/mls/ general - Master tacticians edition (now with more /ayy/ and /wog/)

/usmnt/ and /mls/ are the same thing subedition
Next person to say that Gregg doesn't know what he's doing will be reported to MLS dot com for crossing the line.

All times reported are in EST
>Saturday, March 23rd
FC Dallas vs. Colorado Rapids (5:55 PM)
New York Red Buls vs. Orlando City SC (7:30 PM)
Philadelphia Union vs. Columbus Crew (7:30 PM)
Los Angeles FC vs. Real Salt Lake City (10:30 PM)
>Sunday, March 24th
New England Revolution vs. FC Cincinnati (4:00 PM)
Canada men's national team vs. French Guiana (6:00 PM) (i don't care if you don't care, because i care)
>Tuesday, March 26th
United States men's national team vs. Chile (7:55 PM)

>USL
www.uslsoccer.com/usl-schedule
>NWSL
www.nwslsoccer.com/schedule
>A-League
a-league.com.au
>CanPL
canpl.ca

Previous:

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Other urls found in this thread:

twitter.com/Kevin_Kinkead/status/1109188254463598593
eightninetv-com.ml/live.php?v=Cayman Islands vs Montserrat&c=NORTH AMERICA: CONCACAF Nations League - Qualification&m=soccer
si.com/soccer/2018/06/12/germany-federation-dfb-world-cup-san-jose-earthquakes-mls
docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScyTsfU_XPQswsnW9bVwvneCDugqzfbeUMYgz5j5RSPtOJt_Q/viewform
soccerhdtv.xyz/2019/03/24/400p-et-new-england-revolution-vs-fc-cincinnati-live-streaming/
twitter.com/DynamicFoxtrot/status/1110221120882520066?s=19
youtube.com/watch?v=kPoruNNWvAA
twitter.com/24thminute/status/1110272887540408325
bbc.com/sport/av/football/47712560
theguardian.com/football/2019/mar/27/usmnt-ticket-prices-soccer-usa-chile
m.youtube.com/watch?v=hMr3KtYUCcI
twitter.com/NSFWRedditImage

>soon

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Martinez will score a hat trick today

>Next person to say that Gregg doesn't know what he's doing will be reported to MLS dot com for crossing the line.
oh no, don't tell the realtors.

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>USMNT updates:
>Jesse Gonzalez back to FC Dallas but just for the weekend MLS match

wtf

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>the weekend MLS match
wtf indeed.

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The most retarded set of ratings I've seen so far. Mlelssoccer writer's are clearly brain dead.

FdB out when?

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Saturday, March 23rd
>FC Dallas vs. Colorado Rapids (5:55 PM)
Dallass
>New York Red Buls vs. Orlando City SC (7:30 PM)
Drinks
>Philadelphia Union vs. Columbus Crew (7:30 PM)
DOOPs
>Los Angeles FC vs. Real Salt Lake City (10:30 PM)
Laffs

Sunday, March 24th
>New England Revolution vs. FC Cincinnati (4:00 PM)
Shitcinatti (are they the good guys? I don't want them to be the good guys)
>Canada men's national team vs. French Guiana (6:00 PM) (i don't care if you don't care, because i care)
>

Tuesday, March 26th
>United States men's national team vs. Chile (7:55 PM)
Semen slurper

they gave shrek the lowest, so theyre not completely retarded at least

Twelfth for just end me and this season already

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Not impressed in the least with Bercuckler and his Klinsmann-esque tactics that he thought were so clever. This retard still thinks he's with Cucklumbus or something because the likes of Zardass and Trapp shouldn't be in the starting eleven of this team. We looked awful with all the possession Ecuador conceded and let us have; nothing but listless passing back and forth and then every chance created by Pulisic or McKennie led to Areola or Memeis fucking it up with bad decision making and indecisiveness. Mlssoccer pundits couldn't stop raving over Trapp but the only reason he looked good was because Ecuador was happy to sit back and do nothing; rightfully so considering how mediocre their B-team is. Zardass, Areola, Memeis and Trapp shouldn't be called up anymore, we know how limited they are; while I can see why Zardass would be called up, Areola and Memeis have proven time and time again that they lack the technical skills to play at this level. Adams and McKennie need to be a double pivot in a 4-2-3-1 playing behind Pulisic, Weah, a CAM like Lleget and have Yedlin come for support as an RB.

Also, how can Bercuckler think it's a good idea to drop Yedlin as the RB? If a manager who won the champions league like Rafa Benitez trusts Yedlin enough to be the starting RB for Newcastle, why is that not enough for a fraud like Bercuckler? Overall, it was clear as day that Bercuckler would be in over his head at this level in thinking that he can coach his shitty Cucklumbus system with the national team and not even try to be flexible. Awful game to watch and the only reason Bercuckler was saved was due to a very fortunate deflected goal from Zardass trying to get a shot in. I cannot believe US Soccuck hired such an incompetent American manager after a year of waiting. We had Tata Martino interested in the job and he checked all the SUMafia boxes (international pedigree, coached and won in MLS) but no, apparently that's not good enough for retards like Earnie Stewart.

>have international break games
>they are all boring and meaningless
>not all the teams have to play

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If Doops lose Saturday will it be the end of Jimmy Curtin?

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Reminder that Berhalter has a higher understanding of soccer than literally anyone on Yea Forums, also doyle was right, he’s always right.

