Heem

spidersilva.com

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Other urls found in this thread:

ufc.tv/video/cage-warriors-102-prelims
youtube.com/watch?v=RVYOayU7huY
youtube.com/watch?v=xn7zTF4Xo3I
youtube.com/watch?v=YTWpob8LsQs
youtube.com/watch?v=cbSTEdMdlXs
youtube.com/watch?v=lft0-lYquRY
youtube.com/watch?v=nINUZadGEpM
youtube.com/watch?v=H-tVOOhPJKM
youtube.com/watch?v=WPi9agFQbvE
jiujitsutimes.com/rickson-gracie-convinces-rener-to-stop-online-blue-belt-promotions-threatens-to-call-him-a-charlatan/
fat.gfycat
youtube.com/watch?v=_5vncxGJ2p4
youtube.com/watch?v=wq2HJyHQbms
youtube.com/watch?v=Yo47waDR5Z4
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

1st for put your house on Smiff

For me it's Zabit Magomedsharipov

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Third for where the fuck are the picks

which one of the russian/dagestani lads was supposed to be better than khabib?

T.sperg

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Diego Sanchez vs Mickey Gall

Cody Stamann vs Alejandro Pérez

Johnny Walker vs Misha Cirkunov

Jeremy Stephens vs Zabit Magomedsharipov

Attached: picks.png (819x460, 5K)

Put the house on Lil Heathen, Zabit is going to sleep.

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Zabit definitely will be a way more exciting fighter to watch for mainstream audiences than Khabib.

The GOAT weeb. Truly one of us.

Nobody can stop me now..

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muh mainstream
ate casuals , simple as

What odds do you guys think memebender/fatselum will open at? Is IT smarter to bet om fatselum quick because bookies expect npcs to fall for the adesanya meme, or will it be wiser to wait?

i'll watch his fight tonight, so i can see the reason for the hype

Does gastelum still have worms?

Israel will be the favorite im sure because of the hype and size difference maybe like -200ish

doesnt speak english lad

I would wait. Adesanya hypes himself up pretty well

Don't @ me or my son ever again. I like watching Khabib fight and get shit on for saying that on here all the time.

Who cares about interviews, I'm talking about his fighting.

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Maybe do half in the beginning and save the other half for potential spikes? I feel like this is the best betting fight in ages desu

Odds are already out

The Jones memes ends soon

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If you want mainstream audiences to like him he's gotta be marketable.

I just put a 100$ bet on smif to win a decision

oh look another ufc card full of literal whose. Can't wait for a real fighter like McGregor to return to the ring to show these nobodies what it means to be a warrior.

anyone notice that Rogan during the weigh ins fucked up his name first while zabit was walking out to the scale and called him MagomedSHAPIROV and on the scale he called his name the correct way.

LITERALLY the same thing happened on the last ppv zabit fought. I remember it very clearly.
Are we living in some sort of simulation guys?

what are the odds on that?

Does Geathje get a title shot after he heems barbozo?

+1800

why the fuck would that happen?

jesus christ, I hope smif pulls it off

>someone retard is retarded in the same way on two seperate occasions
>this means all reality is generated by a incomprehensible cosmic computer
This is your brain on atheism

post slip la

What are your bets lad?

I won’t steal them I promise

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dont argue bros, just take some dmt and open your brown eye

The HGH GUT

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Thank you international heem friend

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charge your fuckin phone

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Meant for this guy

Who /tyron/ here?

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cringe

>t-wood by dec at 4
literally free money

cringe

aspie

Will post after lads :^) here's a tip, consider Diego vs Gall for yours

the real question is
waterwedoan after 235 is over

Who cares
Who cares
Who cares
stephens

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He hasn't streamed in almost a month :(

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>Walker
>Who cares
The cazziest of the cazzies.

onions

Smith should retire if he loses

Lads should I watch UFC at the strip club or Buffalo Wild Wings?

I imagine most posters here looking like twitchy. At least the americans.

>6'2"
>145 lb
Why do people do this?

bww but flirt with the 5'5 white girls with brown pony tails who work there like you're at a strip club

What a tasteless demonstration of cultural appropiation.

Reachbabby

so that jones loses and that guy gets 1700 buck

Hey-o girl I didn't ask for an order of ass with these wings but I'll take it anyway

cause they're pussies

I'll take the check and I'll take your number

Some of you guys are alright. Don't watch the UFC tonight.

