Chicago Cubs @ Milwaukee Brewers Official Gamethread

>Fly out to the warning track when it sounds like it had good contact.
Inb4 Boors have an awkward swing that flies for a home run.

There's one thing that's missing from the clubhouse, and it's a hardass vertern. We used to have Lackey for that, but after he left, no one really took over the role. Maybe the Cubs can bring him back as a coach to at least crack some skulls. or even he'd probably pitch better than some of bullpen give how things are going.

Oh look, an awkward contact for a home run.

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>cusb

>CUSB

"MAKE IT STOP"
based cubs color analyst after that HR

in regards to the roster moves

>Edwards down to AAA
good. the fact the delivery he was using all spring - to good effect - was banned after his first outing fucked with his mechanics. he needs to reset
>Webster and Ryan to the Majors
both these guys seem whatever, and thats with 100+ innings at the big league level, but Webster is coming off a good spring and Ryan (who's had a little bit more success) had a great year at AAA in 2018.
>Jen-Ho Tseng DFA
press 'H' to pay no mind. dude was trash above AA

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Big hecking kek >cusb

GOD FUCKING DAMN IT.

Ok, this has gone far enough.
How do we fix them cubs?

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THE CUBS ARE FINISHED

Bill murray is sad now

I hate Ryan Braun as do most fans, but he doesn't care and I admire that.

Please be okay Almora, you're the superior center fielder.

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I dab on the cubs oh yes i do

>CATCHERS INTERFERENCE AGAIN
fucking lmao

>another catchers interference

it cant get any worse, can it?

designate everyone for assignment and let the I-Cubs play instead

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The last resort before a full teardown and rebuild is to trade Schwarber and/or someone else. They are out of valuable prospects and apparently out of money as well.

SCOOBY DOOBY DOO
CUSB ARE POO
THE CUBS FUCKING SUCK NOW

COME ON SCOOBY DOO
WHERE IS YU
HE GAVE UP 10 HOME RUNS NOW

>Another catcher's interference
What the fuck is going on?

>Len pointing out it probably kept Aguilar from getting a home run
I'll take it.
3D chess by Caratini

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>Len pointing out it probably kept Aguilar from getting a home run
Len is a fucking retard and wrong

BASED

FATASS CAN'T EVEN ROUND FIRST ON A BALL TO THE WALL.

Come to Carls Jr. For an easy W

Schwarber ruining the pipe dream of a no-no or perfect.

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He's Iowa's problem now.

So how do we rate Hader?

A racist supported by a racist fanbase.

>cubes

So he's /ourguy/?

bless you

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hel yea

HEY HEY HEYWARD WITH A 2 RUN HOMER!

2-1

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BASED

Only if you're from the shithole of Wisconsin. The civilized part of the world, aka Chicago need not bother with him.

>allowing Heyward to homer on back-to-back days

wow, what an awful pitching staff the Bruers have

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Yelich should heave caught that, what a fucking scrub.

>go out
>get shot
Not even a civilized part of america

Schwarbiepie would have caught it.

Who's going to hit a homer first this season, Hammels or Lester?

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>Milwaukee "home" game

Lmao absolutely fucking embarrassing

>His skin hasn't evolved to be bullet proof.
A four inch layer of fat from eating all that cheese is no substitute for protection.

Yeah, looks like the cubs are officially back

Nice falseflag

I'm good not being black. Happy even

He might have, we certainly know that bum Yelich can't.

do cub fans still outnumber broors fan at pissbeer park

>any pro-cubs post is a false flag
keep coping

oh die you with your fake flags

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YEAH THEO FUCK YOU YEAH

It was about even when I went two years ago

are there still 19 posters in this thread or does it mean 19 poster were in this thread

fuck off with your 2 years ago bs...im talking about last year and this year faggot

Jason Heyward has homered in consecutive games why

t. falseflagger

the false flag has been spotted

SHEESH

BAEZ AND CARATINI SAVE A RUN AT HOME PLATE

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TyJerome is my name whats you guys name

I thought you weren't allowed to block the plate anymore?

This thread's bants will surely surpass last night's

take it back or i my cry

It was about 50/50 for the two cubs @ brewers games I went to last year

Rizzo has balls.

What an AB by the damn pitcher

Cusb=gay

Go Cubs!

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Epstein: Sorry to Cubs fans; 1-6 start 'on me'

why is THEO fukken asking for forgiven...joe, keeps running edwards out to the field when the cubs are close in games

Grand slam calling it

Tie game, early >cusb

Hamels is lucky as fuck. That was almost the second 3-2 grand slam he's given up because he was afraid of calling in the run.

