/heem/ - career ending pregnancy edition

Conor vs Askren would be a great fight unironically

just saw your arm go limp kiddo, guess I won the fight
better luck next time

Is he truly the gold standard?

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White bois BTFO this is OUR sport now

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Derrick Lewis vs. Junior dos Santos
Elizeu Zaleski dos Santos vs. Curtis Millender
Tim Means vs. Niko Price
Blagoy Ivanov vs. Ben Rothwell
Beneil Dariush vs. Drew Dober
Tim Boetsch vs. Omari Akhmedov

can heem go six for six next week?

Literally exactly the same as Conor vs Khabib, right down to the neck crank and tap, without a bonus brawl.

Askren been training with Cm punk too long i think

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What chance does /ourguy/ Derrick Lewis have ?

He's the "can be bought with Dana's Jewish" gold standard.

I love Rose. I'd be lucky to ever end up with someone with a personality like her; damaged, quiet, playful. She's an angel.

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BREAKING: ALI ABDELAZIZ CAUGHT BRIBING TYRON TO THROW CHAMPIONSHIP FOR 2 MILLION DOLLARS

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As long as his balls are hot, a good chance Satan.

Lewis is always an underdog, that's why he's fun.

i guarantee he heems jds

I think I favour JDS on that one. Volkov avoided the heem for most of the match, so I guess JDS can avoid it, and not gas as hard as Lewis.

there's literally no good refs anymore they're all chokers

Apparantly the way forward is to be an overbearing control freak who starts fucking her when she's 15.

Shes a bald wigger who fights with retard PTSD rape strength

he will be losing until he wins like every fight

Then why didn't he stop Askren's fight when Lawler was beating the fuck out of him?

135 went from a two fighter division to wide fucking open

Lewis beat Ngannou
Ngannou beat Cain
Cain beat JDS

So obviously Lewis.

she killed the pole on /heem/

I'm on it!

has there ever been a more /ourguy/ than based johnny walker?

Extremely caz post

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if you see a croatian flag dropping nbombs to someone else than jbj and expressing his love for trannies its not me the black angel poster

Anyone who dislocates his shoulder mid-bellyflop is pretty fucking suspect to me.

[spoiler]Jones will duck Walker and fight reachlets till he retires. Dana will let him and will fuck Walker's career in the process. You heard it here first.[/spoiler]

LAWLER TAPPED

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Why is "Robbie Lawler" such a cool sounding name? Do americans always try to have such over the top cool names to compensate for small penises?

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I like this

Khabibs skull looks so thick

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What's this move called?

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If Robbie could land on him, Conor could put him out fast

I'm betting Askren has a pocket overhand-right, because every fucking wrestler seems to have one.

Ben's recovery time is as godly as his chin

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even when he was groggy after that slam he kept it together on his feet.

Americans change their names all the time, mainly when at war with their root nationality or to make in Hollywood. This trickles out into wider society until everyone is called Chad Mercedes Thunder or some shit.

The self heem

Conor is a counterpuncher, if he's leading he certainly won't have the power to even slow down Ben.

Zabit will never be champ because his cardio is shit

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*enters your system*

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The H.E.E.M (Heem everyone even myself)

Zabit has a weird pace, he often looks tired then pulls off magnificent shit.

He needs to stop trading punches at the end of round 3, though, he's going to get sparked.

I imagine as joanna and clawja start making out, chael and ben start kissing and stroking each other cocks as well

double lesbian/gay porn is so hot

i wonder why this genre is not more explored

The black standard

Bisexual porn is also very good if they dont kiss, thats gay.

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think about it

>robbie lawler
>coldy covington
>CHAD mendes
>MICKEY Gall
>randy couture

those sound are like they came from a comic book, cool but kind of over the top

>*enters your system*

Danaher >>>>>>>>>>>meme weed boi

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>Flushes your pay check
Based Herb

He is a pile of steaming shit

robbie thought he was going to send a message and finish ben in the 1st 30 seconds i'm glad he lost

guys I'm depressed I literally can't stop thinking about Tony Ferguson.

>cool name
>good head shape
>massive junk
He is lucky in every area of his life except fighting

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I mean he kinda did send a message

sorry bud youre looking for r/mma

"can you hear me now?"

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I got Deaned for the first time last night how do you guys even manage

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Despite the bad stop, I was shocked he didn't get instagib'd after that slam.

*drops you on your head*

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sure as shit wasn't getting out of that one.

Don't worry, it's a blessing in disguise. Max would have absolutely steamrolled him. He at least has a chance to win against Conor.

I don't see why people are upset about the Askren Lawler decision - it was clear Ben was going to completely dominate him from that point on.

r/mma is better than this shithole. Shame im perma banned for calling someone a fag on there

Robbie lost the battle, Ben won the war.

>goes limp momentarily
Is that the best you got Dana?

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you ever heard of war machine

>that line
i didn't hate him before this fight but i sure do now

perfect way for askren to win. making people even more mad. and speaking of mad does colby have running water inside usman's head?

worked

Regardless of your opinion on the stoppage, Ben deserves a seat at the table for the greatest welterweight of all time conversation.

