/cric/

literally no one gives a fuck

classic lardo, the topic of cricket at school gets brought up and he becomes extremely agitated as he's never been within 100 km of a cricket bay before and he immediately tries to change the topic

That’s classic mate, absolutely classic

don't think I'm ever going to fall in love, marry and start a family

umm, think you might want to revise that opinion m8

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the absolute state of /cric/ in 2019

>falls in love with the first girl who smiles at me
Zhmmm

HE IS IMITATING JADEJA!!!!!

Seriously lads. Can you imagine having to face that superior American willow? Folded thousands of times to enhance its strength. I shudder at the prospect of such unitful batting.

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ummm..ya nah swewty

sounds like zachy falling for the mormons and letting them take turns bumming him while scarfing down banistas

same lad

I'm unable to differentiate between genuine feelings and something I've built up in my head

just mattposted a finn off /adv/ lads

You don't even know who Matt is you fat cunt

*furiously scans the archives*

YOU are ABSOLUTELY FURIOUS that you will NEVER be as relevant as I am.

kek, stay pathetic you disgusting manlet.

Please reply to this with YET ANOTHER furious post.

glad to see /cric/ is finally adapting the rule for maximum efficiency

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brothers stupid dog killed a bluey that was living in my folks backyard for years

was seething when mum told me

why do you give a shit

dogs can be knobs like that, love lizardbros and native birdbros

*crack*
*sip*
>/cric/kino presents: Shazam!
WOW, lads, what a display of mediocrity with occasional humour. it's like they took a phase one marvel movie and applied phase three marvel humour to it. don't know WHY this has such a high score on rotten tomatoes, it should be around 60% at best. i'd totally fuck mary though.
rating: 5/10, somehow worse that aquaman

only middling IQ pseudos think pavement are boring generic indie trash, true brainstars understand how high IQ they actually are

Imagine seeing enough superhero movies that you're able to conflate two "phases" of superhero movies in order to explain a new superhero movie.

yes but legs

*slaughters a muscular 568 lawmen and capitalists (10 hours)*

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shut the FUCK up seetho b

support the return of this gimmick

got a really fucking good haircut yesterday

looking extremely masculine

*does three spicy taco bells shits (1 hour)

based
gonna go get one on friday after work
its always hit or miss with me, fingers crossed

good understanding of rhythm melody and texture sure

find a lot of their songs quite shit though, some absolute gems mixed in with shit eg Two States vs Loretta's Scars

need to find a good place I reckon, some barbers are just never going to give you a good cut ever

Hope zachy falls ill with a horrible stomach flu caused by exposure to cold banistas his mormon friends foraged for in a dumpster and he goes into in excruciating coma but nobody gives him medical attention because he can't afford it and nobody particularly cares much about him so he lays silently in agony until it reaches a critical pain mass where he is able to throw up but this results in choking on his own vomit to finally end his misery

love loretta’s scars desu

I guess they never miss, huh?

timezones are such bullshit
why doesnt everyone just use the same time and we can all watch the cricket together at a reasonable hour

the circadian rhythm is such bullshit
why doesnt everyone just sleep whenever some arbitrary number tells them to regardless of how dark it is and we can all watch some sporting event from the other side of the planet together at an arbitrary time

pure banger

huge fan of the three song run of Perfume V, Flame Throwa and Jackles; probably my favourite bit of the album. if I were in a band I'd base my sound off jackles, great guitar tones there

everyone knows why time zones exist you fat cunt he was joking
absolute fucking mong it's true what they say about Americans and humour

Terror Twilight is actually alright
some interesting ideas there

Certain man ITT eating the house down

I like it way more than crooked rain overall

Fun fact: Tucson is the home to some of the most self made millionaires in American. Interestingly, they are all managers of Taco Bell restaurants.

yeah not as overtly commercial is it, no Cut Your Hair on this album

late night banger lads?

youtube.com/watch?v=iqu132vTl5Y

KEK

adulthood is realising crooked rain is pavements worst album

really got the blood pumping this post did thanks lad

the original Twilight Zone sucked shit sorry. Can't imagine how bad this new visual torture chamber is

might fuck around and just abandon everything and live in a commune in the hills of a Greek island

The Prisoner is much riper for a remake, could skewer a ton of modern life with it.

