/heem/

Here's the goof pic for whoever's goofing the picks

Attached: goof.png (369x430, 103K)

Based natty Piana, also the personal trainer for based Paulo

Cowboy/Conor was so much better

I dun goof'd

If My Post Ends In 55 Jon Jones Loses

Favorite female fighter?

If my post ends in anything other than 666 Smith loses

thank god we got that out of the way

888 get

Joanna

Here everyone enjoys men

If my post ends in 4 Smif heems the roiding negro in the 5th

/our boy/ Good Guy Greg Hardy

dubs and Smith doesn't get out of the first minute

>bulge area

Attached: C5CqN8rWMAAxEWf.jpg (675x1200, 114K)

no way Diegos glass chin survives

If my post ends in 00 Smith wins via DQ due to picopokes

This is the people’s main event. Pick your side NOW.

Attached: ECB13125-2B59-4A71-910A-3681FC4B8A14.png (1490x1027, 1.17M)

lawler via armbar in the 2nd i predict deez tings

I don’t think you understand causality.

You posts wont affect the fight in anyway.

casual

This and Zabit VS Stephens could be FOTY contenders

is this the most one sided card with decent fighters out there? 3 out of 4 main event fights are heavily favoured.(wmma doesnt count)

Sorry to say, but for me? It's just gotta be Askren.

If my post ends in anything except zero this guy is a fag

The fucking chin on Askren

based

Hate Everything Even Memes

So when Askren gets slept will they immediately cut him and then fire Joe Rogan for shilling him so hard?

I just stopped coming here and Yea Forums in general for awhile because I've been busy.

You’re just proving my point.

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Attached: BEST LOOKING MAN ON EARTH.jpg (1874x1054, 649K)

Imagine actually picking Smif over Jones

God, I am so glad I bet on Lawler.

>/heem/ men tell no lies

I hope the main event is all wrestlefuck decisions, Dana is gonna seethe at the post-fight conference again.

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Attached: DEREK SCHOTT IS GOD.jpg (1200x846, 318K)

smif vs jones is a closer fight than Canbeeb vs Canor.

>Lawler's tits
>Askren's chin
dunno who to go with

Attached: 1551160451991.webm (640x640, 333K)

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Imagine not believing in Smiff and picking Jon

If my post ends in any number from 1-10 Smif will get murdered in the octagon

Cody is a humble guy who deserves to win tonight.

LOL

dubs and smif wins

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Attached: DEREK SCHOTT IS GOD.jpg (1080x1350, 159K)

Can spamy STOP posting this girl

i think you mean crumble guy

Would Cormier neck himself if Smith won tonight?

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Attached: DEREK SCHOTT IS GOD.jpg (1080x1080, 116K)

If my post ends in 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8 or 9
Jones wins

Has anyone seen or heard Shaub's calmedy? I can only imagine it's pure buffoonery.

This could be interpreted as disrespectful. Please delete and rephrase this post.

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Attached: FOR ME ITS DEREK SCHOTT.jpg (1874x1054, 303K)

Jones looked like dogshit vs Gus and got pushed back hard by pressure and was gassing hard. while smif should be taken down and beaten easily by jones, he does have the ability to forward pressure and outlast like he did vs vol-can. Canor had nothing in his overhyped tool set to deal with canbeeb and had only a lucky shot as his way to win.

Oh ok. It's a damn shame that you can only find out about the fights here.
Casual

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Attached: IN SOVIET RUSSIA CAR DRIVE YOU.jpg (956x1440, 375K)

Canny No Love has a significant probability of becoming trans-lawn furniture. (but I did pick him to win slightly)

>Jones looked like dogshit vs Gus and got pushed back hard by pressure and was gassing hard
Uh no? He looked fine and was allowing Gus to forward pressure so he could counter which he did effectively. He didn't seem that gassed either.

Did Cody's wife let him have sex this time? My parlay depends on this information

Attached: tostupid.jpg (170x175, 13K)

do you think scatty realises how easily his posts are swept aside and hidden, like an annoying little bug that lands on your shoulder. his life's work, his pride and joy, all invalidated with a single click of the mouse. he is not and has never annoyed anyone by doing this, his posts are merely a glimpse into a highly damaged, schizophrenic mind

anyway lawler heems askren

>Yeah lot of people don't understand but being a comedian is a lot like being a fighter. It's about always working on your material, writing, doing sets always refining your act. Guys ask me all the time how come brendan got a comedy special just 2 years after starting. It's cause he's actually working you lazy fucks! He's not procrastinating writing to watch netflix, he's writing material, doing sets at the store. Constantly. Cause brendan brings that fighter mentality to comedy and that's why he's successful.

and canor was letting canbeeb gas himself out by letting himself get punched in the face. you should re-watch that.

