We're bringing it back

>flat
Nothing wrong with that.
>broad-shouldered
That's a small price for that massive thigh gap.

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>Nothing wrong with that.
There's everything wrong with it, you horrible kraut. Thank God we won't be united with you people anymore by next week.

How long till Takakeisho makes Yokozuna?

>Every wrestler in...
...the 4 divisions that contain the most rikishi don't get paid shit. The stable owners tell the kids and the parents everything they want to hear then fuck them out of every last possible yen they can. Combine that with the shitty treatment they all get and it's not hard to figure out why a rikishi would be willing to sell his wins. The shitty slave-tier system they have in place is just asking for crookery and disgruntled rikishi and stable owners alike.

>the 4 divisions that contain the most rikishi don't get paid shit
Sure, but they're not gonna be fixing matches for the big bucks either. They don't even have such a thing as 7-7 results since they don't wrestle every day. Match fixing is realistically only worth something in makunouchi.

indisputable goat

>they're not gonna be fixing matches
Until they get to juryo after how many years of putting up with bullshit and little cash in the lower divisions. Once you hit juryo, it's time to make some money baby!

Hakuho looking like he's Kisenosatoing himself
His injury didn't seem like something he can just rest off

How were you on wrestling mongoloid?

Is Tochinoshin natty?

Will /ourguy/ Takayasu ever make yokozuna?

Probably not
Probably not

Based Mongolchad!

i would oshidashi you

The internet is dead. (((They))) have control now.

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Looks like a problem on your end of things /pol/-kun, you probably search for too much pornography

Wtf uses google to search for porn? What are you, 12?

Is this where all the Hakuhochads post? Just want to laugh at Takayasu getting mogged so hard he shrank and hunchbacked like a fucking geek keeping his shit from overflowing out at the presence of HakuGod

With 4 first-time winners since last year the Hakuho era was already coming to a close. Time for the young guns to step up

Ah, and there it is, the obligatory Googlebot blaming the user instead of the corporation. Lick those boots and maybe they will spare you.

CUT MY LIFE INTO PIECES

youtu.be/2q6jNSvKmDo
Oof

Isn't face slapping allowed though?

Yes, but it's considered "undignified" for a Yokozuna. Much like a side-step / henka at the initial charge.

Is making your opponent sniff your nuts with a false start dignified for a Yokozuna?

No. They get pissy about that too.

Japanese are like women in that they get cunty when you don't do what your're "supposed" to do despite the fact there's no rules against what you actually DO do. It's basically "you should know better" type of shit.

But he did it like 4 times.

And they do bitch about it but can't do anything more. It's not like they will strip their GOAT out of the title.

And he'll get a stern talking to and strongly worded letter from the JSA about it too I'm sure. G'damn Mongorians.

Have we talked about this yet

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Some faggot? Why would we?

>In a few hours, two representatives of the NSK will arrive at Chiganoura beya, wearing formal kimono, and formally inform Takakeisho of his promotion to Ozeki.
This will be the highest promotion he will ever achieve.

>No. They get pissy about that too.
The really faggoty thing about it is that if Hakuho were ethnically Japanese they'd be beyond assmad that FRIP DISRESPECTU GRAND CHAMPU and send Takayasu the angry letter instead.

The winning match

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What's that supposed to be? Baruto is married with kids.

honestly i fancy my chances against hakuho lads

he can't possibly be ready for my technique or determination reckon i would overwhelm him quickly

TV show called "My Brother's Husband"

>Takakeisho promoted to ozeki
Headbutt to your face bitches!

japantimes.co.jp/sports/2019/03/27/sumo/takakeisho-promoted-ozeki/

>he doesn't appreciate /dfc/

Isn't he already the smallest ozeki ever?
That's a pretty big achievement already, even if the doesn't go up anymore.

BTW someone explain to me the East-West thing. Guys grouped into West side always face East side, or what? Could one simply never face Hakuho, or any other ridiculously strong fighter, if he was thrown into the same side, or does it have no real meaning/is mixed for every tournament?
Thanks in advance!

East is higher than the equivalent West, ie W9 > E10 > W10.

Neat. Thanks mate.

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>Someone saved my image
Neat

yeah poldi is fucking based

>Isn't he already the smallest ozeki ever?
I don't know about "ever", but he's the shortest ozeki today.
>explain to me the East-West thing.
The sun shines first on the east, then the west, so they break the division ranks in half with the better fighters on the east side signifying that the fighters are "first" at a given rank. So Yokozuna 1 east is considered stronger than the Yokozuna 1 west slot, but both would be stronger than the Yokozuna 2 east and so on down the line.
>Could one simply never face Hakuho, or any other ridiculously strong fighter
Fighters don't fight anyone from the same stable unless it's a playoff, so nobody from Hakuho's stable has to deal with him outside of a playoff.

>pic related
Takakeisho at his promotion ceremony with his parents. His momma is gorgeous....

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>Fighters don't fight anyone from the same stable unless it's a playoff, so nobody from Hakuho's stable has to deal with him outside of a playoff.
I think he meant do East and West never fight.

Is Tochinoshin demoted then? Wasn't he Kadoban this tournament?

Yes, but if he gets 10 wins next tournament he will be back (though he would need a Jesus doctor).

Well, as remarked earlier he did look to be in much better shape this basho than the last one, so hopefully the less obscene opposition at the Sekiwake rank will let him rank back up.

Would be cool to have four ozeki desu, I miss when there were four active yokozuna and a couple ozeki on top

What would it take for a demotion from Sekiwake?

A 7-8 losing record, or worse, would kick him down the ladder a bit, if not out of Sanyaku ranks and back to maegasura.

If he lands 10 victories, that's good enough to make his Ozeki back.