Blame the players

Goddamn Cubs pitching

Yelly is smelly

50 pitches thru 2 for hamels

is that good?

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>Swinging so hard on a strike 3 your help falls off
Yelich? more like Yelchoke.

I don't think you'd get a huge settlement for getting hit by a train...

>allows a base hit to a pitcher
>strikes out Yelich

bravo hamels
i cant believe its only 2-2...

My parents are throwing a party upstairs. Should I go steal a beer?

nah but it cool...edwards might pitch today

last two digits of this post will be the combined amount of runs scored

No he won't. He got optioned to Iowa. Follow the goddamn news.

I love the shift. Dead pull hitters are SEETHING
>ban the shift so I don't have to learn to hit oppo
How about nah

and good riddance honestly

I think I figured out why Kris Bryant's name starts with a K.

>cusb
>2-2
>3rd inning

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why would the cubs send their best black ball player to the minors...FUCK YOU THEO FUCK YOU RACIST PIECE OF SHIT MOFO

fuck off its all joe fault...kill champman, kill edwards, kill morrow, kill strops. joe is a fukken racist piece of shit

He'll be back, honestly. I don't think he's special, but they literally banned his mechanics, and Maddon fucking up his confidence by pitching him in a storm where the ball was clearly slipping out of his hand didn't help.

i dont get it

>cusb
>2-2
>3rd inning

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This post reeks of reddit thinking and stlye.

Because that's the way girls spell it.

huh?

It's the Brewers who are racist for not releasing Hader

Who said there was no such thing as good news?

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the cray cray is strong in this one

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so are you a girl

What are we drinking today guys

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it would had taken 2 second in paint to remove the (((4 years ago)))

ice mountain water with a hint of lemon and lime...mmmm so refreshing

>cusbse

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Sprite

soda water with lime

1-2-3 for Hammels

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Brandy and cherry coke, wausau wi reporting in

yeah but over 9000 pitches...edwards will be warming up any minute now

water, i have a sore throat and i'm trying to stay hydrated.

Natty Daddy

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Cheerwine

Either Baez is hurt or he's about to get benched by Maddon for that.

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What did he do?

Didn't hustle.

No comment ;-)

Foul or no foul? You be the judge...

Let the kids play!

oh so youre gender fluid...today a boy tomorrow a dog or girl

God I wish I were Aaron Judge...

These are some boomer tier jokes, user.

Unsweetened iced tea with triple sec.

It's better than zoomer tier fortnite jokes

gg brewers

Should I hit the strip club after the game bros?

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lets see you do better...this is a tough room considering the cubs 1-12 start

BASED

If you’ve got the money for it brother

no fap until the jinx is over

sluts

It doesn’t matter when the dinosaur show was, does it?

>those kids with the fortnite and the tide pods

>he stepped on third

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sluts

What if we try fap magic like the Blackhawks way back when.

With the killing themselves despite having their parents money and the dabbing on everything

I'M GONNA DO IT BROS

Don't worry, it's a no fap club

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We live to fight another inning.

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FUCK WE MISSED YELLY

TOO MUCH MONSTER MONSOON

walking around like they think they rent the place

for me, it's Colbert 'Cole' Hamels

water

kyk, I hope the dancers give af
nothing worse than a stripper who clearly doesnt wanna be there

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E&J Cherry Coke. Wausau in da house

this is the part of the game when Joe does something stupid in regards to the pitching staff...81-53 pitch/strike count for hamels

is its time to bring in edwards or let hamels pitch the 6th

>Heyward luck stat procs

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I see what you did there

The strippers at this club always pretend to like their jobs

fuck

why is Dexter Fowler stealing bases

CARATINI WITH HIS OWN 2 RUN HOMER TO BRING IN HEYWARD
4-2

Caratini's first homer of the season

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>Carrotini

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CA-RA-TI-NI

*clap* *clap* *cl*cl*clap*

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here we go car-y here we go *clap clap clap*

CARATINIIIII

I've never been to a strip club, give them the info.

Descalso looks like a contractor I hired to tile my kitchen floor.

>give them the info.

What do you mean by this? Do you want to know about strip clubs?

Guys relax. It would take the hand of God for the Cubs bullpen to go 5 scoreless innings.

>Not keeping up with the latest youth slang.
No wonder the average age of people who watch baseball is 65.