Someone redpill me on the Derek Schott meme.

Mai Shiranui

Second

baste

I'll baste your dick with my saliva

uh oh lads feeling tired. need based croat bro to post some ebony bundas

he fucking renames every image he spams between sperg outs lmao

haha dude YIKES

Attached: schitter.png (582x171, 19K)

not gonna make it

Could he be more /our guy/?
youtu.be/97vmoVJCdwg

Gus barely even touched Jones while Jones kicked the life out of him.

Who is you're favourite female fighter? no trolling allowed.

imagine being this guy. just imagine.

Attached: schitter2.png (640x426, 43K)

HEEMING WITH THE BOOOYYS

What the fuck is there to do until fights?
Do you guys have a constant awareness of the sounds around you and an awareness of your sense of touch always?

How many bongs

>heavily balding loser vs the guy with the thickest hair in all of MMA
Bet the house on Askren.

I'll sleep till 9:30 pm ET, do I miss Zabit?

Attached: Chechneya650 (1).jpg (650x426, 112K)

theres a real stream of consciousness thing going on here

Post a more iconic moment.
youtu.be/sNa8W-PlMvY

watch the aaf

youtube.com/watch?v=KUMBdnkLjiQ

I prowl the neighbourhood looking for 'Black Bastards' to sort out.

HEEM WITH THE BOYS

youtu.be/OkLhqVzWJdA
This is serious.

When you walk in the club and see a group of certified FAT ASS females

Attached: scopingopponent.webm (1280x720, 1.52M)

youtube.com/watch?v=fkhHcCNe97M

That’s probably right around when he starts

Take a nap. Remember to use any WMMA fights as free mid-event cat naps.

hahaha what the fuck is this hahahahaha

Eat sum dick LMAO dork

A S K R E N C A N N O T L O S E

Attached: Screen Shot 2019-03-02 at 9.50.08 AM.png (520x533, 173K)

What a retarded autistic faggot

Sapo was kicking his ass lmao

Uh picks anybody?

Askren

Salsa Boss?

fersure a past his prime lawler, who couldn't finish a JUSTED conduit over 5 rounds, will heem askren in the first

Attached: 1535251248086.png (407x408, 395K)

You talmbout that higher state if consciousness? For sure my guy try remote viewing, it's a beast. It'll open up your mind to your true spiritual potential one hunnert percent.

>abhorrent post

>mandrama
yep

Conduit is unfinishable if its not SUB. and lawler has munster subscribe for sure

Attached: millionairecomedian.jpg (601x626, 34K)

Submissions*
Fuck auto correct, jannies, skypes and googles

FUCK ASKREN
WRESTLING IS FOR FAGS

>jones won the fight, therefor your assessment is wrong
I may be autistic but you're a goddamn retard.

He looks like my elementary school bully who tried stealing my pokemon cards and gf but then got some heart disease or some shit in middle school and died

who wins, Lawler's Brow Ridge or Askren's Chin?

This

lawler, and if you picked askren i would heem you stiff

What the fuck elementary school were you going to?

>robbie, i swear to god if you don't kill this greasy haired fuck i'll do it my goddamn self

Yea Forums sides with Lawler.
Reddit sides with le dadbod can crusher.

upvote this if you wish you were dead

POST YOUR WALKOUT SONG

youtube.com/watch?v=yoYZf-lBF_U

Attached: s h o o k.jpg (1280x720, 57K)

upvoted

bens gonna wrestle fuck him for 3 rounds for decsion win, then again whenever i pull for a guy they always lose so lawler will probably heem him

average american
at least he gets paid though
i think VOX mods are expanding their services onto other platforms too, it was in the news a few weeks back

Your assessment is wrong though, and all I've done is demonstrate that by pointing out that Jones was having success throughout the fight with effective counters and did not look bad. I don't know how you managed to get your greentext summary from what I said.

youtube.com/watch?v=QzcvRDWgRIE

come to jackson liberty high school in new jersey on monday morning and i'll take care of that for you

zabeast going to dismantle lil manlet tonight check em

You’re assesment is wrong because it’s retarded and wrong

sounds like he left humanity behind

youtube.com/watch?v=oohFGOmcxuo

>best win is a flushed nip lightweight
oh yeah bro, askren is a BEAST

POOUSMAN bout to get FLUSHED by BASED TDOG

cringe

I hope its a quick flushening

you're not allowed to post after jeremy gets heemed tonight ok?