Zachy did you read the case about your hometown I posted last thread?

nah I didn’t but it seemed interesting, remind me to read at some point

*reminds you*

haven't really listened to new music properly since 2015

love tea

have an uncanny ability to spark up friendship with men twice, sometimes three times my age. Think it’s just because i’m a based furtiristic free thinker and i don’t subscribe to primitive age categorisations

based flirty twink

stop dying

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shall be investing in the bitcoin bull run

swear down if I ever die i’m Gonna be WELL pissed off

youtu.be/G-l5Hn5hUuI
Thoughts lads?

speakpipe.com/voice-recorder/msg/z5ywxbte4d0rrdtz

ahem
DESPITE BEING 13% OF /CRIC/ POSTERS, SEBBO MAKES UP 50% OF THEIR MASS

seriously had to stop at about 5 seconds

utter garbage

Zachy in fine form tonight

a return to the 2016 heyday on the cards

*be’s a broad shouldered middle class Englishman*

not the greatest thing I've ever heard tßh, and I doubt there's any lean in that cup.

reminder high energy shitposting should be an Olympic sport

the special Olympics aren't the proper Olympics

might play something off my back foot without moving my feet lmao

based Pete Handscomb

*does a propa on 456 corporate slaves (45 hours)*

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based not catching on forced meme bro

>based not catching on forced meme bro

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EPIC FUCKEN WOJAK VARIATION BRO!!!!!!

whats some of your favorite /cric/ memes over the years lads

mine would be

just bowled a yorker lads
or
Will smith make 100.., Will Smith is an actor mate lol

or cant go passed
is David Warner related to Michael Vaughaner

I bet you didn't even get 100 Likes.

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for me, it’s the mark vermeuelen cop killer gimmick

just shitting on danny, despite realising he'll probably end up better in life due to rich parents

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big fan of Marky V the Hannibal of Harare

Kill The Police, Kill, Kill, Kill The Police
A bullet to them, or a knife to go through them
I said Kill The Police, Kill, Kill, Kill The Police

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Rights for gays

>villains who were the heroes all along

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Millions of Dead Prosper Utseyas

For me it’s 4,000,988,911 dead cops

parent*
his mum was old money, his dad was a poor alcoholic gambler who died early if I remember properly

I like the funny pictures, I'm not writing his biography or anything nigga

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This was funny

slobbo leaves and the thread becomes comfy
wish every day could be like based this

might give my mum a ring tomorrow lads

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sensing the planting of cricketing seeds in Khartoum

SPIRIT OF MY SILENCE

>the dugout
Might as well name it whiteys with no shame that still need IPL handout money

Mankads in Mauritius

used to listen Carrie & Lowell every morning when I was as an extremely depressed wagecuck

why does Yea Forums have such a soft spot for horrendous indiefolk?

This is the thread.

sick of this south australian boomer

nothing but horrible opinions
>Parquet Courts are a Beck rip off

perfect length in Plovdiv

my favourite /cric/ post was to the effect of

>I want Ian Chappell commentating me having sex with my girlfriend, saying "She should have swallowed that"

well spotted tßh, but that song WAS a Beck rip-off. Not fair to say that about their entire oeuvre though. That's a Strokes rip-off

Peep Show s 1-4
the test cricket of modern comedies

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Are you me?

lmao
straight up minutemen knockoff more like youtu.be/jESSg24szAo

don't think you know much about music mate

I’m literally so much like Jeremy from peep show that it’s not even funny

New episode of Off Menu podcast lads
Recommended it highly

a talentless stoner mooch?

