>Gary Lineker introduces highlights of today’s seven Premier League matches, including the clash between title-chasing Manchester City and Watford at the Etihad Stadium, and Tottenham’s visit to Southampton. Elsewhere, Crystal Palace welcome bitter rivals Brighton and Hove Albion to Selhurst Park with both sides looking to put daylight between themselves and the relegation zone.
Men of colour Ian Wright and Jermaine Jenas are your """expert pundits""".
hello everyone, if you look at the championship table and see Swansea you'll think we're a bad team. Yeah if you're a casual plastic cunt who's not watched Swansea all year.
We're playing progressive attacking football whilst utilising our top class youth academy. We're bringing back the Swansea way and playing some of the best football in the league.
Literally got a KFC family bucket with extra gravy and hot wings for tea.
Had to go on a diet for my mate's posh wedding but I can just pig out now.
Kevin Sanders
I shall not judge Swansea on their league performance, but rather on what one of their fans (who never attends their matches) says.
Cameron Hill
bring back manish bhasin, leroy and stevie c on the football league show desu
Hudson Ortiz
how will he twist tottenham's performance into something good today
Ian Cox
>England's #1
Blake Thomas
>other than being really crap and never winning, ever, Tottenham played well tonight
Jacob Barnes
sausage roll down you
Henry Ramirez
>that tackle SWING LOW SWEET CHARIOT
Alexander Parker
Still should have been a red card, the new "last man double jeopardy" rule only matters when you attempt to play the ball
Indeed, peak comfy lad
Liam Anderson
SPEAR
Jayden Murphy
No idea how that wasn't a red. Dunno what he's trying to say to the ref afterwards, as if that wasn't a foul
John Sanchez
He went for his balls.
Michael Parker
Everything about Rugby Union is so fucking bent. The fans, the "sportsmanship", the basically complete lack of uosets. Even the commentators wank off about the meathead players with a stick up their arse.
Cameron Brooks
It absolutely should be.
As a 100% genetically pure Sunderlander, I assume he's programmed to attack anyone in a Newcastle shirt, so they gave him a freebie.
Dylan Bailey
Remember when the BBC had live Football League games?
Did Everton's defense take shrooms at half time? Holy shit.
Tyler Sullivan
HAHAHA. Pickford looks like that little ginger cunt that used to ask you to buy them a packet of fags outside the local shop when he was barely over 12 years old.
Better than acid and 2CB in my opinion. It's just fucking hard to get them in you because they're fucking rancid to eat and shroom tea doesn't taste any better. I prefer a shroom trip to any other trip.
Nolan Rodriguez
DUDE HALLUCINOGENS LMAO
Jose Hall
jermaine looks fucking shattered
Blake Thompson
Been crying over Spurs' collapse
Adrian Jenkins
Yedlin is honestly one of the worst players I've seen playing regularly in the prem
He has absolutely nothing apart from speed. Can't cross, can't tackle, can't shoot, no ball control
190 was boring us the other day about how the UK government had blood on its hands due to the ISIS bride losing her baby.
Wyatt Ross
>Hasn't won away in their last five league matches >Through to the CL quarterfinals Once again proving winning the league is far more of an accomplishment than winning a short tournament
Joseph Peterson
nobody cares, yank
Aiden Perez
I don't recognise half of the other cunts, but >Adrian Chiles
Mason James
>Watching people watch things I don't understand the popularity of shit like Gogglebox desu
Angel Martin
one of the few times i've agreed with him about something
Joshua Gray
>Someone mentioned this Sky One thing in the thread last week that's started: Comedians Watching Football With Friends. Yeah I daren't watch it myself. It looked legitimately bad. A lot of these shows you might notice are produced by Avalon, who also own a talent agency, so they pack the shows with their own clients. It's very incestual.
Leo Evans
ryan bertrand looks like that chavvy cunt from school
sure he isnt like that tho
John Rogers
Who can stop United finishing 3rd?
