/bundes/

PLEASE buy our boys

We already bought all of them, there is no one left.

>Bei der Trainersuche des FC Schalke für die Nachfolge von Interimslösung Huub Stevens führt laut Informationen von „Sky Sport News“ eine Spur zu Zeljko Buvac. Der 57-jährige Bosnier, der 1991 als Spieler in den deutschen Profifußball wechselte, ist vor allem aufgrund seiner Tätigkeit als Co-Trainer von Jürgen Klopp bekannt. Mit dem 51-Jährigen arbeitete Buvac in Mainz, Dortmund und beim FC Liverpool zusammen.
lalolam

I firmly believe that Der Klassiker is the biggest match and most intense rivalry in German soccer.

t. american casual

>Bayer-Angreifer Leon Bailey (21, Foto) soll im Fokus von Inter Mailand stehen.

>Chelsea transfer news: Mason Mount could leave Blues for RB Leipzig, admits Frank Lampard

The Dortmund - Bayern rivalry is on a different level than Dortmund - Schalke or Bayern - 60. Those are based mainly on geographic location. Hence, those are the actual Derbies in the traditional sense.
Especially, when looking on Dortmund - Schalke, you will notice that their supporters are basically the same: working class people of the Ruhr area. So their rivalry is basically "we them because they are like us" (in addition to that they are nearly from the same region).
If you look at the Bayern - 60 rivalry, there are quite some differences because the 60 supporter are the urban inhabitants of the city Munich, while the Bayern supporters are more of the suburbs of/around Munich and the country side of Bavaria. Still, the rivalry stagnated from a sportical point of view because 60 are a 3rd tier team now, so there is actually no way for Bayern to win this pairing.

The rivalry between Bayern and Dortmund is different because it originates from the fact that they are by far the two strongest teams of recent times. Yet the hatret is also fired by historical social/economical/political differences. It's North Germany vs South Germany, Prussia vs. Bavaria, poor working class vs. cosmopolitan yuppies, tradition vs. money, football sport vs. football business.
I agree with the other user on that the brand "Der Klassiker" is kinda fake since this rivalry essentially only exists from the mid 90s onwards and the name was only chosen to get the same attention that the "Classico" in Spain gets. Which on the other side is quite fitting since the rivalry of Madrid - Barca is similar for it's not based on geographic location but more differences in lifestyle: State founnded vs. People's founded, monarchistic vs. sepparatistic etc. and same as Bayern-Dortmund those also form the the two strongest teams of their respective country.

>>Bayer-Angreifer Leon Bailey (21, Foto) soll im Fokus von Inter Mailand stehen.
good

>>Chelsea transfer news: Mason Mount could leave Blues for RB Leipzig, admits Frank Lampard
wth? he's shit

So, in conclusion: there are many reason for naming this the biggest rivalry in german football but, yeah, "Der Klassiker" blows balls since this was made up far more recently than the rivalry actually existed. Personally I don't use this because it's artificail in style and also doesn't really name the subject. Somewhere in english speaking media I heard the term "German National Derby" which is far more accurate since the use of the word Derby is according to it's meaning when talking about an Germany as an entity and it males you aware of the fact that this is the single match that is the most important in Germany.

NEger I'm from NRW with strong ties into the pott and I haven't met anyone irl who reads that much shit into that stupid match as you do.
thanks for reading

>nrw
stopped reading there

rude

nice digits

>I'm from NRW
maybe if you wouldn't be from there you would know that a fair amount of people who are from neither of those regions DO actually show interest in this match, in numbers that does not apply for any other pairing aithout a team of this specific region.

>the two most sucessful teams attract the most viewers
no shit

Guy from Northern Germany here (no, not Dortmund, which you called Northern Germany for some contrived reason), and yes, people care about that game. But mostly because you either love or hate Bayern (most hate them) and because Dortmund is fairly popular. But it has nothing to do with any shitty lifestyle or politics or whatever. People wanna see Bayern lose and Dortmund is the most likely candidate to beat them, that is it.

Hello

>mostly because you either love or hate Bayern
true

>People wanna see Bayern lose and Dortmund is the most likely candidate to beat them, that is it.
also true

However: that his has nothing to do with lifestyle is precisely true.
A jobless person from Saxony who was one of the three in four who lost their job after their VEB was sold to a company from Bavaria and shut down and is living now from hartz, is more likely to sympathise with Dortmund rather than the business makers from the south who seek contact to corporatists and political figures while buying a season ticket to visit only 4-5 top matches and spend the rest of the year runting about lazy Ossies who are too incompetent to work so they have to found them via Länderfinanzausgleich by their tax money

hey ;)

>der klassiker
more like "pest gegen cholera"
like and subscribe if you agree

+1

But all of Germany is ranting about lazy Ossies all the damn time. It's not a distinctly Bavaryan thing.
You have some points in there that make some sense on some level, but you apply them in such a contrived, needle eye focused way just to construct your little story about how Bayern vs Dortmund is about German culture.
Please stop.

you watch the efl?

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Hamburg signed some fullback from St. Pauli

Is the xG guy here? Hit me with the xG values please, I need to know whether Dortmund stands a chance.

xGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

no, but I watched the cup game vs southampton and he was terrible.

Welcome to HSV - Alex Meier HD | Amazing goals and skills 19/20

Dont mock the pillar of scientific and statistical certainty that is xG. Without xG we would still be apes flinging turds.

>for some contrived reason
You mean the geographic, historical and cultural reasons? Always a laugh when fishfuckers get offended over their own lack of Basiswissen.

