/heem/ - DANCE Edition

Will Marreta end Jones?

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Can you not? I'm eating

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That slow ass walk to the octagon annoyed me

Why did he do it?

Max is going to vacate the featherweight belt only if he loses.

other than cerrone who are multi millionaire fighters who aren't faggots?

fuck refs and fuck going to the scorecards

youtube him getting knocked out if you want to feel better

He's crazy.

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>those milkers
how far along is she?

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brehs

he's brazilian actually, common misunderstanding

i almost feel bad for that kid

instagram.com/p/BuYts5igQDh/

heem
everyone
even
myself

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owwwww
my tummy hurt

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lol

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*heems you

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Brazilians are roiders
BJJ sucks and it’s a copy of catch wrestling
Huemonkeys are dirty fighters
Huezilian crowds are disrespectful
Mot a single br champion has been legiid other than The lioness, whi is as legiid as it gets

*submits you*

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>Tell me what happened to tower 7 then fag

I want to see Bravo, Rogan, and Schaub in a three way street fight

“USADA determined based on looking at all those data points, based on learning about this M3 metabolite probably within the last year, they’re unable to meet the burden of showing that however that got in his system — and I don’t think there’s any question that at some point it got in his system — but they’re unable to show that whenever it got in his system was during USADA jurisdiction,” said Novitzky, the UFC’s vice president of athlete health and performance.

Here is a look at Salikhov’s USADA drug-testing history:

Nov. 7, 2017: Negative
March 12, 2018: Negative
April 14, 2018: Negative
June 7, 2018: M3 (8 pg/mL)
July 18, 2018: Negative
Oct. 16, 2018 M3 (8 pg/mL)
Dec. 8, 2018: Negative
Dec. 8, 2018: Negative
Dec. 8, 2018: M3 (4 pg/mL)
Feb. 7, 2018: Negative

The last seven drug-test samples were analyzed at the World Anti-Doping Agency (WADA)-accredited Laboratoire Suisse d’Analyse du Dopage (LSAD) in Lausanne, Switzerland. The first three were analyzed at the Sports Medicine Research and Testing Laboratory (SMRTL) in Salt Lake City, also a WADA-accredited lab.

mmafighting.com/2019/3/4/18250707/ufcs-muslim-salikhov-cleared-by-usada-in-doping-case-similar-to-one-involving-jon-jones

>schaub charges
>rogan and eddie flee

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rogan would have been deactivated if he had alex jones walk into the room today

>schaub charges for double leg straight into rogan's back kick has a brain hemorrhage and dies live on air

Schaubs fat as fuck b
His knees would give in.
The three of em are lovers tho.
Eddi the only straight one

so ur telling me my best friends have been buttfucking each other for 20 years?

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How long until he abandon her

When the kid comes out even darker than him

judging from the size of her stomach it shouldn't be too long now

Damn, that looks like one of those African machete slayings.

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Dustin folds Holloway

unlikely

Dustin holds Followay

Hue'd

dustin is a can

the madman is back

*heems you with a jab*
Sorry kid, just turned you into a heem meme

you guys said the same about usman...

Remember the time when dern was pure and virginal and Twitchgod and his wife would delight us with quality cahlmedy?
Good times

I did?

You think I'm the spammer?

This is da based finn poster matti lepinem

no you're dernmark!

and remember lukas' tcity posts. that zilch checked out too.

Fuck yeeeeah
No way

YANG GANG

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How red is danas face right now

I mean, they can just go fight at golden boy productions or whatever it was called if they don't like earning "as little" as 12k a fight.

>go to work at most 4 times a year
>complain about wages
fucking commies

so it's pretty much agreed the two dumbasses porier and holloway get wrestlefucked into a 5round decision by khabib?

collective bargaining is not communism.

Holloway is good at not being taken down, but all of the Wrestlers in FW are manlets unlike Khabib so yeah probably

Somebody Yangpill me. Ive seen him posted here a few times and now he is getting memed all over /pol/

The stories that get told on r/mma are low T and totally unfitting for the most brutal sport in the world. What should be the front page for fighting should also capture the raw nature of fighting. Instead it's a billboard for nostalgia and inside jokes (stupid memes). Fuck reddit. Fuck r/mma.

I'm going to deliver the best mma content you have ever seen straight to /heem/ and the stories I tell will get so many (you)'s it will forever alter the way an entire generation of fight fans remembers history. I will alter how fate will ultimately make you perceive things. I will build up my boy's for thousands of fans and I will ruin the careers of not my boy's just by writing so powerfully about these fighters that I actually alter their destiny through the manipulation of public opinion I am able to yield simply by posting anonymously. Spergs will get revved and yikes will be had.

Come. Shall we begin?

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Get a dog bro

tldr

*heems you

I keep having this reoccurring dream where I heem my high school tormentors with textbook high kicks and then GSP and I share a long hug afterwards. Anyone know what this could mean?