Alexander Garcia
If you do class a drugs you're probably a cunt
Jaxson Jones
widdicombe is good on quickly kevin but not really sold on the rest desu
Hunter Turner
>mods ban funposting >but fucking 190 is allowed to shit up threads with his smelly presence
imagine headbutting a player and then just getting a yellow
spurs privilege
Isaiah Jenkins
Imagine stand up comedy
Well it's like that except done by total amateur but the bonus is that they're just like you or me
James Bailey
do you think you're clever being racist there?
bet you wouldn't say shit to sissoko if he came up to you like that
Carter Gonzalez
The tackle was a red on its's own as well
Brayden Murphy
danny rose won't be playing next week because of that
ben davies is better than him anyways
Jace Sullivan
those shows are friendship simulators most people are very lonely
Adam Moore
That literally does work as an analogy too, because Gogglebox was based loosely on The Royle Family - that's why they used the two cast members from it for the voiceovers. It worked there because it was scripted and acted by professionals, but replace that with no script and a bunch of mongs and you've got a pile of shite.
Camden Thomas
It's just some plebs watching telly
Ryan Martinez
I started watching it and noticed they cut to a shot of an audience laughing. I thought "Wait: they surely haven't just built a set with an audience watching on, have they?"
Turned out that was exactly what they did.
Xavier Perry
>gary 'hey did you know i present champions league football on a rival broadcast midweek' lineker
Oh it's in front of a bloody audience as well? I didn't even know that. No way would people go to just see that, but with a lot of these less-popular shows you HAVE to go to them if you want tickets to watch another show i.e. 8 Out of 10 Cats which will be filmed a few hours later.
Samuel Allen
But they're just like me and my hilarious family!
Mason Nelson
>female commentators
David Anderson
Please don't. Seeing the Patreon money any git with a YouTube channel can rake in makes me want to do things ISIS would wince at.
Gavin King
Buy a snake m8
Christian Clark
Alright Jacob? Shouldn't you be undermining Theresa or something right now
Levi Thomas
>woman commentator Yikes!
Liam Hill
So like RLM? Stupid fucking redditor
Brandon Sullivan
>female commentators They've never going to sell me on them. I saw a woman on the TV the other day saying that blokes commentate on the women's game so why can't they commentate on the men's? - Well, fair trade, women can commentate for women's, men for men's. I won't be offended.
Nicholas Edwards
exactly but instead of shite films, they're discussing normie tv shows
Andrew Williams
The sky one football comedian thing is basically ripping on the true Geordie kick off
And that is a load of shite considering people only like him because of his rage videos when Newcastle play like shite
Nolan Powell
What if I told you that one of her beta orbiters even edits the videos for her.
Carson Sanders
People are fucking mental. You can't trust people, they listen to Coldplay and vote for the nazis
You lads heard that Bolton haven't paid their players for this month yet?
Hudson King
He's basically the autism version of a wind up car
Gabriel Brown
Can't get an erection on E lad, just went out for a dance till about 5am after
Michael Thompson
well it's only the 9th i don't get paid until last working day of the month
Christopher Kelly
Is that like going to see Tony Blackburn?
Gavin Fisher
please dont screencap that fat guy making jokes at the expense of the working class
aka norf fc jokes
Alexander Cook
how stupid must you be to join bolton these past 5 years
Liam Sullivan
heard that their match today was in jeopardy because of policing costs but somehow it got sorted their owner seems like a bit of a tit desu
Nathaniel Hernandez
Every time I’ve gone out on shrooms I’ve pulled which is usually a pretty rare occurrence, was probably just due to me being laid back and friendly Definitely my favourite drug although never done 2cb which sounds right up my street
Ayden Walker
Yeah but like last payday
As in it's been over a month
If they don't get paid by the 14th they're allowed to walk away from the club, sounds like they're getting paid on Mondo though
The Sheik created a shell company after 40 minutes when it was clear it was one of those nights, I have it from 1st sources, that the ref received £100,000 at half time through a 3rd party.
Jaxon Allen
You're a brave trooper, I can't imagine going out on shrooms.
I'd go see Tony Blackburn if he put on some absolute throbbing bangers tbf
Colin is likeable now and all it took was 2 men dying
Carson Evans
>le why don't they play real instruments
Begone, boomer
Jonathan Russell
you only think that because you're not mates with Shagger. Shaggsies a pure legend lad you don't even know, Shags will get a nun to laugh and feel a bit saucy that's how much a legend our Shagger is
Elijah White
It's not really reddit. It's full of northern middle class types in fleeces and fresh shit from Millets
It's super chill. Like a less pretentious Latitude
Alexander Howard
Fairs
Camden Kelly
He's fine, I guess. He doesn't sound as completely gormless as some pundits.