Are you fucking retarded? Have you ever even looked on a map?? Dortmund, or any of NRW for that matter are in no way in the north of Germany. The north ends with Hanover and even that’s a stretch.

>we would still be apes flinging turds
So normal football fans?

he's probably just baiting

No one in the Pott identifies with the fucking Northern German Confederation, and just because they use the latin word for Prussia in their club name doesn't mean Dortmund culture has any representative function for anyone outside of Dortmund.
German culture is way too fractured and way too much about local identity to be summed up in some simplistical dualism that existed less than a century, and more than a century ago.

>muh North/South
everyone knows that central germany is best germany

For Bavarians, anything above the Weißwurstäquator is north.

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BUT WE IZ PRUSSIANS N SHEET

*throws shit*

>he doesn't fling turds
What are you even doing?

>The north ends with Hanover and even that’s a stretch.
Braunschweig BTFO!

Braunschweig is almost a third closer to Leipzig than it is to Kiel.

Does Braunschweig really see itself as "northern german"? I mean, sure, Niedersachsen is northern, but mostly because of Ostfriesland, Bremen and Lüneburg. No one really identifies with "Niedersachsen" at large.

>German culture is way too fractured and way too much about local identity to be summed up in some simplistical dualism
lol depending on how you break the data down and how you define common cultural aspects. You could also tell there is no Bavarian culture because they are also cultural differences between region within Bavaria.
And if you take it too literally, you will find that every Kaff in Bavaria has it's unique style of raping their cousins. Apllying the rule too strictly would mean that every one of these Kaffs, and every Hof has it's own culture. But this doesn't mean that Oberhinterschnatterhausen hasn't more in common with Unterurselpoppenstedt than with Berlin.

Speaking of Hannover
>Thomas Doll bleibt Trainer in Hannover - zumindest bis Saisonende. Seine Aufstellung frei bestimmen kann er aber offenbar nicht mehr, und dafür sorgt der Verein selbst .
>Am Donnerstag hatte Thomas Doll noch von seiner Jobgarantie bis Saisonende gesprochen. Darüber, dass er in Hannover hingegen offenbar nicht mehr frei entscheiden kann, hatte der kicker (Donnerstags-Ausgabe) am selben Tag bereits exklusiv berichtet. Aus England war durchgesickert, dass der Tabellenletzte den Londonern signalisierte, ab sofort auf die Dienste seines Japaners Takuma Asano, Leihgabe vom FC Arsenal, verzichten zu wollen. Hintergrund: Mit dem nächsten Spiel des 24-Jährigen für die Niedersachsen aktiviert sich gemäß einer komplizierten Einsatzregelung eine bindende Kauf-Klausel, nach der 96 den Spieler für die festgeschriebene Summe von 3,5 Millionen Euro verpflichten müsste.
>Jetzt bestätigte Martin Kind den Grund, weshalb sich Arsenal mächtig über den deutschen Vertragspartner empört hatte. Das Spielverbot für Asano "ist schriftlich hinterlegt", sagte der Geschäftsführer der "Neuen Presse" in Hannover. Nach weitergehenden kicker-Informationen gibt es zu der internen Sperre einen entsprechenden Beschluss des Aufsichtsrates der von Kind geführten Profi-KG in Hannover, der den sportlichen Verantwortlichen, Doll und Manager Horst Heldt, bereits übermittelt worden sein soll.
>Dass Trainer Doll bei einer theoretisch noch bestehenden Chance auf Rettung nun aus wirtschaftlichen Erwägungen - und offenbar sportlichen Zweifeln der Kontrolleure - Handlungsgrenzen gesetzt werden, ist derweil ein vielsagendes Politikum. "Für die Aufstellung und die Kaderzusammenstellung bin ich zuständig. Mehr sage ich dazu nicht", hatte der 52-Jährige noch am Donnerstag, angesprochen auf die Causa Asano, ausdrücklich betont.

Of curse those lower cucks (Braunschweig) wants to be one of us superior Northern German masterracers (Hannover here btw).

You don't even speak plattdütsch, how are you Northern German?
I like your central station though, you have a great meat shop there. I keep going for some Leberkäse when driving through to visit my friend in Göttingen.

You are not wrong, but again taking things way out of context. Of course there are cultural groups in Germany. But the Ruhrpott is different from the Rheinland is different from Berlin is different from Sachsen is different from the Norf, all without being in any way similar to Bayern. Just because Prussia was a thing once doesn't mean Bayern vs Dortmund is a duel of North vs South.

Dis

Wurst Basar is based af
There’s also one along the Lister Meile

fuck Thorsten (aka Torben (aka Tom))

Thorsten is lowkey elite
Tom is unironically mentally ill

>travel from Münsterland to München
>get unironically called Saupreis quite a few times
>getting denied to identify as a Preuße
>tfw

tom is mentally ill. he lurks here 24/7 and posts under different egos. tom, torben, thorsten are only a few

>expecting common sense from bavarians
the joke's on you

You serious about that Torben thing? I was just making a shitty coldmirror reference up there.

The north is and always was the settlement regions of the northernmost German tribes, the saxons. These areas are Westphalia, Angria, Eastphalia, North-Albingia and the March of the Billungs. Even in the earliest sources from pre-Ottonian times Dortmund is mentioned as a southern landmark of the Westphalian parts of Saxony. It lies in the north German plain, part of the north european plain and it was also member of the Hansa like many cities and town of inland Lower Germany. The Low German language which stems from Saxon is still spoken in many parts your feeble mind would not consider northern. NRW is a makeshift state constructed by allied forces for economical and administrative purposes like many others. The opinions of a bunch of butthurt dyke dwellers fearing for their status as special snowflakes do not negate historic, geographic and linguistic facts.

is this some pasta I'm not aware off?

