.jpg (633x546, 95K)

Gonna be really interesting seeing a legitimately good boxer do Bareknuckle Boxing.
Will he be able to just jab Artem's face off and avoid everything Artem fires back?
Or will Artem be able to bully him around using the more permissive clinch rules?
Personally as a lifelong fan of BKFC since Strikeforce, Lobov vs Malignaggi will be the high point of the sport.

The Chris for sure
Rockhold flushed him 4 fucking years ago and my boy is still getting heemed to this day
He is devoid of all hope

Bill come back to heemcord

was hoping paulie would lay this faggot out

Invite me

what the fuck is this gay shit

Jon trying to make 185 would probably be like tj trying to make 125 except Jones will only pulse for epo.

>heemcord
maricon

>what the fuck is this gay shit
actual quote from Art Jimmerson during his fight at UFC 1

Fuck Jon Jones.

edit: thanks for the gold kind stranger !

Grotesque

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Crazy to imagine what MMA/UFC will be like in 2025

Why is nobody talking about this

Attached: 2xt8yy1.jpg (500x644, 97K)

twitter.com/PlatinumPerry/status/1118936680143175681

see

/heemcord/ invite?

bobert whittaker's favourite anime

that's one strike, another two and he loses boy status

We're such fairweather fans lol

Max won the war

He got embarrassed in that fight by a brawler though

/heem/inder max was never my boy

Attached: Max Jose.jpg (960x646, 64K)

>harmless disease half of all humans have

*Mutates to make everyone afflicted a r*dditor*
Listen, khabib is a b-b-beast of a peach.

He'll just wait for him to gas himself

Bobert hasn't faced anyone who is as good of a striker as Izzy or with his range. So there's definitely a path to victory for both.

Uriah hall has similar reach. His striking abilities are great but his a couner puncher so it's not that big of a deal

Prime Kelvin flushes Memesanya

like bags of sand la

Fer ser b the brawler is a better chess player than the boxer

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When did middleweight turn into the weeb division? The bisping gsp fight completely fucked that division.

Why is it invalid?

MW died when Rockhold beat the Chris

>He doesn't train Muay Thai

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Just bought fight pass. Was I memed?

Attached: Me on the right.jpg (1080x918, 306K)

REEM BLESS GET THE FUCK BACK HERE U CUNT

Attached: souf.png (1095x610, 221K)

lmao

Just want to let you guys know me and Luke have gone our separate ways, so there's a new /heemcord/ now. Similar to the old one except no rules

discord.gg/FJcYPR

Demian Maia couldn’t submit masvidal on the ground. Askren will not be able to do much to masvidal on the ground I think. I think Askren will eventually get caught by Masvidal, but he might not get heemed

What is actually wrong with you?

Literally fucking kill yourself

Attached: Capture.jpg (153x171, 5K)

Why you so angry all the time Bill?

Shmo is great
people like him and he is different also black people appreciate his shinny clothes

Could ten Derns beat one Robbie Lawler?

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One FC style muaythai is the future of combat sports. They just need Sage to be the champ

Just posted on r/mma instead of Heem by accident and now I have been cured of aids

You are actually all mentally ill. kill yourselves

based 2bh

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was honestly hype as hell seeing him in a muay thai stance btfoing that guy's inside leg

I know it's bait but
>Allen Crowder(no wikipedia page literal can for Greg to beat up) took him down pretty easy

Attached: DCslam.gif (500x265, 1021K)

Askren doesn't need to sub Masvidal to win. Wrestlefuck + GnP m8.

Valbong is so popular and famous on heem I wish I was him really

is this the ultimate fighter?

>position over submission
Isnt wrestling better in having a superior position

>wanting to be an autistic foul mouthed bong
Shame

I did this move once in HS only it worked for me. However later I hear people talking and they all thought it flipped me. I pissed me off so much I went a beat the shit out of him and got expelled. Later I learn Ugly Musky became a billionaire, or whatever.

>tfw didnt wrestle in school
How will I ever become the ultimate fighter?

That was his dinner that day lad

Lying on your back is the best position in a fight.

Move to dagestan and go into one of those open bath motels and get inside the most crowded bath, and start wrestling guys
Thats how they do it there
youll be a sambo master in no time

Sup dana

Did they ever talk about me
Asking for a friend
Explain why do you think wrong

Dude give us a link

Lmao how is white belt spaz real man like just get them on side control hahaha just like bar their arms

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Flukest shit ever

What have we done to you lad?

Kek
Shalom my brother
Take ur meds youre revving urself up for nothing

>pride blocks you are path

Is the spammer too much a puss to plug in a mic?

