OFFICIAL /NBA/: THIRTY-ONE POINTS, 2 GIRLFRIENDS EDITION

my rapshits are going to be down 0-2 today!

frauds :)

my rockets smell blood in the water

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Look, isn’t that frank thomas?

Looks like a young Drazen Petrovic, wonder if he can grow to 6'7

>the absolute state of Memeior fans

KD is soooo passive on offense, i know he wants to give steph the mvp but he needs to stay aggressive

>Lowry
>derozan
Who was the choker?

POR Vs.OKC is just a game of who chokes the least, doesn't matter who wins since they'll get dad dicked by either Denver or San Antonio.

The fatass who insists he's a leader

both of them plus Curry. Durcant is also such a mental quadriplegic finesse pussy that he dies at the slightest hint of adversity, which PatBev brings a lot of

Thank you GSW for another historic game. Another one for the books.

2 girlfriends
2 scoops
2 genders
2 terms
can i get an amen?

Derozan didn't perform well statistically but spiritually he was excellent in the playoffs. Lowry is just trash fatty.

All my teams are elite

>harden isn't the MVP

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derozan wanted to win he just didn't know wtf he was doing and had some kinda playoffs mental block, a real organization would have sent him to a sports psychologist the second time it happened. I bet the spurs did that

refs change the dynamics yet again. this is the final year I watch this "sport"

You sure those are his gfs? They look like sisters...

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might have a cheeky wank to the highlights lads

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based underbro

>
Anthony Slater
Verified account @anthonyVslater

No KD/Draymond postgame interviews tonight. Zipped out of the locker room without talking.

>my clippys

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bev is so fucking based

>adam steinberg unironically wants this village to win a championship
need I ask why

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so did GS just stop caring long enough to let them comeback, or did everyone just go dead in the 4th quarter?

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Night losers

He'll get for sure

He's trying to make Giannis the face of the league since Curry is over 30. He'll switch it to Luka next year when he sees how uncharismatic Giannis is

>Exsparkting MVP’s to be handed out to players who’s spark-to-flame transformation likely took place in a damped and/or humid environment

Harden impresses the casual fan, but anyone with a halfway decent ratings engine can see through Hardens gimmicks. He’s showing a flash of a spark sure, he’s had quite a few 30 point runs this season, and that SEEMS like a sparky display, but S.P.A.R.K.S. rating system accurately takes ALL factors into consideration. Scoring is one thing, but looking deep within harden for his inner spark shows that his spark-to-flame transformation is being formed in dampness. We need to leave our biases out of this and trust the systems algorithms.

They gave up two consecutive 40 pt quarters after leading by 30, had every opportunity to win even in the final minute then KD fouled out like it wasn't the playoffs or even serious. Not sure what their deal is

Are Warriors the ugliest team in the league by far?
>Le narrow shoulders Stickman
>Las creaturas trash brothers
>Drayboon
>Rat face Livingston
>fucked up teeth Looney

Lou will is MVP

S.P.A.R.K. poster, we've found the anomaly, the algorithm ignored him

Lou has carried this no name team with a bunch of scrubs all the way to the 8th seed when they should be worse than the Suns, and just completed the greatest comeback in NBA playoff history

Once again, Sweet Lou is da real MVP

> i know he wants to give steph the mvp
Does he know this is the 1st round and not the Finals?

threadly reminder to report sparkfag for spam any time he posts his lists

I mean most teams have mulattos, dark skin black people, bad dentistry and people with otherwise unconventional facial features often due in part to their tremendous height.

I see you are a man of fine taste, fellow sparky:) I bid you a good night sir and we shall continue to discuss our superior ratings system at a more appropriate time.

Nah that's a crack head

I'm a casual fan. Can you please post the spark ratings?

Damp as fuck post

Also announcing reports is ban worthy

Let me know which one of the Memeiors can carry the Cockshits the way Harden does. I'll wait

OHNONONO THE ABSOLUTE STATE OF DUB NATION

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Didn’t a solo Curry SHIT on Harden in the 2015 and 2016 playoffs?

KD is soft as shit

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ummm he's a businessman and ceo he has other stuff on his mind ok basketball is a business

I guess they just temporarily lost their spark.. The bad news for the Dubs is that they’re gonna take a hit to their overall sp. score, no way around that.

The good news is that the Warriors will likely transform this loss into kindling which will be sparked, once again beginning the process of reigniting their flame. The most recent system data logs from the Candybread Elite7 ratings engine show a >92% probability of Clippers losing at home in their next match up.

I'm pretty sure Harden had a better playoffs in 2015. In 2016 his team was overmatched

lol clippers tho

>Zubac won a postseason game against the Warriors

Less white women, more putting the ball in the basket.

>I'm pretty sure Harden had a better playoffs in 2015
He literally didn’t, Curry was godlike in 2015 playoffs until the Finals

basketball is a business

>31 point lead blown
>31
>3-1
lads..? what does it mean?

>white guy
>face of the league

It’s good to be in the company of unbiased anons such as yourself. I’d actually like to take credit personally for the improved algorithms and the resulting lists, but I must give all credit to the S.P.A.R.K.S. engineering and design team whose rigorous efforts behind the scenes have sparked the advent of the new Candybread Elite7 rating engine. This amazing technology is what enables an efficient means of compiling and delivering all the sparkworthy stats, news, overall sp. team and player ratings to those who need it.

I believe, as most do, that every spark has at least a chance at becoming a flame. We owe it to ourselves to find the sparkyness within and use that spark to ignite the flame. Glad I could give a spark to those in need.

Harden had a colossal choke job in elimination games in both 2015 and 2017, in 2017 he was guarded by Johnathan Simmons in place of Kawhi and shot like 20%

Just found out jewwario was a rapist...

They’re usually posted after midnight. These are the most recent ones:

>Clippers 16
lol

love science

I think after this game the spark system can never be trusted again.

If the 2016 election taught me anything, its that projections from people professing to be experts mean jack shit. Basketball has so many variables, momentum can swing rapidly, injuries, officiation, it all adds up to make something more complex than these piddly models can hope to predict.

user, if you can try leaving your emotional bias out of this and just trust the algorithms, I’m sure you would actually be more accepting of the improved ratings lists. Maybe you just aren’t familiar with the history of this revolutionary technology. You see, S.P.A.R.K.S. came about during the sparky revolution when a new way of thinking about sparks swept through the NBA like wildfire. Now top NBA analysts are using the new Candybread Elite7 to formulate the problem of how sparks ignite to flames in actual concrete mathematical terms for the firsttime. And while the problem of how sparks came to be in the NBA is far from being solved, it is finally being formulated mathematically as a set of problems that analysts, players and fans can understand, explore and discuss.

The highly advanced particular properties of sparks might arise from the natural laws governing our individual sparkyness. And it explains how these properties allow us to reason about the sparks which might actually exploit the very nature of our reality. Is the world around us as sparky as it actually appears? Or maybe sparky actually introduces a new age in accurate team and player rating. If it is a new age, it’s a bold age, it’s a different age, it’s a spARKy age!

So, you may be asking yourself, how do we cope with this sparky new age after growing up in a mostly sparkless society? We’ve been conditioned our entire lives to avoid sparky situations but then we are given countless examples in the /spARKY news updates of sparky teams and players that dared to ask what happens when you seek out the sparkiest path and take destiny by the hand. You too can choose to take this path, and, with destiny in your hands (and a bit of spark too), comfortably acclimate to this sparky new age.

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Muh algorhythms

How can you expect to win a championship when you have no big man to feed the post to? Where's the fundamentals?!?! I haven't seen one big on the Raptors who can drop step or do a slick up an under! Also, why aren't these refs calling a travel on every play?? Why are point guards shooting?

why are you anti-science?

I really love that the Clippers/Warriors game came down to pure play and shot making, not fucking refball bullshit, despite Draymond’s humungous faggot flop getting Beverley ejected. This was a real game of basketball. Literally the reason I watch the sport.

Alright Yea Forums who was exposed more Durant or Curry

shut up skip

That's exactly why I have a guy like Hot Rod Hundley 5th on my all time list, guy would average at least 25ppg today from his post moves alone. NBA players today are no doubt more athletic and have more range, but lack creativity and fundamentals in the half court. Basketball is more than fast break lay ins and corner threes.

>bad dentistry
You called? Sorry I’m late

best NBA coaches
1. Pop
2. Doc Rivers
3. Bud
4. Quin Snyder
5. Brad Stevens

Go back to Re ddit. Never return

would you like them more if they were cute? faggot

>Bud
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

The first two are really in a class of their own though

>No Pringles
>No Lue
>No Walton

What is this list

Kerr and the shitty depth on Warriors bench, but these things were already known facts...

