/heem/ prime schaub would heem ngannou

Zabit is different. He may be from Dagistan, but he is not Dagistani.

this he's pure boy material desu

>You now remember Mike "Platinum" Perry

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This little FREAK is a fucking abomination. It's a testament to how far we have declined as a society that he wasn't dashed against rocks as an infant. What a horrible, disgusting affront to the goodness of God's creation.

If I were anywhere near Los Angeles, our modern Gomorrah, I would choke the life out of this little mongrel's disgusting and hateful demonic face.

My day is ruined for having gazed upon such filth.

The sheer unholy AUDACITY to try and pass this mutt, this mongrel, this ANIMAL as a human being fills me with such rage that I quake in anger.

Had this halfling resided in my village I would come to him at night with fire and cleanse the world of his stain. It is a failing of modern society that now I would somehow be accused of a crime for ridding God's kingdom of such affronts to his glory.

Attached: brendan-schaub-with-her-family.jpg (650x600, 169K)

This little FREAK is a fucking abomination. It's a testament to how far we have declined as a society that he wasn't dashed against rocks as an infant. What a horrible, disgusting affront to the goodness of God's creation.

If I were anywhere near Los Angeles, our modern Gomorrah, I would choke the life out of this little mongrel's disgusting and hateful demonic face.

My day is ruined for having gazed upon such filth.

The sheer unholy AUDACITY to try and pass this mutt, this mongrel, this ANIMAL as a human being fills me with such rage that I quake in anger.

Had this halfling resided in my village I would come to him at night with fire and cleanse the world of his stain. It is a failing of modern society that now I would somehow be accused of a crime for ridding God's kingdom of such affronts to his glory.

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Khabib is the only good one though. Zabit is a meme and I've seen Makhachev get finished. I know there's a few others but they're cans

>he married a curtain
>oh no... he insulted islam
since when do curtains have anything to do with islam?
if anything he may have insulted him as a person, his wife, dagestani tradition but islam?!
lol what the fuck is wrong with the west

>hands down sticking out your tongue
Its like you're asking to get heemed

Haha Zabit meme cause he fight flashy other fighter that meme also fight flashy my brain don't work no good

Acorde Zabit. Você não se lembra do que aconteceu, mas eu vou te dizer. O banheiro foi lavado. Está tudo acabado. Sasuga.

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>MMA
>real sport

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It was the last seconds of a fight he was clearly going to lose, heem or get heemed.

Bochniak was based that whole fight even if he was clearly outskilled

>Canelo
>real boxer

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Tony vs Max at 155 who wins? I'd bet Max lights him up for 4 rounds until Tony thinks his corner men are out to get him

oh for sure decisioning bochniak and stephens is a beast my guy, hes got all the tools

If Lewis vs Volkov and Korean Zombie vs Yair taught us anything, its that its never too late for a heem.

Max is pillowfisted enough to not be able to KO Tony, but he's good enough of a striker to ensure he will relentlessly punch Tony in the head for 5 rounds, ensuring maximum CTE. Tony wins the story but also loses custody of his kids, both the real one and the imaginary one

All the best fighters go the distance more often than finish.

Can't see UFC surviving the rise of ONE desu.

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Tony Ferguson is literally on Meth. I know some people on meth. He's on meth.

i agree one hunny my guy zabit (or as me and my friends call him ZABEAST) is a force at 145. proven commodity for sure, DAGESTANI TAKEOVER XD

Oh for sure b, 100%

Tony will cut him up
also what happened to the Reem fight?

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Max Holloway is a shitty striker

There's a difference between Jones or Usman or Woodley completely imposing their will on somebody and shutting down everything they do whether it be striking or wrestling, and throwing memes strikes at Jeremy Shitvens for 5 rounds

yikes

Volkov died, it's now Oleinik vs Reem

Dude half of
these guys look like the mutt memes
The huwhites guy is a slav, and the one next to him has the biggest head ever like that coonhead show
What the actual fuck someone pls say thats photoshopped

Tony is wild animal. If he decides to win he wins
Volkov can't fight for some reason. It will be Oleinik x Overreem afaik

Jeremy Shitvens, the guy that a lot of British posters seemed to think would beat Jose Aldo when they were gonna fight.
You weren't one of those Brits were you?

>Woodley
>Completely imposing his will
wtf?

Does prime Schaub heem Jon Jones?

>yikes
why yikes? i agree with you my guy, bochniak and stephens are munsterly wins. if he can beat them he can beat everyone, queue up aldo and max he'd take them out in the same night #shaolinofdagestan

>5-0
>100% TKO rate
>4 of them in the first round
Ngannou is fucking finished.

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Teemu Packalen looks like such a cuck. think i could take him t b h

>Hey man, it is what it is you know...
>I went to internet and some guys said I have CTE, and I just overslept. It's crazy man, but best is blessed! Also some funny guys said I have kid or something, man I dunno what they talkin' about I'm kid myself, kid of da ISLAND!
>That guy from Belgium posted Ortega and I played with him, he's probably so mad right now. I bet he's not even posting. And that other guy from Luksembyro? He said Shaub KO's Ngannou come on man it's crazy out there in BeniLexus.
>Right now I'm just focused on moving up and taking that second belt. Connor Saint Pierre, I'm coming baby!

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Attached: conor chokes a bum.jpg (791x486, 82K)

>these aren't shopped
>he looks like that
what the actual fuck

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I literally posted that Aldo would flush Zabit earlier ITT, I'm not a bandwagoning redditor like you
I bet you post three piece with the soda. Sit down son before I go for the single leg, elbow you to loosen your guard up, then berimbolo you for the finish. You've been warned, kid.

That guy got dealt a shit hand. I hope he makes it.

is anyone else shifting slowly from Karolina to her

wtf is happening to me

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Is this what caveman mode looks like?

CTE won't be the worst thing that happened to him in his life

God
Save ... Us all

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I think Jose Aldo would beat Zabit right now too. I asked if you thought Jeremy Stephens was gonna beat Aldo, cause a lot of Brits were posting that he was going to.
Pretty simple question that you avoided. So assuming you did think Stephens was going to beat Aldo I can assume you don't know what you're talking about and added on to the fact that you can't see that Zabit is at least top 5 material I can assume you know even less and are a casual MMA fan.