Shhhh, he's taking a nap.
He'll give you a thumbs up when he wakes up.

Robbie won the story of the fight.

"Make my division you little pissant"

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"Is that the best you got Dana?" after taking a good solid beating and getting a retard call from Herb was the best thing ive ever seen. straight from WWEs playbook

And if it was stopped when Lawler slammed him people would have said the same thing

prayers for Stipe! when is GOATs red panty night coming?

>war machine

that is suitable name for a mexican on drugs, but american names are listed sound like they came out from an american macho comacho name generator

>robbie lawler
>coldy covington
>CHAD mendes
>MICKEY Gall
>randy couture
>tito ortiz

so funny and cool sounding at the same time

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Kamarudeen fears the superior white man

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>h-h-he was gonna get tired, I swear

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>Solid beating
>Lawler still couldn't finish you off when you're groggy after
LMAO lit, lit

Big Dimes Askren absolutely worked every seething mark in MMA last night

He fucked up by rehearsing that shit before the fight. I don't think he expected to be a blood waterfall while his hand was raised.

Ben winning has been an incredible salt mine.

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>Jon Jones
>Luke Rockhold
Damn I think you might actually be onto something

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Not nearly as entertaining as Colby turning up everywhere like a Scooby Doo monster.

"Is that the best you got Dana?"

thought it was pretty kino. Kind of like someone getting there ass beat and asking for one more punch to put them out

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Well, on the plus side I don't think Lawler ate a single significant strike in that entire fight, so he should be able to get back in the octagon soon

when keeping it kayfabe goes wrong

>they make so little money.
lol it's so funny when a minimum wage loser makes this comment.

>Jon Jones
>Reach: 84.5

maybe if the table is in... SINGAPORE

>ben with his hand raised, bleeding from every orifice
>robbie looking exactly the same as he did ten minutes ago
kek

Askren channeling Carlos Newton in the octagon last night was pure kino, should've just held it till Lawler's jaw broke.

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>I was j-just resting my eyes, ref, I swear

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jon will sleep

He should get that fucking limp arm looked at, though, it clearly doesn't know that he's ok.

His arm was tired. Give it a rest, man.

>h-he went limp!
I don't care, retard. Lawler took no damage, that means he'll be able to fight sooner.

If you don’t like askren you’re a goof

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how reddit of you

Danaher /heem/ squad, where are we at on the system? I'm currently working through the back attack system, I've noticed my back control has improved immensely. I see a lot of mistakes that other coaches wouldn't correct, I even see UFC guys doing something Danaher advises against and then usually paying for it.

I'm enjoying my gradual transition into The System. Once I've taken the last step, I'm eager to see where The System will bring me.

Danaher bless, lads.

>>Jon Jones
>>Luke Rockhold

Ben Rothwell
Roy Nelson
Dana White
Mike Perry

no way these are normal human names.
its almost as if a name is an introduction to the surname, name sounds like an announcer to the surname

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KEK saved

first fight and he's already a legend, that's a record that can't be beat

>gets demolished without landing a singke strike
>saved by the ref

>D... Dana... T..that all you got?

>Danaher /heem/ squad, where are we at on the system?

nowhere. how much for the videos?
have you mentioned that they are figuring something new out at Danaher's? what do you think it is?

how long until Gordy heelhooks the entire lhw division?

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Did Reddit rape your mother or something?

They all sound like pretty standard names.

boom roasted

did you watch the same fight I did?
Ive seen 12 year olds at the local gym with better jab cross combo lmao
He'd want to hope he gets Lawler again, any of the top 5 will possibly kill him

I need to work on my guard passing, hopefully big daddy Danaher and King Ryan can help me pummel legs like never before.

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>how long until Gordy heelhooks the entire lhw division?

depends on USADA and how much love he gets from Dana. That lanklet is juiced to his eyeballs as was Danaher.

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What does heem mean?
Everyone gives me meme answers

that's honestly a brag.... didnt even need to hit you and I won

Askrens ok outside the cage but hes a boring ass fighter. Cant wait till he has the most boring UD win in his next fight and you all turn on him. His gnp and striking are garbage but unfortunately no one at WW can expose those glaring flaws

I think Ben will take a long break, if we even see him in the octagon ever again.

He never took this amount of beating in his career and he looked shook as fuck. I don't think he wants to do this again. I expect some kind of """injury""" announcement soon.

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it's actually not true, gustaffson says his reach is 79 and jones is 2 inches bigger at best. ngannou and jones most likely have the same reach, so does walker. Walker is 6'6, jones is 6'4. Both monkey arms.

The hands are just diversions for takedowns lol he knows that even if he perfected his striking he'd still not be as good as most in his division. He just focuses on how to win fights

I think Struve just did that in his last win lol.

>What does heem mean?
>Everyone gives me meme answers

I asked as well and got meme answers.

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>refs call
2v1 lad

>saved by the ref

>gets smashed on his head, defends against Robbie even though he was completely stunned on his back
>gets back up, applies three different chokes in the remainder of the round
>makes him go limp
b-but he wasnt out!

who else does UFC have that's a better striker than Robbie ?
Ben will be alright. I don't think he's getting lifted overhead again

I don't think any of those are that good except Roy Nelson. Quinton Jackson is one of the top ten names of all time though.