Exactly! We need more grit in this league! Shame these trainers are too busy with their video cameras instead of teaching these young impressionable men how to play pure fundamental basketball. Feed the post! It is extremely critical to have a big man with a big toolbox to win.

oh shit

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who even plays for the Clips now

>no nurse
Get a load of this guy

italian

Those guys on the bench need to develop playoff experience as well, better for them to get the kinks out now before the Rockets series where they won't have the luxury

the legend of ZUBAKA grows

Galinari? he any good?

yea hes a beast now cause hes healthy

>Basketball has so many variables, momentum can swing rapidly, injuries, officiation, it all adds up to make something more complex than these piddly models can hope to predict.

It sounds like you’re just unaware of the sheer volume of variables which the Candybread Elite7 is capable of simultaneously sorting and processing. It’s multi-variable factor threading abilities enable this technology to accurately and reliably produce rating metrics and probable outcomes.

I’m not sure you’re feeling the gravity of the situation here, user, and I don’t think you’re quite understanding how legit this system is. This isn’t just a new ratings engine, this is a new AGE in rating systems!

From their official page:

>The S.P.A.R.K. rating system is a method for calculating the relative skill level and chance of future success of each team in the NBA. The S.P.A.R.K. system was originally invented as an improved rating system allowing a more accurate predictably of outcome for the NBA regular season, playoff and finals games.

>The system rates and splits each team into well defined categories based on an advanced algorithm which takes into consideration a variety of factors. The difference in the ratings between each team serves as a predictor of the outcome of a future match. A team’s specific S.P.A.R.K. rating is represented by their current category and position within their category. This position increases or decreases depending on the outcome of games as the season progresses.

>Factors which are taken into consideration in the S.P.A.R.K. system includes tracking of injuries, trades and other player transactions head-to-head results, margin of victory and quality of opponent, as well as integration of predictions based on 100,000 run simulations forecasting the rest of the season, consistently updated after each game.

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Brad Stevens has been routinely outcoached by Tyron Lue. Get that man off of this list. He is only regarded by casual fans because of his ATO plays (that he steals) and that he looks like your cousin who studied mandarin in College

He's always been great player, just never a healthy one

The Memeiors just let fucking Montrezl Harrell go 9-9 from the field against them. Imagine what Shaw would do

A good screen from Wes Unseld would shatter durant.

>zoomers don't think Marvin Webster would average 20 and 25 in today's weak game

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They should take more pride in the game, all they had to do was play the slightest bit of defense and they'd have won this game in double digits

Yea that was some sparky display he put on tonight, hopefully Lou gets the honorable mention that he deserves in the next /spARKY update

Guy Rodgers could score at will on the defenses today.

Oh yeah, so your models predicted Demarcus Cousins going down with an injury this game? Oh wait, they didnt, because thats no possible. Just like they cant predict how the officiation will go, or how Beverley will live rent free in KDs head for the entire series. Dumb fuck. Fuck you and your idealized bullshit models.

If clippers beat the warriors this series kd will join the clippers next season

Jeff Mullins would be Bradley Beal in today's game.

This

Not to mention, you can tell that Harden lays a humid and moist foundation for the rest of his team causing a chain-choke reaction in clutch situations (ie: 27 missed threes). How are they supposed to find their spark when he is setting them up in such a humid environment!?

If Connie Hawkins played with the spacing player's have today he'd be better than Harden.

I'm telling you. Mel Daniels and James Bernett “Bunny” Chones would make a complete mockery of that hogwash 6'5 center Draymond Green.

Refs were calling everything GS, KD fouled out and Klay, Curry and Draymond literally had 5 fouls a piece

Do people really think today's players could score against a Willis Reed and Caldwell Jones frontcourt when they're afraid to take it up on Rudy Gobert?

>who is larry bird

He cute

Imagine Corky Calhoun's butter smooth jumpshot in an era where handchecking is illegal.

Y'all know America loved that magic BBC.

How much would Moses Malone average in today's league? I'm thinking at least 40 points and 30 rebounds per game.

> YFW its a clippies win episode

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I'd envy the player's of today if I didn't pity them, while a Bingo Smith or Fatty Taylor elbow to the ribs while going up for a loose rebound wasn't uncommon nor cause to celebrate back then players back then wore their toughness as a badge of honor. It meant something to win a title.
I'm not quite sure what Lebron would do if Cazzie Russell gave him something to think about after trying to collect a board.

>overreacting to one game
>letting personal bias cloud your judgement rather than relying on the algorithms.

Okay, I see you might be a clippers fan and i do apologize If you were offended by the content of the /spARKys TOP PLAYOFF TEAM RANKINGS section, however, you may feel better knowing that the overall sp. team ratings are quite volatile and have been known to shift thousands of points on a game-to-game basis. Check back tomorrow and maybe your favorite player will be making a spark!

I also feel the need to remind you that you are in no way obligated to read or view these posts. /spARKY news update as well as /spARKY’s overall sp. rating stat tracking are free services provided by S.P.A.R.K.S. to the benefit of the community. News and stats are based on the most up-to-date information and all predictions or inferences are meticulously run through the Candybread Elite7 engine before publishing.

You’re welcome to use other rating systems if you’d like but a word of advice, I’d stay away from P.O.R.K.I.E.S. or any rating system still running on the outdated LarryLOAF Pro2.4 engine. It’s just not reliable data at this point.

Also, please keep in mind that S.P.A.R.K.S. rating system accurately takes ALL factors into consideration. Winning a single away game against the Dubs is impressive for an 8Seed, but taking a step back and going from the micro to the macro, we can see a teams potential based on their true inner spark, showing the true nature of each team’s spark-to-flame transformion. We just need to leave our biases out of this and trust the systems algorithms.

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If Willis Reed (6'2 in cloth sneakers) can completely take a prime Wilt Chamberlain out of the Finals twice I don't see why stepping up on a screen to contest a Curry 3 would be considered a problem.

Give me a Tom Meschery or Zelmo Beaty over a Klay Thomspon or Draymond Green any day, player's today just don't know how to play the game.

Boomerposting is off the charts tonight god damn

THIS LITERALLY WHOS BEAT THE WARRIORS DOWN 31 in the playoffs
But the GOAT LeBron got swept

I hope Clippers finally wins one

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I hate to be that guy, I can appreciate that progression is natural and integral to preserving and extending the shelf life of any product, the NBA not withstanding. But when I see a guy like Kevin Durant unable to get his shot off against a physical defender like Patrick Beverly I cringe at the thought of today's stars playing in my era.
Now we didn't have 7 footers that could shoot it from beyond the three point line, hell we didn't have a three point line, but what we did have was physical defense and big men who weren't penalized for camping out down low in the paint. Put Don Kojis or Rudy Larusso in KD's body with their own skill and they're scoring every trip down the court, there's more to basketball than a reliable 18 footers and tough shots were the only thing we knew how to get off.

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First of all, The S.P.A.R.K. engine doesn’t claim to predict injuries, it simply collects the most accurate injury data as one of the many variables in its advanced algorithms. Feel free to refer to their official page for more info. Some of it’s posted here: Secondly, and most concerningly of all, you seem to be unable to prevent your emotional biases from clouding your judgment. Why don’t you just take a few deep breathes, unshock your system, and once you’re nice and calm, refer to what the most recent Candybread Elite7 system data logs tell us? There will always be certain random, unpredictable and unexsparkted events which will be unaccounted for in these estimates, sure, however, we can at least get a more accurate prediction model when we apply this revolutionary technology to our current understanding of NBA data.

TLDR; Just trust the algorithms user.

Today they talk about pace and space, run and gun. The one thing about young people is they talk to you like they reinvented the wheel, we played at a pace of 125 possessions per 48 minutes. You don't see any combination of Golden State, Houston, the Lakers or any of the other downhill teams accomplishing that. We may not have been the best basketball team on any given night but we were by God going to be the best track and field team.

The focus is totally on shooting now, to a fault. When you're evaluating a player 1-5 the first thing the scouts and executives want to know is can he shoot the three? Big men aren't inside-out anymore, they're outside-in. A post move is more rare than an end of the quarter heave. You want to talk about shooting? Tom'my Gun' Heinsohn, that's a guy who could get his shot off with anyone guarding him. Smothered? That's a layup to him. My grandson shows me clips of Klay Thompson, he only took so many dribbles to score this much! Like he reinvented the wheel, if Heinsohn played with a three point line he'd have the scoring record he was that good.

The only player to shoot with that kind of confidence in today's game is Steph Curry, but he's not 6'9 is he?

