/heem/ - The Weak Edition

NEWS:

Izzy won
Poirier won
Khalil won
Usman won
Aldo will win

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Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=c6INtqaCD7E
streamable.com/xr83
youtube.com/watch?v=N1AKC8AxW5Q
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slavery_in_the_Ottoman_Empire
i.4cdn.org/wsg/1555558992999.webm
youtube.com/watch?v=jWKDC00axug
instagram.com/colbycovmma/p/BeBWHh-hiFd/?utm_source=ig_share_sheet&igshid=pmv19t8wf704
m.youtube.com/watch?v=2C527nYI_OQ
youtube.com/watch?v=JCA4-8tq0mE
instagram.com/p/BwYFW6THTfL/
youtube.com/watch?v=6m1YYAMA1kM
youtube.com/watch?v=-z_F2Uivpqc
youtube.com/watch?v=ruxYSleOX6c
youtube.com/watch?v=HqYpBCT8ajg
youtube.com/watch?v=X26NyDIWVpc
youtu.be/syrMUUCrx_o
twitter.com/NSFWRedditImage

The Schmo wins the war

>GB
they have to protect the red shield at any cost m8.

Khabib vs dustin
Conor vs Tony
abu dhabi
Bonus Askren offending the religion of Islam

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>Daniel Cormier's net worth is £4 million
yikes

>Daniel Cormier's net caloric intake is 4 million
yikes

Imagine the GOAT of your sport not evem being able to afford a Manhattan apartment. Shame on Daner. Pay these folks what they are worth. This is the guy that threw a 1,000,000 dollar birthday party for his spoiled ass kid. #YangGang, we ouchea.

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I'm pretty sure Jon Jones can afford an apartment anywhere dude

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>scrolling YouTube on the shitter
>see this
Please tell me this wasn’t an actual discussion !

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>Rogan was rambling thus masvidal is bad
Joe was in that shitty overjoyed zone where he just want to talk about himself

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Thats not even accurate. He easily made more than half of that just last year

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amazing humour

we are in a golden age of comedy

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>you now remember that cuck who spammed cirkunov as le WHITE BVLL

When can we expect rogaine to retire

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Very soon I'd imagine, within 2-3 years

At least 2 more cans before a real opponent

Is he a douche bag in real life or does he just hate refs?

My only gripe was Masvidal mumbling so much. However Joe nuked that fucking interview when Jorge said he didn't want to talk about his next fight (Askren) then Joe keeps prodding him because his weed addled brain fucking forgot who Jorge is fighting next and was asking him for hints on what the name rhymes with. Jaime then reminds him it's Askren so Joe launches into asking all these questions about it after Jorge literally just said he didn't want to talk about him.

When he's allowed to.

>three piece with a soda

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Colby Covington will win.

union when?

UMA
M
A

NOT SO FAST

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What has he done to a ref lately?

why do people think theo von is funny? he's just talking stupid nonsense, he's almost as bad as chris d'elia

What's the lightest someone can be where they can heem 99% of the populace, even big guys? Is it 170 like Royce Gracie in early UFC? I'm guessing BJJ is the only way you could do this

Who do you think is funny?

This wtf. He just strings together random words and barely even has a punchline

You think Artem can't afford an apartment? You disrespectful little cunt.

>watches anime
>watches cartoons
>has le dedpool tattooed on his body
>performs meme zoomer dances
>bisexual if not outright gay
>says he'll beat up Jones, calls Jon a "jock" and a "bully" when he replies
>frequently refers to himself with video game terminology
>constantly signals his Nigerian heritage for diversity points despite spending the overwhelming majority of his life in developed Western nations
Is there a more reddit fighter?

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Henry Cejudo can Heem every here

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nick mullen

oh hell yeah dude

>literally pushes him down like a kid on a playground
How powerful is Henry, bros?

>roiding for this

yeah he sucks. he's literally holds-up-spork tier random humor with a southern accent

Reminder that Matt Hughes got finished by the same random bum twice and their fights lasted a total of 37 seconds altogether
streamable.com/xr83

>3 peace and soda! xD

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>heem your entire career and legacy by getting USADA'D
>you didn't even win the fucking fight and lost it in embarrassing fashion

He pays his bills playing a retarded southerner for LA crowds and retarded southerners continue to buy his tickets.

At least the roid drama seems to have overshadowed TJ being a little bitch trying to discredit Henry's win.

In many ways Max won the fight.

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I think boxing would be better than jiu jitsu for 'small guy fucks everybody up'. Welterweight Tommy Hearns would easily heem 99% of the population. He carried his power all the way to cruiserweight, too. Even a guy like Oscar De La Hoya would fuck up almost anybody. He would hit you so hard and so fast so many times before you could even react.

But doing BJJ if you weigh 160 against a 250lb guy? I don't like your chances, I don't care if you are Ryan Hall. Somebody good at BJJ will certainly fuck up almost anybody without a good deal of training, but boxing is more efficient if you get really good at it.

Bro ryan would absolutely fuck you up

Fight stats are the biggest meme ever.

If Jones/Adesanya ever happens I will unironically be hoping Jon leaves him broken.

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based Pride judges
If max had won on meme strike volume it would've been a fucking joke

Ryan Hall has been doing MMA for like 10 years now, of course he would fuck me up easily. But if he only trained jiu jitsu? I don't know, I think I might have a chance.

>boxing is more efficient if you get really good at it.
it's really not, you rely to much on the gloves but if you train without them you just end up fucking your hands up

Ben Askren is a fucking faggot, Jorge is right. Jorge = Heem

yikes

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GOATren: Yea Forums
Cansvidal: Reddit

>Le three piece! Le soda!

Smith will heem Guswifesson and be right back in contention. He got 25 minutes of data on Jones while Jones got nothing on him.
youtube.com/watch?v=N1AKC8AxW5Q

Yeah, but did you know he has a gold medal?

jorge(spic) = r*ddit
Ben(Roman) = Heem

That doesn't matter. You're not going to even feel the state of your hands until at least one opponent is heemed. A real fight involving a skilled striker is over in seconds.