It's Basiswissen you were not aware of, educationlet.

the mutt is out against leverkusen.

It helps no one to be this reductive, Jesus Christ.

sure

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damn i hoped that he would get fit in time

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>northern Germany means the saxons
user, what the fuck are you even doing? Seriously. Take a step back and ask yourself: "What point am I trying to make right now?"
Remember that this was originally about Bayern vs Dortmund.

>MainzZz vs Freiburg

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good god man

Based facts man

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>lowkey
Nigga he the reason

>Delets post

What did thorsten meant by this?

>Hamza Mendyl spielt in Stevens' Planungen bis auf Weiteres keine Rolle mehr. Er wurde in die U23 versetzt. "Eine disziplinarische Maßnahme", erläuterte Stevens, der Mitte März - eine seiner ersten strengen Amtshandlungen - schon Nabil Bentaleb zum Oberliga-Team abgeschoben hatte.
And Uth is ded

>schalke

>der Klassiker
Cringe

my concern is that when Stevens dispels the Affenzirkus he can actually un>schalke the club in the long term

true

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can they even field 11 players without Affenzirkus?

strong

>my concern is that when X does Y he can actually un>schalke the club in the long term
hearing that for as long as I can remember

why does everybody assume >Schalke has a good squad that should compete for the CL spots? Just because of the fluked 2nd place last season?

Where are those xG numbers at?

Who assumed that?

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I just hope that schalke becomes the new Schießbude of the liga so based Nübel can become the next Neuer.

>taper ici pour rechercher
cute

I have Schalke getippt on 2nd place again. Fucking dumb. I thought Sané and Uth were good additions to the squad and saw no reason why they won't be Glücksritter again. Happy that I was wrong, though. Squad looks like trash.

I meant for the game.

>T. Nigger

^makes no sense at all

not yet. hence all schalke fans can hope for is for Stevens to get back some discipline in the suqad.

>hearing that for as long as I can remember
yeah but think of it when >schalke suddenly stops to spend their money for mental or factual niggers and Buyern rejects.

I certainly don't. But when they are willing and able to spend up to 30m for a single player, they couldmat some point start to sign good players.

Fatty is unironically the worst poster on 4channel

>Fatty is unironically the worst poster on 4channel
>T. nigger

100% true though

this! coming from tom (actually not tom)

Schalke's problem is that their 2 best players left for free in the summer. Then they paid 10-15 million for fucking Rudya and voila, no chance. Add some prima donnas in the squad, add the loss of respect for their coach and thats what you get. A 20 year old Swiss talent is their best player.

>A 20 year old Swiss talent is their best player.
i thought mckennie was their best player

not tom managed to be just as annoying as tom, leading me to think that not tom is actually just proxy tom.

Who could schalke hire to unjust themselves?

heiko herrlich

Embolo

me

Hecking

Dominico Tedesco

>@HSV Wir verpflichten Jeremy #Dudziak Der 23-jährige Mittelfeldspieler wechselt zur kommenden Saison in den #Volkspark und unterschreibt einen Drei-Jahres-Vertrag
>Meine Mutter ist Pauli-Fan
St Pauli BTFO

KC plant

you might not like it but this is how peak football experience looks like

also stop talking shit about the CEO of /bundes/.

>""DER"" """"KLASSIKER""""
When the fuck did "they" even start that meme?
Spain (and Catalonia) may genuinely have one, Germany (and Bavaria) do not.

That said, I have read this was supposedly the 100th match between Dortmund und Buyern.
Surely that's only considering Bundesliga matches, right?

But I'm the /bundes/ CEO

>he hasnt read the memo
/bundes/ has been purchased by an american investor group

/bundes/ isn't a LLC, Inc., or corp.

withdraw immediately your false claims or I'll file a lawsuit

>calling your own mother a dumb whore
uhm

Well considering that the BL is roughly 50 years old and Dortmund/Bayern didnt always play BL, then yes Id say only BL games.

Who are you

me

meme

mememe

memememe

/bundes/
Home of the Lappen-Lads

>/bundes/ """""""""""""""humor"""
krinsch

>krinsch
>/bundes/ """""""""""""""humor"""

all I hope for is another little maymay from tomorrow

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rude

mememememe

Me the lead investor

ruderuderuderude

memememememe

>this thread
kringel

you mean grasshoppers - zürich tomorrow?

i, for one, am satisfied with the new leadership under mr. burger

I for one am proud to participate in hq bundes posting

*waits*

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bundes is shit

that's why you're in here

nö

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fun fact: you need a +140 intelligants quotient to understand /bundes/ in all its glory

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i agree

Post other 140+ I images

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>darkgamer76

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THICC

/bundes/ is fucking shit and barely the 4th best league in Europe

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Is an horse an defender?

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How do you pronounce horse? 'orse?

Ich bleib dabei, dass "Pinienapfel" ein schöneres Wort ist als Ananas.

>evil—denmark is here
ugh

now one beesting

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UGH

>Ich bleib dabei, dass "Pinienapfel" ein schöneres Wort ist als Ananas.
Ich mag meine Ananässer.