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I just woke up
I missed the biggest comeback in nba history by fucking clippers
Fuck my life

>>slobbering negro basketball league fans don't realize a 25 point comeback in football is basically equal to a 55 point comeback in apehoop

I'm glad the memeors lost but this shit is small-time

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thats what you deserve you fucking faggot
meanwhile i woke up early like a good citizen, fired up my comfy league pass and watched the entirety of that shit memeposting how clippers suck and should be eliminated after 2 games but all of that came back to fuck me in the ass and i enjoyed it

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Based LandShark

The S.P.A.R.K. Rating System for April 16th, 2019 (updated for 12:00AM):

FLAME:
>•>95% to make Conference Semi-Finals
>•>70% to make Conference Finals
>•>60% to make NBA Finals
>•>40% to win NBA Finals
1.) Warriors (1-1): 142,002 overall sp. rating

SPARKED.1:
>•>99% to make Conference Semi-Finals
>•>80% to make Conference Finals
>•>45% to make NBA Finals
>•>20% to WIN NBA Finals
2.) Bucks (1-0): 94,721 overall sp. rating

SPARKED.2:
>•>90% to make Conference Semi-Finals
>•>75% to make Conference Finals
>•>40% to make NBA Finals
>•>20% to WIN NBA Finals
3.) Raptors (0-1): 91,986 overall sp. rating

SPARKING:
>•>75% to make Conference Semi-Finals
>•>15% to make Conference Finals
>•>15% to make NBA Finals
>•>10% to WIN NBA Finals
4.) Rockets (1-0): 38,427 overall sp. rating

SPARKY:
>•>65% to make Conference Semi-Finals
>•>40% to make Conference Finals
>•>5% to make NBA Finals
>•>2% to WIN NBA Finals
5.) Thunder (0-1): 36,161 overall sp. rating

SPARKER.1:
>•>85% to make Conference Semi-Finals
>•>20% to make Conference Finals
>•>5% to make NBA Finals
>•>1% to WIN NBA Finals
6.) Celtics (1-0): 36,160 overall sp. rating
7.) 76ers (1-1): 28,814 overall sp. rating

SPARKER.2:
>•>70% to make Conference Semi-Finals
>•>40% to make Conference Finals
>•>5% to make NBA Finals
>••>25% to make Conference Semi-Finals
>•>3% to make Conference Finals
>•>2% to make NBA Finals
>•••

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Fuck you i feel asleep watching my netsies get blown the fuck out

arent you the nugshits and jokfag poster
they're my netsies

>Warriors (1-1)
>Clippers (0-1)

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The current /spARKY TOP 10 RATED PLAYERS for April 16th, 2019 (updated for 12:00AM):

1.) Steph Curry: 174,402 overall sp. rating
2.) Kevin Durant: 116,133 overall sp. rating
3.) Kawhi Leonard: 90,781 overall sp. rating
4.) Giannis Antetokounmpo: 76,502 overall sp. rating
5.) Kyrie Irving: 49,729 overall sp. rating
6.) Joel Embiid: 30,165 overall sp. rating
7.) Russel Westbrook: 26,343 overall sp. rating
8.) Paul George: 22,179 overall sp. rating
9.) James Harden: 19,007 overall sp. rating
10.) Chris Paul: 18,712 overall sp. rating

Honorable mention:
17.) Lou Williams: 12,997 overall sp. rating.

——————————————————-——————————————————-

/spARKYS ALL-TIME TOP 10 PLAYERS:

1.) MJ: 999,999 overall sp. rating
2.) Bird: 685,679 overall sp. rating
3.) Kareem: 677,544 overall sp. rating
4.) Duncan: 398,672 overall sp. rating
5.) Hakeem: 370,714 overall sp. rating
6.) Shaq: 359,121 overall sp. rating
7.) Magic: 344,762 overall sp. rating
8.) Kobe: 297,689 overall sp. rating
9.) Erving: 246,566 overall sp. rating
10.) Wilt: 240,092 overall sp. rating

/spARKYS ALL-TIME TOP 5 COACHES:

1.) Pop: 97,900 overall sp. rating
2.) Phil: 72,256 overall sp. rating
3.) Pat: 30,650 overall sp. rating
4.) Red: 27,472 overall sp. rating
5.) Kerr: 24,002 overall sp. rating

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There are more serb posters
Im the domestic violence guy who dislikes nigglets

The S.P.A.R.K. Rating System for April 16th, 2019 (updated for 2:06AM):

FLAME:
>•>95% to make Conference Semi-Finals
>•>70% to make Conference Finals
>•>60% to make NBA Finals
>•>40% to win NBA Finals
1.) Warriors (1-1): 142,002 overall sp. rating

SPARKED.1:
>•>99% to make Conference Semi-Finals
>•>80% to make Conference Finals
>•>45% to make NBA Finals
>•>20% to WIN NBA Finals
2.) Bucks (1-0): 94,721 overall sp. rating

SPARKED.2:
>•>90% to make Conference Semi-Finals
>•>75% to make Conference Finals
>•>40% to make NBA Finals
>•>20% to WIN NBA Finals
3.) Raptors (0-1): 91,986 overall sp. rating

SPARKING:
>•>75% to make Conference Semi-Finals
>•>15% to make Conference Finals
>•>15% to make NBA Finals
>•>10% to WIN NBA Finals
4.) Rockets (1-0): 38,427 overall sp. rating

SPARKY:
>•>65% to make Conference Semi-Finals
>•>40% to make Conference Finals
>•>5% to make NBA Finals
>•>2% to WIN NBA Finals
5.) Thunder (0-1): 36,161 overall sp. rating

SPARKER.1:
>•>85% to make Conference Semi-Finals
>•>20% to make Conference Finals
>•>5% to make NBA Finals
>•>1% to WIN NBA Finals
6.) Celtics (1-0): 36,160 overall sp. rating
7.) 76ers (1-1): 28,814 overall sp. rating

SPARKER.2:
>•>70% to make Conference Semi-Finals
>•>40% to make Conference Finals
>•>5% to make NBA Finals
>••>25% to make Conference Semi-Finals
>•>3% to make Conference Finals
>•>2% to make NBA Finals
>•••

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I beat my wife

Also
>Nets (1-0)

Nice catch user. Thanks for helping to make this place a tightly knit community of sparky individuals working together.

I was concerned about the apparent error as well though, and after running the sysytem diagnostics checks, I’ve concluded we’ve been victim of a pestering porkies poster hacking into Candybread Elite7 mainframe. I took the liberty of upping our security parameters, as well as recalibrating the engine performance specs after applying the time differential sequences and loading up the input defragger. Long story short, Disaster averted! and there’s no need to get our sparks in a bunch, as you can also find the updated ratings list here:

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shouldnt do that buddy :(

What the fuck is up with this thread? Who the fuck is sparky?

>Draymond Green and Kevin Durant had words after the game and reports are they had to be separated. Word was Draymond called Durant out for not taking control more. Draymond was apparently so angry, there was foam/spit covering his entire mouth. Durant just walked out because it took most of the guys to hold Draymond back.
Per Adrian Woj.

Lol Draymond is a literal animal and KD has a lot of bitch in him

Hello my fellow Clippies frens :)

Based incel

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If you really want to know who spARKY is, you’ll need to do your research and follow his updates and ratings. Although sparky is a man shrouded in mystery, I’ve picked up on his particular interest in teams displaying good ol’ fashion team-spark, such as the GS and the Spurs. He can also be found pointing out the many fallacies posted here which support players who’s spark is largely overhyped, such as Lebron and Harden.

It’s almost as if sparks user truly takes a liking to players, coaches and teams who are ACTUALLY sparky, and bases his predictions on the Candybread Elite7 rating engine, rather than from personal bias and media manipulation.

“Who is he”, you ask? personally I believe sparks user is the foretold savior of /nba/, the one who will restore balance and reason to this board, bringing an end to the insistent biased-based list postings, and ushering in a new golden age of sparky stats, ratings, metrics and predictions!..

..But nobody truly knows who, or WHAT, sparks user really is, it’s anyone’s guess..

As to S.P.A.R.K’s origins, It’s been posted to no end user. Lurk more:

>S.P.A.R.K.S. came about during the sparky revolution when a new way of thinking about sparks swept through the NBA like wildfire.

>Now top NBA analysts are using the new Candybread Elite7 to formulate the problem of how sparks ignite to flames in actual concrete mathematical terms for the firsttime. And while the problem of how sparks came to be in the NBA is far from being solved, it is finally being formulated mathematically as a set of problems that analysts, players and fans can understand, explore and discuss.

>The highly advanced particular properties of sparks might arise from the natural laws governing our individual sparkyness. And it explains how these properties allow us to reason about the sparks which might actually exploit the very nature of our reality. S.P.A.R.K.s allows us to finally perceive the NBA as it actually appears.

>tfw Booger might legitimately win a ring without even contributing in the playoffs.

Don't reply to the samefagger

Keep in mind that the Warriors are doing fine. It's a 7 game series, not a 3

2 games at Staples now

Quiet, faggot

>Keep in mind that the Warriors are doing fine. It's a 7 game series, not a 3

B-b-b-bbbut, /nba/ told me spARKY was wrong about the Clippers being rated so low. /nba/ told me that Clippers winning one game was the end of a dynasty for the Dubs!!

Wait, are you saying that the Warriors might actually have a chance a sparking a comeback??!! OMG I don’t want to get my hopes up, but if miracles can happen, maybe the Warriors really can overcome the Clippers... even after losing that ONE WHOLE GAME!