>jackson liberty high school

pay for my plane ticket and i'll be there

Let's be real here if we can for a second. For me, it's Susan Schofield Cabana.

checked breh

>reaction image of ronda
>mandrama

i wish 234ers would fuck off

HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEM

ME

INSIDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

by transitive property of dubs this counts you gomer marks

>ben askren
mma-core.com/videos/Luis_Santos_vs_Ben_Askren_Full_Fight_One_Championship_26_Part_1/10101076

Attached: 1549219480189.jpg (1280x720, 61K)

HEEM ME UP
HEEM ME UP INSIDE
(CANT HEEM UP)

sanchez/stephens manlet redemption parlay

zabit gets exposed tonight
screenshot ths

>people think this can will beat Lawler

Crop Cop faking a stroke to duck the rematch.

Attached: schaub.gif (600x662, 657K)

>already sleepy
>fights haven't even started

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going to skip the early prelims and you literally can't stop me

what you gonna do about it huh?

For me it's lordosis

Attached: maxresdefault.jpg (1280x720, 80K)

sleep well friend. come back for the actual prelims

you wanna talk some shit huh?
(you) me lets talks some shit bitch

Attached: f.jpg (1080x1080, 116K)

go to sleep until the main card starts you dumb fuck

funny post

This is the One Punch KO Power Parlay

Attached: Screen Shot 2019-03-01 at 4.23.06 PM.png (640x616, 48K)

Jeremy is a trashy little faggot perennial can. He's going to get so fucking exposed tonight. I'm not a Zabit fan and I don't think he's some unstoppable force, Jeremy is just gross

I know that feel, I don't think I have ever been correct with any of my predictions, such is life

you're literally blind b

going to sleep soon boys
Probably wont see the fights live

>Diego
OH NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

thoughts and prayers

cringe

Is there a countdown or any longer content I can put on to kill time before the early prelims? I haven't really figured out how to navigate espn+ and I dont see anything on fightpass

i want to watch her fight

Attached: 1533433956320.jpg (989x710, 74K)

You should've power napped earlier

Thanks
What you gonna do? You don't know shit, I bet you're going to watch the early prelims lmao. What you looking forward to there? Does ANYONE actually wanna see ANY fights on there?

going to nap
hoping to god i wake up before prelim finals

you would avert eye contact with me in real life.

>Lawler
OH NO NO NO NO NO NO

when cain got heem'd it really put into perspective how many times i get my predictions wrong

on ufc's youtube, there's an inside the octagon as well and even Embedded

Attached: b.jpg (598x574, 133K)

And you're just proving that it in fact; is possible to drink 100 liters of cum in a single sitting.

shit sorry bruv as soon as i solved captcha and sent that i was halfway to my dreamland id probably go to sleep
heemsleepy

/heem/ are you ready?

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just jerk off to her IG and go to sleep

which st louis does derek schott live in im gonna call him now i can't find his number

It’s not possible to think of women as being anything other than trash. All who disagree are liars.

thank you my brother
I've never been able to just nap

I went ahead an did it. Just dropped €1.20 on Jones/Woodley/Askren. I'm literally shaking right now.

Attached: rizinpotnoodle.gif (444x250, 1.7M)

wew what a mega pussy

sleep tight bro

MYSTERY NIGGA

I always forget Europeans use . as a ,

>Diego Sanchez

No shit; I legit thought he was literally declared brain dead 3 years ago.

Good for him.

Gay

Oh no no no no. Look how he folds when his meme takedowns get shutdown. Lawler by TKO rd 2.

When Smiff heems Jon, are you going to pretend like you knew all along so you don't look like a turbo caz?

>Freeze it. What do you see, Joe?

Attached: IMG_1557.png (327x335, 220K)

What do americans use to say $1.20?

>woodley

you messed up my man

Liar.

youtube.com/watch?v=Cx1J2CzNnS8

not a betting guy but I'll be sending my energy to see this happen

Spoonfeed me a prelim stream link lads

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rate

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youtu.be/FXqeJp6t0Po

nope i will 100% be in shock

That would be 1 dollar and 20 cents in US, I'm assuming he bet $120

how mad will you be if ben lays on robbie for 3 rounds?

No i think he bet 1.20 as is trying to be funny saying hes shaking

Lawler. Askren is peak reddit.

oh lel

>Mickey Gall

Well sir, I think you chose poorly in this regard. But he's a great guy and I'm so, so happy for him and his family.