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oke dann mach ich Anna nass

Yussuf Yurary, standing fourth from the left
Hojbjerg kneeling first from left
Zohore (Cardiff) standing second from left.

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Never met a Dortmund fan who does not hate Bauern with burning passion. Der Klassiker is indeed very much relevant and anyone who says otherwise is a boring contrarian or an edgelord nihilist

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>"coherent belief"

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*kneels*

so he will leave 100%

Everyone besides Bochum hates Bayern.

yeah right. he's not sticking around with your baileys and tahs if brandt leaves

Thief

this

No. Horse.

dumber's kuchen are allgemeingut du huso

To be fair, noone hated Bayern before 2013. In January 2013, Dortmund and Bayern were competing and both of them had great teams with great managers. Most fans in Germany were excited that a second team was going to challenge for the title from now onward.

Then both Bayern and Dortmund made it into the semis. Then Dortmund and Bayern make it into the final. And then? Bayern had been secretely meeting with Götze and basically told him to renew his contract, so he could build in an exit clause, which would allow them to immediately trigger his clause.

But that wasnt enough, they announced these news before the CL final. That wasnt just a dirty trick, it was beyond "fuck you". Götze back then was the center piece of Dortmund. The team was built around him.

But that wasnt enough. They had also met with Lewandowski during the exact same time and told him that they wanted him and he shouldnt sign a new contract with Dortmund. So he refused to be sold to English teams or Real. He refused to extend his contract and then he went to Bayern for free.

Now, back to your statment about "hate". One thing is to disliking a team, another entirely to "hate" the way a club fucks over the league at the slightest sign of permanent competition. Then only to turn around and complain that the BL isnt competitive.

Add to that how unbelievably arrogant their management/players are. Add to that how the DFB and FCB work in collusion that only FCB players get an automatic callup and every single Dortmund fan now hates Bayern.

>tl;dr
>Noone hated Bayern before 2013 in Dortmund

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Would FC Ruhrstadt be a top European club?

de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ruhrstadt

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nö, it would just be Dortmund

+ Embolo

Then why "an"

Why is Bergisch Gladbach so elite?

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bergisch_Gladbach#Born_in_Bergisch_Gladbach

>.de.vu
*sips*

it isn't
t. born and raised in schäbbisch jläbbisch

"Hey, we got so much literal faeces in one single place! Let's put it all together, that will turn all that shit into literal diamonds!"

There is nothing worth of note except for Dortmund as far as football goes at the moment.
A lot of clubs even have "their town" shoulder their debts.

what are the difference between north german, middle german, south german(bavarian) and swiss german?

based, based, inbreed, based

Schöner Tuntenroman.

Still bullshit, though.

>Tim Wiese, Hummels, Karolin Kebekus, Heidi Klum
wtf I hate this town now

this but the opposite (except buyern fans)

i know some bavarians and they are cute women

also they usually have brown hair and brown eyes or am i wrong? some are blondes and/or some are blue-eyed(oh blue eyed brunettes) but percentage of brown eyed brown haired is higher there than in other german parts? are they of balkan/dinarid blood?

But I hated Bayern well before that. They have a long history of pulling stuff like that. They did a similar thing with Klose ten years ago.

see

bavarians? more like barbarians lmao

who said that incest cannot produce attractive women? it's only that those women are raised to love their daddy

yes uplandbatzis are barely white

This. Klose, Borowski, Ballsack, Lucio, Hashemian, Schlaudraff and so on and so on...

>boris is in bundes now

Time for leave

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yeah we dont need another cold war here

>close hasn't played since 2016
>it's 2019 now
wait what the fuck ;_;

Thank you based boris whoever you are

Way too complex to properly explain. It's like asking what is the difference between a person from Moscow and a person from Vladivostok - after all, they are both Russians!

>midul germany
>based
why

are they more prude and less promiscious?

so are they more racist and less into refugees/turks/mixing/welcoming stuff?

>To be fair, noone hated Bayern before 2013
nigga wut?

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so should i look up the archives of /bundes/ threads to see more of rarely seen tennis pics?

also are Bavarian women looking like Petkovic Andrea?

okay, start with swiss and bavarians

lmao Boicum are the biggest cucks known to men. how can you build your entire existance around being Buyern's little fuckboi?
No wonder Herbert Grönemeyer is there unofficial spokesman.

boris blyad do huja)))

>also are Bavarian women looking like Petkovic Andrea?

only the ones named Gavranovic, Stepanovic, Suljovic, Dragovic, Arnautovic etc.

Yeah, it's the dumbest shit I've read all day. Hell, when Pep became the Bayern coach in 2013 they played the best football in decades and the hate was slowly declining.

>so are they more racist and less into refugees/turks/mixing/welcoming stuff?
they don't care as long as there are enough crucifix and lederhosen aka muh bavarian culture

I don't know nearly enough about Swiss history to answer that question properly, but I doubt that could be done justice in a 1000 character post anyway.
They are two distinct people with their own culture, history, political system, etc.

stop the reddit style posting thanks

>he doesn't rate Hebert Grönemeyer
He is the best German singer/songwriter and he can't even sing.

>northern germans, middle germans
>gemütlich, funny, beloved accents, friends for life, great at reading the room and engage everyone in having interesting converstations
>drink proper alcohol but never get into fights (only when absolutely necessary)

>southern germans
>sheep shaggers, accent hated by everyone, talk behind your back, no real friends only colleagues, only engage with other people in clubs, """german humour""
>drink beer and start insulting people (but never actually get into fights, rather spit at people)

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>he's the smartest troglodyte
>he's the tallest midget
>he's the manliest Sören

Can't claim to have ever noticed this IRL, but this meme makes its rounds.
I'm North of the line, and say "ich" anyway.