Clippies in 6

nobody has written off the warriors, dumb strawman

He's a samefagging schizoid

I wonder what type of person would post such a thing? How sad and lonely ARE you?

Stephan Corry? Doesn't hold a candle to "Downtown Freddie" Brown. The man had grit.

sup chadapore

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How do I become as cool and knowledgeable as spark user brehs? His grasp on b-ball analytics and massively high iq is truly inspirational. I thank the big man above for spark poster gracing me with his magnificent presence.

If the Clippers win the ship, do they even allow Kawhi to join them next season?

so let me get this straight. The clipper's game plan to beat the warriors is

>hope demarcus cousins goes down in the 1st quarter
>hope Kerr fucks with the rotations and takes the starters out when there's still plenty of game left
>hope the warriors blow a 31 point lead
>hope to complete the biggest comeback of all time every single game

you clippers fags seriously think this will happen another 3 times? You literally needed everything to go right for you just to barely win this one game, now you think you can win the serious? LMFAO warriors in 5

Salty ass nigga

Warriors gonna beat them by 40 next game
This shit was a fluke

I hope Curry breaks his leg, Kevin Ware style

cringe and bluepilled
based and redpilled

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/nba/ is full of mentally ill posters

See you in the finals, Clips4Lyfe

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Reddit with the bantz!

that was a foul and you know it

>larping as some schizo power rankings poster who died a year ago
grim look honestly

>Durbeta

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MEMEOIRS

HAHAHAHA GET FUCKED

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KD is spineless

Serbia is full of mass graves

GOD PLEASE TEAR THE ACL FOR EACH WARRIORS STARTER

anyone notice the girl in the room behind her watching the thunder game?

Fuck, I went to sleep at halftime and missed the Memeiors getting out memechucked.

Why? I want them all to tear both their ACLs.

You missed out being a Clippies fren.

Fuck the NBA for starting the game at 11:00

>how DARE the Clippers take advantage and try to actually win
You have no idea how much of a complete fucking faggot you are

Didn’t know the clipnigs had this many fans..

Once SmartGod gets back...

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My Rapties finna win by 50 in game 2

>You literally needed everything to go right for you just to barely win this one game,
All they really need is for the warriors to keep memechucking themselves into a 70 point turnaround.

Mr "2 girlfriends but still fuck your bitch" Williams is an absolute baller

They don't, but the Warriors have a lot of enemies and the enemy of my enemy is my friend.

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>skipped warriors/clippies cause i thought it was gonna be another blowout

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You fool

McMillan is definitely better than Stevens. Bud also hasn’t proven he can be a good playoff coach.

I miss Landry :(

They’re not going to lose the series, but this is a huge blow to their psyche and team chemistry. They look weak and vulnerable, and every other team in the league is now thinking “if the Clippers can come back from a 31 point deficit against these guys, we can beat them too.” This is a devastating loss if you’re a larriors fan

Benjamin David Simmons.

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I guess you can say the Dubs got CLIPPED :)

>no cat loving nba watching white gf

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Wake up Nuggies. 10h hours untill the second playoff game!!

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He was always a passive beta even in OKC, that's why they went with Russ over him despite the massive talent difference. He'll never carry a team on his own.

>let john wall down
>put up stats on a shitty team
>6 years in people still believe you're actually good, it's the circumstances that are wrong
>no playoffs, bodies of coaches laying around, every talented teammate ran off the team
>"b-but we like isiaih demarcus?!?"-"no.fuk dat nigga.gime rondo or sum ada that pass ball to me"
>forces the franchise into one of the worst trades in decades, only to be saved by deaaron fox years later
>piss off every ref, teammate, team staffer, writer so they decide to ship you out for a memechucker who of course almost immediately becomes better than you
>let anthony davis down by being fat and always injured
>not improve the team at all, regress actually
>gtfo, no tears shed, no goodbyes, be the last straw to break ad's back
>"they be hatin, nobody wanna sign based boogie"
>desperately ringchase to save any last chance you had at a legacy
>let your agent down by claiming your legs feel like bricks 4 months into the season without any games yet
>finally make the playoffs for the first time
>fall over running unchallenged in a straight line
>get a ring
>spend the rest of your career living on mle's and vet mins, injured and killing chemistries everywhere you look
>probably go broke within 2-3 years and resort to drugselling, end up in cell with javaris crittenton in a 5

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>hope their coach outcoaches Kerr
>hope they play harder down the stretch any time the other team has a lead
>hope to be able to complete huge comebacks if the game gets out of hand
Any other questions from the retard factory?

>cat lady girlfriends
you dodged a bullet

they should have traded draymond at the start of the year. don't they realize he's trying to get rid of durant so he can get his

>Trade Draymond
>Still over cap
>Durant leaves anyway since he always was going to regardless
>Forced to sign Boogie this july long term cause no flexibility or let Thompson walk
The problem isn't Draymond it's how shit Iggy and Livingston are now at combined near 25 million

>picture of feet cropped

>anyone notice the girl in the room behind her watching the thunder game?

Why are the Nets so soft? When they went down 30 they put in all their bench players.

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Clips made their comeback with bench players though

Where the fuck is Steve Clifford

Will we finally see this man let Kevin Durant and Curry score not 1 not 2 not 3 not 4 not 5 not 6 not 7 but 8 points in a playoff game?

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All they have to do is win one game on the road.

>How sad and lonely are you?

Aww man, you guys see right through me..Okay fine, l’ll come clean.. Sparky has indeed been feeling pretty sad and alone lately bros. The Candybread Elite7 is chuggin’ along just fine, but I’m feeling a little blue myself.

My GF told me I don’t make her happy anymore. I don’t know where the spark in our relationship went. We used to be so passionate when we were working on “Me problems”. But now that my ratings system is really taking off and all the “me problems” are fading she seems to be just inventing problems bc she’s so use to our relationship being problematic. We faught less when I was in my cocaine sniffing hay days. The sex was better in those days too. I’m beginning to think I might need to move past this stage of my life...

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It's slow here /nba/.

Let's play a classic game

Who would you?
Kiss, Fuck, Marry, Kill

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>likeIsay

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kill you, you fucking dope fiend
fuck all of them

Kiss: 2
Fuck: 4
Marry: 1
Kill: 3

2 GIRLS AND THEY GET ALONG LIKE LOU WILL

You guys know Drake fucked up on one of Lou Will's bitches right and Lou Will got mad and asked for his business investments in her back, right?

they both look older than 14, nice try

youtube.com/watch?v=wb9hNo0BBEM

Don't fall for the she's for you meme, she's for him too

>be one of the greatest dynasties in NBA history
>people will only remember how much you choked and blew leads
OH NO NO NO NO

warrios got lucky durant fouled out. now doubt in my mind that the draymond/durant issues would have come up again if durant was playing in the clutch.

>In December 2011, Williams claimed his NBA recognition saved him from an armed robbery attempt in the Philadelphia neighborhood of Manayunk. A gunman allegedly tried to rob Williams but stopped and said he was a fan of the player. After Williams and the gunman reached an understanding, the former bought the latter food from McDonald's.[59]

start levert

4 2 3 1

>pOvErTy DoEsNt CaUsE CrImE

>williams solved poverty by buying that guy mcdonald's

>the guy abandoned his "crime culture" for a burger

based user gonna draw them /pol/tard (you)s

Kiss 4, fuck 2, marry 3, kill 1

>be one of the greatest offensive threats in NBA history
>get locked up by a journeyman half your size
What in the actual fuck did KD mean by this?

Can't wait for Spurs to go 2-0 against Denver

Larrior fans bitching about refs as usual

Le /spee trashes the Warriors all playoffs and we just win another ring

It's a nice change of pace from when the refs conveniently start "missing" flagrant calls that would put one of the warriors at 6+ (automatic suspension)

Based

Name a bigger fraud

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>we

Also it won't happen, you faggots aren't the patriots. You have no heart

In before the Dubs overcome the Cousins injury and this place gets more depressed than /r9k on a workday

Golden State got noticeably better as soon as he took over in 2014. He's a good coach.

that is what you said last year, queerbo

>Harden impresses the casual fan
That must be why the commentators with decades of history in the league are always talking about how his record breaking constantly puts his name up there with Wilt Chamberlain and Michael Jordan. They're casual fans.

He's a perennial playoff choker

They've been shitty for most of the season compared to their previous years. When Cousins came back they were on fire and then sort of cooled off but were finding their groove again. Expect them to not make the finals now. They have no fire anymore. It's not just about paper talent. The Rockets and Bucks are hungrier than them and have great talent as well.

god damn just how late was last night's game. i followed it on my commute and almost arrived at my destination when it was over.

My rapshits are about to go down 0-2 against the fucking Magic arent they

Yeah, I'm not seeing what the clipfags are seeing. Having this drama this early on in the most clinched round of the playoffs is good for the Warriors. It lets them sort through their bullshit now instead of when it could hurt them the most.