>his nickname isn't "Hammerhead"
missed opportunity

Racemixing might be wrong guys
i will think abiut this mans face if i ever get to pour my semen into a black women

>Wake up homosapiens, it's all over

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You're growing up. Soon you will be off white women altogether.

Juan is strong for sure but how does he do against Prime Schaub?

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Laughing so hard I'm crying

How the fuck did this cro magnon make it through the time warp?

n o
o

el orgo de caveman.....

she'd better get diabetes and have these amputated

Aldo vs Conor vs Khabib

3-way to the death

who wins?

Attached: dead dagestani.jpg (1006x955, 97K)

would unironically still put them in my mouth haha

THAT'S IT THAT'S IT HE'S OUT
KHABIB IS OUT
UNBELIEVABLE
MCGREGOR HAS DONE IT AGAIN, ONE PUNCH KNOCKOUT

can I tell you who gets stomped to death in the first

Imagine getting side kicked by those clubs though. She could probably break diamonds with them

Khabib x Gaethje x TFerg
3-way to the death

>fantasizing about a three way with dudes

Why are Russians so gay?

Conor after Khabib and Aldo team up?

You are projecting too hard, zhang. We discuss mma hear

>what's intimidation and mind factor on fighting
Oof

Based

Attached: eabaf07.jpg (1125x1391, 164K)

Gastelum heems israel

>Juan Adam's
>Juan
>JUAN
Wtf?

unfortunately fatselum will get decisionated

>being intimidated by someone leaving their jaw open to a hook
I'd knock you out in 5 seconds, Pedro

Loving how the word racist has lost any and all meaning whatsoever in this society

Why does Conor tweet this dumb shit knowing he'll delete it? He looks like a bigger bitch doing so

because his relevance is fading and it works up the marks, also he was probably drunk and coked up

It worked you marks into a seething, feverish shoot, did it not?

Pretty based if you ask me.

Acceleration, sweetie. Can you imagine how much faster the great HAPPENING of our time will come if Goob were killed by a musrat?

Is he deleting them or are they getting deleted by twitter?

once you fire the missile you dont need to leave the silo opened, you just close it and prepare for fire again. since half of the world screencapped it there is no reason to keep it there.

Where I come from people like that get slapped

Working the marks, he's being a mandrama whore to keep the casuals talking.
This isn't meant for you or me, its meant for normies. You know how most UFC cards get 250k buys or less? Thats because there are 250k MMA fans, or so. When Connor sells 1500k buys, thats a lot of non-fans buying, because Conor is a reality TV show and they want to see him talk funny and do the thing that he does on those videos.

Khabib and Aldo will never team up.
Here is what Aldo had to say about Conor a few days ago
>He had a brilliant career, he was a great fighter and if he really is retiring, I congratulate him for all he did in the sport.
Aldo is making his face turn and will be like Apollo Creed. He will take Conor to Brazil to train him in the favelas in order to get Conor's eye of the tiger back and he'll heem Khabib. Then Jose will be beaten to death by Artem in bareknuckle boxing and Conor will go to Russia to avenge José

Try slapping Goober, I dare ya. He'd take eight years off your life.

This made me think, why has twitter not banned conor?

This nigga finna walkout dragging a club

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Prime Khabib flushes GSP

>Where I come from people like that get slapped

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Twitter relies on retards posting obnoxious shit to get money. Banning high profile retards is counter-productive. They should stick to banning low profile, low traffic retards, like Richard Spencer or whoever.

I've messaged my ex at least twice while smash drunk at the club and then regretted it in the morning
Dude was probably drunk and coked up as fuck when he was tweeting it

If you ever make it out of the bed I'll declare you the winner lardo

Looks like we got ourselves a cazzie here, boys

Are you a Californian?

Awful fanfiction.

How to spot a cazzie: "Fedora is the GOAT XDD"

Attached: fedor-werdum.jpg (501x283, 110K)

Give these guys the three piece with a soda haha

> Then Jose will be beaten to death by Artem in bareknuckle boxing and Conor will go to Russia to avenge José
Lel

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Post the webm of Werdum calling Overeem to get to the ground.

kek i was sure this was shopped

got u bud

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If only Fedor had done 2 minutes of research about going to the ground with Werdum.

And now we wait

Get fucked.

lmao

All that work just to get dabbed on

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>no ufc this weekend

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>3 seconds
>all that work
You must take the internet very seriously

>yfw you got dabbed on after all that work
Calm down, sweetie.

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Just find something else to do ;)

>heem ruins the /soc/ thread

>heem shitposting on a soc thread
Seems like everything worked out senpai. Better luck next time

Attached: yoel dance.gif (600x450, 1.72M)

>the /soc/ thread that had 1 post every hour or so

Woow, big loss.

>pissing in toxic waste is ruining it
lel

twitter.com/ConfessionsExMu/status/1113462092483387392
what do we think lads?

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holy shit my sides

Nice laundromat

Have mask fetish but don't care. These bitches should run and gun if they feel oppressed but they won't because they're plebs.

Conor gets KTFO in the rematch 100 percent.

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so he would be 9...

The new power rangers movie is looking good

>Sign up to every dating site
>Spend aprox 10 hours per week swiping
>Do it properly and don't just swipe right on every girl, actually read their profiles, view all their pictures, check their questions for answers etc.
>Exactly one year later
>Around 600 girls "liked" me
>Of these 600 there were around 60 matches
>Of these 60 there were about 40 that on second review I didn't feel would be worth continuing with
>Of the 60 0 (ZERO) of them messaged me first
>Of the 20 I messaged first, 10 replied back to my message
>Of the 10, 3 replied back to my reply to their reply
>Of the 3, 2 of them revealed they didn't even live in the location they stated was their location
>1 left
>She's not replied in over a week
>I've seen her online since then however
>Have messaged her again today
>Fingers crossed

Why is this so fucking hard lads?

Disclaimer:-
>6'2
>28 years old
>Reasonable shape, slim build play football every week
>Masters degree
>Solid 8/10
>Own my own home
>Ride a motorcycle and go scuba diving for fun
>Know martial arts
>Learned to speak Spanish

I can hold a conversation and make people laugh, but I haven't even been on a fucking date yet.