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A stripper I know used to work at Buffalo Wild Wings

She's moved up in the world lads.

Lads, I'm vacationing in Belgium and have no idea how to survive until the unholy hour that tonight's event is at here, any suggestions?

go to a brothel

If Torres wins I'm unironically never watching UFC again

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are you guys HYYYYYYYYYYYPPPPPED?????!!!!!!!!!!

You make a compelling point, Hans.

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Go to Mosque. Inshallah Brother.

Every time this shit. Every fucking time a complete can fights a dominant fighter and the intellectuals on heem say hmmmm maybe he can geta meme win... No. Stop.
If the fight ends with anything other than ko tko jones i will kill myself on stream.

if you are close to our border come here. prices and service are better here

Not really, without Holm this is middling card at best

>Mr. Bone
He can't keep getting away with it!

Let me tell you something, you uneducated fool… I have not always been like this. I was not always really rich. I started from the bottom. I made myself, I worked very hard to be where I am right now.
I know you don’t believe this because you didn’t succeed yet – and maybe you will never succeed in your life – and I don’t think you’re smart enough to understand how you should do things when you reach that point.

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moderate hype

>Caring about wmma
>trips
hmmmmm

Oh man I've seen so many towelheads here, it ain't even funny.

Not really, I'm in Brussels. Are you referring to better service at the German brothels, or just in general?

>Every fucking time a complete can fights a dominant fighter and the intellectuals on heem say hmmmm maybe he can geta meme win... No. Stop.

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Will renatch be in martys corner tonight as well?

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We all wanna be right that one magical time so that we can take a screenshot and cash it in for Street credibility in a Mongolian basketweaving BBS.

Smith is not a can, he's undefeated at light heavyweight. He was only a can because he was cutting too much weight, kinda like Rumble (who Jones was 100% shook by, btw).

wmma doesnt count and holy was a beast of a peach. Who the fuck is anthony smith

>She's moved up in the world lads.

Well, now she's up on a pole, so I guess so.

>Smifposting starting to get to me
>Jones still wins but I’m sort of excited for the fight now
Thanks guys

Is Ireland called that because y'all are always so angry? Is that what went wrong with McShitter?

what to bet on tonight lads?

except he is fighting the current most dominant champion on ufc roster and his previous fights were very scrappy.

>wake up marty dear

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who else got 250 on askren tonight

ELBOWS TYRON

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Don't bet my guy. Buy weed/beer with it.

Describe your mental state in one word

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>y'all

What are you doing Belgium?!

i do because my dad is a bookie and i want him to LOVE me

i need to turn another bet slip in, so i could make another with the earnings from the other one.

Glad that meme died out quickly

Lawler

Smith was never good

Golden.

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Can't wait to cash my Jones-Askren-Zabit parley

Sounds like you're addicted to gambling and I'm to drugs. Is cool

Maybe not but he has the heart of a lion.

Bum Askren

Based

no i mean the brothels, although I think germany has cheaper prices in general aswell.
But Id recommend you to travel around a bit. Everything is pretty close by. Amsterdam, Paris and Cologne are all really only half a roadtrip day away.

What is the scenario that would make /heem/ seethe the most?

he woulda got heemed by prime Penn if it wasn't for the grease

R8 my parlays /heem/

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This night will end more memes than 217

askren woodley and Jones by decision

Usman wining

Probably an Usman win, I feel like heem is pretty evenly split on the other fights

Jon was shook

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>woodley
bookies love you

kek, yeah why hide the truth

The best result tonight would be for Askren to win, but to win in a boring fashion. Uncle Dana will be doubly wrecked. And in the end, that's all that really matters.

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I like Dana, he seems pretty based to me

Yep his scream was even off & goofy af.

Not enough picograms this camp to beat Lionheart.

no upsets and boring fights

Stephens
Lawler
Usman
Smith (by unanimous decision)

>his previous fights were very scrappy
For sure my guy, Shogun and Rashad were dragging him into yugely deep waters a hundred persent but I agree my man

no matter who wins, we lose

Fer shure

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Exactly and no one knows if you're a dog or an mma fighter irl

/heem/ loves all of those guys except Poosman

Get the train the fuck out of Brussistan and get yourself a few beers and take stroll through Brugge.