Attached: Sage and Semen Demon.jpg (1080x1080, 1.09M)

he who heems, heems who he heems

the man is a legend

Redpill me on Bobby Ologun

My boy Robbie

Attached: rob.png (1529x986, 1.85M)

ghoul

>future champ Johnny Walker is fighting today

its gonna be a gud night

his head looks like a bean

sage dumped that lovely christian girl for some D-level hollywood whore

She's getting piped by Santos as we speak

Good on him.

>Uhhhhhhhh

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que sera sera whatever will heem will heem

>even angrier-looking than usual
will askren die tonight?

Reminder that Danaher's team is claiming he's discovered the next Big Meme in submission grappling. They are keeping it under wraps for now, but supposedly this is going to be a game changer. Personally, I figured he wouldn't release any instructional videos unless he had something new in the works.

/ourguy/ has done it again, lads. Brainlet Rogan will be watching from the sidelines, his feeble mind trying to piece together the greatness he's witnessing.

A new dawn of jiu jitsu is upon us, in MMA, in submission grappling, in self defense, everywhere. Only those who embrace The System™ will be rewarded, so get on the Danaher train now before it's too late.

Attached: John-Danaher-810x456.jpg (810x456, 44K)

She didn't appreciate his dedication to Lean Body™.

Attached: Leanbody always at hand.jpg (1125x1284, 269K)

Okay my final picks are in take my picks and lose money!

Marty from Nebraska gets ko'd in the first. And askren gets stumped on takedowns and gets that big hook to his afro dome

Attached: 20190302_170251.jpg (680x680, 233K)

good posts

youtube.com/watch?v=sKg0qhKISxc
just in time before early prelims

>™ mind

Is this the power?

Attached: 1525659237316.png (309x313, 126K)

Based BisKING

>Why, yes, I do watch all the UFC Embedded™ videos, how could you tell???

Attached: maxresdefault (1).jpg (1280x720, 227K)

Tonight i join Brendan "JUST FUCK MY SHIT UP" Frazier.

Attached: hhds.jpg (408x768, 46K)

I get pickle puffer vibes from sage. behind his good boy exterior is a massive batty boy

>tfw i have literally never picked a fight wrong

>heart explodes

>he hates content
ard

25 Good Boy Points? What bookie is that

Its called the rash guard

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why did elgin kills him bros

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John Danaher looks like he skins people alive.

>tfw I have a 25% success rate

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British pounds

Has Brendan P. Schaub released his opinion on this card?

Who's on commentary tonight. I'm hoping for Goldie, Rogan, DC and Cruz.

Thoughts on Benjamin Owen's Alex Jones JRE retort?

thanks for clarifying I thought they were good boy points

youtu.be/LDU_Txk06tM
:D

Post your face if smith heems jones

>haha hey user, don't forget I'll be stoppin by this evening to pick up my end of the cut haha hope you don't try to run away like last time haha

You haven't heard? His suffering is over. The age of Extricated Brendan has begun.

are picks done?

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At least you’re not Bryan caraway

waiting for this before I make my picks
also what does the P stand for?? haha

>Cruz
cringe and fagpilled

I prefer good boy points to bitcoin

anyone else listening to some good ol Creed here?

Persephone

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Nah....listening to Trapt here

no calendar gave up

Cruz and DC and most fighters always show Rogan up.

Best pub in Brisbane to watch the fight? I'm a filthy Victorian.

post the whore

I put a round robin bet on Walker, Lawler, and Marty. Not entirely sure what a round robin is though... Does it mean if I predicted at least 2/3 of them I get a payout?

can somebody animate this so it runs towards you in the octagon like that schaub gif

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Don't forget to keep your lawn heem-approved

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BINGS N BONGS PLEASE

im paying in bunda

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>No more alimony
>Doom patrol
UNJUST

1 bong 13 bings

>Trapt
i'll never forget them one of their songs was on the radio when i was going 210 kph, hit traffic and a cop pulled up behind me

this can't be real

I'm no fan of rogan but Cruz is boring and effeminate. Like his fighting style.

Sauce me this thot

hope you fucking choke on ur tidepods kid

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Askern meme concludes in the near future

Anna Nystrom

Who cares what the "I'll talk tough long after the interview is over" goof says? If he had a beef with Rogan, he should have manned up when he was talking to him.

was ronda autistic?