I would literally

No

L I T E R A L L Y

heem every single one of you lard-munching fatties

kys you loser

'2
found your problem, you're king of the manlets

you need to be at least 6'4 these days mate, unlucky

>dating online instead meeting women irl
beat it nerd

>dating at all instead of focusing on sports

>>Solid 8/10
Delusional

>6'2"
You're too tall
5'6-5'10 is the best height range for the domination of social situations.
This is because of the "subtle alpha" aesthetics the shorter man always gives off. The shorter man will always dominate through his "style", his "sleekness" and most usually through his intellectual power. Taller men can not pull this off, so they have to dominate in a much "in your face" and "raw" way.

I smell a fucking incel.

Consider this your one and ONLY warning, incel. You get the FUCK out of this fucking thread right now and NEVER return. You do that and you won't have hospital bills to pay, you don't and, well, let's just say it won't be pretty.

Beat it incel. Get your pathetic ass the fuck away from me. Stop polluting my aura with your beta bullshit. There is a strict NO INCELS policy in /heem/ and you should fucking know that by now.

Swipe right on everything while you're watching TV then just scroll through and pick out the hotties and slaggy looking girls when you get matches, also if you just want a date with someone close get Tinder and set the location to within 10km or so and do same as the above

Also if you're good looking you don't need to use cheesy lines to break the ice just go in with Hey and straight into getting digits after 3 lines of convo

>brits
>attractive
Lmao

209 bitch

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just pack some xtc and roll with some slag

are you really british?

You want something very good, that doesn't exist.
Be a butcher after meat, and you will get to rub your shaft on another disgusting humanoid's crotch, and you can pretend to like each other on the days you feel compelled to meat.

STOCKTUN MUDDERFUKKER, WHAT

WHAT BITCH, WHAT

And now we wait.

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Burqas aren’t even a thing in all Islamic cultures, right? There’s this qt Muslim girl in one of my classes and according to her burqas/niqabs/the weird ass wedding thing Khabib’s wife wears are only prominent in shitty cultural backwaters

Jokes on you he copy-pasted that from /r9k/

Attractive to other Brits I mean of course

The fact that you browse /heem/ is already a dead giveaway that there's probably something obviously wrong with you. Not even memeing.

>Finally match with a girl I genuinely like
>Send a few messages
>Getting really excited about her
>This could finally be it
>Ask her if she wants to meet some time
>She tells me she's from fucking Greece and has just started a 4 year college course

I genuinely agree with you that there is something wrong with me but I don't know what it is.

Conor is truly the GOAT

Attached: Screenshot_20190404-163956.jpg (1080x2160, 720K)

Lesson learnt, that's something you need to establish straight away man

Fuck off.

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isn't he ethnic slur towelhead? Surely just calling someone a towel isn't that offensive

colby said he's rent free in Usman's head
reckon he browses here for material?

I'm selling up and moving.

Definitely a channer, so high probability.

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calling someone a Goatfucker is though

Where do you think he got the whole MAGA based boy schitck from.

Unfortunately, if you want actually helpful feedback, you're gonna have to post a picture of yourself. That's the only way anybody can accurately assess anything. You probably shouldn't do it here though.

I wish 46 year old Hendo had finished Bisping with one of those knockdowns and become champ then immediately retired.

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do you really think there’s something seriously wrong with us all? i’ve seen more fucked up shit in youtube comments than i’ve seen here

I wonder who'd wear the strapon.

just do pic related 100 percent

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But you unintentionally see that shit on Youtube. You are there for normal videos and normal comments, and sometimes unintentionally see gross comments.
People come on Yea Forums to intentionally see disgusting morally abhorrent shit. A normal healthy reaction to Yea Forums is to feel bile running up your throat. The fact that I open Yea Forums first thing in the morning and spend more time on Yea Forums than I do doing actual work at the office shows I am not a normal person, and I should heem myself. Goober bless.

This entertainment, MMA, really does cater to the lowest common denominator. It's like all the biggest losers who couldn't keep up with the WWE story lines decided to come together to watch retards get brain damage for pennies.

>Dustin Poirier vs. Max Holloway TITLE FIGHT

>The event is expected to be headlined by an interim UFC Lightweight Championship bout between current UFC Featherweight Champion Max Holloway and Dustin Poirier

>interim title bout

Realistically and unironically, do you guys see Poirier beating Max?

Attached: 1526116212240.png (782x745, 434K)

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I don't mean "wrong with you" in like an edgy way. I mean if you consistently browse a scat porn general, people can probably tell that you have a touch of 'tism.

this sounds like twitter fearmongering to me. i don’t come to Yea Forums to see abhorrent shit, i come here to see funny pictures about mma guys. apart from spammy and the weird comments about schaubs kid, most of the posting in here isn’t anything you wouldn’t see on any other website. it’s probably different depending on the boards you go to but i don’t think everyone on here is necessarily a low-empathy psycho with no friends, prospects, or redeeming characteristics

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There he is, right on cue lmao

Volkov got USADA'd (had to pull out for "medical reasons")

i didn’t mean to summon him, sorry bros

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He beat Gaethje so at least he can execute things. Max is a notoriously pillowfisted too. Who knows. But Max has much more chances against khabib imo

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mods?

I could heem you in the third

>t. manlet coping

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cant wait for fat mexican to end israel

>the only one to lose to post usada chris

Max has shit boxing defense and Dustin is one of the best boxers in the division. I mean, even Ortega landed on Max a fuck ton before he crumbled under the pressure.

BASED Spammy scaring away the r*dditors

Spammy do you want a heemcord invite? All you gotta do is ask my guy.

>>Do it properly and don't just swipe right on every girl, actually read their profiles, view all their pictures, check their questions for answers etc.
This is actually a stupid waste of time. Pre-screening is completely useless because ultimately women are the ones who choose. You're better off swiping right on every girl and then unmatching those that are too ugly.

>>Around 600 girls "liked" me
>>Of these 600 there were around 60 matches
Wait, explain this. Does tinder tell you how many people liked you now?

