Market soccer to the average American

Market soccer to the average American

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Half time pies

This man could've played in the NFL
youtube.com/watch?v=1LW87rPBVCk

I'd rather not desu

>so look kid, in this sport there's actual gameplay

the beautiful game™

cringe, cant even say anything good about the sport *yawn*

Not enough commercial breaks, steroids, BBC, or domestic violence for my taste. Sorry.

The upcoming best players are going to be black and fast
Every team has shirt sponsors
Stats are getting more important than in the past

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would rather not desu

Timothy

Weah

The US is almost like nazi germany so it would have to be something like:
Not only third world countries like this game. It's the favorite game in Europe. After Brazil Germany and Italy are the teams with most WC titles

then you have to show them feats of athleticism:
youtube.com/watch?v=jLtS3ZnZWEg

and explosive players like the one I already posted:
youtube.com/watch?v=1LW87rPBVCk

Show them some ankle breakers making a reference to basketball
youtube.com/watch?v=tohHvASEda0

Show them not everyone is a manlet like pic related

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I can, I just don't give a fuck if Americans watch it or not.

Make the game have 4 times instead of 2, of 22 minutes each and add a show/contest in each of those times

Low cut female uniforms with a strip club DJ as the announcer.

22 men run after the ball and in the end Germany wins

I love how people believe that they inherently hate "Soccer" or American Handegg.
The only reason you ever care about any of these sports is because media largely broadcast them in the past, and indoctrinated your grand grandparents.
Everytime I see an american hating Football for being "boring" I just bring up Baseball.

>The US is almost like nazi germany
Cringe

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black people reaction youtube videos

More Fortnite dancing

watch your own shit sports fatty

its called football so you wouldnt have to learn a new word
fast black people are still OP
no commercial breaks
all celebrations are allowed
no kneeling for anthems
you can be racist and almost never get punished

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>The US is almost like nazi germany
You literally are clueless beyond belief. Enjoy cutting down your forests and burning down your national museum

Your country had racial segregation until the 50s. You're all obsessed with race. Even today you have segregation because of white flight.

>its this easy to trigger snowflakes on Yea Forums nowadays

i remember when you had to work to make someone mad on here

Having actual competitions. Why would anyone start to get interested in a European-style lead when the same teams win every year and this is your average result? This shit is boring

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why do brits get so mad when americans talk about soccer? you never see it with other countries

multiball

the champions league is the real competition, that is just like your ncaa basketball divisions or whatever, the good teams stomp the bad ones then get put in a tournament to find the best one

That's why you're hearing the idea of a Euro superleague being tossed around

>telling you to fuck off
>"mad"

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individual americans are fine its just america tends to take over and ruin anything it gets its grubby paws on, there must be a limit, it cant grow too much there. other countries arent as involved with you so dont know how detrimental a large number of you can be to things

>Caring about any league besides the Championship
Last bastion of true football. Fuck the Plastic League.

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contrary to the "excessively polite" stereotype we're an arrogant, dismissive, thoroughly unpleasant bunch.

Start broadcasting Captain Tsubasa and boom, you are set with youth teams

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Half time fan penalty shootout for a scholarship sponsored by US ARMY

it's not "mad". it's arrogance. because we invented the greatest sport the world has ever seen.

lmao you have no idea.

every championship team is owned by a billionaire
most are foreign billionaires
they pay tens of millions for players
many of the players are foreign
all these teams exist just to get to the premier league and then milk it as long as they can with no further desire for success

the championship is just a plastic league made up of plastic teams who got relegated from the premier league desperatly trying to return to satisfy their greedy jew owners. league 1 is real football. you just fell for their marketing strategy

It's often about inferiority when they used to hold dominant power. Since America has never been interested in the sport and it's the national sport in those countries there's no competition on which produces better talent and it's one of the last things they can feel any sort of power with. They obviously don't want America to get into it for this reason

I think the best way to market it would be towards zoomers through cultural means, such as showing football jersey in music videos and such.

>Since America has never been interested in the sport and it's the national sport in those countries there's no competition on which produces better talent and it's one of the last things they can feel any sort of power with
u wot boss?

This
If we had mass access to firearms there would be 90's slav tier bloody murder in the streets.

PSG already do this, ive seen so manh psg kits in rap videos.

>They obviously don't want America to get into it for this reason
Indeed. Don't want the likes of Lebron and Kobe tearing it up the sawker pitch

PSG shirts are pretty much on par with Gucci caps over here as in only worn by Nafris.

