Who's top dog?

t. melon

>that hover hand
Muh sides

Based

based. by the time you’re 80 you will be glad someone is still with you, no matter what happened in the past

still scaruffi though

>that “I’m never going to get metoo’d”
Yeah he’s probably smart

the article's about how Christgau let his wife fuck other men, you retards

bro he's in fucking asia, i doubt you get metoo'd there

ok and?

>implying I didn’t know

Ys [Drag City, 2006]
Original is one thing, worth doing another--and if only indie ideologues knew the difference. So much that is sprightly about the debut is subsumed here by ambition, to be kind, and privilege, to be brutally accurate. The through-composition does gain melodic grace over time but would mean little without the ministrations of Van Dyke Parks, whose fancy stuff requires simpler tunes than Newsom wishes to provide. And the libretto--ach Gott! Supposedly inspired by milestones in Newsom's life, these whimsical pastoral allegories reveal only that her taste for the antique is out of control. All those who gave this a rave should proceed directly to Edmund Spenser's The Faerie Queene or John Bunyan's The Pilgrim's Progress. The new Arcade Fire will only waste their time. C+

Christgau for sure

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Because he's the hero Yea Forums deserves, but not the one it needs right now.

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It's like choosing the most polished turd

Whatever became of him?

is it me or does....anthony look kind of handsome in that picture....

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> currently listening to GY!BE
>see's this picture
>mfw eyes piercing my soul
>turn off GY!BE and put on Swirlies instead...

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1 of them likes to play pseudo reviewer in his spare time so he's out of the question. you fags can argue about melon and christgau

Scaruffi by far. He's pretentious and has some retarded ass opinions, but he actually makes attempts to be a critic.

Melon is a thesaurus for adjectives and I have an easier time deciphering Faulkner than I do Christgau.

Depends.
As far as taste goes, probably Scaruffi. Christgau's taste is pretty bland, although admittedly consistent, while Fantano's taste feels very surface level and uninteresting, which are pretty bad qualities for a reviewer. I'm really only picking Scaruffi because his taste is similar to mine.
As far as the reviews themselves go, it's hard to say because they're all bad at writing them. Fantano is easily the worst. Repetitive, rambly, unsubstantial and full of filler (presumably because of that youtube cash). Scaruffi's reviews are often either needlessly confrontational (the kind of reviews people post on Yea Forums purely for (You)s), completely inconsequential (most of them, most of which barely count as reviews) or badly written adjective salads that rely way too much on comparisons. Christgau's reviews are annoying, pretentious and often insufferable to read, but they're at least occasionally amusing, either because of the occasional one-liner or because it's fun reading the ramblings of an old man, and they're short enough that reading them isn't a chore like the other two often are. So I guess I'm picking Christgau.
Anyway, they all suck but I can say Fantano sucks the hardest.

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For this review alone I favor Christgau. Plus Scaruffi likes nu-metal.

Scaruffi

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Scaruffi is the obvious chad
The literal cuck orange man bad Christgau
The nigger-fucker-hipster-vegan I'm-gonna-rest-my-chin-on-my-hand-and-my-favourite-band-is-death-grips Melt

>lost highway
“no”

Scaruffi, because he's a memelord. He's just as arrogant and pretentious as the other two, but he at least has fun with it and doesn't tow any line set by anyone else.
Christcuck is a boomer faggot who's head is so far up his ass he thinks his dumb little reviews are on par with Dostoevsky or something. He has no real opinions on music itself, it's just about how he can trick the reader into thinking he's smarter than everyone else.
Fagtano is a dishonest little clout chasing bugman who will say and do anything for internet likes.

>Potbelly
>Trump
fucking hell

>Holding Bass
>""quirky"" octagonal glasses
>resting head on hand like e-boy

>With two cute smiling grils
>Hover hands because he doesn't want to make them uncomfortable
>Good dress sense and belt

Clear winner here folks

kek

t. cuck

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funny how you can make out how their reviews work based on what the wear

>political shock value
>casual business /practical /timeless
>trendy / memester

i’m obsessed with lynch but lost highway is not my favourite

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melon is literally just wearing a black jacket whats so memey

which is then?

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>_trendy_ / memester

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Armond White

that’s tough. toss up between mullholland drive/blue velvet/fire walk with me, dune is easily the best sci fi film i’ve seen, and i’m not counting twin peaks

kek okay you’re right it was hard to see in op

I think it's the only good picture of him in existence