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ZakerToday at 2:32 PM
yes
three piece with the sodaToday at 2:32 PM
Bad judging doesn't prove anything
s3asToday at 2:32 PM
adesanya vs usman
who you got
and what about woodley
ZakerToday at 2:32 PM
>i-it was bad judging!!!
three piece with the sodaToday at 2:33 PM
Nigerian BBC kings shouldn't fight eachother
s3asToday at 2:33 PM
its what they do in their natural habitat
animals belong in nature and not in the zoo
three piece with the sodaToday at 2:33 PM
And you're lucky they do
ZakerToday at 2:34 PM
adesayna has a small dick
he isnt a bbc king
s3asToday at 2:34 PM
h-how do you know
ZakerToday at 2:34 PM
hes a 30 yr old that acts like a zoomer
AIexJonesToday at 2:34 PM
poor Kevin Lee has a small one
ZakerToday at 2:34 PM
pic of adesayna
AIexJonesToday at 2:34 PM
I saw two black guys with smaller dicks than me once, must be hard
three piece with the sodaToday at 2:34 PM
If black men discovered the concept of teamwork, us frail whitebois would be in serious trouble
@AIexJones Where was this?
AIexJonesToday at 2:35 PM
in the showers at a gym I used to go to
like that's supposed to be their thing
rough
three piece with the sodaToday at 2:36 PM
I don't think I've ever been to a gym where guys just hang dong in the locker room
I feel like I'm missing out on the experience
AIexJonesToday at 2:37 PM
Was it Gunni who commented on that, Americans being all weird about covering up in the showers
steamboating Today at 2:55 PM
ive seen it a decent amount but usually from guys over 35-40yo
us young uns like to keep our pieces holstered at all times
just the way it is i suppose

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for me, it's derek schott

>2:55 PM
lol so you are indeed on the west coast.

youtube.com/watch?v=KtyqaFc-8LQ PUT YOUR HEEM UPP

>Spergy has been talking shit about Broward county, meanwhile he lives in Commiefornia

for sure

s3asYesterday at 11:32 PM
adesanya vs usman
who you got
and what about woodley
ZakerYesterday at 11:32 PM
>i-it was bad judging!!!
three piece with the sodaYesterday at 11:33 PM
Nigerian BBC kings shouldn't fight eachother
s3asYesterday at 11:33 PM
its what they do in their natural habitat
animals belong in nature and not in the zoo
three piece with the sodaYesterday at 11:33 PM
And you're lucky they do
ZakerYesterday at 11:34 PM
adesayna has a small dick
he isnt a bbc king
s3asYesterday at 11:34 PM
h-how do you know
ZakerYesterday at 11:34 PM
hes a 30 yr old that acts like a zoomer
AIexJonesYesterday at 11:34 PM
poor Kevin Lee has a small one
ZakerYesterday at 11:34 PM

pic of adesayna
AIexJonesYesterday at 11:34 PM
I saw two black guys with smaller dicks than me once, must be hard
three piece with the sodaYesterday at 11:34 PM
If black men discovered the concept of teamwork, us frail whitebois would be in serious trouble
@AIexJones Where was this?
AIexJonesYesterday at 11:35 PM
in the showers at a gym I used to go to
like that's supposed to be their thing
rough
three piece with the sodaYesterday at 11:36 PM
I don't think I've ever been to a gym where guys just hang dong in the locker room
I feel like I'm missing out on the experience
AIexJonesYesterday at 11:37 PM
Was it Gunni who commented on that, Americans being all weird about covering up in the showers
steamboating Yesterday at 11:55 PM
ive seen it a decent amount but usually from guys over 35-40yo
us young uns like to keep our pieces holstered at all times
just the way it is i suppose

youtube.com/watch?v=Q-rCzCAJJcA

How many years will weed need to be legal for the manchild culture surrounding it dies off?

LOL lukas youve got these losers looking on the wrong fucking continent

KRAMER: Yellllo. What delay industries?

ELAINE: no no , ..

GEORGE: VANDALEY, SAY VANDALEY!

KRAMER: Na, you're way way way off.. Well, yeah that's the right number but
this is an apartment
Yes , yes . I am Dr. Vanostran from the clinic . I need Elaine Benes

chart . She's a patient of mine and she's not going to make it . It's uh very

bad very messy .

Attendant : I see and what clinic is that again ?

Kramer : That's correct .

Attendant : Excuse me .

Kramer : From The Hoffer-Mandale Clinic in Belgium .

Attendant : Really ?

Kramer : The Netherlands ?

KRAMER: Well, I really miss the Bermuda Triangle.

NEWMAN: I guess there's not much action down there these days.

KRAMER: Oh, there's action. There's plenty of action. That damned alien autopsy is stealing all the headlines.

NEWMAN: Yeah, tell me about it.

KRAMER: See, what they gotta do is loose a plane or a Greenpeace boat in there. See, that would get the triangle going again.

NEWMAN: What keeps the water in there? I mean, why doesn't it disappear?

KRAMER: What would be the point in taking the water?

NEWMAN: It's gorgeous water. (pause) Do we own Bermuda?

KRAMER: No. It belongs to the British.

NEWMAN: Lucky krauts.

KRAMER: So, what do you think about that alien autopsy?

NEWMAN: Oh, that's real.

KRAMER: I think so too.

pfffffffftttt

MMA is for fucking losers. But unironically. Anyone who watches it ought to be cyclone Yea Forums'd.

For me, it's Colby "Chaos" Covington

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Billie Eilish Pirate Baird O'Connell[3] (/ˈaJliʃ/, born December 18, 2001[4]) is an American singer and songwriter.

In 2016, Eilish released her debut single, "Ocean Eyes", which subsequently went viral. Her debut EP Don't Smile at Me was released in August of the next year. Following the EP's commercial success, Apple Music named Eilish as its newest Up Next artist in September 2017.[5] Her debut studio album, When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?, was released March 29, 2019.[6] Through the RIAA, Eilish has seven gold and two platinum singles.[7]

Eilish was raised in Highland Park, Los Angeles by a family of actors and musicians.[8][4][9][10] Her parents are Maggie Baird and Patrick O'Connell;[11][12][13] she has mainly Irish and Scottish ancestry.[14] She was homeschooled, and joined the Los Angeles Children's Chorus at age eight. At age 11, Eilish began writing and singing her own songs.

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derek i fucking love you

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kek i only found out about this girl like 3 days ago, she's fucking huge. how could i miss it?

Corn to the core

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Obviously because everyone is paid to shill her. Modern music is just a media propaganda where journalists wants you to believe she is a next big thing.