A win for Woodley and Askren, kills 170. Although we might see Woodley jump up to 185 if that happens.

this, people think i'm some guy with all my shit together irl, so nice to come on here and be the real me

Just reemphasize your point, nobody likes Tyquil or Marty

There’s plenty of people picking Zabit and Askren here, and Smith is Reddit personified

That isn't even the worst pic lol

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>tyquil
turbocringe

Based

>Tyrone wins again
>Dana continues to seethe
kek

AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRGGHHH FIGHTS TONIGHT ARE YOU PUMPED

YES ARE YOU

imagine how happy dana would be if ben and tyron lose.

Betting for the first time has me nervous tee bee h

That sounds nice, Georges!

This was at the end of the stare down. Jon first tried to look hard, then made a nervous smile and quickly looked away.

ufc.tv/video/cage-warriors-102-prelims

Is live btw

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This, Zabit finna sleepe.

Stephens + Lawler is probably the best parlay right now.

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>tfw everyone is ducking Colby

Everyone would be happy those are the two most disliked fighters in MMA

Askren is at least marketable. The Lawler vs. Askren fight is a win-win for Dana; he either gets rid of an annoying dude and boosts his promotion’s profile, or he starts building another draw

>/heem/ fighters
Non reddit fighters
>reddit fighters
Non-/heem/ fighters

Pretty simple

I like Tyron and Ben is growing on me.

Well, you are a clown

What’s the breakdown of these for 235

Believe it or not, Dana likes Ben now. Ben Askren is an extremely sincere and likable guy. Almost anyone would have a positive opinion of him if they ever talked to him one-on-one, except his opponents I guess.

It's okay Mr. Bone, just believe in yourself and you're gonna get your belt back someday.

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nobody else cage warriors?

Literally who has Zabit fought?

Lil Heathen has been fighting champs for years

SeeDumb redditor

Sames. It is what it is. Hang in there breh

Today is the day, Jon

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Robbie looks JACKED, holy shit he's good. Lawler is back and will expose that bum """uberwrestler"""
After that will take place the rematch with Tyrone
Lawler will be champion again

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Nah, watching John Wick 2 then taking a nap & going to my niece’s birthday party

And then Askren wrestlefucks while the crowd stares in silence.

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>what are you having user?

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No one, he's basically a tiny version of Till, i.e., total bum, just tinier.

Stop getting my hopes up you evil rat bastard

Fighters who smile beforehand have been statistically shown to lose more often.
Bet the house on smith.

...salad.

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Can you eat 12 eggs under a minute /heem/?

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you t-too

based
t. cazzie racist

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Why is he so beautiful and aesthetic??

I’ll take some of that Turinabol tainted coke please

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what'd you get her?

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What’s the memetic equivalent of kin-selected altruism? Who are my memekin?

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After seeing Askren/Santos, I'm putting my last fiver on Lawler.

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Smif looks like an actor from here (Escobar in Narcos)

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>tfw you realize Askren is the actual high-level, intelligent version of Colby

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Gall
Pérez
Walker
Zabit

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>lawler stuffs the first 3 takesdown
>gamethread hype builds
>Askren lands the fourth takedown
>annoyed lawler sitting on the fence.guf

based

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Will do

Colby is 10x smarter than Asskren

Nothing yet, any ideas? She’s having a princess party.

wtf was this?

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you don't have the main event

If I were Smif I'd go berserk from the start and throw some hammers on Jones from the beginning

The only way Robbie can lose is if the fight ends in DQ/NC.

I can see Askren poking Robbie's eyes out when he finds out how it feela to face a real fighter for the first time and panicks.

Or I can see Robbie feeding him knees while Askren is going for his shitty takedown, so he'll technically be a downed opponent.

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LOL
Colby has brain damage from a Brazilian boomerang beating

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jon jones is in over his head. he's bit off more than he can chew. he's in dire straits. he's digging an elephants grave with a teaspoon. he's poked the hornets nest. he's gonna be spitting at the wind.

it's over, jon

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Wal mart or target, whichever's closer

>>annoyed lawler sitting on the fence.guf
>Like a man enraged at a poor quality toy boat

I can see Robbie quitting in the 2nd like the washed up roid can he is

Robbie has been a bum for at least 2 years

Remember the Greg Hardy meme?

based retard

maybe when holloway is past his prime as well Tcte will be able to put that notch in his belt too. probably not though

If Robert comes out like he did against Cowboy, he will finish Askrens career in 2 min.

the youtube algorithm started reccing Matt Stonie and it blew his peanut boomer brain

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Askren has been a bum for 34 years.