Clearly not because I saw Ben beat a former champ without bothering with throwing any strike combos.

They're pricey for sure, but I'm selling plasma and driving in homeless guys to sell their plasma and splitting the cash with them. I should have my second step into The System paid for soon.

I'm not sure what the new development is, I've only heard whispers. I do know some guys that might know, but I'm not close enough to the inner circle to get in on many secrets. I'm close to some guys with distant connections, but I can't just ask Firas what's going on over there.

>most boring UD win
I used to watch Mark Kerr fights, Ben can do no wrong

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Yeah if these going watched any askren they'd understand that. He literally just wants to get close and once he has his hands around you, you're not getting out . He's not strikijg until it's full mount

lol askren didnt go limp you guys are such fags, he was trying to parry the shots the whole time. robbie is a can

I agree

Its a fear and loathing in las vegas inside joke

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>if he retires I won't have to hear about him any more
>I also won't be able to watch him get beat up
I'm torn

Steroids just make things interesting.

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Show me 3 top 15 fighters Askren can beat.

im saying robbie went limp, but yeah i didnt word that well

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>They're pricey for sure, but I'm selling plasma and driving in homeless guys to sell their plasma and splitting the cash with them. I should have my second step into The System paid for soon.

how much?

the size of that lad...

Askren can’t be beat.

my boy at 145 if Max's goes to 155....who else carries the torch with me

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robbie took over a year off just to get decimated by a ONE fighter. he's turning 37 this month too. Nick Diaz vs. Robbie Lawler 2 is the fight to make.

I dont believe you

Hobert is still my boy

i didnt read it too well either, so cheers

All of them.

weak win lad, Lawlers an old man now and still toyed with Askren until that shit finish (that pile drive after Askren tried 'controlling' him) lmao.
>Ill fight anyone anywhere!
Hey man, Lawler again
>b-b-b aaaaaahhhhhhh ummmmmm ahhhhh naaaaah
fuck brah if hes sleeping on Lawler he's going to hate the top 5 and after that shit debut it will be the ufc who decides his match ups, not him
Oh and the foundation he was wearing to cover his fucked up face was hilarious at the post presser, Robbie looked great

Maybe only Till
*flushing noises*

dont be dense, that division is top heavy just like every other division

I think it's obvious the Woodley fight was a work so he can focus on his rap career.

it just works

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Herb was the GOAT in that fight
hope Shitskren got him a beer after

correct

are the australians in /heem/ behind him?

Nick is done fighting apparently

bjpenn.com/mma-news/ufc/nick-diaz-shuts-down-comeback-talk-i-just-want-to-party/

Dana won the story of the fight.

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I hope Dana gives him an ultimatum - rematch Lawler or fuck off. Would be nice to see a definitive win instead of the bullshit we got last night

>Bellator cans
yeah bro, the greatest

We got a clear definite win last night. Lawler done onto the next.

Askren would unironically beat Rose IMO

duuuude! I had no idea Vitor was that big into juicing.

literally lol'd

Who's getting groped next? How salty will /heem be when his hand is raised yet again?

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>Loses because blood flow to the brain significantly slows down

>Duuuhhhj he looked good and the other guy looked beaten up so he won

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he was born into it, molded by it

every fighter that is not the champion in a weightclass is a can, and even some champions are cans. you're all marks

this is unironically the power of not cutting any weight ever

if you havent figured it out, and you probably have because you're smart, it will be 4 months of askren shitposting

based and harsh truthpilled

Based

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I love it

people interpret his more passive already have a point advantage mode as being gassed, he does not chase heems

It is the huezilian way

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i thought he was chael sonnen with a curly hair'd wig the first time i saw him

I have figured this out, I am smart :)

>they didn't know

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he cant strike. I mean literally cant throw a punch or kick.
Lawler is at the end of his career (past it tbqh) and made Askren look like shit. His big wrestling strength was nullified and the shock and confusion on his face after Lawler lifted him was his 'welcome to the ufc' moment.
A dubious stoppage, dividing experts and cazzies alike isn't a good win or a good debut, especially against a fighter who isnt even a gatekeeper anymore.
Askrens done and will probably hide away for 2 years desperately trying to learn some boxing or anything before his next top 10 ranked opponent changes his face and ends his Chael wannabe career

/heem/ I think you have the intelligence to figure this out.

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You Can Call Us Experts In The Custodial Arts, Cause We Cleaned Out The Entire Lightweight Division. It's All About Finness. Mcnuggets & Tiramisu, I Pray For You. - CSO

colby should go to nigeria and film himself handing out aid to children

I dont think you can say definitively that Askren can't strike, the fight only lasted like what 4 minutes and for 3 of them Ben was getting his shit pushed in

A-any mo-moment now he'll let gzzz...ZZZ...zzzz

>Lift a guy and drop him on his head
>Beat him up for a while
>Still end up getting choked and lose
LMAO. Looks like his wrestling worked out.