>Out on the road today I saw a Deadhead sticker on a Cadillac
>A little voice inside my head said
>Don't look back, you can never look back

leave God out of this or else

I think I figured out why Kris Bryant's name starts with a K.

>give them the info
Is it using a weird pronoun?

kris need a trip to the minors...hes broke again

Just the finger.

Cubs need to employ a system of mirrors for their batters, the Boors catchers easily give away where the pitches are going based on their positioning.

I think the Chicago and Iowa Cubs should switch places for two weeks.

Please do something top of the lineup.

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kek

Three days after she made history as the first African American woman elected mayor of Chicago, Lori Lightfoot threw out the ceremonial first pitch for the White Sox home opener against the Mariners.

bruh, look behind you. he's right there.

...

is this true:

White privilege doesn’t mean you won’t get the job.
It does mean that the reason you don’t get the job won’t be because you’re white.

This is outrageous. Our future as white males is in peril.

Watch the Rickets refuse to make the same offer to her. Because they're racist and republican and would sign Hader if they had the chance. Because he's a racist too.

Yeah, that way can practice without doing any actual harm to the real world.

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>Another 1-2-3
Fire Maddon if he pulls Hammels right now

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Four innings left! Can Da Cubs hang on bros?

I think you make an interesting point, and to follow up on that thought, I would like to make an important note of something, one that I think has been overlooked by society, that the Cubs blow chunks and needed the Ottoman Empire to help win their first two titles, and couldn't win a title between when Arizona became a state and when its baseball team won a World Series, and couldn't win a title in poor old Harry Carey's lifetime RIP.

as long as edwards, dont get the call from the bull pen

DINGEROONI

damn it bros I was just about to call a javy HR

BAEZ WITH A SOLO SHOT HOME RUN AND CAIN IS DOWN. AGAIN.
5-2

Baez just trotting around the bases with his hands up wondering what's going on and then just bolts for it.

That's just cathartic, especially since it's just Baez causing Cain to look like a fool again.

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Not today Cain!

INSIDE THE PARK HOME RUN

EL MAGO BABY

Nope, it's a Digger, hit the yellow line and then the back wall before going back into play.

SHIT STADIUM DESIGN YOU GOT HERE BOORS.

did they really rule it as an inside the parker?

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It's a dinger*

Don’t talk that way about Wrigley North

If they wanted to be Wrigley North, they wouldn't become dome babies.

You’re not exactly Mr Current Events, are you?

STOLEN BASE SCHWARBER

SCHWARBER WITH THE SPEED

it was a wild pitch though

Cubs gotta hope Schwarber doesn't quit the team to try out for the 2020 Olympics.

>SHIT STADIUM DESIGN YOU GOT HERE BOORS.
This is a super funny thing for someone with the literal worse stadium in baseball, so bad that everyone would rather drive to the next city and watch a road game, to say. Also it makes no sense

Fuck Fuck if the Cubs win I'm gonna have a brain aneurysm this losing streak is all I have.

schwarbie!

LUDICROUS SPEED

ALMORA GETS INTO THE GAME WITH A BASE HIT AND SCHWARBER'S AGGRESSIVE BASE RUNNING GETS HIM HOME

6-2

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schwarbie wheels!

Cubs fans just want to see as many games that the cubbies play in as possible. And it's not like the broors have a fanbase to buy those tickets.

Spoiler that shit future man!

ALMORA WITH A STOLEN BASE AND ADVANCES TO 3RD ON AN ERROR

The GIDP is off the table!

The brewers have insanely good ticket sales and fan support for a city that size.

>Let's go Cubbies!
>Let's go Cubbies!
>Let's go Cubbies!
What fan support

Gotta tack on a few more runs here for the inevitable bullpen blowup

>Heyward batting well

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Arcia fucking sucks at tagging.

Do you understand what fan support even means? Brewers fans cannot stop other cities fans from traveling here, and we don't blame you for wanting to. Doesn't change the fact that the Brewers consistently have better attendance than teams in much larger cities. Milwaukee is the single smallest market in baseball but still gets excellent attendance
Which is especially crazy considering how bad the Brewers were historically

wtf i love heyward now

Heyward with 2, TWO stolen bases tonight!

HEYWARD!!

>Bases loaded for Hammels
Come on Hammels get a grand slam,

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BASES JUICED

more ass blasted than JJBA

my oh my have the tables done turned

Sac fly for Hammels to score Almora, Heyward moves to third.
7-2

Need a few more runs

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I would drive to Miller Park too if fucking Wrigley was my home stadium

Do something Descalso

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too bad >we're still 1-6 (maybe 2-6). looks good though

They installed urinals for pussies like you.