It means you've got what it takes brother

Based on the three pieces of information I have about you (leaf, heem psiter, that’s dream) it’s 100% repressed homosexuality.

yeah, even though your response was to a Finn anytime you have a conversation about worker's rights you see how cucked Americans are, like they approach it with a cucked mindset.

Are you a black girl by any chance

>Muslim LW Champ
>Christian LHW Champ
What does God mean by this?

I cant heem anyone in my dreams, it wont let me

the thing is we never saw holloway against edgar or mendes. he beat better fighters though, but still

Atheists are retards

It means that we have to do something about false idol worshippers like the Hindus

i never could really figure out what exactly nate said before schaub insulted him. any of you guys know?
youtu.be/ba1XWuysFaI

>"Give me belt, Dana."

What did he mean by this?

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look at the size of this motherfucker
youtu.be/AJyfYv38zlk

i wish i was a chad like him

Cerrone has literally no chance against Conor. There is a real reason why he always chokes in big fights. He simply doesn't care about being champion. He doesn't have that outside motivation that true champions have to be the absolute best. He fights for fun and to pay the bills, not to be the best. He thinks he already won by getting the fight. When it is time to really dig down deep, there is nothing there, no light at the end of the tunnel to keep him going. Similarly to how atheists can never be great fighters.

he gases after 1 round after his massive cut

>"Wake up, 'bib"

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Conor isn't champion, he can dispose him.

From what I can gather

>Nate: dont nobody know wata fukin gazell is. This is fuggin america

Schaub: I think you'd be surprised. zoology is a peach of a subject matter in the US

>Nate: why you usin all these big wurdz an shit I'll fugin beat yo ass

isn't this fight already cancelled?

Cerrone isn't going to fight him.

It's going to be McNuggets vs El Cucuy after April when his suspension is up.

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>Conor with a belt
Lmao

too bad yoel decided to do a bitch ass tv show so this fight aint gunna happen I was so excited for it FUCK

that tv show isn't what's stopping him from fighting costa, it's the current logjam with israel,fatselum, and whittaker.

It's the Proper 12™ belt.

>Israel
Hmmm

Jon won the decision....

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I don't subscribe to conspiracy theories really, ever. However after what GSP was talking about I think jones is on something similar to turnibol in that it creates a similar chemical chain. Like maybe something where the enzyme breaks down more quickly.

Who wins the boxing match Askren or Rousey?

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what is causing this behavior from Goob

You would be surprised

irrelevance

He has lost his motivation to fight due to money, whiskey, and cocaibe. He is trying to recapture his love of the fight game

based and wokepilled

Wtf why?

you're in the UFC light heavy weight fight against jon "bones" jones
the glitz and the lights hit you as you walk out
you sit there and then the music starts, it's jonny bones walk out song
the ref asks you if you understand the rules and the fight starts
Jones slinks towards like Anderson Spider Silva
You stand there in awe, terrified, not knowing that to do
he drags you to the canvas by your ankle, still squating
he extends his neck over to you and you feel a little tickle
he whispers to you "are you ready, pussy?"
you feel your shorts start to come down
the whole arena starts yelling "TAKE IT TAKE IT TAKE IT"
your eyes start to tear up as you feel his 11" BBC ripping into your tender butt
there's a bit of sweat but not enough, you hear a pop
you lay there on the floor, the whole arena laughing at you, blood and poop everywhere
Bruce Buffer's voice booms, "Winner by Total BBC, and STIIIIILLLLLL"
You are crying so hard that you're choking
"JON BONES JONES"

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Trying to stay relevant (without fighting) so he can shill proper 12, his workout program, clothes and whatever else is the flavor of the month.

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>he's still not banned

cuz its a shit fight

>Hey bro, wanna go toss the skin?

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Is his Whiskey actually any good? no meme answers please.

Tell me about Askren, why does he make Albanian toilet cleaners in Switzerland seethe?

Conor turned it down when Dana said it had to be a co-main event. They only want title fights to be headliners of PPVs. So now Conor is going to wait for August or October or whenever Khabib is coming back.

Tastes like diluted bushmills desu.

Because he's gonna take the Belt by 2020 and will completely delete kesqwib and his memebo when they fight

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Someone else started running his social media accounts

>YOUS'LL STRIP ME OF NUTTIN YOUSE DO NUTTIN CUNSE

And in the blue corner, fighting out of Fort Lauderdale, Florida by way of High Ridge, Missouri, MICHAEL "MY WIFE'S SOOOOOOOOON" CHANDLERRR!

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165 title

which one smells worse

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no wonder he fights angry

Would be kino but khabib would definitely never take that fight because he’s a pussy

So why is the decision for if an illegal strike warrants a DQ based on if the strike does enough damage to actually KO your opponent? Even worse, why only if that opponent decides to take the DQ win?

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never getting your free shit

not gonna lie I laughed pretty hard at this.

You need to stuff it in a freezer for a few years. Otherwise it’s fucking firewater, you get a huge sweetness up front, vanilla and honey like with a hinf of oakiness, then the alcohol burns your entire oral cavity

those aren't the only two options

When you wrote it?