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yikes

BIG cringe

Walker going the distance is 5.50 odds, didn't he say in an interview he wants to go full 3 rounds to test himself? Good value

Nah, just fat and depressed

>tfw you will never plow Honda while she moderates a pokemon forum

until spicy prelims 2 bongs forty bings

until shitlims 1 bong ten bings

thanks bong, nice trips
i like to this it is, no souce tho

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Her vagina and ass are already all over the internet, not sure what she's trying to hide.

Fucking based. People used to shit on Creed, but I catch them singing along to 'With Arms Wide Open'.

his grandma is a jew which means he is a jew that's why he is so unlikable

I am 47 years old.

he's a jew by blood too

idk, post more and maybe for a proper inspection

fake asses are a major yikes
go back to posting niggers

But a phenomenal singer. A Jew can still be saved if they open their heart to Christ, bro. See Bob Dylan.

it's alright man, I'm on a 4 event streak of getting all but one main card fight right

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i get pumped listening to this
youtube.com/watch?v=9tjdswqGGVg

Heem is pulling for /ourmutt/ Smith right?

Not sure how to feel about that desu

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youtube.com/watch?v=jYzMMErBbHk

on the bright side the bookies love you

Cruz specifically has called Rogan out a number of times in commentary and Rogan gets hilariously defensive. DC is more playful but still fucks with Rogan.

we should be friends IRL

HANGING WITH THE BOOOOYYYYYYYSSSSS

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I started listening to Creed again after True Detective s2

daily reminder jon jones will lose to anthony smith
then to johnny walker
then to dominick reyes

dominick reyes will be champ after it's all said and done

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Went to my bookie to bet on Diego Sanchez and he got down on one knee and proposed to me confessing his love, super weird.

What is that in in real speed?

So when's the big day?

Friendly reminder Dominic cruz and Stephen thompson are homosexuals.

this is catchy as heck!

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this but unironically

He called it off after i bet on Usman, now he hates me

Strange, I emptied my pockets on his counter screaming the name "GALL, GALL, GALL" and in the next moment the man had acquired the fetal position in the corner of his booth.

youtube.com/watch?v=K2cNqaPSHv0

Its true with dom but doesnt Thompson have a wife and kids

Reminder: Cody "No Love" Garbrandt is TKOing Pedro.

Askren Ladd

Reminder that the UFC wants Usman to win because they failed with Ngannou.

Conspiracy theory: Cruz's beef with TAM started when one of their coache called him a fag without realizing he is actually a closeted homosexual

Smif will be the first three division champ

Sure thing, Cody

how long till early prelims

i like that british skank

Jones will call out Lesnar during his post fight interview tonight, successfully cucking Cormier yet again

can someone explain to me why americans go to bookies?
and what do they do?

>Gay?! I wish! If I were gay they'd be no problem! No, what I have is a romantic abnormality, one so unbelievable that it must be hidden from the public at all cost. You see...

Attached: Cruz Home Alone 3.jpg (2026x2175, 2.51M)

gabi garcia is unironically my fetish desu

Cage warriors hype

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How long til fights?

This is plausible but there is also the possibility that Cruz is celibate, like a monk

it was about the equivalent of you doing 130 mph in a 55 mph zone

Gamblings still not totally legal in all 50 states so you gotta go to a bookie to make a bet for you in a state that it's legal in.

Also I went to Bosnia a few months ago and jesus christ you guys have sportsbooks on every god damn corner

little under an hour till early prelims

>not stemm
pleb

GARBRANDT IS OUT
>GARBRANDT IS OUT
GARBRANDT IS OUT
>GARBRANDT IS OUT
GARBRANDT IS OUT
>GARBRANDT IS OUT
GARBRANDT IS OUT
>GARBRANDT IS OUT

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Jones
Woodley
Askren
Zhang
Garbrandt

you're welcome for next month's rent

garbage tier

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wgaf

shut the fuck up you shit bait sperg

based

did you really want cody 'gay love' garbrandt to go out there and wrestle with his lover for three rounds anyway?

i was saying here i was betting when i was 11-12 years old up till 17-18 when i realized theres no money in it and i gradually stopped playing and watching footy
how come you went to bosnia? diaspora?
how did ya like it where have you been?
if you visit zagreb ill buy you a beer

wouldnt mind having sexual intercourse with megan olivi ifyoucatchmydrift

source buddeh

Remember when he outed his own teammates for doing steroids?

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youtube.com/watch?v=pNkQMtZAMAw

t. Pedro

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I want Gabbi to sexually assault me.

i've smoked weed for a long time and i have no idea what that stuff is
nice bud tho, looks fluffy

lmao thats not what a bookie is you stupid little bitch.
Once again on Yea Forums, a very stupid loser posts something he knows nothing about, when he should have kept his retarded thoughts to himself.

my butt GOTCHA

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>Gamblings still not totally legal in all 50 states so you gotta go to a bookie to make a bet for you in a state that it's legal in.