I think I figured out why Kris Bryant's name starts with a K.

No slip n slide at MP?

um, good?

BANG
BANG
BANG

PULL MY DEVIL TRIGGER

Wisconsin is filled with people self conscious about their tiny dicks and like long bathroom lines

Will the bullpen hold?

No?

twitter.com/MLB/status/1114694927945031680
This is going to give me a chuckle for a while

You know modern stadiums just build sufficient bathrooms and then lines are not a problem. Miller Park is definitely not know for long bathroom lines

Maybe, let's assume they have one clean inning. But for the other two, they give up at least 2 walks and 2 home runs. That leaves a 1 run cushion for whatever else happens.

CLICC CLICC PULL

People in Wisconsin objectively have larger penises than people from Illinois

>When the bragging point for a stadium is where people shit
Miller Poo!

lmao everyone just gave up on trying cause they thought it was OOTP

ehhhhh not fully. I expect them to give up at least 2 runs

Use the trough then tiny dick

HOL UP HOL UP so edwards was the cub jinx or did the others get scare they would be next to be shipped to the minors. this is not the same team

>Hammels with another 1-2-3
I say leave him out there until he feels he's gassed given the bullpen.

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haha what? you bought it up because you were proud of Wrigley's toughs

It is the same team, maybe aside from a quality start. The bullpen isn't in yet.

>designated shitting rooms

The funny thing is Cain had 6 errors at Miller Park last year, and Baez caused half of them, all them resulted in him scoring.

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You're the one who's jealous of them.

of the troughs?

fuck this guy

schwarbie!

Base hit for Schwarber!
>Call it an error
Bullshit

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This is the REAL Cubs. You're fucked now sewers.

>Almora getting destroyed by the slider
Baez needs to talk with him.

>Bullpen up
>3 innings left
>5 run lead
Hang on to your butts.

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the only question is if 5 runs will be enough for this bullpen

i'm thinking no

All these drug commercials are giving me the heebie jeebies.

THROW STRIKES!

We’ll know when Pu pitches again.

>Take that you pete davidson look alike!

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>That strike
I guess the Brewers ran out of money

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>Getting a new back
CHECK IT FOR CORK!

>Pitching change with men on first and second
It begins...

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wft allen webster who

hmm, this Kyle Ryan character has a sweet breaking ball. decent outing.

>troughs are based and you're a liberal who hates tradition if you prefer to "pee" in a urinal
I bet y'all would break down crying at the sight of a squat toilet

HRaun

and so it beginning again

Check him for steroids.

It's a baseball stadium in a world class city, not a cabin in the woods.

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That was an awkward swing and he still got a home run?
Are the balls even more juiced than normal?

>Ryan Fraud celebrating as if his team has the lead
gosh, what a homosexual

Good thing they scored some runs before the bullpen came in

webstie!

Just a known cheater leaf.

>>

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Yeah, it's the balls that are juiced, not the guy swinging the bat.

12up.com/posts/6337764-study-shows-mlb-baseballs-are-still-juiced-and-that-s-a-good-thing

Heyward finally got his first check.

mfw heyward

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>heyward
lel... what?

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THANK YOU HEYWARD WITH ANOTHER SOLO SHOT
8-5

First 2 homer game as a Cub.
WE NEED MORE RUNS

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I can’t believe I’m saying it, but BASED HEYWARD

JA-SON *clap* *clap*

HEY-WARD *clap* *clap*

JA-SON HEY-WARD *clap* *clap* *clap*

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the balls are juiced
literally no doubting it this series

here we go heywie here we go

>Top of the order is up with 2 on, no outs.
Please hit something...

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cam on cubbers score sum fookin runs

>heyward
The old man did good.

>okay boys, the bullpen is up, so we need another *checks notes* 8 runs.

>Bases loaded
>No outs
>Bryant up
>Has 3 strike outs.
Time for redemption or a sombrero.

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I think I figured out why Kris Bryant's name starts with a K.

>Calling that check swing a strike
The fix is in

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Bryant what is happening to you?

>Special K

Jason Heyward is 3 for 3, with 2 home runs, a walk and 2 stolen bases.