I wish they'd just bin the "only hire ex-players" idea and get football journalists on, they, at least, have a marginal amount of insight.
Thomas Murphy
The size of that poppy
Brandon Kelly
190 loses it whenever you mention that Swansea won't be in the PL next season and Cardiff will be. Not sure why.
Parker Hernandez
Wales is just a normal part of the country, with an importance proportional to their (small) population. Unlike the Norn Irons and Scotch, who pitch fits all the time.
Jeremiah Campbell
whose this african lad
Charles Kelly
i'm sorry there is absolutely no reason to like neil warnock
Andrew Fisher
Fuck, the nandos must get propped cheeky with shagger about
quite liked it when bt sports had the european football show and would get the likes of horncastle, brassell and laurens on desu tancredi palmieri was once on one week and he was coked up like fuck lel
Colton Ortiz
Get with the program lad, we're baiting the fat pedophilie
Evan Cruz
God, fucking stop moaning about every sodding dive like it's a Sean Dyche impression competition.
Alexander Hall
Christ, and those are the highlights they put in the ad.
Nolan Watson
>having infinite money and only having a pool table
Yeah, but the thing is I actually watch them and they're actually better than City
Jacob Roberts
norwich, leeds, derby
Hunter Williams
>Imagine being 15th in the fucking Championship I genuinely didn't know they were THAT far down, I had to even check. Fucking hell 190 no wonder you've been shilling this feels>reals shite all day. State of you Toby lad.
Christian Fisher
Be fine with Huddersfield, Fulham and Burnley going. Huddersfield are out of their depth, Fulham are a joke and Burnley are the same thing every year.
Swansea played Burnley last year the same day that Wales played England in the rugby and still filled their stadium
you bin dipping scum fuck
swim away
Jack Garcia
Stop moaning about shit you can at least watch on terrestrial. Fucking idiots must love needing Sky/BT to watch your own league.
Evan Adams
At least they aren't Sunderland lmao
Benjamin James
huddersfield's stay has been pretty unremarkable desu, they were fucking boring under wagner fulham are an absolute wreck, tony khan would rather be wanking off to mandrama than sorting his club out
Angel Nguyen
Vardy party
Dylan Gray
walk on
Lincoln Hill
Yah it really is, \m/ bleep bloop \m/ though I guess lel
Isaiah Foster
Maddison is class
Aaron Jackson
Vardy is so over-rated.
Camden Brooks
yeah he really is la'
Jacob Sanders
>The same day
You're right, that's the same thing as the game being played at the same time when Wales are on course for the slam next week. And there were still more people in the stadium than Swansea have ever had. How's that expansion work going or isn't it needed anymore?
Parker Edwards
He is, I'd fuck him
Lucas Nguyen
>not appreciating both styles and the talent involved
Stat padding against relegation fodder and the pundits are creaming their pants.
Julian Ramirez
Don't respond to me you fat fuck
Leo Lewis
Will do lad, next time you're up my way we can take some Disco Biscuits and go throw some shapes in a dark warehouse that only has two portaloos and serves only bottled water.
Bentley Wood
Wrighty dabbing on Celtic
Robert Kelly
I'd bandwagon Leicester, but Rogers makes me want to gargle bleech.
Eli Turner
Aye I do lad, just find people who write off the entire sphere of electronic music bizarre.
Slowly I want it to start moving back to the ideal premier League
Aston Villa Arsenal Birmingham City Blackburn Chelsea Everton Leeds Leicester Liverpool Manchester City Manchester United Middlesbrough Newcastle Nottingham Forest Preston North End Sheffield Wednesday Sunderland Tottenham West Ham Wolverhampton
West Brom were omitted from this because fuck them for sacking Moore
Hudson Martinez
that's a pretty comfy league desu
Camden Evans
>doesn't understand character >doesn't understand buying locks to protect your wife and your wife's son (daughter)
Yep, and people still shit on meme teams like Bournemouth who just go mental and score and let in shit loads of goals but still do well and entertain as opposed to some northern teams managed by a Pulis wannabe who grinds out a dogged point every now and then
Jaxson Martin
Anyone else /nojob/ here? Feel like shit lads, and it’s not just my raging hangover
haha, i wish an older german man would encourage me to do better and ruffle my hair, haha
Jonathan Diaz
You can't even sell out a 20,000 seat stadium after almost a decade in the Premiership and want to talk about fair weather fans. Keep coming into MOTD threads and talking about Cardiff to cope with the fact you're relegation fodder next season and a couple of years away from being the new Blackpool.