I don’t think he’d get fired before May, but I suppose if we completely shit the bed and lose multiple games in a row it could happen

Gregg Berhalter has an IQ way above the level of genius. For entertainment, he watches the films of Fassbinder, Herzog, Truffaut, Godard, Bertolucci, Mallick amongst other even more obscure artists. He understands the hypocrisy of SUM/USSF and has exploited it to become a millionaire. You have every Judd Apatow movie on DVD.

I'm not reading all that you autist

No, Jimbo is eternal, unfortunately

>As Sockers' Win Total Rises with Donovan, So Does Their Bottom Line

>It turns out Donovan is great at soccer and great for business.
>The biggest change is the crowd. Attendance at Sockers home games has more than doubled. "We were around 2,600 prior to Donovan, the average has been around 5,800 in 3 matches since," said Sockers CFO Elsten
>3,000 more fans per match and the average ticket price is $20 -- that's roughly a $60,000 increase in ticket revenue per game.
>Since Donovan came aboard, Sockers merchandise sales have increased by 500 percent, according to Elsten. On February 15, Donovan's first game, the Sockers sold $13,000 worth of team gear. Since then, the Sockers have run out of some merchandise items, something that’s never happened before.
>From January 23 when the team signed Donovan through his debut on February 15, Sockers content on TV and online in the San Diego market had over 3.3 million views, an estimated value of over $300,000 to the Sockers organization.

How long before USSF decide to revoke MASL?

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This.

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It's a flash in the pan desu. The hype will fade and they'll settle back near where they were.

>twitter.com/Kevin_Kinkead/status/1109188254463598593
All of this.

bro at least use bunuel for the "obscure" double entendre

Apologise

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>Kevin Kinkead
>Sixers, Eagles, and everything Philly
>'It's Always Soccer in Philadelphia' pod
>Location: Fishtown, Philadelphia
a parody, surely
90% of the people named Kevin in the US are from Philly

Cringe

>a penalty
Wowwowowowow, no one cares about Faglanta and their shit players

>le tap in pk meme guy

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GLOBAL
GOALSCORING
ELITE

hey Americans your virgins just beat Anguilla 3-0 in the Nations League

Sweet

lel someone post the image

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Cayman Islands vs Montserrat Nations League stream
eightninetv-com.ml/live.php?v=Cayman Islands vs Montserrat&c=NORTH AMERICA: CONCACAF Nations League - Qualification&m=soccer

Cayman Islands vs Montserrat stream

Imagine if we had a coach that actually played players in position and knew tactics

Just imagine

Can any sounders fans tell me about this guy?

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i thought he was pretty solid when i watched him play last year, definitely could be a strong usl player

TOMORROW ON CONCACAF
Dominica vs. Bahamas
Sint Maarten vs. Saint-Martin
Antigua and Barbuda vs. Curacao
Suriname vs. Saint Kitts and Nevis
Guyana vs. Belize
Guadeloupe vs. Martinique
El Salvador vs. Jamaica

Curacao, Martinique, and Jamaica can clinch a Group A and Gold Cup spot tomorrow. I could do more math about it but I'm feeling a bit lazy tbqh. You guys are smart, you'll figure it out.

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I for one support Lisa in being the Yea Forums commentator of American soccer, with her wicked sense of humor and cutting analysis we can all become a bit more enlightened

For me, it's St. Kitts, and also it's Nevis

The only joy those starving commie venezuelans will ever feel.

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They find it very enjoyable to gun down invaders desu.

what the actual fuck

Why don't US soccer just use IBM and such immense computational power available in the country to money ball the shit out of soccer as is done with football/basketball/baseball?

In awe at that vert tbqh.

*eye roll*

if I were in charge of the USMNT, I would simply decide to win all of my games and simply qualify for the World Cup

don't think they won't try it.
hell, even the quacks tired something and failed miserably. Let me dig up the article that came out before the WC.

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clearly, the problem with US Soccer is that we're not THINKING about it hard enough

Title of the article, and the link
si.com/soccer/2018/06/12/germany-federation-dfb-world-cup-san-jose-earthquakes-mls
Who could have seen it coming really?

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if USA loses to Chile, Berhalter and Corderio and Earnie should be fired because Tata's Mexico just whipped their ass

>if

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We're nowhere close to Mexico atm tbhonest. But if we play terribly against Chile Bercuckler should be held accountable because he chose to continue with Camp cupcake shitters like Lovitz, Baird and Lima instead of calling up Johnson, Miazga, Novakovich and Holmes.

>we're not instantly as good as a much better team than us, fire everybody!

Chile also missed the World Cup and have recently lost to Romania, Peru, and Costa Rica

their best player is a 31 year old back-up at Barca and their Golden Generation defenders are all in their 30s and playing in Turkey

stop making excuses you pathetic Doyle

We got a rare Berhalter-apologist here.

Chile plays in an infinitely more difficult confederation than we do
in CONCACAF, they'd have qualified with ease
USA would probably be lucky merely not finishing 10th in CONMEBOL

Doesnt change the fact that Chile are now a shit team in transition with now-boomer players like Vidal and Arranguiz and little to no decent talent in the horizon.

>perf

He's right, Chile has been pretty crap lately and this time around their team is barebones as fuck and I think vidal won't play the second game against us in which case we should win the game or the team is shit.

>black goalies

apologize

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we "scored" exactly one goal against fucking ecuador, and Adams is back in germany, what makes you think the team is suddenly going to come alive

because Michael Bradley (PBUH) is going to start the next game

Why do people pass stupid as shit statements like this off as accurate.