Conor vs Tony gives me a hard on

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Whore Hey is a bitch. I'd give him the Heem Supreme with an ice water (soda is only for fat fucks like that chubby IHOP eating spic Masvidal)

>LOL BOOM ROASTED
>HAHA HE MAKES FUN OF PEOPLE ACTING TOUGH!
>OH MAN WHAT A GOOFY GUY HES JUST LIKE ME

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Royce Gracie was literally fucking 250lbs guys up while those same guys were heeming manlet/twink boxers

imagine having your best win be a fluke and then immediately going down hill from there

>hates Askren
>posts reddit screencap

Big yikes from me, dawg.

>defending a spic this hard for virtue points
>not supporting the All AMERICAN wrestler and pure Aryan blooded Askren

All that onions's gone to your tiny manlet brain and clouded your judgement.

My favourite fighter is based but your favourite fighter is unbased unless it's also my favourite fighter

Why do you got on r*ddit, goof?

>redditors using reddit buzzwords
Based funky!!

>a redditor
>who hates Askren
Yeah I'm thinking he's /ourguy/

>people think gooby isn't gonna chink tony in the 1st/2nd

When will WanderGay fuck Chuck?

Was Dan Severn legit? I like wrestle fucking people with him on UFC 3

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Royce didn't weigh 160lbs.

Is that Cannonier?

it really does if your hands are fucked you can't put any power behind your shots and if you train with gloves then you're going to pick up a bunch of defensive tendencys that are going to get you heemed without gloves

Wow he was so much heavier at 170. I guess 160 pounders will only get to heem 240 pounders

Actually a really interesting question

From my intuition probably 150~170 for someone really skilled in striking, since "99%" of the average population shouldn't be that much bigger than them - and even if the opponents are huge the overwhelming chances are that they're fatasses instead of linebackers

Tommy Hearns is still a big dude - welterweight and 6'2 is nowhere near small
De La Hoya's a great example of an average sized dude that could fuck up someone way bigger.

Ultimately I think any renowned UFC LW and above (along with some bigger FWs) would be the smallest you can be while fucking up pretty much everyone else in a population

>this interview
I like Anthony, but he needs to come to terms with the loss already. I was half expecting to say in many ways he actually won.

Feed him Manuwa

My fucking nigga
>opponent picks bishop or frost because they think this is going to be a heeming match
>it isn't

Boxers have unparalled head movement dummy. And you won't feel a broken hand in a 10 second fight.

>short&wide fighters

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Peek body for competition desu

Royce weighed in just over 180 at UFC 1. Big difference from 160.

I agree about the hand thing - broke my hand once and was still able to make a fist and throw punches until it swelled up to the size of a grapefruit about an hour or two after

seethe harder

Masvidal was in special ed, Askren was a chad

>all this basedboy cope
ben ASScan is a fucking faggot lol

tall with reach is proven better

>Opponent thinks I'm going to go for a shoot takedown
>Go straight for the double under clinch and hip toss them into side control
>Block transitions until they're gassed
>Let them put me into half guard
>Posture up
>heem their body and head with power elbows until KO/TKO
Yep, I'm thinking wrestle fucking is based

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If a trained boxer punches someone in the face hard enough to break their own hand the street fight is over.

and what defensive tendency are those? Keeping your hands up? Distance, foot work, literally knowing how to throw a punch are other tendency's you pick up when training any martial art as well.

Street fights are dumb anyways, no amount of training will help you when dudes buddies jump you with weapons

I would banana split you with ease, you dyel fatty.

If you haven’t wrestled then please stop sharing your “opinions” on mma.

I agree with what you're saying but in a street fight I would rather know boxing so I can three piece and glide than bjj so I can wrap my legs around a strong man

>Boxers have unparalled head movement
for sure amateurs that don't even fight have beast head movement

>And you won't feel a broken hand in a 10 second fight.
until you have arthritis in your hands and can't throw anything heavy

shutup pussy

>until you have arthritis in your hands and can't throw anything heavy
You're not really a bjj black belt until your second neck surgery

>If a trained boxer punches someone in the face hard enough to break their own hand the street fight is over.
clearly talking about how training without gloves will fuck your hands not breaking your hands mid fight

>and what defensive tendency are those?
blocking shots with the gloves, turtling up etc

Daniel is not even close to being the goat. But people love to hate on Conor's (who's also not the goat) antics, but look how well he did for himself. This is what happens when you fall for the "honorable fighter" meme like Daniel. Dana loves those guys because he knows he can make them fight whenever and not worry about them complaining because of their "honor". Meanwhile you have someone like Conor who went into the business for himself and refuses to be Dana's bitch and he's made more than any other mma fighter and it's not even close.

If you can control distance, the hope is you won’t have to turtle up against the average joe.

gotta need dustin's wife webms

Conor was Danas bitch until he made it big around 189-194

Careful... you might catch saddlesores from such intense Conor dickriding, my dude.

delete this unless you actually think you can heem me

Who is talmbout long term training with no gloves? What is that even about? We're talking about which 'single martial art' manlets would wreck shop in a fight.

That's all. A guy like Oscar De La Hoya would destroy nearly anybody. But Caio Terra will get tossed out a window if he tries to berimbolo me.

>blocking shots with the gloves, turtling up etc

Nobody good at boxing is going to be turtling up against general population shitters.

Just pointing out he's made a lot of money. I think Jon's the actual goat and he'll probably end up making more than DC too when it's all said and done. DC just isn't a drawl b.

let's look at the champs compared to the average height of their weight divisions

flw: average height champ
bw: epo snek was average height, vacant bout between stocky manlet cejudo and average height moraes
fw: lanklord champ
lw: interim and undisputed champ both near average height
ww: slightly taller than average champ
mw: slightly under average height champ, lanklord interim champ
lhw: lanklord champ
hw: stocky manlet champ

in conclusion, the average height for every weightclass seems to be optimal if the champs are to judge

how would he do in the UFC?

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Could you imagine if Rogan stopped taking all steroids?

