Get so anxious the other day that I explode and just get depressed...

People pay a lot of money for drugs to make them feel that way. Enjoy the feeling while you can. Use this as an opportunity to listen to music that you normally wouldn’t be able to get into in a more lucid state. I suggest some Schoenberg or Webern if you’re not already into early 20th century classical.

You're depressed. Look into therapy with emphasis on CBT to rearrange your mental priorities and get on an antidepressant.

>cock and ball torture

ebic

Wait until you have monthly bills to pay and a job you can't fucking stand, your anxiety will go through the roof. And dont think a girlfriend will help, then your anxiety will be directed towards worrying if your gf will die in a car accident or cheat on you.
Tldr: get used to the anxiety or die trying, it never goes away

Take the stoicism pill and become happy

But dont kill yourself, that's what the aliens pranking us with our current existence want you to do. The best thing is to talk yourself into thinking everything is great and controlling your mind to accept everything as ok. That Is the secret to life

Give me your top 5 albums, I want to test something

>You both seem like stronger people than me who probably have achieved much more. There was a time when I was bitter and envious of people like you and tried to blame things external to myself for my own inferiority. But I've accepted it and that I don't care enough to change i. Should I just kill myself?
I understand what you feel on a very deep level but you must realise that you've gone too far. You know 0 things about these two guys yet you've already concluded that they're better and more successful men than you. Being critical of yourself and admiring others are good things, but you've taken it to a extreme level, as I and other people have done in the past too. And yes, judging from the OP you're having a depressive episode.
It's time to make some lifestyle and mindset changes, my man. Don't take meds, but you will need to work some stuff inside your head and outside of it too.

I know you're both going to tell me to just keep trying but I don't want to. The WANT is the big thing here. I've had feelings of suicidal ideation since I was 13 and anxiety/depression since then as well (although I only realized what it was in retrospect). My parents pretty much always knew I was fucked up but they just kind of pretended everything was okay. There's been 3 times in my life where I have tried as hard as I possibly could to become a normie and everytime I almost climb out of the hole something happens and I tumble even further down than when I started the first time. After the last fall I don't WANT to do it again. No matter how bad things got in my life I always WANTED to get better. This is the first time I've been in a depressive period and the desire to change just isn't there I don't give a shit about anything anymore. I prefer pornography to the company of real women, alcohol to the company of my former friends, solitude to company in general and I am totally indifferent to it (whereas in previous similar moments I felt guilty and wanted to try and stop myself from doing it). Everyday is the same and nothing matters. I see no reason I should continue living "just improve yourself" not only seems like a meme but something I am biologically incapable of

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>The WANT is the big thing here
Like I just said, you're depressed. It's textbook stuff. Seek therapy and meds.
>inb4 but I don't have the DRIVE to/it won't work/*depressive venting avoiding the issue*
This is the cycle you have to force yourself out of.

There is still a way out brother i fell for the trade school stem meme and now im in a shit depressing q.c job in a company that is in shambles right now im basically the only worker there with no help with my boss shitting on me constantly so im over the max limit of anxiety that its almost crippling but plan out an exit plan there always is one

>Like I just said, you're depressed. It's textbook stuff. Seek therapy and meds.
>and meds
fuck off

Did I stutter fag? Yeah, seek meds. Hurry up and post your paranoid /pol/ diatribe and then hang yourself

I'm sorry if you or a loved one has had bad experiences with pharmaceuticals. But antidepressants save fucking lives. For many, it is the only thing that keeps them alive long enough that they are able to regain control of their lives.

The "want" will come back. The human spirit is resilient.

Antidepressants are evil shit that zombify you

it's okay to be a huge faggot, you fucking faggot.
youtube.com/watch?v=hlVBg7_08n0

That’s dissociative personality disorder. Means your conscious mind is retreating into your subconscious in order to shield itself from strain and/or stress. How is your home situation? Love life? Sex life? Are you living or just surviving?

See

I love when people who complain about being depressed take active steps to avoid helping their depression, like believing memes on the internet instead of their doctor.