BASED RIZZO

Kris Bryant is 0 for 5 with 4 Ks

RIZZO WITH A DOUBLE TO SCORE CARATINI AND ZOBRIST DESCALSO TO THIRD
10-5

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I see what you did there...backward is forward

Heyward used voodoo to steal Bryant's mojo

dat catcher mask is scaring me

>Not a single pitch in the zone
FEAR BAEZ
Bases loaded for Bote!

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the tv just showed a black man with him kids enjoying a ball game why

What timeline am I in?

never forget

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now this is insurance

>BOTE! you're a life sized minor leauger
Is this what Wisconsin considers as banter?

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>base-clearing double

is the what les Illinoise regard as a rebuttal?

scuba

BASES CLEARING DOUBLE BY BOTE!
13-5

>Baez base running rightt behind Rizzo
That was great

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I like you leaf, you can stay.

Time to see if Heyward can ride these juiced balls for a three homer night.

holy shit there are 0 brewers fans in that stadium

OKAY, we got an 8 run lead with 6 outs left.
In theory that's enough, but this is the cubs bullpen.

WE NEED MORE RUNS

8 runs, 6 outs, maybe the bullpen can do it

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Literally cannot get enough runs to solidify the win

CARATINI WITH A BASE HIT TO SCORE BOTE. Heyward advances to 3rd.
14-5

Victor and Heyward remain perfect tonight.

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The Cubs broadcast showed all the Boors 'fans' fleeing after Rizzo's hit.
Gotta beat that Wisconsin organ cone laden traffic.

this 2016 offense is making me cream my pants

>Watch him go, you know one more stride and he would have slapped him on the back 'You're it!'

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[ the oddball screeching intensifies]

this 2018 bullpen is pissing me off

typo, 2019*

The early 2018 bullpen was pretty good. The starters shitting the bed and Maddon pulling them early when they were doing alright was what destroyed it.

>tfw Theo Epstein agologizes

sorry it was a typo

Anyone else notice when the Cubs are winning and the shitposters flee, these gamethreads are really comfy?

no

>back to back walks
Please stop

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yes

kek you dudes told me lelbitch was good

Why aren’t you an ump user?

Just five more outs.

B A J P
u n a u
t a c s
t, l, k s
o y
f f
f a
r
t

>Giving up another 3 run homer
How can the bullpen be this awful?

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Get him out of there

How was that a homerun? Did it hit the roof or something?

>cubs

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They should move the blue jays to Montreal and rename them the Expos.

>tfw your team has to put up double-digit runs to stand a chance

>Yelshit the rally killer

it's a meme stadium where there's a giant wall right behind the fence so a lot of times a home run will just bounce off the wall and come back onto the field.

Sure. Why not?

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desu epstein better be on the phone with multiple organizations and offering blowies for bullpen help

He needs the Ricketts to open up the wallet, to sign some free agents, everyone was saying the bullpen was the cubs #1 issue and they did nothing to address it.

>Brewers throwing at Cubs heads
Stay classsy pissconsin

they're already the second highest payroll in the game

they stayed in the harper sweepstakes way too long and couldn't get relievers, so instead they got nothing

>This 'banter' against Rizzo

Im okay with this

they have the money to spend, even though theyre above the first luxury tax threshold they still have something like $25 million before the next one (which does shit like drop your top draft pick down 10 spots...)
thats enough to sign a few pitchers, including Kimbrel if you give him a one year deal
what im thinking is the FO wants to save in order to dish out extensions to Bryant, Baez, Rizzo, etc.

And? They can go full Yankees for all I care, the owners are billionaires.

I couldn't hear it, what were they saying?

>Bottom of the 9th
>6 run lead
>Bullpen has given up a 3 run homer in the last 2 innings.
Hang on to your butts.

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>You suck
>You're stupid
Multiply by hundred

lol

Cishek!
Worth
Every
Penny!

[W]
Still problems with the bullpen, but the bats powered through.

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gg >broors see ya tomorrow

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Finally

No[W] That's [W]hat I Call Baseball Vol. 19

onto another slugfest tomorrow, and hopefully >our first series win

Woke CWEP poster.

FLY THAT DUBYA

I feel a bit bad for Caratini, he was beastly with the bat, but still got overshadowed by Heyward.
But as Heyward was saying, it's a team effort.

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>feel asleep
>wake up
>W

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We need you to stay asleep for every Cubs game.

This post aged poorly

I just watched the game, Aguilar didn't just graze Caratini's glove, he got the whole thing, that drag is going to reduce the power of the bat and considering he got all of it, if the mitt wasn't there, Aguilar is going deep.