If the hex were this yeah Chile wouldn't qualify
If the US was in south america theyd finish top 6.
Dont be agressively dumb and pass it off as wisdom

Why dont San Jose use their silicon valley money to make their team not utter shit

>"La empresa SUM debería representar mejor nuestros intereses": Tata Martino
Tata taking shots at the SUMafia which if you don't know, owns the rights to the mexican national team games played in US soil, and how they throw them in shit fields like qualcomm.

first: eh woah fuck you pal
second: the owners are New Bay Area money, not Nu Bay Area money

although, I agree they should fuck off and sell the team to some shitty transplant babby

the fire rises

That will automatically give the opposing team much higher chances for a draw or win.

Reminder that Osorio did the same and even said something along the lines of "I want my national team players at their peaks in Europe, not MLS" and later on ended up having to "clarify" his comments to not shit on MLS. SUMafia always wins.

Player
>Salary

Jesse Marsch
>150,000
Alecko Eskandarian
>123,500
Jim Curtin
>104,004
Sacha Kljestan
>95,000
Brad Guzan
>88,974

Never forget what they went through for us

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morning everyone

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>If the US was in south america theyd finish top 6.

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what a stupid fucking idea Chivas was

Reminder the people already shitting on a 3-0 manager are the same ones that thought they should be making the team selections and worship Wynalda

They understand the least, so they speak the most.

3-0 against some REAL tough teams

>Costs Rica’s C team
>panama
>Ecuador which by all merit shouldve been 0-0

How dare you criticize OUR manager?

DONALD, THE EARLY STARTS, GIVE THEM TO MEEEEEELS

Can they really claim "small market team" when they spend USL money?

might go to the open house today my loons

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Why are the games so fucking late

watch the urban youth bounce ball tournament my goyim

>Why are there games?
That should be the question.

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hockey is on rn

int'l break la, ever heard of it?

Who cares about international soccer?

Not Garber or you apparently.

Right and some smug euro could go 0-3 against the same teams and you’d be saying that those games don’t matter or he’s weeding out the shitters

It’s ironic the anti-mls and Euroboos crowd all hate a guy who has more tactical knowledge than all but maybe 1 manager in the entire us soccer history

>not watching Nations League final round qualifying
yikes and normie

Imagine defending a fraud like Bercuckler who has won exactly fuck all in mls just because SUMafia and mls are in damage control over his awful squad picks and retarded possession tactics that dont work with our level of players against teams who dont sit back. What will the excuse be when we get exposed by teams who actually press for the ball instead of sitting back the entire game and letting Trapp pretend to be Pirlo?

For me, it's that false RB position

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tldr

SUMGANG ain’t going away my dude, you can run with us or you can get run over.

What channel is the first game on?

I was at the Ecuador game and my biggest question is, why are >we so shit at crosses?

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Sallad vs RIPids is on Twitter and Unimás

The wingers were Jordan "might actually be clinically retarded" Morris and Paul "does he actually do anything?" Arriola. The right back was actually playing centrally, and the left back is actually a center back.
Also, Ecuador had at least 5 guys in their own 18 yard box at all times.

and the target man was Jizzy "all Glory to God" Zardes, the 6'2" manlet

>6'2" manlet
every year the cut-off grows by an inch.

When will Ben Fast deliver us from this hell?

>have VAR
>no goal line technology
This is why you’re a joke league

Don't even have a soccer specific stadium as a requirement, it is very much a joke of a league by design.

espn+ is literally a more annoying, less reliable service than latino-streams.biz, and it costs money

>going dooping mental.

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which game we watching bros

red bull stream?

>had the ball in the 6 yard box
>possession ends with a opponent thrown-in in your own half

doopin mental

Why is Orlando is so meme worthy?

>is’s
doop

I absolutely would not be saying that. I regularly meme about rooney beating POWERFUL teams like cyprus and andora

kyle duncan sucks

>imagine actually rating doyle
this is why doyle posting cant ever stop

This is our only hope for the future of american soccer internationally, please say something nice about him

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they do have that requirement, but it can be worked around with lots of money

I've heard Hershey, Pennsylvania is quite nice

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red bulls look like theyll finish 4th in the east

*styles on you in ~3 to 5 years*

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Bezecourt completely invisible
Duncan is shit
RB can't break down a team that sits back

>Cade

Test post

so they don't have it as a requirement.

the requirement is that Garber gets paid

thus
>it is very much a joke of a league by design

For me, it's the Socio MX Tour 2019

As #29 with St. Louis. Definitely see that

Doopin' on fools like

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you might like this edit, someone asked the other week during conCACAf

based v& evader

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LAFC has a proper NHL-tier homer TV broadcast, props to them

love the bruins
love aztlan
hate the habs
hate the refs

simple as

titty monster alert

Save and a half from manlet Rimando, damn

Make him look like a hipster soiboy and this would be a perfect edit

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>YEEEEEES
why am i even watching the other team desu?

>hipster soiboy
get me the right wojak and i'll make it breh

>tfw no qt assistant ref

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Max Bretos is a dumb cunt

yet another one of these failed entertainment people who got jobs being soccer announcers because no one else would do it in the late 90s

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here

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fuck

>press at the enemy's shoebox
wtf, I hate press now!