I better not see your flag in these parts when jones dismantles your meme boy smif

What does heem think of Brett johns?

HEY

How about we discuss the fights without insulting fighters for no reason, huh?

solid

seems like he tries hard

Matt stonie is kino what are you taklking about

I'll be here baby boy, don't worry.

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Lincoln
Walker
Stamann
Gall

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Smif looks like an actor from here (played Escobar in Narcos)

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People say Dom was protecting his boy when he was arguing against the knee. This is a tiny brain take, Dom was defending the org like a good company man.

hes a bum

>WHERE ARE THE PICOGRAMS, JON?!

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We found his wife kek she’s hideous

I think he was having pity on the guy. How do you not finish a fight having that position to land knees? Even I would

>You wanna train with champions not losers
kek, halle berry is past her prime but still looks good.

>this is going to happen again

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kek that character is like our version of chuck norris

I once went to a b dubs with the blokes and we got one of the lads to ask out the waitress.

She politely declined.

If only BOPE would do this to all potheads around the world.

Stephens and Misha mate.

What if Ben fucks up and knees Robbie and the ground and gets dqed

how the fuck did that land the guy has no head movement at all

>shilling smif for days
>never posts slip

Reebok have tampered with Ben's shorts after he commented negatively on their company
this will lead to him being unable to move as freely and he will be unable to land takedowns.

It doesn't end there however, as by losing the fight, it will mentally affect his teammate, Tyron Woodley and he will be unable to perform to his potential and subsequently lose against Usman.

Smiff may or may not take confidence in the underdogs performing well and go on to heem Jones, but this one's just a possibility. The smart locks are in.

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is this the most based man to ever do it?

to support Askren in this fight should be a permaban

If you're getting dominated by wrestlers than it's your goddamn fault. Imagine if he was a thief and was pinned like that? The police would come and arrest him

This has happened in Brazil many times, including women immobilizing male thieves
youtube.com/watch?v=RVYOayU7huY
youtube.com/watch?v=xn7zTF4Xo3I

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Just finished betting, have at least 6 parlays with Smif.

lmao /heem/ rainman is seeing the patterns again

>hating on based Tony

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Hendricks hands allowed this to happen

Jones-TD is too much for smif
Usman- Woodley gassing
Lawler- Heem
Torres- SD
No Dad- hands too fast
Stephens- Follow up shots
Cirkunov- Sub
Stamann-UD
Sanchez- close but hopefully his chin holds

Askren has nowhere near as much power as three steak Johny had.

How is tapping a bjj blackbelt with a calf slicer being a bum?

There it is

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I said he was a BASED retard

Sanchez vs Gall is a funny matchup. Classic UFC.

the signs are clear

I'm actually scared about the Tyron part.

Askren is gonna get absolutely brutalized by Robbie, it might actually affect Tyron's performance. I may put one cheeky parlay on Poosman too.

Not Hating Brother Just Thought I'd Post To See What My Heem-Bros Thought

Why do you capitalize every word?

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Brett pls go

oh man ill have to postpone ym faily drinking just so i dont pass out when ufc actually starts.

Imagine being Kamaru Usman. Getting meme'd on by Ben Askren, changing the way you talk to hide the fact that you're really just Marty from Nebraska, and literally painting your face for a weigh in to doubledown on your big boy persona. How fucking sad.

did his mental retardation make him duck based Max?

More thieves being owned by jitz (including women)
youtube.com/watch?v=YTWpob8LsQs
youtube.com/watch?v=cbSTEdMdlXs (this one was dumb)
youtube.com/watch?v=lft0-lYquRY
youtube.com/watch?v=nINUZadGEpM
youtube.com/watch?v=H-tVOOhPJKM

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it was based

This one is the other way around. According to the title it's a thief disarming a policeman
youtube.com/watch?v=WPi9agFQbvE

Jon sure makes a lot of female friends.