yeah

me too

dream market closed its doors, and I think that is a hint for me to stop ordering drugs off the internet and sort my life out

hang on, I'm cooking dinner and have to watch to pot, let me get back in 20 to refute this specious claim

test cricket 3039

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based

ahem
SHALL be managing the avengers XI lads, here's the batting order
>stark
>rogers
>odinson
>strange
>quill
>lang
>rhodes
>barton
>wilson
>banner
>barnes
>parker (12th man)

this is a capeshit free general

would help but I don't know anything about superheroes, find the whole business very gay to be honest with you

this Begum girl is just pathetic
clear she only left because ISIS had shit healthcare

will help by taking the reins of the avengers female XI
>gamora
>romanoff
>maximoff
>danvers
>valkyrie
>nebula
>mantis
>van dyne
>shuri
>okoye
>potts
>hill (12th woman)

>watches Adam Curtis once

might convert to the church of Latter Day Saints lads, been a degenerate free loving fool throughout my twenties and it’s got me literally nowhere except e-celeb status on //cric/

It's hailing it down lads

*mandolin*
>muh feelings of rejection
*obscure variant of the ukulele that is in fact just a ukulele*
>muh feelings, someone died
*lap steel*
>muh feelings (Ben Harper edition)
*tambourine*
>dance feelings, but I'm less sad because of (insert pretty girl)

bonus points if they tour with The National. God they are shit.

thor is the capeshit mascot of /cric/.

honestly these lads creep my out, but i always leave them in my garden when i see them nonetheless.

really dont want to lose my hair lads. been taking fina for two weeks and havent noticed a drop in my sex drive or problems getting hard, but apparently it can cause up to 15% oestrogen increase which im not too sure how i feel about

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I mean, a 15% increase isn't huge, especially if your nominal estrogen level is small on an absolute scale. If you understand how the steroid cycle works, though, it just makes sense that blocking 5-alpha-reductase would result in some increase in estrogen; the regular testosterone that isn't acted upon by 5-alpha-reductase will either get metabolized as regular testosterone or get acted upon by aromatase and become estrogen (or get acted upon by some more obscure enzyme and converted into some more obscure steroid). I'd be willing to bet the percentage increase is inversely related to your baseline estrogen levels; in other words, it's likely just going to be a small boost in estrogen rather than something that'd compound an already high estrogen level and make things worse.

What I've always thought is weird though is why fin and related drugs isn't coupled with an aromatase inhibitor (i.e., so your T doesn't turn into estrogen either). I'm guessing there might be some reason why men need some estrogen, or it has to do with the selectivity of fin vs the AI compound; since neither is 100% effective, it's possible that more effectively blocking aromatase might lead to less effective blockade of 5-alpha-reductase.

I'd talk to an endocrinologist about how the steroid cycle works here and what effects you might expect from increased estrogen.

>What I've always thought is weird though is why fin and related drugs isn't coupled with an aromatase inhibitor
probs the spike in estrogen isnt enough to warrant taking yet another drug id imagine.

want to stick it in a vag lads

Same, haven't had sex for months. I'd get a hooker but i never EVER leave the house so if i did suddenly everyone would ask where the fk im going and i dont know how id even answer.

test

dht serves literally no known purpose in fully developed adult males. All it does post puberty is make their prostates swole and make them go bald.This is pretty much scientific fact

This isn't exactly true. The drug form of DHT apparently has legitimate usage in adults, as well as a role in doping by bodybuilders. It's described as weakly anabolic but highly androgenic, but it definitely has anabolic effects.

Paradoxically, it was apparently studied in the last couple decades as a *treatment* for BPH, which based on everything I know about DHT makes no goddamn sense. But it reached phase II trials in Australia, so... there must have been some sound biological model behind it. Might be worth some reading.

How do I become a better fielder? How do I get over my fear of the ball?

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Play catch with a cricket ball.