Meds don’t treat dissociative personality disorder. You need to go to therapy for a while and confront the things that are causing your mind to experience so much trauma that it would involuntarily shut itself down to protect itself from further harm.

really nice pick

>I know you're both going to tell me to just keep trying but I don't want to
Why are you even here then? Because it's Yea Forums and you were hoping someone would tell you to kill yourself? Because you're too much of a pussy to do it without permission?

I've never really had a real trauma in my life tho. The only things I can think of are a car crash which could of killed me of it had of been even slightly different but which I miraculously walked away from without even so much as a scratch. The other is my parents divorce but that happened when I was already 17. Albeit I was still living with them and it was pretty depressing but it wasn't "tramautic"

I'm just a faggot who was doomed to be worthless. I'm like the shit that falls on the floor of factories when sausages are being made that gets turned into mystery meat and made into bologna and SPAM. I'm just a byproduct of a process that produces waste like myself in order to create actually desirable products

Yes if I'm being honest

This isn't disassociative personality disorder. That's not even a thing unless you're referring to diassociative identity disorder which this doesn't at all sound like. He sounds like he's majorly depressed, and maybe it causes derealization/depersonalization/disassociation which I think is what you may be referring to

Both of those things were extremely traumatic to you and you have buried them rather than face them for what they are. Plus, I’m sure there is more that you don’t want to talk about or that you can’t remember off the top of your head.

Yeah, dissociative identity disorder. That’s what I meant. And yes, this is clearly such a case. Nothing about this person suggests that depression is their underlying problem. Maybe they have DID and depression is the result of them not understanding what has been happening to them for years.

Stupid family shit isn't tramautic. Tell a veteran that "muh mommy and daddy got divorced" is tramautic and see what happens

Veterans are sociopaths who kill brown children for capitalist profit.

youtube.com/watch?v=-YLtAbQtUP0

Combat veterans are plenty fucked up, and not a source of good health advice. That was a really stupid argument.

>seeing all of your friends torn to pieces by machine guns in a foreign country is the same thing as dad getting cucked
Yeah sure

No it isn't. DID is characterized by multiple personalities. I think you're referring to depersonalization-derealization disorder which is more consistent with what you're suggesting he has. Also he does imply depressive behavior when he compares himself to factory shit on the floor.

I did say he has depression as a result of another, more serious underlying issue.

This is more likely instead of DID
mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depersonalization-derealization-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20352911

White college kid support group. You're all underweight for sure.

I'm overweight you stupid retard

>seeing piles upon piles of rubble, dead bodies, impoverishment, cultural backwardness, filth, and torture on both sides of a fucking war is exactly the same experience as some wimpy baby having to deal mentally with the fact that his mom cheated on his dad for 15 years and his dad just took it without even protesting once despite knowing
Uh huh

Why even compare? Just suggests that you’re the fucked up one, buddy.

Well, thanks for being honest. Look, man, it's really not cool of you to come here and try to make us all complicit in your suicide. If you off yourself now we're all gonna have blood on our hands.

Quit your dick measuring private ryan, this isn't breitbart we won't suck you off for being in the military here.

Yeah why would I take issue with thinking I deserve just as much attention psychologically as someone who literally watched all of his friends die before his eyes in a pointless war because my dad's a faggot haha they're exactly the same lol

I like the lavren thread more.

Watch K-On and cheer up bro

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Is this show actually good?

One of my favorite animes. But if you go in cynical and bitter and want super serious story you won't find it there. It's just easy going, chill, non-cynical and warm-hearted all the way through. Also they put a lot of SOUL into the animation, especially in season 2.

This entire album. I listened to it over and over again when I spent two years in malpractice-endured benzo withdrawal. It’s an auditory description of that sort of experience, created by someone who has gone through it.
youtu.be/qOq_q5gM4_I

Based

Cringe

I think you might have forgotten but it is 2019, and we are currently in a post-scarcity world and we don’t need to ration healthcare and save it for the more harshly-afflicted members of society.