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SEASONS BACK LADS

CHAD INTELLIGENT CURTIN

LIKABLE AFRICAN MAN

HANDSOME YOUNG AMERICANS

Touring my seats tomorrow. >soon is about to be >now in less than 12 hours

AHOOOOOOO

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No one cares about your faggot goblina dykes. It absolutely boggles my mind how you can waste your life like this; eagerly posting butch-looking lesbian dykes caked in clown makeup. Why do you waste your time doing this? Why do you post the same ugly whores - who wouldn't even find an ugly balding soiboy like you remotely attractive - and keep samefagging to try to initiate some sort of autistic conversation? Are you a homosexual? Do you actually think anyone is going to entertain your autism and respond "Hey, that brown looking mutt is so cute! Hi-five 'Press'bro?"

Where did your life go wrong to the point that you are reduced to shilling for grade-school level football a.k.a dykeball? Were you that repulsive nerd in high school who always tried to befriend the popular chicks and they only put up with you because they pitied you? You're not going to get a "Press" to like you by acting like a degenerate sad retard on a Malaysian frog-fishing forum. Where was your dad to raise you in not being such an enormous fucking faggot? Kill yourself.

Honestly think the job Tata Martino did with Paraguay in the 2010 WC was underrated as fuck. They played a solid defensive style and won their group with Italy, advanced to the quarterfinals, and to me were the better team against Spain but got refballed desu.

Maybe he's still someone to keep an eye out for in the future.

zimmerman the new ciman???

damn

here

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im legit praying this is copypasta lmao yikes

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nice

Hey, this brown looking mutt is so cute!

Hi-five 'Press'bro!

bout time someone called out dykeball posting

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It will be now.

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>15

What the god damn fuck

Based as fuck. The hero we need but don’t deserve

PLAY
YOUR
KIDS

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imagine getting embarrassed by p00p

you didnt go today? the open house was sick. the fieldhouse club is so much better than the one at tcf.

based but cringepilled

only three weeks ladies and gents until the real season begins
remember: you don't have to watch if you don't want UwU

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WE DON'T GIVE A CRUD!

VAMOS EL TREE

TODAY IN CONCACAF
British Virgin Islands vs. Bonaire (BVI would need to win by 9+ games to have the best chance of being in Group B)
Puerto Rico vs. Grenada (a win for Grenada would all but solidify a Group B sopt for them)
Dominican Republic vs. Bermuda (both countries need a win to keep Gold Cup hopes alive, but Bermuda could theoretically get away with a tie. also Bermuda goes ot Group A with a win)
Canada vs. French Guiana (French Guiana needs a win to qualify for Gold Cup, Canada only needs a tie to qualify for that and Group A)
Haiti vs. Cuba (if they tie this game, they're both in the Gold Cup and Group A)
Barbados vs. Nicaragua (Barbados needs a win to qualify for Group B, Nicaragua needs a win to go to the Gold Cup)

Pic related are the teams qualified so far

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Autism

Based.

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>his smile and optimism: gone

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Please take my survey on promotion/relegation in American soccer. My thesis is that shills like Doyle are killing the American game and that billions of dollars and thousands of jobs would be created if we start pro/rel.
Thank you for your time.

docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScyTsfU_XPQswsnW9bVwvneCDugqzfbeUMYgz5j5RSPtOJt_Q/viewform

cringe

I'm not participating in this autism

Hold up
What kind of autism is this?

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Silicon Valley types tend to be the big-nosed kind of wealthy(read: cheap) and many of them are the tech autist types that tend to lack common sense desu

I just wanted to stop by real quick and say
>quacks

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>people finally launching mustard gas on the doops

kek, is this real?

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which teams should be relegated or folded from the league?

Chicago, Nashville, both Texas teams

>Nashville
You should try actually watching the league sometime. Nashville is clearly the best team in the MLS

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But theyre not even playing in MLS yet...

Sorry if I fucked up your study if you created this

Hawaiian is great.

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san jose

Pineapple + jalapeno is my go-to dominos order, I'd never ask for it on a real pizza tho

Why is USL just so much better than mls?

Its just not fair, bros

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NOW

AHOOOOOOO

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>19K
i sleep

Any stream for NE v Cincy?

gonna be so loud
reddit got purged, i had to dig for one
soccerhdtv.xyz/2019/03/24/400p-et-new-england-revolution-vs-fc-cincinnati-live-streaming/

they'll expand to ~25k in a few years, gotta get them shekels first

>bevs attendance
super yikes. move this team to boston already

>USL in tier 3, NASL in tier 2; USL overtakes NASL
>USL in tier 2, MLS in tier 1
w-what happens next

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nisa saves us all

cringe but truthpill

Miazga was called up, retard

Is he based or Adu 2.0

i'm surprised bevs attendance is so high desu

Your 2019 MLS Champions

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SUM creates the pyramid down from tier 2, USSF praises them for the growth of soccer in america. The world continues spinning.

>The United States Soccer Federation has provisionally sanctioned the National Independent Soccer Association (NISA) as a Professional Soccer League, clearing the way for the league to begin play in the fall of 2019.

REEEEEEEEEE SO FAR AWAY

*blocks French Guiana's path*

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buss down frenchguiana

get a better jersey

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APOLOGIZE

new england is fucking dog shit

How does Friedel still have a job? New Cuckland look worse than they did before this bald fuck became coach.

>Poo Peengland RevoPooution

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an absolute nobody in a dogshit European league is finna boutta dab on MLS

big fish in a small pond

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>Greatest ally beat Austria today
based

>dogshit European league
Belgium are in the top 10 leagues in Uefa

time to actually build out a proper pyramid instead of getting sucked into NASL's shitfit about their god-given right to D1 status

>lose every game
>fail to score a goal
>weren't even drawn in the fourth pot
Fellas, how the fuck do we fix Puerto Rico?