>there's no competition on which produces better talent and it's one of the last things they can feel any sort of power with

lmao there are plenty of countries that produce better talent, we are shit compared to brazil for example

both those guys would gas out in 10 minutes, and I am not trying to be a cunt, they are great athletes but they would.

different sports need different builds and strengths, a marathon runner would be shit at rugby, a rugby player would be shit at a marathon. and thats disregarding actually learning the skill to be good

dunno about that. Lebron is like Heskey 2.0. he'd be unplayable

Lebron is 250?, Heskey was probably around 180 tops.

TODAY ON NBC:
oy vey, goyim. only communists don't watch soccer (brought to you by at&t).

he wouldnt be that big if he played footy though. hed be a crouch tier skeleton because hed have to do cardio training 24/7 to not be tired after running 10km+ a game. its not like he was born muscly he worked out a lot and probs did hgh

call it football first

VAMOS EL TREE

>Communists being anti-semitic as usual
What a surprise

Hey American! Look at how beautiful this soccerball is! Stare into it’s glory! Don’t you want to see this ball being played with? Well luckily you can! MLS is on right now!

This ball is so beautiful that you probably want one for yourself, don’t you? Well they’re only $164.99, and shipping is FREE!

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sick ball tbf

Soccer: The most capatalist sport

I don't like americans nor do I like the influence of foreign capital on football

Soccer in Europe is more of a ritual than a sport. It’s the same teams winning over and over and the same supporters winding each other up. The amount of money laundering, corruption, and play acting by the athletes makes the whole thing more like a pro wrestling spectacle. About the only things they got right in Europe are pro/rel and keeping universities out of it. Dickheads will disagree with me saying I have idea what I’m talking about but these are the same people who wank over “tradition” that they had nothing to do with.

BIG BLACK NOGS

The way to score a goal is called shooting

Show them this picture

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kinda enjoyed this rant desu

1. Reduce the goal size by about 80% because it's pathetic that it's 500 square feet and yet 0 goals are ever scored
2. Reduce size of the ball, give the guys a stick to hit it now since it's too small for kicking
3. Naturally cut team size in half since 9/10 of the guys are just walking around anyway
4. Shrink the field by half because why the fuck is there a mile between goals
5. Speed it up by putting everything on ice
Oh look I made hockey. Every feasible improvement to soccer, except not adapted by the third world because they don't have air conditioning

i'll say one thing about hockey, it's not as boring as basketball

international sport

VAMOS EL TREE

1. Baseball. (unironically a good sport. on a par with cricket).

----Power Gap-----

2. NFL (better than rugby. rugby is shit).

3. Hockey (better than hockey. hockey is shit).

----Power Gap-----
----Power Gap-----

4. Basketball

He said market it, not make it off-putting.

america population = 325.7 million
world population = 7.53 billion
yeeeeeh thats a yikes from me lad

thy ancestors game™

>including chinks
>including niggas
>including streetshitters
>including goblins
The world has less than 2 billion actual people, the rest is negligible

>tfw turned over by subhumans

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america has three world cups, which is more than every country except Brazil, Germany and Italy.

7 billion people who would rather watch real colonial sports

>america has three world cups
don't do it to yourself

Tekashi was wearing a Real shirt in one of his vids too. Although to be fair, I imagine that's pretty normal for spics

youtu.be/cpT-u5iLYjE
SISSY BALL

Soccer in the US is a sport for women and gay people. Turn on any MLS match and you'll see a pride flag flying around. The most famous American soccer players are women. It's just the way things are.

We shorten the fields 25%, we make the goals twice as wide and with two goalies defending, everyone has to wear the same size bowling shoes, tie breaker is every player has to drink a half gallon of buttermilk and continue playing until someone scores, and each team has goal sluts that are paid to flash tits and bare ass if their team scores. Murica.

most of America will be Mexican, so no need for that

They're just like the norf fc "dunt like foreigners" meme.
>CUH MON SUTHERN U! SCORE SUM FUKKIN TOUCHDOWNS!

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youtube.com/watch?v=qT3PElHuxCY

based mrbtongue to the rescue

Underrated as fuck. Fucking kek

‘ate philly
‘ate new york
‘ate washington
‘ate pittsburgh
‘ate san fran
‘ate houston
‘ate new englin
‘ate brittons
‘ate frogs
‘ate krauts
‘ate muslims
‘ate jews
‘ate chinks
‘ate injuns
‘ate socka
‘ate canada
love me cowboys
love me football
love america
Simple as