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lawler gonna be keeping off the centreline throwing teep kicks and wait for bens shoot to try knee him in the face
caught Tyron with it but didnt hurt him.
It's similar to how the Cain vs Nganou fight was gonna go

I just want to cuddle her and treat her like the princess she is.

DUDE WEED LMAO

Join the /heem/ Whatsapp groupchat for comfy talks during the 235 live event

chat.whatsapp.com/HBpPIaGJZpcFXeZe6r9k9I

chat.whatsapp.com/HBpPIaGJZpcFXeZe6r9k9I

chat.whatsapp.com/HBpPIaGJZpcFXeZe6r9k9I

chat.whatsapp.com/HBpPIaGJZpcFXeZe6r9k9I

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HOW MUCH BONGS LEFT?

>Zhang
that's a 50/50, most likely going to a decision for either.

I'm not sure Lawlers going to be throwing many kicks.

Can I get a breakdown of what I"m seeing here?

Retard

>can't even satisfy

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man this CW cage is tiny

>It's Jon Jones destroys a can night

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I was actually born there, moved to the states at a young age but went back for a relatives funeral over the winter. Didn't have much time to do fun stuff unfortunately but Sarajevo's beautiful and I'll hopefully be coming back over the summer so I might have to take you up on that offer :)

That's literally the only reason I know people use bookies. Care to explain where I was wrong?

Cringe

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How are the docks little guy?

a fucking loser

Weed
“Syringe” full of dabs
Two vape pen carts
Some kind of candy

Imagine being locked in there with me. No where to hide.

These prices are through the roof compared to weed and hasj here

I keep going back and forth about that one. The weirdest fights always seem to be the toughest calls

WHAT'S UP /HEEEEEM/!
WELCOME TO THE WEIGH INS
BRUCE BUFFER, SEAN SHELBY, ARI EMMANUEL, BRITANY, ARRIANNY, DANA WHITE WITHOUT HIM NONE OF THIS WOULD BE POSSIBLE

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Lads i simply cannot shake the mental visualisation of Smif sitting at the post fight press conference with the belt right next to him and him just casually answering questions. It's gonna fucking happen.

literally nobody on Earth wants to be in a heem Whatsapp

She kinda looks like that rancid kike whore Amy Schumer.

>155
you got ripped off son

Reality’s gonna hit you hard kid

if my post ends in 6 its not

you guys don't have concentrates

hope you enjoyed it despite the funeral my fellow bosnian

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The bookie is the guy that takes and pays the bet, stupid. He's the sportsbook. You pay him, he pays you.
lol you thought a bookie was some guy that lives in Vegas and runs in the casino and places the bet on your behlaf lmao. A brainlet like you is never gonna have success in life.

I respect that, but for me I want something different. I want a woman to get aggressive. They are so submissive, all of them. I get tired of being the boss all the time, I just want a woman to aggressively sit on me and empty my balls.

I see why CEO's and other powerful alpha males go to dominatrixes. Can a fella get a break from having to be 'on' all tbe time? Women are so submissive you have to pay one to act aggressive with you.

I can't seem to shake the image of Smiths near lifeless body in the cage after receiving a shin to the side of the head

Yea I fucking hate you people

I liked the WEC Cage's when cowboy fought there with all the blue. It is also a lot smaller than ufc's octagon's

youtu.be/jItNABQwDEU I kinda dig the blue

lol you dont even have $155 to your name, kid.

The biggest upset in mixed martial history might happen tonight.

this the type of girl im too scared to go for because i have a 5 inch penis but then end up fucking one night when we're both drunk and it leading to a fruitful sexual relationship.

(has happened before) Penis size is 90% a meme.

Come join us you dumb faggots

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every thread i see you in, you're either spamming stipe or being friendly. i respect it

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jesus christ mate why are you blogging about your sex life on /heem/? no one asked

how fucking old are you? fucking loser.

Fair enough, always thought they made the bets in Vegas to circumvent the law ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Are we doing picks lads? Pic unrelated: it's a baseball player.

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i enjoyed it, but also don't believe the girl he fucked was as hot as that girl

neither do you anymore buddy

if you stop posting prime schaub every day i'll join
>inb4 it's not you
>it's you

I feel like $45 for straight concentrate is a great deal.

CAGE WARRIORS TAPPY

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honestly mate, i'm not a bad looking guy.. it's just i've got a bit of a small cock. I've had a few stunners.

