I wish I was just 1/100th as cool as him lads

I wish I was just 1/100th as cool as him lads

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Just stay away from drugs and be yourself

He was an interesting fella.
One of his friends stole my car.

sup grandpa

Where does he keep his brain? That head is clearly too short by a mark.

Bustin' Out of L-7 [Gordy, 1979]
Fairly funky I suppose, though not on the slow numbers. But if this is 'delic, then so was the Strawberry Alarm Clock. C

Garden of Love [Gordy, 1980]
The latest propaganda from the P-Funk ministry is calling him Slick Rick. Slick Lame is more like it. Here he makes do like crazy with the free-love smarm, returning to what he calls funk only on the title cut, which takes a decidedly utilitarian view of a woman living the free-loving life. C-

Street-Songs [Gordy, 1981]
Nobody ever doubted that Rick James was commercial, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. When he's not rocking out, which is mostly, he even finds time to come up with some dynamite love-man bullshit, while the street simulations are convincing enough. But if the kinky girl with the braids down to her ankles in "Super Freak" is the same girl from "Mary-Go-Round", then one has to wonder what the kink is? The hair?A-

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Didn't he kidnap a girl?

Throwin' Down [Gordy, 1982]
I was so sure that Rick James didn't even want to top Street-Songs--might give his fans the wrong idea and then he'd have to actually work for a living. So there's nothing on here as epochal as "Super Freak", but the fast ones are such bad fun and he's the nearest thing to a pop musician in the rock-and-roll sense that today's black charts, as well as today's white charts, has to offer. And in that spirit, he should never sing a ballad again. B+

Cold-Blooded [Gordy, 1983]
As his head continues to expand, tricks that one seemed expedient now seem like a necessity. Teena Marie and the latter-day Tempts he could keep up with, but Smokey Robinson shows him up hard for the naif he is, not to mention the absurdity of "P.I.M.P. T.H.E. S.I.M.P." This is not a man who should be criticizing his peers for dressing funny. B-

Glow [Gordy, 1985]
Rick James was never Mr. IQ to begin with, but this record is so stupid--not just stupid, but stoopid. All of which makes his continuing failure to conquer MTV the more bewildering since between his one-dimensional beat, fop coiffure, and relentless sexual self-aggrandizement, that's clearly where he belongs--he may be smarmier than Billy Idol, but hey, what's a little grease among professionals? C-

The Flag [Gordy, 1986]
I generally ignore charges that political content is commercially motivated, but with James I buy 'em. The Real Rick was the moist romantic fop of Glow, and when his self-expression didn't get over he churned out some lines on the Bomb, honing his craft by the by. C+

Wonderful [Reprise, 1988]
Freed at last from Mr. Gordy's tyrannical plantation, James gives it up for that begged, borrowed, or stolen funk, the highlight being "Loosely's Rap." But he still can't resist ballads, a big mistake for a guy who spells L.U.V. as C.U.M. Docked a notch for peeping as the girls are going down and then for suggesting a devil lesbian go straight by reaching into his trousers and fishing out his dick. C+

>Christgau drone
Low tier