We are only a month away until there will be footage of schaubs stand up comedy on the internet.

I'm being menaced by an Asian gang.

BETTER RECOGNIZE KID
#YANG GANG

i think you'd be surprised

I didn't write it

this.

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It’s true for a ton of stuff in America where people have been convinced to vote against their own self interest.

Friendship ended with Dern
Now Weili is my best friend

isn't it past all you middle american boomers bedtimes?

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Who wrote it? Can the person who wrote it please make themselves known.

yeah, like the 1965 immigration act.

I wrote it, sorry I was too busy reading it to your mom as a bedtime story to respond earlier.

you still there pussy?

this

big if ture

Card of the century

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the dern mobile

my money is on the pajeet

Gregor 'The Gift' Gillespie

Just bought a case of this brehs. Finna heem all the goofs

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Finna take Klee to deep waters

for me its petchmorrakot petchyindee academy

we didn't vote for that, we voted for the people that voted for that; America has never voted on a national referendum of any sort

you guys think Mommy Dern's breast milk tastes like acai?

Cute gimmick, enjoy the acne and diarrhea

probably tastes like a fart

For me it's Brown Pinas

>Huezilian crowds are disrespectful
No shit. Do you remember the Olympics?
Truly a disgraceful people. Aldo is the exception, def not the rule.

who's the most based bong on discord?
luke
valbong
reem bless
britbong
cuppu
elliot

>Shall we begin?
not if you're going to yammer on about washed-up hype jobs like mcgregor

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it means you will have a good life, with GSP guiding your way, your silent protector.

>Open heem folder
>See this

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Don’t know who any of those dorks are. I like the Brit who supports JBJ

Adrenaline

Nate is adorably dumb.
I wouldn't count on him to water my plant for a week, 'cause it might outsmart him and escape, but he's entertaining af.

what is this a heem folder for ants

That’s dockie

rate my /heem/ folder bros

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he's not important anymore, so either he's trying to reinvent himself, or the real Conor is coming out, via contrition.

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I don’t have the DC sipping the straw one

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Is he a black redhead? What the hell?

enjoy, killer

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never heard of based adoption

Literally zero OC.

Why don't you heem yourself off a bridge

>willfully cucking urself

big yikes from me

>Just bought a case of this
I'm sure your organs will hate you for it. Enjoy shortening your lifespan, bro.

What's in your kimono folder

Isn't Jones catholic tho?

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Not understanding Western civilization or Christianity.
You have to go back.

Wait, are there people here who aren’t ufc fighters?

>people drink made in china magical energy powders like this everyday

could you imagine?

cringe

...

Yikes. Get some filenames

>I want my child to be proud of me and give us a better life

She wants a fuckin baby to give her a better life? How about you make weight and earn some money yourself?

wdym?

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>criticizing the pregnant girls weight

absolutely based

>How about you make weight
she's pregnant, Joshua.

Much obliged heem bro

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Why aren't there any good black wmma fighters?

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thawlts?

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>wake up, audience

What happened?

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>brazilian legends.jpg
I wonder if that Russian is still around, dude made awesome shoops

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John Lineker if you turn up the sliders to go all the way

You have to look at the price and realize it’s the best shit priced whiskey on the market imo. Better than R and R and Jameson, but still shit compared to real whiskey

Got fed quality opponents

youtube.com/watch?v=30Ujz5sCS3k

Where'd it all go wrong?

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I'm a little surprised you don't have more Danas

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Why are gringos such whiny pussies? That crowd was following the football culture not one gives a fuck about the olympics. We care about our athletes winning

Its settled, Askren is 2 - 0 in UFC
twitter.com/darrentill2/status/1103004793168109568

I've had Johnny Walker Blue before as well as good single-malt scotches. the taste is very strong, you can easily tell the quality of the alcohol is somehow better through the maturation process and whatever else may contribute to it -- but I never actually enjoy drinking it. it feels closer to petrol and has to be sipped if you don't want to waste a lot of money. I prefer just taking shots or having cocktails. I'm basic as fuck, but my preferred drink at a bar is a Jack & coke. and I've had a lot of cocktails. was recently in New Orleans for a wedding and the groom's buddy is a bartender so he got me all sorts of shit.

now that I think about it, though, the New Orleans hand grenade is delicious. pic related. you can drink it out in public, too. loads of people carry this bright green rascals around wherever you are in the city, among other drinks.

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I have a few more scattered around but yeah not that many

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jon jones isn't a christian. he's just using it as a shield for the fact he's a cunt. he picked the idea up from cyborg who used it unironically.

>from cyborg
he is been like that since the first time he got in the ufc

He has a bible verse on his chest

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You guys don't unironically believe that americans are clean, right? you can't be that naive

After that first punch he shoulda just gotten out of there.