>Sanchez made FW
>Gall is a 6'2 career WW

would love to see Diego win but not liking his chances here

He's good for a cheeky parlay, his biggest problem is his chin, but Gall is pillowfisted, so it works out.

I think Diego will win

>tfw Jose Aldo has won more fights than Conor in the past 2 years

shit

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Last 2 years*

boys I'm fucked, I bet on Lawler a LOT of times on a bunch of trebles. I wasn't even inebriated, what do?

Question Hue Bro...

Do most Brazilian women have that type of brappers?

Get inebriated

>Conor really wants Khabib, I love this kid XDDDDD

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BJJ blackbelt doesn't mean shit any more, it's more about competiton or coaching accolades these days. There are BJJ blackbelts I could tap. One good blackbelt will beat an entire gym of scrub blackbelts, one after the other.

Celebrate all the money you'll be making in a few hours?

I'm already on it

1. Go to betting site
2. Pick Jones, Woodley, Asskren parlay
3. Make infinite free money

Is there any reason NOT to do this?

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2bh no but it is the ideal type of bunda

I have 1 bet on Askren, I just think Lawler has too much heart and experience. He's so weathered though, I'm fucked

Haha haha the fucking flag checks out. Go fuck yourself you worthless non traning piece of shit

Is Joe working this card for UFC?

You can criticize the gracies but they always wanted to prevent this. The original guys even criticized the online shit from Rener

Congrats

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1 10th planet black belt would destroy any number of gracie black belts

there isn't, go do it.

The original gracies were always against McBelts
jiujitsutimes.com/rickson-gracie-convinces-rener-to-stop-online-blue-belt-promotions-threatens-to-call-him-a-charlatan/

Its a very close fight but I think Usman could gas woodley.

LOL money after all

mma fights have a very high upset ratio and twood and askren aren't that much better than opponenets

Robbie is fresh as fuck and Askren never fought anyone who's good. Keep calm, you're making money brother.

>the city of Brazil
fucking kek

favourite brazilian fighter?
for me it's Maia or Johnny Walker

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i love you

Just bet 100 on stephens and smif to win. 2100 payout if it happens

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I remote viewed the outcomes of this event, if digits, I will share 1 of them.

You know there are competitions to prove this? The gringo whose dick is most sucked on nowadays: John Danaher is a Renzo Gracie black belt

whats a good betting site for leafs?

Gall dropped Northcan with a shot. But also something people don't seem to be thinking of is Gall's atrocious gas tank. Brown made him gas in one round.

so lads, i'm going to the store to bet, what's some bets for tonight

Unless they're using it as a step towards trying to get the finish, they're dishonoring MMA and abusing the rules by not actually fighting but instead playing a game for the judges.

Those homicides are like that because of the drug war 2bh. We have drug gangs that are rival against each other and recently they are expanding to other parts of the country

People were saying the same shit about Holloway. If he turns out to be flushed then bad luck, but it’s not a given

I'm glad that I'm actually being reassured for once, I love ONE and all but I think only their WMMA fighters are decent, they mainly only have good strikers. No wonder Asscrack did well

based

You're based, should have thrown in Robbie too though.

>munhoz
>who cares
>askren by absolute snoozer
>usman by TKO
>jones by 50-40

just a friendly reminder that.... I COULD HEEM EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU!!!!!!!!!

how many eye pokes for jones to win this one? Is it going to be a first round eye poke or a second round gouge?

All gringos have a gracie lineage.

Eddie's lineage:
>Lineage: Mitsuyo Maeda > Carlos Gracie > Hélio Gracie > Carlos Gracie Jr > Jean Jaques Machado > Eddie Bravo

BET ON
>WALKER
>JONES
>WOODLEY
>ASKREN
FREE MONEY RETARDS.

It's true, user. I train and compete sometimes. I'm nothing special but there are black belts I have wiped the floor with. Black belt doesn't mean what it used to.

This is true, most of the old school guys are hardasses about handing out belts. You won't even get a blue belt from some guys unless you are a legit killer.

10th Planet isn't that good, especially for how big a franchise they are. They don't win shit at the top level. John Danaher, a Renzo Gracie guy, by himself has the entire 10th Planet squad perpetually shook.

both

if theres a few upsets tonight this could be the GOAT card

lawler askren by decision

Askren getting heemed big time tonight. Been grapple fucking bellator guys for too long

This, and Woodley is going to be shook. Him and Askren have been close for a long time.