*aids

>he cant strike
he doesn't need to

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He can literally strike and he does it when he has his opponent in his control on the ground. Many fighters have been defeated after getting their face smashed in by Ben "Funky" Askren.

Holy shit, Askren has literally broken some people's brains

your the retard akshually

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the fight didnt last long enough to strike
the guy is a wrestler you fucking nimrod
literally got head slammed and still defended himself and choked out his opponent 3 times two minutes later
the stoppage doesn't have anything to do with Askren, but Lawler already played his best cards and couldnt even finish a guy on his back stunned

watch it again. watch him try throw down
lol
>first win is a controversial stoppage after getting his face smashed in
truly the goat
>he doesn't need to
he will ;)

Agreed my man, it was fookin wholesome too

Why strike when you are literally unheemable

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Yeah some of those guys in ONE were real cans. Sad that he gave some fighters life-altering brain damage.

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good looking guy, wish he'd do porn

Isn’t that what’s called ”soon to be single mom” - pregnancy?

>didnt last long enough to strike
>Askren got his shit pushed in with strikes
huh, wouldnt call that a choke, first choke Ive ever seen a guy stand straight up from and ask the ref wtf?
the absolute blind devotion to a meme is astounding. he looked like shit and the 'finish' was akin to a schoolyard headlock haha

*makes Albanians seethe

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truly godlike

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>Olympic wrestler
>brutally slammed on his head in the opening seconds of his first UFC fight

Wrestling purists have long suspected 'funk style' of being a meme, and after last night's "performance" I'm inclined to agree with them.

/hoc/ could heem anyone

Yeah, Conor wasn't choked either huh...

if only the hapa had learned how to get out of the schoolyard headlock

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>i'll take down the wrestler

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Askren fanboys getting btfo
Shall return for Askren (you)'s later today
dudes shit
/worstdebutever/

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imagine being submitted and going limp to a schoolyard headlock

You got owned you hapa bitch

The ref and every commentator thought he was out. I suspect he was out but snapped back.

The fucking idiot could at least have given Herb a thumbs up, if he wasn't out he still deserves the loss.

i wish you guys would stop insulting either Askren or Lawler when trying to make a point for one or the other
they are both good fighters, don't be disrespectful.

1-0 in the UFC with 0 strikes

u ok

This is the body Joe Rogan will never speak about

If Tyron would have won, he wouldn't have lost.

He has a unit on him too.

FUNCTIONAL
STRENGTH

based (you)'s
funky af

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You need to go back and watch it again my guy

He's not shit, but he's probably never going to be in a title fight.

Askren's destiny is to be a gatekeeper who tests whether or not a young prospect can handle a wrestler.

Askren put a more exiting fight than khabib in his last 3 fights

I can understand why Askren isn't really too keen on a rematch. He just beat a Top 5 guy in the division, and doesn't stand to gain a whole lot by rematching him. It was a shit call and Robbie most definitely got shafted, but that isn't Askren's cross to bear. MMA isn't an easy sport to "run it back", as the kids say. The time and possible injury toll that a rematch with a guy you've already defeated could pose doesn't seem like that sensible of a decision, in most cases. Most guys only fight 3, maybe 4 times a year, max, so I could see Askren's reluctance. What if he loses the rematch, or blows his ACL and gets put on the shelf for 6 months or a year? He just beat a name guy in a competitive division that he may have just cracked the top-5 in. He beats perhaps the winner of Till/Masvidal in a few months, he's potentially in the title shot mix.
MMA is an unfair bitch. Askren realizes that its every man for himself and that there is no time for "run backs". The only direction to go is up, and it's a hollow, silly endeavor to rematch Lawler just to show everyone how "tough" he is. He showed me how tough he was when he weathered a beatdown from Robbie and still came back to win.
If you want to hate on anyone, don't be mad at Askren for doing his job, be mad at Herb Dean for the blown call.

I think Julius Benus will fight soon, if we don't see him in the octagon next week.

He never takes any amount of beating in his career and he looked magnificent as fuck. I think he'll do this again. I expect some kind of """Hey Dana, is that really the best you got?""" announcement soon.

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They're both shit, so it doesn't matter either way.

we're taking over again

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It is hilarious to see him constantly throw his carcass on the other dude so clumsily to be honest

>voted for ron paul
no wonder zane simon was fucking fuming

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"The System" and Danaher posting make me kek so hard

Lawler pretended to be out. It was a good and fair stoppage.

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based funkyposters

Based, there's levels to this game

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>Who else does UFC have that's a better striker than Robbie
Really?
>Till (inb4 durr le toilet Till xDD)
>Wonderboy
>Ponzinibbio
>RDA
>Masvidal

Lawler tapped

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does anyone ever say lurk more?
is this is a thing anymore?
>inb4 lurk more

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buttflustered askren hater looking for (you)'s here.
Intelligent and well thought out post, youve changed my mind and you're absolutely correct

More like Ben Trashcan.