>reading in his voice

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Thoughts on Zane Simon owning a pit bull?

>My legs don't get cold

get a log of this steam andy sixx poster. it's over blud. you're flushed.

delish eilish is on the menu lads

Derek and me a few days ago when we took out the bach, he's the one driving youtu.be/k9t82lteOys

In English doc

Imagine Kurk Cobane with twice the talent and no drug problem. That's Billie Eilish.

LLLLOL

Fuck off tibla

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Not. MMA. Related.

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If it turns out Matt Hughes is innocent it will be the second time he's been railroaded

>that insecure self rated 8 outta 10 brit actually deleted his posts
100 percent for sure you're a catch 6'2" man with a masters degree b

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be gone germanigger

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so i found about her and my youtube recommendations got filled with shit with her, she's only 17! why does she seem so depressed?

welcome back dernmark

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There's an old joke. A merchant tells a customer that in a far away village a man has married an 86 year old woman. The customer responds, "Preposterous! Don't they have any goats in that village?"

would fuck her tho. ficki ficki like you germans say

Seriously who is this girl and why everybody spam her

going to hit the hay ttyl derek i love you

>too retarded to search the image
Its not your fault Mexico's a shit hole, its your parents

jej

MMA forum dorks calling for the DCvBork fight so that DC can get paid.
>"wow, DC deserves this money fight! I don't care about holding up the division because he wants to wait for Brock. Get this man his money!"
>DC has been paid at least $500K show for 6 fights in a row.(even gets paid $1M for Jones)
>has a UFC commentary gig lined up for after retirement
>can be coaching staff for AKA or a college program whenever he wants
This man has enough money. Personally, I want this fight to happen because I want to see a roid monster try to murder a 40 year old dadbod. Don't bring his personal expenses into the equation, fucking weirdos. What are you? His accountant?

Fuck Yea Forums and Fuck Elias Theodoroux

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boy i hope a tape leaks of her having extracurricular activities with some gymbro

I unironically like a few Billie Eilish's songs

>he American
>get shot

Heh nodin personnel mutt

I find it hilarious PVZ somehow got a commentary job with M1.

The greatest marketing trick UFC ever pulled is getting fans to pretend they're smart by talking about things from a "financial perspective"

I unironically think Brock would beat DC. I'm also willing to put money on it

>ignoring that Khabib insinuated that Conor will be killed for attacking his religion
>Constantly seeing people other than white as the oppressed and pure that needs to be protected
>Yet WE'RE the racist ones

ok

How?

I think DC hasn't really been tested against another wrestler. The last person he fought with good wrestling was Jones and he lost to him twice. Rumble had zero heart and is more of a KO artist from what I've seen. Aside from that he outweighed Hendo by a lot too, so I wouldn't say Hendo was a threat to him. Also, his age is getting to him. He has stated prior to fighting Stipe and Lewis that he was injured, so I doubt he will be 100% if he fights Brock. With that being said if DC displays good TDD, then he should obviously win.

dc just needs to retire cause he's boring as hell and his body is disgusting for a pro fighter. he'd have been flushed long ago if it weren't for overly critical steroid laws

Tell me you wouldn't want to be the guy in red in this picture.

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would the outcome be different?
>fully steroided dc vs 100% natty jones

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what are the rumors about conor that shob and cuck thomas talked about?

FORM VOLTRON

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Gonna go to the gym now guys. I've picked out a random webm from my folder for you guys to discuss. Make it count

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YYYYEEEEAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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Even during his wrestling years he wasn't looking juicy even tho wrestlers are as roided as lifters. I think the outcome would be drastically different. Not only because he would be much stronger but because the aggressive that people on peds have

You're being a bit sensitive aren't you Coral? I mean everyone loses once in a while

I can't get over her fucking goblin face. I just am unable to find her attractive because of it. Her head is so fucking long and her giant face takes up most of it.

This post is the very definition of cope.

what do you mean

Romero doesnt even have a BBC, it's confirmed

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I still don't see the problem.

what the actual fuck does BRENDAN know about this!

that is unironically some fucked up shit lmao

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What about this

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They both have wives and they are best pals, still no problem.

How do you go from seechurz to fucking your mom?

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getting cucked by your adopted son

Projecting your own freudian fantasy onto a toddler is kinda messed up, and by kinda I mean please seek help as soon as possible.

>adopted
don't kid yourself Tiger and Brendan look exactly alike

Looks like someone else

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That’s a problem in itself, b

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Tiger is blaxican my guy, looks nothing like Schaub (a white man)

He literally grabbed her tits at one point to give her a tattoo there

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>No problem with digging your fingers inside of another man's ass
Would this behavior be acceptable to you if Callen were a female? I'm sure Joanna wouldn't be okay with it.

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it really is unnecessary to take of your entire shirt for a simple tattoo like that

Seriously though? Why would she stand so close to her "tattoo artist"?

throw bacon on them

>literally grabbed her
That's not how it works dude, she held it up on her own and he tattooed underneath.
Callen was wearing jeans bro. Yes Joanna would be okay with that. When Brett Favre smacks his offensive lineman on the butt, nobody cares because its a friendly gesture.
She's not wearing just a shirt dude.

D-d-dimepiece

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Mommy

of course she's not wearing a shirt thats what i said dumbass

Max flushes poorier

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She's not wearing a shirt because she's wearing a one-piece.

>embrace my imperfections
>literally has digusting obvious fake tits
Schaub REALLY could've done a lot better than that retarded goblin

What I want to know is why John Kavanagh was there to watch this

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Reminder heem makes other generals seethe with jealousy.

she's clearly tits out bud

post the full image.
You don't know if they're fake and it makes no difference because if you marry someone it means that you like their personality even more.

hot take

I did

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what kind of mental illness is this?

>stretch marks
did she use a magnifying glass and saw a small crease or something?

>2012
Wow some male dancer at a bachelorette party danced next to her big whoop they're having a good time.

fer sure b

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why did she put "male dancer" in quotations like that?