Sell it to me user what's the appeal of test cricket over one day or T20?

youtu.be/a-obkVyHdxo

The fact that the weather and the pitch play such a significant role

take more balls to the face

crickettimes.com/2019/04/virat-kohli-harmanpreet-kaur-and-co-to-feature-in-a-mixed-gender-t20-match/
Uh, lads?

Oh lord. First Ireland get a team and now this

mumbai indians will win it all

>csk players except for jaddu are kinda slow

Kane Williamson
Martin Guptill
Henry Nicholls
Ross Taylor
Tom Latham
Colin Munro
Tom Blundell
Colin de Grandhomme
Mitchell Santner
Jimmy Neesham
Ish Sodhi
Matt Henry
Lockie Ferguson
Tim Southee
Trent Boult.

At least the squad is settled?

Attached: 2017.png (1214x670, 207K)

For me, it’s the grand hom

>At least the squad is settled
settled at the bottom of their group? sure

>crickettimes.com/2019/04/virat-kohli-harmanpreet-kaur-and-co-to-feature-in-a-mixed-gender-t20-match/
YOU. JUST. KNOW

Just got in from work, how’s it going cric bros

bit going on here innit bla x

shut up sebbo you uncanny umberto

Sebbo you fat cunt

Think some of the rooms on Badi must be scams. It cannot be 170 a month to live in a limehouse new build with no bills

No way! An online letting platform having fraudulent listings? Who would do such a thing?

I dunno mate but I really want to move out of twickenham

just practice really no magic answer

Move to east croydon or something, cheap and only 20 mins commute

Don’t want to pay for travel kid
Want to be able to walk to Bermondsey

hate how for any topic, from cricket to hair loss to the london real estate market, this fat cunt who likely has never left Arizona in his life must pretend to be an expert on it

>pretend

I'm from London, moved to the US about 5 years ago (not Arizona)

Is it true what they say about londontown? Is it really paved with gold?

What happened to the computer science degree? Was that before or after you were in London? You're a pathological liar and mentally ill. Seek help, I'm sure you can find a shrink on the same block as a weightwatchers.

>fat schizophrenic dogeater
big grim from me

>(not Arizona)

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What's wrong with this kiwi dude?

Can someone post the RC copypasta, I'm pretty sure fatguts lies can top even that hilarity.

What kinda proof do you need that i'm not the guy you think I am?

He's literally on RENT FREE watch

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kek, genuinely worried about his sanity at this point.

Take your own advice mate. You're trying to hang your hat on some assertion that a time range between earliest and latest posts equates to a solid block of full-time posting that prevents one from doing anything else. The fact that you can even claim to know my "typical" posting hours is hilariously obsessive. A true testament to my living rent free in your pea-size skull cavity.

I get it. You can't comprehend that a guy of my age and in my profession could enjoy fucking around on here talking about cricket. Fact of the matter is the law isn't glamorous or uniform as the "true crime" TV shows your mum watches make it out to be. A lot of us don't go to court more than once every few months. A lot of us make our money doing transactional work, like real estate closings.

I mean, fuck me, let's even assume my activity schedule is what you assert it to be. So what? You've got an assertion followed by a conclusion with no explanation to connect the two. Law often isn't a 9-5 job. It certainly isn't in my case.

And again, what the fuck does any of that have to do with me being or not being a lawyer? Do you not know what a lawyer is?

