Tfw a fat alcoholic who is going to kill himself soon buy will binge eat and drink for as long as possible until then

>tfw a fat alcoholic who is going to kill himself soon buy will binge eat and drink for as long as possible until then
Music for this feel? Also feel free to insult me as much as you want i also have a femdom fetish and will just imagine you all as big beautiful goddesses telling at me

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Brandon?

Lol no

if you stop walking down this path, there's another one with light at the end of it. just sayin. not even implying any religious connotations. just sayin that redemption isn't something made up by comic books and action movies, you can be a better person if you decide wholeheartedly to do so. i'm not even saying that i'm an example of that. i don't even know if i used the word ' connotations ' correctly. i'm just sayin, man. you're never too far from home. you can always go back and start again. it never hurts to try.

but all that being said, i get that getting absolutely fucked-up and daydreaming about death is fun. so i won't stop you.

Eric?

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>chriddof
fuck, does he still make shit? i remember being obsessed with him back in high school.

He seems to be on and off basically. Think he had a new youtube channel which got uploaded to frequently but it poofed. He did a candid video essay on why people don't get the fake vhs filters right that I'd love to track down but it's gone.

I've pretty much settled on fatalism. Everyone is going to be what they will be and some people are just meant to be nothing and every time they try to transcend that they have to feel such intense pain that they don't try it again. And then they just settle and wait around to die. I don't want to try anymore if its just going to lead back to the start everytime

One reason I want to kill myself (although it's a very small part) is that I look back on things that seem recent, periods of my life where I seemed hapoy, and realize it's so fucking far away from me. And I think about how my life is so shitty now compared to then and how even so I will gaze upon the handful of good memories from this present time in another 10 or 15 years and wish I could return. I am so terrified of that moment where life becomes even worse and where I am nostalgic for the days when things were just shitty instead of abysmal and apocalyptic. I don't want to have to deal with that and I am so terrified and anxious for the moment where the earthquake shakes me from the bad present into the atrocious future

You have to look at it like this: there's a "chance" someone on life support in a coma will wake back up but overwhelmingly that isn't the case so do you really want to bankrupt yourself and have unending emotional trauma just for the person to end up going braindead anyway or do you just go ahead and pull the plug

If you were pregnant with a child who doctors said would definitely be born severely mentally retarded to the point where they'd probably die an early death and suffer immensenley the whole time would you have the kid anyway just to "give it a chance?"

William?

just like go drive really fast

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nothing wrong with being a fat alcoholic OP. no need to kill yourself

Ok

Not the guy you're responding to but hear this: healing is always possible, and I don't mean immortality by that of course

I'm a fat alcoholic because I hate myself I don't hate myself because I'm a fat alcoholic

quit being a fucking pussy and do something about it. kill yourself or make a change

why dont you do something cool like hitchhiking across the country or hiking a mountain instead of killing yourself

Ernest?

Please MOMMY please tell me more about how worthlwss i am

To add to that, each one of us has his package to carry, no one is free from suffering, many people are just blessed by the ignorance of introspection which is also a curse, cause who really wants to live a life on autopilot?
What do you want, you do you want to be, what do you want to achieve? Know thyself and answer these questions honestly and you'll find: healing is always possible

i've only got simple answers for you. you're not on life-support, you're not a retarded baby. your worth is only an extent of yourself. if you believe that you're worthless and deserve to die, there's nothing else to say. but that feeling comes from within, and so did the way you felt during the good times. if you believe that you will die, you will die. and there's nothing anybody can do, and you're gonna reach a point where you can't do anything either. maybe you already have. i'm sure that you're fully aware there's always a way out, and i'm sure you've tried it, and i'm sure you've fallen down often. we all do. nobody's perfect. if you're really gonna punch it this time, if you're really gonna let it all stop, just try to think about what a good person you were before you slip into the void. i think you owe yourself that much. and whatever it's worth, this user who knows nothing about you thinks you deserve to live, and he's far from perfect.
and he also uses 'and' in a grammatically incorrect fashion, so he's probably not worth listening to. do what ya feel, dog. just know some dum motherfucker cared.

Nobody owes anyone anything

i'm an alcoholic and i've been cutting down a bit so i've been eating a lot more, and i also hate myself. ofc i feel suicidal a lot of the time because i fucking hate myself. i feel you OP. basically we both need girlfriends
also music for this feel
youtube.com/watch?v=KbQSI4u__ys

i guess that's what it all falls down to. you only owe yourself. and whatever you think is right can't be argued.

>we both need girlfriends
I would rather masturbate to femdom pornography desu. I don't even want to try to find an irl dom or a gf with those tendencies because I feel like I would still not be good enough for them Even tho they literally look for fat little worms like me for their own perverse joussiance so idk but thank you

Why do i owe myself anything

you clearly think you're owed some amount of pleasure otherwise you wouldn't do the things you do.

I only do them because I can't kill myself yet for certain reasons and I need something to pass the time

fair enough, man.

> I don't even want to try to find an irl dom or a gf with those tendencies because I feel like I would still not be good enough for them
isn't that the point of masochism? the worse, the better. now go out there and find yourself a nice feminist dom gf or hire a dominatrix to poke the gaping wound of your insecurities!

>isn't that the point
Exactly I feel like even people who enjoy making pets out or the weak willed wouldn't want me

Listen to "It's alright Ma", that song feels always like a soothing freshness

listen to some death metal and grab life's balls with a vice grip

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wassup fellow nihilist

Instead of killing yourself you might as well just keep eating and drinking.
Anyway, here'd what my suicidal friend used to listen to every night while pointing a toy gun to his head youtu.be/1aQfamwIEy8

based

the thought of putting myself out there and facing rejection also makes me suicidal but we've got to face our fears user

Kill yourself in peace. Stop fucking posting about it.

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TAD
youtube.com/watch?v=FEW1ukJe7ew
don't actually do that though, jesus christ

>but we've got to face our fears user
Why

Why not

>Why
because otherwise we're pussyass bitch coward cuckold faggots who could be living happy lives with sexy hot cute girlfriends but instead we just hate and want to kill ourselves because we're too insecure to even try, it's narcissistic