That's not fair, no men should be that lucky, I bet his hard on lasted weeks

Yes i called him out once and he bitched out

Let me seduce you

Attached: Безымянный.png (1920x1080, 2.64M)

Robbie finally following his mentor Matt Hughes and beating the shit out of women

Cansvidal has Max Holloway syndrome where he feels compelled to act like a tough guy any time a shot lands on him
He is so getting flushed

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>death by snu snu

>isso aqui é favela

Tfw want Tony to fight Khabib but still want Dustin to get his well-earned shot

Attached: fffffffffffuuuuu_4989e506f3f2b_large.jpg (276x217, 19K)

>implying Latinos can get heemed
lmao
How so? Masvidal was slipping his shots more and more by the end of the first and countering him.

Attached: robotichands.gif (280x158, 833K)

Must have dug deep into ur memes folder to find that gem

why does till always have fat, jiggly cottage cheese thighs? isnt he supposed to be an athlete

>Implying
youtube.com/watch?v=Ir8xNZ_y51w

Just watched it... wh-where does he keep his organs? How does one even survive at that height/weight?

Both fights he was wining until he lost
also i remember seeing the second choke, never knew it was masvidal

What is this exercise called

Attached: aldana meme training 1.webm (480x270, 2.74M)

This girl says she's gonna heem you, what do?

Attached: 1554923053902.webm (640x800, 2M)

twitter.com/Dynamitedan808/status/1118888164213395456?s=19

What did he mean by this?

Have sex with her
>literally in the file name

main events being five rounds despite not being title fights is so fucking retarded

I wish all fights were 5 rounds except wmma

But there are so many kinds of meme training

Attached: aldana meme training 2.webm (480x480, 2.42M)

Give me 3 reasons.. no 5 why you're not in the /heem/ Whatsapp group. Are you a filthy mudslime or something

Join the /heem/ Whatsapp group

chat.whatsapp.com/D0yxaoy9FUmHfw5FBjc3Ai

Attached: 1555243218590.png (970x854, 949K)

Exactly
And this is the 2nd one

Pull guard

NEW JRE

youtube.com/watch?v=L6nMtVxLVa8

That would result in a ton of snoozefests and you would have to lower the number of fights per event or they would go on for way too long.

Ferguson in his backyard is one thing, but I bet all these crazy coaches have names for everything

>comedy..... it's not just being funny. It's a craft, an art. I sit in front of my computer all day refining and distilling bits down to their absolute purest form. It's a science, and you gotta practice it. It's like a sport.
>BRROCK SMASHHHHHH

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Id watch only fights id want to, and those i like i would get 5 rounds
which is fucking great
They might have also different names for the same exercise
but generally speaking pretty sure they all agreed to name them meme trainings

Unironically one of his funnier bits despite all the weird cuck shit.

It's for eyes-arms coordination. A lot of people do variations of this.

>Id watch only fights id want to, and those i like i would get 5 rounds
>which is fucking great
Yeah, but think about the live audience. I went to a local MMA event that was poorly planned and they had way too many fights scheduled. We left after about 8 hours, most of the audience had already left and the show was still going on. I think UFC events are perfect in length, any longer and it starts feeling like a chore to be there.

yeah a lot of people fell for the meme. those exercises have never been proven to actually improve anything. waste of time

What can i say
Im a selfish guy

I doubt there is an exercise that greatly improves precision of your strikes and was proven to work by blind-randomized testing.

I could heem Mike Perry without a sweat

you improve precision of strikes by training striking (different kinds of bagwork, padwork, drilling, sparring). you don't improve precision of strikes by tapping a piece of plastic on cue in a position and motion completely dissimilar to any strike you'd actually throw in competition.

streamable.com/8906t

This guy.

Alaska FC is holy kino. It makes Pride look like a regional clownshow

link broke
here's one that works
discord.gg/ZffDfff

Based and redpilled

Anyone got a chronological list of all major MMA events? i.e. UFC, Pride, Strikeforce, WEC, Bellator, Rizin, One, etc.

These posts are good.

Sopa de Macaco

fuck off luke

As I said it should make your eyes coordination better and make a punch the punch like movement a natural reaction to a trigger. Usually people punch these things that were put on a wall in 3x3 or 4x4 formation

>watching any of this trash
Just watch Invicta b

Wikipedia has them organized by promotion

>tfw the guy who teaches MMA at my martial arts gym has one of his regional promotion fights on Fight Pass and will probably be signed by the UFC soon
Feels good man. I bet none of you fags have people you know on Fight Pass

I know someone who just got signed to cage warriors, he'll have Conors belt soon.

lots of milk
no it isn't Chael, piss off

I knew Jake Shields for about 2 years when I trained at Cesar Gracie's. Was rarely there (this was when he was still in the UFC) and I was like 14 but he seemed like a chill guy. Never rolled with him though. Never saw Nick or Nate there.