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>Oh yeah you wanna heem me? Okay gimme your best shot sonny boy my chin can handle it after 30+ amateur boxing fights

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Prime schaub heems jones

>tfw Till and MT fag
>tfw you just know he's gonna throw the Masdival fight to duck the fight with Askren

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Rothwell is back saturday

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Schaub was so shit that he got KO'd on the feet by big nog

stop posting this webm

why

Be wise and listen to the aussie

>Brazil

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

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Cro Cop won the decision
Big Country won the fight

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What was brave about his performance? He got his ass whooped all fight and barely threw any offence at all, at some point he was literally just sitting like a school kid while jon just punched him in the face.
He probably didn't wanna take the dq win not only because he would have been a laughing stock but also because he would have had to fight jones again

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He went into mma instead of kickboxing

Jones proper mogged him in there

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Are you high or something?

>starts from knees.

lmao, they're basically flow rolling and starting from the knees at that. even the bjj community thinks this is gay.

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fluke

Oh for sure

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>d-dw guys cody will learn from that tj fight and come back better..heck he even almost won at the end of Rd 1!!!
>o-ok guys second time was unlucky but he'll learn from this and come to expect that overhand right...no way he'll get knocked out the same way 3 times in a row
>f-fourth times the charm right?

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youtube.com/watch?v=WyKB01GNtUc
>when you realise Woodley's mum bet on Usman

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Don't think ive ever laughed at a KO, this might have been the first

>training and keeping your diet in check all day every day is not considered work because you only get to show the results 4 times in a year
Ok faggot

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>Matt Hughes is a terrible human being!

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>cope

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I was really high when I wrote that

Back down under we call a gay cunt. Keep the Brandon webms coming you Darren Tilll.

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this but unsarcastically and as a compliment and in a wise old Kung Fu master accent

???

Megan Anderson literally has a tattoo on her pussy.

If she's your fitefu I've got some bad news for you.

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The way Tyron woodley refuses to accept the blame for his performance tells me he's done. He might win another fight but he's done.

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Who was that chick sitting next to Tyron's mom? His wife? Sister? She's p cute.

Any girl on mma has been filled with cum of the guys at her gym, more news at 6

Askren got slammed by a brawler, Khabib would ragdoll him at 155. except Asscan is too much of a coward to stop being fat and actually walk the walk, but he will keep calling out Khabib to give up his belt and fight in imaginary divisions that will never be made, lmao.

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>mudslime defending another mudslime
lel. Face it abdul regardless of 155 or 170, Askren heems your boy.

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>Megan Canderson as your fitefu
What kind of low self esteem move is this even?

oh for sure real estate agents are a beast

I had a dream where me and George St Pierre were both cops and he was my partner and he had to go investigate a house in the boonies together and all the rooms kept shifting places it was weird

Lots of intriguing matchups out their for Askren

How does one stand sure on a pussy

That's why you gay

>Any girl on mma has been filled with cum of the guys at her gym
Now I see...

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Asscan got outwrestled and almost finished by a guy who lost to RDA, lmao. Khabib would both wrestlefuck him and knock him out either on the feet or on the ground.

#4 in the most prestigious and talent packed division in the UFC is pretty beastly, I agree. With Max Holloway moving to LW, the division literally can't get any more stacked.

>outwrestled

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Suplexes are a freak thing that can happen to almost anybody out of nowhere, by your logic Fedor was "almost finished" by Kevin Randleman

>doesn't even defend being called a muslim

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Asscan got literally gifted that win, Robbie wasn't out and was waiting for Asscan to burn his arms out.

>waiting for Askren to burn his arms out
Lad...

youtube.com/watch?v=DvHWFmOosmA

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>arm drops flat

>h-he wasnt out
Lol

Burn his arms out on what? Robbie is turned into the choke and wasn’t even trying to fight grips. He goes out in seconds. Khabib would unironically get flatlined by Robbie

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>almost

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>canby borington

>please get tired

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>reddit trying to meme
Oof. Swing and a miss

>Khabib would unironically get flatlined by Robbie
You mean the same Robbie who couldn't handle RDA's pressure and grappling? Lmao.

Also, you have to be retarded to think that Robbie was out. People don't recover immediately after being choked out, there is always some degree of disorientation involved. This is not a flash KO, people get choked out from lack of oxygen supplied to the brain and need a few seconds to recover. Robbie was completely fine when Herb stopped the fight.

>Colpoo Poovington

"On September 11, 2001, Ali Abdel Aziz was booked on a flight from Cairo to New York using a stolen passport with the name of a U.S. citizen named Robert Britton. The flight was cancelled because of the terrorist attacks. Aziz was later caught with five passports linked to terrorist group Fuqra and charged with various crimes including passport fraud, check fraud and counterfeiting."

fuqrafiles.com/knowledgebase/nypd-informant-ali-abdel-aziz/

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Any wrestling/bjj memers what to explain to me how Robbie was getting out of here regardless of whether he passed.

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"colby" has to be the least intimidating name for a fighter. It sounds so silly
"The straight killer COLBY!!"