Delusional dubs fan

It's fucking over, you cucks are getting swept in the first round and the dream team will implode

4 year (((dynasty))) up in smoke

You now remember Norris Cole

last night was embarrassing bros...

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youtube.com/watch?v=cGwzcuKDzJE

no one wants you here

more rings than westats and soften

>poverty and crime aren’t directly and intentionally manifested by the corrupted capitalistic oligarchy responsible for brainwashing the masses.

spArky has always been an outspoken critic of capitalism as a societal influence. Above all, capitalism’s negative effect acts as the major detractor of cohesive, taking the spark out of society and culture:

The banks are a natural outgrowths of capitalism because capitalism is all about gaining a competitive advantage and central bankers offer a competitive advantage on the most lucrative product- money itself. And what is money? It's VALUE. MONEY=VALUE so As long as capitalism persists, the illusion that a persons actual value can be artificially controlled, is programmed into their way of living. This is conditioned subservience to SLAVERY. Capitalism builds sheep who only feel value as an artificial construct that can be manipulated by those who have power above them. Therefore capitalism breeds a society which, at its core mentality, believes they hold no value other than the value given to them by those in power above them.

Get sparky with it and expand your minds and it will inevitably help you rate and follow the nba with a sparkier outlook!

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flavour of the month: coaches edition

Just understand one thing Dub haters.
It's a very short distance from "we are depressed about losing Cousins and threw away a 31 point lead" to "we are rallying and winning a ring for our fallen team mate."

Not reading all that shit lol

Personally I’ve never quite seen the spark in Harden. There’s just something sparkless about how he gets his points. His three’s, although occasionally impressive, always are led up to by a long, drawn out, hunched over dribble wasting away the shot clock so he can either chuck a 3 and fall down or drive in and look for a foul. it pains me to even see him on the /spARKY top 10 list at all given his constant flopping tbqh..

I did like what /spARKYS news update has to say about how the Candybread Elite7 rating engine was rating him in contrast to Embiid:

>Most prominently, S.P.A.R.K.S. took note of how Embid doesn’t have a tendency to flail all of his limbs like a seizure victim, diving to the floor as soon as a defender is within 5 feet of him. He doesn’t travel or wrap his lanky body around his defenders and flop about, needlessly, throwing his head back feinting anguish and searching for reprimands in the form of free-throws from the refs. No, the fouls and free-throws called on Embiid are pure and well-deserved, driven by Embiid’s dominating and powerful spark.

They've lost their competitive drive. If they can't 3peat, their dynasty will be considered a failure.

You now remember Matt Bonner

any news on boogie yet

every year, first round upsets.
every year, acting like its new
top teams don't play hard until the 3rd rounds, new friends

I'm a Rockets fan. I'm rooting for our boys Williams, Bev, Harrel, and Dekker. Coming back from a 31 point deficit and pulling ahead with under 2 minutes left on the clock was amazing, but it's not a performance any team could pull off every night.

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He's done

>his spark-to-flame transformation is being formed in dampness
Wouldn't a forest fire burning down a swamp be a more impressive flame than a forest fire burning down a forest of paper eucalyptus trees in one of the driest regions on the continent?

Cloppers played like shit throughout the 1st half and early 3rd quarter while the chuckers were on fire. Don't expect that to continue for every game either. Games 3 and 4 will be close and powerful matches.

>gets a ring regardless

>went to bed since warriors were blowing out clippers
>just read now they made a huge comeback
Holy shit.

>that eye contact
baste

Fair enough. I'm definitely looking foward to the GSW vs LAC games more than the HOU vs UTA games

klay thompson is a terrible playoffs player

>wakes up at 1pm on a weekday
shameful

>I’m a Rockets fan
I feel bad for you - you’re in for a massive let down. I mean just look at the Rockets overall sp. rating. They’re not nearly sparky enough to win the chip.

The Rockets have proven to be reliable chokers when it really counted in the past, and have been steadily slipping down the in the S.P.A.R.K. rating list for quite some time now.

Although, I will say it is a very tricky matter to correctly spark. The Houston Rockets are of course well known flingers who enjoy spamming 3 pt shots until something sticks. As a matter of fact, 36.6% of these 3pt shots do stick for Houston. So with Harden and the Rockets, we should always be set to enjoy a game of chucking and flopping.

Philosophers have pondered for centuries how to predict decisions which will create sparks in the hearts and minds of men. And I’ve been wondering if the Rockets themselves are all so different than these philosophers?
Coach Mike D'Antoni and the sparky James Harden pondered the source of their team’s spark, searching the Rocket’s vast open sparkyness for something solid, something lasting, something sparky! What Harden and company came up with was the great art of exaggerated iso-ball, mismanagement of the shot clock on literally every possession, flopping, and long distance chucking. An unlikely foundation for a spark, but it’s been sparking the Rockets on to their current playoff position thus far, so maybe they are on to something sparky after all. Time will tell.

>factor threading

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you, given your post

My coworker told me this morning. I’m posting on my break

He's the least important member of the team at this point

You have more faith than I do.

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Lou Will is the best player in this series

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>Lakers got rid of dlo and lou will
Yikes

>best player
I’m not sure I would go as far as to say he is the “best”... but he did spark up an honorable mention in the last /spARKY Top Players Update, so there’s that..

They got rid of ZuGod too

mvp 2019

Are Dominicans black

will Drake deign to show up to watch my raptor tonight?

Like I’m Lou Will, I just got the new deal. I am in the Matrix and I just took the blue pill.

Which is why you should never let LeBron James have influence over your teams decisions. GMs need to stop letting him take their job.

For me, it's Lou Williams and Spencer Dinwiddie

they're niggers

since being drafted in 2007; KD had the gym related, financial, and dietary means to put on 50 pounds of muscle and become as dominant in the paint as he is from mid range. And yet he stays the same size: a lanky noodle armed DYEL faggot who gets locked down by someone 8 inches shorter. Why is this guy so retarded? How do you make millions of dollars, have access to the finest chefs, top tier personal trainers, PhD nutritionists, and state of the art gyms all while being paid to complete physical tasks and not touch a dumbell? is he retarded?

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They would have beat your Memeiors last year had CP3 not gotten injured and/or if they didn't get refballed

Depends

KD is not handicapped by his physique. He’s a mental midget. Bev is fucking with him.

Why does Montrezl Harrell look and sound like he’s a rapper

Not to mention, LeFraud will never take any of the blame when his tactics turn out to be damaging to the franchises he plagues. In fact, when searching through the accessed sparky system data logs to see exactly what the Candybread Elite7 engine was computing when rating LeBron James so low, we found that the system was giving massive amounts of computing power to LeBron’s fragile unsparky emotional state and the possible affect his scattered mentality would have on the his overall team-spARK.

Of course S.P.A.R.K.S. is right about LeBron and it came to the same conclusion we all have - that LeBron is incapable of accepting his failures with grace which is why he will never be amongst the GOATs. He blames his teammates and aviods personal blame at all costs.

James at the end of the '15 finals whined about losing, going so far it made it not worth having the opportunity to win if one lost. He complained about a lack of talent--no praise for Mozgov who had a monster series or Thompson who had a monster series on the glass. No praise for JR Smith being the one player on the Cavs that went down fighting after he, himself waved the white flag. James is a great player, but there is more to being the best player than statistics.

Until recently Roger Federer was arguably the greatest Tennis player in history. Yet He has never made a comment remotely like what James has said after big losses. It is more than a lack of humility, it’s lack of spark, it is arrogance, pride, egoism and a whole lot of selfishness. James' comment in overriding his coach's play call ("Just give me the ball and get out of the way.") is indicative of his overall attitude. If your going to take on the weight of being the star player, coach and GM of your team, you should be taking the responsibility for the L's too.

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I cant wait to lose again

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>Sacrificing a season's wage and taking the minimum so that you can rehabilitate, get a ring and prove yourself worthy of a max
>get injured first game of the playoffs thus ending your season

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Kevin Durant has said he would rather lock himself in a basketball court all day and practice scoring from all angles rather than lift/eat food.

>would have..
>if..
I’m sensing quite a bit of emotional bias in your post, user. Do you have any advanced algorithms to back up your claims? Perhaps if you had some sort of proprietary software specifically calibrated for computation of playoffs rating stats and metrics, then I might be able to take your opinions more seriously...

Go Celties

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Hypothetically speaking would a Lebron and AD team beat the Warriors without Cousins?

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KD is LITERALLY autistic.

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>80s was a harder era because some north Dakota lanklet called you the N word
I'm sorry but I think LeBron would dominate in any era. He has managed to win 3 titles and go to the finals numerous times against athletes who are conditioned by modern technology and nutrition, and coaches who actually understand the game outside of the triangle and "feeding the big man!"

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L3-6ron is probably the worst leader, coach, GM, or superstar in NBA history!