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the absolute farmland of bavaria

I think the line is inaccurate. Where exactly are you from?

Bundesligameistertrainer

Udo Lattek 8
Ottmar Hitzfeld 7
Hennes Weisweiler 4
Jupp Heynckes 4
Pep Guardiola 3
Felix Magath 3
Otto Rehagel 3

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do Ruhrpottler say ik?

Love this style of posting - more!

based Ottmar needs to coach the NT already, he will make us a Rumpelfußball Turniermannschaft again, no Soja Lattes for Hummels either.

we rhinelanders say isch or sometimes use the third form (m'r) instead of ich.

hmmm......

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Give it to me straight.
Does based GLUBB still have chance to stayin in league of first Bundes futte de balle?

If they beat Stuttgart this weekend, yes.

Hab einen Furunkel am Arsch. Freue mich schon wenn der ewig reif ist zum ausdrücken :3

bayrisches-woerterbuch.de/i/

>eberl getting promoted
>rose as new manager
>schröder from mainz and boldt from leverkusen might join the new shuffled management

Gladbach is gonna win next year. Time to bet everything on them!

Who does /bundes/ want to get relegated more,
Shittgart or >GLUBB?

But Janine Flock?

>no real friends only colleagues
does it mean bavarian girls are virgins until 25-30(first husband)?

n0n, they're simply too bad and there's no hope

seeing shitgard go down would be funny, giving all their talk about securing an EL spot at the beggining of the season.

Bavaria is refugee central nowadays, girls probably "lose" their virginity by the age of 12, although they also did so back in the days when their first partner was most likely cousin Alois and now it's Mgubu from "Syria".

I'm leaving /bundes/
now

Hope you forgot a comma there ;_;

oge bis dann :D

so do girls in north lose virginity at age of 25?

it's really amazing how the most arrogant state that is constantly acting like it's about to secede was really just empty farmland before all relevant parts of Germany were firebombed in 1945. pathetic.

which part of they fuck their brothers, fathers, cousins, sons etc did you not understand.

>Hamburg, Bremen and Berlin contributing twice as much to the economy as mighty Bavaria

OH NONONONONO

Franconia is based tßh.

But yeah, Bavaria was nothing more than a sheep shagging paradise before millions of germans from czechia and prussia moved there. Leipzig, Dresden, Berlin and Prague powered by Silesian coal were the powerhouse of central europe. Bavaria not being an utter shithole is historically unprecedented.

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and then...
...SPD

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imagine not being from northern Germany

quality post

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WER IST WISMUT AUE
WIR SIND WISMUT AUE

>[explosions]
>[children screaming]
could be a great mobie

>muh port merchants
now Saxony, THAT's a Freistaat

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It helps no one to be reductive.

>not being a Hanseat
*spit*

The SPD was a decent party. It's really a shame what has happened to them since Lafontaine.
SPD/CDU/AfD/Grüne/FDP/Linke are all unwählbar.
It's all the same shit in different shades of brown and pink.

>Die Jugend geht nicht auf die Straße.
"Was fällt diesen politikverdrossenen Faulpelzen ein! Unsere Demokratie ist ohne sie verloren!"
>Die Jugend geht auf die Straße.
"Die haben keine Ahnung. Schon gar nicht von diesen Komputärn. Das ist UNSER Neuland."

I'm not quite sure what will happen in May, but it probably won't be good.

she have no cousins and seems shy and good from her social networks
she is not from munich, but small village by the lake 60km from munich

>1849
>4 economic cycles ago

i bimms net gwesn

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Lieber Schmarotzer als Nazi

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>t. schreibänn nahch gehöhr zoomer worried about the maymays
if only you knew how bad things really are

(You) know what to do.

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4 economy cycles ago Africa was a shithole

sach mal ist FAS inzwischen eigentlich pflicht für alle schwachköpfe die mal ins fernsehen wollen?

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>guy is wearing a hoodie on all pictures
Why are the Randparteien full of weirdos? Even cringier than the pirate who wore a Bandana and a Blaumann

>t. "Ich-wähl-den-mit-den-schönsten-Wahlplakaten"-Landei

Makes him stick out. Being noticable is publicity, and every publicity is good publicity.

neh aber nicht behindert zu sein ist schon ein bonus, kevin

It's ridiculous how tempting it is to vote for him, but I'd prefer not throwing my vote away for a slim hope of getting a laugh or two out of him in the next 5 years.

I have a relative from "generation alpha", and he has decent orthography skills.
It's not as bad as you think it is. Thankfully.

Nigger literally killed his fuckboi to death and than carried the corpse through half Berlin.

Wearing a Blaumann wasn't the weirdest part of this by far.

>unsere schwerpunkte? memes, netzfreiheit und genderaufklärung!

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>throwing in Netzfreiheit with two stupid points to make it appear equally unimportant
Propaganda 101, I see through your methods, my man.

>dortmund will have to play fatze vs bayern
lmao
best to go false 9 reus.

Ich geh dann mal zum Fußballtraining, mir meinen Bänderriss abholen.

ach neini

Holy fuck, I remember when this lad was at Lanz when Piraten were still relevant. They fucking bantered him all night long because he is some weirdo polyamorous cuckold and LITERALLY a Hartzer.