Didn't Tyrone say he never watch other fights especially not teammates ones?

What do you train then you fucking liar? Absolutely no one who trains saY's they would be able to wipe the floor with bi black belts unless you're a seasoned mma vet.

Bet you trane ufc too don't you Bro?

>forgetting about Fadda
>Going all the way back to Maeda
Why not include kano as well cringy try hard.

fat.gfycat DOT
com/RawHighFallowdeer.webm

Woodley already said he won't be watching Askren's fight until after he's done with his own. The outcome of Askren vs. Lawler will have no impact on Woodley vs. Usman.

I heard Tyron is giving Ben an n-word pass to help in the buildup to his inevitable fight with Usman.

>no cro cop edition
Shameful display

I really fucking hope this is true, but he might hear something because this will be the biggest mauling in the Octagon in long time.

I got this from the bjee website. They always include Maeda.
Another high level gringo that I know about:
Keenan Cornelius:
>Lineage: M. Maeda > C. Gracie > R. Gracie > Osvaldo Alves > Luis Dagmar > André Galvão > Keenan Cornelius

the problem with this is Tyron has specifically gone on record recently saying he wont watch Ben Askren fight because the result either way will be distracting.

That's great, I hope so, I have too many parlays with Twood.

Not being a true fightfan tonight. Good night

Why nobody cagewarrior?

Can he actually do it? I've been reading predictions and it doesn't look promising

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>hating on based dana
I too remember being a high schooler

What time do the prelims start UK time?

I train jiu jitsu, boxing, and a little muay thai. All I'm saying is 'black belt' is a declining standard and competition or coaching wins tell you more about how good somebody is.

Not every BJJ black belt is that good at jiu jitsu. You'd be surprised.

This is the best card UFC has put on in 5 years. If you're a true fight fan you're signed up to Fight Pass, ESPN+, logged into Facebook for prelims, and have bought the PPV in HD.

He may as well admit that he thinks Robbie is going to manhandle his boy.

1am I believe

>throwing your money at le angry bald man
Mark

In shitty Canada maybe, all the UK black belts are shit hot.

Even if he thinks Askren will win, it makes sense not to watch. If he's too busy celebrating his friend to focus on his own fight it might hurt his performance

Based. Woodley really seems like a likable guy. I'm pretty racist and even I like him.

I'm a competition brown and I easily beat every hobbyist black at every local school around here. Black belt doesn't mean anything anymore. Skilled blues are on par with black belts of 10 years ago.

Yes but actually no, I hate the Jones suck ducking here, I know Cormier its pretty reddit and also a cheater but that shouldn't make you jump immediately to contrarian side, the true patrician choice will be Stipe in that case

out of all the shitty cards you could have chosen to miss and you choose a fucking banger of a card

agreed

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Not all of them. I guarantee you some of them are scrubs that I would tap. Doesn't mean they're not fit to teach, I've never met a black belt that wasn't capable of teaching beginners. Just means they aren't that high level.

Nice try

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Set an alarm, pussy

mate even if he doesn't watch he's likely going to find out what happened
it's literally in the same venue, maybe even locker room. It's not hard to pick up cues

I thought everybody knew that black belts were worthless
>It's the man that gave it to ya that matters

This guy knows what I'm talking about.

I didn't choose this. It just happened.

Where the predictions for tonight at?

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>not understanding his 4d chess

don't be a pussy

passing out before the event starts

When does it start our time? 2am or something?

I will try to hang through ofc, but I'm pretty sure its not happening

How much of the bongs and the bings until the first fight?

It would be really hard for him *not* to beat Askren.

Zabit meme ends
Walker meme ends
Gall gets flushed and Diego retires
Garbrandt is permaheemed
WMMA is boring
Askren meme is killed in the cradel
Tyron wins an exciting FOTN and possible FOTY, promotes his new rap album, and then doesn't fight again for 11 months
Jones meme ends

4 bongs roughly until the early prelims

just take a nap still have like 6 bongs to prelims

So are we all agreed that Jon Bernthal should play Schaub in the inevitable biopic?