Parker Williams
Watching that Danny dyer football factories documentary
You can't convince me that people who join football firms aren't utter man children
Jaxon Hughes
I've gotten in contact with a charity called New Leaf recently after realising my parents have done nothing to equip me for the real world and have occasionally actively hampered me.
Yeh, I'm /nojob/
Cooper Hughes
Repressed benders the lot of them
Sebastian Butler
I usually describe what you look like and how much of annoying cunt you are in general as an example to newfags as to exactly how cancerous tripfags are.
You fat ginger cunt, browse anonymously and please for the sake of Yea Forums stop posting. It’s not even that no one cares about your irrelevant Sunday league club, it’s that no one genuinely cares about your opinion and what you have to say. You are an obnoxious twat trying to turn this board into something it is the opposite of. You purely exist to max out threads slightly quicker with your empty, nothing comments that most people ignore anyway.
I’d tell you to hang from a rope mate, but we both know it’d snap
Justin Collins
Just do some volunteering lads. Good for job hunting and general confidence/self-worth
Oliver Mitchell
this desu the international series was pure kino it has to be said
Liam Young
I meant gargling bleach. But not in a malicious way. Now you’ve actually asked my opinion I feel like I should give you one, so here it is; don’t let that cunt ruin football for you carry on supporting your team
Ian Walker
What are even good jobs there where you don't need a degree? Besides working for a train company
Michael Ward
>implying football isn’t for children in general
We’re all man-children desu
Ryder Hughes
coutinho to united
Nathan Wilson
I'm still not sure whether he's a masterful troll or just totally deluded.
Tyler Ortiz
If you're struggling to find work try deliveroo. The pay isn't terrible and its good exercise, easy as fuck to get too.
Jose Rodriguez
These are like the toddler version of man children then
Aiden Hernandez
Don't even need degrees any more now the government is shilling apprenticeships. Unless you're at a top university there's no advantage
Adam Barnes
For a lot of jobs having a degree is just an entry level requirement
Christopher Jenkins
No, so I have my 5:20AM alarm to look forward to on Monday.
Luis Brown
I've noticed the apprenticeship thing. I was amazed at the amount of men doing courier jobs and delivering take out. Know a guy who spends his entire week driving across England delivering things. Only one in a good position lucked out with a technician job at a train company
Ayden Martinez
Big employers will take apprentices too and you'll get the qualifications through that
If you don't have a degree/the experience it's a top foot in the door
Christian Walker
HR guilted me into taking a right mongoloid on our apprenticeship programme. "Oh go on, he was the most keen person we saw!" Good job I could fob him off onto one of my team. Not spoken to the kid in months.
Benjamin Peterson
Yeah no I definetly agree with you, those people are the most childish and ignorant bunch in a generally speaking childish and ignorant group of people. I was at the West Ham vs. Everton game for the last game of the season last year, and was astounded by some retard jumping about. He didn’t see a single thing on the pitch, and spent the entire match trying to wind up the Everton fans.
Camden Myers
If they're shit get rid
Jackson Powell
Ideal Premier League is Newcastle and 19 teams that aren't Sunderland
Evan Perry
even middlesbrough?
Angel Harris
>Middlesbrough I take it you haven't seen them playing 'footbal' this season?
Ryan Jenkins
No one actually gives a fuck Middlesbrough pal, they're the Brighton of the North
David Allen
>Preston
cunt has been watching football since the 1950s
Adrian Reyes
A Tony Pulis vehicle doesn't have to stay that way forever.
Daniel Flores
I will carry on supporting Crewe no matter what... No. Matter. What.
Luke Robinson
It's not fair to associate a style of football to a team if Tony Pulis is managing them
It's just Pulisball FC untill he eventually gets sacked and ends up at another desperate club