What were Piraten thinking? Wasn't following politics back then.

Mainzzz vs. Freiburg

Now that's a proper Freitagabendspiel.

It's extra boring so you can go out and do stuff and meet people instead of sitting at home watching football on a friday night.

yeah they are almost as successful in doing this as Die PARTEI

This x1000

>What were Piraten thinking? Wasn't following politics back then.
They were 100% uneingeschränkte Meinungsfreiheit and Persönlichkeitsrechte and turn to 100% uneingeschränkte Meinungsfreiheit and Persönlichkeitsrechte aber nicht für Nadsis.

And yet, I will still watch it
;__;

>3/8
What did he mean by this

Stay hydrated, user.

basically muh Vorratsdatenspeicherung and muh free öffentlicher nahverkehr. so 0 reason to vote for them unless you're a useless student.

more like at least 5/8

This af

In Stuttgart geboren um für den VfB zu sterben.

Swabians are honorary Northerners.

Swabians are honorary Jews.

Bayern's schedule is harder than Dortmunds. Even if they win they can still lose the title

Drinking as much beer as I can to vomit it all over the non-north plebs

Beer does the opposite of hydrating you.
Anyway, what beer are you drinking?

Not wrong. The paper clip was invented when a Swabian and Jew tried to pick up the same penny from the ground.

They're back :)

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Show us your feet.

Show us your penis.

Just got Carolina Reaper powder into my eyes

My eyes aren't working, could you describe the picture to me?

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It’s a picture taken from my bedroom through the doors to my balcony where two birbs are sitting on the handrail.

Wow, must be a great view. I remember enjoying looking at birds when I still had my eyesight.

>Carolina Reaper in Augen

Ja, ne, weißte ... Heng dich weg.

bist ein dummer hurensohn spreng dich weg

hahaha bruder bist du knast oder was #freedenmark

>tfw my screenreader is hurling slurs at me
Who's posting this? STOP THAT!

abloo bloo googoo gaga

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Based wagenknecht poster

>Based wagenknecht poster

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Yeah, she's okay... but let's not forget that Gregor Gysie was the best politician the Linke ever had. Fact.

Mochs bein breit, Ösi-Dreck

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>Yeah, she's okay... but let's not forget that Gregor Gysie was the best politician the Linke ever had. Fact.

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>Mochs bein breit, Ösi-Dreck

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Are we watching Vestergaard and Hojbjerg (c) against Kloppo tonight

no we are making fun about deutsche sojajungen

>Linke

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>Dortmunds Paco Alcácer steht laut "Bild" nicht im 18-köpfigen Aufgebot für das Bundesligaspiel gegen den FC Bayern. Zuletzt klagte der Angreifer über eine Armverletzung.

scheise

>fußball
>arm verletzt
>kann nicht spielen

faule sau

there goes the league
darauf ein lautes elmau

>paco out
>diallo out
>hakimi out
>pisscheck just got back
>probably have to play schmelzer
>ref is gräfe

wew, dortmund is gonna get slaughtered

Leider muss ich dich korrigieren, da ich chelsea fan bin habe ich CHO schon paar mal spielen sehen. Gucke dir mal die Highlights vom letzten chelsea Spiel an zwinker. Sancho brilliert vlt in der Bundesliga, einer schwachen Liga. Gegen Tottenham in der CL war er blasser als Wayne Rooneys Hautfarbe. Auch in der Englischen Nationalmannschaft mittelmass, sehe da zB Sterling JL CHO klar besser. Empfehle dir Sky zu kündigen und Dazn zu Abonnieren, dann kannst du dir mal bessere Ligen angucken

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why are all the eplel customers on tm so insufferable

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ebin contrarian audience meets bling bling audience

Guerreiro out as well

Ralph Hassenhüttl:

>We have six teams at the level of Bayern Munich in the Premier League. So, you could say we play 12 times against Bayern per season. 12 games in which you don't get many points usually.

>“And then there are four or five clubs with the quality of Bayer Leverkusen or RB Leipzig. And then we are the Mainz, Freiburg or Augsburg of the Premier League.

>“I don't want that to be understood disrespectfully but you can compare it very well regarding the general requirements. We have to play perfect matches and even then we don't have a guarantee to have points afterwards. That makes it a special challenge.”

>On the collective quality of the Premier League being above that in the Bundesliga, Hasenhuttl added: “The top clubs in the Premier League benefit very much from the fact that there are six teams on a very high level.

>“They have so many games against each other so that they practically play Champions League the whole year. That helps them very much to persist in the international games. And for smaller clubs like us it's also a benefit to play against the top six regularly.”

Bundeslets eternally BTFO LMAO

wat? the fuck happened to him?

>We have six teams at the level of Bayern Munich in the Premier League.
city, liverpool, ... who else?

well he's not overrating Bayern at least

>but I'd prefer not throwing my vote away for a slim hope
So instead voting political and biogical boomers is not throwing away ones vote?

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>Laut einem Bericht der "Bild" klagt der 24-Jährige aktuell über muskuläre Probleme.

Arse Anal and Manure are below Bayern and Dortmund. This top 6 meme only started because of Tottenshit overachieving in the last few seasons.

>implying we aren't fucked beyond repair already
top naive

fun fact:
/deutsch/ is funny af

>implying I implied that

/int/ is a shit board, stop bragging about your homo general there olma

this thread is bad and you should feel bad
t. /bundes/ CEO

Haven't been there in years, but I alway found them cringy as fuck tßh

my name is /bundes/

no, i am /bundes/

anyone even watching?