If you've never had staph did you really ever wrestle?

Wake up Marlon

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Everybody is Dana's bitch until they can prove their worth and get some leverage. Dana is going to keep underpaying fighters as long as they let him he has no reason to pay them more.

Just use the healing properties of garlic to heal staph no antibiotics necessary *takes a bong rip*

Henry letting people know what his view is like

Cormier has grown too powerful for Dana now, it backfired. Cormier has been holding the division hostage since last november in his bid for the Bork fight.
It's funny because DC talks constantly about being the GOAT but he could easily break the record for HW title defences if he fought a couple more times. He is a bum at heart

has henry had sex within a calendar year?

If only Joe had spoken to Randleman sooner

I don't advocate shaving your chest but Henry could fix that shit in ten seconds.

Askren was out

In many ways he was

It's you who's out Gobby.
OUT OF YOUR MIND

He was an absolute monster when nobody knew what the hell they were doing and fell behind when the new breed showed up. If he came up at a modern camp nowadays I think he'd do very well

His big holdout started about 5 seconds after Joe Silva and Lorenzo Fertitta were out the door

>tfw masvidal fan for a long time and now he's apparently le reddit tier
can I still like him guys? i don't even go on faggit

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He was

>you're trash, Brock

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Non-diverticulitis Brock wins the rematch

Brock wins the rematch

whats with that 3 piece and a soda joke?

what did I miss

I'm scared of getting older, UFC events coming and going every Saturday make time seem like its flying by.

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Masvidal isn't inherently Reddit but Le 3 piece thing is

>double-time!

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it doesn't count when most of the punches did literally nothing to porier, he was hurt maybe one that fight where as holloway was hurt almost every shot

>knee explodes from one leg kick

>holloway was hurt almost every shot
Wrong

yeah you're right
He got hurt by EVERY shot

>DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I'VE SACRIFICED?!

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I would heem everyone in every weight class in the UFC in one night with my chi deathtouch techniques. But luckily for them I don't approve of killing unless your safety or honor are on the line.

What would happen if I had WHITE PRIDE tattooed across my chest?

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you would be incredibly based

Do you think Colby could get away with legitimate outspoken racism, or would he be cut?

t. “Poirier was underrated”

basically already has lol

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If he wins the belt then they can’t do shit

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You really think holly would sleep with a white man?

Masvidal is reddit whenever he wins the decision. When he loses the decision he is extremely redpilled to boy

if you wouldn't fuck Holly you are a fag

And if it doesn’t go to decision?

Like any devout Christian, Holly spends a lot of time on her knees

>white pride
symbol of oppression due to historical context
>brown/black pride
symbol of positivity and rising up to be equal due to historical context

not really that hard to figure out without drawing your dumb false equivalences. try leaving the basement and working out instead of being a fat, hateful slob.

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Yeah he gets a pass for being a bum from a lot of people since he got beat up by a juiced up Jon twice. But heavyweight is definitely the weakest division and instead of proving he's the goat he's just waiting around for Bork it's sad.

I got to see Masvidal fug up Cowboy in Denver 2017

everybody boo'd the shit out of him and he loved it and played a good heel

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But white people were poor and enslaved throughout history too.
Now if someone wrote "Slaveowner Pride" id see how its offensive

you're being intentionally obtuse for attention and extremely trivial self-amusement. get a life mate. Whittaker would be ashamed to call you his countryman if he saw what you looked like.

There has been no black or brown pride organization that haven’t been virulent racists and terrorists.

>muh histsuiclal contarcxt
No one cares, nigger. They name sports teams after historical tragedies.

If you were a good fighter who didn't care about what the internet has to say you could pull it off. No one's going to arrest you and Dana would love the heat it draws as long as you actually win and aren't a bum.

You’re a pathetic nigger trying your absolute hardest to seem enlightened when you just look like some bix nood nappy headed moolie smacking his fat nigger lips muttering jungle noises

your mom is obtuse, faggot

Based. She has a nice brapper and good genetics.

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I aint being obtuse about shit. Most white people were historically serfs, peasants and laborers. Barely making do for their wealthy Barons and Bosses.
Neither they, nor the modern generation has anything to apologize for. Go hound some old money rich folk.

But whites were the ones who enslaved the other whites

She has stroke face and she probably smells like a man from all the test
>there has never been nor will there ever be black on black slavery in Africa

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slavery_in_the_Ottoman_Empire

So? Turks are white. Even if they aren’t, it’s very few compared to the rest of Europe.
White on black slavery was the most brutal form of slavery ever, lasted for centuries, and millions and millions of black people were enslaved.

based and redpilled

hey do you guys like talking about mma and combat sports I sure do

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Wouldn't mind seeing Holly send Nunes packing desu

>White on black slavery was the most brutal form of slavery ever
citation needed (jk, you're a dumb nigger that got co-opted by marxism)
>lasted for centuries
Black on black slavery is AS OLD AND STILL HAPPENING TODAY
>and millions and millions of black people were enslaved
European leaders had millions and millions of white slaves

Get on the Gregor Gillespie bandwagon now lads, while there's still time

Wouldn’t mind seeing Whittaker burn a cross in Adesanyas front yard Adesanya desu

anyone who gets on it now rather than after the war with Jason Gonzalez is an irredeemable caz

>White on black slavery was the most brutal form of slavery ever
never heard of the arab slave trade Americlap?

UMA DELICIA

How was it worse?
Prove me wrong fsggot
Not nearly as rough
Also not nearly as rough

AFRICA IS COMING FOR THAT BANTAMWEIGHT BELT!

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Very soon all the belts will be held by Africans

Got a HOT PROSPECT

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Thanks Hillary

Roy Nelson said he was going to do this back in 2014 and he never went through with it; you should go ahead and do it since you're feeling yourself so much and think you'd be making a bold social statement

it would mess everything up
if Holly sheems Nunes then it'd just feel like nothing at 135 matters

Why was his attitude so poor after losing to Cro Cop?

>That sentence
Did you just have a stroke?

If we insensitive westerners just let them in this wouldn't happen.