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I don't want your picks, you've been posting all day about how Smith is a lock.

nap now?
card is in a while, you could even skip the early prelims

Reminder that when Robbie and Smith both lose, Switzerland is permanently banned from /heem/

you guys don't have meth in Finland?

He's def white enough

Pls

Rumpelstiltskin looking motherfucker

SURPRISE EMBEDDED
youtube.com/watch?v=_5vncxGJ2p4

Khabib and Tony still haven't fought yet? They're really taking this whole april fool's joke seriously, huh?

CageWarrior pacing>everybody else's

Not a bad idea, it's hard to wake up from the deep sleep
Pretty sure we have but fuck that shit

based and same

Logan Paul absolutely mogs Woodley

cringe

quitter

>not trusting your money with Switzerland

Heh, rookie mistake user. Me and based medkit will be laughing as we count our winnings.

Smith-Lawler parlay, free money.

The face of america

It's quite simple. He's literally not.

>Jones meme
Oh you mean, the meme of, in essence, bulldozing every opponent and overcoming every moment of adversity he is faced with, both inside and out of the octagon.

Yeah, i'm not sure that quantifies as a meme my fried friend

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>dummies ITT comparing robbie's chances to smif's

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yeah smith has way better chances than old man lawler

The Jones meme ends tonight

Hey I'm still here

i will heem you stiff

As the proto-Smif poster I have to say, palms getting sweaty in anticipation.

Robbie is 99% lock, Smith is 90%. Not the same, but with the odds given you can't afford not to go in heavy on Lawyer-Smith meme team.

Enjoy that one minute of action lad

I honestly don't mind Smif getting a shot, but let's not act like this isn't an embarrassing mismatch

No one actually thinks Askren is going to win right?

Where does the F in Smif come from?

Smith has a better chance, tbf

>Eddie Bravos music su-
youtube.com/watch?v=wq2HJyHQbms

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hes in my picks but ill be happy if he loses

Based Jonny Bones using a UK VPN.

Yeah, Jon's fall will be legendary, though.

He wears his headphones all the time

stephens is free money

like to see him win but i picked ruthless man

He has better chances than Marty and Smiff tbqh famala

zabit is free money

At the ceremonial weigh ins joe Rogan called jon Jones the reigning, defending light heavyweight champ. Is he actually the defending champ, /heem?/

nah bro stalling for 15 minutes sitting on a guy's legs is extremely exciting

Well, considering he's a big betting favorite I'd say most people think he's going to win

Just won 20 quid playing blackjack and left, casino is in shambles lads i've done it.

Manlets will rise tonight

Lawler is free momey. KO's Askren in 20 seconds

What's the easiest way to bet? Is there a way to gamble with ethereum where the odds are more in your favor because less overhead?

why. very reddit and boring style

dont let the money change you b

Whew, lads.

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Reported for card counting

i worry i may be a different person after i win big on woodley and jones tonight with my HUGE £60 bet. Someone STOP ME!

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that's stupid. lawler hasn't won by first-round ko in 6 years. if he wins it'll probably be a ko/tko late in the fight or by decision

>artem what the fuck

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The only way lawlet wins is a lucky shot in the first 30 sec

big money baller

Wheeeeew

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Based.

>there are several first 30 seconds in a fight
ben's fucked

Wanna know how I know you have autism?

did i fuck up, i had the jones match to go til decision and usman to win together

None of that is happening

yes

Askren is going to shoot and get stuffed. He's going to panic and get gadooshed.

How does anything else happen? Askren only had to fuck up once in three rounds and Robbie will smoke him.

>go into the desert
>have a lazer set at a certain height
>measure the height it hits a wall set a good distance away
>if it hits it higher the earth is round, if not it's flat
That's one way to prove the earth is round.

that was a roller coaster of emotion

youtube.com/watch?v=Yo47waDR5Z4
Was he right?

>Prime steak Hendricks couldnt take Lawler down
>Somehow Ben Askren will

interesting

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I never said Smif will win.

will Jon shock the world tonight?

t-theres no way tyrone doesn't get the finish right

How did you guess?

>I get paid for it and only have spergitis

You must be a homosexual if you think that.

>>>Reddit

I knew It was at least Asperger's
The battery

New phone, good guess though.

I COULD HEEM EVERYONE HERE AND TWICE ON SUNDAY

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All right senpai. Who you got in lawler/Askren and zabit/manlet?