>no spark
>no charisma
>abysmal clutch shooting
>le 'let someone else take the big shot' so I can take credit for the assist and my """"high Basketball IQ"""" if they make it, but avoid blame if they miss
>literally blames teammates for losses in post game press
>"after losing in the finals so many times, it almost doesn't feel worth it to make it here"
>"I'm the greatest player in the world"
...but...
>"We just ran out of talent"

This is why LeBronsexuals are so insufferable how can you defend this sparkless shit?

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is giannis on the juice

You talk like you don't know what you're talking about

hey don't say that..

young ambitious athletes who grew up in poverty are on the juice most of the time. realistically speaking he probably is.

He constantly fucking works out. He even rejected being in Space Jam 2 because it would cut into workout time.

>best player on the planet
>can't even get past a 6'1 point guard

How low is this man's test?

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It’s not about muscle mass! It’s about SPARK damn it! How many flames have you seen formed upon damp, cold muscular surfaces? How many spark-to-flame transformations have you even studied? You can’t just pile on masses of power ready muscle without fine tuning your circuitry first. Do you think KD has the body type or stamina which will sustain another 50 lbs of muscle, without drastically reducing his speed, agility and sparky finesse..?

Anyone who is actually unbiased and understands basketball knows that LeBron is a top 2 all time player. It's that simple. If you're sitting here nitpicking quotes and coming up with nicknames to slander him, then all it shows is biased immaturity and lack of knowledge when it comes to understanding the game. I get it if you watch for entertainment, hometown fan reasons, and memes, but don't try to discuss player ability and greatness if all you're going to do is say nonsense.

This really got my mind sparks flying

Kevin Durant lost a finals series to LEBRON. And everyone here in /nba/ knows that LeBron is a pure fraud! So how the fuck can you even put KD in a top 5 list?

obvioustroll.jpg

>muh new age GOATS improved with modern tecknolojeez.
Brainlet Zoomers can’t understand this is precisely why bird makes #2 on the /spARKYS Top 10 List

This generation of casuals have been brought up being force fed """"GOAT LeBron"""" propaganda. They actually believe that having the physical ability of a freight train is the most important characteristic of a great player.

Casuals, LeBron groupies particularly, fail to realize that the mental toughness, the mindset of a player is what actually defines his legacy and determines his success. LeBron has no mental toughness so those who regard him as the GOAT don't place value on mental toughness in other players like Bird and other past players who did not enjoy the advantages of medern athletic optimizing tech. But take Bird for example, he also suffered a crippling back injury which further placed him at a disadvantage to his opponents. What these sparkless brainlets fail to realize is that this is actually a main factor contributing to his undeniable spot in the GOATs category. Even playing with all the disadvantages listed, he still came out as a legend.

Today NBA players are on a completely different training regiment in physical conditioning and Bball fundamentals. Someone like Bird, who had the competitive drive and natural talent of a true GOAT would adapt to this environment and excel in modern day NBA because that's the type of mindset he had. LeFraud in the other hand does not, at his core, have the mental fortitude to attain GOAT status.

Looking at a guy who had 1980's level bball training and conditioning and saying he would not succeed in the NBA environment 35 years later is like saying the top NASCAR driver of 1960's wouldn't succeed in today's environment bc his car would be too slow.

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he's a businessman not a bodybuilder, u ignorant

nice meme

>Bird would be GOAT today
>no argument on how the Memeiors would guard Shaw if they can't even handle Montreal Harrell

It's not one or the other

because he was junior KD but now he is mega.

>Brainlet Zoomers can’t understand this is precisely why bird makes #2 on the /spARKYS Top 10 List
I call bullshit on that. You can't go a week without someone talking about how much of a killing he'd make in today's NBA.

Niggas hate Bird because hes white

Dubs and Lowry scores 0 tonight

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...and who said the Dubs could guard Shaq? You may be confusing sparky with some other user’s posts (probably someone who was basing their opinions off of personal bias)

sparky is the gayest and dumbest thing I've seen in my 11 years on Yea Forums

rapshits ruined lel (:

Oh fucj

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unfortunately it’s fairly typical for uninformed anons around here to give LeBron unwarranted praise and recognition. It’s one of the more embarrassing features of /nba/. But it seems like this new rating system that I keep hearing about might finally restore balance and order to this general. If you ask me, we just need to collectively start basing our opinions on carefully calibrated algorithms, and most importantly, avoid letting our personal biases cloud our judgement!

kek

>T. LarryLOAF Lurker

Go back to lurking Larry, stick with what you’re good at.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
NOT AGAIN

I wish this fag would just leave and stop spamming, which is a bannable offense ;)

So when I told you the Warriors weren't going to win the title you DID bet on the field against them, right?

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These boomerposts crack me up.

Oh shit how could you do this

If you put Lebron in the NBA pre-2000 he scores 120 points per game. The game is different now. Bird's numbers will also highly inflated because he was on the most stacked team of all time.

I can't get over how funny it's going to be when the bucks choke in the second round again

You mean when Kyrie chokes on Giannis' 8 incher?

Lebron is on steroids

I doubled down bc they will easily win

>again
bucks haven't been out of the first round of the playoffs since before your zoomer shitskin ass was born to a single mom

whos ready for this coon to drop 50pts tonight?

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Then why does he suck.

i wish he'd drop 50 pounds instead

Paul Pierce's best season (2005-06):
26.8/6.7/4.7/1.4/0.4 - 47/35/77 %

Luka Doncic's rookie season:
21.2/7.8/6.0/1.1/0.4 - 43/33/71 %

How much better than Pierce do you think Luka's peak will be? To what other players would you compare Luka's potential ceiling?

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>successfully execute the greatest comeback in the history of the Playoffs

The Clippers have to be energized by this in the best way possible. Even when theyre down 30, its not over. Now they have their own record to stand behind and that has to add to their mental toughness and energy. Plus, such a monumental collapse must have left the Warriors somewhat shook. The fact that Cousins is out now too should definitely add to this. Next game will be very interesting to watch.

He wont be much better than he is now if he doesn't get in better condition and put on some muscle. Heard he's a party animal too, hard to judge somebody's potential with that in mind.

For a 7 foot guy with a 15 inch wingspan, thats actually pretty small.

Leafs:
>"I think kawhi would be happy making the ECF. That should convince him we can get close to winning."

Meanwhile the Spurs are shaping up to make the WCF with Derozan and LMA.

Paul pierce was the fourth best C the year they won tbqh.

Not sure which rating system you were using in the formulation of your opinions on Lebron (hopefully not P.O.R.K.I.E.S. for sparkssake) but any rating system not running on the Candybread Elite7 is clearly inferior. The S.P.A.R.K.S. system introduces a new age in accurate team and player rating. It’s a bold age, it’s a different age, it’s a spARKy age!

So, you may be asking yourself, how do we cope with this sparky new age after growing up in a mostly sparkless society? We’ve been conditioned our entire lives to avoid sparky situations but then we are given countless examples in the /spARKY news updates of sparky teams and players that dared to ask what happens when you seek out the sparkiest path and take destiny by the hand. You too can choose to take this path, and with destiny in your hands (and a bit of spark too), comfortably acclimate to this sparky new age.

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Happy birthday karrem abdul jabbar

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kawhi spent millions on socal real estate like a couple months ago, we know he's not staying.

The Clippers win last night sealed the deal, hes coming to LA

>Comparing an era of hard nose post scoring ball players to soft ass pussy bitch, no defense, 3 point scorers.

People used to have to fight for points and rebounds

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how does one acquire spark

He was talking about the second round you brainlet.

Nobody liked Kareem in the 70s and 80s. He was always seen as this weird ass autist who had shitty attitude. People didn't care when he retired.

that purchase was made way before the reporting, also its a few hours from clippers arena. That really isn't a sign that he is going to staying, honestly it points more toward being a summer home which is good news for non-LA teams

OH SHIT, LOWRY HAS REVEALED HIS CAUCASIAN FORM

HOW WILL YOU STOP A NIGGER WITH HIGH LEVEL REASONING AND CONTROL OVER HIS EMOTIONS?!?!?!

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hes still fat

Warriors ain't any better with Cousins.

Still, GSW are back to their depth problem at Center. Bogut has looked pretty good in his minutes but he can't play 20+ minutes.

He said he was honestly unsure on the ibaka show. If he's unsure at this point then that's a big yikes for Toronto fans. He didn't want to be traded to Toronto in the first place

no player would ever reveal what where they want to play in their contract year. You are basically forfeiting a max contract offer if you say "yeah im probably gonna stay here"

ok here swolry

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He eats and drinks himself out of the league.

>HIGH LEVEL REASONING AND CONTROL OVER HIS EMOTIONS
Pretty sure if you bully a white kid he seethes pretty hard.

He seems like an alright dude, maybe he'll let us sign and trade him. That's probably the best we can hope for at this point.

if kawhi doesn't win a championship then i don't want him. if he wins, then he stay. capisce?