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>You don't know if they're fake
Literally have watched thousands of hours of porn and have actually had sex with women who have fake breasts

They're fake and Schaub is dumb for settling down

what a whore

>heems Schaub
>took Ronda
>gave it Joana
Looks thats 3-0

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Schaub wins the rematch, Travis wins the trilogy however

That's Burt Watson, they both worked for the UFC. Adding the blacked meme watermark doesn't mean anything other than that you are being a moron.
Maybe it's time you stopped watching some much of that garbage because it's rotting your brain. If I watched thousands of hours of people making airplanes would you fly in one that I made?
Joanna interviewed Travis, it was her job. Taking Ronda was a blessing in disguise.

Clearly fake you retard lmao

it was an early stoppage by yakasami, homeboy was talkin to em

there are a few on the inside of her thigh its just a horrible camera angle for it

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>If I watched thousands of hours of people making airplanes would you fly in one that I made?
That makes literally no sense you dumbass

Male dancer = Male dancer
"Male dancer" = Male prostitute

Still waiting for you to link me this, and I'll probably still be waiting years from now.
No.
Makes plenty of sense.

your plane analogy doesnt work, dont @ me again

Schaub is a cuck, Joanna has fake tits and is retarded

underrated post

What if Uncle Tony abused Tiger so much that Tiger got CTE

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shaub is literally posting on heem right now

Coral is dabbing on you braindead cheeto finger nerds so hard right now

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No it doesn’t. You turned observation to observation from observation to creation. Fucking retard

>dont @ me again
lol who do you think you are? "I don't have an argument so this ends now!"
You definitely do watch so much porn that it's warped your reality to the point that any picture a guy takes with a girl means they've made love. That is super insane to me.
Hit the dab like Wiz Khalifa!
You turned observation into generalization.

I have the chat log

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What was going through your head when you made this and other Tiger photoshopped images?

Again. That didn’t even make sense. You’re fucking stupid

Keep cursing and bullying people see how far that gets you in this life.

what goes through you head as you waste your life away posting about some washed up UFC fighter that you have a crush on everyday

>Fergylicious
Everytime lmao

I wasn't able to post for 15 months out of the last 2 years, you seriously need to stop being obsessed with me. Schaub is someone to aspire to be, I see no problem whatsoever with me being a fan of his.

this is my favorite schaub

lets all calm down. I'll post something we can all agree on to calm the mood
prime schaub heems ngannou

Gladly, you retarded fucking pussy. While you observe my success, in the meantime you can learn how to make an actual fucking analogy you dumb shit

*dabs on your toiletries closet at town hall*

I was just asking a question my guy(which you dint answer by the way), you got a little defensive there. enjoy your next ban

>post a webm of schaub getting heemed
>immediately starts personally attacking anons with screencaps
Looks like you're the one obsessed my guy

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It's really never necessary at all to use expletives but wow you're really trying to send a message to me. I think you should listen to this guy right here You didn't answer me either.
I don't personally attack anyone, I just show them what they said.

Imagine your father think that you're so incompetent that he doesn't even trust you to do something as simple as real estate.

Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses, maybe something difficult to someone else might be really easy for me.

you didnt ask a question, did you catch CTE from jacking it to Schaub too much?

How is that relevant to Schaub getting heemed?

I was with my girlfriend and her gay friend who was looking for a rebound at some funky gay bar in Boulder. I saw Schaub there with a group of people around him, I remembered he went to school there so I figured he was just tagging along for a good time with a chick and her friends like me. Then he jumped on the stage and a donkey came out, he started aggressively and sensually petting the donkey in a lot of places then started sucking it off on stage in front of everyone as they jeered and left. I turned my head and tried walking out but then Schaub rushed the entrance and tried showing everyone him gargling its cum. Never been so disgusted in my life.

I did ask a question maybe you need to just read my post.

My stand up is better than yours
My TDD is the best at the gym
I also make 80k a year STARTING
Fucking loser

How about you suck a donkey dick, nigger. This is Yea Forums. Cry about your hurt feelings elsewhere

in many ways schaub's success is directly correlated with heem promoting him

Well I'm happy for you and hope you live a fulfilling life. I will never wish ill will on someone.

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very good point, with /heem/'s global reach and 10 billion daily readers it's entirely possible that the posting of Schaub has led to him gaining fame

Give me an example of one of your "strengths" Coral.

Fight me one on one. What weight class do you compete at?

id heem everybody itt, every last fucking one of you

I'm still trying to figure that one out myself, but it's definitely not street smarts/closing.
I won't fight you but I'd probably compete at Welterweigh.

Alright. See you at 170, bitch.

whats your max bench?

what in the absolute fuck
this is not normal

Around 190lbs

>weighs more than me
>benches less than me

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I walk around at 165 lbs, just think I'd die cutting to lightweight.

Parents kissing their kids on the lips is fine. Too overblown these days. But this is gross. Disgusting. And to put it on social media I presume? Shocking to say the least.

>too pussy to cut 10 pounds

>weighs less than 170
>I'd probably be a WW
Your ideal weight class is 20lbs minus your regular weight.

But how tall are you?

I'm 6'0 so I think after a training camp I would beef up a bit.

Nowadays its walking weight minus 40

I can unironically cut to 145 being 6'3

Right? Like a quick peck on the lips is no big deal. A smooch is pushing it, but still ok. They're just straight up making out. It makes me shudder just looking at the thumbnail. I'm honestly really disappointed in Coral for defending this.

Post your favorite Schaub

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Like Thomas hit 405 for 1 rep

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Tattoo Schaub

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twitch.tv/waderweidoan

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Why play with my emotions like that?

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Hey Brendan y’blockbusta Tiger is Netflix

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I’m gonna assume you have very little muscle mass then my guy, no offence

Tiger beasted her peach unironically

How long have Tiger and Joana been a thing?

Wtf why does he look so small? Like I know he's a kid but he looks abnormally small here. I really hope he doesn't end up a manlet.

see

This post right here blows my mind.

My bones are pretty narrow. It's one of the reasons why didn't succeed as a judoka too. Moreover muscles doesn't mean shit when you start to cut your weights drops no matter how muscular you are.

i.4cdn.org/wsg/1554422519066.webm

>raging al got booed 4 years ago

can you Yea Forumsergs stop making schaub threads on other boards

He just turned 3 years old, he is actually gigantic for his age

lol link it I wanna see

it's just one sperg, he's a peach though

Schaub is a renaissance man. It’s unreasonable to not expect to find his fans on every board. He covers the spectrum of entertainment. I’m actually surprised when I go to a board and don’t find a thread on schaub (so I quickly rectify it!)