Bobby moffet trained at my gym for several years

I know someone that did underground fights against Alistair overeem and got recruited by the UFC Dana white himself who was an attendant. He got flown to USA but before he could fight for his debut he got kicked out for Cocaine usage which was seen in his substance tests. He was an addict and had a hard life

>tfw my black belt bjj coach is a bum who got two submission wins then got heemed back in 2012 and never fought again
I'm gonna have to dillashaw these bums if I'm ever gonna make it. I'm gonna sell out and move to a Gracie gym

I used to train with Claudio Silva, acts nice in real life but gets online and is the biggest troll, constantly attacking people, filming people etc

i've met Craig White and had James Thompson show up at my gym once

I've met gooby a few times years ago when I used to live in dublin.

>tfw no natchy goat to heem janni bones chicken legs
TRTzil was fun, Nu-FC wrasslin&weightcutting championship not so much. Even Barboza, who was not some jewyjitsu lay&pray faggot got worse treatment than Snoozley. Let's hope Costa and other nugen bangers turn out not to be bustas, or get derailed by Goof's matchmaking.

Attached: natchy goatch.jpg (600x400, 36K)

Great, I'll put them in a spreadsheet and organise them by date.

Then I'll start watching every fight in chronological order.

Bros has Chael become a parody of himself? He spews the most inane retarded babble for the sake of being contrarian, interesting, or having a hot take when its obvious he doesn't believe his own words.
>Max will win because he throws more punches; in basketball, wouldn't you bet on the tea who takes the most shots?
This was an actual analogy of his.
>You don't start a fistfight with kicks! That was Cain's problem against Francis!
Fucking retard.

He's flanderized himself.

>The Prince of War
Hope this LARPing faggot gets his taint ripped from the bone

Been busy lately so haven't been able to shill the latest news, but I'm still fucking ready boys

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How was he?

He's always done this honestly
I think it's just a bit more apparent now because people understand MMA a bit better themselves, or he literally gets proven wrong because he makes a pick. Chael talks well but you don't really listen to him for his analysis
He's a showman, he just seems to see things differently. Once he talked about a video he watched and the narrative he paints is pretty different to the video itself which you can go and watch. He's just like that, don't let the truth get in the way of a good story/video I guess

>purchased
On your Sony flatscreen? While posting from your Samsung phone? And driving your 1996 Toyota Camry? Fucking cuck you disgust me.

What's Aspen Ladd been up to lately, is she actually fighting or just hiking with her dogs?

He seemed like a nice lad, kinda quiet. This was around 2009 - 2010 at SBG

I get that, but he was at least entertaining before. "Wanderlei never won a fight in Japan" or "Sambo sucks" are all hilarious takes presented as supposed insight, Chael cutting to the chase and telling it like it is. Now all he does is ramble incoherently in the attempt to say something interesting. I never watched him for analysis, I watched him for his entertainment. Which is why his "faux analysis" angle isn't working for me.

>King Mo in his current flushed state
>paired up with a 23-3 munster with 20 heem wins
based JUST BLEED rizin. This is a rematch that Jiri will be winning, Muhammad is finished

Godspeed you madman. Upload the spreadsheet for the greater good if you're actually serious

>his "faux analysis" angle isn't working for me.
Then don't watch that stuff lad? What else do you want him to do on his Youtube channel and his MMA show he has? He's still fighting and still does press conferences where he plays his usual character.
But he makes this content on the side and people seemed to enjoy it so he started doing more of it. He might exaggerate a bit more here and there but that's kind of how Youtube works, clickbait titles, frequent uploads, each a bit more outlandish than last to keep people interested, just stuff like that.
That Max video was pretty stupid though, I'm not sure what his angle was for that

Man I feel old as shit do zoomers seriously not open up sets anymore?

It just means striking up conversation with a group of girls.

>tfw boomer

Thoughts on Dillon "GOAT" Danis?

Mo's already flushed him though

HEEM MACHINE
HEEM MACHINE
HEEM MACHINE

Yep this, any other answer (with the possible exception of Herb) is wrong.

Not him but I bet you're like early or mid 20's, don't do this "old as shit" stuff.
Also he's a Brit flag, no one says sets here, different lingo, you can understand that.

Man, you really have no idea how thots think do you?

T City is in the 99th percentile for UFC good looks according to the thots. The blue eyes with the latino complexion does them in.

And thots don't gaf about the chin.

I am serious. Yeah, sure, I'll upload it.
Started watching UFC around the Rousey era, never watched any older events or events from other promotions. So thought I might try this. It'll likely take a year or so to watch everything.

I'm including some "lower-tier" organisations as well based on whether they had notable fighters fighting for them at some point. So far I'm including:
Pride, Bellator, UFC, ONE, Rizin, WEC, Strikeforce, Dream, Cage Rage, Cage Warriors FC, Invicta, Affliction.

If there are any big promotions I've missed out, or any notable smaller ones, let me know.