WHO CAN STOP THIS MAN

Hell no

Tell me when that dude gets stabbed to death, comes back to life and plays a whole season and get back to me.

Until then, I'll just be making calls

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ur gonna give us shit for him and youll like it clippy

Reminder that literally every NBA player is on the juice. The league checks less for PED's than any other major sports league in this country.

He seems like a genuinely nice person but I question his intelligence. He grew up in a real rough place. His dad died when he was in high school. He was given millions of dollars coming into the league and decided to put his career in the hands of his uncle. Kawhi is a real impressionable guy and obviously his values lie with his family. His agent (His uncle), can easily convince him to get out of Canada and play in their hometown to be close with family. Hell, his uncle convinced him to request a trade out of the best run organization in American sports. Did you see those Tim Duncan/Manu retirement ceremonies? Kawhi was convinced by his family to leave that brotherhood.

We're not giving you LouWill back

here we go sixies here we go

*clap* *clap*

Yeah, it's called a school shooting.

>is on the juice.
Jokic is on Cola

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Thats what i meant

Flame is acquired via the act of sparking. But one cannot “aquire” spARK per se. The spark must be felt and understood from deep within. I believe, as most do, that every spark has at least a chance at becoming a flame. We owe it to ourselves to seek out the truth in all NBA related matters, unlocking the sparkyness within ourselves and using that spark to ignite a lasting flame. It’s quite the paradox actually, the spark was there all along, you just had to stop looking for it in order to see it. I think the late, great Allan Watts put it best when he said:

>“Trying to aquire spARK is like trying to bite your own teeth”

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and thats a good thing

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Give us Shamet and you have a deal

Sure, you can have Wilson Chandler, hope that helps bitch

Get your own shooters

how tf you get arms longer than your legs

There is no parity like the equal opportunity to cheat.

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They can have Mike Muscala and SGA

Downloading 2k19 again, what’s a good Pete Maravich build?

Just play MyLeague and download his DNA

The one where you spend $45 in VC so you can lose to the 16 year old kids who dominate with pure stretch 4s.

Nah I have to play in the park with my partnandem

nah Shai is a great value for the team

The one where you spend $7000 in myteam for a chance to get his card.

90% of the NBA is juiced.

Lebron definitely might have done a few cycles here and there but bear in mind these are genetically gifted athletes.

For instance I've known bodybuilders who are on gear and they are of the same size as Isaiah Thomas 5'9 and around 185. IT has top tier genetics though and as someone here pointed out most if not all players have tried gear once. Durant might have tried dat dere celltech but can only handle one scoop. Therefore durcan't ever leave humanity

NBA has bs drug policy.

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2k19 is all about height. Stretch 4s are easily the best class because they get "Wide open" or "lightly contested" at every 3 they attempt.

But if you wanna have a fun pete maravich build then I suggest you play purely offline unless you want people sending you angry messages.

but he thicc

Here's LeBron in 2015 when silver chimped out and started testing players like nuts. Also coincidentally the same year LeBron's back issues were at his worst. Carmelo was also on very harsh "paleo diet" around the time and he looked like an anorexic prostitute in west Kentucky.

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>IT has top tier genetics though
no he doesn't. he's extremely skilled for his size but his height and strength aren't exactly top tier genetics

they're not really using for size or cutting its more recovery aiding and injury recuperating so photographs and the like aren't exactly going to give a picture of who is on what and when.

This and not all roids give you bigger muscles. Other are just for improving performance, strength etc.

This player is caught juicing but has the body of an average player of his position.

Good choice since 3 used to have a shepenis

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>5'9
>top tier genetics
Lol only a turbomanlet would post this.

He's very strong, that's how he was able to finish in traffic and at the rim so effectively during those peak seasons.

Why the fuck y'all still playing 2k?

>wake up
>Warriors blew a 311 point lead
>Cousins is literally dead
>Warriors are peak shook

>mfw the Clippers ruined the Warriors 3 peat bid
>mfw Cockshits unironically took on the curse of Cliff Paul and allowed Clippers to become the most desirable team to join in the greatest URFA class in decades
>mfw Cockshits still don't make the WCF regardless
>anyone out of the Nuggets side of the bracket is guaranteed to make the Finals

Good Lord

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What's amazing with Lebron's physique are his capped delts and somewhat large traps. Both muscles which respond very well with roids.

HOOOOO NO NO NO NO

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>very strong
>his best season ended with a major career threatening hip injury
he'll never be the same,but sure he's very strong

This. 2k19 is complete ass.

friend started a cycle and first thing anybody noticed was unreal traps then he would insist he's 100% clean

Bruh, it's an open secret that NBA players juice. You think they have time to go lift weights for 4-6 hours a day? They also have to run drills, watch tape, practice their mid-range from multiple angle, practice 3's, work on lateral explosiveness, run plays, etc. Just not enough hours in the day. They need HGH and testosterone.

>embiid knocks out some afro loser with an elbow on the nets
>laughs about it in the postgame presser
>nets fans seething and calling for the nets to break embiid's legs
based embiid BTFOing the angry new york chimp fans

I'm talking about how he stacked up against other players who are of the same height as him 5'9. It's so rare to see somehow as muscular as IT who has his vertical and quickness. I bet he can beat his twin brother Mbappe in regards to pure athleticism alone. All the while being more muscular.

This is the reason why to be in the NBA you need to have top tier genetics. I've been seeing basketball wannabe manlets (6'3 and below) saying they can make the NBA because a 5'9 IT and a 5'10 Barea is being paid millions to be on an NBA roster. What they don't know is that both IT and Barea are both genetically gifted (quick, atheletic and muscular) even thought they are short.

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IT may be a manlet, and not very impressive at first look, but looking deep within him for his internal spark, it’s pretty obvious he’s got incredible team-spARK. Much like eternal good guy Duncan, IT seems to value giving credit where credit is due. Unlike Lebron, who can be found constantly fiending for the Lime-light and letting his ego create a cancerous environment for his team, IT takes a more noble route helping to form team cohesion and a damp free, dehumidified environment

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good point

How do you explain JJ Reddick?

Embiid dindo nuffin. Simmons is a bad influence

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great hand eye coordination

Did he forget that Rondo getting injured saved them from being done in 5 games?

You think you're more athletic than Redick?

>Rondo getting injured

>He doesn't know

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Well we as lifters know. Best way to trigger shadow pinners is to tell them their physique is achievable in 2 years lifting with clean diet no protein powders needed.

No, but Im pretty sure that Reddick probably isn't supremely gifted athletically

Without Cousins, everyone on the Warriors will need to chuck the ball more, 16ppg gone.

Kevin Looney is an offensive liability and that dago cunt from Australia is physically 45 years old

>manlet cope

Reddick has talked about on his podcast he used to be able to windmill and do 360 dunks. He is athletically gifted.

I actually think the warriors will be better without cousins defensively, and possibly offensively

>Good guy Duncan
Fuck I miss him guys

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Silver told me a team projected in the 9 -12 range is jumping up to top 3

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On NBA regulation hoops?

do you think you could shoot as well as he does if somebody paid you to practice fulltime? being able to perfect and replicate a shooting motion, having a quick release and accurately finding the net are all athletic feats. He also seems to have superb cardio the man is running constantly when they have the ball in the half court

boring ass player possibly homosexual

Other than being handsome, Reddick shoots the ball really well.
Also
NBA Athleticism is miles apart from normal average man athleticism. Remember Scallenge by Scalabrine? He showed those wannabe basketball players that he is no joke. He literally destroyed those fools. And those basketball players are no joke either since they played in college. Well erase that though since Scal is the GOAT and better than Durcan't. He's steph curry with 100 inch vertical

Shai isnt going anywhere, neither is Shamet. Two great rookies, both costing jack shit to keep around, it aint happening. Realistically the Craptors could get Garrett Temple and Wilson Chandler in that trade, thats it. Clippers dont need to make any room cap space wise.

He literally gay bullied Kawhi

To see is to believe. They don't have any centers that can shoot 3s as well as cousins.

>soft ass pussy bitch, no defense,
Nigga what are you on. The defense back then was just have your man because you aren't allowed to play zone defense and you're stuck playing one on one with a better player

Why do men comfortable around other men so scary to you?

Are you one of those incel weirdos that never experienced male comradery?
Never been part of a sports team?
Never had a group of bros you grew up with since childhood?

I advice you to stop projecting your gay fantasies on the rest of the world while we live on as well adjusted individuals and you've never felt human contact past your horrible parents.

JJ Reddick is 6'4", fast, able to dunk on a 10 ft rim, and has perfect shot mechanics while able to shoot going towards his dominant hand going full speed off of a floppy screen. What do you mean explain his athleticism

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You're probably right.

I suppose I should say that Reddick is in the shallow end of the "supremely gifted genetically" pool of the NBA.

jj reddick is garbage. and a huge defensive liability as well as a playoff choker.