Who sanctioned this fight?

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I never post about Schaub on other boards, funny enough though I see a Schaub thread on Yea Forums every night.

everyone gets mogged by Luke

Would you fuck Joana?

Prime Ngannou heems DC

If I were given the chance I would not because that is Schaub's wife and the mother of his child.

must be a coincidence bud

No
Say no more

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>2 replies

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Really makes you think.

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OOF

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>shit up /soc/
>shit up Yea Forums
You guys are too much lmao

Best general on Yea Forums and I wouldn't want it any other way. Love my brothers.

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I dont even know how to do what you are implying my guy

Not sure how more Schaub could be a bad thing for a board?

Schaub is relevant to
>Yea Forums
>/soc/
>/fit/
>Yea Forums
>/fa/
>/hm/
>/sci/
>/pol/
>Yea Forums

How is he relevant to /sci/?

Not sure how this is even a question. You know Schaub was on mythbusters for his scientific knowledge?

if i was schaubs kid id suck those tits so hard

Make a Schaub thread on /sci/ then and see how it goes.

He’s one of the proprietors of the force amplification theory

TOTAL BADASS

I don’t go on /sci/ though ynerd

Here ya go

Those are mutually exclusive things, b. How a thread goes and someone’s relevance to the board are two entirely different concepts. Make a thread about Clay Collard Greens and see it how goes, y’feel me, b?

>when you got one eye on his left, and one eye on his right

There was a girl who lived next door to me who looked similar to schaubs wife, especially in the body. within a few years she put on like 30 pounds full blown burrito body, anyway i think she got deported cause i havent seen her in a long time.

pic

i dont have any, but she was slightly darker than mrs schaub, she was like 19 at the time though

It was agreed he did bad because Eddie had been USADA'd while his opponent has been doping freely for years.

This is the thread

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I've watched 4 youtube vids today unrelated to MMA and 3 have had Proper 12 year old ads in front of them.

He must have gotten new investors.

HEYYYY YOUU GUYYYYYYSSS

Remember Tim Kennedys april fools joke of coming back to MMA and no one cared

Lmao sav

Yeah. I'll root for him as long as he's not a total nig.

Remember Brendan Schaub's story about how he beat his roommate unconscious and threw him through a glass door because he labeled his food and politely asked Brendan not to eat it?

I cared but I am a bum

>different flags
congratulations

It's unfortunate, I unironically wouldnt mind seeing him die in the octagon

not that user but if you have 4chanx hit the button next to the filename that says "wait"

He also mentioned how he took a vibrator to his asshole and sent a video to his roommate to piss him off. I don’t think Schoob knows how goofing somebody works

youtube.com/watch?t=41m14s

oops

youtube.com/watch?t=41m14s&v=CSy2HIdlD4Q

i had a schaub brain for a sec there

do you think we are watching that?

I think Schaub more than paid for those snacks in accrued CTE

Is the mandrama between conor and khabib real? Also who is your favorite favorite?

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It's that time again /heem/, it's trivia time!!!

1) What is Tiger's middle name?
A) Peter
B) Tony
C) Bryan
D) Pax

2) From what country does Lukas originate from?
A) Germany
B) Spain
C) Chile
D) Canada

3) How many teeth does Twitchy have?
A) 3
B) 5
C) 6
D) Full set of teeth

4) What is Adan Elmi most well known for?
A) Setting the table
B) Washing the dishes
C) Portioning dip
D) Spamming scat on /heem/

5) In which county is Coral Springs?
A) Palm Beach
B) Orange
B) Miami-Dade
C) Broward

Brendan Schaub is a bitch

give me the breakdown on the one they call "the hybrid."

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1. D
2. A
3. B
4. C
5. C (D?)

1.D
2.Germany
3.no idea never been on twitch 6?
4. portioning dip
5. broward? that's the jew country right

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Is he The Hybrid because of his true mixed martial arts style or his true mixed racial heritage?

i believe both. i think all americans are mutts except mini khabib and billie eilish

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who do you consider the best wmma fighter?

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I've reported the dutch prime schaub would heem ngannou spammer several thousand times to no avail. i'm at a loss for words.

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it's timestamped, bongbrain

*crickets chirping*

I need a quick RUNDOWN on Twitchy’s current status

>announcing reports
UH OH BAD NEWS FOR YOU

let the Bingo (Australian) make the new thread he needs it badly.

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WMMA is a fucking joke. They take so many roids they grow pseudopenises. It's not "Who is the best female fighter", it's "Who can become biologically male without getting caught"

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He accidentally beat his wife to death for leaving his account logged in and is currently on the run from the Las Vegas police.

not a problem ol' johnny law has issued me several thousand citations

whos spammy and why does he spam the scat/gore
t. Yea Forums-/mag/ refugee

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new thread:

he's a low iq dull domed unemployed russian rape baby living in isolation in estonia

Looks like the only thing Thomas is hitting these days is the buffet.

E-Chads heemed your general lmao

He's just another guy, also kys
Amanda Nunes (the GOAT) is natty

I looked kinda like that kid when I was 3 or something lol haha

the timestamp isn't working for me, burgerbutt

(((WMMA))) was a mistake. There've been fewer than five decent women's fights in the history of the sport.

I am so sorry you are living life as a mixed race man. It's really an unfortunate thing

fuck you

He's a tragic young man that was born without legs, and he spams because it's the only semblance of power he can ever hope to attain in life. As for why he chooses scat? I can only speculate in this, but I'd guess it's because he has issues getting up and using the toilet/wiping (either due to his lack of legs or his obesity), so he wants others to feel the same pain that he does every day. Also, he has an obsession with bloodyelbow because they banned him too. That's everything you need to know.

Dana said it's the best decision he's ever made though

Looks like you're carrying around a lot of baggage, friend.

would lick

The way he looks at his ass while he does it seems atypical. It looks very deliberate and sexual.

Your mother will die within the next 24 hours unless you enter the /box/ thread and type "boxing is for fucking autists":

Your mother will die within the next 24 hours unless you enter the /box/ thread and type "boxing is for fucking autists":

I always thought Lucas and spammy are the same person

They are, the guy literally talks to himself on here LMAO isnt that sad?