I see that you watched bjj scout video earlier

Smif beats jones 9 times out of 10

any other oldfags remember this legend?

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Yeah but that girls ass is fucking huge

I want Robbie to end this meme can but I already know he’s getting wrestefucked

Having a small cock really isn’t even that bad. Does anybody really care how much the girl enjoys the sex or makes fun of you behind your back?

Lol the obese wheelchair loser reported my post. He thinks it matters.

Spammy, you will always be worth less than the shit on my toilet paper.

why does /heem/ use discord and whats app?

Schaub never had a prime. He always was a can

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Robbie's had a great career but I think his time might be up

Women don't give a shit about penis size. They only care if it's big so they can brag to other roasties. Maybe 5% of them care.

fuck off bucky

>Ben Askern having a fight of the night let alone the fight of the year.
Ben is a boring fighter and also he is not funny

i hope not but i'm worried too.

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it's a photoshop

then explain why people are intersted in his opinion my guy?

We don't

micro cope

Fun fact: BJJ Scout is Ryan Hall.

Like I said, you're stupid. A stupid man got a stupid woman pregnant and here you are, wasting people's time with your stupidity.
At least I can take satisfaction in knowing that just like Spammy, you will always be poor and worthless.

Not sure what you're trying to say and how is penis size a meme. There is a clear difference between a 5 inch penis and a 7+ inch one. Obviously it depends how you use it and porn is a Jew industry

>mad at opponent for lack of one's own skill

hmmmm

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I hope Lawler slaughters Askren, but there's about a 0% chance it happens. He's being fed to the wrestling lions.

>finishing Mitrione and Cro Cop
>meme
only newfags feel this way, maybe actually watch some fights instead of listening to that Rogan casual

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I can see him being autistic enough to do it

How could I ever forget those beautiful teeth?

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You're awfully angry for a guy high on drugs

saying penis size is a meme, i'm basically saying that women don't care for the most part.

I'm sure they'd care if it was like 9 inches and hurt them or it was like 3 inches and couldn't penetrate the properly. But those are extremes.

all women care about dick size. They are all pure hedonists.

Anti-wrestling fags in a nut shell. If your "boy" is too incompetent to not be laid on by another man then he's shit and it's not the wrestlers fault.

Memes and the faces he make with that weird skull of him

>Unironically shilling for schaub
>Wasting your time shilling for Schaub when you could be in our WhatsApp group. Fuck you John!

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off to sleep, catch you for the prelims lads

forgot how autistic you lads are

see you in 25 minutes

Ignorance is bliss, isnt it?

You'll also note BJJ scout's productivity drops sharply around the times Ryan has a training camp.

how could you forget that

can i get an invite to the heemcord? cheers x

Keep coping. 6 x 5 is a minimum satisfactory dick size for pleasuring via dick penetration.

No, they just want to be bred by a dominant man. That's all they care about.

dunno, it's why i stopped posting here in the first place

want marshmallows soooo badly lol

just a friendly reminder... THAT I COULD HEEM THE EVER LIVING CRAP OUT OF EVERY SINGLE LOSER HERE!!!!!!!!

>citation needed.
There are nearly no studies regarding penis size, as far as sizes or pleasure go

Just tell them its 8 inches, placebo effect my guy

redpilled

Cirkunov is going to destroy Reddit's guy Johnny Walker. You've been warned.

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I browse many boards. I browse many threads. For whatever reason /heem/ always is the mostly cultured and worldly.

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t. dicklet

all i look forward to in life are spicy cards and muay thai class

Sent ;)

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha good luck

the only person you could heem is your wife, mohammed

I think you are right and wrong. If she cares that much she wouldn't be worth wiving her up. However it is to expect most girls prefer 7 over 5 inches. Mine is 19,3 cm so that is like 7 inch? But my gf always has trouble taking it in at first but during sex she always moans that she likes it and I am sure if my dick smaller she would get less pleasure but 9 inch is indeed too much

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why the fuck are you guys talking about dicks go to /b or some shit faggots

thank you

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Epic cope. Hilarious when dicklets get upset and out themselves.

Has anyone else watched the 42 to 1 ESPN 30 for 30 about Buster Douglas vs Tyson?

I'm not saying it will happen again, but Smith and Buster's careers are eerily similar.

Tyson isn't and wasn't the greatest boxer of all time.

Incels larping as people that have had sex. Lots on larping on Yea Forums these days. It's sad.

The odds aren't anywhere near 42 to 1 in this fight lad.

