TOOL Pitchfork

fuck niggers and fuck jews bros. This album is great

Score will be somewhere in the range of 7.0-7.5 but the review will be either absolutely glowing or deride Tool as out of touch in our diverse world.

there is absolutely no excuse for an album that took so long to make being so boring and uninspired

when king gizzard makes "just another gizzard album", it's the fourth release of that year from them

when tool releases "just another tool album" after 13 years, that's unacceptable

The reviewer of Lateralus is a notoriously shitty """""reviewer""""" who also gave NIN's The Fragile a 2 or some shit. He said nothing of substance in either review as well.

Who honestly reads and cares what music "reviewers" think? Reviews are just there so stupid people can take their positions and opinions and fit in

I wish album reviews just described the sound without actually giving a rating other than whether it was performed well

everything else is subjective and overall ratings are pointless

it wont get this

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Man you should make a thread out of this comment

kek

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Fantano recorded his review already but hasn't released it cus he doesn't want to get criticized for "not listening to it enough for it to click".
He gives it a light to decent 4
Screencap me faggots

does anyone know this actually?? would love to see who they offended

yeah

probably pretty hard since only cringe neckbeards who wear trenchcoats over their flame shirts in the summer listen to Tool
but then again ironic metal has been in and out for a while now

b a s e d

>Screencap me faggots.
I'm on it!

In what way will they decide to make a joke about DMT in the review

6/10
Maynard's rape accusation will be brought up.

4.9/10

what if they rate it modestly just to be unpredictable

le based

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"boy, they must have been on dmt when they made this. it's like they can barely move. their fingers that is. maynard's stale repetition hits the brink on this one. here they really break on through, to the edge of boredom that is."

Isn't this that review site for hipster faggots?

No matter what they give it, once the review drops the album will be even harder to discuss on this shitty site.

It used to be, now it’s just faggots

It's not weird at all. Pitchfork in its first several years courted controversy, so they gave outrageous scores for attention. And look, it worked. But you can't compare early Pitchfork to even middle age Pitchfork, let alone current progressivist-corporate Conde Nast Pitchfork.

I kind of miss the pretentious outrageous über-hipster start-up energy of early Pitchfork, with especially DiCrescenzo's offensively ridiculously reviews. At least they had an identity.

When is the last time Pitchfork BTFO’d anything? Seriously... how long has it been?

Then no one would read it. You're asking for a unicorn (if unicorns were boring). Polemics will never die.

no review tonight i guess?

Used to be excellent for finding great new indie music to show friends 10 years ago. Now it’s uber corporate shilling absolutely horrible rap music and neglecting rock, indie, and metal

That was unexpected

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They trashed Greta Van Fleet pretty recently, but that was low hanging fruit

Notice how they delayed their rating and review until after their corporate press peers submitted theirs?

Pitchfork has no identity anymore.

lil xan too

>implying they ever had an identity

They didn't become the premier hipster music website by repeating what every other music publication says. Even Yea Forums still only talks about Pitchfork (and Fantano) when it comes to music reviews. People here are not posting about any other mainstream publication.

Based

Does anyone unironically give a shit what pitchfork has to say about anything?

Maynard is a child rapist. He sodomized an 8 yr old boy for a sex magick ritual