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>b-but rda!!!
And RDA went 5 rounds with Robbie (who tore his ACL halfway through the fight). For sure Tibau is a munster

>youd be have to be retarded to think someone who went completely limp and motionless was out
For sure

>People don't recover immediately after being choked out
Yeah they do. Robbie went out multiple times. Sorry you never trained

One thing I don't think anyone has mentioned is that Robbies left arm is slinked down too. he was fucking out.

>limp and motionless was out
>gives thumbs up when Herb checks him

>And RDA went 5 rounds with Robbie
Why wouldn't he? That's what RDA does, he's a pressure fighter. Seems like you know nothing of MMA, kid.

No, they don't. Robbie went out zero times. Sorry you never trained

once it is in though, it is really hard to get out of, turning either way tightens the choke, there was a Gracie breakdown on it yesterday
youtube.com/watch?v=V4-fBRkyxJw

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Borington vs Snoozeman

WW is fucked

>gives herb a thumbs up
Yes. That’s after he initially goes out. Did you watch the fight? Pretty limp thumbs up anyway

>why wouldnt he?
What point are you even making? What is this relevance?

>he’s a pressure fighter
What’s that have to do with going 5 rounds with Robbie? Did someone choke you out just now?

>you know nothing!!!
Lol you never trained a day in your life, fag. When you do, come holler back

He most likely wasn't desu, but if you favor the side that he wasnt out, then he would have been fine as the choke was on his jaw and not his neck. It would have been uncomfortable but there wasn't really a way for it to get worse. Askren most likely would try to readjust and Robbie could have used that opportunity to figure something out.

>eddie idk please let me go

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>That’s after he initially goes out.
Had he initially gone out, he would have been disoriented when Herb stopped the fight. Robbie was completely fine when Herb separated them. Moreover, even if he was out for a second (he wasn't, but assume he was just to demonstrate your retardation from another angle) and then recovered, this means that Asscan's grip was weakening, he was unable to keep depriving Robbie's brain of oxygen due to insufficient carotid artery compression and Robbie was no longer in any danger when the fight was stopped.

>What point are you even making?
What point are YOU making, you inbred mongoloid sack of dogshit? RDA went the distance with Robbie like he usually does when he wins and pressurefucked him into an unanimous decision.

>What’s that have to do with going 5 rounds with Robbie?
What does going the distance have to do with the fact that he won, dumbfuck?

Lol you never trained a day in your life, fag. When you do, come holler back

Obviously I'm not the Kraut, but I've trained bjj for 3 years and probably seen around a dozen people pass out from a choke. Not once have I seen someone come to immediately, much less remember their bearings and be able to balance perfectly as Robbie did.

Yeah you have no clue what you’re talking about. Here’s an actual professional affirming your disorientation bullshit is just that
Skip to 9 minutes then lose some weight and hit a gym
youtu.be/kypd07ZT5aQ

Cool story. I have and so have hundreds of actual professionals that attest to it

the only thing that matters

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Can you even satisfy a grill like that if you don't have an 8" x 6" dick BREHS . . .

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Can you even satisfy her without a hairline like this

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Bisping already settled the issue
youtu.be/YZbn96rPi-M
@4:22
Robbie was gadooshed

Kyle Hill at the Slate asked the question about a similar stunt in the Star Trek movie. Quoting a bike-helmet study published in the Journal of Neurosurgery: Pediatrics, he wrote that 235 kg (520 pounds) or 2,300 newtons of force would be needed to crush a human skull
sciencealert.com/game-of-thrones-exposed-the-science-of-skull-crushing

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>Bisping
like we care what CTE thinks

I don’t care what little pondscum like you think

Listened to the hole thing.

>one side of the brain receiving blood
Lmao. No wonder Big Cuck McCuck was booted from the UFC, he's a fucking retard.

>it's not a choke like a choke where I can put the guy out
>he starts to come back and he starts to lose and he starts to come back
Lmao. Irrelevant, as long as the fighter is not out.

In the end, the only thing you've proven here is that you know nothing what you're talking about, retard. Robbie wasn't out, which is the reason why there was no disorientation. Same thing goes for the Dvalishvili who didn't need time to recover because he wasn't out either.

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Coach Brian here.
youtu.be/wZ3yUTNzRPk?t=810

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Johnny Walker maybe can't /heem/ JBJ but he might be reckless enough to confrontate him like a man

I called it back in December.

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Lawler stumbled as he got up, not many mention this.

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Oh look. A fat dumbass who doesn’t train pretending he knows more than a certified instructor to teach the sport to fighters, refs, and judges

You’re really fucking stupid. Im laughing at how much of a stupid fat fuck you are

Back to back picks champ. And this. I'm clearly the biggest mma expert on /Heem/

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probably not.