I am disheartened by the cynicism on display in this thread. I have no doubt that Reality Check has:
-created a $40 million dollar empire from nothing but Satanism and a high school education
-gotten over the tragic death of his sister overseas.
-gotten over the tragic death of his parents in a car crash (just like James Bond!)
-studied in the field on Biology (Neurology included) for longer than the average PhD student does (over 15 years)
-given up a promising AFL footballer due to a "terrible" injury
-bested his hero Matthew Lloyd in a one-on-one match-up and was able to befriend his hero due to their mutual respect despite the aforementioned "terrible" injury.
-was a "semipro" soccer player for Gosford City, but no longer has interest in the sport due to a lack to interest. He still has intimate knowledge of the game regardless.
-risen to the top of the Melbourne, and thus Australian advertising industry (just like Todd Sampson!) without a hint of formal education in the area.
-intimidated and humiliated former Australian cricket captain, and living legend Ricky Ponting
-single-handedly come up with the Rhonda and Ketut AAMI advertising campaign, but it was stolen off him.
-mastered a dozen languages and is conversational in another dozen.
-become a celebrated DJ at Melbourne's 'Heat' nightclub
-exiled due to issues with the ATO
-paid AUD$3 million dollars to end his exile
-placed in numerous "illegal street races" in his adopted home of Indonesia
-taken part in local discussions solving disputes between muslims and christians
-had sexual intercourse with Helena from My Kitchen Rules
-helped fund a new local soccer stadium
-hunted sharks to help feed the locals
-hosted a Christmas party for a local Orphanage
-has a direct lineage to Machiavelli
-committed suicide on the 9th of January 2016
-admitted it was a ruse to throw off the AFP on the 14th
-is an advocate of pseudoscience (MBTI), despite being a man of science
I, for one, don't need proof. I have faith.

not even half the narratives RC has pushed over the years, he really was something else

sebbo is now furiously searching the archive for Reality Check posts

>-risen to the top of the Melbourne, and thus Australian advertising industry (just like Todd Sampson!) without a hint of formal education in the area.
Con Stavros teaches at RMIT

the aborted child narrative was the best part of the Indonesian arc and I'm disappointed it didn't make the cut here

I can't take the smile off my face right now. Sorry if I worried anyone here with my last post, it was just a small ruse to try and throw off the POLRI who had found my location and were seeking my arrest. Needless to say I've had to cut off all internet activity for the past week or so. I'm not in my paradise island anymore, I had to sell my ship getting way unders for it, but at this point it was better than taking a risk and making a break for it in international waters. Even if I stocked it up with supplies I wouldn't last any more than a year out there and I would "literally" want to kill myself.

To the AFP, hard fucking luck you cock smoking public "serving" faggots. You won't catch me and I will continue to stick it to you online every day of the week. I can "literally" imagine your tears of buttfrustration, cursing the POLRI for being incompetent fucks when you had no idea how many people in there I had paid off to keep an eye on me.

I'm not going to post much on here until I get to Japan, and I WILL fucking get there no matter how much of your tax dollars the feds choose to squander on hunting me down.

Anyway I've been a little isolated from outside events occurring at the moment, heard about what happened today in Jakarta obviously, found out about that ridiculous CAS ruling just a few moments ago, but don't really give a shit. Fill me in on the latest developments in international cricket please, not that big pleb league rubbish.

miss him lads

youtu.be/kTo05jh6w_E
My lads.

his letter to Straffo titled "I am here to help you fix your life" was my favourite RC moment

Reality check is straffo.

working in a lab (for real) lads

eating in a taco bell (for real) lads

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just want to make history as the first /cric/ person in a lab to say that sebbo is fat

So true

Taco Bell literally tastes like shit, mad to think it’s all certain man ITT eats

banh mi thit with roasted gammon, ham, steamed pork and pate on the cards

have what is undoubtedly the most cultured palette on /cric/

Phở, бopщ, the list goes on

*be's examining the federal budget*

lmao Barnaby Joyce's wife is now a body builder what the fuck is going on lads

Grim

State of country women

would rather not have this slice of information in my head

is this achievable natty?

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Well,Can you?

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>when you put your pizza in the oven and forget about it

tipping there's a Mohammed mixed in there

Hello :D

instagram.com/habbatron/p/Bv0b1cOgO3o

another installment from /our guy/

you now remember Roland Belford

Start fielding at silly mid-off or short leg

Didendorsing Bernie sanders after his wrong tweet on Venezuela lads

chat.whatsapp.com/FRUy8kEoqGbGGZcBqYtco6

Reminder to join

met him briefly at a uni event

feel slightly groggy lads not gonna lie

u ok brother?

respect you for your honesty