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He thought that landing 1 out of 700 takedowns was enough for the win.

Based. I could see it happening too since everyone is counting out Holly. Nunes is good but it's still wmma.

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Why don't you crop that image a little lower next time, my guy.

>How was it worse?
they castrated every male slave and turned them into eunuchs, they turned women and little girls into sex slaves, it's lasted much longer than the trans atlantic slave trade and in some parts of the world still exists. i can't think of any way that american slavery was somehow worse

>but it's still wmma.
Epin...as if surprising results don't happen in mma...either way...Holly has a good chance of winning if she doesn't fight like Cyborg and Ronda did, Amanda is usually really good at baiting people into stand-bang scenarios

Probably thought he was gonna roll right over him

I second this feeling.

I was thinking this morning about the first fight beetwen Diaz and Goobert, and for a moment I could swear that this fight happened just over a year ago, but i checked it out and it's been three years since then.

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I got the big nutty in the butty if you know what I'm saying

It'll restore the balance after the post-Ronda chaos

They had to pick cotton in the brutal sweltering heat of the south
They were called nigger all the time
The guys got gay raped
The women were breeding sows for more forced labor

>but i checked it out and it's been three years since then.
Yeah it's so surreal, right? When you think about time in terms of fights, it feels like time has flown by so fast.

UFC 148 Sonnen vs Silva 2 was 7 years ago. That scares me.

The truth of slavery in the south is that blacks only got whipped when they refused to work (anyone who has worked with one can tell you they're lazy). What, you think they just beat their 15 dollar nigger to death? You can't sustain a business if you keep pissing away resources like that.

Thoughts?

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>Nunes heeming Ronda was 2 and a half years ago

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What happened to Rogan?

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Tag team jiujitsu? How does that work?

lmao what's with the lighting for Scherner
Looks so out of place

>i can't think of any way that american slavery was somehow worse
Pick up a book

Too much male spa time

What's the blueprint to beating Jones? Asking for a friend.

>Oi, bruv, have you read about this Holocoaster? Yeh la, those krauts was running the poor jews through loops on the way to the ovens, bangers and mash, init

>They had to pick cotton in the brutal sweltering heat of the south
working in the arabian heat is somehow better?
>They were called nigger all the time
lol slurs sure hurt, there's a fair share of arab ones, zanji, abeed
>The guys got gay raped
little boys were gay pedophile raped by arab slave owners
>The women were breeding sows for more forced labor
sex slavery was far more common in arabia

none of these examples are uniquely brutal or special in any way.

>American """humour""""
Explains how Amy Schumer is popular over there

give some examples instead

youre a fucking dumb nigger shut the fuck up

Wait, you DON'T know about all the fabricated holocaust survivor best sellers books? Wader you even doing here, b?

Wew, lad

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weird how you completely ignored this picture of modern african slavery Almost like you're a denial ridden smol brained nibba

yes that is horrible but brutal punishment of slaves is in no way unique to america. almost every single male slave in arabia was mutilated and castrated on top of this.

yoel heems redditbender

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black men in america were killed for even looking at a white woman meanwhile the white slave owners had their way with the female slaves and that explains why twenty percent of African-Americans have more than 25% European ancestry; puts into perspective how extensive the rape of female black slaves was.

It`s kind awkward, when you get close to 30`s, memories of distant things seem fresher, while those of recent things seem farther away.

I remember so well when Anderson koed Belfort, i can picture on my mind the exact setting of my room that night and even the clothes I was wearing on the day, but i cant remember what I was wearing yesterday morning.

Also, 2011-2013 was when MMA hitted the peak of popularity here in Brazil.

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Two natty GOATs

i still don't understand how you think slaves in for example the muslim world had it any better

>If a trained boxer punches someone in the face hard enough to break their own hand the street fight is over.

many times a person breaks their hand because they are punching the top of the other person's skull or forehead. Those punches almost never knock anybody out, But they will shatter your hand.

Plus, I utilize a master muay thai high guard. I learned how to block my opponents fists with my elbows. Dustin Poirier himself taught me.

diaz goat
youre all on steroids
gsp drugged nick

yearly reminder that steven a smif predicted this
i.4cdn.org/wsg/1555558992999.webm

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why is o-chem so fucking dreadful, bros? ;____; I should've majored in English like my heart wanted. instead this stuff is gonna heem me over the next 4 weeks as I prep for finals

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BOXING IS SUPERIOR TO BJJ IN STREET FIGHTING, THERE IS NO ARGUMENT! JUST IMAGINE DESCRIBING WHAT YOU WOULD DO WITH THE SEPARATE DISCIPLINES
BOXING
>I would try to control distance, look for an opening and strike fast and hard with intent to knock out or debilitate. If he has friends, I will keep them visible and strike at them should they approach
BJJ
>I am going to take him to the ground an-OH FUCK HIS FRIENDS ARE KICKING ME IN THE FACE

Remarkable how what rocked TJ initially was being shoved by a 5'3" dude

only delusionals think bjj is good in a streetfight

At least you're not doing comp sci and funneling yourself into a shit career like 90% of young males going to uni

How do I earn respect, and stop being soft, a pushover, and weak willed? Been training but it hasen't changed my lizard brain, the social consequences of confrontation and conflict bother me

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For me? Nothing beats a well placed pipebomb.

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programming is going to be basic knowledge soon, taught in elementary/middle school and the like. people who are learning it now are smart. the options in that field are endless, whether you want to work for a startup, be self-employed, or be a cog in the machine. it's like creating the whole world over, but virtually.

but I appreciate the kind words, user. I will conquer ochem and graduate!

Running is the best martial art in a street-fight. Imagine thinking it wise to get in a fight with Luis knowing a bunch of his homies might jump out of the bushes and ambush you or he might have a knife on him that you know nothing about and while you're throwing your petty jabs he knifes you in the eye.

Find a good woman and start a family, your desire to see the best for them will mold you into a man.

what if ive never been with a woman in my entire life, will that make it hard to find one and then stay with her forever

Alright, how do I be social and talk to women beyond just friends?