/brit/ is decent. /deutsch/ is a unnerving combination of unfucked uni students, proper incel neets and """"german humour""""

/bundes/ is the only good german community on the internet tßh

>the city of freecastle

shook

The mainz match ? I am but I regretting tuning in, freiburg have capitulated, its painful to watch.

>/deutsch/ is a unnerving combination of unfucked uni students, proper incel neets and """"german humour""""

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> „Bei Hamza Mendyl ist es eine disziplinarische Maßnahme, dass er aktuell in der U23 trainiert".
>Nach Informationen der „Bild“-Zeitung verpasste Mendyl gleich mehrere Termine beim Zahnarzt. Dabei sollen die Königsblauen mit der Praxis extra eine Abmachung getroffen haben, dass diese länger geöffnet bleibt, um eine Behandlung des Linksverteidigers zu ermöglichen.

>schalke

if freiburg can get one back in the first half, this has 4-4 written all over it

>play the match of their lives against the mighty Buyern Münich
>lose to Mainzzzz one week later

True, but I want to watch good football not this type of shit

Footballers... imagine being pampered likes this. I don't need a club to get me dentists appointments, my mom does that for me.

>german commentator for the Fox broadcast:
>"freiburg was sitting in the locker room thinking fuckin' hell we're better than these guys"

color commentary indeed

What the fuck is Freiburg doing

OH NO NO NO NO NO HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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Freiburg have shit the bed

Lmao the ösinigger is obsessed af w us

playing with /trb/ AI

>Lmao the ösinigger is obsessed af w us

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this so much

HASENHÜTTEL

ÖSI'S AT THE WHEEL

>Der Fussballplatz ist vom Pferdescheiss ganz bedeckt

Southampton just scored

if dortmund loses tomorrow i will permanently switch to epl tßh

lionel matip topkek

>if dortmund loses tomorrow i will permanently switch to epl tßh

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Alles gut Ösi, gibt keinen Grund auszurasten.

and that's a good thing

every time I hear that name I imagine some guy zipping up his wiener and screaming "OWW MA TIP"

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Why are Freitagsspiele always entertaining when I don't watch them?

Because you’re cute. And I like u

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i am cute too ._.

jz ein spritzer

Hojiberg is captain, oh wow

But you’re not asking any, cute silly questions ever ;_;

jz ein lidl weinbrand mit freeway cola

jz deine mutter vergewaltigen

see

yikes big oof

>Buyern drew to this

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take your pills

best post itt

APOLOGISE

krinsch

how do i shot web? :3

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hasenhüttel gave that nigger redmond one job...dont let alexander arnold cross. what does that nigger do? lets arnold cross...

>Liverpool
More like Lilapool xD

>Keita's first goal is against his former coach

hä raff i ned >XD

ich geh jetzt wanne und höre neue folge podcast ufo ja geil alda

Denmark posted a picture of ther two giant tits, it's a great view.

gönn dir, akhi

hahaha just imagining this would be epic

tittön

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Make sure to charge your phone in and drop it in the water.

was nen milchlager, aber schade um die schlauchbootlippen

Wow cool dog

the BASED BONG strikes again kek

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yes

i am /bundes/, destroyer of worlds

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why yes of course it is time for The Rum™

Tbh drinking the bier rn

>not drinking Aldis Spätburgunder Weissherbst H A L B 'T R O C K E N for the past 2 hours
step up your game

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absolute OLMO

how the fuck did bayern lose to freiburg.

Was soll ich jz auf netflix gucken mann

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>5-0
ebin :DDDDDDDDDDD

looks aesthetic but wine is too small time for me. for me everything above 40% is showtime.

Mainzzzz > Buyern

I don't own a netflix account, but I always wanted to rewatch "Jaco" given that I was pretty drunk the first time I watched it. But if I'm being honest it's probably only the fanboy speaking out of me.

>Bayern 6 - 0 Mainz
hmmmmmmmmmmmm

>muh 'istry
stop drooling, gramps

fite me, zoom zoom

i think i could pick 10 random lads from my neighborhood and play 1-4 against mainzzz

iktf. +40% alcoholic beverages are fun and all. And a few months ago I was drinking Schnaps on a daily basis. But I would've probably kys'd myself before reaching 40 if I kept that up.

The bundes is so weird man

random lads you say huh.. how much is one of those? I'll offer you 13.75m but not one cent more.

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maybe the women team

This man is the third brother Grimm

im doing that at 27 and am still fine

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naja der martin von gegenüber hatte mal probetraining bei unterhaching also für 10 mille kriegst du den schon

which team da horses play for?

>look for chile posts
>cant find one
>look for denmark
>cant find
this thread is utter shit 2bh

godspeed

Fohlenelf

user please don't, drinking at a young age is still going to fuck you up big time later in life.

see here

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Fohl = baby horse?

yes yes

just numb the pain with pants-on-head retarded funposting like the rest of us :D

Ballad of Buster Scruggs

>look for chile posts
what? we have chile here?

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alcohol + kratom is the best combination for shitposting desu

Nice
Föl = baby horse in Swedish

Peru user >>> Chile user

I see

SALAT

Well, not a big surprise. German and Sverige are pretty closely related.

well i drink because everything is boring otherwise i guess? i think most people get shitfaced to forget some worries, but i get shitfaced because well, being sober is boring. life is soo boring holy shit.