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with so many good fights yesterday why are you faggots talking about this fucking pubehead?

looks like we're in the age of the wrestle against the cage to win by not really doing anything era

he's moving the meter, working the marks

RDA got smothered for 5 rounds by Colby "a bigger man than you are" Covignton. Funky Ben gets suplexed and boston crabs that little boi,

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forgot your cane robert

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Remember when Ricky Simon was handed a win a win over Dvalishvili because he "went limp" at the end of round 3 after resisting in a guillotine for 50 seconds? I'm still asshurt about it. Lawler v Askren is a continuation of that.

How does Colby fare against Kamarudeen "Black Panther" Usman?

Because that fight literally killed the arena. The crowd was dead after that. And then the next two fights were Lynchian snuff films.

Askren-Lawler was one of the greatest spectacles I've seen live. And I say that as someone that has been watching MMA for over 8 months.

>Askren-Lawler was one of the greatest spectacles I've seen live. And I say that as someone that has been watching MMA for over 8 months.

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Mike Beltran the moustache man

yes

in all seriousness, Asskren v Maia is the fight to make, right?

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peruse the taiwanese wicker basket chat room forum more

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who reffed that? was it Goddard?

Colby is the cardio king and a better wrestler than snoozeman

Lawler couldn't do anything with his strikes. His moment came from a rare kind of landing from the slam. Slam specialists are the only threat to Askren.

He gets beat up because he's too small and physically weak to compete.

Lawler's striking that wasn't the only problem, it was also his aggression, athleticism, and takedown defense.

it's funny that the guy everyone was making fun of is now the WW champ

yes but i dont remember if goddard actually made the call, it was a fucking mess.

He looks like a literal ancient emperor. It's like he crawled out of a classical painting. I was a doubter, but I'm all in with Ben Askren now.

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yea Colby is great

no you retard
why do you hate maia

Probably gets BLACKED, although I'd like to see him pull off the upset. Dana, Usman, Woodley, and Reddit would all be perma-seething.

will Kamaru ever be a superstar / draw?

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i guess he really was only at 30% before :))))))))))))

What does Ben have for Maia? Worse grappling besides takedowns. Maia would probably tap him.

Liam Kerrigan. Goddard was also a ref on the card and he rushed the octagon ready to murder someone when the commission overturned the decision.

No.

all the champions are cans because they only ever beat cans. nobody has ever had an impressive performance in mma

Did anyone unironically think Usman was gonna win? Seemed like a pretty big upset

shouldn't have wrote inb4
i might as well peruse a bit tad more

Maia subs the pubehead in the 1st

obviously not, but I can see him defending for quite some times

Based Randleman finna come out of retirement.

Does anyone have this photo but you can see khabibs face too?

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how about we don't give Maia another wrestler? Woodley,Colby,Usman, all went shit. Screw that

Maia has far better striking than Asskren and a nasty bottom game. i don't see your problem here?

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heeminder

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Based

yeah it was a shitshow, probably worst call I've seen

HE'S A PROBLEM
Maia does not do well against wrestlers. Don't be silly.

Herb always looks amused when some horrendous shit is going down, even when he's the one causing it.

high level striking

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There was a case to be made but his only decent wins were an old Maia and an absolutely flushed LW in Dos Anjos

Kamaru Usman is a PROBLEM in that Welterweight division

that's right, Goddard was right again

Askren won me over with that fight

That's not true and you know it.

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You are not alone bro, we /askren/ now

it was, it's even funnier because nobody even gave him credit for nothing
>le only beat Colby's sloppy seconds man
>he was only on 30%!!!!! haha
>Marty from Nebraska XDDDD

he doesn't do well against wrestlers who have better striking than him
Asskren has the worst striking in the UFC. K-1 Maia destroys him standing
none of the wrestlers Maia has faced have actually wrestled him, retard. they've just used wrestling to stop getting taken down
If Asskren initiates the grappling, there's a good chance he gets subbed

Attached: Asskren Exposed.webm (960x540, 2.95M)

same. I was on the fence with the hype surrounding him but after he ate all robbie could give him and finished him inside of 1 I knew he was the real deal and the hype was warranted.

No one was expecting TWood to just sit there and take an ass pounding like he did.

Cormier is a cuck

>Leave Usman to me.

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>when dana "demands" a robert rematch

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I like how you post that webm as if it does anything to discredit Askren's striking. A fight is a dance

this tbqh

Maia beat colby on the feet before he gassed

>they've just used wrestling to stop getting taken down
which is Maia's bread and butter. He can't get the takedown and he struggles. As for Colby and Usman not wrestling Maia, think you need to watch the fights again. They were a bit dull but you shouldn't have forgotten the events

your great grandparents were slaves

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Zane Simon literally just said that arm was irrelevant...that the arm had nothing to do with defending the choke. Either Zane or DC is wrong.

>Ya gonna buy my paper view whiteboy?