Kek, the absolute retardation of this post.
You are getting heemed regardless of what you do if it is a group, boxing will not save you
On a one on one confrontation if you are a manlet against a big guy proficient jiu jitsu will serve you better, but you are a retard if you try and engage with someone bigger in the first place because you will most likely get heemed regardless of your martial art
This is a retarded argument and you're a brainlet for even trying to put one discipline over another

Yes
Have things that interest you and you'll be interesting
youtube.com/watch?v=jWKDC00axug

this kills him more than anything, is like if GSP couldn't redeem his embarassing loss to Sera

What now?

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>Yes
What should I do

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Yo, Dan hella handsome

Kek people were shit talking him all night but he was right

I know this sucks to hear but you kind of have to figure it out yourself.

The problem is that most of the slobs and niggers who are looking for a fight are always in pack.

>tfw wasting my life doing nothing
i need to be taught how to do things and everyone says just teach yourself programming, i can't afford or get into schools anyway

If you are a manlet and you try to box a big ngannou-esque motherfucker you are getting permaflushed 100 times out of a 100
If you are a manlet and you try to do a bjj choke on a big ngannou-esque motherfucker you are getting permaflushed 95 times out of a 100

If you are a manlet and can run quick, you are getting permaflushed 5 times out of 100

How about just running away?

he pretty much has Woodley shooped as a gorilla calling him a filthy animal

fucking based

if I do figure it out and get lucky one time, what are the chances I can start a family with that gril

AFC is on

That ain't me b I live by the bushido code, ima fawlkin samurai b.

No he doesnt dumb larper

GET IN HERE

>JUST run away f.a.m.
>tangling your arms up is the best defense
>all street fights are 1 on 1
Go up to the roof and jump, dummy, there is no example of a bjj guy handling multiple aggressors with bjj

Didn't this guy lose to Jeremy Stephens a while ago?

I guarantee you I would utterly fuck you up with my bjj in a street fight homes

instagram.com/colbycovmma/p/BeBWHh-hiFd/?utm_source=ig_share_sheet&igshid=pmv19t8wf704

well not intentionally a gorrilla woodly is just black so naturally he comes off as apish

My crew will stomp your neck before your hands clasp

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You can learn to synthesize dmt from the amino acid tryptophan if you actually take the time to learn organic so it's not all bad.

>Wednesday Night /HEEM/ News Roundup
Angela Magana is still unconscious but responsive and appears to be recovering
Juju Auclair pulled out of Rizin 15 with a knee injury and will be replaced by Kanako Murata
Caposa is back on Twitter as GrabakaHitman_
Leslie Smith signed with Bellator at 145
OP is a fag
Have a good evening

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holy shit, whittaker wants to fight jbj

hes so cringy trying to be ric flair in 2019

he would get absolutely demolished and have a weidman-esque career freefall

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Do you guys think female fighters hanging around a load of buff guys makes them have a higher standard for guys and fucking them, like, if she never got into fighting she would have a lower standard of attractiveness?

Based.

>implying I don't have a crew as well
We gonna bjjsplode all over you and your Masvidal street fighting bums

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Gamebred

>none of these plebs watching alaskan fighting
oh the brits are up, no wonder its so casual in here

so do it, user. it's going to be a crucial life skill to have in a few generations. it'll be like learning the alphabet is now. it's a surefire thing to get good at and the internet is an infinite, priceless resource.

yeah I really feel like I'm missing out hoss
Take your useless hometown promotion and get the fuck out of here
Outside of the UFC only roidfest Jap promotions are good

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You're talking to his father, mate

Brits living rent-free in that dome.

Wow have never really watched it over, the stoppage is pretty fucking early to be honest.

shut up takeshi

The only contact I've had with this meme is faggot cross Reddit browsers such as yourself coming to this board to bitch about it. Fuck off.

Always wondered why people watch regional promotions; if you don't have an actual attachment to the fighters, why would you want to subject yourself to low level fighting?

Although I shouldn't be speaking cause for a time I used to watch Invicta a lot and that's how I discovered Aspen Ladd, Megan Anderson, and KGB Lee but still....for the most part those fights were incredibly low level and were only good for poking fun at.

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it's fun to attend local mma events. I wouldn't watch them at home though

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I'll give you a california roll and a sake, bitch

Head trauma causes impulse control issues.

Nothing?

ALSO

Imagine being racist in Yea Forums

AFC is super low budget and hilarious as the announcers are just guys off the street who don't know anything about broadcasting
>wmma

Talk shit one more time and I'm gonna give you the bento box and the pocari sweat young sasuke

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it's fun
don't be such a snob

who's the better cage hugger between Askren and Colby?

When it comes to regionals, the worse the better

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Is that Mark Hunt?

I’m not so sure. I mean I’m sure olivi could have found a better looking guy than Joey b. Honestly a lot of Emma fighters don’t really have traditionally attractive husbands. Montana de la Rosa comes to mind.

>Emma
Wmma

>unironic my wifes boyfriend posting
Did the memes get to Aubrey?

He's too much of a beta to break up with her

It looked like he got TKO'd during the fight but upon further review of this clip it looks like he tripped in a weird way and got smothered

If WMMA fighters had higher sexual market value they would have never pursued a career in WMMA

but he has 2 other girlfriends

there is literally nothing beta about what he does

But what if she has more boyfriends than he has girlfriends?

RIP IT INTO PIECES
m.youtube.com/watch?v=2C527nYI_OQ

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>Dennis Hallman
>54-13

he really shouldve been bigger than he was

Shitty career management

He only got them as a result of his gf of 7 years cheating on him; he's using them as a coping mechanism and to show how "woke" he is.