>get shitfaced to forget some worries
>life is soo boring holy shit
>everything is boring
>being sober is boring
i have some bad news for you user

Good that you're not blind, brüdi

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God I hate that faggot Semsrott so much

youtube.com/watch?v=WtjnigApVvs

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if you think your life sucks, imagine living your life but with rectum cancer as a bonus. don't drink.

well one could argue that boredom itself is a worry true.
yikes, i guess this is your lot?

>technology makes life si-

I quit drinking completely and I’ve never felt better.

>*hicks*

Good for you. Who inherited your Gin collection though?

I was never able to build a collection, only of empty bottles.

Every self respecting drunktard has at least 5 bottles in stock.

nah but I've been inside hospitals many times, most people are too sheltered and don't know how shitty a life can get.

>quit drinking
cringe why

kek based

fuck I love weed. sorry for being degenerate

i have 4. but all are empty excluding the one im drinking now.

It stopped giving me pleasure.

now for reals: what else is there to do but drinking?

Every time I drink I overdo it completely. It's because alcohol takes a while to hit me, so I basically drink like two sixers of beer before feeling anything, and then I just don't stop until I go completely off the deep end and puke or pass out. I'm just too stupid to ever learn, and I take a stubborn pride in being able to drink a lot. I'm not 20 anymore, for fuck's sake. On top of that my dad is an alcoholic, though dry for a few years now. I'm scared to become like him one day, and I'm also scared he might not make it past 65, just like his mother.

I’ve been doing some more reading

Is there really a guy called Kevin lasagna?

Drink while shitposting

yes yes hello

see, now there's a reason this guy is the CEO of /bundes/

fickts eich

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cuddling doggos

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Lads

Life is good. It has its downsides, but being alive is pretty cool, all things considered.

eeeh puto ;-)

what when u die where do u go/wake uo who do u see what’ll happen????

im ultra curious to what afterlife is abt

How is Malle?

when i was a zoomer, i played games until they became boring. then i played around with a dozen of girls. that became boring too. then i tried to drown myself in work. well, that didnt work out lol. so now i drink. i drink, therefore i am. maybe that too gets boring one day, who knows.

It's a splash in a pond! What does it matter! There is a life before death. Don't worry too much.

doing other drugs while

and sexual assault

hello :)

what is the best team in Central Germany? the Leipzig Red Bulls?

Leipzig are as Ossi as one can be.

und noch 0n

Frankfurt

valencia is great, thanks brudis

what is the best ossi stadt and why is it dresden

never been there, but my parents visit friends who live there a few times and they like the city.

*visited

goodnight /bundes/. today was a fun day, but I have to work for the next 7 days, so we probably won't see each other for at least a week.

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Na ihr hässliche Hurensöhne, bereit für the reckoning?

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>Mainzzz

depends on your definition of "best", from a sporting point of view, yes.

wrong

its Leipzig tho

what even?

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>you now remember malle user that pretended to be a spaniard and chose werder as his favorite german team
>it was actually (me)

I don't remember you. But good taste in Bundes teams.

>I don't remember you.
that's too bad. it was in august last year. I had the time of my life funposting as a spaniard.

nigger

freie-radios.net/93814

ynr 2k on werder blew his holiday money for this year

But everyone knew it was (You)

Oh, I probably just wasn't active in /bundes/ arounde that time.

I know. that was part of the fun.

ynr that Frankfurt will get relegated

>Mane is the only one celebrating with Keita
;_;

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Is Danakeit still /ourgirl/?

that was a weird celebration

I think she hasn't realeased anything since Christmas

also
>danamutt

beer shits before even sleeping are weird but also very relieving

very oily and unsatisfactory shit desu

Pretty incredible

na boi fick du di

Since I stopped eating meat my shits are very liquidy or broken up

eat more beans

rocketbeans? lol

I'm now watching my recorded episode of Germany's Next Top Model. Don't spoil it for me!

What are German women like?

friends

cute

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Lena a cute!
Most I've met are slightly autistic and ugly but actually are interesting and less shallow than the typical murican
^^

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Come to Munich with me user, we can find out for ourselves.

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Neue

Bump limit

I wanna fuck danamutt so bad and out a baby in her stomach

never look up your old crush on facebook
yikes indeed

Well, last time I voted for the Pirate Party.
Considering Julia Reda's feats that vote wasn't wasted.
It's really a shame what has been happening with them since then, and especially having that fucktard on the second position in their list.
They are apparently on the rise in Luxembourg, so maybe that evens out.

based jannies doing god's work

>unironically reporting a thread
Kys

Reda's excuse to leave the party is pathetic.
They did what they could to get the frog man off the list, so why is "she" leaving?

This af

hi autistic german mod
how are you today

new bread pls ty

Ja muss od.

...

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see

where in the fuck are you, Torben
make a fucking thread

>Reda's excuse to leave the party is pathetic.
>They did what they could to get the frog man off the list

I'm not involved with the Pirates, only seeing what is happening from the outside, but it seems pretty clear they weren't particularly keen on getting that fuck off the list.
She intended to leave parliament anyway after a single legislature in order to not get dependent on getting re-elected, like our regular members of parliament, which is an admirable way of thinking. Too bad there aren't many people of her caliber to replace her.
Will vote Pirates against her "will", since the other options look even worse, but I won't do literally free word of mouth propaganda for them anymore.

really want a proper /bundes/ tßh

(((be the change you want to see)))

>but it seems pretty clear they weren't particularly keen on getting that fuck off the list.
Considering the information that surfaces, that could not be further from the truth.