If he lands 8-9 victories, then he stays at Sekiwake and has to start all over to make Ozeki, meaning 33 wins in 3 tournaments with a better than 10 victory margin each.

That should be close to the scenarios and results he could face. I think his knee is fucked and he's just milking time at this point.

Fatpush is not a sport

At first I thought so too but then I looked it up more.

Do not denigrate bestling, frog

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Neither is losing wars.

He probably agrees with you on that one – for the French, losing wars is not a game but a way of life.

Nah, we've made a sport out of losing after WWII since we can't be bothered to commit to shit anymore other than making rich people richer. The U.S. army and government couldn't even defend itself against faggots and feminists.

It's fun though

I know I can't be the first person to think of this, but haven't sumo's ever tried playing in the NFL as offensive linemen? seems like they would be pretty good at that.

>seems like they would be pretty good at that.
Wakanohō Toshinori made it all the way up to maegasure 1 before getting booted for possession of cannabis less than 4 years into his Sumo career, and less than 2 years in the sekitori ranks.

He managed to make it to the states and tried out for college teams in Florida and the NFL. He sucked.

>The results were underwhelming. Soslan, still more than 400 pounds, ran the 40-yard dash in nine seconds. To put his time in perspective, an NFL team won't so much as sniff a lineman who doesn't run the 40 somewhere in much more than five seconds. "Big, fat, pretty slow for football," Soslan remembers Singletary telling him.

You can't just be big and strong in football, you have to be fast and have endurance too, which is exceptionally rare in big dudes. Sumo is still caught up in the "fat = weight = good", which amazingly enough was disproved by the NFL itself back in the 70's and 80's. I bet quite a few NFL players could land 8-7's in makuchi based solely on their speed and strength, while a Sumo couldn't last a set of down without passing out due to lack of oxygen.

boruto

Yokuzuna Wakanohana tried after he retired. Failed. At 30, he would have had to have been superhuman to compete with the 22-23 year old college kids for a slot.

The handful of Mongolians that have totally dominated the last 15 years are all a little on the lighter side. Unfortunately I don't think there's a way for sumo training to get with the times without losing the traditional elements that make the sport appealing

They change "tradition" all the time, enough to say that changing "tradition" is tradition. With a new Imperial period, now would be a great time for them to pull their heads out of their asses and look at making the sport more appealing to Japanese, and safer for the rikishi. That can be done while maintaining the spirit of the tradition.

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Goeido's gonna have some stiff competition for second place

Cheers, mate.

I did, but that stable trivia is kewl too.

This seems interesting. When is the next big tournament?

May. They're every other month, starting with January. 15 days, one bout per rikishi per day.

7 different winners in the last 9 tournaments. Makes a nice change from Hakuhowinslol

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>7 different winners in the last 9 tournaments.

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Is this the math they teach in Italy? It's six winners over 8/9 tournaments or seven over 10.

Holding out for a 5-yusho streak for Hakuho this year desu

Imagine Hakuho winning every match this year.

well he has already lost
he will never win all six tournament in the same year like Asashoryu

I forgot that it isn't January. Where did the time go, bros?

2020 Hakuho 6 wins everything 15-0 by knockout with forearm charge

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That also gives him the 65-win streak that he's missing.

Between the weight and the years of wear and tear, the only real option for these guys is fighting. Nobody else pays you if you suck

I miss Harumafuji

Hijacking the GOAT's thread to bring to you news that Futahaguro, the 60th yokozuna, turned pro wrestler turned MMA fighter and possibly the worst one of all time, died on 10th Feb due to renal failure.

F

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>Kisenosato
Huh? Where did this guy go?

Also, mad props to my man Harumafuji, banging wins every now and then since 2009.

Well, Akebono used to make a fool out of himself in K1 back in the day too.

>>Kisenosato
>Huh? Where did this guy go?
He retired and is now Araiso Oyakata.

Who bankrolled him for his Association stock, anyway? Do we know? Did he have enough money stashed away from his abortive yokozuna career? That seems really improbable.

>Did he have enough money stashed away from his abortive yokozuna career?
Watch him in the couple years before Yokozuna, he was making a lot.

youtu.be/RH7vlapbx2g
F

Don't die on me while I sleep.

They should modernize their pits so they aren't fucking up wrestlers for stupid shit like falling out the damn ring. New Emperor, new Sumo upgrades.

This is funny as shit

Supposedly NHK wanted to use the show to warm its conservative audience up to all the gay athletes coming in the Tokyo Olympics

>They should modernize
no

Yes, they should, and in this case, they should "modernize" by going BACK to when they fought on plain old dirt that wasn't elevated 3 feet off the ground for no fucking reason other than to destroy rikishi. It's not like they've got Japanese beating down the door of the Heya to get in these days, so breaking the rikishi you do have is just stupid.

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Has anyone ever gotten crushed to death by a flying wrestler

I know of broken bones, but don't of any KIA's.

At a minimum they should lay mats on the outside of the dohyo and extend them out to about 6 feet beyond where the judges and rikishi sit. They could cover them with like some traditional tatami or some shit. We see rikishi fly out of the ring and into the first couple of rows every single basho, and rikishi, gyoji, refs, and spectators alike have all been injured as a result. There's no need for that shit, nor would it violate "tradition" to make changes for safety.

The fact that you put tradition in quotes means your opinion is worthless.

I suppose the envelopes filled with cash are "tradition", right? Just like the advertisement banners they parade around the ring is "tradition" too.

They're not. Neither is a raised dohyo. They were made traditional. That's how "traditions" work.

Ichinojo will win the next basho

I think he's going to have a much tougher time next basho as people might actually do something other than fall victim to his slap down.

I agree, but it'll be an easier path to the top with all the top guys banged up. Who knows if Hakuho will even compete