New England confirmed for Wooden Spoon

That's still San Jose's to win

San Jose are always pretty crap, but the Resv aren't even trying

>alternating the colors randomly so it looks like people actually showed up when they pan over it on tv

>it looks like people actually showed up
? they averaged like 22k

Could be worse, they could use a color that never has been used in their jersey so it makes it glaring obvious how bad attendance is.

refuse them any funds to rebuild their infrastructure, sell their public utilities to venture capitalists and hedge funds who will strip the island of it's assets
force them to begin dismantling any public services they have in order to take out IMF loans, then privatize basic services and extract as much wealth from the people as possible, rendering them slaves again
put down any rebellions under the banner of Liberty and Freedom, and when the climate begins to be unbearable and the masses wish to flee to the mainland, our brave troops will put them into the gas chambers and wipe them from the planet

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>scarves up Minnesota

Cringe af

>mad
>at birds
baka senpai

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>resv

>Every now and then Brad Friedel wakes up and texts Robert Kraft “Why don’t you love me like you love Tom Brady?”

>Robert Kraft, getting up from his massage table made of macaroni noodles cooked in the tears of NFL fans after the recent Patriots Super Bowl victory takes a long look at his phone before texting back: “Who is this, and why do you have my number?”

>Brad Friedel punches the wall in frustration. Through the tears caused by his frustration, he furiously texts back: “It’s Brad! Brad Friedel! You own the New England Revolution! A soccer team! You know, Taylor Twellman, the best player to ever play for this team? That New England Revolution!” and he slams his phone down on the IKEA brand coffee table he bought with his meagerly 50k salary. He gets up and slams his head against the wall, sobbing.

>After a few minutes, his phone vibrates. Brad looks at it with a deathly glare, questioning whether or not he should pick it up. After a minute of deliberating it with himself, he picks up the phone and reads the following message: “I have a soccer team?”

>He screams in frustration, throwing his phone against the wall, waking the neighbors in the surrounding apartments. “I FUCKING HATE YOU, ROBERT KRAFT! I FUCKING HATE YOU” he yells as he succumbs to the impending emotional breakdown, punching his couch through his tears.

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move the revs to Sacramento

Fold the Quakes and Revs
Give Sacramento and St. Louis teams

Promote Madison MINGOS desu

>Dook

>soon

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great post

I like that second part

congrats Canuck frens

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>Sacramento and St. Louis teams
>he doesn't know

Debate: Should Bradley still be a part of the NT?

Thank you, see you in the Gold Cup friend

Knowing USSF, as long as there's even the slightest bit of debate that he's good enough, which there is, he'll play.

Yes.

Realistically, who can stop them?

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SOON

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Based. For me, it's Montserrat.

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Fuggin baste

Based concacaf doing what's right

Our guys

Based Montserrat

who ELSE could we call up to pass backwards and sideways all game?

No, not even as a water boy. Any Doylefag who claims he's still one of the best midfielders in the national team pool is delusional. We're literally back to the Klinsmann 2014 days where he tried to play him as a regista and a 10. It's not going to work under a shit overrated coach like Bercuckler.

The algorithm says, yes.

Doyle himself has literally said he's a 3rd or 4th string CM at best.

>she thinks Doyle is used to refer to a single person
Sweetie, that hasn't been the case for a few months already.

just stopping in to post for DC United! get fucked nerds!

ZIP UP YOUR PANTS CRAFT
ZIP UP YOUR PANTS

MY OH MY THIS TEAMS GOT NO CHANCE
PLENTY OF LOSSES COMING OUR WAY

ZIP UP YOUR PANTS CRAFT
ZIP A DEE DAY

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Yikes

*scores a hat trick on you in under 30'*

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it all makes sense now

sj is trying to be chivas 4.0 now

>it has been 540 days since the Quakes have won an MLS match against a team other than Minnesota or Dallas

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based and localpilled

>that advanced balding
Landcuck Sóynovan.

he's 37, that's a very normal age to go bald

He's been balding since his early to mid twenties.

again, very normal and lots of women find it attractive actually because it means the man has lots of testosterone and thus can produce good offspring

Ladies and gentlemen, your 2019 Gold Cup participants

Ladies and gentlemen, your 2019 Gold Cup participants

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>no Montserrat
Not based. I guess we'll have to root for Guyana, Bermuda, or Curacao.

currently? yes
When (IF) we go to the 2022 World Cup? Hellllllll naw

let me know when they beat someone other than the slow kids in the class

This, pretty much objectively.

Didn't they beat the ML Scup finalists?

Portland is a trash fire this season, somehow

They need to UNLEASH Dairon Asprilla desu

>currently stuck with the 2 team
lol

lmao

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rude

>page 7

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>281
IN THE HOUSE

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>New Mexico will get a team before Fresno

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>selling 8500 tickets to a stadium that seats 8000
>implying they should therefore get a 30,000 seat soccer stadium
New Mexico and Sacramento are both equal mistakes

>the Fusion will have a stadium for videogames in the South Philly sports arena complex
>while the Union have 500 year lease in Chester
Fuck you, Sugarman

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Sacramento WILL grow stronger

Surprising that New Mexico is that high, but the obvious takeaway from this is that we NEED to liquidate all B teams.

like b.o.

>twitter.com/DynamicFoxtrot/status/1110221120882520066?s=19
>Steals SKCs colors
Dare I say, I'm a sporting?