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lmfao this faggot took a fucking beating, nice way to "win" a fight

you seriously think Askren has better striking than Maia?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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i didn't post it for that purpose
it's a semi-related webm just because i don't like Asskren
i just usually post webms because it gives people something to look at. this is an imageboard.

that's not my point, you dull cunt
my point is that Maia would beat Asskren in striking - Maia could leave it striking if he so chooses. Maia doesn't need to take Asskren down to beat him.
if Asskren wants to start grappling, there's a good chance he gets subbed

good posts

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Lawler went out like the strip club owner where Bravo worked

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yeah you're dumb cba though

ah OK, you are wrong

he's unbeaten AND he works heem into a seething seethe without even trying? sign me up

Didn't circunov make some crazy negotiations with UFC refusing to fight and causing drama only to get heem'd over and over

nah

I really don't give a shit about Askren but honestly I don't see a way in which he can get beat. I'm stumped on this one.

so you think Asskren beats Maia in the grappling or the striking? which one is it, genius?

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Clean fighters working toward a title shot:

Ben Askren
Colby Covington

Roiders working toward a title shot:

Johnny Walker
Paulo Costa

but Askren won in the first round?

> i was pretending my arm was limp

Nigga just don't flop your arm on the canvas like a retard

and this is exactly the reason why roids should be legal

Kek.

>I was waiting for him to let go

Oh for sure, Robbie, that's worthy of an asterisk 100%. You're on the right side of history.

>boring wrestlefucker
>boring wrestlefucker

>highly exciting striker/finisher
>highly exciting striker/finisher

man i fricking love the USADA era!

Attached: Our guy does it again vs Cirkunov.webm (960x540, 2.94M)

grappling, of course. GnP TKO round 1.

it would be cathartic as fuck if a guy named after a whiskey brand would be the one to finally ko Jones

everybody knows Johnny Walker is the natty GOAT

Jonny fears Johnny

PARADO NO BAILÃO

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Yes.

Bones will duck Walker, he wants a clear reach advantage.

Askren would be in serious danger going to the ground with Maia, ADCC gold medalist.

>taking shit about JW
>>>r/mma

it's the spammer just report and move on

Askren is the only natty top 10 fighter in any division in the UFC (except maybe some of the women's division since those are empty.)

Based hue informing newfag casuals.

Seems like his mma BJJ is mostly top control orientated. Only time I've seen him in extended periods on his back in MMA was against Shields and he didn't look some like guard wizard there.

>subs a former world champion who wasn't even gassed effortlessly 1 and a half minutes after getting rocked in 1st round that most people wouldn't survive
>meanwhile it took Kaskweeb almost 5 rounds to finally sub a completely gassed out 2 time world champion
I keep telling you kids, Askren's the one to end the khabib and Sambo meme but cazzies won't listen.

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Who is confirmed natty?

Askren
Colby
Ryan Hall

Who else?

Based Cormier. I fucking hate these whiny redditors crying about the result
Who the fuck is Zane Simonor whatever?

Is folk wrestling the final MMA meta?

>gladiator tattoo on his stomach

Cringed a little

Junior "Baby" Albini

Jake Shields would tap Ben Askren in a grappling match, he's a legit phenom and has beat world champions before. Askren isn't on that level.

Don't forget the colosseum on his bicep

He's just steaming that his national heroes are roiders

It be more cringe if he literally wasn't a professional fighter. At least he has some justification to it.

says the guy with a name tag on Yea Forums

probably the only tattoo ever that i actually don't mind that much

Why the UFC doesn't have an Female Openweight division for 150-200 pounds? That would be very fucking stacked for female heavyweight especially it would give Dern an opportunity not to worry about weight cutting after her pregnancy.

I heard Invicta is interesting on pushing an Heavyweight female division this year for Phoenix Rising Series tournaments.

There are people on this board RIGHT NOW that are unironically okay with the Askren stoppage

youtube.com/watch?v=8JkI05f-GMA

Bro you need to be a warrior THAT MINDSET WINS BELTS

the only people who hate ben askren are socialists

how is he in the UFC? nice trips btw

lmao Ali, Kamaru's manager swung on Colby

nigga got punk'd again, kinda stupid because it's in a hotel lobby

>COME ON BOBBY! SAY “IM BOBBY LAWLER AND I LIKE EATING FARTS” OR IM GONNA GIVE YOU ANOTHER NOUGIE FOR TWENTY SECONDS

>ITS ROBBIE!!! LET ME GO BEN!!!

>WRONG ANSWER, BOBBY! NOW YOU GET AN INDIAN BURN TOO!!

>COME ON ITS NOT FAIR BEN!!

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tmz.com/2019/03/03/kamaru-usman-colby-covington-face-off-square-up-fight-vegas-casino-ufc-235/

*********** cant control their emotions what a surprise

why is that terrorist allowed in the USA?

Big Country

somebody needs to absolute body Ali the cocksucker. That cunt is everywhere.

really don't understand why he'd do it desu, Colby's barely said shit about him, will get him into bother with the UFC too
Just seems a bit retarded, he's not gone this far before

>There are women and children waiting in line here!

>Ali rushes through them to try and hit Colby

Lol cant wait until that martian headed terrorist fuck gets nipped to Guantanamo

>People think Robbie could have escaped this

you think they think like you think. they don't.

who you got Colby vs Usman?