Thot expert over here
You just sound like you're gay for Ortega

No I'm boomer, the zoomers i know are all finding thots on dating apps like tinder and match, but no one actually talks to chicks anymore, not as much as we did at least.

*sips

I might be a little gay for ortega not gonna lie but don't talk about it too much or you fitna get the three piece with the soda included

Here's the only survey that really matters:

>BIGGEST UFC COCK?

1) Overeem
2) Romero
3) Jones
4) Zabit
5) Aldo
6) Usman
7) Woodley
8) McGregor
9) Rockhold
10) Garbrandt

fuck reddit. the second or third thread in every comment section reads noomber one boolshit tap like chicken, and they all reply to it like it is some new and original joke

Yea Forums is not different

Jones is confirmed to have a small pecker. Yoel and Garbrandt are confirmed to have hogs on them fursure.

Alright, how old are you then

elaborate

Usman, Zabit, Aldo, Tyron and Cody are all dicklets
Ryan Hall definitely has a fuckin pool table leg on him, big fucken hog of a piece on him for sure

Cody is renowned for his sexual prowess b, just ask Stipe's wife.

spiking is illegal in the unified rules according to Big John in the Rogan podcast, so it's a good thing he fucked up that move as he would have be disqualified instead of just losing.

it's not a good thing
He loses in both scenarios so I'd rather be disqualified for pulling off one of the greatest heems of all time rather than forever being the guy who heemed himself sleepy

Attached: andnew1.webm (1280x720, 2.9M)

I feel Romero, Usman, and maybe Woodley have the piece with the soda dicks

Garbrandt and McGregor probably have pretty large hogs. Zabit too. If you're a skinny white guy your dick looks bigger than it is sometimes.

Jones has a three piece with the soda dick, that's why he needed dick pills laced with EPO cuz his dick's too big

You know, i could see Ryan Hall having the huge unassuming schlong.

Make sure you bid on this

ebay.com/itm/192893051128

It's the same user base (not always literally, dumbass) using different "original jokes" except you tolerate and enjoy them because you've been conditioned by the spergs here. Sadly, the "jokes" are actually "things I hate" which is portrayed with "ironic shitposting." You've been programmed to hate things irrationally rather than fake laugh at overused quotes. Everywhere else on the planet you'd be considered brain damaged for imitating retardation and calling it humor. Not here. Really makes you think. (

No seriously Jones actually does have a small dick. There's a picture of Yoel, him, and Holly together, both him and Yoel wearing speedos, and Yoel cock mogs the shit out of him.

have sex

I've seen that picture at the pool, that don't mean shit, maybe he's a grower not a shower, but I feel that fully erect Jones is probably GOAT in the dick department as well as the fighting

It’s ugly and lets me know the bearer doesn’t practice decent hygiene habits.

ebay.com/itm/192893022389

How do people have the money? Crazy.
Also
>no gloves

if you don't unironically like Schaub you can get the fuck out of here, he is my boy

>defending Jones's dick
lmao I'm sure he's grateful haahahahjahahd;osa

Imagine the smell

Neither Yoel nor Jones look like they're packing heat here but this is after athletic activity.

You ever take communal showers? If you're real tired from running and shit your dick looks smaller for a while then it fills up.

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poiriers kit is a drawl fer sure but where do i buy poliana botehlos sweaty shorts

I would never want some used handwraps.

Did Jones fuck Holm?

Best neet fighters of all time?

Attached: conor.jpg (1200x800, 88K)

Holly looks like fucking dogshit 100% of the time

That's cool, man. Check out Sengoku, they ended up with a lot of guys from Pride after it shut down. Hero's also had a pretty short run with some important fights

If he's got the P4P GOAT dick /heem/ needs to put some respeck on it

By US standards, she's relatively fit, we don't have hot slags like you do over there mate.

Imagine l

Does anyone still Proper 12 anymore?

You're a fucking faggot

>we don't have hot slags like you do over there mate.
youtu.be/PzP1XC51kro

US women are significantly more attractive than Brits, kemosabe.

t. went to school for a year in Croydon

Man you're fucking living the dream over there. I just love british thots they're just fucking trashy enough and the accent makes me insta-hard

London girls are the hottest and the Scottish slags are the best

Attached: basedperry.jpg (1221x1047, 81K)

No they're not, and american girls are prude as fuck, that's why America as a whole is more and more sex-deprived.

The british slag is hot, her accent makes me horny and she'll fuck you without all this #metoo bullshit aimed at sterilizing men.

You have no idea what you're talking about. Get off the internet, have sex, hit the weights, get a clue.

>TF

Good burn little nigga

Attached: apicary.jpg (295x486, 14K)

...

Send location

he has cyclops nostril

trainers sometimes have to make shit up to justify their existence

t. physio

>$500
he knows he lost, right?

How do I into Slav Mode?