>713

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>s-soon?

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gotta wait too many posts for that number, homey

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>never get the dark scheme
Enough is enough parley

>dynamo night mode
Grim

>we face texas this tuesday

How is this even fair?

>#CanPL is actively looking for potential owners in Ottawa and that there is a reluctance to work with the Fury moving forward.

Damn the leafs are getting vengeful

Canada Soccer basically tried to fuck over Ottawa Fury earlier in the year, so can anyone really blame them for not wanting to work with each other.
The worst part about this though is that instead of getting a decent name for a team like Ottawa Fury, we're going to get some dumb fucking 'Capital FC' shit which nobody cool likes

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since my STH values taking his actual sons instead of me, i just purchased my tickets for the loons opener.
HYPE

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SOMEONE EXPLAIN
what happened with the whole yellow card situation? reddit didn't have an update or whatever but from my understanding
>cayman islands guy got "2 yellows" but started the game he was supposed to sit
but it might not have been him for both yellows?

There was some issue because the guy wore a different number in each game I think? And the yellows were given to "#5" in each game? Something ridiculous and concacaf-y like that.

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grella...

thinkin about doing a match ranking and posting the results here for casuals, something like adding the points per game of both teams, and maybe a separate "i want sam fackin goals" where it's just adding up goals allowed per game and goals scored per game of both teams

based and saved

Legendary image

Sounds like autism, but could be the good kind

what? why?

upvoted and shared on Facebook

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to help them decide what game to watch

Based

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>cricket fields
peak concacaf

I saw my seats on Sunday. Can't wait to AHOOOOO and sing Wonderwall at a future game.

how does it compare to the other grounds?

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No one cares about your faggot goblina dykes. It absolutely boggles my mind how you can waste your life like this; eagerly posting butch-looking lesbian dykes caked in clown makeup. Why do you waste your time doing this? Why do you post the same ugly whores - who wouldn't even find an ugly balding soiboy like you remotely attractive - and keep samefagging to try to initiate some sort of autistic conversation? Are you a homosexual? Do you actually think anyone is going to entertain your autism and respond "Hey, that brown looking mutt is so cute! Hi-five 'Press'bro?"

Where did your life go wrong to the point that you are reduced to shilling for grade-school level football a.k.a dykeball? Were you that repulsive nerd in high school who always tried to befriend the popular chicks and they only put up with you because they pitied you? You're not going to get a "Press" to like you by acting like a degenerate sad retard on a Malaysian frog-fishing forum. Where was your dad to raise you in not being such an enormous fucking faggot? Kill yourself

No. He's literally a shittier Wil Trapp

WELCOME TO _____

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Team Hawaii marquee player

he's not that good, but then again MLS GM's aren't that smart and there is literally no consequences to wasting money so good luck Seattle

Who the fuck thought he was worth 9% of the team's total paycheck?
He got released by a team in the German second division

Toronto was retarded enough to spend money on Terrence Boyd who was a benchwarmer in the 2 Bundesliga. Maybe some retarded team like Orlando will pay him that salary.

Also, I will find it hilarious if doyleposters begin to rate Wood once he moves to the league like they are doing with Saief.

Please come to Red Bulls so we can finally pull the plug on BWP

Wood would unironically score 15-20 goals a season here in Mls so I think an upper echelon Mls team like NYCFC should get him.

He's scored more goals in a top 5 Euro league than Altidore and Martinez combined.

The blasian chad is unironically going to dominate harder than them

MLS defensive lines are that good.

aren't*
fuck

>you know remember Giovani Dos Santos.
Some stupid FO will probably pick him up.

>pulisic probably going to just sit on the bench at chel$ea
>wood gone
>is weah even still at PSG?

is the future of US ninja turtles over already?

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alex muyl played emergency left fullback in a home loss

Sebastian Lletget has years still in his legs and with the advances in medicine, Jordan Morris might be able to live past 40

Those two are fucking shit. Lletget less so for the national team.

>morris
>good for anything

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>*click*
>*bzzzzzzt*
>*slurp*
>ahhhhh, Dempsey....now THAT was a player....they don't make em like they used to, kiddo. Your Pully sicks, your Timo Wardon's, your West McDonalds ain't nothing compared to Deuce.

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why cant I like Puli AND deuce?

Da Boy should become the trophy househusband for that power ranger if an injury forces him into early retirement, kinda like robbie rogers did with some hollywood exec.

>too young for the LD era.
Yep”sips”

>landycakes
>era

>being an unironic klansmann babby

Klinsmeme would've taken Donovan to Brazil if he didn't show up to the pre-WC camp with a fucking beer gut

Beer gut or not, he would have scored that.

unironically would be a good move by sj

Are you still seething over Klinsmann rightfully kicking you out of the world cup squad, Landycakes?

>Wynalda, Ramos, Balboa, Harkes... now THAT was a team *sips tropical sprite*

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Landon would have gone and have advanced the ninja turtles gut or no gut. It’s fine he won an ml scup that same year with style may I add.

>mlels 2.0
>mattering
It's okay, Landycakes no need to refer to yourself in third person. We know it's you.

Why would you think this thread isn't pro-don ovan?