Why do fighters shave their body hair?

semen gets stuck in it

Closeted homosexuality

Lawler all day and Zabit VS Stephens for FOTN, it's gonna be a stand and bang if Zabit doesn't get bopped by the manlet in 30 seconds.

hot and bold take

I say Zabit just on style but I think Stephens can knock anyone in his division out if he catches them, honestly I dunno.

U won't

To look more ripped

Zabit has only fought bums

big if true

Pretty much same guess as mine

sanchez
stamann
walker
magomedsharipov

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Stephens, Lawler, Cody, Johnny Walker, Bones and Usman are all literally free money

>agrees with me even though I get paid because I'm legally mentally disabled.

I love ths board.

espn shilling zabit hard

Congrats, you only picked one winner (Jones)

That's hard to do

Woodley
Askren
Yikes

Smith, Usman, Munoz are all free money

Tecia Torres and Lawler are easy money, people are sleeping on Usman too.

Based

Why is some wmma canfest on ppv instead of based Johnny Walker? Who would pay 60 for that shit?

It's over jon

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UFC wants some of them chinese bux

UFC is hoping wheelie beats Tecia and becomes a Chinese WMMA star, they coddle the shit out of Chinese fighters.

Wake up, Tony...

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>early prelims are all w*men
why is this meme still around

r8

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meme/10

lmao only 9 hours to go til the main event

this is called value, everyone else should take notes

Wow, I have autism and I think YOU'RE RETARDED

whats that like 14 real dollars?

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That's a fun bet for a quarter, calm down user.

Can all you morons making stupid bets just pool all your money together and mail it to me? Ill spend it on something useful

Tbh I bet like 80c a piece so I can't say shit

this, i can't afford cigarettes and heems collective net worth of 8 dollars is really triggering me

Am I gonna make it, lads?

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I said something usefull not cancersticks

Learn To Code Lmfao

what language

Tyron took the Theodorupill

Attached: tyron painting.jpg (622x656, 70K)

HAH GOT EM

pretty based desu

You bet on Diego?
But why?

ok fine, a bottle of gin

Not taking any more picks not sure if i'll goof them download them just in case

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english obviously dumb cunt look at my flag

Does being mean make you happy?

Gins trash, you have shit taste m8

ruh roh

prepare for fifteen minutes of considering suicide as your boy is humped against the cage

gin is cheap and tastes good straight, you are the pleb here my friend

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Second.

True alchy's only drink voddy

Bookies love this thread

Javascript and html. Php is a good one to know too

i'd never hurt you on purpose i thought you could take it

How do you learn those

>bitches about gin
>calls cigarettes "cancersticks"
Go back

Vodka cost the same is much easier to get down this guy knows

>download

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There's no point in even watching the fights tonight if I don't have Twitchy reading the /heem/ thread to me while I watch. I miss him lads.

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Both things you just said are incorrect, there's a reason Gin made such a boom when it first came out

Only the first 2; and I prefer they just put the garbage at the start. Now you can easily skip the wmma, just start watching an hour late.

I'll goof them if it's all the same to you

Youtube

slip or fuck off

All of them

mainly because I think Gall is a bjj can

you guys bullied him into an heroing, you got only yourselves to blame

New

Man, I gotta quit. Getting hair-tested fir all intoxicants to get sole custody of my child, gambling will be my only vice of next Friday.

Pray for me /heem/

It’s too herbal and floral straight, it’s one of the best bases for cocktails though

>Twitchy
story? newfag here

new

>bookies love 25c bets
ye i bet they do

Best underdog value is Stephens at +205. Tyron at -175 is free money.

Also the wmma underdogs have a shot because all women suck.

im gonna add myself k?

bluefag and newpilled

That's what you get for participating in 'thread celebrity' cancer.

agree

we don’t talk about that here

no

>poor me

Mr. Bone
Woodley
Askren
Zhang
Garbrandt

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>Jones meme ends
You fucking wish,....

The results might surprise you

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I have been wrong about every single big fight this year except Israel. Do you should trust my gut feelings are wrong

Jones
Woodley
Lawlor
Garbrandt
Zabit

We always knew he is autistic as a mother fucker...

Underrated post.

Didn't jon /heem/ your boii, cuck?