Child, your "certified instructor" doesn't understand basic anatomy, lmao. The smelly turd I squeezed out this morning is a better expert on chokes than Big Cuck McCuck. Contrary to what inbred mongoloids think, blockage of a single carotid does not mean that only one part of your brain gets supplied by oxygen, lmao. People can go on living without symptoms even when one of their carotids is blocked 100%:

>If the artery is 100 percent blocked
What happens when a carotid artery is 100 percent blocked?
>It’s bad, but it’s not the end of the world. You’ve still got three other arteries supplying blood flow to the brain.

health.clevelandclinic.org/carotid-artery-disease-part-two/

Moreover, Big Cuck himself said that this type of choke is not a choke that can actually put a fighter out, you literally have no argument. kys

Hmmm, trained professionals and instructors or armchair butthurt neckbeard. Tough choice...

Why is the hw division so shallow?

Lol you’re REALLY fucking stupid dude. Like REALLY REALLY stupid. You’ve never trained lmao

>Hmmm,
shut the fuck up

Lol you’re REALLY fucking stupid dude. Like REALLY REALLY stupid. You’ve never trained lmao

Oh, and you also have no argument, because in the very video you've presented Big Cuck himself admits that this is not the choke that can put a fighter out.

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Almost 5 seconds passes between Lawlers hand dropping and him getting up. Ben letting up pressure slightly when Herb first touches him and then fully letting go took 2 seconds. Lawler tapped with that limp ass arm, faggots.

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Wait, I remember Carlos Newton choking someone out with that same choke

I have a jpg for moments like these

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There’s no argument to be made lol. You can’t understand basic English. He said it’s not the type of choke that puts you out cold like a typical choke. He nonetheless said Merab was out. You’re too fucking stupid and arguing against people that actually know what they’re talking about with your nonexistent experience lmao

Robbie either went out or was trying a brazil-tap. Fair stoppage either way.

>There’s no argument to be made lol.
Indeed, because Big Cuck has no clue how anatomy works and contradicts himself multiple times in his own statement. You would have to state something coherent in order to make an actual argument, retard.

Lol none of this medical shit has any support to your argument. The symptoms include neurological and motor damage

You are really fucking dumb lol

It's not even his real name though. Look it up

He didn’t contradict himself nor make any medically incorrect claims. You’re just too stupid to understand simple words. Probably because you’re an inbred towelhead

Wrong. My argument is supported by the fact that 100% blocakge of a single carotid does not result in immediate loss of consciousness, people can go on living for long periods of time with a single completely blocked carotid without experiencing symptoms in some cases.

>states that blockage of a single carotid means only one part of your brain is supplied by oxygen
>states that this type of choke is not a choke that can put a fighter out, then says that he was out
>He didn’t contradict himself nor make any medically incorrect claims.

You're as retarded as him.

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Your argument has nothing to do with anything. You’ve jumped from showing youve never trained a day in your obese pathetic to life, to some random shit about RDA, to being completely incapable of paying attention and comprehending two minutes of someone talking without completely misinterpreting every word. You’ll notice Big John says Merab is RECEIVING blood from his carotid artery but you don’t pay attention because you’re fucking retarded. This also has NOTHING to do with with popping into consciousness instantly lmao

Your English is shitty, youre mentally stunted from choking yourself while jerking off, and mentally ill from anime. It’s no surprise you literally cannot comprehend the words he’s saying. He literally says Merab receives blood from the carotid, and that the choke he is being given is simply not typical in that it doesn’t flatline people, not that it doesn’t put you out. Am I teaching ESL?

Where did it go so wrong?

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When Usman blocked his carotid artery. Nearly choked him out! Many such cases - Sad!

You are still jerking over that gay sex manual? Get a life, you pathetic zilch, lol

Worked

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at birth

>I fucked your sister Robbie

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more like this

Maybe I'm forgetting but it seems there are literally 0 title fights scheduled.

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we're working on it buddy

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Why can't we have good fights? Only poo fights lately.

235 was fun until the title fights.

lewis vs jds will deliver my friend

There are plenty of great fights, problem is they get forgotten because we're so overloaded with cards. Barberena-Luque was a fucking barnburner but it already feels like ancient history

prime schaub would heem ngannou

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what prime?

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Askren and Cody's fights were good.

What's next for this cheeky macaco?

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he beat prime cro cop in his prime

floss and a toothbrush

that was a fluke. he got outboxed by a geriatric man in his next fight

All i really want to do is get high and mow lawns in the trailer park

And that's ok.

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Agreed. Anyone who doesn't think this guy is the most on point poster is a dumbfuck.

Is there any board or general on 4channel that could beat up /heem/?

the gracies explained on yt there was no way out

I don't get why people keep saying "PPV is dead".

The UFC have never had consistent PPV numbers and they literally broke their PPV record last year with Khabib Vs Conor.

n-n-no way

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The model can't last without Conor though, WWE is stronger than ever financially after getting rid of PPVs.

robbie lawler fanbois are the worst
they can't accept that even without that stoppage he was going to lose in a couple seconds

Yeah, it's different now because the butter used to be spread a lot more evenly, but the model itself isn't in any real danger

youtube.com/watch?v=1ua8NlkdOuU

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What do the other Gracies think of Rener and Ryron?