>Willy Roy, Ferdo Grgurev, Juli Veee...now THAT was a team *punctures open a Schlitz*

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SEÑORES HOY GANA EL USMNT

>memeing this hard
Stop posting and go to sleep

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you are exactly right up until the last step when we bring them all directly to the least diverse parts of america, where they can supress wages and further disenfranchise poor americans in the name of diversity

i wish you guys would have all your own leagues, we dont want to play hockey with you anymore either, you cant win and you always complain

just want to die lads

don't do it yet, wait until Perf win da GF

based and redpilled

D O O P
>D O O P
D O O P
>D O O P
D O O P
>D O O P
D O O P
>D O O P

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hello /mls/, am I understanding the new system correctly?

mls first division
usl championship second division
usl league 1 third division
usl league 2 kind of fourth division

then theres the NISA and NPSL nutjobs along with a whole other world of amateur leagues

as of now I have a local team that will start in usl league 2 so ill come back with pictures when they finally play.

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>perf

How is your team doing, lads.

the Sounders are performing within acceptable parameters.

just drink

yeah, that's about right

Who here excited to beat Chile tonight?

It would because they can't score goals but
>Quacks
>Spending money

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Maybe the real pro/rel was the friends we made along the way

>The relegated team of the Clausura 2019 Liga MX season would be have the option of paying MXN$120 million to remain in Liga MX. If paid, MXN$60 million would go to the Ascenso MX team that is not certified to be promoted and MXN$60 million would go to new projects determined by the Liga MX assembly. If the relegated Liga MX team does not pay the MXN$120 million to remain in Liga MX, the team's right to be the 18th team of Liga MX will be seceded to Liga MX and the MXN$120 million must be paid by the other 17 teams of Liga MX. The vacant position in Liga MX could then be occupied by a certified Ascenso MX team or an external sport project. If the position is not occupied, Liga MX reserves all rights to do as deemed fit with it for the 2019–20 Liga MX season.[3][4][5]

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yikes and capitalistpilled

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The top teams in liga mx would love nothing more than the closed system mls has.

Sounds like the dystopic future of sports is already here

Söynovan wasnt even Lag's most important player in their last cup win. Just an overrated USA babby

you need to go back, amigo

Why would they care? The top MX teams have even less of a chance to get relegated than the top MLS teams would in a pro/rel MLS

Suddenly insanely curious about the "new projects determined by the Liga MX assembly"

>no MLS team has ever won the CONCACAF Champions League

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???

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That's like saying that Liverpool is a PL Champion. Pre-2008 trophies don't count.

Thats not very tolerant, Landcuck Söynovan

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How long until the match starts?

3 bongs and 10 bings. Make sure to account for commercials because of (((them))) so add another 20 bings

No it's only 2 bongs and 9 bings.

I

I BELIEVE

>muh meme parens
Epic! xD

and a few yachts

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Lineups?

Rate.

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Pretty strong lineup for a friendly

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>Corey Baird
Lmao this fag was bad against the Panamanian Camp Cupcake. Wtf is he gonna do vs a decent team?

>Baldy
>Gonzalel
>Baird
>Zardes
>strong lineup

Pomykal is a winger, not a 10. What a retarded post from Doyle

>Omar and Bradley

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fernandez is too, doyle just needs the content

Make a game thread.

>Omar
Fucking why

What? He plays in the midfield a lot.

PLAY
YOUR
KIDS

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business idea: we kill bradley and morris

How hard is to wifey an Indio looking Mehican?

WAKE ME UP INSIDE
(CANT WAKE UP)
SAVE ME FROM THE NOTHING IVE BECOME

>international break
>only 5 European-based in the starting 11

it's always gonna be Camp Cupcake

>tracking minors
Doyle to Correctional facility when?

literally just go to a Mexican city, ask who wants a Green Card, and pick the best looking one

For me,it’s EL TREE

*tips la sombrero*

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It would be "el sombrero"

People will whine about Bradley or Omar or Baird, but the thing that makes me the most mad is that Zardass is still being given time.

Pull
>Pull
Pull
>Puli
Pull
>Puli
Pull
>Puli

Well damn, I guess I spoke too soon. That was actually a really nice play.

PuliGOD

>smiles in your direction

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>Arriola
>Omar
>Miazga
>Yedlin
Top wew

why are white women so much more attractive than every other race? literally everyone on the planet wants a white wife.

Omar Gonzalez is so bad, wtf is he doing here

Social construction desu

Cash grab

Great pass from Bradley desu

Fellas, the Gold Cup, it's coming home to the Dominion

Rip pulisic

it's ogre

rip in pieces puligod

la puto

He's fine, they're just saving him from getting actually murderballed.

Just saw an autism fc shirt, what a meme

>sells out BBVA for a USMNT game
What the fuck

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ahahaha
>pooston whynamo

>sells out

only alcohol numbs my pain

APOLOGIZE

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>le do nothing as the Chileans run to our box and score
Also, I saw a Chilean manlet run - quite literally - a full circle around Fagley at one point. And Vidal exposed his bald faggotass as well.

a fun game is to look at the profile pics of people on social media praising Bradley

50% balding fat guys making the epic face, 50% teens wearing ties

The goal wasn't his fault, it was these dumbasses

so the guys currently running, or that will run the USSF in the future. got it.

You seem a little obsessed. It wasn't his worst game, and he wasn't near the worst player on the field.

Reminder that Bradley-apologists will get the wall, or be deported to Toronto. Whichever is closest.

real talk though: Bradley Internet Defense Force will find this post
he has friends in high places and he's not afraid to call in favors
watch your back user

You're embarrassing yourself. His "job" was to act like an American Pirlo and spray passes forward. He did absolutely fuck all other than stay deep. He was clearly a couple steps behind Chile's pace on the ball which made him even more useless.