I'm starting a /heem/ whatsapp group for heemers with small penises.

If i had to choose, i'd also go with Zhang but i wouldn't include womens fight in a parlay, especially not a 50/50 one like this.

Except Jones has balance in his life where Tyson didn't and has clearly trained hard for this fight.

I'm just trying to make a point, my dicks larger than your "minimum satisfactory dick size" but you'd never believe that so there's no point in arguing with you.

hahano

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fuck everyone on discord
im serious, if you are on discord you should kill yourself

I'm 7.5 inches and I've hit the cervix at least half the time I've been with a girl. Idk how dudes like Mandingo and Dredd aren't breaking bitches open

this

momentum from him always being on JRE and having TFATK with great guests

You want in, but can't come in
sad...

When does it start my dudes

They cheat on "dominant" men daily. They are pure hedonists that can never be satisfied ever, by anything.

youtube.com/watch?v=o3BpE-h5FXI
>she will never beat me up
>;_;

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Wise words

only people with severe autism hate the discord because they can't just let their autism run wild like in these modless threads

Who is that guy?
He kept posting his twitch stream in replies when I was asking the thread of a working stream for the last fight night.

Pretty sure he was pretending to reply to peoples questions too, there was no one in the twitch chat

Those girls are way beyond being busted up

I got someone that wants to join
See

life doesn't start until you decide to start living

no it's because he was an all star fighter, it's just a shame his injures prevented him from cementing his legacy with the casual fans. plus he's making so much money now selling out arenas it's not such a shame he's not fighting seeing as he entertains all us fans with his unique outlook and perspective on life and fighting with his numerous showtime and netflix specials desu but he is widely regarded as a top 5 hw of all time in his era

Who here is going to the STRIP CLUB to watch UFC tonight? Reminder that if you've never been to a strip club you're a fucking beta.

seething

Tyron Woodley is white

Exactly. Fuck the discord fags. WhatsApp /heem/ is the way to go

>she will never beat me up
probably because she is physically incapable of beating you up

undercard at 23:30

for sure paying to look at naked women you wont get to fuck is alpha my guy

What's the point in going to a strip club when I can go to my FWB place and actually get my dick wet?

Jonathan Jones

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Because the strip club is a big party. You like parties don't you?

Not gonna dignify that with a real response my guy

doubles confirm

That's twitchy, he's our local weirdo

They dont insert the whole dick, you ever watched porn and noticed how those huge-dick guys can put just like half of their dick in?

>STRIP CLUB
>paying and not having sex
If my parlay pays off I'm getting a Brazilian escort to triangle me

Kamarudeen "Kamaru" Usman

It's all about application. Even a 4'10" petite asian can fit a pringles can up there if she puts her mind to it.

what the fuck... this bitch looks like mia off fast & furious.
Rip paul walker

>the strip club is a big party

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does he/she dance for you?

Strip clubs are unbelievably sad for all people involved. It's not a party.

You don't go there to watch them get naked, you go to watch UFC with the strip club boizz and occasionally watch them get naked and drink.

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new bread pl0x

That's like saying bars are sad

...

Friendly reminder if your dick is 9 inches but hurts your gf.. A nigga with 5 inches who fits her better and gives her orgasms will steal ur girl.
It's not rocket science u fucking autism having shut ins

Nothing like parties full of desperate fat boomers amiright?

He’s from Ferguson, m8. He’s literally 100% purebred dindu.

I’ve never been to a strip club, but I’ve fucked hundreds of hookers.

>family man
>loves God
>loyal to his boys
>fights the establishment

In all ways except race, Woodley is a white man.

> Even a 4'10" petite asian can fit a pringles can up there if she puts her mind to it.
Got any videos?

Woodley makes Dana seethe and has done for a long time. He's Based.

>plays race card at the drop of a hat
>acts entitled, thinks he’s owed everything
>has a cringey rap “song”
>his mom is loud as fuck

He’s a nignog, m8. Face facts.

youtube.com/watch?v=YZS_j50Wtto

or

youtube.com/watch?v=ybO61MVwFss

As Theo Von says, he beat up fat guys in malls
youtube.com/watch?v=6NDpTcEPEJU

>doesn't let Daner walk all over them
>fights for his fair share
>accomplished musician
>his mother is his biggest fan

>if you can deadlift 500lbs and try to do it cold with no warm up you'll fuck your shit up and someone doing 300 for reps will be way more impressive

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Your retarted,

Based hedonist poster

>UFC 235 predicitions
strawpoll.me/17534529

>Leg locks in MMA

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