He won those 2 rounds

Post the full thing dweeb

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>this was 10 years ago

youtube.com/watch?v=JCA4-8tq0mE

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It's a real shame

Funny but I have the exact same feeling but about Holly/Ronda and that's been over 3 years now

>reee just bleed

Who knew Libya was so based?

low test post

A day consisting of 90 DEGREES SPA and immediately -20 DEGREES CRYOTHERAPY followed by ISOLATION SALT TANK has turned him into an overcooked turkey

>watches anime
you're on an anime board
>bisexual if not outright gay
and?
>says he'll beat up Jones, calls Jon a "jock" and a "bully" when he replies
is he wrong? that's what makes jon fun imo
>constantly signals his Nigerian heritage for diversity points despite spending the overwhelming majority of his life in developed Western nations
til he was 11? that's quite a lot of childhood.

>izzy will tko rob btw

instagram.com/p/BwYFW6THTfL/

dana

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Now thats what I call, German Engineering

youtube.com/watch?v=6m1YYAMA1kM

>btfo retards predicting Aldo beats Mcgregor

hahahahhahahahahaha fags

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theo von is literally never funny. 2005 le epic mullet humor retarded cousinfucker cajun

chris d'elia is only funny when he's not getting in his own way with his insane insecurity and drive to be contrarian, which ends up being like 10% of the time

youtube.com/watch?v=-z_F2Uivpqc

so......

did Magana died?

Its a pretty common opinion and correct, you cut too much weight you drain your brain of fluid and lose muscle

90% of fighters that have moved up have gotten better cardio/better jaw/more power

Holloway is an exception because he frankly has so much reach on the midgets in featherweight he looks like a god, Conor built his reputation off the same thing

>The Chris heemed Anderson 6 years ago
>GSP robbed Hendricks and retired 6 years ago
>Jones mogged Rampage and executed Machida 8 years ago
>Schaub debuted in the UFC a decade ago

i just feel bad for those retards. it's like beating up chris-chan

She's getting better. Doc from Puerto Rico posted something on her Insta, what a time to be alive

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AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

and BJ Penn is still not retired

Schaub has moved on and so should you

>the UFC signed with FOX 8 years ago

youtube.com/watch?v=ruxYSleOX6c

>spent the last decade shit posting on Schaub every day
so this is what success feels like

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Gonna miss the bald goof when he eventually gets fired

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You do realize its pretty easy to learn both.

Anyone who is one-dimensional in a thing will not have great odds.

If you have to learn one thing though? Wrestling or Judo. Nobody fares well if you toss them on their fucking head.

Even BJJ guys who roll a lot still get disoriented with a good slam and before they can reset and try any submissions you've already half heemed them, or back off and force them to get up.

Nothing pisses off a BJJ like getting slammed and you just back away before they can initiate any submissions. They are forced to stand and simply get slammed again.

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HOT TAKE: Joe was sober and simply can't read well.

>moose destroyed the chris 2 years ago then bounced to memeator

Lel

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*snap*

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~don't let the days goooo by~

~glycerine~

sometimes i wish i could headbutt the universe and go back in time and start over

/stillexisting/

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>I'd like to introduth

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Based

Most BJJ schools train Judo throws and wrestling. Yes, slams are neglected as they aren't legal in competition, but I think the idea that you're just going to easily be able to get a half-decent BJJ practitioner to the ground is a little speculative. They know what they're doing. I wrestled in highschool and I would routinely go for a high-crotch off a single and get sprawled on every time against these guys.

>Tony has been in the UFC for 8 years, lost a single fight in the promotion, never one title shot
>it takes Khabib 7 years to reach the title
>Jones, the youngest champion ever and prodigy takes 3 years to win the belt
>even McNuggets with his monstrous hype train takes 2 years to get it done
>Memerael Memesanya was gifted the title shot in 1 fucking year
How the fuck was this allowed. He skipped past so many people it's ridiculous. Why is the public consciousness letting itself be dictated by Joe's blacked obsession?

>gifted the title shot
>gifted
Are you demented? Go ahead and name someone else who should have fought Gastelum? This should be hilarious

Ronda was the UFC champ before she even fought in the UFC

Jacare. Beat the former champ who just beat Gastelum.

i still remember that vid of ronda slamming bas rutten with ease, say what you will, but in a streetfight with normies as soon as they get slammed the fights over

Howdy Honda Housey vs Betch Coheya was 4 years ago now

I knew the answer would be hilarious

>fights an unranked bum
>fights an unranked bum
>fights the now ranked 11th guy
>fights the now ranked 8th guy
>fights the now ranked 15th guy
>ducks Costa, Weidman, Jacare, Yoel and jumps straight to a number one contender fight
It's pretty hilarious indeed

You typed all that out and couldn’t help but bring up blacked. I get the feeling some of you are projecting these sexual feelings onto joe.

>Bro, i need to finish this on time...just send me a selfie, it's fine

Middleweight is full of flushed and over hyped fighters who only fight maybe once a year. Adensanya got the shot just by being active and winning his fights. It's really not that surprising when you realize how week middleweight is.

Activity matters
Israel has done 6 fights in 13 months

A good wrestler/judo practitioner will pull you forward once you sprawl and immediately take your back.

Theres a webm somewhere of Yoel Romero doing this flawlessly.

Khabib and Tony were both plagued with injuries for a few years

Wake up Israel. It's all over.

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Or you're too dumb to realise that MW is in a sorry state where the champ is always injured and there's no distinct top contender cause all of them have been brutally KO'd in the last 18 months. Rockhold didn't deserve it, Weidman didn't deserve it, Yoel just lost to the champ twice, Jacare lost to Gastelum AND Whittaker. Israel was the next logical choice, especially after that 1st round humiliation of Brunson.

The real reason you're crying is because you believed Israel would get exposed against someone as experienced as Gastelum and he went ahead and proved you wrong.

>Costa
Oh you're definitely a casual.

No one was arguing against learning both, the whole argument started with a brit claiming that BJJ was superior to boxing in a street fight. That is retarded and your *AKSHUALLY* post has no place in this discussion

>not carrying a gun and making yourself feel like a big man

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It's his delivery and timing, britbro. I know you don't get that since British comics focus heavily on the substance and punchlines. Plus it's the southern accent that really adds the charm.

Objectively false. Askren is the reddit pick.