Colby Heems Marty then gets Trump to Yeet him back to Niger

what a peaceful african man

What the hell is Ali doing throwing strikes at a fighter this dude needs a beating bad

youtube.com/watch?v=JkYXhO6EL9s

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colby won the story of the fight.

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kek this tbqh

Rondabedded
youtu.be/T8XfmVE7VNw
youtu.be/T8XfmVE7VNw
youtu.be/T8XfmVE7VNw
You can tell she misses Schaub

What's up him, heard you were talking shit?

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i LITERALLY don't understand how that raghead snitch hasn't been murdered yet

Woodley looks like he's about to burst into tears lmao

UFC should open a women's HW division and host some freakshow fights. That's the kind of thing people want to see. Get Gabi Garcia to headline a card and it will get a million buys.

hes a shithead but he looks like he's about to break down, feel kinda bad for him desu

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I cant believe a keen survived that

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Ali is the biggest piece of shit.

Askren*

Who else but a true GOAT could survive that?

It kinda saddens we will never see an WMMA Pride event like Rizin. Well at least it got the attention when Bellator and Invicta are interested. Gabi Garcia just sucks if Dern gets kicked out of the UFC then Bellator will make her the landscape of the whole female heavyweight division.

Funny. The fight might have been called then and there with the way his head bobbled if TJ Dillashaw hadn't been such a crying pussy after his loss.

Marty is such a deadbeat father and shitty champion. I hope Colby, Askren or Maia murder this fuck since the division is wide open.

> three animals try to attack Colby
> haha he didn't start swinging 3vs1 in the middle of a casino...wimp!
Shitskins need to be driven back to Mordor.

Could it have been a fix? I know Woodley's just a man and it's possible for him to lose but he was catatonic after the first time Usman got him up against the cage, like he didn't want to be fighting.

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>Based Randleman finna come out of retirement.
>Randleman
but user....

>deadbeat father
He literally brought his daughter and their pet gorilla to the show.

What's more funny is that Ali snatched Marty's daughter because she wanted to be close to him while awarded the title. If I was with Ali I would have kicked the shit out him terrible for still being an deadbeat father.

Askren is that guy that would bully you in Highschool but get away with it because he had good grades.

>I'm the better fighter

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>I hope Colby, Askren or Maia murder this fuck since the division is wide open.
>thinking any of those guys are gonna be the next champ
TITLE. BELT. BABY.

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Fuck no

he performed just as shit as i thought he would, ez money, can't believe cunts in this very general thought he had a chance, full dumb cunts

B A S E D
A
S
E
D

I thought Usman would be more dominant and secure multiple takedowns per round

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I don't know what to call it but it looks like some user quantum leaped into T-Wood right before the bell rung and had no idea what MMA even was

It all makes sense why cazzies and r/mma r*dditors here hate him then

>Woodley got Get Outted

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Some of you jokers would have me believe that Askren wouldn’t beat Cody Garbrant in R1. Think I’m stupid /heem/?

Lawler said he could have picked him up and slammed him from this position but he was letting Askren burn his arms out

Lads, Ben Askren is a time traveler and was giving Cleopatra the dick 2000 years ago.

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>I know Jon Jones just picked apart an upjumped journeyman middleweight who we spent months trying to convince you was somehow a threat to him
>But he's never fought anyone like Thiago Santos

>gonna pick him up
>burn his arms out
>slam him again
Things that were never going to happen

Can we just feed Jones to Walker and be done with it?

THIAGO SANTOS IS FOR SURE THE FIGHT

he actually hasn't though, closest would probably be rampage right?

dont mistake this as for me saying santos has a chance, but it would be new

more system posting now

>Askren didn't deserve to win

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oh no what if a fighter loses a fight

>Olympic wrestler
>burning is arms out

For sure Robbie was just resting his eyes for a second.

Why did he go limp?

Damn, so Jon is going to put a beating on another middleweight

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>wrestler sticks up for wrestler buddy
oh wow never seen cormier do this before, truly objective.

>Hello, Joseph Rogan! Is that your real name? Joseph Rogan?

I've gotta say Jones finally won me over as a fan with that one.

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Two arms? Both irrelevant? And he's not doing anything whatsoever? Don't we stop fights in this sport when fighters stop intelligently defending himself?

Either he was brazil-tapping (going limp so that Askren would let go) and deserves the stoppage, or he went out, and deserves the stoppage. Either way the call was reasonable

retweeting your "supporters" is a cuck move to be desu

he was bored, cos that fight was easy
absolute bobbery, 2bq onest

he was going to go out, so he pretended to be out so that the ref would stop the fight before he actually went out, allowing him to make make a scene once the fight was stopped and excuse his loss.

It's the new meta.

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I know right? It was so wholesome, I got chills.

Santos is definitely more dangerous that Smith

Did Jon rehearse that?

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i doubt Marreta would lose like a little baby tho, Jones would obviously win but i don't see him trying literally nothing like Smith just did

>It was so wholesome, I got chills.
this is the most gay shit ive ever read

Imagine thinking that herb made the wrong call. Absolute IQlet

Easily. Santos will beat Jones because he won't play the distance striking game with him. You'll see. You'll all see.