Dunno man, he didn't seem that bad to me. Like I said, he's definitely had worse games.

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>one(ONE) shot on goal
>nothing after the 10’ mark
>33% possession

We are literally shit. Incoming 5th place gold cup finish

Would be glad to be a martyr for the coming pro/rel war

>Puli leaves game with injury
>nothing good happens in the final third the rest of the game

APOLOGIZE

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OHL is kino af, fuck the leafs and FUCK bettman

For what? This bald clown didn't mark anyone during the Chile goal and was exposed by Vidal.

>congratulating Fagley because he didn't shit the bed and was anonymous in the game
Wew, is this what Fagley apologists have been reduced to?

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>gtfo
The guy will never redeem himself. Just look at his eyes.

fuck you and fuck that coach's kid

he's so cute tho
I hope he's in the team for that reason alone

youtube.com/watch?v=kPoruNNWvAA
neat

fuggg...

Why is she so god damn perfect lads?

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dykegrass is not a sport.

And yet they can actually win games

>prefers male semen slurpers
Gay.

*passes back to Horvath*
*gives away possession*
*lets Vidal and Valdez run past*
*slips on the pitch*
Truly the goat

What the fuck does this guy even do?

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secretly uses your DNA test to baptize you and your family into his "church" so that he gets a better alien planet in the afterlife

Not drink coffee, alcohol, or have fun.

No one cares about your faggot goblina dykes. It absolutely boggles my mind how you can waste your life like this; eagerly posting butch-looking lesbian dykes caked in clown makeup. Why do you waste your time doing this? Why do you post the same ugly whores - who wouldn't even find an ugly balding soiboy like you remotely attractive - and keep samefagging to try to initiate some sort of autistic conversation? Are you a homosexual? Do you actually think anyone is going to entertain your autism and respond "Hey, that brown looking mutt is so cute! Hi-five 'Press'bro?"

Where did your life go wrong to the point that you are reduced to shilling for grade-school level football a.k.a dykeball? Were you that repulsive nerd in high school who always tried to befriend the popular chicks and they only put up with you because they pitied you? You're not going to get a "Press" to like you by acting like a degenerate sad retard on a Malaysian frog-fishing forum. Where was your dad to raise you in not being such an enormous fucking faggot? Kill yourself.

CanPL already planning on adding teams 9 and 10 for 2020, likely to be in Montreal market (i.e. Laval) and Lower Mainland BC
twitter.com/24thminute/status/1110272887540408325

bbc.com/sport/av/football/47712560

Honestly this just seems like it's describing anti-qt posters

Honestly, watching Baird makes me feel sad. He's clearly smart and makes good runs and picks good passes, but he ultimately can't use his intelligence for anything because he can't escape the fact that he's Corey Baird.

Sporting Inuvik when?

Yes, although being the "best fans in MLS," isn't particularly hard when you're up against Fatlanta, doopin mental and fightttttttttttttttttttt and winnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn's

DOOP fans (what little there are) are actually pretty good. Regardless of what is written on those cards, people don't actually do the cringe or yuro-humping.

>Sporting Flyover, Canada edition

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FINALLY
Partizân Coquitlam FC will be champions

FIGHTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

if Salt Lake City can support an MLS team, New York can support at LEAST ten, and probably at least one for each borough

It is more expensive to watch the US than world champions France. Why?
The US men’s national team are starting to cohere under their new coach, Gregg Berhalter. But fans paid up to $600 to watch them against Chile

theguardian.com/football/2019/mar/27/usmnt-ticket-prices-soccer-usa-chile

>Salt Lake City
>Support

as much as I hate that the profits are going to Garber, I fully support price gouging rich people

RSL's regular season attendance was ranked 13th of 23 last year

They need team 8 first

This

It's near certain that Ottawa will be team 8, and will also start next year. Whether it's the Ottawa Fury or a new Ottawa team, no one knows; CanPL and Fury have a bit of beef. Exciting stuff

So they'll compete against the people who own the stadium
That doesn't seem smart

Stejskal:
>Bradley is the best USMNT player
Wiebe:
>Bradley is my favorite USMNT player of all time
Tenorio:
>Bradley great passes, good defense, working hard to earn his spot in the team
Parchman:
>huge thread on how great Bradley is, how all his failure is because coaches didn't use him correctly
Lala's:
>no one is forcing Berhalter to play MLS players
Andy Edwards:
>USMNT with ideas and Bradley still great

Almost every MLS staff member is doing full court press for Bradley right now. Thou doth protest too much

K

Bradley was once again the best player on the pitch last night.
Who cares about what a bunch of idiots on sp think.

Guaranteed (You)'s, nice

Yah, not the kid who scored, the guy that made one good pass that resulted in nothing

m.youtube.com/watch?v=hMr3KtYUCcI

Kys

:3

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>picked by sky blue
F

no matter how incompetent management is, enough good players have to stumble into some wins eventually.

look at Cleveland.

You're not funny for acting retarded

Sky Blue don't even have a training facility
they were staying in Econolodges last season

I would not be surprised if they drive one of their players to suicide

>I would not be surprised if they drive one of their players to suicide
I hear that's a Cleveland suburb, should only be a couple hours in light traffic.

Shite team.

Respectable shield.

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Too bad
Sky Blue has Raquel Rodriguez who's my waifu

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>ywn pound brewskis with your qt nwsl gf, at the bar after the big game

new

still da best

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(end of regulation)

Why live ;_;

because you just never know