Masvidal is the /heem/ pick

>implying Memerael didnt get exposed
Bobbert said it perfectly himself
>If you watch the fight you can see the holes that were there from every fight before, they just got exposed bigger. There were holes and there were a lot of things Gastelum exploited, and there were a lot of things Gastelum could’ve exploited but couldn’t because of his makeup, because of his striking style, because of his height, his reach. Gastelum was getting in. Gastelum was landing his left. I’ll get in, I’ll land my right. I’m much faster than Gastelum, I’m a better striker. Israel should be very worried. I’m a very hard fight.
Adeshitya got rocked and tagged many times by a fat manlet who just spammed the same 1-2 over and over. Knuckles is coming for his soul
Btw you are Reddit if you aren't /natty/, Costa heems your naruto running 30 year old zoomer meme man any day

jones lucked into the title fight too

HOWEVER, are you too retarded to look at the entire picture?

Rank 1 - Isreal - hasn't fought Whittaker
2 - Romero - 2 fights with him
3 - Rockhold - at 205 so why he's still ranked in mw idk
4- Kelvin - was scheduled to fight Whittaker
5 - Jacare - heemed by Whittaker 2-1 in last 3 maybe could be next but more deserving than Israel?
6- Weidman - Should retire
7- Costa - One day maybe
8 - Silva - 1-2 in last 3 and one of those 3 was ufc fucking 200

so who did he skip?

Are ref standups the worst rule from a fighting purist standpoint?
I really can't think of any way to defend it that doesn't rely on making sure casuals don't get bored.

So now you're talking about something else entirely and not about contendership....

>Muh bobby knuckles
If glass chinned bobby can keep his body from falling apart past the weigh ins Izzy is going to finish the job Yoel started and you'll be back here seething talking up Chris Weidman's chances next...

>Costa
Yeah the guy who got dropped and taken down by Uriah Hall of all people is definitely a top fighter. Lurk more casual.

kelvin has better hands than whittaker and has proportionally longer arms. adesanya will have an easier time vs whittaker than he did against kelvin. cap this post.

He's just being a knob, Israel fully deserved the title shot based on activity alone and also when he heem'd Brunson, Brunson was ranked #6

What's the best MMA autobiography?

Jon Jones vs DC 3 at heavyweight

Does this interest you?

I really wonder how Whittakers chin will hold up. I like him but I could see a stipe style flushing and think he lucked out having to fight adesanya.

jon fighting anyone not from his division interests me

dc
stipe
israel
whittaker
rockhold

They already fought at HW before

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I can't wait for CHADDaker/Israelite ImGaysanya so all you bums will be finally shut up
It's the toilet till shit all over again, and once again you will be SILENCED like you were before
GOATTaker will utterly style and dab on Fuckmyassesanya then send him down to Natty Yoel for the final flushing

kek nice post nigel

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Sometimes I think MMA fans are a big hyperbolic

Calm down

Who does Whittaker fight if he beats adasanya?

clam down, chowderhead

Winner of Jac/Jack probably
Dark horse in the division is Jared Cannonier who is fighting Anderson Silva soon, he's a big problem for anyone now that he's actually fighting in the right division for his frame
Elias the Unheemable climbing the ranks too

he won't
When Whittaker is handily beating Adesanya, Yoel will run in and heem the ref with a steel chair, allowing Israel to eyepoke and subsequently rasengan Robert without any repercussions
The ref will come to and see bobby out cold on the floor and will stop the fight. Yoel will engineer this because he knows he will have an easier time taking the belt off Israel than bobby

Luke's definitely turned into a bit of a bad boy with his move up to 205
Hope he can back up his words

Wonderboy who will move up to 185 and heem him again

Can you marry me Coral?

Shouldn't be a bad boy when you're known to have a glass chin

>Champ at a higher weight class
>On PED's
>fighting for legacy and believes he can get to GOAT status
>starched in 40s by a guy with only 1 KO victory in the UFC

What was Tj thinking here?

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As things stand now, tough to picture I'll ever be married.

Oh yeah bro BJJ guys don't know anything about defending their backs lmao

Big fan of butts here

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sounds like he wants to move up and fight jon

youtube.com/watch?v=HqYpBCT8ajg

I just checked the P4P updated rankings and it's an absolute fawlkin joke b
Setting the DC number 1 while Jon is number 2 meme aside, Dustin has gone from unranked to number 8, being ahead of people like McNuggets (who heemed him), Whittaker, Stipe, and FUCKING TONY ahaha what the fuck is this
Max is somehow considered the P4P 5th best fighter in the company also.
What an absolute meme. Why can't they get a computer to work out this shit instead of retarded journalists who decide this shit based on trends

Computers don't account for the intangibles

>>fighting for legacy
He moved down to try and end a division and got KO'd in 30 seconds. He deserved it and even worse him depleting himself exposed his PED use.

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Chael?

youtube.com/watch?v=X26NyDIWVpc

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McGregor beat Dustin 5 years ago, now one is on a losing streak and one is on a winning streak and actually fighting. Seems fair to me

You are right but the computers should still handle all stats, wins, losses, amount of heems, amount of flushes, fight dominance, significant striker, grappling control time, etc.
They can leave the spiritual side of things like the story of the fight to /heem/

With this logic Michael Johnson is better than Tony Ferguson

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bums, all of you's

Luke would have to start in full mount for me to give him a chance of beating Jones.

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Yoel is a passive counter striker that's a easier for "ImGaysanya" fight then Bobbo

no it isn't
Michael bumson isn't a two division champion and he never heemed two said champions in complete dominant fashion
You're also trying to compare a decision win to a first round under-two-minutes heem which is also quite silly

Conor was never good

i know Faber is old news, but i'm surprised no one has used his face instead

1. Jon
2. DC
3. Khabib
3. Ferguson
5. Holloway
6. Whittaker
7. Yoel
8. Usman
9. Cejudo
10. Woodley

I have one with Carraway and one with askren. I got banned for the one of her in the mirror with Schaub lips over her tits and twat

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>Fighter A beat fighter B, therefore fighter A is better than fighter B
Woah.....