Cumulative IQ: 532

if you read this post your mother is safe and spain continues to get BLACKED

i am sorry

They're good friends, but two separate people. As for Lukas, he doesn't come around here much anymore after 231. The German that you see here often that posts pictures of Jade Rivera, Eugene Robinson, Twitchy, etc. is some guy on a proxy that pretends to be the real Lukas.

It's all so tiresome. Why people won't just discuss mma

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How do we feel about River vs Yan?

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It's amazing that we all called it, too. Dana called it. We all knew WMMA would be hot fuckin trash but THEY forced it on us.

Look at that bullshit now. Never been worse never been more pointless. Half these bitches get fake tits and shack up with a man the second they get any money. The rest of them join the goddamn circus when they lose once or twice.

WMMA was, is, and forever will be, a goddamn mistake.

have sex

mma discussion is very sparse save for when there's news/actual fights on. otherwise this place is shitposts and literal shitposts from the sperg. it is what it is man
Rivera is flushed but I'm not sold on the Yan meme, flip a coin tb h

how did brendan meet joe rogan?

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Lmfao this fuckin pic is wild.

It's the fate of generals. Realistically, we do not need a thread up 24/7 for MMA. It doesn't make sense, next 2 weeks there's no real big cards, news will leak here and there but for the most part nothing is really going to happen
So people end up shitposting, and over time people start to recognise other posters and then with that familiarity some people crave attention, so they try to stand out in any way they can, be it spamming, posting about themselves, or whatever gimmick they have. This attracts others to do the same and you end up with a shithole. /heem/ was fine at first, but as the sport grew and the cazzies came, we ended up here.

Rumor is that Joe was interviewing Brendan after a fight, Brendan squeezed Joe's ass, Joe then told Brendan to "stop by his hotel room later", and the rest is history.

Shut up Luke

You could just not come here u whny dork

It makes sense. See you guys in a week

We'll be here, take care bud

Who is “Lukas”?

Wake up, Kelvin.

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Heem Ngannou primes Schuab

pillowfist pissrael couldn't even heem an ancient anderson who stood right in front of him. he'll win the decision though

>implying it's gonna happen
I want Izzy to win so he can eventually get Heem'd by Bobby but Fatslum is gonna do a massive spic swing and punch him back to Kenya.

Prime Chuck heems Jones

i invented /heem/, i have to be here

I made this post the other day, thank you for reinforcing it with those quads

I bought /heem/ two years ago you fucking liar. You know damn well you can leave any time you please.

That's probably an accurate assessment. I think Johnny Walker could knock him out with some meme move though since Luke's chin has already been cracked.

This is true. Prime Iceman wouldn't stop moving forward.

What do you value /heem/ at right now? I'll buy it tonight.

And Dana never tries to brush off his mistakes, does he?

I duped you and sold you the Yea Forums /heem/. You got tricked bro.

This nigger gets it.

If I have to watch another couple of dykes fight to a boring, meaningless decision, I'm gonna fuckin' lose it.

What's it matter? There's no turning back. WMMA now and forever

I invented Britian. /heem/, and technically speaking this poster ()
by extension, is one of my subsidiaries. I also invented Canada so I own all his posting rights as well.

Nah Alvarez is a bum who shouldn’t have ever been champ.

Askren was out

I called it Yan champ by 2020

Gaethje fight was shit

100%

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Were operating at significant losses. Hemorrhaging money every hour of every day. We're the subject of multiple lawsuits that aren't looking good and several jannies are demanding promised severance packages that I can't deliver.

It's yours for a cool $15m cash if you buy it tonight.

1 who
2 who
3 who
4 who
5 no idea

There's nothing wrong with WMMA on its own, there's just too much of it like in every other division. 125 has a full top 15 and two dozen unranked fighters

Cope harder faggot.

Ben has the funkiest chin in the division, maybe even the entire UFC. He wasn't even close to going out, he was letting Robbie rage his energy away. Look at how Robbie's body completely gave out when he was being choked. That was entirely due to him blowing his wad in that first minute.

Some German lad that liked Ortega

It's time to let it go

where is the value?

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Based

There's only 4-5 female fighters on the roster worth a shit, it's garbage. At least male cans can provide bangers and heems.

why would you post this?

Why is bare knuckle boxing full of more mma people than boxers? Couldn’t a halfway competent boxer just main event every card and destroy everyone?

>Y-yang? w-what are you doing here, thought we agreed on the money for the fighters...next week.

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lack of gloves sort of makes it closer to mma striking than boxing.
In boxing you use the bigger gloves for defence, parries, blocks etc. It changes the striking dramatically.

Ovince

Boxers aren't into it because you're not allowed to strap a couple of memory foam pillows to your fists.

Gaethje fight was not shit, he literally destroyed Barboza, that KO was a thing of beauty

Is it worth adding BJJ to my MT background or is it a waste since I can never learn to wrestle like muricans

The only thing he destroyed was his eye

heeminder gaychee got flushed by canvarez and peahead. he's a one dimensional can albeit a very entertaining one

you don't live in america, so yes

Salty cuckolds

I just wish Tony and Khabib would fight so I can know if wrasslin of BJJ is superior

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I wonder what Nicco Montano is up to these days

Whittaker is the best wrestler in MMA and he started off as a memey karate shitter

Tony is a wrestler, just learn BJJ what are you trying to be a pro or something strikers can still do well in mma if you can get up off your back

Scarfin dicks, for sure my guy

sipping firewater and getting railed by white boys

Just look at Edgar vs Penn. Or Chael vs Silva. Or Cain vs Werdum. Or Colby vs Maia. Any of those should give you a solid answer.

>salty
I'm simply stating a fact. He's been heemed by cans, he is therefor a csn himself

csn? seething cuck

Gooby needs to shut the fuck up before he gets jihaded dude

worked

new

vanilla midgets like yourself can only work your pecker on friday nights

hit the weights, take a shower, and get a clue

That's a good point, how the fuck did a juiced olympian not wrestlefuck his shit

Doing ammys for MT but open to having an ammy MMA fight one day. I just like training for the fun of it

Thanks. Totally forgot about Maia vs Colby, kinda proves wrestlefucking is superior

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n-nani