You grew up in the states, you know how it is. Its an American thing. Men here are extremely insecure in their sexuality

warriors with kd? no
without kd? maybe

Timmy was unbelievably based and highly intelligent

Literally a stoic giant and one of the GOATS. The fucker even opted to finish his degree instead of just going straight to the NBA, it tells you something about how his mind works. Duncan is near impossible to hate, even if you think his play style is boring.

>unironically hating on good guy Duncan
Ya’ll need to tune up your recievers to a higher frequency and actually spark a change towards the positive in your perceptions. Duncan is eternal. Who dares talk shit on Good Guy Tim Duncan!?:

>5× NBA champion (1999, 2003, 2005, 2007, 2014)
>3× NBA Finals MVP (1999, 2003, 2005)
>2× NBA Most Valuable Player (2002, 2003)
>15× NBA All-Star (1998, 2000–2011, 2013, 2015)
>NBA All-Star Game MVP (2000)
>10× All-NBA First Team (1998–2005, 2007, 2013)

These Duncan-hate posts are completely baseless - just more empty bias opinions by those jealous of the great Timmy’s undeniable, eternal spark! Just refer to the algorithms if you doubt me.

>1.) MJ: 999,999 overall sp. rating
>2.) Bird: 685,679 overall sp. rating
>3.) Kareem: 677,544 overall sp. rating
>4.) Duncan: 398,672 overall sp. rating

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male bonding is such a beautiful thing

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Oh god, SPARKfag is still here? Still got your hate boner for Lebron?

duncan was the biggest system babby ever

imagine being called gay in the US just because you're giving your best friend and teammate a kiss

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>ctrl+f 'spark'
>one hundred and fucking fifty two (152) results
Holy fucking autism. How does one end up this mentally ill?

>cousins exposed as a bum that can't stay healthy
this won't be the last memeior to bite the dust

what the hell is the sparky system

The greatest thing in /nba/ history

I miss Melo

advanced analytics

>spARK is still here
Maybe it’s been sparky in here all along but you’re just now actually noticing it.. maybe you’re finding yourself on the precipice of a new age in accurate team and player rating. its a new age! it’s a bold age, it’s a different age, it’s a spARKy age!

So, you may be asking yourself, how do we cope with this sparky new age after growing up in a mostly sparkless society? We’ve been conditioned our entire lives to avoid sparky situations but then we are given countless examples in the /spARKY news updates of sparky teams and players that dared to ask what happens when you seek out the sparkiest path and take destiny by the hand. You too can choose to take this path, and, with destiny in your hands (and a bit of spark too), comfortably acclimate to this sparky new age.

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america isn't even civilized

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>T. Porkies Poster

This thread is cancer

Do you type all this shit out before you spam your autism here or is it completely off the cuff, free association shit?

Despite it being faster now, during the regular season the thread was better.

S.P.A.R.K.S. came about during the sparky revolution when a new way of thinking about sparks swept through the NBA like wildfire. Now top NBA analysts are using the new Candybread Elite7 to formulate the problem of how sparks ignite to flames in actual concrete mathematical terms for the firsttime. And while the problem of how sparks came to be in the NBA is far from being solved, it is finally being formulated mathematically as a set of problems that analysts, players and fans can understand, explore and discuss.

The highly advanced particular properties of sparks might arise from the natural laws governing our individual sparkyness. And it explains how these properties allow us to reason about the sparks which might actually exploit the very nature of our reality. Is the world around us as sparky as it actually appears? Or maybe sparky actually introduces a new age in accurate team and player rating. If it is a new age, it’s a bold age, it’s a different age, it’s a spARKy age!

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I don't

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>“Guys are not being their own men. The outside world distracts them. They are listening to whoever: their dad, their brothers, who know nothing about nothing. Sometimes you have to be your own man." - @KendrickPerkins

remember when team broships were a thing? that was mad gay

>isn’t familiar with the most technologically advanced rating engine to date

Kek, just do a bit of research, user. It’s a pretty credible system from what I can tell.
From their official page:

>The S.P.A.R.K. rating system is a method for calculating the relative skill level and chance of future success of each team in the NBA. The S.P.A.R.K. system was originally invented as an improved rating system allowing a more accurate predictably of outcome for the NBA regular season, playoff and finals games.

>The system rates and splits each team into well defined categories based on an advanced algorithm which takes into consideration a variety of factors. The difference in the ratings between each team serves as a predictor of the outcome of a future match. A team’s specific S.P.A.R.K. rating is represented by their current category and position within their category. This position increases or decreases depending on the outcome of games as the season progresses.

>Factors which are taken into consideration in the S.P.A.R.K. system includes tracking of injuries, trades and other player transactions head-to-head results, margin of victory and quality of opponent, as well as integration of predictions based on 100,000 run simulations forecasting the rest of the season, consistently updated after each game.

>A reminder of how insane 2016 was:

>Last summer, Brook Lopez, DeMarcus Cousins, Ed Davis and JaVale McGee signed for a combined total of:
$17 million

>In 2016, Timofey Mozgov, Joakim Noah, Ian Mahinmi, Meyers Leonard, Miles Plumlee and Biyombo signed for a total of:
$365 million

Redick would destroy you, NBA is the highest level of basketball competition in the world

Spark is for dumb cucks
Lebron is the GOAT small forward
Being gay is okay
Expressing your affection for other men through physical gestures is not gay.

I don’t know, Do you attempt to interface with an outdated version of the LarryLOAF Pro2.4 software before you spam your biased opinions here or is it completely off the cuff, free association shit?

So filter it

porkies pls go

>Spark is for dumb cucks
Wrong
>Lebron is the GOAT small forward
Wroooooong
>Being gay is okay
Okay
>Expressing your affection for other men through physical gestures is not gay.
Okay

chuck needs a spark

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Can we take a moment appreciate the fact that the Warriors blew a ThreeOne lead again?

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>T. Obvious Flaming Faggot Porkies Poster

GOOOOOO RAPTORSSSS!!!!!!!

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*dabs on the Nuggers*

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rate my fit /nba/

>Warriors imploding
>my team is unable to take advantage
Fuck injuries

>one-year burner contracts vs multiyear contracts
you're retarded

Sorry my autistic friend, everything I said is true. Lebron is the greatest small forward of all time, and spark is for friendless losers who spend all day jacking off to anime girls.

Hey, easy on the homophobia. Let’s not spark up negative stereotypes now..

>those players
>not worth way more than 1 year contracts
>2016 players
>worth more than a 10 day contract

You're so fucking dumb is hurts. Completely missed the point.

>my team
didn't know steve ballmer posted here

MY SPURS

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>One loss
>role player injury
>THIS JUST IN: GSW imploding!!!

Hot take you got their user. Way to end the thread with a spark!

Reminder golden state/Cleveland had a legit rivalry until Kevin Durant made the biggest bitch move in the history of the league and now people use it to knock brons legacy

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>Lebron is the greatest small forward of all time

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I'm from nike, please delete your message, thanks.

Reminder Kyrie finally killed LeBron

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>16ppg 1 year removed all star center
>role player

Cousins turned down money and he got what he deserved

i already have a dozen (you)s in this thread, dab

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Based

He really does. The show's 1000x times better when he's not on it.

Kyrie Irving celebrated his first playoff win with the Boston Celtics by embracing his father. Irving missed the entire 2018 NBA Playoffs.

"Kyrie is a strange dude," said Brian Windhorst on the Brian Windhorst & The Hoop Collective podcast. "They win Game 1. He played okay. He kind of took over in the second half.

"He runs over to his family after winning Game 1 in the same vein Tiger (Woods) ran over to his family after winning The Masters. He's celebrating with his dad. I'm all for it."

Windhorst compared how Irving celebrated a first round win to his reaction when the Cleveland Cavaliers won The Finals in 2016.

"He won The Finals and he was angry," said Windhorst. "He, seriously, won The Finals, his father and sister came out to hug him and he was angry. He was mad, in that moment.

"And then, when he got to the locker room, while his teammates were celebrating, he FaceTimed Kobe (Bryant).

"This is a strange man. Hell of a player, strange man."

Windhorst added that he can see Irving re-signing with the Celtics if they go on a run in the playoffs. Windhorst was then asked by Rachel Nichols what he believes the odds are of Irving re-signing with the Celtics if they're eliminated in the second round where they will presumably play the No. 1 seed Milwaukee Bucks.

"50-50 at best, probably too high," said Windhorst. "I'm protecting myself a little bit there so I don't get aggregated."

Sorry to say, but your opinion of Cousin’s doesn’t really match up with our rating engine’s results.. it may very well be that you’re running your ratings model using an outdated version of the stats filtering module. For a more viable reference point, please access “2015 Warriors.spk” file. Once your system management profile has prompted you to confirm the updated load order, simply select “yes” and proceed to re-run your results. I think then you’ll see that the Warriors have sufficient spark reserves to win the chip without Cousins in the line up