None of that matters. Putting myself on the same level as someone who actually suffered because muh mommy and daddy issues makes me a bad person. It makes me selfish and self centered. Material reality has absolutely nothing to do with it. Morally I'm no better than the child of some ceo who cries because someone called her a whore and it hurt her feelings

>2019
>post-scarcity

You’re so delusional it’s hilarious

Lick my nuts and cock.

Actually, comparing one person’s illness to someone else’s to degrade or somehow delegitimize their illness just makes you incredibly worthless for health advice, and you’re probably a bad friend too.

Go blow a shotgun and join your iraqi buds then child killer

I'm OP I'm saying that I don't deserve to be treated like someone who's actually suffered because all of my "problems" are just a product of being an intrinsically worthless person

That’s a delusional self-perception. You are the last person you should trust to give yourself a character assessment.

> post-scarcity
You don't know what those words mean

It's empirical. I have never seen my leg get blown off. Therefore I shouldn't be treated like someone who has. This isn't hard

Great argument, fuckboy. Point out where the healthcare shortages are happening in the developed world that are not a result of poor people being priced out of treatment or potential doctors being priced out of attending med school. Yeah, America is the only place in the developed world where healthcare “shortages” happen, and they’re entirely man-made.

You are valid.

No I'm not. I'm just a piece of shit. Someone who has failed three times to do the bare minimum and now lives in limbo because he's too indifferent to even TRY to do that isn't a person or at least not a person to be taken seriously. I wish I hadn't of even made this thread desu now I just am back to hating myself which is an emotion at least but it isn't the one I wanted. I wish I would have choked to death in the womb on my mothers umbilical cord fuck it

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Always time to see a therapist. I’m seeing mine on friday :)

I'd rather die. I'm not memeing. What is a therapist going to do? What are they going to do that I haven't already done to myself? They're just going to tell me all the shit you just did and that didn't work. Nothing works. /fit/ shit didn't work, starting a band didn't work, trying to learn philosophy didn't work. It's all useless for me. It isn't in general but for me it is. I'm a fucking worthless sack of shit in sorry I levitikstwly am sorry that I am just a huge baby I'm sorry I'm sorry I wish I could just fucking die

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You have never seen a good therapist, it's obvious. Give it a try. What have you got to lose?

Tell me what difference it would make

just unironically take some shrooms, i recommend starting with a 1.5g-2g dose then 3.5 - 4g

this is the comment that starts the 'after' part of your life btw

you're being defensive. you're trivializing your problems so you don't feel inclined to deal with them. doing that won't make your problems go away. if anything it will make them worse as you create a mindset that your situation will never be bad enough to seek help.
there will always be other people who have it worse than you, that is true, but you don't have to get fucking shot in afghanistan or some shit to get qualified for help. it's a fucking doctor's job to treat their patients, no matter how trivial their problems are. you should probably take advantage of that.

Might help you to want to live again. Might help you build a productive path forward for your life.

I have a close friend who would be in the void right now if he hadn't started going to therapy. His quality of life has improved drastically since he began therapy two years ago.

That's all I can offer you OP. If you want to do some research yourself, you will find no shortage of evidence that therapy works. But it's up to you to take that first step.

It just,confirms how pathetic I am for you to say that. If I literally need to be treated as if I am a veteran or a starving child in order to just be returned to baseline without ever having any true trauma to create that state of mind I am just an inherently weak individual and mankind would be objectively better without me. Therefore I should either kill myself or continue to withdraw from society until I get th balls to kill myself or at least until I become homeless and end up dying on the streets somewhere

It won't I already tried i threw everything I had at it and here I am. If I can't pull myself up nobody else will fuck it I'm sorry

all I said is that help exists and that it's available for anyone who asks for it, regardless of their situation. that doesn't "confirm" anything about you.

No it does. If I can't handle life without therapy and nothing had ever even happened to me it me and I'm defective

If your car is defective, you take it in to a professional to get it assessed and fixed.

Not if it was made in a way that nothing can ever help it. Than you just take it to the trash heap

Were you born with no legs? No eyes? No brain? No. So you can fix yourself. You just have to do that thing that NEETs everywhere fear: try.