P4P #1 is a cursed position

Cejudo is 125lbs at weigh-in time
Two Cejudos would be 250lbs -- this is comfortably under the HW limit
DC vs two Cejudos, who wins?

Stipe deserves to be on there more than le do nothing man

Usman should be 9 and Yoel shouldn't even be listed

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DC picks one up and heems the other with him

Michael Johnson is definitely better than Dustin Poirier and should be the champion

this isn't /pol/, faggot

>Yoel shouldn't even be listed

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Cejudo Olympic gold medals: 1
Cuckmier Olympic gold medals: 0

> he bought le "conventional socially acceptable" answer
Good goy

Lightweight division (2016-present)

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/heem/ P4P list
C) Schaub
IC) Jones
2) Tony
3) Askren
4) Goober
5) Masvidal
6) Ngannou
7) The Man In The Wall
8) Khabib
9) Colby
10) Johnny Walker

Thank you based Libyan man, only God knows how many girls you saved from being raped that day

Is it sad that the only fight to really look forward to this summer is Paulie vs. Artem?

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for sure the guy who lost 2 rounds to Brunson and had to cheat just to win is a beast

If Jesus were signed to the ufc, who would be his first fight and in what division? I can’t imagine he could make lhw or mw

khabib heems him, inshallah

Brunson wasn't shit back then. He was a composed, fairly technical fighter.
At some point he decided he was a prime blaxploder and from then on just ran at his opponents throwing wingers.
Possibly the worst regression I've seen in a UFC fighter
Any other notable fighters who regressed badly?

I agree that you shouldn't get stood up, if anything you should get a point deduction red card for inactivity if you are too shit to work from the top.

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Jon would call him out

this but unironically

McNuggets went from being a diverse striker with dynamic with body kicks and spinning head kicks and shit that kept opponents guessing to flatfootedbLe Left Hand Man
he looked like fucking dogshit against Khabib, he unironically looked better in his pre-Aldo fights than that

Subs CM Punk via crucifix

Imagine if DC popped
Would be the best day ever

Ever since Nate choked him out at 196 he had to tone down the meme kicks cause he believes they're what made him gas out, not the fact that he never does any serious cardio training.

>Any other notable fighters who regressed badly?
Condit

Misha Cirkunov going from a promising prospect with slick submission skills to a turbo-flushed can fighting with no confidence

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Imagine if it was for a cutting agent

the virgin blank stare vs the chad enthusiastic grin

Here's his song about Toe Rogan
youtu.be/syrMUUCrx_o

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Mean girls fag

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prime schaub would heem ngannou

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Legit but also did a bunch of fixed fights

What can Jon possibly do when Thiago just full out rushes at him like this? Answers: fookin nuffink. Mr. Bone sleeps soon

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THE CHAMP IS HERE

Bob is glass Chinned after beating a juiced over weight limit monkey twice?

Single leg em

He had his knee deleted the first fight, and his chin deleted the second

The Conor fights are rigged, goof

*gets sparked by a wild uppercut*

It wouldnt be as effective without the cage

Who is the true mma p4p goat by Teddy Atlas rules?

Heeminder: Mike Tyson is 0-5 on his books.

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Nah, he just loses 8 lbs by supporting himself with a towel and everyone pretends like it didnt happen

wont have any power on it by the time hes falling

Flying knee to the chin knocks that retard out if he comes in silly like that.

Jones can throw the most effective and dangerous counters. Serious injury for that huehue is coming.

>He had his knee deleted the first fight, and his chin deleted the second
How could his chin be deleted if he didnt get knocked out and fought back, winning the fight and rocking the monkey? You need help bro, he proved exactly the opposite of what you are arguing by staying conscious in that fight.

Plus hes had a million years off to recover, and his weight cut will be proper, allowing himself to be full of fluids.

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This is the face of pillowhug on Disney. Pathetic.

once you get your chin knocked its never quite the same, no one can take infinite knockdowns, it takes you down a notch everytime

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Mental how the universe has conspired to make Woodley's title reign look as shit as possible from the moment he started suggesting he was GOATer than GSP

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I think Arlovski's chin has recovered a bit, it was awful at one point 5 or so years ago
Maybe it's just USADA catching up with his opponents and reducing their punching power though.

i'm not gonna freeze up against jon like everyone else does, i'm gonna go out there and i'm gonna fight him

>Wonderboy > Masvidal
>Till > Wonderboy
>Masvidal > Till
?

Attached: Anthony Lionheart Smiff.webm (1280x720, 2.92M)

The Can Triumvirate

what is the name of that ground position Smith is using?

I'm gonna finish Jon Jones, I'm gonna put this fist on his chin and he's gonna go down. And, whether he stays down is up to him. But, if he gets back up, I'll do it again.

based af

shut up Alex, you got flushed twice

He was really fucking intimidated by the prospect of fighting Jones. He couldnt do anything normal against him, just shelled up

you don't know what flushed means sir. lurk moar

imagine how much fun jon was having

Looks like some new age controversial massage therapy

your wasting your youth and have no friends. shut up

Gus is 0-5 against American blacks

seething

Why doesn't Anik mention this during their pre-fight stats analysis?

it's kinda raycis

You have no ground game or knowledge on clinch work.

flusshhhhh

Attached: jones_ko_gus.webm (1280x720, 2.94M)

the question is, will anthony smith's african-american heritage be enough to trigger the weakness?

The seed is strong

Attached: 19624547_145006136077126_5599662413587677184_n.jpg (1080x1080, 115K)

gus is getting fucking heem'd

anthony smith is black?

Attached: 1.webm (960x540, 2.93M)

Attached: 2.webm (1280x720, 2.93M)

Who does the gorilla want next?

1/16th from his mothers side

Attached: 3.webm (1280x720, 2.94M)

how much IQ combined do we have in this clip?

Wins against usman but unironically

Attached: 4.webm (1280x720, 2.93M)

Attached: Moraes heeming Aljo.webm (1280x720, 2.91M)

novo

brehs....

Attached: brehs.jpg (227x222, 5K)