Why do people still train shit like Aikido and Wing Chun? I think an untrained man is better at fighting than people who train this stuff.

they can't be any worse than ralek
youtube.com/watch?v=FBYmZsUjSFE

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he will never take that fight

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I like them both and we can't say for sure man, it certainly looked bad but did the beginning of the fight. 235 seems like it was staged or some shit when I think about it

>Zhang fight for actual kino
>Cody getting heemed again
>Askren Lawler beginning and end
>Woodley getting fucking unbelievably dominated, getting dramatically BTFO for 25 minutes
>Jones doing illegal shit

The entire card was some WWE drama for the most part

He already won over 30 seconds earlier, having separated Benthony Bumkren from his consciousness three times in 5 seconds. It was a late stoppage and Robbie's post-victory adrenaline jump / UFC jitters assured Bengay the victory via a choke that is by the way illegal in wrestling, the very art Bendumbass claims to represent.

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The funniest part was Woodley asking for a rematch.

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Walker is the man who will break Bones and everyone knows it in their heart

Do they have a fight scheduled?

post fighters who almost certainly are serial killers in their daily life

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2bh if the fight was on concrete askren would be dead

What steps if any could Conor McGregor take to restore or surpass his former glory?

Nice try on getting people to view your youtube channel faggot!

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they should be on concrete if they're trying to simulate real fight scenarios. if someone gets knocked out and hurts their head on the ground it's on them, they put themselves in that position.

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Why not put lions and allow weapons as well?

Winning a fight would be a start

heem?

Calm down Kavanagh

I think if he got the khabib rematch, beat him, then hopped the cage and fly kicked Ali it would rocket him back into the public imagination. Winning the trilogy would transform him into a literal god.

Goddamn right

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he needs to fight way more often
he's obviously just looking for money fights now, but his star will eventually begin to fade because of his inactivity
normies won't care about him as much anymore
he really needs to string together a few KOs

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Have you ever heard of this chinese art that looks like judo?
youtube.com/watch?v=5E0OcUA6rv8

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Woodley wins the rematch

one of the dumbest things I've read today

Fighters who would beat Usman:
>Colby
>Darren Till
>Ben Asskren
>Demian Maia
>Gunnar Nelson
>Stephen Thompson

tbqh with you, only thompson can, maybe till

Pettis is a 170er now too

>bepis
>beating usman

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God , i can't wait to see Colby send Usman back to third world

Colby will beat him with a minimal of fuss.

Kung fu is so dumb. I hate its existence. China committed a crime by presenting us with these failures wasting everyone's time. Imagine how many people wasted their time training this garbage..

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i'm not sure if i wanna see cody heem'd again, i think he's suffered enough.

post marty banging twood against the cage

"kung fu" is just how chinese say martial arts
they call kickboxing "tai kungfu", and mma "american kungfu"

ok

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I know but we are speaking English and in English kung fu means "chinese martial art" shitty stuff like Baguazhang, wing chun.

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i had a dream colby covington walked out to this song against usman
youtu.be/UyAtD75kMr0

wow, some of these actually landed
i remember this being mostly shadow boxing, but i guess he did hit meat

Based jimmy Smith letting faggots know with his bjj experience that Herb fucked up on the askren/lawler stoppage.
youtu.be/80V4vn60kts

marquardt vs usman the fight to make

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Usman is so painfully average. He must have the least impressive run to the title since Montano. You could tell Tyron was looking flat before the fight even started if you're not a c*zzie.

USADA'd

His ears are too nice, i dont trust him

Could be, assuming you meant Tyron. I don't really rate him that highly either.
>mfw laughing in my friends face when he said Tyron may have a point about being WWGOAT and listing off all the reasons he can't ever surpass GSP before 235 started

For sure hunnert present Till beats Usman

one hundie percentamento

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he'll walk out to rap but not that

Askren recovered effortlessly, he was in no danger and Herb correctly didn't stop it
Robbie only regained consciousness to do the thumbs up because Askren loosened his grip when Herb came closer
Robbie claims he couldn't hear Herb because his ears were blocked, but they weren't, meaning it was due to blood circulation. This proves that Askren could've choked him out on command

Askren beat Robbie fair and square and if Dana demands a rematch it's out of pure butthurt

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>Askren recovered effortlessly
so did lawler, herb robbed him of being a warrior.

>if Dana demands a rematch it's out of pure butthurt
stopped reading. Dana gives him the rematch because he was clearly not out

Bust down thotiana

Cody should learn to code

>Rogan going "OHHHHHHH THAT HURT HIM" when Tyron threw that flimsy knee that didn't even land

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I wanna see Askren - Lawler rematch, after Askren has his title

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yeah he woke up with askren loosened his grip. He lost

Switzerland is the single worst poster

i bet that faggot speaks french

God, a flush knee up to the jaw is one those reasons id never have the balls to be a fighter.

Just imagine taking that without a mouth guard

>humps at him at 0.2
lol why

Yeah I always cringe when someone eats a knee whether they get KO'd from it or not.

finna post some kneems

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based real american

KNEEM SLEEPY

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Why do people from reddit and youtube come here? You should be quick or someone will post a joke about Tony under mmahour video before you

He would have won right here if he wasnt a brainlet

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Now that the dust has settled...