No

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What does it mean

It don't matter, all of that psychology shit is just made up garbage.

t. psych major

youtube.com/watch?v=Q6fldyHVOsA

This. Just learn to improve the symptoms. Who fucking cares which disorder you have? Focus on fixing it.

No one knows what it means but it's provocative. It gets the people going.

WHAT SHE ORDER

lol truly American hours on 4channel
youtu.be/d9DUqjNMZ60

youtube.com/watch?v=Z-tTmSY4m4M

This kind of stuff doesn't make me feel better when I'm depressed, but it sort of feels therapeutic. Then again, a lot of Nujabes is like that

If you're still with us OP, listen to some fucking Ween. It is a temporary depression cure.

youtube.com/watch?v=dEDpGE4JPHE

>who cares about x descriptive thing when you can focus on y descriptive thing?
You get that disorders address the fundamental cause of said symptoms? And that those symptoms can manifest in other ways and the source can be obfuscated if you treat some other shit

user, please go see a therapist, you need to talk this shit out with a professional

youtube.com/watch?v=YHesqaMhh34

No one's intrinsically worthless, it doesn't work like that. You have to give your own life meaning.

I feel exactly like this everytime I'm alone and think to myself, but it doesn't last. And when i go out with friends or at work I'm completely normal. No one close to me would guess i actually feel this way, and i would never dream of telling anyone this. I think that if i didn't have shit to do i would have actually done it. Fuck. Yeah i know, I'm pathetic, go out more, change your lifestyle, be positive blah blah blah people sure are amazing at giving advice, but absolute shit when it comes to really help out.

ITT: Yea Forums tries to be Yea Forums

More like: Yea Forums tries to be reddit.com/r/suicidewatch

nobody can help ya like urself ya dum dum

Just don't kill yourself. That's the worst thing. People that jump from bridges feel regret on the way down. Death is coming for everyone, but there's no point rushing to it. Even a shitty life is preferable to death.

There’s no reason to kill yourself, you’ll be gone in less than a 100 years anyway. This is probably all there is, so you might as well check it out to the end. It’s not gonna be that long, but who knows, you might end up finding some moments that made it all worth it.

I also have a hard time wanting anything bad enough, cause it ultimately doesn’t matter. And that seems bad at first, but eventually I think it will be freedom. From anxiety and so on. Nothing REALLY matters, and that’s a huge load off my shoulders. But then you have to find a reason to do something anyway. We’re wired to be able to experience some pretty glorious emotions, but we can get estranged from them.

The two most major things for me have been starting to do things again, ie. create music, try new things, NOT for an end result, but because I am able to find excitement in the process. I don’t believe in myself, so as soon as I’m trying to achieve something, it’s not fun anymore. But as long as it is just for me, then it can be. Even if you’re doing it “to have fun”, you’re still actively trying to get something out of it, and that can kill it too. This is what people talk about when they say you should just be in the moment, and let go of any expectations. All the best moments in your life have happened spontaneously, when you weren’t expecting it, true or not? It’s hard to do something and not form an idea of what it is gonna be like, but that’s what I try to do.

The other thing is a social perspective. It’s basically just try actively loving everyone. Don’t think of your love as something scarce. Just pass that shit around. There’s a lot of energy you can get from it, and it feels great. Of course you should respect peoples boundaries, it’s more like an intention or an attitude towards them. It makes a big difference, I taught myself to be genuinely happy for other people this way, instead of resentful

Don’t know if it helps, but I wanted to share

youtube.com/watch?v=ppTm2RpHjwk

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it does if u exercise and have hobbies and fun. lazy fat fucks.

Dude you gotta believe you can deal with those things... And you can, but you gotta KNOW that with yourself. You're essentially anxious cause you're sitting on a thin, shitty branch that looks like it could snap, yet you're not moving towards a thicker branch. Cause what if you fall trying to get off it? But you're already living in deathly fear of the branch snapping anyway

OP you're really fucked up, talk to a therapist, it can't get worse. also the fact that you tried to improve your situation multiple times means you are not as pathetic as you think

Do you have a role model? Or do you know what you admire? A lot of the time if you’re confused I think that’s a good thing to look at