He's better than zafag or oroidga for sure.
Best prospect/contender in the division

He was trying to trick Askren. Askren would have thought he was out and let go in an early celebration.

In many ways Smith won the distance game and also Rounds 2 and 4.

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Sorry I meant 1 and 4.

Seething mad

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Askren is literally the Roman Catholic gladiator to save the west from the Muslim

You're sorry? You don't know the meaning of sorry.
I'll make you say sorry and fucking mean it, punk
Give me your address and social security number and I'll come over

The fact that you wrote that up and put a cape shit image is so fucking gay nigga,

YIKES

Also whats next for this lucky charms looking ass nigga

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>Colby - Usman
>Askren - Till
>Brock - DC
All I want for 2019 lads

You don't want to see Jon Jones take on Thiago Santos?

Attached: koksal dana.jpg (640x577, 58K)

not really.

I want Jones to either move up or take a boxing match with Deontay Wilder, he's solved LHW, there's nothing there for him

>Tyrone vs ????

there really isnt a fight I like

Why aren't there any good black wmma fighters?

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This is unironically a good question

they cant wrestle

source?

bros she's actually pregnant

I think all 3 of those are very likely. Askren - Till might not happen though

Career ending pregnancy

what an unrealistic standard of beauty

MMA is a high IQ sport. It's chess and then MMA.

You forget about the Belizean Bruiser?

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AYO sauuuucce

looks hu-white to me desu

>first african champ
>chimps out in under 24 hours

i want to have a mulatto child with her

jones should be banned for life fucking cheating bitch. the fact that he made 500k for beating steroid bans, beating illegal strikes is a fucking joke

Its refreshing to see a champ be a traditonal Champ and not just copy Conor like everyone tries to do now. Even Ortega when hes trying to sound cool said "its like conor said -----"

Ronda could come back and be top 5

Raquel Pennington
Cat Zingano
Marion Reneau
Aspen Ladd
Sara McMann
Yana Kunitskaya
Irene Aldana
Bethe Correia
Tonya Evinger
Lina Lansberg
Talita Bernardo
Mayra Bueno Silva

i actually don't want to see Jones lose, he seems like a nice guy now.

I agree, she just ran into Holly (bad style matchup) and Nunes (even worse)

>look, i made some mistakes in the past
youtube.com/watch?v=u9p877BdxBI

Every post in this thread was done by me btw

Including this one, haha. All me.

>implying it matters
>WMMA

will yoel ever get the belt?

If Adymemeya somehow wins a decision against Fatslum and Bobby just vacates then yes, Yoel would murk izzy in a title fight.

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no

Azis & Usman VS Colbi.
youtu.be/JkYXhO6EL9s

Look at all those first round Finishes, This guy's gonna have the belt by the end on 2020 and beat GSP as the goat WW

FUCK WRESTLERS AND FUCK ASKREN

>his official reach is wrong just cause I said
and being taller is not an advantage

strikers HATE him!

how did he duck Luis Santos rematch

Lawler win should be overturned.

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so we all agree Ben Canskren is a steaming pile of shit who's gonna get destroyed in his next fight, correct?

Luis Santos ducked him. Santos missed weight by almost 20 pounds for the rematch and Askren said he would still fight him but Santos refused

For real though? Lawler, RDA, Masvidal, Till, Luque,

Santos missed weight for the rematch

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you wish, hapa bitch

let the bong have the next one

sauce irmao?

tone down the hostile autism you socially retarded chimp

lmfao Colby is a bitch.

youtube.com/watch?v=JkYXhO6EL9s

> stop being mean to me
no, you hapa bitch.

Nah. Because it'll prove that at any given time there are only 5 decent wmma fighter and after that it's a fucking giant drop off in talent. Publicly admitting that wmma is garbage. I don't think even Ronda (or Dana) is dumb enough to do that.

Jesus, she's already wearing those disgusting fat women's bikini. She's gonna be like at least 100kg from now on.

Unironically Askren went from one of the most boring fighters in MMA to one of the most exciting fighters in MMA with his jump to the UFC.

Now we’re going to see him panic wrestle every single opponent while getting punched in the face.

Lowkey sounds pretty kino.

> he didn't swing against 3v1! what a bitch
you're a bitch and an aids ridden faggot, you tranny cunt.

I couldn't care less about you trying to be mean you smelly sperg, you're like a rabbit with teeth. it's just embarrassing

he's capable of restraining himself unlike those *************

>starts a fight in a line with children
lol

> I couldn't care less, which is why I asked you to "tone it down"
Hapa elliot rodger fucking loser bitch.

it was clearly Ali who started shit

wasn't asking you skinnyfat dweeb

>and being taller is not an advantage
retard

new thread

That's barneyfag, right?

No weave pulling allowed

Ronda had a conman for a coach and was focusing on """boxing""", she was always going to get slaughtered.

This desu

kek

is Ali the most influential manager in the UFC?

but isn't Colby a big pussy outside the cage? So many fighters are calling him out on that, Smith recently, and before that he filed a lawsuit against somebody who called him out? don't remember who it was

lel i got money out of that fight because of them both