...is Anthony Smith a can?

based bas

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actually got more kneems than i realised

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honorable can lad

silva finna sleep

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i dont even rate gsp, its not like he never lost and quality of fighter is way higher now than even 5 years ago

yes, this was a nothing fight to Jon. He pretty much parked the bus and settled for an easy 1-0 victory in footballing terms

There are so many clips of askren straight eating knees when he goes in and it never brings him down

>they call mma "american kungfu"
Don't let the hues know lmao

Jds meme ends soon

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Im cume

fucking retard

Reminder that this happened, and it was the biggest BTFOing in the ufc. Just imagine.

>Guy knocks you the flying fuck out cold
>Immediately starts talking about your gf's "fine ass" infront of hundreds of thousands of people, as they all laugh and cheer it on
>You can do absolutely nothing about it, this guy just beat the shit out of you and would do it again if you tried.

it was basically a public neutering. Travis' pride, career, and masculinity all got flushed, forever, directly to the bottom of the bowl of the porcelain schaub receptacle, never to return.

JUST.

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>Desktop
storing all these pics on the desktop is pure autism

kek nice spot. what a sperg

That makes it more funny

And just to top it off Yamasaki gave him some extra CTE for his troubles

Fuck me I don't recall ever seeing this angle

what's the most intelligent thing someone can say about MMA?

Fuck isis

Not a real sport

It attracts autists

can almost spell mama

Its like boxing for idiots.

Less rigged than boxing

100% Heterosexual

black chicks are underrepresented in the sport and they have the only quality that's good about mma, big bundas

Now that you mention it.. there aren't a lock of black mma girls
why

Is Travis Rousey-Browne retired?

>you are now aware Dariush still exists

member when this thread was hyping him to be champ? i member.

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hunnie pasento

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Vick is so good at getting heemed.
I wish he'd fight the top 5 guys all in a row.

I want to see Vick do good.

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Lanklet btfo

>JDS
>ZDS

>Means
>Ivanov (its 50:50, but muh patriotism)
>Dariush

>Akhmedov
>Martin
>Kunitskaya
>Dawson

>Hughes
>Smolka
>Ottow
>Morete

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based toilet till

>you can't choke somebody through their jaw

Stop saying this retarded myth. The Gracie breakdown proves this is bullshit. I've listened to Danaher talk about choking through the jaw for too long to keep hearing this shit.

For sure this whitebelt has been around. He knows a lot more than Rener.

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There are people reading this that I could heem

Bet on the black beast

Lewis is literal free money except against manlets

Biggest strength is his heart.

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That guy is such a faggit and so is the other guy and so are you

No way, JDS wins this 9 times out of 10.

>the best submission grappling coach in the world is a faggot

Maybe, but he's the best at what he does.

No he's not

desu
>Askren
>Maia
>Nelson

All legitimately could beat SNOOZEman

Also Colby is unironically the people's champ and Woodley ducked him

JDS is getting fucking swarmed up against the cage and finished just like stipe did.

didnt even notice my lowkey nig courteous curtis on this card

Lewis is going to put him in a twister he's been training for it

JDS finna take a trip to h-town

Who is better? Danaher's techniques are the most reliable, the most tested, and the most refined. Most other coaches are cavemen by comparison "grug grab arm, grug twist arm now".

His techniques suck and he doesn't have hair

The only way Lewis wins is if JDS pulls a Volkov and continues risking till the final seconds despite winning handily on points. He won't.
I think JDS beats Lewis like a punching bag for 5 rounds, and gets a decision.

It's not going decision you're a fool to think so.

Stop posting this picture.

Ben TRASHCAN is a bum. He's not UFC material. This legendary """wrestler""" gets slammed on his head by a brawler 10 seconds into his debut, wow really fucking impressive Ben. He then is pounded into unconsciousness, woken only by another bomb from Lawler. He then was gifted a bullshit "submission" from somebody that wasn't in any danger, didn't tap, and was seconds away from slamming Askren on his head again and beating his ass some more.

Don't (you) me. He's a bum, and he's going to get exposed again the next time he fights, if he even fights again.

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Let the Bong make the thread.

Let The Burger make the thread.

You could have Entered The System™ and been somebody. Instead, you rejected Danaher's wisdom and will always remain a jobber.

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Jiro is a racist piece of shit

I'd heem him

Disagree. Its a decision win for JDS.

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New www.bjpenn.com

you are the bong. MAKE IT NOW!

JDS will murder him. He looked pretty mediocre against bam bam tho. Lewis is nice guy but he is an awful fighter

heem is derived from a Brazilian (a relative powerhouse of MMA competitors) attempting to say "he is sleepy" as "heem sleepy".

Name one spanish champion. Fuck off nigger

only a brainlet didn't enjoy watching Jones break down Smith with reading/striking in 235

Based. I masturbate to Ip man getting heemed by that Brit boxer.

topkek

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